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Lelouch reverently handed Suzaku the Zero mask. “As promised.”
Suzaku grasped the mask with both hands. It felt lighter than he’d anticipated, especially after Lelouch had complained so often about its heaviness. It also felt fragile, like he could shatter the mask with his bare hands. It meant a lot, in that case, that Lelouch was entrusting the Zero mask to Suzaku without hesitation. Turning the mask over, feeling the hard edges from different angles, Suzaku traced the outline of the helmet with a single finger. It was nothing but glass and plastic, but as a symbol of revolution, it carried the hopes of the oppressed people. Suzaku was aware of the honor it was to wear it, and he was further aware of the depravity shadowing his current intentions.
Chuckling, Lelouch dragged Suzaku towards him for a deep kiss. The mask separated them in the middle, but their bodies curved around it on either side like two halves of a broken whole. Amazingly enough, they’d taken a formerly divisive iconic artifact and turned it into something shared between them. Twilight seeped into the bedroom around the edges of the curtains, but time ceased to hold meaning in the electrifying rush of their embrace. Lelouch’s hands wandered as their tongues tangled, attending to their too-many clothes, and Suzaku whimpered his encouragement. Pulling back with a sigh, Lelouch murmured, “That, I will miss.”
“The mask?” Suzaku asked aimlessly, pulling his prince back in. He wasn’t truthfully paying attention, but it couldn’t be helped when he had Lelouch in his arms.
Lelouch indulged him properly before angling away with a demon smirk, the shadows from the low lamplight playing across his face. “Kissing you, idiot.”
“We are kissing,” Suzaku cheekily pointed out, leaning in to once again capture Lelouch’s plump lips.
Lelouch immediately returned his greedy kisses before taking a step back, pushing the Zero mask snugly against Suzaku’s chest. “Kissing is about to be neutralized,” he explained, though his violet eyes shone with barely suppressed excitement for the tasks ahead. “I regrettably didn’t factor in kissing functionality when designing my costume. Such is hindsight…”
Suzaku snorted as he shrugged off his unbuttoned shirt, still cradling the Zero mask against his bare breast. It was cold to the touch, yet thrilling. “Shame you won’t be able to stare into my eyes either. You like that.”
“I do,” Lelouch admitted, lightly flicking Suzaku’s forehead. “That one, I have a partial solution for.”
Cocking his head, Suzaku wondered, “What do you mean?”
With that goddamn superior smirk, Lelouch ignored him in favor of whipping out the Zero cape and intimately fastening it around Suzaku’s naked torso. Then, busying himself with removing Suzaku’s pants and underwear, Lelouch inhaled sharply as Suzaku’s Black Knights tattoo emerged into view. Tracing his fingers along Suzaku’s inked loyalty, like he’d done every sexual encounter since his birthday, Lelouch knelt before Suzaku and nuzzled into his lower abdomen. Then, staring up into Suzaku’s eyes like he so preferred (like they both preferred), Lelouch took Suzaku in his mouth.
Gasping at the rush of wet heat, Suzaku hurriedly dropped the Zero mask, wincing at the loud clank on the wooden floorboards, and twisted his fingers into Lelouch’s fine hair. The familiar bedroom faded away, and his focus narrowed to a single point of mind-numbing pleasure. “Le-Lelouch…”
Still calmly smirking, Lelouch never broke eye contact as he methodically sucked Suzaku to full hardness.
The Zero cape rustled as Suzaku’s shoulders trembled. He spiraled.
Lelouch pulled off with a slight pop, his lips shiny and his eyes glinting with smug satisfaction. He peered up at Suzaku from the floor with a half-mast expression, his fingers idly sliding along Suzaku’s now saliva-slicked tattoo. “Happy birthday, My Black Knight.”
Suzaku swallowed. The shivers rocketed throughout his whole body, and he was pinned by Lelouch’s intense stare. It might have been Lelouch kneeling for Suzaku, but Suzaku was the one following Lelouch’s lead. Like always. Falling to his knees, barely missing the forgotten Zero mask, Suzaku tugged Lelouch into his arms. Like every other time, it felt like the simple home of sunflowers and cicadas. “You’re incredible.”
“We’ve barely started,” Lelouch scoffed, turning to hide a light blush.
Suzaku stroked Lelouch’s chin and guided him back. Staring deeply into Lelouch’s eyes, his heart pounding at their connection vibrating in the air, Suzaku breathed, “You’re still incredible.”
Their kiss that time was soft and gentle, despite being on their knees for one another, despite Suzaku’s nakedness, despite their matching erections as they pressed together. Suzaku wrapped the Zero cape around them both as they exchanged life-replenishing kisses. He was overheating, his blood hot at the potent taste and touch and smell of Lelouch, but Suzaku lived for this all-consuming fire. It sustained him.
