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Love wasn’t an emotion Jedi were supposed to feel. Well, that wasn’t strictly true. Friendly, comradely, brothers-in-arms love was what helped keep people alive on the battlefield. Unselfish, honest love that wanted what was best for others was what fuelled the Jedi to make the galaxy a better place. The love for the Force and within the Force for other living things helped to bind them together and work as one toward their shared goal.
Except none of these were what Obi-Wan was feeling. He sat in his room in a meditation pose, attempting to breathe slowly and calmly as he walked through the mindfulness exercises he had learned in the Temple. He was here, now, both grounded in the Force and able to view himself objectively. He was a mediator, a general, and a soldier when necessary. He was a Jedi Master, who could see the ebbs and flows of emotion in the waves of the Force.
And he was in love with his former best friend’s ex-wife.
Well. Technically she wasn’t divorced yet, although a husband turning to the dark side would be enough reason to sever your marriage ties in Obi-Wan’s opinion. Either way, that wasn’t the point. The point was that he was in love and that was the problem.
With a sigh, he abandoned his attempts at meditation. Finding a calm answer in the Force wasn’t going to happen, especially not since he was considering breaking one of the core tenants of his teaching. Wasn’t this what had made Anakin fall in the first place? Maybe he’d follow him after all, the same flaw hurtling them both into the dark side face first.
A tapping at the door interrupted his train of thought just before he started pondering at what point exactly on the platonic to romantic scale the Force considered to be crossing the line. Obi-Wan opened the door to find a droid with a message. It was from Padme, because the Force loved nothing more than to torment him, requesting his presence in her chambers. He thanked the droid and started down the hall.
Since surviving both Anakin on Mustafar and her twins’ birth, Padme was weakened, but no less determined to fight. Obi-Wan still served as her bodyguard in their safe house on Alderaan, and between the proposed assassination plots and the plans to overthrow Palpatine and restore the Senate, he suspected Qui-Gon was laughing at him from beyond the grave.
Entering the Amidala family’s suite, he stopped. Leia was floating. She was frowning, a look of concentration on her face that was too old for her young features, and hovering in the air a few inches above Padme’s lap.
Obi-Wan slammed the door shut, and stepped forward to look at the floating baby. “This is extraordinary,” he said, awe-struck.
“That would be why I sent for you,” Padme said dryly, a smile tugging at her lips.
“And here I thought it was just for my charming personality,” Obi-Wan remarked sardonically, taking another step forward.
Padme started to begin a sentence, but stopped when a feeling of it’s not fair swept through the room. It was so strong Obi-Wan could almost hear the words in his head. Right on cue, both he and Padme turned to look at the other infant sitting on the floor. Luke was staring at all three of them, scowling.
“Well,” Obi-Wan said. “I suppose that answers that question.”
Padme sighed, picking Leia out of the air and placing her on the floor. “Go play,” she instructed the twins. “ Gently, ” she added, looking at Leia.
The twins busied themselves with the blocks on the floor a few feet away from the sofa where Padme was sitting. She sighed, and looked up at Obi-Wan. “I was afraid of this. Now he’ll be able to sense them.”
“Not if we train them.” The words were out before Obi-Wan could stop himself.
“It would have to be you,” Padme pointed out, “and I don’t want to force you to stay here for longer than necessary.”
“What?” Obi-Wan knew they had discussed his leaving eventually. He just didn’t know it was such a high priority.
“You’re on the top of his hit list. So am I. So are they, once he finds out they exist,” Padme looked over at the twins and then at Obi-Wan. “It’s too big of a target.”
“I’m not leaving,” Obi-Wan said, sitting on the sofa next to Padme.
Her lips thinned. “You can’t stay here.”
“Where am I going to go?”
“Somewhere remote. The Outer Rim, Tattooine, I don’t care!” she snapped. “But you need to leave!”
Obi-Wan stared at her. The strength that had led her people into battle and back out of it again shone through in her eyes. “I’m staying,” he said. The next sentence felt like it was dragged out of the depths where only the Force could see. “I care about you too much not to.”
There weren’t many things that could take a Queen and senator off guard. This, apparently, was one of them. “You what?”
“I’m not leaving,” Obi-Wan repeated. “I care about you. I – I love you.” He hadn’t felt this foolish since before he became a padawan. This was going against all the rules, defying all logic. But it was true, and truth had to be spoken.
Padme smiled, and reached out to touch his hand. “I was wondering when you’d admit it.”
“Wait, what?” Obi-Wan knew the Force had to be laughing at him. “I just told you something that goes against every one of the ancient laws and you knew already?”
“If anyone knows what a lovesick Jedi is, it’s me,” Padme deadpanned.
“I’m nothing like him!” Obi-Wan snapped, his tone so sharp that the twins looked up from their playing.
“No, but you are a lot like Anakin,” Padme said gently. She moved her other hand to his shoulder. “Speaking of, you seem to have taught him more than lightsaber skills.”
“Believe me,” Obi-Wan chuckled, “I taught him everything he ever learned.”
The waves he had been feeling in the Force seemed to have finally stilled as he leaned in for a kiss.