Chapter Text
Sheldon was a consummate professional. That’s what he truly believed. But others had… differing opinions.
Mid-morning on a Tuesday, Sheldon was called to Dr. Gablehauser’s office like an errant child. The conversation, no, more like demand, had been an embarrassment. Dr. Gablehauser was hiring him a secretary, a keeper, a... a-!
“But I don’t require a secretary! I make extensive notes and always answer my phone,” Sheldon insisted, crossing his arms.
“Perhaps,” Gablehauser agreed tepidly. “Perhaps what you really need is a nanny, or a caretaker, maybe a nurse, but a secretary is as good as it gets.”
Sheldon colored. “If this is about the incident in the mailroom last week...”
“It’s about that, and the incident three weeks ago with staff in the canteen, and four months ago with that undergrad, and I could continue... or I could hire a minimum wage secretary to handle you on behalf of everyone else. That at least would stop the HR complaints.”
“You wouldn’t be able to hire one that would stand me,” Sheldon responsed smugly, feeling mildly ashamed that he could feel smug about being a complete ass.
“Actually, I think I already have. She applied a few days ago and came at a very strong recommendation from one of your colleagues. Says she is friends with your group of merry misfits.”
“No,” Sheldon said, voice full of mortification. He recalled with intense clarity how Leonard had badgered Penny into applying for the open position at the CalTech offices, desperate for her to be within his vicinity at all times. Frantic, even, to have beautiful and symmetrical Penny be his ‘office bunny’ as Howard had called it.
Sheldon did not want to work with Penny .
“Yes,” Gablehauser replied condescendingly, smiling. “She’ll start work on Monday.”
-
Penny had arrived that Monday twenty minutes late, despite having been offered to carpool with himself and Leonard numerous times. She showed up to his office wearing denim cutoffs and flip flops, her appearance signaling that she cared very little about the situation, and she’d sat at the desk provided for her like she was the one with the name placard.
Irksome. Incredibly irksome. Of course, that was Penny to a T.
She was a fairly decent secretary, after her particularly bad start. She answered his phones and took messages, made him tea when he requested, and was shockingly well versed with Excel. It was just... the endearments...
Hon, sweetie, darling, moonpie ... It was embarrassing. He was a doctor for Christ’s sake, not a child. He was so tired people treating him like a child.
Sheldon attempted to remind her of that fact many times. Penny, as per usual, had not a care in the world.
“You may be a Doctor, but you’re still sweetie to me.” She smiled. His coworkers had been loitering in the halls at that moment and had happily jeered at him from afar. Good god, no no one would take him seriously.
So he then took the matter to Dr. Gablehauser.
“That is an egregious offense,” Gablehauser replied, his lack of care evident in his tone. “I will have Stacy send her a note about it. We can’t have you looking unprofessional .”
Sheldon stormed out of the office with a nearly painful scowl upon his face.
The next morning, Penny was in a right state. She slammed her coffee down, she battered her files, she left his door open repeatedly, and she wouldn’t look at him. Sheldon had been on the receiving end of Penny’s ire many times, but it had never felt so threatening. Perhaps because they were at work...
His friends, especially Leonard, had chastised him for reprimanding Penny as he had. It wasn’t what friends did, they said. Penny wasn’t his friend while in the office, though. Couldn’t they see that? She was a representative of his position at the university. He couldn’t have a secretary in denim shorts calling him hon all the time.
Sure, getting her in trouble with Gablehauser wasn’t entirely fair, especially considering no one else in the blasted school took him seriously either. Very few people referred to him by any sort of respectful honorific. So it was a surprise when she finally started doing it.
Sheldon had not anticipated her acquiescence. Not at all.
“You’ve got a phone call on line 2, Dr. Cooper ,” Penny grit out from her desk, making her displeasure clear. Sheldon’s hand hovered over his phone as he digested it. Her tone mattered little, it still... unnerved him. It enraptured him.
“Your lunch, Dr.,” Penny frowned, tossing the styrofoam container to his desk carelessly, then turned and slammed the door as she exited without preamble. Sheldon should scold her, yell at her, write her up, but...
He loved it. Loved hearing it. He practically basked in it.
Over time the bite of Penny’s tone cooled, as the sting of his initial reprimand faded into the background of their lives as their spats always had. She now greeted him as Dr. Cooper with familiarity instead of derision, and it became the singular reason for Sheldon’s repeated tardiness. Penny didn’t arrive at his office until 9:10, and typically Sheldon would abhor arriving late for his own post, however... He could not miss the opportunity to walk past her desk and see her smiling face, her eyes flicking up in acknowledgment, her morning greeting delivered in varying tones dependent on Penny’s many moods.
“Good morning, Dr. Cooper.”
And it never got old.