Lelouch moaned in telltale gratification.
Suzaku broke away only because he needed more. Patience never had been his strong suit, and Lelouch had always been such a slowpoke. Tugging insistently at Lelouch’s remaining clothes, Suzaku begged, “Aren’t you going to take these off?”
Lelouch chuckled deeply again, swatting Suzaku away. Pressing the abandoned Zero mask back into Suzaku’s hands, Lelouch tsked, “You must play the part. How would I—rather, how would Zero move things to the next stage?”
Suzaku playfully rolled his eyes, but he conceded that Lelouch had a point, if the jolt behind his navel was anything to go by. Straightening with forced purpose, he yanked the sensational cape into a more comfortable fit and—for the first time—donned the corresponding mask. At once, he felt a rush of self-importance, but maybe that was just a self-fulfilling prophecy; he expected it after watching Lelouch work his magic in the mask. Even with the ego trip, it took some adjustment, seeing the world through a haze of tinted purple. Lelouch’s matching violet eyes stood out as especially prominent, and Suzaku’s breath caught at how striking his boyfriend always was. It was hard to regain crucial air within the confines of the mask, but maybe it was just that Lelouch always stole his breath away. Sliding gracefully to his feet, careful to balance the new weight encompassing his head, Suzaku towered over Lelouch’s appreciative figure. Then, looking down at Lelouch’s rapt expression, Suzaku commanded, “Get naked.”
Lelouch frowned, his eyebrows furrowing as he offered critique. “The pose and tone were good, but that’s not what I’d—what Zero would say. Think, Suzaku. Zero has a way with words.”
Suzaku’s boyish groan echoed from the mask, decidedly un-Zero. “Lelouch, when you said I could fuck you while wearing the Zero mask, I didn’t think you meant you wanted me to play the actual role.”
“If you wear the mask, you play the part,” Lelouch said with a haughty sniff, tossing his head. “That’s just how it is. I don’t make the rules.”
Suzaku snorted, amused. Lelouch’s sass was part of his charm. As was his carefully controlled power. That said, power he frequently invited Suzaku to challenge in the natural give-and-take of their relationship. “But you do.”
“Fine,” Lelouch agreed pleasantly. “Then I’m making the rule that you’re Zero for tonight.”
“This was supposed to be my birthday present,” Suzaku whined. As soon as the immature words escaped him, he bit his bottom lip in embarrassment and silently blessed the mask for hiding his reaction. Impulse control had never been his strength either. Besides, maybe it was his birthday, but sex between them had always been about their mutual desires.
Lelouch fondled Suzaku’s balls in wordless placation and his next words seemed somewhat distracted, even as he doubled down. “No, no. Zero is much too sophisticated to whine. Redo it.”
Feeling another whimper clawing to escape his clenched teeth at Lelouch’s teasing, Suzaku gathered himself and leaned over Lelouch. It was hard to think properly when Lelouch was kneeling for Suzaku’s sake, caressing Suzaku’s twitching cock, and staring up at Suzaku with a classic mix of sharp intelligence and bedroom eyes. Expectant. Suzaku so hated to disappoint. Wanting to make this a rewarding experience for his boyfriend, Suzaku cast his mind to the past several months of working with Lelouch-as-Zero. It always tickled Suzaku to see Lelouch get in-character, but now in the proverbial spotlight, Suzaku developed a deeper appreciation for the role Lelouch had so skillfully crafted.
Then again, Zero hadn’t been conceived to partake in sex games.
That gave Suzaku some creative leeway.
Feeling a bit foolish, Suzaku pushed one arm forward in a sad mimicry of Zero’s dramatic gestures. It felt odd to aimlessly move his limbs without any intent to fight; there was something missing, not having a target to strike with such carefully planned movements. “Lelouch vi Britannia,” Suzaku boomed, pleased when Lelouch’s eyes flashed with interest. “Eleventh prince of the Holy Britannian Empire and First Britannian Royal of Morals,” Suzaku continued, setting up the scene with a recap speech reminiscent of Zero’s modus operandi and granting his prince a new title worthy of his perceived character. “You traveled to Japan as a political hostage and summarily perished before achieving anything of great value. However, that history was a lie. In truth, you faked your death and built a rebellion in the shadows, winning the hearts of the Japanese people.” Suzaku pressed a fist over his own rapidly beating heart as he extended his free hand down to Lelouch in invitation. “Winning the heart of this Japanese,” Suzaku murmured earnestly, his devotion echoing around the bedroom from the Zero mask’s amplifiers.
