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Dazai stared at the location sent to his phone, his mind slightly foggy yet still coherent enough to pick up on the unspoken words it conveyed. It was late, he’d been half asleep at his desk for the majority of the day. His colleagues left him be for once, despite the load of unfinished paperwork. They were all out celebrating their recent victory over Fyodor.
Under normal circumstances, Dazai would’ve gone with them to get a drink, but today something simply felt off and he wasn’t in the mood for a gathering of that sort so he told the other agency members to go without him. Despite their protests, they’d eventually accepted that there was no convincing him to join them. And now, it turns out that there was something off about today, if the message from a certain familiar redhead was any indication.
Dazai didn’t question it as he got up and dragged himself up from his seat and out into the night. He understood what it meant. ‘Come to this location now’ . The two of them always spoke a language that didn’t require words.
A short walk later, Dazai arrived at the coastline of Yokohama and stared out at the lights reflecting on the water’s surface. It was quite a beautiful night. The moon hung high above in the sky and no clouds obscured the stars. Dazai allowed his mind to wander until he sensed an all too familiar presence at his side. One look confirmed what he already knew.
There, next to him, stood his favorite short mafia executive, Chuuya Nakahara, staring in the same direction Dazai did. For a few moments, they simply enjoyed the silence, no words said, listening only to the wind and each other’s familiar heartbeat.
“Hey, asshole.” Chuuya started. Dazai smiled at the casual insult.
“Hey, hatrack.” He replied, earning himself a jab to the side of his ribcage. He immediately retorted to making a big show, whining as though Chuuya had mortally wounded him and he was about to flop over and die right this instant. But, just as he was about to fall, he was caught by his partner who gently placed him down into a sitting position, feet dangling above the water beneath the docks. A second later, Chuuya sat next to him, their shoulders pressing together softly.
“Any reason you ordered me out here?” Dazai asked. “Felt like escaping my colleagues and since I know you I figured you might as well join me, considering you never work either way.” His companion replied. The taller of the both gasped dramatically. “Is Chuuya really accusing me of neglecting my work? How dare he! I’ll have him know I left a perfectly good opportunity to celebrate with the agency just to be here with him!” Chuuya hit him. Dazai winced. “Don’t play dumb, shitty Dazai, not like you actually went with them.” Of course the redhead would know exactly what he did or didn’t do.
“Also, I just wanted to hang out, see your disgusting face and hear your dumb voice, I guess.” Now that caught Dazai off-guard. Curious. “Awwww~ Did Chibi-chan really just want to see me?~ How sweet of him~” Chibi-chan shot him an unimpressed glare. “Don’t make me throw you into the water. I’d hate to fish you out.”, “Then don’t!~ Maybe I’ll finally drown and die then! …Though that would suck, dying at your hands. Let me overthink that again.” Chuuya rolled his eyes and stared out at the water again.
“You said something similar in the facility.” He spoke after a few moments of silence. Dazai turned to look at him. Chuuya was staring into the water in contemplation. “You said that it would suck, me killing you. Like it’s the last thing you wanted.” Something about Chuuya’s expression seemed off. And for once, Dazai couldn’t quite place it. Sadness? No, it was a bit different. But he couldn’t exactly categorize it with help of the Chuuya’s-expressions-folder in his brain. Had he gotten rusty over their years of separation? But that wouldn’t make sense. Every part of his ‘Chuuya Sense’ (A term Dazai made up to express his deep understanding of the other’s everything) was still working properly.
“Well, of course, for one, I couldn’t go through with that double suicide I crave! And also, it would mean losing to you, and that’s the most humiliating thing that could ever happen! Plus, if you’re the last thing I see before my death, how could I ever rest in peace?” Chuuya scoffed and looked away, his gloomy expression darkening further. Dazai raised a curious eyebrow. “What’s wrong, Chibi? You look like someone died.” A glare. “No such thing happened, asshole! I just hate being in your presence!”, “EH?! You were the one who called me out here in the first place!”
The shorter almost shoved him off the docks, but then softly caught him once again, unwilling to let Dazai fall, no matter what. It was them. Dazai and Chuuya. Soukoku. Keeping each other safe despite the constant jabs and exaggerated hostility.
