Archive of Our Own ^beta

Viktor wakes with a gasp so deep it hurts his ribs. He feels the air rush into his unimpeded lungs. His old body newly spun from the web of the cosmos - and deeply sore. A clear blue sky lies above him, blurred a bit by his own dizziness - by the pain in his head. The memories of what just occurred come rushing back to him just as he feels a comforting hand on his cheek. Jayce. Jayce. Jayce. 

"Hey. Hey. It's okay. It's okay. We're alive." 

Jayce. His voice so gentle. His hands so soft. He looks the same as he did on the battlefield, just in their old academy uniform. Viktor doesn't know how they ended up in these forms or why. Perhaps, as he sought out comfort in his final moments, the very universe itself reflected the best of his memories. Viktor notes the brace over Jayce's leg. In Viktor's own new/old body, he doesn't wear his own. Odd, how things change. 

Viktor gets the distinct feeling he's going to throw up. 

He pushes Jayce's hand away, rolls on his side, and does just that, right into the grass beside him. 

"It's alright, Viktor, you'll be alright. I threw up my first time too." 

Rolling around, he lays his cheek on the cool grass. 

They're alive. They're alive. They're alive. 

He was supposed to die.

"Where-" he gasps. "Where are we." 

"I think this is the place you - or - the older you - took my mother and I when you saved us," Jayce says."But we're in a different reality. I can... feel it. Can't you?"

Yes. He can. This is not their world. He knows it intrinsically. A prickle at the back of his neck. He wonders, scientifically, what's actually occurring within the body to make him feel this way.  

Viktor sits up, and when he finally sets his eyes on Jayce, it's like staring straight into the sun. Bright and beautiful and warming and so so painful.  His eyes are so gentle. They've returned to their familiar, pretty hazel. There's affection in every feature. Warm and bright. He looks happy. But he shouldn't be. Because he sacrificed everything to stay with Viktor and now he's stuck with him. Probably for the rest of their lives. Cosmically bound to a monster.  

Jayce puts a gentle hand on Viktor's shoulder. Viktor feels strange. Different. The arcane no longer runs through him. He absently puts a hand on Jayce's, the shock of everything making his head feel slow and sludgy. 

"We're alive, V," Jayce says. And he sounds so happy. And Viktor's going to be sick again. He doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve any of it. 

He shrugs Jayce off and stands, flinching at the feeling of his leg. He's able to stand and walk without a cane, but not far - much like it was in his late twenties. When he was with Jayce, in the lab. Before he got put on the council. When he was at his happiest. 

"Shit," Jayce says, "Your leg. I can - hold on. I can find something we can use." 

Viktor barely hears him. He's thinking of a sea of connected minds - all distressed and wanting in their own ways - a misguided mission to bring perfection to the world - to ease all suffering. The agonized stone faces in Jayce's alternate universe. Terrorized. Plundered. The sea of people ready to be turned into mindless machines. The carnage. The endless, lonely void, stretching for an eternity. The stone statue of his beloved, hammer in head, perched and guarded at the top of the world. 

He only realizes he's hyperventilating when Jayce wraps him in his arms. And he doesn't deserve it but he allows it anyway because he's loathsome and afraid. And he lets Jayce guide his breath, trying to follow the rhythm he sets, feeling the way it rises and falls against his own, tethering him to this new plane.

He shouldn't be alive. But he can't leave Jayce. Not here. Not alone. So he stays in the man's arms until his breathing evens out. 

"Sorry," Viktor can't look at him. 

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Jayce says. Viktor flinches. 

There's so much to be sorry for. And he's never been good at using his words. He has no idea how or where to even start. 

***

Viktor sits on a tree stump and watches the stream as Jayce tries to make him a cane out of a sturdy branch. It feels impossible to begin to process the love Jayce holds for him. The blue sky. The beautiful mountain peaks stretching into the horizon. 

He doesn’t want to hurt Jayce. But he has no idea how to accept something so undeserved. He watches as Jayce comes up to him with a well-outfitted stick. He’s tied his cravat around the top of it to create a little handhold. The overgrown strands of his hair fall loosely on his forehead. He walks with a bit of a limp himself now. The way he flinches when he takes an uneven step doesn't go unnoticed. Viktor may try to show him to use his own cane, should he so wish.

Jayce seems unbothered by the fact that they’re in the middle of nowhere. No food. No water. No money. No knowledge if there are even other people alive on this plane. 

“How’s this?” He asks.

In truth, it’s flimsy, and he knows he’ll be in pain by the end of the day. But it’s the right height and it's far better than nothing. 

“It will work,” Viktor says, “Thank you.”

Jayce smiles. Puts a hand on Viktor’s shoulder. He’s touching him so much, now. And Viktor can’t help but return it, knowing he can, knowing how good it feels. How much Jayce thrives on it. 

“So umm. Do you think we should try finding like. Civilization? Or a place to stay if there is one? I vaguely remember how my mom and I got to Piltover from here. It was. Away from the mountains. There should be a trail nearby. Its a few days walk but there are inns and houses and stuff.”

Viktor nods.

“You set the pace,” he says.

***

Jayce follows behind Viktor as they begin their walk through the woods. Between the two of them, its slow work, navigating through the woods. Jayce's leg is unhappy with him, pain flaring up every time he steps on uneven ground. 

They'll be okay. They have to be. They'll be just fine. He has to be strong right now. For Viktor's sake. He can't think of what he's left behind. He has his partner back. He has his partner back. And he held him in his arms at the end of the world and brought him back to himself. That's all that matters. For now. One foot in front of the other. 

Viktor's definitely in some sort of shock. He seems plagued and haunted by it all. Jayce doesn't know what to say, if there's anything he could say, to make this better for him. To ease the burden. But he wants to more than anything. 

Viktor stops ahead of him. 

"Look," he says. Some of the tension in his shoulders eases. 

It's a footpath. 

"It appears other people exist. So... you aren't stuck with just me for the rest of your life," Viktor says. And that just can't do. Jayce gets a hold of Viktor's shoulder and gently encourages him to turn around. Viktor does so, not making eye contact. 

"Stop that," Jayce says. "I chose you, Viktor. In death. Life. A potential eternal cosmic time-loop hell. All I wanted was to be with you." Any reality where I had to mourn you again would have been worse.  

Viktor looks up at him briefly then quickly looks away. 

"I..." he starts. Jayce has never seen Viktor so overwhelmed. Defeated. Making himself so small. It's heartbreaking. "Alright. Sorry." 

He turns around and keeps walking. Jayce tries to relish in the fact that he can see Viktor's beautiful face again. Those eyes restored to that beautiful amber. His mole back under his eye. 

Jayce knows Viktor enough to know he probably feels he doesn't deserve Jayce's kindness. It's part of the reason he's always been so insistent on suffering alone. What he doesn't know how to do is show him he's wrong. That he deserves everything. 

"Don't be sorry," Jayce says, watching as Viktor keeps walking. They take plenty of breaks on their stroll through the woods. Viktor barely says a word. Jayce allows him the silence he clearly wants. Then, he sees it. Smoke billowing up ahead. 

"Viktor," Jayce says. "Look!" 

***

Viktor follows the smoke and soon they find themselves at a place called "Woodside Inn and Lodgings."  A sloppily hand carved wood sign out front. Handpainted wooden ducks lining the pathway. A main lobby and an assortment of small cabins behind it. A clearing in the center with picnic tables. Stables. A river flowing in the back of the lot. A garden. Viktor frowns. It's quite old fashioned. Quite unlike what one might expect should they be so close to Piltover. 

