Work Text:
It only takes a moment
For your eyes to meet and then
Your heart knows in a moment
You will never be alone again
Jerry Herman, performed by Michael Crawford, Ernest Lehman, Lionel Newman, from Hello, Dolly!
“No way.”
Josuke groaned with his whole body; swinging his torso around in a large circle like a wobbly top. Okuyasu and Yukako went out to grab lunch, he and Koichi waited for them under a large tree in front of the school. Josuke would have joined them, but he was a little strapped for cash lately, plus it gave him an opportunity to talk to Koichi about very important matters.
“C’mon, man.” Josuke stabbed his chopsticks into his 500 yen Makunouchi bento he grabbed from Hokaben. “It’ll be fine. We’d just be makin’ sure everything goes smoothly. Me’n Okuyasu spy on your dates all the time. We even got fake moustaches.”
“That does not help your case.” Koichi exasperated and rolled his eyes. “I’ll pass. Maybe let’s just give him privacy, huh?”
“Hm.” Josuke pouted, looking down into his lunch. It was silent between them for a beat.
Koichi frowned. “Wait, you have fake moustaches?”
Cut to now, with Josuke slouched behind a menu, peeking over the top. He snagged the perfect spot; the man of the hour faced away from him at a small table for two a few tables away. Not like Okuyasu would recognize him anyway. Josuke wiggled his nose and adjusted his moustache.
“Ready to order now , sir?”
He raised his eyes to what was possibly the most tired and impatient looking waiter in Morioh.
“Ah~h, no my good man, I think I’m gonna need another few minutes, if that’s okay.” Josuke replied in a comically deep baritone. He might have been overdoing it, but he couldn’t blow his cover. He put down the menu as the waiter stomped off and fussed over his hair. His pomp would have given him away way too easily if Okuyasu so much as glanced in his direction, so he opted to slick it back with a little gel. Sacrifices had to be made. He is, however, only good at styling his hair one way, so the stray hairs that kept dangling in front of his face no matter what he did were starting to get annoying. He even forgo the contacts and wore his black frames. Okuyasu had the gall to tease him as soon as he got back from the optometrist with his mom when he first got them. In fact, he was sitting on his porch as they rolled into the driveway. Listen, maybe there was some permanent optical damage after his run-ins with Hazamada and Shigechi, not his fault. He wasn’t a total nerd, and Nerdville did not call asking for its mayor.
Anyway, Josuke snooped about the room again. Dimly lit, wine glasses galore, candles, fancy white tablecloths, you name it. Even the waiters had napkins draped over their forearms. We’re talking real fancy. Josuke was almost afraid to look at the prices printed in front of him.
“Gotta pick the best fine dining establishment there is.” Okuyasu said to him a couple days ago. “I’d pick Tonio’s, but I think I feel another cavity, and I don’t really want a tooth goin’ mach one towards my date, y’kno~w.”
Date . Ugh. Barf. Whatever. He’s not dwelling. He brought his menu back up to cover his face. Speaking of, she should have been here by now. He took a moment to search the restaurant and noticed Okuyasu doing the same. He seemed nervous, and went back to chug his third glass of the water with one hand and aggressively chow down on his third basket of free garlic breadsticks with the other. Even from here, Josuke could see the sweat lining his hairline reflected in the soft lights above the table. He fidgeted with his menu.
Date. It was Okuyasu’s first one. He found his other half getting approached by a pretty girl after class last week. He could totally hear Okuyasu stumbling over his words, face beet red, as he accepted the invitation. The girl chuckled and left him. He collapsed onto Josuke when he approached, pulling the fabric of his gakuran as he basically fell to his knees in front of locker 204.
Josuke patted his friend’s head and jokingly reminded him to not forget about his bestie.
That night he tore his pillow in half.
He blinked. He was kidding when he said it, but the words ended up crawling under his skin and setting up shop there. He wouldn’t forget him, right? He wouldn’t leave just like that; for a girl. Of course not. This is Okuyasu we’re talking about. The most loyal friend you could ask for. He-
He was still sitting alone at his table. How long has it been? Josuke looked at his watch. Almost an hour.