Lelouch visibly swallowed, overcome with silent emotion, and placed his hand in Suzaku’s—as he’d done ever since they were children.
Congratulating himself on sounding enough like Zero to appease the original, Suzaku gently pulled Lelouch to his feet. It was starting to become fun, playing his boyfriend’s alter-ego. Maybe Lelouch had been onto something, just like when he’d been right about his rebellion—and when he’d encouraged Suzaku to embrace his inner darkness, and Suzaku had consequently procured improved satisfaction with his own life now that he wasn’t constantly lying about himself, to himself. “With your proven genius and resolve, it is clear that we should join forces. Do you agree to serve me, Lelouch?”
Though amusement played across Lelouch’s face, he managed a solemn nod.
Suzaku grinned in triumph behind the mask and swished the cape in a gloriously grand gesture. He was finding his footing in this new situation as Zero, pulling from Lelouch’s own speech patterns and mannerisms, and his performance was a testament to how well he knew his boyfriend. “The first task at hand is to rid you of unnecessary burdens,” Suzaku said, tugging meaningfully at Lelouch’s clothes. Then, without giving Lelouch a chance to comply, Suzaku began the too-complicated process of undressing him; Lelouch smirked and joined in, resulting in more efficient results as they worked in tandem. Mouth going dry at the sight of Lelouch bare and ready for him, his cock standing at attention, Suzaku said huskily, “Well then. Use route A7 to approach the target location. Move out.” He nodded at the bed with his chin, feeling sweat slide down his face and neck. Was it getting too hot?
Still smirking, Lelouch made an expeditious beeline for the bed and flopped temptingly onto the mess of mattress and blankets. “Yes, Lord Zero.”
Suzaku followed as if pulled by destiny, and he clambered over Lelouch’s body with singing nerves. The bed dipped under his weight as he slung one leg over Lelouch’s hip, and Suzaku took note of the shining love in Lelouch’s eyes, obvious even through the mask’s filters. The Zero cape fell around them, cocooning them in a secluded bubble, and Suzaku wished for this moment to last forever. If only the world could stop interfering with their relationship; Lelouch alone was everything Suzaku needed.
That was a big reason why Suzaku had come around and embraced Lelouch’s rebellion. Fighting Zero hadn’t been worth losing Lelouch, the person who made Suzaku’s heart beat with love and purpose. That, and Suzaku’s own plan to change the Britannian system from within was going nowhere once he’d reached the glass ceiling of being Princess Euphemia’s knight. The progress he’d hoped for hadn’t spread, especially with Viceroy Cornelia in charge (let alone Emperor Charles zi Britannia), and Suzaku had eventually been forced to face his own false pretenses after being ordered to execute his beloved childhood mentor. He’d never had an actual plan to change the system from within. He’d been lucky to be discovered as a Knightmare pilot, and he’d been lucky that Princess Euphemia recognized his talent. That was as far as his hypocrisy could take him. If he was serious about helping Japan instead of simply feeding his death wish, then Lelouch’s way was the only one with ongoing merit. Suzaku inwardly winced at how long it had taken him to realize the common sense Lelouch had been preaching all along.
Still, his change of heart was better late than never, and together, he and Lelouch could do anything. He’d seen it firsthand when he’d pledged himself to Zero, when they’d begun performing secret missions together. He still didn’t always understand how Lelouch pulled off his famous miracles, but Suzaku trusted him. Even though there remained something Lelouch obviously wasn’t telling him, Suzaku forced himself not to be bothered by it. He’d chosen Zero, ultimately, and all that entailed. Spending time with Zero, Suzaku admitted that he'd often misjudged Lelouch’s rebel leader persona. Maybe it was due to all the Britannian propaganda he’d been immersed in. The important thing was that he’d broken free and seen the light. Joining forces with Lelouch had only brought the two of them closer than ever, and Suzaku was surprised to find along the way that he had no regrets, even with the mysteries still punctuating their relationship. Such was Lelouch’s allure and power. Suzaku would do anything for Lelouch, the man who gave him a new reason to live.
Bracing himself over Lelouch, Suzaku stared down at his prince and cursed the mask; he wanted nothing more than to kiss Lelouch into a boneless mess beneath him. Instead, he thought of how Lelouch saw the real him, loved the real him, and Suzaku was overcome with gratitude. He wanted nothing more than to make sure Lelouch felt the same. Remembering how Lelouch had sexily flung himself onto the bed, he gave due credit. “That was an impressive maneuver.”
Lelouch slid his hands over Suzaku’s shoulders under the cape, leaving goosebumps in the wake of his touch. “I aim to please.”