"It's...charming," Jayce says. 

"I wonder if this reality is not as advanced?" Viktor asks. Jayce comes up behind him. Puts a hand on his shoulder. Viktor leans into it. 

"Perhaps," he says. 

"What if..." Viktor swallows. "What if they don't speak our language?" 

"We can't be that far back. Look at the metal railings on the staircase." 

Of course. Their precision, and the pattern within them, indicate a likely factory make. 

"They might not speak it for other reasons. It's a different world," Viktor counters.

They watch as another person emerges from one of the cabins. He's wearing very simple clothes. A white shirt. Brown slacks. Very natural-looking fibers. The person pauses and stares at them from across the way before heading over to the stables. Their academy uniforms likely look strange in this world. 

"Come on," Jayce says. "Let's find out." 

They make their way into the lobby. The fireplace crackles inside. An elderly woman stands behind a counter. She has kind eyes. 

"Oh!" She says. Viktor holds his breath. "Hello! How may I help you today." 

Jayce and Viktor both let out a collective sigh of relief. 

"My partner and I got... lost..." he says. She gives them a once over with a look that says 'I can tell.' Viktor lingers on the word partner. The lack of context of their being lab partners will give this woman a very different impression of their relationship. An impression Viktor doesn't mind in the slightest. 

"Oh dear. You poor things." She says. "Harry!" 

An elderly man comes in from another room. He gives her a smile. 

"These two boys are lost. Do we have a place to put them up? And a map? Some spare clothes. And some food." 

"Well, sure!" He says. "What unique clothing." 

"It's a uhh... long story," Jayce says. "I can do some favors around the place for you if you'd like. We don't have money, and we'll get it to you, but we have to find our bearings first." 

"Don't worry about that, dearie," she says. "Harry and I do our best to take in who we can. I'm Fera, by the way. You can catch me behind this very desk most of the day." 

Her kindness overwhelms. Viktor wonders if, in the other universe, she became a part of his hivemind. If he.... evolved her. In how many universes he killed this sweet couple. How many people like them he turned to empty husks. Suddenly, he feels quite faint. He leans on the makeshift cane for support. Jayce continues to exchange pleasantries with the two of them. Viktor fixates on the wood floor. His vision starts to blur. He wonders if the people he hurt - in their final moments - ever wanted to break free. He wonders if they died holding each other, like those bodies he saw in Jayce's vision of the future. If they suffered. If - 

"V? Viktor?" Viktor blinks and looks upward, meeting the soothing hazel of Jayce's eyes. Jayce's brow is furrowed in worry. The hand that settles on Viktor's lower back serves as an anchor point.  "You're shaking. Let's get you settled, huh?" Jayce turns to Harry and Fera. "Thank you so much." 

Jayce ushers Viktor inside their little cabin. It's small. A single bed. A little woodburning stove to keep them warm. Electric lamps. Viktor sits on the couch by the wood-burning stove. Jayce throws a blanket over him. He lights up the stove before kneeling before him. So so kind. As always.  

"You can talk to me, V. When you're ready." 

How do you describe the well of despair that comes with knowing you nearly became a destroyer of a world you always wanted to help? That there are multiple realities where you did destroy it. Where you are the ultimate evil? Where you killed the man you loved the most? Took away your own shining star when all he wanted to do was bring you back to yourself.

How do you articulate it when your stance of non-violence has been a guiding principle for so long? When nothing but a little magic could make you lose your way so completely? So totally? On top of it all, how do you deal with all the horrendous, all-encompassing, maddening love still raging within you when you know, somehow, against all odds, it's returned? When you know you didn't even deserve it before you nearly ruined everything? 

Viktor wants Jayce to kiss him. To wrap him in his arms and never let go. To take him outside and drown him in the river. Die lovingly and mercifully by his hand and stay gone this time. Instead, he just lets Jayce sit here and fuss. Take Viktor's hand in his, and stroke his thumbs over the knuckles. A knock at the door startles them both. Viktor stares at the fire. Distantly hears Jayce chatting to Harry. He comes back with a tray of food. Some soup. Some water. A map. A bag full of clothes and toiletries. 

Jayce puts Viktor's soup and water on the side table next to him. Viktor drinks the water in bigger gulps. It's been a long time since he's had the need for it. He stares at Jayce as Jayce stares at the map. His eyes overwhelmed. 

"Piltover doesn't exist..." he says. A hushed gasp. "Barely anything we know does." 

Viktor takes the map from him. Sure enough, there are a lot of settlements and towns with completely different names. There is a city where Piltover would be called Emberwood. It's much smaller. Yet still one of the bigger cities on the map. This world is less populated. Less developed. Viktor freezes. 

"We don't have to figure out everything right now," Jayce says. "Where to go or what to do. Maybe we should just - rest for a few days." 

Viktor can't even fathom trying to plan out his next steps. It's almost as if Jayce knows this. Anticipates it. 

"I think that may be wise," Viktor says. "It is not every day you are ejected by an arcane inter-dimensional time travel paradox into another dimension." 

Jayce beams. Viktor realizes it's the first joke he's made since they've woken up. 

"Eat," he says. "Please." 

Usually, Viktor would protest. Snap at him. Tell him he's a grown man who's very capable of taking care of himself. But he's far too exhausted. And has already caused enough hurt. So he takes a spoonful of soup and keeps his mouth shut.

***

Jayce ensures Viktor stays warm by the fire. He wishes more than anything he could just hold him. Take him into his lap. Plant some careful kisses to his head. Let him feel how loved he is. How he doesn't have to bear this alone. After sunset, Fera comes by to check in and lets them know where the baths are. 

Jayce follows her outside.

"Thank you. And if there's anything we can do for you tomorrow, let me know," he says.

"A few of our roofs need repairing," she says. "It would be a dear help." 

"I'm there," Jayce says, "anything you need. You're doing so much for us."

Fera nods politely. 

"It's no trouble, dear boy. You poor dears seemed so lost. How is he doing?" 

She gestures to the house. The concern is clear on her features. 

"He's alright," Jayce says, "I need to fashion him a better cane, if you could spare the materials. I know we've asked a lot of you already." 

"Ah. Harry can help you with that first thing in the morning," she says. "You must be quite the craftsman." 

"I was," Jayce says. 

They say their goodbyes. Jayce appreciates how she hasn't tried to pry. The moment Fera steps out of sight, he gets a prickling anxiety on the back of his neck. He needs Viktor in his line of sight. Now. He flings open the door and finds Viktor in the same spot. The soup is half eaten, which is good. He still has that far-away, haunted look in his eye. Jayce yawns. Notices the way Viktor's eyes droop. 

"Hey," Jayce says. "You wanna head to bed? It's been a - uh. Long day." 

Viktor sighs and nods. Jayce watches as he gets out of his waistcoat. His cravat. He realizes what he's doing and looks away. He quickly strips to his briefs, fighting with his brace, and crawls into bed. He flinches when he lands on his leg wrong. Above him, Viktor notices.

"I wonder if you'd benefit from trying a cane," he says with a certain gentleness that he rarely uses. "I could help you, if you'd like." 

Jayce swallows. He's been able to get around just fine for the most part. But maybe for bad days. 

"Alright," Jayce says. "Thank you." 

