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In Lloyd’s life there had been a lot of ‘ never’s’. Most ones he's told himself. Some tame. Like: Never use your elemental powers in hopes to instantly charge your phone. Never bother Wu in the morning before he has had his tea. Or to never lend your comics to Kai or Jay if you wish to have them back at some point. Some others were a bit more solidified in his mind as strict rules set to protect his heart. These were more so along the lines of, never trust a snake. Or, never expect anything good to come from your father if he ever shows his face. And especially never let a mysterious girl get close to you ever again. No matter how much you think you know her.
The last one rang in his mind as he looked at the girl across from him. ‘Never’ apparently didn’t mean much in the Never-Realm
Once he found out she was actually a girl and not an ordinary wolf, Lloyd’s walls went straight back up. In his mind, what reason would anyone have for hiding part of their identity aside from deceit? She could have any number of reasons to harm him. Knowing all of his inner emotional weaknesses would make any method of execution that much easier too. Yet, upon hearing her story while traveling with her a bit longer… he felt his walls start to come back down. Not on any volition of his own though, it was his naïve, empathetic, trusting heart that often led him into these situations.
Although, it was now becoming sort of clear she wasn't deceitful on purpose.
Akita had experienced loss, pain and loneliness similar to Lloyd. Even though she yearned to avenge her brother, and revenge was not a motive Lloyd was taught to uphold; the glimmer in her eyes as she spoke of her convictions was of a wish for justice. He knew it well. While Lloyd was traveling in hopes to find his own brother, not once on this journey had she ever made the choice not to aid him.
Lloyd knew now they were on the same quest. More or less. That logically their odds stand better together than divided. And whether Lloyd really liked it or not, he would have been…rather sad if he had to go the rest of the way to the castle alone.
The part of him that had an eye for goodness saw Akita clearly now. Although, he had a hard time trusting that sense these days.
“You’re awfully quiet now.”
Lloyd would have let out a more flattering laugh if he had more energy, what came out was a wobbly note of amusement through his teeth.
“Ye-ah well, I think I've said enough already.” His words came out wavering like the wind around them. The Titan Mech crouched over the two provided a semblance of shelter. Though the cruel element still whipped and whistled around them. Occasionally blowing in through the bits of space between the mech's arms and legs.
“L-like I said,” Lloyd added, “I don't usually talk like that to people, so, forgive me if I'm- still embarrassed.”
Akita just narrowed her eyes at his tone. Looking over his form intently. Aside from the blanket he had wrapped around himself from the Land Bounty, the ninja had his knees shut tightly and pulled into his chest. Arms clasped around his legs, as if the loose hug he were giving himself would keep in his body heat. More notably to Akita, was the fact that he was trembling.
Without a word she pushed the heat lamp closer to Lloyd. Who raised a brow at the action.
“Wha-what are you doing that for- we're sharing.” Using his foot Lloyd scooted the lamp back towards the middle of them.
“You're shivering.” Akita stated firm and simple.
“I'm f- fine.” Lloyd rebutted. “You need to keep warm too.”
“I am warm.” Again, Akita spoke like her words should be obvious. To Lloyd it should have been. Her clothing was made up of furs and a thick looking material that… did look warm in retrospect. Lloyd’s gi was crafted to be breathable, not so much for insulation. This much he was well aware of, though when it came to showing vulnerability, Lloyd was ever stubborn.
“You, however-” Akita continued, “Let me see your hands.” She reached out over the heat lamp, awaiting for Lloyd to comply and give his hands to hers.
Lloyd furrowed his brows as he looked at her outstretched palm. Then he looked back up into her eyes, which were neutral, but serious.
“Uh. Why?” The edge to Lloyd’s voice turned slightly suspicious. Which Akita didn't appreciate.
“Don’t be difficult.” She growled. “Just let me see-”
“You don't need to see anything, I'm fine- I've lived through ah-a lot worse than a little cold.” Lloyd curled his hands so his fingers and palms were tucked in between his legs. Forcing his jaw still to keep the waver out of his voice, he then looked away. Away from Akita, and away from her hand.
