Work Text:
Buggy sighed, long and hard, letting everyone around him know exactly how displeased he was by what he was about to do.
“You idiots better be grateful,” he said, snatching a bottle of rum and taking a long swig. “Give me like, ten minutes. Then move on, and better be quick about it!”
Scattered murmurs answered him, but it was good enough.
Honestly, why was it always him who ended up in this kind of situations? Having to get onto the Red Force unseen, with the Red-Haired idiot none the wiser… Of course it would befall Buggy to distract him. Who else could have done that?
He moved across the dock confidently, adding the tiniest bit of sway to his gait. If this was going to work, he had to have everyone believing he was genuinely drunk out of his mind.
Nobody seemed to notice him for the longest moment, letting him board the ship completely unhindered. And when someone finally did spot him, it took only a single split to get through them.
Honestly, what kind of imbeciles did Shanks gather for his crew?
“Shaaaaaaanks!” Buggy called out, his voice perfectly demanding. “Shanks, get your lazy ass out here-”
This part, at least, was familiar. It happened enough times over the years that Buggy had a script he could follow. He couldn’t help himself; No matter how much he claimed to hate Shanks, his body betrayed him every time the redhead was nearby.
There was a pattern to it. Buggy would get just drunk enough for his inhibitions to let up completely. If Shanks was in the vicinity, Buggy would inevitably seek him out, invite himself over onto the Red Force like he had a right to be on board (and, seeing as Shanks never protested, wasn’t he correct?) and yell until Shanks-
Showed up. There he was, leaning with one hand against the wall, his chest heaving like he just ran a marathon.
“Buggy!” He exclaimed, eyes shining, and moved towards him.
Buggy hid a scowl behind the bottle, taking another swig to fortify himself. Then, once Shanks got close enough, he threw himself at the other man, draping himself over him like a limpet, leaving Shanks to try and hold him up with his singular arm.
“Hello there, gorgeous,” Shanks murmured, sounding far too happy, just as he did every time Buggy showed up.
For as many times as they’ve performed this song and dance before… Buggy had never been sober for its duration. He knew a few more steps, remembered they usually sequestered themselves in Shanks’ cabin, remembered the kisses-
But that was usually all he could recall before blacking out.
And the next thing he could remember was waking up in Shanks’ bed, sometimes with the man still beside him, with significantly less clothing than he started out with.
He didn’t need to remember it to know what had happened those nights. But, this time, he would remember it.
Buggy considered the bottle in his grasp. Maybe if he drank it fast enough…
“Let’s go,” he said, pushing himself off of Shanks chest and grabbing his arm to drag him towards his own cabin.
“Captain-” the crew member who tried to stop Buggy earlier sounded exasperated.
“We’ll set sail in the morning instead,” Shanks had enough time to order before Buggy dragged him down the very same corridor he had emerged from.
He knew the way to Shanks’ cabin well enough to make it there with his eyes closed. Buggy made use of that ability, taking a long swig of the rum without even slowing down.
“Easy, love, there’s no rush,” Shanks called, but didn’t actually do anything to lower the bottle from Buggy’s lips.
He couldn’t, Buggy thought with glee. Not with his only arm held in Buggy’s grasp. He had to shift to linking their elbows soon after, though, sending a hand ahead to open the doors for them.
Shanks used that opportunity to pull his arm free, gently removing the bottle from Buggy’s grasp. Or, well, he removed it from Buggy’s lips; his fingers were still curled tight around the glass, though no longer attached to the rest of him.
Buggy rolled his eyes, but let Shanks have that victory. They were already at the cabin, anyway. He couldn’t have kept drinking even if he wanted to, not when the second part of his performance was about to start.
He gave Shanks just long enough to safely deposit the bottle on his table before pushing the man towards his bed. Shanks didn’t resist at all, sitting down the moment his calves made contact with the frame.
Buggy wasted no time, straddling Shank’s lap and kissing him aggressively. He let Shanks’ hand sneak around his waist, pulling him closer, and snuck his arms around the redhead’s neck in retaliation.
This was about as far as he could retrace his past steps. He remembered nothing past the make-out sessions, and he was nowhere near drunk enough to let that carry him through.
Hopefully, Shanks would take initiative and be too distracted to notice if Buggy acted differently in any way. The one last constant Buggy could recall though, the difference between now and tomorrow morning, would be the amount of clothes they were both wearing.
With that thought in mind, Buggy pushed at the coat over Shanks’ shoulders, satisfied with the way it pooled behind Shanks’ back. He moved on to the shirt next, pulling it out of Shanks’ trousers until a single hand against his own halted his movement.
Shanks nipped at Buggy’s lips before pulling back, resting their foreheads together and staring into Buggy’s eyes with a disgustingly lovesick expression.
“Why are you in such a hurry, Buggy?” He asked, a smile dancing on his lips. “It doesn’t really matter how long we take, does it?”
“Bastard,” Buggy snarled, but his heart wasn’t in it, and judging by the smirk, Shanks could hear it, too. “Let’s just get it over with already.”
At that, Shanks sighed, the smile dropping.
“I still don’t understand, you know,” he mused, moving his hand to cup Buggy’s cheek.
Buggy leaned into the touch briefly before remembering himself. He straightened up with a scowl. “What’s there to understand?”
“Why you’re always so certain we’re going to fuck.”
Back rigid, Buggy stared at Shanks incredulously.
The man huffed at him in amusement. “Here’s that face again. You always look so shocked, love.”
“What do you mean,” Buggy said, his inflection just flat enough for that to not really be a question.