“Excellent. Continue,” Suzaku ordered, biting back the “please” that wanted to escape. Zero wouldn’t say it. Then, shifting above his waiting boyfriend, Suzaku asked in a leader’s businesslike tone, “Did you obtain the necessary resources?”
Lelouch’s eyes narrowed with determination. “Everything has been satisfactorily prepared, Lord Zero. I await my next instructions.”
Suzaku swallowed a gasp, fighting another overbearing urge to kiss Lelouch—who was now definitely playing the role of a lowly Black Knight kissing Zero’s ass. Suzaku wasn’t even the real Zero, and he still couldn’t deny the heat coiling in his belly at his (fake) subordinate’s subservient attitude. The fact that it was Lelouch, who was always in control otherwise, only made it sweeter. Suzaku raked his gaze over his boyfriend, fighting a fresh wave of want upon noticing Lelouch’s peaked nipples awaiting attention. “We’ll commence with a full frontal attack at these two coordinates,” Suzaku briefed him before pinching those hard nubs, making sure his moves were appropriately forceful to elicit the desired reaction.
He got it: Lelouch gasped and twisted amidst the bed sheets, hissing furiously, “What a dirty, underhanded tactic.” He paused. “Remarkably effective. Well-played, Lord Zero.”
At his praise, Suzaku brimmed with pride. “I know all,” he boasted. He especially knew everything about Lelouch. That made it easy to plan success. “Follow my every command,” Suzaku growled, slowly rutting his hips against Lelouch’s, “and your obedience will be rewarded.”
Lelouch’s mouth fell open as he spread his legs under Suzaku, letting himself be pressed deep into the mattress. “As you wish, Lord Zero.”
Blood thrumming, Suzaku reached for the pre-stashed lubricant under the pillow and got to work preparing his boyfriend for the main mission. Slipping one lubed-up finger into Lelouch, Suzaku continued breathlessly, “The intent of this operation is to achieve mind-blowing orgasm.”
Violet eyes gleaming with yet more laughter, Lelouch nodded shakily and clutched Suzaku’s shoulder blades as he was skillfully fingered open. “A commendable objective,” he hissed, squirming deliciously beneath Suzaku. Lelouch’s face flew through a series of ever-changing expressions that Suzaku had come to expect from him during this stage of sex: discomfort and annoyance slowly morphing into bliss and want, especially when Suzaku capitalized on that one strategic spot.
Suzaku counted it as an early victory when Lelouch forgot his subsidiary Black Knights role to serve his master and succumbed to a string of high-pitched moans, meaning Suzaku had shattered Lelouch’s prized self-control even without the use of his cock. Pleased with himself, and turned on further at the proof of bringing his boyfriend such profound pleasure, Suzaku shifted into position and guided himself into Lelouch. It had been too long.
With tears of overwhelm springing to life in the corners of his eyes, Lelouch reached up and tenderly cupped the Zero mask.
Suzaku’s heart stuttered at the loving motion, and he stared down at Lelouch through the mask and wished there wasn’t this layer between them. He almost ripped the mask off, even though it was what he’d wanted to experiment with, because he was dying to stare at Lelouch without the overlay of purple glass coloring his experience. As if sensing Suzaku’s desire, Lelouch smiled—not smirked—up at him and calmly slid his palm to some hidden button nestled in the contours of the Zero mask. Shock rippled through Suzaku as a secret compartment suddenly slipped open in front of his left eye, allowing him to view Lelouch without obstruction. “What’s this?”
Chuckling, Lelouch focused on Suzaku’s single exposed eye and murmured, “I told you I had a partial solution.” At Suzaku’s confused grunt, Lelouch explained, “About being able to look into each other’s eyes during sex, I mean, like we usually do.”
Suzaku nodded repeatedly, feeling the Zero mask slip a bit from the hectic movement. One hand sought Lelouch’s as he finished pushing himself inside, and he delighted at Lelouch’s delicious gasp-moan and the way Lelouch’s fingers tightened affectionately around Suzaku’s own. It was another of their evolving traditions, and Suzaku would never let go. He sighed, wishing again that he could kiss Lelouch like he typically did at this stage, but he pushed that yearning down for the time-being. There was a time and a place for such indulgences, and he would ravish Lelouch’s lips once they’d achieved their primary goal. It had been Suzaku’s own idea to wear the Zero mask during sex, after all, and he would see it through to the end—no matter the inconvenient aspects.
Overall, Suzaku had been working on taking responsibility for his decisions. Even when, upon reflection, they weren’t the best decisions. Dating Lelouch had helped him grow.
Lelouch’s eyelids fluttered as Suzaku began thrusting, and he wrapped his legs around Suzaku’s rapidly rocking hips beneath the soft yet imposing fabric of the cape.
