Chapter Text
December 25th - Invitation to the annual Theerapanyakul New Year's Eve Gala or, more accurately known as, the huge annual mafia event full of egotistical assholes who only cared about what he could do for them. Invite declined.
December 26th - Nothing
December 27th - Nothing
December 28th - “I need you to do a job for me, come to the compound for details.” - Korn
December 29th - Nothing
December 30th - Nothing
December 31st -
Kim waits by his phone on New Year's Eve, the knowledge that the gala would be starting soon at the forefront of his mind. As soon as it started, Kinn would become completely unreachable until it was over. Maybe he had entrusted Khun to call and invite him. Sure he could just go to the compound without hearing from his brothers, but Khun had always insisted on invitations being part of the tradition after his kidnapping, screeching about how it wasn't a real party without them.
“They’ll call soon to invite me, they’ve just been busy with father’s party,” he reassures himself as he paces back and forth in front of the table on which he'd placed his phone, “Or maybe they’ll surprise me here because they know how much I hate being around our father.”
Kim spends the next several hours cleaning his apartment just in case. He doesn’t have any decorations, but it’s too late to fix that. Hopefully Khun won’t complain about it too much. He checked the time on the stove as he finished, the gala should be coming to a close soon. His phone dings on the table and he rushes to it, but it’s just his manager.
“Happy New Year, Wik!” it says, but it feels hollow with the fake name at the end, “This year will be a good one for you. I can feel it!”
He replies in kind and puts the phone back down. A few minutes later he picks it up, unlocks it, then puts it back down. He does it again. And again. The fourth time he manages to open Kinn’s contact information. He stares at the call button, but his fear of rejection chokes him and he can’t push it.
They’d missed his birthday, but he knew Kinn had been out of the country on business, so he hadn’t minded. They didn’t respond beyond a simple texted “thank you” to the birthday gifts he’d sent them, but they were busy, he understood. The anniversary of their mother’s passing, their father’s birthday celebration, and multiple holidays all passed with barely a word given in response to his messages. But that was okay, words were never a Theerapanyakul strong point. They were better with actions and physical gestures which were probably made harder with him not living at the compound.
They surely wouldn’t forget New Years though. They always spent the last hours of the year together, regardless of whatever mafia business tried to get in the way. They would be here for this, he was certain of it. He knew their relationship was strained right now, but it wouldn’t matter tonight. This was their holiday. All the other “important days” be damned, this is the one that mattered the most to them. These were the few hours out of the year when they could just be brothers, not mafia heirs and trained assassins, just three brothers celebrating being together.
The clock struck midnight, the new year had begun and his phone was silent, the door to his apartment remained shut. With no other options left to consider or excuses that made sense, he was forced to accept that his brothers either forgot about him or truly didn't want him around.
As the fireworks went off over the city of Bangkok just outside his window, Kim finally allowed himself to cry. He buried his face in his arms as they rested on his knees, his favorite gold bracelet cold and hard where it pressed into the soft skin of his cheek. He guessed they weren’t joking when they’d said they were better off without him.
* * *
~6 Years Later~
Chay's first Christmas Eve gala as part of a mafia family yesterday was not something he ever wanted to repeat. Too many people full of themselves in a room, he’s surprised the roof didn’t blow off from the size of everyone’s egos. He didn’t know how hia managed to deal with them all the time. Chay would’ve snapped and shoved someone off a balcony by now, he was sure of it.
When he asked why they were even celebrating it, since Christmas hadn’t really been a thing for him and Porsche growing up, Kinn explained that the Theerapanyakul’s hold a Christmas Eve gala since they have a lot of foreign contacts who do celebrate the holiday. He further explained that doing it at Christmas was a good way to appease their associates while keeping their favored holiday, New Years, focused on family. Korn apparently used to throw the gala on new years eve and they had hated it. As soon as he was in charge, Kinn moved it to Christmas eve instead.
Over the past year he’d mostly adjusted to his life in the compound, feeling less like a prisoner and more like a member of the family. Khun had helped a lot with that, having taken him under his wing and declared him his new youngest brother. Chay spent a lot of time with him watching dramas or playing games. Khun hardly ever cheated against him, which Kinn said meant Khun likes him a lot.
With Christmas over, the new year was coming up fast. He still needed to go out and buy a present for Porsche. As far back as he could remember, Porsche had always given him a gift at midnight on New Year’s Eve. He'd explained it was the best way to start off the new year. As he got older, he understood that it was also partly a way that Porsche made up for not being able to spend a lot for his birthday. It was easier to do multiple small gifts throughout the year than a bunch of gifts in the same month. Either way, he’d taken the tradition to heart and now he couldn’t imagine welcoming the new year without it.