The bed is small. Viktor gets in mostly clothed.  Still in his shirt and pants.  Jayce turns off the lamp. The small cabin remains only lit by the moonlight outside. 

"Viktor," Jayce says "You can get comfortable. You don't have to stay dressed." 

This would usually result in Viktor quirking a brow at him, but he just stays still. Slowly undresses. Jayce stares at the ceiling. This is all so intimate, but so fragile. Viktor is clearly in distress. Jayce also has a lingering panic in the back of his mind. He wants a lot of things. But he mostly just wants to hold him close. To feel him alive and present and safe in his arms. 

"V..." Jayce says, "If you want, you could, come closer. If you - want." 

Viktor freezes for a moment, clearly contemplating. Before Jayce knows it, he's scooting backward, pressing himself into Jayce's chest. Oh thank gods.  Jayce has needed this all day. It's such a relief his eyes start to sting. 

Jayce smells the old mint shampoo Viktor used to use during their academy days - before either of them had much of a salary. The salt on Viktor's skin. Feels Viktor's ribcage expanding and contracting as he breathes in Jayce's arms. Jayce allows himself to wrap an arm around Viktor's waist. Settles his hand upwards towards his heart. He can feel it. That beautiful heart. Beating in his chest. Jayce feels the way the pace increases as Jayce settles his hand above it. 

"We'll... we'll be okay, V," Jayce says. And he's not sure if he's reassuring himself as well. Viktor puts a hand over Jayce's. Jayce feels his breath stutter. He never thought he could have this. Never in a million years. Viktor's grip is tight. Almost painfully so, like he's worried they're back in that void. That Jayce will drift away again under the sheer power of the rune stone. He lets the sounds of Viktor's steady breaths lull him to sleep. 

***

Every time Viktor closes his eyes, he sees nothing but a sea of agonized faces as flesh turns to metal. He sees Jayce approaching him, hammer in hand. He sees his hands on Jayce's throat. The infinite field of stolen minds, hovering like golden ghosts in the void. He can't sleep. 

Once Jayce settles, he finds himself sneaking out of his embrace. He can't take it. At first it was a comfort, but now it feels like a burn. Too kind considering it all. Considering that it was so recently Viktor was trying to hurt him. Change him. 

He puts on his clothes and sneaks out into the night. He wants to sit by the river. He wants to scream.

He finds a spot near the river just behind their cabin to sit, leaning his makeshift cane against a tree. He can't help himself. He muffles a yell into his own palm. It's too much. It's too much. It's too much. 

He watches the river rush by. Black in the night. The moonlight reflected off the water's surface. Always moving. Never the same. Not even for a moment. How lovely it must be.

***

Jayce kneels in a dark void, leg hurting under the pressure. His mother stands across from him. She looks at him yet says nothing. She just walks further into the dark. Jayce is about to chase after her, but he can't move. He is stone. He can't speak. His hammer is clasped in his hands. His mother stands in front of him now, as if appearing from the fog. She has tears in his eyes. 

"He always was quite troubled," she says to someone Jayce can't see. 

"He was," it's Caitlyn. She wears a gas mask. 

He wants to yell wait! I'm right here! Help me! 

But he's stone. Only an observer. 

Caitlyn leaves flowers at his feet.  

"Is he at peace?" his mother asks. 

"Of course," Caitlyn says, "Just look at him." 

The two walk away into the dark. Viktor's nowhere to be found. Jayce's heart is in his throat. He doesn't want to let them go. He loves them and they're just leaving like that. Like nothing. Like smoke in the breeze. And suddenly he wants to cry out Mama! Wait! Like a little boy afraid of the dark.

But he is stone. 

Jayce wakes with a gasp. He's in the cabin. But Viktor isn't there. So the panic doesn't stop. He bursts out the door, nearly buckling under the pain in his leg. 

"Viktor!" he shouts. No answer. 

What if Viktor's presence was a dream? What if the paradox took him? What if he's back in the void? What if he's gone and Jayce is alone and - 

"Viktor!" He yells. 

"...Jayce?" 

Jayce lets out a gasping breath of relief. Stumbling forward towards him. 

"Viktor! Where are you!" 

"By the river. Here.." 

Jayce sees him sitting there, in his button-up and slacks, staring out at the water. He rushes at him, and stumbles downward. Sitting in the dirt just to take that horrible pressure off his leg, He grabs at Viktor's shirt and pulls Viktor into his arms. Viktor gasps into it. Reciprocates the hug much faster than he usually does. 

"I thought -" and gods, Jayce is tearing up, "I thought - I woke up and - I - you weren't there and I - I thought you were gone-" 

Viktor grips him tighter, which makes it impossible for the tears not to fall out of his eyes. 

"I'm here Jayce. I'm ... I'm so sorry... I'm here. I'm here." 

Jayce just grips at him for dear life. Crinkling up his shirt and burying his face into Viktor's neck. 

"I couldn't sleep," Viktor says, his voice rough and shaky. 

Jayce lets himself be lulled into a calm by the way Viktor's hand strokes up and down his back. Long fingers trailing over his spine. When he pulls apart, Viktor looks at him with a worried brow. 

"m'sorry," Jayce says. 

"hush," Viktor says. 

This time, Viktor pulls him in, and something inside Jayce just gives. He slumps forward. Melts into the other man's arms. 

"Let's get inside. You must be cold," Viktor says. "Where's your brace?" 

"I - I forgot it," Jayce whispers, voice still cracked. He still feels so split down the center.  

"Lean on me." 

"Oh - okay." 

***

In the morning, Jayce decides it's important to let Viktor have his space. He worries if he continues to stay with Viktor, leaving him behind even for an hour is going to feel impossible. Terrifying. So so lonely. Viktor immediately borrows some paper and begins writing down various theories about the reality they've landed themselves in. Jayce quickly takes his measurements, then goes into Harry and Fera's work shed to meet Harry to get the tools. 

Harry's a sweet older man. Very intent on helping and listening. Unfortunately, he's also very curious. Unlike Fera. He's happy to pry. 

"Where did you two boys come from?" he asks as Jayce saws down some wood. 

"That's quite a complicated story," Jayce says. He has to give him something. "We met in school together. Have studied together ever since." 

"What have you studied?" 

This might be as good of a time as any to test the waters. 

"Engineering mostly. And magic." 

Harry laughs. Alright. Odd sign. But a confirmation of something Jayce has already wondered.

This is a world without magic. 

He's felt it. The lack of the arcane. And it would make sense, for a paradox to drop them in an impossible place. It means a lot of things. It means this is their home now. That there's no hope of getting back. 

Jayce carves out the cane from a block of wood. Lovingly crafting it by hand. Coating it in weather protectant. He checks on Viktor from time to time. Viktor seems very much the same. Tells him new bits of information he's learned from the newspaper. Jayce holds off on the 'no magic' piece. Because he wants to be sure. Usually, he'd hypothesize away. But this is so huge. And Viktor is in such a state. 

When he's finally finished with the Cane, he presents it to Viktor. 

"Here," he says. "Try this." 

Viktor grabs it. Walks around. 

"It's... much better. Thank you, Jayce." 

Jayce beams. He'll never tire of the way Viktor says his name. 

"What have you been working on?" Jayce asks. 

"I've been... trying to figure out what kind of reality we may have landed ourselves in. I believe it's safe to say we're on the same planet considering the map, but under different circumstances," Viktor says. "Fera came by this morning. I managed to get the year out of her without seeming too suspicious. We're in the same time it seems. However! I've come to the conclusion that we're living in a world -"

"-without the arcane?" Jayce says. Viktor pouts. 