Suzaku panted in the sweltering, limited air of the Zero mask as he gave in to his baser instincts and pounded his boyfriend into ruin. Even with his otherworldly stamina and seemingly superhuman abilities, Suzaku feared he might pass out from lack of fresh oxygen.
It became obvious that the Zero mask was not made for fucking.
Still, Suzaku remained determined. It might have been naïve, but he needed to believe in himself. For Lelouch’s sake. Upping his sheer force, Suzaku kept thrusting.
Lelouch was trying desperately to look into Suzaku’s uncovered eye, but he kept going cross-eyed as Suzaku drove him to the peak. His pulse was jumping wildly in his neck, and his eyes actually rolled back in his head when Suzaku reached down to stroke his leaking cock under the flutter of the Zero cape. “Suzaku…!” he groaned, arching into Suzaku’s heated skin and pressing his throbbing erection directly against Suzaku’s lower abdomen, right against his Black Knights tattoo.
Suzaku let out a single snort from the back of his throat, now breathing heavily through his mouth in the confined mask. With his face surrounded by hot, stifling air, it was getting increasingly difficult to keep up his characteristically fervent level of performance. Was this how out-of-breath Lelouch felt when it was his turn to top? As with adopting the Zero persona, Suzaku was overcome by a new wave of understanding and appreciation for his boyfriend. Despite Lelouch’s low blood pressure and fatigue, he always found a way to demonstrate his passion. Warmth exploded in Suzaku’s chest at how lucky he was to find a true partner in his childhood-friend-turned-lover. The only thing Suzaku wanted was to be worthy of Lelouch in kind. That’s why he continued to thrust, doing what he felt best and ignoring his body’s warning signs to stop.
Lelouch was scratching at Suzaku’s back with his free hand in desperation under the folds of the wrinkling Zero cape now, and his helpless mewls rebounded around his bedroom in a musical cry of surrender. “Suzaku, please!”
Chuckling softly, his already-obscured vision blinking in and out, Suzaku squeezed Lelouch’s trembling hand—still clasped tightly in his—and teased dangerously, “I’m not Lord Zero anymore?”
Lelouch’s face scrunched in a frown, and he immediately worked some kind of magic with the Zero mask to release its mechanisms; it truly was a miraculous feat, with the way Suzaku’s body kept making his writhe. Within seconds, Lelouch freed him—like he was freeing Japan—and flung the Zero mask unceremoniously across the room. Groaning wretchedly, his gaze zipped back and forth across Suzaku’s open face. “No, just Suzaku,” Lelouch gasped with usually suppressed emotion, cupping Suzaku’s bare cheek that time. It was instant improvement. “Just my knight.”
Gulping fresh air, Suzaku relished the warmth of Lelouch’s easy affection. It was only in their stolen moments like this when Lelouch discarded all his masks and let his true feelings shine. Suzaku knew, and he was beyond honored at the trust Lelouch placed in him—trust that had only grown since Suzaku had dedicated himself fully to Lelouch. To all his sides. It was a matter of moments before Lelouch let himself go, pushed to the brink by Suzaku’s proficient ministrations, and the pure pleasure sweeping across his face as he ejaculated on Suzaku’s belly was enough to make Suzaku’s heart thump with giddy pride. Smiling sappily at his boyfriend, Suzaku bent and nudged his nose against Lelouch’s and treasured their closeness, that they were breathing the same air. “I’m always proud to be yours,” Suzaku murmured, giving in to his climax—mission objective irrefutably successful—while finding himself in Lelouch’s intense, violet gaze.
Limp with satisfaction, Suzaku lightly pressed his forehead against Lelouch’s and kept staring into pools of violet. All the secrets of the universe were hiding in the depths of Lelouch’s vibrant eyes, and Suzaku was certain it would take a lifetime to decipher them all. Excitement shot down his spine as he looked forward to the rest of their journey together. Mustering up the energy, still boneless from pleasure, he whispered, “How was it?”
Lelouch blinked at him in surprise, rolling into a more comfortable cuddling position against Suzaku’s body. “Why are you asking? It was marvelous, as always.”
Suzaku’s mouth quirked up in a grin, and he held Lelouch close. “You were amazing too,” he praised, rubbing his palm soothingly up and down the length of Lelouch’s arm. “But I learned my lesson: The Zero mask is a liability when it comes to sex.”
Snorting, Lelouch kissed what he could reach of Suzaku’s shoulder. “I guess even we couldn’t make that miracle happen together. Yet.”
“It was worth a try,” Suzaku said, defending his insane idea. Sighing, he nosed into Lelouch’s hair and inhaled his boyfriend’s tantalizing scent. It invigorated him as he reached for the stowed hand towel under the pillow, high at the tender ritual of aftercare as he cleaned them both. “If I could just breathe better in it, I could keep up the role.”