Oh. Oh no. This poor schmuck’s just been officially stood up.
Okuyasu’s foot bounced, the expensive fabric jiggling where it was tucked around his knee. Josuke saw his hands twitch around his empty glass like he was about to swipe it to kingdom come. Even the water came in a wine glass. Man, this was not cool.
Josuke dragged his hands down his face and rubbed at his chin. On the one hand he could let Okuyasu go and quietly sneak out of the restaurant to save his buddy’s dignity. Or-
He watched as that impatient waiter approached his table. Okuyasu rubbed the back of his neck, back hunched forward. He then pictured Okuyasu ordering another water and basket of breadsticks. He’d drink the water, he’d eat the sticks, and after another hour of sitting by himself, he’d get up and walk home alone. Fuck that. Not if Josuke Higashikata has anything to say about it, and Josuke Higashikata says that Okuyasu Nijimura’s fate is not sitting on the toilet pissing tap water and shitting out garlicky gluten all night.
The sound of the chair scraping against the wood floor as Josuke stood had a couple heads turn towards him. He ripped off his moustache, stuffed it into his pocket, put on his trench coat and started weaving through the tables.
As he got closer, he heard Okuyasu expressing that he was still waiting for his date, and was beginning to ask for another water and a batch of breadsticks. Josuke quickened up his pace. A knee popped.
“Hi~i, oh my God! I am so sorry!” He said in a rush, feigning breathlessness. He waved his hand in front of Okuyasu, who startled and swung his head over to Josuke so fast he thought his eyes would keep going and fly out of his skull after his head stopped. He stared Josuke down as he hastily hung his coat on the back of his chair and sat. “Traffic was crazy . So sorry, hi. Have you ordered yet?” Like he didn’t already know. He picked up the menu in front of him. “Can I start with a Coke or Pepsi?”
The waiter didn’t speak for a moment, then “Is Pepsi okay?”
“Pepsi’s great, thanks.”
He grinned awkwardly at Okuyasu, his one eye bunching up from the action. “This ain’t a seafood restaurant.” He playfully chided at the way the other’s pursed mouth moved like a fish out of water; opening and shutting like he wanted to say something. Noises were coming out of his mouth, but they definitely weren’t coherent. “ Do they have seafood? Wait.” He studied the menu, actually reading the words now.
“Guhptochptgpt-Oi-Y-Wh-”
Josuke looked back up over his glasses. Okuyasu looked a little pained, like he was caught red handed or something. He was red; flushed from his ears to his neck. Hah, if he was a fish he’d be a red snapper, then. “I know. You can beat the shit out of me for bein’ here. But, and sorry to break it to you, but I don’t think your dates comin’.”
“Yer hair.”
Josuke’s eyes widened and he brought his hands up to tidy it before he could stop himself, heat rising to his own cheeks. Okuyasu seemed to snap out of some reverie. He almost flinched out of his chair, shooting his hands out from where they hovered in front of him and starting waving them placatingly.
“No, no! I just meant it’s different! I haven’t seen it down in a while! Ha ha. It’s nice! I swear! And yer glasses! Traffic from Nerdville that bad?” At the change of subject, a smile finally, finally , showed up.
“Yeah, yeah, yuk it up, asshole.” Josuke adjusted his frames. “Look, I even brought my moustache.” He took out his disguise and tossed it across the table. Okuyasu inspected it, even though he has a matching one in the desk drawer of his room.
“Keh keh. Should have known you’d be lurkin’ around here somewhere, eh?” Okuyasu smiled again, softer this time, keeping his eyes fixed down at the ‘stache. He let out a long, loud sigh. “A little embarrassin’’ though, didn’t even have a date for you ta spy on. Like a boring drama you’d end up changin’ the channel on.”