"Sorry. Sorry. I just figured it out too," Jayce says. "Or, I hypothesized."

And he's reminded of their old times in the lab. Finishing each other's sentences. Accidentally stealing each other's trains of thoughts.

It seems Viktor feels the same. He softens a bit. Sits down. He seems in a slightly better mood. Perhaps working on this was helpful to him. But then his expression darkens. 

"Something so massively different. I doubt anybody we know exists," Viktor says. "The butterfly effect is just too powerful. If piltover doesn't exist... well..." 

Jayce swallows a lump in his throat. 

"I know," he says. 

It's deeply unlikely that anyone they know exists. 

Viktor looks at the floor. He blinks rapidly. 

"Jayce..." Viktor says. "I am... so sorry. For everything. I... I completely lost myself." 

The sound of Viktor's voice cracking has Jayce feeling like he might collapse. He grabs at Viktor's hand. 

"Viktor..." Jayce says, "I'm sorry. I had no idea how much you were going through before the attack. And then after... I get it now. I used the hexcore against your wishes. I just couldn't let you die." 

"You should've," Viktor chokes. "I'm a.... I'm terrible, Jayce. You saw what I've done. Across realities. What I did." 

Jayce is trying to fathom what to say. He can tell Viktor's struggling so so much under the weight of it all. Viktor puts his head in his hands. 

"The best thing you ever did was shooting me through the chest." 

No. no. no. That slices through Jayce like a hot iron. 

"The best thing I ever did was come here with you," Jayce says. "You aren't terrible, V. You were corrupted by this thing. You were barely in there. I could tell." 

"I was... present enough. It's not as if it took me over completely," Viktor sniffs. "I have all my memories intact, after all."

"I cannot think of a person more worthy of a second chance than you," Jayce says. He takes Viktor's hand. And he can tell Viktor's blinking away tears. 

"Jayce..." 

"Just listen. You've always has such a good, big, kind heart. You've always wanted to do whats right. Always had your eye on helping others, even when I was busy losing my way -" 

"But all I've done," Viktor mutters, and Jayce has never heard his voice sound so broken. He's escalating. Clearly trying to hold back tears. But he can't help it once he continues to speak. "Is cause so much death and suffering." 

His voice breaks as he begins to sob. No. no. no. It's a horrible sound. He's trying to mask it. Quiet himself. He stands up and faces the corner, hugging his arms around himself as if to self-soothe. Jayce doesn't want to push him. But he can't stand it. Can't stand seeing him like this. Viktor is a kind, beautiful man who got corrupted by something too ancient and powerful for either of them to fully grasp. After Jayce imbued him with it. Because he couldn't live without him. 

Jayce puts an arm on Viktor's shoulder. Viktor flinches away.

"Don't -" he gasps. "I don't -" 

He goes stiff, and before Jayce knows what's happening, Viktor throws himself on him, clinging onto his shirt and completely breaking down. A litany of little sobs. And gods, Jayce hates to see him like this. He's never seen Viktor cry, let alone like this. He's shaking and weeping and sniffling and gasping for breath. Jayce gently cradles him in his arms and brings him into bed. Lets him cry. Runs his hands through his hair. He keeps mumbling incoherent little I'm sorrys that Jayce shushes away. This was a long time coming. Even before the council attack. 

"Viktor," Jayce says, once Viktor calms down a bit, "We messed with something powerful we didn't quite understand. And you can't pretend it had nothing to do with this. It used you. This is as much on me as it is on you." 

"Is that why you're here?" he sniffs. 

"No," Jayce says, quickly. "Gods, no. I'm here because I'd go anywhere with you." 

Viktor sniffles. Shakes his head as if it's painful to hear. He rests his head on Jayce's chest and collapses further into bed. 

"The part of me that was still in there loved being a part of a hivemind. Loved the love. I felt, for once, like I was not alone, but instead a large part of a greater whole. It was not just for good, Jayce. I was greedy." 

"You were lonely," Jayce says. 

Clearly, though, whatever logic Jayce tries to level at Viktor isn't working. He thinks of something he heard the older version of Viktor say that's been replaying in his head like a song since he said it. In all timelines. In all possibilities. Only you could show me this. 

"If I lost my way, would you forgive me?" 

Viktor clutches tighter onto Jayce's shirt. He doesn't say anything, but his breathing steadies. He sniffles. Nods. And starts to relax a bit. 

"I'm sorry for being so...messy," Viktor says. The word doesn't feel quite right. 

"You aren't messy. You're human," Jayce says. 

"I think I ... I think I need a nap," Viktor says. Jayce chuckles a little and nods. Helps him get comfortable on the bed, and stays with him until his breathing steadies. Once he falls asleep, Jayce takes a moment just to stare. Those beautiful features, his strong nose and his sharp jaw and the elegant curve of those long lashes. He's red faced and puffy eyed. His mouth is slightly parted. Jayce can see the cute little gap in his teeth. 

He wants to take all of Viktor's pain and throw it somewhere he can never find again. Take that guilt and that self-doubt and forge it into something more kind with his bare hands. 

He'd love to stay here with Viktor all day, but he has a promise he needs to keep. He leaves a little note for him and goes to help Harry fix some of the roofs. 

***

When Viktor wakes up, exhausted and quite embarrassed. He cannot believe he behaved so erratically in front of Jayce. And he’s surprised that there’s a small part of him that feels… better. He finds a note lying next to him on the bed. 

Helping Harry fix the roofs on cabins 8 and 12. Please let me know if you need anything. You are incredible. We’ll find a way to make the most of our new start :)

While it doesn’t do much to solve the ever-present churning in his gut, he pulls the note closer to himself anyway. Rolls over and stares at the ceiling, flinching at the familiar feeling of pain in his leg.

He hears inn-goers and passers-by chatter outside. A bird lands on the window. A pretty little thing. A breed he doesn’t recognize. Maybe it doesn’t exist in the other reality. Perhaps it would be best to occupy his time trying to map out the differences in the flora and fauna of this world so he and Jayce could gain a better understanding of it.

With a new purpose and some spare papers, Viktor heads outside. 

The sun is still high in the mountain-lined sky. He understands why some people come here for pleasure. It’s quite serene. He never got the chance to “vacation” in his last life, but he imagines it's something like this.

“You’re no fun!” A kid says somewhere in the distance. “There’s no use in playing pretend with someone who can’t talk!”

Viktor peaks around the corner to find two kids by the riverbank. A little boy stands above a very angry kid who is desperately trying to sign. They have some toys set up. A very pretty toy carriage.

“I. DONT. KNOW. WHAT. THAT. MEANS” the boy spits. Then, in his anger, he stomps on the toy carriage.

It snaps and buckles under the pressure. He storms off. The poor child starts sobbing. Oh. Dear.

Viktor has never been good with children. He’s never had to interact with them much. He’s always afraid he’ll say the wrong thing, or mess up in some way. But clearly, nobody is coming for this child. Clearly, she's in a considerable amount of distress. She grabs the toy and starts rocking back and forth.

Viktor walks up to her. Immediately takes note of the fact that her clothes are a bit torn and raggedy. She has bloodshot golden eyes and a mess of short hair. This toy is probably one of the only she has.