“You did really well once you got into Zero’s headspace,” Lelouch lauded him, chortling again into Suzaku’s warm skin. “We might need to consider putting you in-costume more often.” Before Suzaku could protest, Lelouch added, “For real missions, I mean.”
Suzaku grunted into Lelouch’s messy hair and expertly tossed the soiled towel into the strategically-stationed hamper from his usual spot in bed; they had the non-negotiables of their sexual routine down to a science. “You mean you actually want me to pretend to be Zero?”
“We’ll have to work on the hand motions,” Lelouch said airily, like he was, indeed, seriously considering it. “But C.C. isn’t always available, and having a body-double is a significant advantage sometimes.”
Rolling his eyes, Suzaku kissed the top of Lelouch’s head. So far, he’d mostly done reconnaissance work behind-the-scenes for the Black Knights. Sometimes he accompanied Zero to confront oppressive figures. During some of those encounters, Suzaku had even gotten his hands dirty; instinct took over if any of those bastards threatened Lelouch. Oddly enough, he was learning to be okay with it. A mindset shift of such magnitude took time, and Suzaku was grateful for Lelouch’s patience and support. And he was glad Lelouch kept brainstorming new ways to include Suzaku in Black Knights operations. “If you think it would be helpful, I’ll try to stand in as Zero. For you.”
“Wonderful,” Lelouch said dryly. “I’ll also work on modifying the Zero mask so you can breathe better in it, and maybe we can revisit this kink in the future.”
Suzaku shifted back a bit, casting a dubious eye on his prince. “What do you mean?”
“I can add another opening, perhaps,” Lelouch said thoughtfully, his forehead wrinkling as he no doubt ran through ideas in his brilliant mind. “Include more air holes. Or maybe insert an oxygen mask inside the main mask?”
Suzaku simply stared at him.
“I’ll figure it out for you, if you’re interested,” Lelouch promised, fondly stroking Suzaku’s side. “At least for a test run experience, I’d consider tonight’s venture a success. Happy birthday again, Suzaku.”
Giving into the urge of the night, Suzaku leaned forward and kissed him.
Lelouch looked incredibly dazed and happy by the time Suzaku finally pulled back. “By the way,” Lelouch mused, turning onto his side so he faced Suzaku head-on. “You know how for my birthday, you gave me all of yourself?”
Slowly, Suzaku nodded. “Of course. And I meant it.”
“I know,” Lelouch said, his eyes going soft for a precious moment. “It was all I ever wanted, Suzaku. You, by my side.” He went quiet, mulling over something, before sharing, “Exploring your Zero mask kink wasn’t your whole present. Tonight, I want to give you my entire self too. The last of me. You deserve all my secrets.”
Suzaku pushed himself up on one elbow, intrigued. His heart pounded faster in anticipation. He had an idea of what his prince meant, but he tried not to get his hopes up, just in case. “Lelouch, what do you mean? I know about your royal heritage. I know you’re Zero. Do you have any other identities you’re hiding from me? I really don’t see how you could.”
Lelouch mirrored Suzaku’s position, his face serious, and he almost slipped in the tangle of cape and sheets. “I want to tell you how I accomplish Zero’s miracles.”
Tingling all over, Suzaku nodded and cocked his head. His instincts were on-target after all. “I’m listening.”
Lelouch sat up fully, the still-draped Zero cape sliding off his naked body. Somehow, it seemed fitting that he stripped himself of secrets in a matching vulnerable state of physical nudity. In the midst of a suspended moment, he willingly shed his most heavily-guarded secret to date. “I possess a supernatural power called Geass. Though it has limitations, Geass allows me to control people. I’m sure you have questions.”
Jaw dropping open in astonishment, Suzaku blinked quickly several times. No matter how many times he replayed his boyfriend’s brief explanation, it made no sense. Maybe he was still delirious from climaxing so hard. Stranger things had happened. Finally registering Lelouch’s final point, Suzaku mumbled, “Um, yeah, I sure do.”
“I thought so,” Lelouch said matter-of-factly. Settling himself on the bed, he continued like he was briefing Suzaku on their next shared mission. “Let me see if I can answer some of them before you even ask. I use my Geass strategically as a weapon, and I try to use it as a last resort. I’d much rather win without relying on it, but sometimes it proves advantageous or even necessary.”
Suzaku nodded along, trying to process this rather unbelievable claim. Lelouch had always been so logical and practical; surely he wasn’t trying to pull Suzaku’s leg?