“Hey, none of that.” Josuke said sharply. There was this unspoken thing between them; an avoidance of feelings, maybe, or an understanding of them to the point where they didn’t need words. Probably the first one, but they got each other; they were a great team like that. “How’re the breadsticks?” He reached over and took the last one in the basket.
Okuyasu played along, albeit hesitantly. Seemed like he was still hung up on his date. Poor dude. “They’re uh, okay, I guess.” He muttered with his gravelly voice. “Maybe we should just go home-”
“We’re already here, might as well stay, right? Not to mention I’m starving . Let’s just have a good time tonight, okay? Forget about it.” His voice was a little muffled around the breadstick in his mouth, crumbs flying everywhere. “Super fancy restaurant, Loverboy. Were ya going to pay and everything?”
“Ah~hgh, yeah, I was.” Okuyasu averted his gaze, scratching at his sharp nose.
“Great, you can pay for me now.” Josuke said smugly, looking back at his menu with an exaggerated pompous air.
“Shut the fuck up dude!” Okuyasu cackled. “These prices are ridiculous, I’m gonna just eat the fuckin’ menu instead.”
“Is that any way to treat yer date!?” Josuke teased, hand pressed to his chest. “After my long drive from Nerdville!”
He felt a foot lodge itself into his foot, and he retaliated in kind.
After a little while, the waiter came up with Josuke's drink and asked for their orders. Okuyasu hadn’t looked at his menu since Josuke sat down; he probably decided what he wanted as soon as it was placed down in front of him. He insisted that Josuke could order whatever he wanted, and that he’d pay for it. Josuke felt a little bad for putting the thought in his head, but hey, he wasn’t going to refuse a free meal. The waiter sighed after he finally took their orders and went off.
The food eventually came, and the conversation shifted to everything and nothing like it was any other time they’d hung out. Josuke was fine with that of course, but as they talked an ache grew in his chest; a sense of longing for something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He propped his head in his hand and watched his friend wiggle his fingers trying to spot his steak knife as he commented on the absurd number of utensils they were given. How could anyone even consider standing this guy up? How could anyone not see what a catch he is? Sure, he can be brash, impulsive, and loud, but he is also kind, protective, fucking hilarious, sincere, and dependable. Josuke always took notice of the other students avoiding Okuyasu’s gaze, almost cowering away in fear whenever he walked by. He didn’t miss the whispers and the rumours, the quickened pace whenever they spotted him. Okuyasu has tried to approach people, giving them his best smile, and the terrified reactions he got in return grinded Josuke’s gears into perfect circles. He can look a little scary sometimes; those buggy eyes can be a little unsettling, especially when he zones out and they just kind of look into your soul. But-
He’s suddenly brought back to the red metal fence, where those beady eyes just wouldn’t open as Josuke called him a dick and begged him not to leave him. He was too limp, too still. Just move. He’s thrown back to that house; where his mind and body were numb, where it felt like he was already dead. A little kid yelled at him to fight back, to hide. Something. He barely registered anything.
“Yoshikage Kira.” He garbled through blood and gritted teeth.
Then a fwoob and a pair of eyes that Josuke thought he’d never see again. They looked so sad as Okuyasu talked about a dream he had. The fuckin’ nerve of him. Fat tears welled up in his own eyes, blurring the figure in front of him. He was so… happy.
He crouched in the middle of the street. Someone asked him if he was injured. He automatically shook his head, unfocused. It’s not him they should be worried about. Where was Okuyasu? Was he okay? He felt hands grip his shoulders and turned up to see small irises boring back into his blue ones while the paramedics announced the death of Yoshikage Kira. “He’s dead?” Was all Okuyasu could say.
He’s brought back to the sterile, white hospital room, where Josuke, high as a kite on painkillers, leg, shoulder and side wrapped in gauze, locked onto the exhausted eyes of his best friend, dark and swollen from sleepless nights and crying sessions. And those eyes stared back so intensely, like if he blinked Josuke would disappear. Then Okuyasu wordlessly reached for Josuke’s left hand and held it tight, rubbing his thumb into the small points of scar tissue on the back. The only sound in the room was the heart monitor beside his bed speeding up.