“I can fix that for you if you’d like.” Viktor offers. It would be a fairly easy job. It's splintered in parts. One of the wheels has come clear off. Nothing that some glue and a few spare parts won’t fix.  He hates to ask Fera and Harry for more. But he can do a lot with very little.

The child regards him with suspicion but stops crying. Then nods. Hands Viktor the carriage. Sniffling.

“Wonderful,” Viktor says. “And… don’t listen to that boy. Clearly, he doesn’t have a proper imagination, no? I’ll get it to you shortly.”

He stands up to leave, only to find the child is intent on following him. He supposes she can tag along. He’s nervous. He hopes he doesn’t say the wrong thing. Frighten her in some way. The child follows Viktor all the way to the main cabin, then to the shed where the tools are stored, and then to the small picnic table near the trees.

When he sits, he sees Jayce on one of the roofs. He smiles and waves at him. When Viktor turns around, the child looks nervous. She tries to sign.

“I’m afraid I don’t know sign language,” Viktor says. “I apologize. Can you write? I have some papers here.”

Isha nods. In sloppy handwriting, she writes, Man on rufe?

Jayce does look a bit intimidating on the roof. All broad and rough-hewn.

“That’s Jayce. He’s my - partner. He’s very nice. Much Nicer than me. And it's spelled roof with two Os. What’s your name?”

Isha

“That’s a lovely name, I’m Viktor.”

Viktor shakes her hand, which for some reason makes her giggle. It's a sweet sound. Viktor feels the warmth of the sunshine peaking through the pines. 

He remembers the children he “healed.” Those poor, poor kids. Their excitement when they felt better. When they could walk again. Run. Before they turned into -

A small hand taps on his arm. Isha looks at him with a confused expression.

“Sorry,” he says. “Let me get started.”

Viktor starts doing the work on his own. Grabs at the glue. It’s only when he sees Isha staring that he realizes he should probably involve her. Teach her, so if any other mean-spirited playmates decide to ruin her belongings she'll know what to do.

“Would you like to hold this while I apply the glue?” He asks. Isha nods. Takes the broken toy into her hands.

“If you’re repairing wood, you have to use glue that’s made for wood. When you’re older, and the projects are bigger, you can also use nails and other fastening tools. Though you'll need to learn what kind of wood splinters easily and how to avoid it.”

Isha nods intently. A very good little listener. Viktor applies the glue to the cracks.

“Alright. Now. Press it together. Be firm. Sometimes repairing things takes a bit of strength.”

Isha furrows their brow and focuses hard. Viktor watches, content.

“Keep pressing for about 30 seconds. We’ll have to give it time to dry before you play with it again. But we also have to fix the wheel, which will take more time.”

Isha keeps pressing.

“Alright. Let go.”

She lets go. The carriage stays together. Isha beams.

“See!” Viktor says, “It’ll work just fine”

He finds himself smiling before he realizes. Isha glances at something and then writes.

“Hes looking a lot.”

Viktor turns around to watch Jayce staring at the two of them. Even though Jayce is quite far, Viktor can tell he has a grin on his face. He warms a bit. Coughs.

Viktor teaches Isha about how wheels work. How the hub carries a bearing, which got snapped clean off. He takes careful measurements of the other bearings and makes His own by hand with a knife.

“This you shouldn’t do by yourself,” Viktor says. “Not yet.”

He lets Isha push the bearing through the hub. And teaches her how to use a screwdriver to attach his new contraption to the underside of the carriage. Isha finishes and sits back in anticipation.

“Try it,” Viktor encourages.

Isha tests the wheel. It works. The little carriage can roll on its own. She once again smiles widely. Starts jumping up and down. Isha then bounds over to Viktor and gives him a hug. So kind. So trusting. And, at least for the moment, the crushing weight he’s been feeling gets a little less heavy.

***

Jayce finds Viktor back in their cabin, curled up by the fire with a book in his hand.

“I found a history book in the main house. Fera let me borrow it. It’s quite fascinating.”

Jayce wants nothing more than to kiss him. His loose strands of hair hang over his forehead. Nothing more in the world. But again, he restrains. He wants Viktor to feel a bit more like himself. Become more present. Whatever he did with that child today was a good start. He seems more relaxed than ever. 

“Without magic, the field of medicine seems a bit more advanced,” he adds. “Which might be a good sign. We won’t have long until my lungs start causing some trouble.”

It’s not that Jayce forgot. How could he ever? But he’s been so worried about Viktor’s mental state he hasn’t even begun to fret over the physical. It hits him like a ton of bricks.

“We’ll find a way,” Jayce says. “I promise. And we have more time on our side.”

When he sits, he can't help but flinch again. Viktor immediately notices it. 

"You shouldn't strain yourself. Maybe fixing roofs is a bit too much to handle, no?" 

Jayce bristles. He's not... well he's not inept and - years of arguments with Viktor come rushing back to him all at once. Huh. How things change. He gets Viktor a little bit now in a way he wasn't able to before. Jayce sighs. 

"Maybe you're right," he says. 

There’s a knock at the door. Jayce assumes it's Fera, but is surprised when he opens it to a woman he doesn’t know.

“Hi. Are you Viktor?” She asks. Viktor stands up.

“No, umm. This is him?”

“Hi. I’m Isha’s mom, Cara” she says.

“Oh,” Viktor says. “Hello. I met her this morning. I hope you don’t mind I taught her how to fix her toy.”

“No umm. Not at all. I wanted to thank you. Isha told me everything. I - I run a market downtown, and I come up here to forage during berry-picking season. Isha made a new friend and begged to stay behind today and I figured a few hours couldn’t hurt her... but then…”

“Kids can be cruel,” Viktor says. Cara nods.

“Anyways. Isha drew you this. I wanted to give it to you. And, if you’re ever downtown, I run Sunset Market on Canal Street. You and your partner are welcome there any time. Discounts abound!”

“I - oh - that’s not necessary. But thank you,” Viktor says. “We would love to stop by.”

Jayce notices Viktor’s gone a bright red, unused to the praise. And also that Viktor’s struggling to make eye contact, clearly touched by the drawing. He wants to see it so badly.

“Alright, sounds lovely. Have a great night, boys.”

“You too,” Jayce says.

When Jayce closes the door, he watches Viktor further take in the drawing. He blinks rapidly.

“Silly child,” Viktor chokes. “It was nothing.”

Jayce peaks over Viktor's shoulder to get a look at the drawing. It's little disproportionate stick figures that are clearly meant to be Viktor and Isha. Viktor has his cane in one hand and a screwdriver in the other.

“Did you have a favorite toy growing up?” Jayce asks. “If Isha’s anything like I was, it was everything.”

He doesn’t want to bring Viktor back to a bad place. But he hopes he can see that he can do good. That he can make a difference. That his good intentions can be followed with good actions. That he’s not a monster, but a beautiful, flawed, incredible human being.

Jayce wraps his arm around Viktor’s shoulders. Viktor leans into the touch.

At dinner, Viktor briefs Jayce on more of the history he’s learned. Jayce listens, but his mind begins to drift to a dangerous place he’s been trying to ignore. His mother. Caitlyn. Everyone he left behind.

It hasn’t fully sunk in yet, that he’ll never see them again. That they likely believe he’s dead. Whenever he thinks about it, a tidal wave of dread and despair threatens to pull him under its black and murky surface.

“Are you listening?” Viktor asks.

“Yes,” Jayce says. “Yes.”