Dazai sighed and settled himself back down comfortably, decidedly ignoring the space around them to remain as close to Chuuya as possible. He banished the teasing part of his voice to nudge his partner softly, words laced with genuine concern. “C’mon, Chibi, tell me what’s wrong. There’s something on your mind, right? And you want to share it with me, otherwise you wouldn’t have asked me to come.” A minute of eerie silence, then his partner closed his eyes, legs swinging in a way that almost seemed nervous. Before Dazai could even attempt to coax an answer out of the other, Chuuya beat him to it.
“What were you gonna say?” Dazai raised a confused eyebrow at the rushed words. “What I was gonna say?” Chuuya grumbled something under his breath about mackerels having bad hearing “‘ Our fate will not end in a place like this. Because you and I are destined to- ’ And then I shot you. Well, ‘shot’ you. What was gonna be the end of that sentence?” Dazai’s eyes widened slightly and he grinned. “Y’know, if Chibi had waited just a few more seconds, he might’ve figured it out~” Chuuya once again looked more than ready to push him into the water.
“Not like I had a choice!” He complained, accompanied by a glare. “That rat was watching and it would’ve raised suspicion if I had hesitated more. Had to keep the performance up until he left to get outside. And then you just wouldn’t elaborate!” Dazai hummed a silent agreement. “I suppose I forgot about it~ What a shame~” He replied. Chuuya retaliated with the least friendly smack to the taller’s shoulder one could’ve given. “How did the genius forget about his unfinished emotional speech to attempt rescuing his partner from a vampire curse?! Tsk. Should’ve never called you out here, knowing that this would be the answer.”
Another hum. Dazai turned over to look right into Chuuya’s unfairly pretty eyes. They held some form of genuine interest in the answer that made Dazai’s heart do a funny jump. Before he could cave in and speak from his heart though, he instead opted for the less obvious version that wouldn’t leave his emotions as raw and uncovered.
“What do you think was what I was gonna say?”
Chuuya could do it. He knew Chuuya could do it. Knew that Chuuya could very well read Dazai’s mind as well as Dazai could read Chuuya’s. The redhead seemed to contemplate the words for a moment.
Death. It had been something Dazai craved for the longest time. A peaceful ending to the hell that was his so-called ‘life’. However, since the day he met the short idiot next to him in Suribachi City, when they were both just kids who had to grow up way too fast, something in his life had shifted.
Something about Chuuya fascinated him from the moment they met. What exactly it was, not even the genius himself could tell. But, he’d felt drawn to Chuuya, like their connection ran deeper than rivals, friendship, even deeper than love itself. They both felt it, Dazai knew that. As much as they may deny it, pretend to hate each other, throw insults at each other, nothing could ever shatter their bond. It had long since ingrained itself into the very essence of their existence.
Chuuya’d always been Dazai’s motivation to go on. To try a little harder. To live a little longer. Even if just to one-up each other over and over again.
If it weren’t for Chuuya, Dazai was certain he wouldn’t be alive anymore.
And if Chuuya were to die, Dazai was certain he’d follow right after. Just like the other way around.
It took him back, these thoughts, to the events surrounding the mass suicides. Or rather: The gifted getting hunted down by their own abilities. Back then - it wasn’t even that long ago - Chuuya had activated corruption, fully trusting that Dazai was alive and knew a way out. If Dazai had died that day, he would’ve taken Chuuya right down to hell with him. As without Dazai, Arahabaki would eat away the redhead’s life force till none was left. Certain death. And, Chuuya had been fine with that.
To die with Dazai. Both of them. Together.
For as much fuss as Dazai made around flirting with women and asking them to join him for a double suicide, he was well aware such a thing would never happen. If he were to die with anyone next to him, it’d be Chuuya. It had always been Chuuya.
In his lowest moments when he’d hit rock bottom, when life felt even more worthless than usual, as long as he let him, it was Chuuya who stood by him. Had been since they were teenagers. Chuuya was the one to pick him up when he was down, to bring him home after dangerous missions, to treat his wounds and scold him for reckless behavior, to stick around to make sure he was recovering. Dazai did all the same. Rescue him, protect him, care for him. They were a duo. A team. They were partners in life and death and everything in between. And no amount of separation would change that.
If the 4 years apart after Dazai left the Port Mafia couldn’t break them, then what could?
Till death tears them apart. Literally. And even in death, Dazai was certain his and Chuuya’s ghosts would be stuck together in the afterlife, annoying each other for all of eternity till there was nothing left of the universe and beyond. And even then, they’d still yell insults at each other.