He’s brought back to the Thorn Building, where he found the sick, motionless body curled up on the floor surrounded by fire extinguisher foam and broken bookcases. He flipped it over to find those familiar, caring eyes gone, replaced by calloused fingers and way too much blood. Josuke healed his eyes, calling him an idiot. He phoned an ambulance, fixed his hair and then followed the torn fabric up to the roof. He had a score to settle and now he had a message.
“Don’t look.”
He vaguely remembered stumbling back down the stairs after watching Takuma Hasumi fall to his death. The pain radiating throughout his body; his ribs, his face, his neck, his knees, his hand, was background noise as he hobbled his way to the trembling body that hadn’t moved since he left. His unbroken hand tried to clamp to his neck, but it kept slipping around the blood. He was swaying on his feet as he took off his jacket. He slowly brushed away the thin layer of snow and draped it over his friend, leaving him in his purple sweater. His breath shuddered out of him as his knees finally gave out. He heard the ambulance sirens muffled in the distance as he desperately clung to consciousness. Mustering any strength he had left he lifted a shaky hand towards his partner, only for it to drop clumsily in front of him. Fuck, he was so tired. He just wished those eyes would open. He failed him, like he failed everyone else. Josuke’s vision faded. At that moment, all he wanted was to see those eyes again.
And even after everything, those weird, insect eyes kept looking at him with such admiration and love. Josuke just couldn’t wrap his head around it. Those eyes that would seek him out as soon as he entered the room, and would visibly brighten when they locked onto Josuke’s. The eyes that he caught himself looking for whenever he would enter a room. The eyes that he would go out to find whenever he needed a reminder that everything was okay, that he was safe. Those eyes that could produce an unnatural amount of tears, the ones that would light up when choco strawberry ice cream was in stock on a warm Monday morning, the ones that crinkled mischievously whenever he slithered up to Josuke with a crazy scheme. The ones that would bug out of his head whenever he forgot he had a test that day. The ones that looked tired but content the morning after he and Josuke stayed up too late playing video games and eating enough snacks to feed an army. The eyes that would avert away with reddened ears and an irritated grumble whenever Josuke made a funny face when he noticed him staring.
Now those eyes bunched up with laughter as Okuyasu told his story. His crow’s feet became more pronounced as he and Josuke laughed so hard they went silent and were left a squirming, nauseous, teary eyed mess. The fists banging on the table were received with a couple dirty looks, but Josuke couldn’t have cared less. Not when Okuyasu looked at him with shiny, red eyes, wiping the tears away.
The meal was delicious. Not scrumdiddlyumptious though, this place wasn’t Tonio’s. They ordered coffee and cheesecake for dessert on a whim when they saw the people next to them eat their slices happily. The bill almost made Okuyasu’s stomach fly out of his mouth, along with the rest of his internal organs, judging by the way he went green in the face. Josuke refused his suggestion to use Crazy Diamond to change the numbers on the menu in order to haggle the restaurant, though Josuke would be lying if he said he didn’t consider it. He begrudgingly and stubbornly still paid for both of them.
They left with their arms linked, stomachs full. The night’s chill made Josuke’s legs a little sore, so he tightened his grip on the other. Okuyasu seemed to get the gesture, and he adjusted himself into a more sturdy, supportive position. He gently knocked his head against Okuyasu’s and let it rest against his temple. He felt a head snuggle in, and that’s how they walked until they reached Jōzenji road. They passed through the archway and stood in silence in front of Okuyasu’s gate, both not ready to unhook their arms. Josuke gazed at the shorter person to his right. Up close, he noticed that Okuyasu didn’t shave for his date, either that or he missed the few hairs above his lips and the little hairs on his chin. His hair was slightly mused from the wind, and that small curly strand of hair that he could never tame stuck out at his temple.