Viktor purses his lips.

“Jayce…” he says. And it's a tone Jayce recognizes all too well. A tone that says you’re in trouble. “If we are in this together as you claim, I do not want you to shelter me from your feelings simply because you fear how I'll respond." 

Gods, Viktor knows him so well.

“I’ll never regret the choice I made,” Jayce says. “I promise you that. But yes, I’m thinking of Ma. And.. Cait… and…”

He blinks rapidly. And suddenly, Viktor’s in his space. He’s reaching over the little table and grabbing his hands. Jayce has such a big grieving process ahead of him that feels as daunting as climbing that cliff with his brace. And he’s terrified of how it’ll sit with him, once the adrenaline rush of a new place settles down. 

But Viktor’s holding his hand. And he’s squeezing it tight. And Viktor’s here. He’s here. And he’ll be here. And Jayce knows that it could never erase the enormity of such a loss. But it’ll at least give it a purpose.

Jayce grabs Viktor’s hand where it rests on top of his and plants a kiss to it.

“Thank you,” Jayce chokes.

I love you with everything I am. I love everything you touch. 

***

In Viktor’s dream, he’s helping Isha make a toy boat. He explains to her how the running water will help work as a force for the propellor. She takes it all in joyfully, attaching gears to their new contraption. The sky darkens with a hint of rain.

“Ah,” Viktor says. “We should go in.”

Isha pouts. She writes in a notebook. It’s also Jayce’s notebook. From when they first met.

In perfectly clear handwriting, she's written: 

Heal Me.

The sky darkens further. Viktor becomes trapped in his own body. Watches in horror as his hexcore changed hands touch her little forehead. Feels the arcane flow through him. Looks at the light in her eyes. He feels sick. He desperately tries to fight the magic, but it's too late. Isha is gone.

Her little body collapses to the floor. She lands on their carriage. It snaps in two. Splinters into irreparable pieces.

When he turns around, Fera and Harry are already on their knees. Begging for salvation. Viktor, stuck back in that endless, lonely void, watches in horror as they become “enlightened” bound to the whims of the arcane under his hands. Rain starts to pour. He tries to get control of his body. Tries to run. Jayce appears in his path. They’re in the woods. They’re in the council room. Jayce is on his knees in front of him. Like a disciple.

“Viktor,” he says. “What’s wrong?”

Viktor can’t stop himself. He reaches out. Puts his hands to Jayces face. And takes his thumbs to Jayces eyes. Inside the void, he screams and screams.

“Viktor,” Jayce whimpers. “What- what are you doing?”

Jayce puts a gentle hand on Viktor’s wrist. But Viktor can’t stop himself. He keeps pushing and pushing and blood starts to pool in the corner of his eyes and - 

“Viktor,” Jayce is crying in pain. “Viktor.”

“Viktor! Hey! Viktor!”

Viktor shoots upward with a gasp. He’s in bed. Jayce is by his side. When he looks downward, his hands are all human. Shaking, but human. He’s hyperventilating. He’s drenched in sweat.

“Viktor! Hey! Hey!” Jayce says. “It’s okay. It’s okay. You were dreaming. You’re safe, V.. You’re safe.”

Viktor’s throwing himself in Jayce’s arms before he even makes up his mind to do so. Gasping for air as if he’s been underwater.

“Oh, sweetheart. Oh, V. It’s okay. It’s okay…”

The noise that comes out of his mouth sounds horribly like a whimper. He feels bile in his throat. He feels warmth on his temple. A kiss. Soothing and soft. Jayce is strong and warm and alive and intact underneath him. Around him. Viktor has control of his body. Of his hands. 

“I’m-“ Viktor starts

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” Jayce says, his voice soft in his hair. “Don’t you dare.”

Jayce rocks him gently. Viktor’s incredibly grateful he’s not prying. The images keep flashing in his mind. On a loop. He focuses on the feeling of Jayce’s hand in his hair, gently stroking through the strands there, and tries to match his breath.

Jayce adjusts them so they’re both more comfortable. Viktor clings onto his shirt and wonders if the nightmares will ever stop.

***

Jayce grips at Viktor's cane like a lifeline. He's nervous. Not sure why. They're standing on the gravel path outside the inn. The sun rises over the mountains.

"Okay," Viktor says. "Just use it with every step on the injured leg. Try to keep it slightly in front of your foot." 

When Jayce tries at first, the motion feels awkward and strangely complicated. It doesn't help much. His brace digs into his skin. 

"It'll be more natural if you move your cane in tandem with your leg," he says. Jayce frowns. Tries the motion once, twice, without actually stepping forward. He takes a deep breath. Tries again. And - wait. 

"Oh," Jayce says. "This is quite nice." 

Its better. It's a little awkward feeling but it's better. Viktor smiles up at him. 

"Maybe I'll make you one in the coming days," Viktor smiles. And gods, its so nice to see that smile. Jayce feels bashful. Taken care of. 

"Oh.. okay," he says. And he's so far away from everything, but for a moment, he feels right at home. 

***

Viktor makes Jayce his cane. The competitive part of him wants his to be better. He asks Harry if he can source some maple wood and finally gets to work on the carving. Jayce was always known as more of a craftsman. But people forget Viktor had to work with his hands out of necessity much earlier. While the first layer of coating dries, Viktor and Jayce try cataloging and noting some of the local flora and fauna. They help Fera make pastries and help Harry in the garden.

It’s getting harder to avoid their questions. But they don’t seem to mind. Trusting to a fault. Viktor notes, when they're out of earshot, that they probably should come up with a backstory before heading to the city. Something not so strange as to garner attention but something that could explain their lack of worldly knowledge.

When they garden, Viktor buries some seeds in the dirt of this new planet and hopes they’ll grow into something sustainable in the summer. He decides wherever he and Jayce end up, they’ll need a garden.

In the evening, he and Jayce take a stroll by the river until his leg acts up and they have to turn around. Jayce keeps a gentle hand on his back.

“You can use me for support if you need,” Jayce offers.

“I can get back to the cabin by myself, Jayce. It’s not as if I’ve collapsed,” Viktor snaps.

And he feels bad about it until he sees Jayce beam. More radiant. 

“Why are you smiling?” Viktor asks.

“Because,” Jayce says, “That was so you.”

Viktor hands Jayce his cane later in the night, and Jayce looks at him like he hung the stars. 

***

At night, despite the worries, Viktor does not succumb to nightmares. He wakes to the sound of one of the roosters cawing outside. Jayce lays asleep beside him. The golden light of the sunrise pours in through their window. It's the first time since they've arrived in this reality that he's felt... alright. Not okay by any means. But there’s a glimmer of hope stirring somewhere that's been present for long enough now that he's not afraid it'll disappear. 

He stares at Jayce as he sleeps. His brow is furrowed. He has an arm outstretched in Viktor's direction. As if magnetized to him.

He's beautiful. He's so beautiful. He’s always been beautiful. In every moment. Every form.

Viktor thinks of what it meant to see himself through Jayce's eyes. To know that Jayce wanted to stand with him at the end of the world. Embracing oblivion in each other's arms. How kind he's been since they arrived here. How patient. And suddenly, he can't take another second of being apart. Of leaving what they started unfinished. 

He reaches out his hand and squeezes Jayce's. He stirs awake. Bleary-eyed with bedhead. 

"V... hey. Is something wrong?" He asks. Jolting upward and rubbing at his eyes. And Viktor can't stand the distance. 