But if he was going out, he had to take a bodyguard. He could always ask Big. While the bodyguard had been initially thrown off by Chay’s casual tone and use of the honorific “phi” when he spoke to him, he’d since accepted his eccentricities. He'd quickly become one of the few bodyguards to not treat him like a burden those first couple months as he learned to navigate his new world. Most of the bodyguards were better around him now, but Big has always remained his favorite.
Making up his mind, he hauled himself up off the bed to go change. He sent a text to Big asking him if he was available to go out. It only took a minute before he got a reply confirming that he was free to take Chay out. Chay finished changing and grabbed his wallet before heading downstairs. Big was already waiting for him at the front door, a small SUV parked in the driveway.
“Good afternoon Khun Porchay, where are we going today?” Big greeted him with a polite wai.
Chay rolled his eyes, returning the gesture. Despite telling him a thousand times not to call him khun, Big still did it every time until Chay asked him not to. He honestly wasn’t sure if that was trauma from dealing with the family for so long before Porsche and Chay arrived or just to tease him.
“To the mall and you know you don’t have to call me that phi,” Chay groaned, “I’m just Chay.”
“I’ve told you the same thing about the honorific, yet you keep calling me phi.”
“You helped save my life, calling you phi is the least I can do since you won’t accept my thanks in any other way.”
“I was just doing my job, nothing to thank me for.”
The familiar conversation made Chay smile, they had this one a lot. It almost felt like a secret handshake between friends at this point. Chay climbed into the back of the car and Big got into the driver seat. It wasn’t long before they were pulling into the parking lot of the closest mall to the compound. The shops here used to make his head spin as most of them were designer and cost way more that Chay could have ever afforded in his previous life. Now it felt familiar, though he wasn’t quite sure when his mindset had made the shift.
They spent the next couple of hours exploring the mall looking for the perfect gift for Porsche. He kept holding things up to Big who’d shrug or comment if Kinn had already given him something similar. Chay was starting to get annoyed with Kinn. He needed to be able to give his brother things too damnit. He finally settled on a bottle of a very nice cologne Porsche liked. He also grabbed a small nicknack depicting two brothers hugging on impulse. The statuette was closer to what he probably would’ve gotten back when money was a problem for them and it made him smile fondly.
After insisting on buying himself and Big a meal at one of the restaurants lining the streets around the mall, they made their way back to the compound. Chay quickly took the items up to his room to hide them before Porsche appeared around a corner and spoiled the surprise. He glanced around his room, wondering where to put the items. Porsche had a habit of visiting when Chay least expected it due to his weird mafia schedule. He opened his closet and noticed one of the drawers he never uses.
“Perfect,” he grinned, opening it up and peering inside to make sure it was empty.
He stopped short at the sight of a long, skinny red box tied with a white bow. He’d forgotten all about that gift. It was for Kim back when they were together. He’d saved up for weeks to buy it and was so nervous to give it to him. He’d wanted to bring Kim in on his and Porsche’s tradition of gift giving on new years, but then it had all fallen apart. He hadn’t found the strength to get rid of it so he must have hidden it from himself in here and eventually forgotten about it.
He gently lifted the box out like it might explode and bury him under all the feelings he’d overcome during the last year. He’d put the pain, heartache and loss behind him. He still felt sad from time to time when he played the guitar Kim gave him, but the wound was mostly healed now. He just felt a little empty. He had plenty of people around him all the time and hia was back, but he still felt the echo of something missing. Kim had been such a big part of his life for so long, it made sense that cutting him, and therefore Wik, out of his life would leave a big hole he didn’t quite know how to fill.
After weeks of ignoring his messages and the song he received, Kim had gotten the message and left him alone. He never saw him at the compound, in fact he hadn't seen him at all since the club. He wondered if Kim was just that good at timing his visits for when Chay was gone or if he had stopped coming completely. Khun’s complaints about his absent baby brother hadn’t indicated that the behavior of staying away was anything new.
“Kim never visits,” Khun would huff, “You are a much nicer little brother than mine, N’Chay. You appreciate your big brother Khun.”
Maybe it was time to see Kim again. He could give him the gift, explain why he bought it and go on his way. It didn’t need to mean the same thing he’d bought it for anymore. It didn’t deserve to sit in a box forgotten forever because of what happened.
Khun and Kinn were throwing a new years celebration at the compound like they had last year. The brothers had explained it was a tradition for them to spend the day together. They always invited their father out of obligation, but he apparently rarely ever stayed for more than 5 minutes to wish them a happy new year before disappearing into his study, if he showed up at all.
Kim hadn’t come last year, but Chay had honestly been too relieved that he didn't have to deal with him to ask questions or care. Nobody else had mentioned Kim either. They all knew what he had done by that point so they had probably decided Kim was a topic best left alone in his presence.