“Well, home sweet home.” Okuyasu turned from his house to look at him. He took his arm away slowly, to which Josuke responded with a small frown. “See ya tomorrow, bro.” He said, gently punching Josuke’s arm before climbing the couple steps up to his gate.
“See ya tomorrow, Loverboy. I got a long drive back to Nerdville.” Josuke put his hands in his pockets.
Okuyasu paused with his hand on top of the gate. He tapped his fingers on the grey metal, brows knitted as he grumbled quietly to himself, lost in thought. The light from a distant streetlight casted his face in shadow. Josuke waited, but Okuyasu just opened the gate and closed it behind him, leaving Josuke face to face with the ‘no passing’ sign. Sauntering up to his front door, he gave Josuke a wave before he disappeared into his house.
He heard the front door open again and Okuyasu barreled towards him. For some reason Josuke had a feeling of hope bloom in his chest. He was reminded of those romance movies where one person would say ‘wait!’ and run back to the other for a final kiss even after they both parted. Why was he suddenly disappointed that Okuyasu didn’t kiss him goodnight at his doorstep? Hang on, what? He stopped in front of Josuke, the gate separating them.
“Forgot this!” He waved Josuke’s fake moustache in front of him with a friendly snicker. He gave Josuke a blinding, slightly sly smile. “Thanks for spyin’ on my date.”
Josuke was taken back a little, then he chortled as he took the moustache. “Just say the word and I’ll crash your date whenever you need.” Okuyasu seemed to consider Josuke at that, eyes darting around his face. To his hair, to his eyes, to his mouth, back to his eyes. Now that he was facing the street, the lights revealed a dusting of red that spread over the other’s scarred cheeks. “Yeah.” He mumbled. “Well, night.”
He slouched and quickly strode his way back to his front door. A thought crossed Josuke’s mind.
“You should take the sign off your gate. It’s been, like, a year and a half.” He called, pointing to the kanji. “‘No passing’. I wonder what people think you mean by that.”
Okuyasu questioned him with a raised eyebrow before walking back. He leaned up and peered over the gate to look at the sign.
“Like, no passing away?” Josuke continued, stepping aside to give Okuyasu more room to look. “Do not walk through those pearly gates here.” He absently reached over and picked off some lint on Okuyasu’s coat.
“Hrrmmh. Or no passin’ kidney stones or somethin’.” Okuyasu drawled. “In that case, keep the sign up, I don’t want people fuckin’ passin’ stones in front’a’my house.” Josuke guffawed. Yes, it bordered on squawking, but who cares. “Move.” Okuyasu said with a twinkle in his eyes, and before Josuke could move he swung the gate open and proceeded to rip the sign off. He walked along the brick wall and removed the other sign for good measure.
“Now people are gonna be like ‘finally, I can pass my kidney stones in front of 4-1280.’” Josuke said as Okuyasu got close enough. Okuyasu laughed. Josuke found himself wanting to hear it again. And again, and again. He wouldn’t mind if he got to hear it everyday, if he could. In fact, he’d go out of his way to try to make it happen. That weird feeling of longing from before was back.
“Okay, get outta here, weirdo.” He passed Josuke and went through the gate again, this time with the signs in tow. He stopped in the middle of his lawn, held up the signs and swiped them away with The Hand. He smirked at Josuke one last time before entering his house for good.
Josuke shook his head fondly, smoothed out his hair, and stood in expectation. He saw the light in Okuyasu’s front room turn on. Wait for it… there. Movement from the larger window to the left. Stray Cat’s face abruptly appeared through the curtains, obviously just woken up from a good nap. A human hand stuck out and fought with his vine paw things to move it in a way that resembled Stray waving. He stayed unimpressed through it all, and even yawned. Josuke waved back, unable to contain a smile. The pink plant vanished as soon as he appeared, and Josuke was left alone with a swaying curtain. He huffed and turned to go home.
Laying in his bed later that night, he felt his gut twisting up into his throat at the idea of crashing another one of Okuyasu’s dates, unless he was his date. Oh, shit biscuits.