"No," Viktor says, before grabbing the back of Jayce's neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

And oh gods, his lips are so soft.  Jayce immediately comes alive above him. Lets out a little noise of surprise. Followed by a delighted little moan. He cradles Viktor’s face in his palms and deepens the kiss. Viktor can feel how hard Jayce is trying not to smile. He pulls him closer, as if the heat of him could somehow warm his bones. 

***

Jayce has woken up to something beyond the sweetest of his dreams. Viktor. Viktor. Viktor.

Viktor in his hands and Viktor's lips on his and Viktor sighing in contentment against his cheek and gods he's never ever hungered like this. Never needed like this. Not even trapped in the ravine. Viktors so firm. So composed. His slender fingers slide through Jayces hair, and Jayce can't help but moan when he tugs a little at the strands. He knows he's losing it a bit. Kisses sloppy and frantic because he needs to get everywhere all at once and has no idea where to even start. 

Viktor pulls away for a moment, and it's like losing the sun. But he quickly returns, settling himself on Jayces lap. And Jayce has imagined this so many times. In so many ways, but nothing in his head could have conjured up that exquisite smile. So bright. Warmed by the rising sun coming in through their window. 

“Hello,” Viktor whispers, voice a little shaky.

“Hi,” Jayce says, and because he can't take it anymore, he immediately goes back to showering him in kisses. Giving each of his moles special attention knowing he’ll do the same to all the ones under his clothes. Feeling his head spin with each of Viktor's little involuntary gasps and moans.  He wants to kiss every single inch of him. He wants to devour him. He wants to make love to him until he loves himself. He wants so much it's nearly paralyzing.

He sucks a bruise into Viktor's neck and trails his hands under Viktor's shirt. Viktor gives a little hum of approval. He's a miracle in Jayce's hands. He tries to help Viktor out of his shirt, but it gets stuck. Viktor lets out the sweetest little giggle before worming his way out of it.

“Sorry, I'm nervous,” Jayce says. Viktor quirks a brow, like that's ridiculous. “Arent you?”

Viktor smiles. He leans upward, sucks at the shell of Jayce's ear before whispering a calm and gentle.

“No. Never with you. It's natural. Like breathing.”

Viktor grinds into him and Jayce gasps at both the words and the contact. Jayce feels his whole body tremble under the weight of that. He feels shocked alive. Like he's been hit with a hextech beam. God's. He's radiant. He's an angel. 

“Gods, I love you so much,” Jayce sputters. "Probably redundant, considering everything that's happened. But. Yeah." 

Viktor's caught a bit off guard, and then he smiles. His eyes glisten. He raises a hand to Jayces face. He's so beautiful. Jayce cranes his neck up to kiss him. Dip his tongue into the holy cavern of his mouth. The soft velvet feel of Viktor Viktor Viktor.

“I love you too,” he says. Jayce can see the blush rising on Viktor's neck. Licks at the salt on his throat. Feels it Vibrate as Viktor speaks. “O- obviously. What did I tell you?”

Viktor grabs him by the face, forcing Jayce to look up at him. He kisses his cheek. Jayce can feel his breath hot there.

“In every timeline,” he kisses him again. Jayce is absolute putty in his hands. “In every possibility….” another kiss. "It's always you." 

Jayce whimpers. He can't help it.

“Awww darling,” Viktor says, voice rough and low in a way that's doing unspeakable things to him. Viktor grinds into Jayce again. Absolutely ruthless. That deadly grin. Viktor trails a hand down Jayces stomach and feels at the bulge in Jayce's briefs, slender fingers careful over the fabric. Jayce begins to whine. He feels dizzy. He feels drunk. He's never felt more alive.

Jayce needs needs needs to touch. He teases at the band of Viktor's briefs and pulls him out. And gods, like a dog, Jayce begins to salivate.

“Let me flip us over,” Jayce gasps. "Please." Let me show you how much I worship you.

Viktor nods. Jayce, careful of his leg, flips them around, gently lowering Viktor onto the mattress. Slowly. So he can watch him sink into the pillow, watch his hair spill around him and his pupils dialate and his cheeks flush. And Jayce has no idea how he held back so long. Viktor's always been spun from the finest of stars.

Jayce rids Viktor of his briefs. Kisses up his leg. Runs his hand up and down Viktor's side because he's so damn soft and he needs to be touching him. Viktor's skin ripples underneath his fingers, responding to his touch like a fine instrument.

This haze they're in feels untouchable. Cosmic. Sacred. 

Planting gentle kisses up his leg, relishing in each new bit of skin he gets to touch, Jayce works his way up to Viktors cock. Watches as Viktor throws his head back when Jayces lips ghost over the head.

“Gods, Jayce….” Viktor says, Viktor twines his fingers through Jayce's hair, and Jayce wants to serve him. He worships him, and not like one of his old disciples, deluded by a false ability to heal. No, Jayce worships the real Viktor under the surface. The man who can destroy and repair and whose heart is kinder than the world ever was to him. Who is composed of a million little brilliant imperfections. 

Jayce is finally able to coax a whine from him when he licks up Viktor's length, then, because he might need this even more than Viktor, because he's aching for this, he swallows Viktor down in one smooth motion.

Viktor gasps, his hand tightens in the strands of Jayces hair. And the little sting is so perfect jayce whines. He works himself as deep as he can go. Hollows out his cheeks until Viktor lets out a nonsensical string of sounds and his legs start to tremble. Viktor feels so warm an heavy in his mouth. Perfect. 

That's it. Take what you need. I want to exist for your pleasure. Devote myself to you entirely. I'm yours. I'm yours I'm yours.

Jayce bobs his head rhythmically before pulling off, gently suckling at the sensitive skin right under his cock. Sloppily work his tongue around it.

“I'm yours, V, take what you want.”

Viktor looks at him with a darkened, needy lust. Pupils blown. Nostrils flaring. He grabs Jayce by the hair harder. Jayce is practically dizzy with it. Viktor guides him back down to his cock.

“You're so incredible, Jayce. My Jayce. I - mmmm.” Jayce lets Viktor keep him right there at the base until drool pools in the corner of his mouth. “You'd just- fuck - stay there for me until you choked on it, wouldn't you?”

Jayce hums, and Viktor's legs start to tremble more intensely. Jayce covets every beautiful little moan and hum and whimper that leaves his lips.

“Jayce - I'm - I'm close- you can- “

Viktor tries to pull Jayce off, but Jayce needs to taste him.  Viktor cums with a groan. Jayce can feel the salty heat of him in his mouth. Swallows him down. Viktor stares at Jayce like Jayce is a miracle.

“Come here,” he gasps, “now.”

Jayce happily obliges, coming up and grinning when Viktor pulls him in for a kiss. Jayce gasps when Viktor snaps the elastic of his briefs.

“Off,” he says, “there's oil in the bag where I've kept my toiletries. Get it, darling.”

Jayce nods uselessly. Scrambles to find the bag. A torturous minute without his Viktor. He rushes back to bed, kicks off his briefs. From across the room, he sees Viktor, lying in bed, stomach rising and falling as he catches his breath.

It's the most beautiful sight he's ever seen.

Jayce crawls back on top of him. 

“I'll need a moment,” Viktor says.

“I can wait,” Jayce says, despite the terrible ache in his gut. He's waited all his life just to hold his hand. Just to kiss him. He can wait just a little longer for this. No matter how badly he needs it. How achingly hard he is. 