Nothing but the sound of wind gliding off the metal surface of the mech could be heard for a moment.
“You are so frustrating.”
Lloyd turned his gaze back to the girl across from him. Her eyes narrowed at him again, this time not in a calculating way. She was annoyed.
“What? ” Lloyd’s voice went a little higher than he would have liked. “Just-t 'cause I don't want to be coddled?”
“Because you say you value trust, but you do not give it in return!” Akita raised her voice louder than Lloyd's, her words caused his equally annoyed expression to fade.
“I have told you my story. Protected you as you have done for me. You bandaged me when I was wounded. Now, as I ask for your hand to check for frostbite, you act as if I am the one who will bite it off.”
Akita's expression was some sort of mixture of emotion Lloyd had yet to see directed at him. It was anger, and pain. The scrunch in her nose deepened as she said, “All because, what, you are still disappointed I am not only a wolf?”
That remark caused Lloyd to sit up out of his hunched over position. “That's not true, it has nothing to do with that!”
“Then what! You think I am like this Harumi? That I will harm you the moment your back is turned?”
Again, for a moment, the wind around their makeshift shelter was the only sound that filled the space. Lloyd…didn't exactly have an answer ready for that. His heart panged to hear it, yet he didn't know why. The trauma associated with the name, reminded him of every reason why he had to be weary around people. Why he shouldn't freely give out his trust. Even when he wanted to.
Although, the growing ache felt like something else. Guilt. Because realistically, Lloyd knew Akita was undeserving of his aloof nature; but his guarded instincts often acted without permission. Even though the part of him that still believed in the goodness of everyone was ready and willing to let Akita in. Lloyd didn’t consider himself a cold or untrusting person. Yet he hated that he could be just that at the thought of being backed into a corner.
“If I am to travel with you, you have to understand.”
Again the lamp was pushed towards Lloyd.
“I am Akita.”
Especially when that corner didn't actually exist. He was just scared of being hurt again. Like… Akita must have been, when she only allowed herself to be perceived as a wolf…
Taking his hands out, Lloyd offered them over the heat lamp. Palms up and inviting, like Akita's previously were.
“I’m sorry.” Lloyd said. His gaze flicked from Akita's dark brown eyes to the glimmering snow around them. “I don’t doubt you. It's just…sometimes…I can be…”
Lloyd struggled to find the words to accurately explain how the world broke him down and pieced him back together in such a way that made him the jagged ball of paranoia he is now. That some of those pieces were not…as pretty or easy to hold. Or in this case, ready to be held.
“I know.” Akita interrupted as Lloyd trailed off. She pressed her lips together in a subtle smile as a gesture of acceptance. “I can be the same.”
Slowly, she took in Lloyd’s hands. Brushing her palms on the underside of his. “Being on my own for so long, it wasn’t easy to decide you could be trusted either.”
Akita's hands were surprisingly warm. The gloves Lloyd wore were fingerless, allowing her warmth to easily be felt as she looked at his fingertips. Cold, and pale, she curled his hands together and held them both in a ball tight between her own. Her breath even warmer against his knuckles.
“You were very strange to me. And still are.” She said seriously, but Lloyd made a slight face and it made Akita laugh out a breath.
“But your actions showed me the truth that perhaps your- many, many collections of words could not.” Her thumb brushed back and forth in an idle effort to keep warming his hands. “You are noble. And care deeply for your allies.”
Lloyd felt the calluses on the pads of her fingers. The soft motion caused a new warmth to bloom in his chest, catching him off guard. He pulled his hands away, honestly before he could really even think about it.
“ I- I do,” he rubbed his hands together casually like he was cured, despite the way his skin burned in the absence of Akita's. “and I got the same impression from you. I guess I just don’t- don't deal with surprises all that well.”
Akita reached back out to him, unsure why he pulled away. “You are still shivering.”