“I can only issue a single command per person,” Lelouch continued, rattling off points like he’d prepared an entire mental essay in preparation for this heavy confession. “I also need direct eye contact for a command to take effect. The people under my Geass are unaware of the time they follow my orders; they also experience brief memory loss shortly before and after they carry out my will.”
Sitting up, Suzaku pulled at the Zero cape tied below his neck. It suddenly felt too constricting. He’d made peace with following Zero, Britannia’s most wanted terrorist—but could he reconcile his beloved boyfriend with a controlling puppet-master? Grimacing slightly, Suzaku summarized, “You steal people’s free will and use them as pawns.”
“Essentially,” Lelouch agreed, steadily meeting Suzaku’s eyes. “I understand that my Geass power clashes with your moral compass, just as my overall actions as Zero were once a thorn in our relationship.”
Suzaku nodded again silently, his mind reeling.
“I wanted to ease you into this knowledge,” Lelouch explained, “and give you time to come to terms with working alongside Zero first. I didn’t want to overwhelm you. But now you seem comfortable with Zero—something I truly believed impossible at one time, let me assure you—and I figured it was time to clue you into everything. You deserve to know.”
Suzaku’s brain buzzed as Lelouch poured his heart out. “And this is the last of your secrets?”
“It is,” Lelouch promised with an unusually hesitant smile. “Now you have all of me.”
Suzaku dropped his gaze from Lelouch’s searching eyes, staring at the Zero mask across the room. Suddenly, Suzaku felt he knew Zero better than Lelouch. It wasn’t an epiphany he liked. Then, with a sigh, Suzaku dragged his attention back to his prince. Lelouch was waiting so patiently, so hopefully, and Suzaku hated to disappoint. They’d come so far, communicating across their troubles and hashing out their complementary hypocrisy, and it had served them well once they’d finally gotten their act together. Clearing his throat, Suzaku chased clarification and prompted, “How have you used your Geass? You said you’ve used it strategically.”
Nodding quickly, Lelouch launched into another monologue as he described each specific situation: killing the members of the royal guard in Shinjuku, stealing Knightmares, asking questions about classified information, testing his power limits, erasing people’s memories if they’d accidentally witnessed condemnable evidence, the Orange Incident, killing corrupt officials and saving innocents, erasing Shirley’s memory in a misguided attempt to ease her suffering, silencing the crazy mind-reader Mao…
Suzaku listened attentively throughout it all, trying his damnedest to truly understand. Beneath this Geass power, it was still Lelouch. And he loved Lelouch. When finally his boyfriend trailed off and looked at him expectantly, Suzaku grabbed Lelouch’s hand. With a small but genuine smile, he noticed aloud, “You’ve never used it to completely enslave someone to do your every bidding.”
“I’m not that desperate,” Lelouch huffed, shifting uncomfortably. “Besides, Nunnally wouldn’t approve of that method.” Lifting his chin, he hurriedly added, “She doesn’t know any of this, of course, but I still want to use this power—this gift—in a way that would make her proud.”
Suzaku softly shook his head. “Lelouch, I don’t think Nunnally would approve of you erasing Shirley’s memories.”
“Okay, I panicked on that one,” Lelouch said with a wince. “It wasn’t my finest moment. I just didn’t want my friend to be in pain because of me. I didn’t know what else to do.”
Slowly, Suzaku squeezed Lelouch’s hand in silent reassurance. Though things had changed between them yet again, holding Lelouch’s hand still felt right and comfortable. “I get it,” Suzaku said, surprised to find that he really meant it the more he gave it some thought. “I can, at least on some level, understand the rest of your Geass commands. On a tactical level, that is. But again, like with Zero’s general methods, I don’t always agree with your decisions—but I’m not willing to let your Geass drive me away from you, Lelouch.”
Lelouch let out an enormous sigh of relief and slumped towards Suzaku. “I’m glad.”
Sending his boyfriend a heartfelt smile, Suzaku kissed Lelouch’s knuckles. “I’m honored that you shared this massive secret with me, my prince. It means a lot, that you chose to tell me, even suspecting my initial reaction would be negative.”
“I trust you,” Lelouch murmured, rubbing his thumb across the top of Suzaku’s hand. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you something so important.”
“Nah, I understand why you waited,” Suzaku said with a shrug. It was becoming easier to digest, though Suzaku knew it was another of those matters that would take time to fully process. At least he’d had practice with the whole Zero conundrum. Another potential issue roared up in his buzzing mind, and he blurted, “Hey, uh, you never mentioned if you used Geass on me.”