Chay put Porsche’s present into the drawer and shut it. Maybe he should get something for Kinn and Khun as well to help cover why he had a present for Kim and not anyone else. He grabbed his phone and opened up some of his go-to shopping sites for them. He scrolled away for a couple hours before making his choice. He ordered a gaudy gold and teal robe for Khun and a nice watch for Kinn. He just hoped he didn’t have this one already. He knew it would probably end up on his brother’s wrist at some point either way. Against Big’s wishes, he ordered a decorative knife for the bodyguard too. He’d give it to him in private at some point as to not draw attention to it.
His new years shopping complete, Chay got ready for bed and slipped under the covers. He hoped everyone would like their gifts, including Kim. He hoped he wouldn’t turn him away and reject the gift like he’d rejected him. Hopefully he’d have a better chance at surviving the encounter since their family would be in the room with them.
After Porsche found out what was causing Chay’s rebellious streak he’d wanted to hunt Kim down and kill him. Chay had just narrowly managed to avoid that happening with the help of Kinn. Still, he’d apparently managed to get his hands on Kim after a business meeting with Korn and told him off. Chay doubted Kim would risk rejecting Chay’s gift while standing within firing range of Porsche. At least, he hoped so. It would kind of suck if they welcomed the new year with a fight.
He rolled over and glanced at where the box was hidden again. He remembered being so excited to buy it, but now it just felt like a chore he hadn’t finished yet. Well, it would be over soon and the last hanging thread of his time with Kim would finally be put to rest.
* * *
~1 Year Ago~
Chay felt like he was on cloud nine walking down the street of an outdoor market with Kim. Their hands were intertwined and Kim was looking around like he’d never been to a street market before. Chay realized he probably had been, just not to one like this. This market was in one of the poorer areas of Bangkok, filled with people barely making enough money to scrape by. There weren’t any overpriced fruit booths or people selling designer bags. It was mostly old tables filled with unprepared fruit, handmade or second hand clothes, and stalls of cheap, though delicious, homemade food and desserts. The atmosphere was loud and the air thick from all the different scents warring for their attention.
“See anything you want?” Kim asked, glancing at a stall where P’Prahong was selling the clothes she sewed at home.
Chay could tell Kim was a bit out of his element, but trying to hide it for his sake. He looked a little out of place as well in his designer clothes and silver jewelry that just screamed money. Nobody should give them any issues here though, tourists weren’t too frequent through here so the pickpockets didn’t usually hit up this particular market.
Chay laughed, “I just mainly come here for the people.”
Kim cocked an eyebrow, “The people?”
“Yeah, where else can a broke high school student go for fun where spending money just to get in isn’t required? Ohm and I used to spend hours just looking at everything.”
Based on his confused face, the idea of shopping without buying anything was a bit novel to Kim.
“We liked to talk with the sellers and sometimes one of the aunties would give us some snacks for free. Usually when they were just a little too ugly or burnt to actually sell.”
Kim then seemed to make it his mission to buy Chay just about anything he touched or looked at for too long. Chay wanted to scold him, but he liked the feeling of being spoiled by his boyfriend just a little too much. Plus the money was going to people he knew needed it, so it wasn't too bad. He still couldn’t believe he actually got to call Kim his boyfriend. So many years staring at him through a screen would do that though.
They were just leaving a stand with a new jacket for him to wear to school when a man running recklessly through the crowd hit Kim’s arm, almost sending him to the ground. Kim’s arm jerked back like it was caught on something, but the tension quickly snapped allowing his arm to drop back to his side. Kim crouched down as Chay turned to call out to the man.
“Hey! Slow down!” Chay shouted at the man.
“Sorry!” the man yelled back over his shoulder, “I’m late!”
Chay huffed, “Asshole. Are you alright, P’Kim?”
That’s when he noticed Kim was holding something in his hand. It was the gold chain bracelet with three small black diamonds that he was always wearing. It didn’t match any of his other jewelry with Kim preferring silver, so Chay had often wondered about it and why he wore it. He just hadn’t quite worked up the courage to ask about it yet.
“Shit, did he break it?” Chay asked, noting that the clasp was still done up but it wasn’t a circle anymore.
“Yeah, he did. Must have gotten caught on his bag,” Kim frowned, finger running over the diamonds, “My brother got this for me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry P’Kim. Maybe we can take it somewhere to be fixed?”
Kim hummed, but it didn’t really sound like he was paying attention. Chay took a moment to study his boyfriend’s face. He’d never seen him look this genuinely upset before. There was something oddly delicate, almost broken about his expression. It made Chay want to take care of him for once.
“Maybe it’s better off broken,” he said almost too quietly to hear over the noise of the crowd around them, “I don’t know why I’m still even wearing the damn thing. I stopped wearing gold years ago.”
“Your brother got it for you. It’s special.”
“We were out together at a mall downtown when he got it for me. I asked him about the occasion and he said there wasn’t one. He’d just seen it and thought it would suit me.”
“If it can’t be fixed, maybe now he can buy you a new silver one to match your other jewelry.”