Lloyd let out a huff. A slight vocalization on his breath that was a futile mix between embarrassment and appreciation for the gesture. A handful of words stalled in his throat. The urge to give in to a proximity that his boundaries screamed against had him unsure what to say. It was easy to share warmth when she appeared as a wolf, but as a human- something other than the cold had him jittery.
Akita however, sighed. Reaching around her shoulders she pulled off one of the outer layers of skinned fur keeping her warm. In the same motion, she laid it out on top of the icy snow next to her.
“Here. Let’s at least get you off the snow. Your body heat goes into the ground if not properly layered.”
Now that, was something Lloyd could bring himself to do. After a moment, Lloyd pried himself up from where he sat and sluggishly moved over to Akita. With a frigid shudder of a sigh, he tried to get cozy in this new spot. Legs pulled back in tight against his chest, his arms wrapped the blanket back around himself. The thick fur already providing a noticeable difference against the ice below him.
Akita pulled the heat lamp closer to them both. “Better?” She asked.
“It’s an improo- improvement .” Lloyd shivered. “I should have bro-ught more - supplies from the Land Bounty. I didn’t think about how many more nights this journey would t-take us, after finding the mech.”
“It will only get colder as we get closer.” Hearing the scorn in her voice, Lloyd looked over to the formling. She scowled in the direction the two would be heading in the morning. “The Ice Emperor- and Vex, have nothing but ice where their hearts should be. The cruel winds, the black ice that shroud this land in a never ending cold. Are nothing but extensions of their tyranny. I can only imagine that the Emperor’s castle will be the most frozen and dark place one can journey to.”
Wind howled in the distance. As if a challenge to Akita. She continued to stare it down while Lloyd frowned.
With his past on his mind, Lloyd realized that for Akita, her troubles were on going. She had to live in a world overtaken by those who took her family and friends from her. Much like Ninjago had felt, when he thought he lost all four of his brothers and his father almost brought the city to ruins under his tyrannical grip alongside Harumi. Forced to live in the shadows to stay alive. Back then, Lloyd didn’t know whether or not he even wanted to. Though as destiny pushes him to do, he rose back up and fought back.
Those were easily the darkest days of Lloyd’s entire life. Which was a testament to the pain to admit, considering his life was riddled with tribulations. In Akita's own story, she was rising up to fight against the injustices she witnessed much like he did. While it was comforting to realize how similar the two were, it panged Lloyd’s heart to see her go through something, that when it was him experiencing it, he almost didn't get back up.
“We're going to stop them.” Lloyd said. His conviction clear, Akita looked to him once more. The hatred in her stare melted as soon as her eyes met his. “We'll make sure your home is restored, a-and maybe, we can figure out how to save your village. My team and I saw people frozen in that black ice before when we first arrived in this realm- they were still alive. Th-there's still a chance.”
Akita's eyes widened at his last words before her expression faded into something more wistful. Her gaze fell to her lap.
“I hope so.”
Silence fell between the two again. As the wind whipped and howled in the distance, neither of the two felt uncomfortable from the lack of words. Each others company filled the space enough. That was until Akita spoke up again. Voice quieter, almost like she was dipping her toes into new waters.
“Vex,” she started, “He is why I was afraid to show you who I really am. Why I allowed you to believe I was only a wolf.”
Lloyd looked back over to the girl next to him. She continued to look downwards, her dully pointed nail carved a shallow line in the snow idly. Then, her gaze shifted upwards again to check Lloyd’s response.
Her expression was thoughtful, yet completely lax. Probably the most soft Lloyd had yet to see it.
“When I was young. I remember hearing stories of him.” She looked forward, towards the dark horizon. Painful nostalgia behind her eyes. “He was known as Vex the Formless, because he was a formling like us; but had no animal form within.”
“He had disowned us formlings as his kin and held us with disdain. Under his and the Ice Emperor’s rule, he made sure that hatred was a shared one. That we are re-told as savages and lovers of war who must be snuffed out…”
Akita's voice wavered with anger before she steeled herself with a breath. “In the eyes of someone like Vex, being a formling is a fate deserving worse than death. Kataru…the others…”
Finally, Akita looked back up to Lloyd, who stared back. Feeling the somber waves of her story deeply.