“I know you won’t remember anything in the morning,” Shanks leaned forward, hiding his face in the crook of Buggy’s neck. “You’re always so angry when you wake up, so convinced I’d take advantage of your inebriated state. You never let me explain, until the next time you seek me out, and then we have this very conversation again and- It gets tiring, Bugs.”
“You- We never-? What…” Buggy stammered, trying to make sense of it.
If it wasn’t sex, then why would Shanks tolerate Buggy monopolizing entire hours of his time? Sure, there was their joint past, and Shanks’ attraction to him which remained a constant for far longer than Buggy expected, but the man was one of the four Emperors now! Surely he had better things to do than entertain a completely sloshed old friend?
Shanks chuckled, but the sound was completely devoid of mirth.
“Sometimes I wonder about the idea of me inside your mind,” he said into Buggy’s skin. “But I’m too scared to ask.”
Buggy couldn’t help but scoff. “You? Scared? Making people laugh is my job, idiot.”
Pulling back, Shanks looked Buggy in the eye. “You seem to think I’d ignore everything we were ever taught about consent and have sex with you when you’re blackout drunk-”
“Well that’s the only way you’ll ever have me!” Buggy interrupted callously. “It’s drunk or never!”
“Then I’ll always pick never.”
Buggy froze. Maybe Shanks had a point when he said Buggy had some wrong ideas about him. If that was really true…
“I thought you wanted me,” slipped out of Buggy’s mouth.
…Perhaps he was a little drunk.
“I do,” Shanks grimaced, his voice pained. “More than anything. But Buggy, love, I want you to remember it.”
Moving off of Shanks’ lap, Buggy started to pace around the cabin, trying to process the new information. Shanks seemed content to leave him to it for now, taking his coat and going to hang it over the back of a nearby chair.
He did intervene when Buggy tried to grab his bottle of rum, though.
“I think you had enough of that,” Shanks said, gently prying the bottle away from him.
“Hardly,” Buggy grumbled, but acquiesced.
“Let’s get you into bed, shall we?”
Buggy snorted, letting himself be guided towards the frankly ridiculously soft bed. Buggy had been trying to find one like that for his own use for ageeeees, but somehow no matter the bed, he never woke up feeling as rested as he did after sleeping in Shanks’.
“I thought you wanted to keep me out of it,” Buggy said, shucking off his clothes. If Shanks insisted on putting him to sleep every time, it certainly explained why he always woke up half-naked, even if they didn’t fuck. “You know, in my state.”
“Ha-ha,” Shanks’ sounded dry. His footsteps passed across the room, coming back to rest right behind Buggy. “You’re grumpier than usual, today.”
Buggy turned around, but Shanks just handed him a damp towel before crouching to pick up the clothes Buggy had just shed all over his floor and depositing them on the same chair as his coat.
When he saw Buggy still just holding the towel, Shanks made a vague gesture towards his own face. “For the make-up-?”
Startling, Buggy blinked at the thoughtfulness, moving to rub the paint off. He rarely bothered, these days, since repainting all of it was a chore, but it always felt good to let his skin breathe from time to time.
Once he was done, Shanks took the towel from his hands before Buggy could even begin to awkwardly wonder where to put it. It felt… Weird, to have him dote on Buggy like that.
…It felt weird to see the smooth, practiced motions, and know that Shanks had done that for him countless times before.
Buggy busied himself with taking off his shoes instead of thinking more about that.
Shanks came back just in time to pull the covers back, letting Buggy scoot right into the bed, tucking the blanket around him.
It was, Buggy would begrudgingly admit, rather cute.
But then Shanks turned to leave and Buggy didn’t even think before his hand shot out, grabbing his sleeve.
He was here to distract Shanks, after all. And who’s to say his morons finished their mission? Better keep Shanks occupied for now.
That was the only reason.
Shanks gulped, looking back at Buggy. “Yes?”
Buggy just blinked at him. They both knew exactly what he wanted; Why bother saying it out-loud?
Sighing, Shanks moved to take off his shirt—Buggy’s lending him a hand in the most literal sense—and threw it over his chair with far less care than he’s shown to Buggy’s clothes.
Buggy helpfully held the blanket up as Shanks scooted into the bed.
“You’ll be the death of me, one day,” Shanks murmured as Buggy scooted closer, arranging himself over Shanks’ chest. If he was going to sleep with the nuisance, you better believe he was going to make the most of it!
Going by Shanks’ amused huff and his arm reaching to take out Buggy’s hair tie, this was likely something he’d done before, too.
“I love you, Bugs,” he whispered, and Buggy scoffed before pausing.
“Do you say all that stuff every time?”
“Yeah.”
“You know, I’m going to remember this in the morning,” he warned.
Shanks just leaned down, kissing him on the temple. “That would be great.”
Buggy scowled. “You don’t believe me.”
“Hard to believe it when it’s the same thing you say every time. You’ll only come to me drunk; I’ve long since accepted it.”
“But you won’t have me while I’m drunk.”
“No, I won’t.”
“Thought pirates were supposed to take what they wanted.”
“Not this. Never this.”
***
It took Buggy a moment to get his bearings.
He was in Shanks’ bed, cradled in Shanks’ arm, half-dressed… He could tick this off on a list, that’s how regular this situation was.
But… his head didn’t hurt with a hangover. And… He could remember everything from last night.
He woke Shanks up with a punch.
“Ow-!” The man woke up with a start, half-sitting and confused as he stared at Buggy in shock.
“You’re so stupid,” Buggy sniffed, and then crawled into Shanks’ lap to kiss the shit out of him.
“What-”
“I wasn’t drunk at all, last night,” he said. “And if you had explained what was happening at any point that I wasn’t drunk, we could have been doing this for years now.”