It was a nice thing to imagine.
We’re gonna be together forever, I just know it.
A rush of cold wind pulled him out of his thoughts. Next to him, Chuuya shivered. In a practiced motion, so fluid it was solid proof of how many times it happened, Dazai’s arm snuck around the smaller’s shoulders, pulling him into his side. Chuuya didn’t resist at all, simply pressed himself closer to his partner, mixing their shared body heat into one. Dazai stole Chuuya’s hat, held it safely and plopped his own head on his partner’s, nuzzling into his soft hair. Chuuya’s hand came up to rest on top of Dazai’s, their fingers interlacing, resting over the former’s heart.
No words were spoken. But Dazai knew Chuuya understood.
—
The two didn’t move for hours. Simply sitting there, in a comfortable hug till their limbs fell asleep and more and more of the city lights went out at the late hour. A sideways glance to his phone. 3:24 AM.
“Shall we head back? It’s getting cold and I’m tired.” Dazai broke the silence, Chuuya glanced up at him and gave him a nod, freeing himself from the other’s arms to stretch. Dazai lamented the loss of the warm body against his own, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be long till he could have him back. Chuuya got up, holding out his hand. Dazai took it.
It was an unspoken agreement, that they left to walk in the same direction rather than split up and go opposing ways. It wasn’t like Dazai had anyone wait for him at his ‘home’. He’d much rather be with Chuuya. Chuuya, who was much more of a home than any of his residences, ever.
The walk didn’t take long, and soon they arrived at the building that housed Chuuya’s apartment - A penthouse overlooking the entire city. Mafiosi and their paychecks… Dazai wasn’t jealous. After all, Chuuya’s home had always been his home as well. In more ways than just a place to sleep and exist.
Chuuya unlocked the door and only let go of Dazai’s hand once inside, shrugging off his coat and shoes. Dazai did the same. They were both tired and being in the presence of one another felt safe, which was why it didn’t take long to get to bed. As they both changed into their sleeping clothes, neither of them mentioned that Chuuya had about half of his closet filled with things that were much closer to Dazai’s size than his own. They also didn’t mention that neither of them even bothered asking where to sleep and simply flopped onto Chuuya’s bed together. Like a routine, established when they were 15, unchanging even at 22.
The two laid on the bed, silently looking into each other’s eyes, as though waiting for something.
“Hey, Osamu?” No nickname, no insult, just a first name spoken with the softest voice to exist.
“Hm, Chuu?”
“Do me a favor and don’t let yourself get killed by anyone who isn’t me.”
Dazai blinked. Once. Twice. Chuuya blushed, cheeks darkening with each passing second.
“I won’t let anyone take that win from me, you hear me!” Chuuya quickly continued, voice defensive. Dazai laughed. Chuuya was just adorable. He moved closer, their noses nearly touching.
“Chibi~ Are you trying to talk me out of doing a double suicide with a beautiful woman? What do I see hereee~ Is it perhaps.. Jealousy?” He smirked at the obvious tease. Chuuya hit him. Dazai broke out into laughter, Chuuya joining in shortly after. They laughed and giggled and once they calmed down, they pressed their foreheads together.
“Maybe it is~ Maybe I want nobody else to commit to this double suicide with you.” Dazai gasped. “Is that… Chuuya agreeing he’ll be my double suicide partner?!”, “NO! Asshole! Nobody’s committing suicide!”, “Buuuut~”, “NOPE. Nope. I’m not having this. We’re not doing this. Besides, didn’t you say dying with or by me doesn’t interest you?” Dazai pouted and gently bit his partner’s nose who squeaked in protest and surprise. They messed around, and bickered, gradually messing up and twisting their sheets only to end up even closer than before. Slowly, the chaos calmed down. But the two still stayed exactly like that.
“Say, Chuuya…” Dazai made an effort to make his voice sound more serious. “Hm?” The tired redhead replied, eyes already half closed with exhaustion. “What brought this all up? Y’know, telling me not to die, saying you want to be the only one to kill me, etc…” There it was again: Chuuya’s beautiful blush. And with the blush, an honesty that somehow managed to shock Dazai.