“I've had to hide that part of me for a long time.” Akita said, with an ache that hadn't quite been relieved yet.
A handful of different things Lloyd wanted to say in response rolled around in his mind. Finally, what he felt was the right one, sat on his tongue, before the words came out. A subtle lighthearted air to them, he started out in a way he was hopeful she would appreciate.
“Well, I prefer Akita the Formling much more than Red the wolf.”
He sent her a thin lopsided smile, and as his words soaked in, she returned it with a wider one and a laugh.
“That is good to hear.” She hummed.
Comfortable warmth settled between the two just as winds started to howl louder. Whistling sharply, a gust of icy wind practically crashed against the pair like a wave in the ocean.
Lloyd shuddered out a noise of alarm at the discomfort, before the breeze died down again, whipping in a different direction that was blocked by the arm of the mech. If it were even possible, Lloyd held himself tighter.
His mind wanted to speak again, something maybe a little bit unkind to whoever decided it was possible for temperatures to be this low- but all that came out of Lloyd was another weak shudder with a frigid groan tacked on the end of it. Feeling the wind through the fabric of both the blanket and the layers of his gi.
He blinked in subtle surprise however, when the cold seeping through his cover stopped. Almost like another blanket was being brushed against his back. Lloyd found that the girl next to him was no longer there. His gaze in place of where she previously sat, was drawn down towards tips of red. Three tails curled lowly around where he sat to his right, while a whine from his left had Lloyd look the other's way. Greeted with yellow eyes, it was Akita.
The two held each other's gaze until Akita laid down where she stood. A flick of her snout, she let out another noise. Pawing against the fur shawl Lloyd sat on.
Lloyd breathed in deep. Knowing very well what Akita was trying to tell him.
The breath Lloyd took in was released as he adjusted himself. Turning around, Lloyd started to lay on his side, so that his back was to the heat lamp and his front was facing Akita. Fixing the blanket so it covered him better in this position, he thought maybe she'd appreciate if-
The bottom quarter of the blanket draped uselessly against Akita's back leg.
She was rather big in this form. Much larger than Lloyd was, so perhaps that was a little futile. Although as the wolf adjusted around him like a curved barrier to the wind, he figured the gesture was what counted. Her head laid atop her crossed paws above Lloyd’s own head as she curled inwards slightly. The mane of fur along her neck brushed along the blonde hair of the ninja. Immediately blocking out the cold that previously chilled his face and the wind that tousled his hair.
Lloyd let out another shaky breath. Almost melting into the warmth that radiated off of Akita, he got comfortable again. The basic need to get his temperature regulated made it easy not to over think their closeness in Lloyd’s mind. Yet that closeness also, whether he was really conscious of it or not at the time, was fulfilling another interpersonal need that Lloyd often deprived himself of. The breath he let out diffused against the fur that was inches from his face. Distantly he felt the urge to sleep start to creep up behind his eyes.
Though, he wanted this moment to last just a little longer.
Lloyd felt internally like he should say one last thing. It sort of seemed a bit silly, as his thoughts drifted around the idea of what it should be. In the nights they shared previously, when Lloyd hadn’t drifted off accidentally, he’d tell her ‘goodnight’. That’s not so strange to say to her now is it?
Taking one of his cold hands, Lloyd hesitated to lift it. Then gently, with a slight tremor, he placed it atop her fur. Lloyd probably guessed it was the equivalent of her shoulder, or just below it. With a slow back and forth motion, he allowed his fingertips to sink into the layers of soft, white fur. He felt Akita’s breathing even out under his palm.
“Thanks…” Lloyd spoke, his voice quiet, just like the little vocalized huff Lloyd got in return. Just audible enough for the two of them to hear. Nothing beyond the snow, beyond the wind, nor the ice.