Kim shook his head and Chay could see the pain and sadness in his eyes, “We’re not that close anymore Chay. I haven’t received anything from my brothers in years. Not since I moved out of my family home when I was 16. I think they resent me for leaving to create Wik. I know my father does.”
Chay felt his heart break for his boyfriend. No matter how destitute their prospects were, Porsche always found some way to give Chay little things throughout the year to show he was thinking about him, that he loved him. He also never resented him for wanting to follow his dreams. It’s why he was so supportive of Chay’s decision to join the music program when he knew a more business related major would be a more financially stable option. He worked three jobs for years just for him to be able to live that dream. He couldn’t imagine how hard it was for Kim to have to grapple with school and his music dream without his family.
Kim stared at the broken bracelet for a minute longer before shaking his head and pocketing it, clearing his throat awkwardly, “Well, nothing to be done about it right now anyway. I’m getting hungry. Do you want to check out the food stalls or maybe a restaurant nearby?”
Chay could tell Kim was trying to change the subject, but he let him, moving towards the food section of the market. Chay didn’t bring up Kim’s family again for the rest of the day, even though he wanted to understand more of what his family was like. Hurt like that wasn’t meant to be buried for so long. Maybe it explained why he was so private about certain aspects of his life despite Chay being his boyfriend for almost a month now. He probably wasn’t used to having anyone to share stuff with.
A couple days later, Chay went to the nearby mall to price out how much it would be to replace. He knew replacing it exactly was impossible, but he could probably manage a simple silver chain and maybe even a few small lab grown diamonds if he was lucky. The woman running the shop was kind and helped him look at various items in the store. When she showed him a simple thin silver chain with three white diamonds inlaid in it, he knew he’d found the best one he could afford. He thanked her and promised to be back as soon as he could.
Two months passed and finally he had enough to buy the bracelet. He’d been doing odd jobs for the aunties at the market for weeks while Kim was extra busy with his Wik engagements. Chay had been invited to most of them and he had attended a couple, but he declined some of the more business related outings in favor of trying to save up more money. He didn’t have a lot of time if he wanted the bracelet to still be there when he was ready and if he wanted to give it to Kim on new years eve.
The same woman was across the counter when he finally returned with the money in hand. She smiled and greeted him by name when he entered. He felt a little embarrassed that she remembered him so easily, but he guessed it was only to be expected when he called every week for the last two months to make sure the bracelet was still available.
“Sawadee-kah N’Porchay. Are you here for the bracelet?” she asked, already moving towards the front.
“Yes, Khun Sua,” Chay greeted her, trying to hide how nervous he was in his wai, “I’m sure you’ll be happy to stop answering the same call every week.”
“Oh, I didn’t mind it one bit,” she replied, reaching into a locked cabinet behind the counter and pulling out the bracelet, “I rarely get any young men in here who work so hard to make their partner happy. Most of them come look, see the price and then don’t come back. This Kim of yours must mean a lot to you.”
Chay blushed as he nodded. He was slightly confused as to why the bracelet was behind the counter and not out on display.
“Khun Sua, why wasn’t the bracelet out where I saw it originally?”
“Well, after your second call I figured what was the harm in putting it away for a couple weeks,” she explained, acting like it was no big deal.
“You kept it special for me?” Chay was shocked and moved by her kindness.
“It was no bother. You seemed so determined to earn enough to buy it. I couldn’t let it go to just anyone.”
Chay smiled, holding the cash out to her, “Well, I finally did it. There should be enough there for it.”
Sua took the money and carefully counted it out on the table. Chay tried to keep himself still as he waited for her verdict. He knew logically that it was all there having counted and recounted it himself many times before coming in here, but he was still scared. This was the most expensive thing he’d ever bought in his life.
“Yes,” she announced, “It’s all here. The bracelet is yours.”
Chay’s heart swelled at the same time he felt like he could finally breathe a sigh of relief.
“Would you like to have it gift wrapped?” she asked, placing the money in the cash drawer.
“Oh, I just have enough for the bracelet. I’m sure I’ll be able to find a bag somewhere for it,” he declined, the wrapping wasn’t what mattered after all.
She glanced at the decorative red boxes and white ribbon beside her and then started wrapping it anyway.
“Khun Sua, you don’t have to-”
“Nonsense, it’s on the house,” she cut him off, “I watched you spend two months earning the money for this. Consider the wrapping as my gift to you for being such a sweet, hardworking boy. I wish I had a boyfriend who worked this hard to make sure I was happy.”
Chay needed to get out of here before the heat generated by his blush melted the glass cases. He happily accepted the red box neatly tied shut with a beautiful white ribbon. He thanked her profusely and left the store. He didn’t let it leave his hand for even a second all the way back to his house where he hid it in his room. He couldn’t wait to give it to Kim on new years.