“I’ve been thinking these past days. How you were imprisoned, poisoned, drowned, shot, heavily injured, supposedly killed. That rat was a dangerous person. And even though you still outsmarted him, still got out there victorious, it worries me. What if there are more people like that? How many more will try to end you before you can have even a bit of a peaceful life? That’s why.. I want you to promise me that you’ll never let anybody kill you. Besides me, of course, it is still my lifelong mission. But, nobody else is allowed to.”
I was thinking about you.
I was worried about you.
I care about you.
I want you to live.
I want you to be happy.
I want you to be safe.
I want to stick around for all your life.
Chuuya’s care was subtle. But Dazai was great at understanding his subtlety. Great at reading between the lines and understanding what his partner was trying to convey, no matter what. A nudge of their noses, a soft smile, warm arms wrapping around the executive’s small frame.
“Then, Chuuya will just have to stick around and protect me forever and ever~ He has to go on missions with me, has to live with me, has to spend time with me… I have lots of enemies~ I’ll need lots of protection. But, I’ve always trusted my guard dog to keep me safe.” For once, Chuuya didn’t give him a disgusted expression at being referred to as a dog.
“...How do you think Mori would react to Soukoku officially being back in action?” Dazai contemplated. “He’d be absolutely delighted for sure. We’d… Just have to establish which side we’re fighting on. Probably. I mean- We do have a truce but still-” Chuuya replied.
“How about we fight on our own side then. We operate together whenever danger comes up, help each other, and if it comes to more conflict between the Agency and the Port Mafia, we’ll make sure not to attack and rather protect each other~ That okay?~” Dazai suggested. “I’d like that.” Chuuya agreed. Then, after a short moment of silence…
“...Welcome back, partner~”
A warm feeling spread through Dazai’s chest at Chuuya’s gentle words. Sure, they’d worked together these past months, since the incident with the Guild, but having Chuuya openly call him his partner again? It was everything and more.
He must’ve stared at Chuuya in some insane way, because his face was reddening rapidly. “W-WHAT’RE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT FOR, SHITTY DAZAI?!” Dazai blinked. “Like- what?” Chuuya slowly started resembling a tomato. “Like- that - Adoration? Fondness? Whatever it is, get it away from me!” Dazai choked out a surprised laugh at how embarrassed his dear chibi was.
“Well, maybe I do adore you then~ A lot more than you might think. But… You should know me, Chibi~ And if you know me, you should know that, correct? If not… I’ll just have to tell you until you do!” Chuuya, still flustered and in disbelief, barely managed to spit out a “What–” Dazai sighed and leaned back to lock their eyes, hands coming up to rest on Chuuya’s cheeks.
“Really, do I gotta spell it out for you? Sure then~” A long pause, fond eye contact…
“I love you, Chuuya. That clear?–”
He didn’t get much further. Chuuya yanked him close and pressed their lips together, stealing the words directly from his mouth. After barely a second of reaction time, Dazai was kissing back. Soft, and gentle, yet with passion following 7 years of pining. It wasn’t the first time they kissed - An undercover job that had them act as a couple… A vulnerable moment late during a sleepless night after a difficult mission… Little moments of comfort just for them… - but this was different, far different. This was just the two of them, aware of the feelings they held since the moment they met, finally properly acting on them. And it was perfect.
Eventually, they had to pull away due to a lack of oxygen, yet still held each other just as close.
“...For the record: I love you too, shitty Dazai.”
“Way to insult your lovely boyfriend just after your ‘first’ official kiss!”
“WHEN DID I AGREE TO BEING YOUR BOYFRIEND?!”
“We confessed our love for one another yet you don’t want to be my boyfriend? How cruel, Chibi-chan!”
“HAH?!”
Dazai went all out into pouting mode, burying his face in the pillow, making Chuuya groan in frustration. “...C’mon, mackerel, you know I didn’t mean it like that.” Dazai sniffled and peeked out from his hiding place. “...Does that mean Chibi does want to be my boyfriend?!” Chuuya rolled his eyes with a disgusting amount of fondness he’d curse any other couple he’d ever seen for.
“Sure. If my boyfriend stops pouting and kisses me again, that is.”
Dazai was all too happy to oblige, pulling him in to share another soft kiss.
That night, a mafia executive and a detective agency member slept, entangled in their sheets and each other, with no distance in between. And if, from then on, it started being just about impossible to find them apart, reminiscent of their time with the Port Mafia, well, that was for their respective bosses to develop headaches over. The two lovers really couldn’t care less.