Immediately, Lelouch shook his head. “I could never use the power on you, Suzaku. You’re too important to me.” Leaning closer, he admitted in a low voice, “To be honest, I’ve been tempted. When you were first revealed as the Lancelot’s pilot and made Euphy’s knight, I didn’t know what to do. C.C. kept urging me to use my Geass on you, but I couldn’t bear the thought.”
Suzaku glanced up, getting lost in the turmoil in Lelouch’s eyes. It had been a difficult time for them both.
“I wanted you by my side,” Lelouch insisted, “but I loved you too much to bend your will. I wanted you with me because you wanted to be with me. I never would have guessed that you’d come around on your own.”
Suzaku’s throat was tight as he listened to the pain in his prince’s voice.
“The Black Knights kept asking me what we were going to do about you,” Lelouch said, speaking quickly as he fiddled with the discarded Zero cape. “Honestly, if we weren’t dating, I probably would have come up with stronger plans. Kidnapping you and trying to blackmail your loyalty, at the very least, would have been worth a shot. But, I couldn’t bring myself to make a move against you, not when we were together, my knight.”
Again, Suzaku nodded as he took it all in. Lelouch was being honest, even with some ugly truths. “I see.” With a strained laugh, Suzaku said, “I’m glad we’ve been happily dating then, if that’s what swayed your mind. My devotion to you, Lelouch, was what led me to Zero’s side in the end anyway, so it’s funny how that worked out.”
Lelouch’s face was radiant, even exhausted from strenuous sex and difficult divulgences. “And,” he probed, “just to make sure, we’re still okay?”
Suzaku grinned more easily, relaxing into this new truth, and leaned in for another comforting kiss. “I love you, Lelouch. Geass or no Geass.”
“I love you too, Suzaku.”
Pulling Lelouch back down on the bed, Suzaku gently brushed his index finger under Lelouch’s left eye. “This is where your power lies, huh?”
Lelouch smirked, and a glowing red sign suddenly burned to life in his left eye. “Impressive deduction.”
Suzaku said nothing, too mesmerized by Lelouch’s Geass before it flickered away. Something about the Geass sigil reminded Suzaku of the Black Knights symbol, of the very artwork that now permanently decorated his skin. He’d been tied to it all along unknowingly, and maybe that was a sign of its own. Accepting that fact, Suzaku once more searched his prince’s confident gaze for answers. Lelouch’s eyes always had been rather hypnotic, and this was yet another layer—another secret of the universe that lived in the depths of Lelouch’s eyes—that Suzaku couldn’t wait to support and love. It was an extension of Lelouch. And even though the power still didn’t exactly sit right with Suzaku, he couldn’t help sputtering a controversial truth: “It’s beautiful.”
Lelouch, clearly not expecting that, only blushed and hid his face in Suzaku’s bare chest. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
“Yes you can,” Suzaku clapped back cheerfully, holding Lelouch close like before. Not even Zero had managed to divide them forever; this Geass power wouldn’t either. Suzaku was sure of it. “We’ll figure this out, just like we learned to work together. And speaking of Zero, that’s how I figured out where your Geass lived. Why else would your Zero mask have a secret sliding mechanism that exposes only your left eye?”
Lelouch shifted against Suzaku’s body, relaxing against him in the way that meant everything was right between them. Sleepily, he mumbled, “Sometimes I forget how smart you are, Suzaku. I must be a fantastic influence.”
That friendly roast didn’t merit a response, especially as fatigue caught up to them both after such an eventful evening. Savoring Lelouch’s presence, Suzaku yawned and let himself slip into a well-deserved rest. His mind danced with the night’s memories, and a warm and fulfilled feeling ballooned in his chest. Even though Lelouch moonlighted as Zero, and even though Lelouch wielded Geass, Suzaku would never let him go. Suzaku could honestly say he accepted Zero now, and he knew himself well enough to figure he would come to understand Lelouch’s Geass as well. Lelouch had been so attractively vulnerable with him—entrusting Suzaku to wear his prized Zero mask during their most physical of intimacies, confiding in Suzaku about the last of his momentous secrets, pledging all of himself to Suzaku for the sake of their shared future…
Suzaku sighed in bliss and nestled closer to his prince. Geass had become something inherent within Lelouch, and Lelouch was inherent to Suzaku’s well-being. It was all connected. When it came down to it, Suzaku was unbelievably happy with Lelouch. After half a lifetime of nursing a passive death wish, but still searching for a reason to go on living, Suzaku had found his answer in Lelouch. He’d chosen to veer from his stated path and dedicate himself fully to Lelouch, and Lelouch had responded in kind. They’d proven their hearts to each other by sharing their whole selves, and at their mutual commitment, a deep, profound joy reverberated in Suzaku’s very bones.
All things considered, experimental sex in the Zero mask was just an added birthday bonus.