Jayce kisses him and kisses him and kisses him. Pulls him in as close as possible, bodies pressed flush together as if any spot where they aren't touching might burn. Viktor grips at him with a surprising force, as if Jayce might slip away. Finally, Viktor pulls him in for a particularly filthy kiss and whispers, “I’m ready.”

Jayce works Viktor open on his fingers. Stares in awe as Viktor squirms on them. Basks in the incredible remarkable heat of him. Jayce is so pent up he’s practically delirious. He finally finds the spot inside Viktor that makes him arch his back like a drawn-back bow and cry out.

Viktor’s hard again, and he’s mumbling incoherently, and he’s squinting at Jayce like Jayce is too much to look at all at once. Jayce peppers kisses along the fine arches of Viktor's ribs. Skin velvet soft under his tongue. Swirls his tongue around his nipple while getting him nice and spread.  Nice and ready for his much-deserved worship. 

Viktor pants underneath him. Brows arched in pleasure.

“Jayce,” he whines. “Let me. On top..." 

“Yeah? You ready?”

Viktor nods. Jayce withdraws his fingers and helps Viktor onto his lap again. And oh, wow wow wow. He’s positively divine.  Sweat-slicked hair, blown pupils. Hovering above him. Expression somehow a mix between disbelief and delirium and devotion. 

Viktor finally sinks down on him. And Jayce’s eyes roll back in his head for a minute. He looks up at Viktor, his guiding light. Wraps his arms around Viktor’s back, letting him set the pace. And fuck, Viktor takes him so well. Takes all of him inside so fast despite the sharp tightness. Viktor presses in close. Press their foreheads together. And this isn't sex. It can't be. It's something completely celestial. Something so sacred he feels he's being made anew in its image. 

Jayce feels the breath ripped from him at the feeling of Viktor riding his cock. Once he starts to move, he cradles Jayce’s face in his hands. Kisses him. Jayce only breaks out of his grasp to suck love bites into his neck. His collarbone.

“You’re so good to me,” Viktor whispers. “So so good.”

Jayce whines, looking back up at him. Gods, please, that's all I want.

And the pleasure is like a roaring, building tide, gripping at him. 

“You’re beautiful,” Jayce babbles. “You’re so beautiful. Most beautiful thing I'll ever see”

Viktor's eyes well. He slows a bit and kisses him. 

“Get me on my back, Jayce.” Viktor says. And Jayce is more than happy to oblige. He flips them back over again and immediately gets lost in the heat of him. And Viktor looks like he’s in complete bliss. Eyes glassy, lips parted, little whines. Jayce starts stroking him. Viktor keens, moving his hips to get closer to Jayce’s hand.

***

Viktor thought the feeling of floating freely through the void was the best he ever felt. But it's this. Not floating, but grounded. Held. Jayce fucks into him with a careful yet frantic abandon. He’s shiny with sweat. He won’t stop staring into his eyes and stroking his hair and whispering such sweet nonsense. And he’s his. He’s Viktors and Viktor’s alone. And Viktor feels like he somehow plucked Jayce from the stars himself and stole him.

“That’s it,” Jayce says, “Let go for me Viktor.”

Viktor never really believed in souls. But as he gets closer and closer, he feels his own reaching out and intertwining with Jayce's. Fusing like planets on a collision course. Forever bound in the other. 

Viktor's never been more desperate. More taken apart. His whole world has been reduced and expanded to just this. Here with Jayce He pulls Jayce down and kisses him. Jayce’s careful hand loses its rhythm for a second. But it's worth it just to taste him. And Viktor wants to run his hands over the expansive cosmos of him until he can live within his bright glow.

Viktor never knew the depths of his own self before he met Jayce. Before he met longing. Before the lonely pit inside him that became so familiar suddenly started to feel heavy. Before they became cosmically intertwined. Because it was always him. In every universe. Only him. Jayce is every discovery. The solution to every equation. He’s gravity and matter and motion. He's - 

“Mine,” Viktor gasps. 

“Yours,” Jayce says. “Always. Always, V. Oh Gods I'm yours. I'm yours,“

Viktor cums so hard he shouts, eyes rolling back into his head. The bright light of spacetime collapsing glistens behind his eyes. Jayce’s hips stutter. He puts his forehead against Viktor's as he cums with a desperate whine. Viktor can feel Jayce suck in a shocked, stuttering breath.

“There you go,” Viktor whispers. Jayce pulls him in for a deeply sloppy kiss in the haze of it. More just a pressing together of mouths than anything substantial. He gently pulls out, and hovers over Viktor for a second, stroking the hair off his forehead.

Then, he collapses next to him, and pulls him in close.

“Gods.” Jayce whispers into Viktor's neck. “Gods”

“I know,” Viktor says. “I know.”

They lay there in silence for a moment. Viktor listens as Jayce’s racing heart starts to calm down. His breath starts to even.

"I'm yours as well. In case you... didn't know", Viktor says, quietly. He never thought he'd be anybody's. Never wanted to be. Always wanted to do everything on his own. But he's always been Jayce's. Since before they even met.

Jayce kisses him softly. Like they have all the time in the world. 

Jayce uses his new cane to go get them towels from the bathroom. Brings Viktor water and wipes the stickiness off his skin. He lays on Viktor's chest. Right over his heart. 

"Lets stay in bed all day," he whispers. "Tell Ferra and Harry we're sick.." 

"Jayce..." Viktor says. 

"Please. One day. Just for us." 

How could he say no? Viktor plants a kiss to the top of Jayce's head. Feels him let out a sigh. 

"Alright," Viktor says. "But I hope you know, we have much longer than a day." 

We have our whole lives. 

And maybe Viktor will never feel the same again. Likely, the guilt and the fear and the self-hatred will be a life-long battle. And maybe this world will be unwelcoming or cruel just like the last. 

But he and Jayce have managed to find little pockets of good amongst massive evils. And nightmares may never stop, but they often reduce in frequency. 

Jayce hums in contentment against Viktor's chest, he's clinging to him so sweetly. Those impossible hands on his back. Jayce kisses the space right above Viktor's heart, and the small glimmer of hope he woke up with expands like the universe itself.

***

Jayce really does wind up spending all day in bed with Viktor. Sex. Talking. Reading. Sex. A break for food. Massages that lead to sex. A nap. A few jokes shared in the quiet space between them. More than a few laughs. Quiet confessions. Louder ones. All day it's Viktor. Viktor. Viktor. His angel. Right in his arms. 

After their day together, they spend two last days at the inn. Jayce helps finish all the repairs he can manage while Viktor works the garden. They plan to head to Emberwood, the city that would be Piltover in their realm. They'll see Isha and her mom and maybe try to find any hints of themselves or their loved ones. Try to build lives again. Viktor is terrified of making mistakes, but Jayce has slowly coaxed him into trying to see if they can study together again. Make something kind. Not necessarily revolutionary. But good. kind. Honest. They need to get Viktor's lungs checked and they need money and they need to find a place to live. They need to see if there's anything that can be done about Jayces leg and Viktor wants a cat and a garden and a place where they can watch the sunrise. 

Worst comes to worse, they can always come back here. 

There's so much to do, and yet, as they pack up their things into Harry's carriage, Jayce is unafraid. 

"Is that everything?" Viktor asks. 

"We don't have much," Jayce jokes. 

"Exactly," he says, "Which is why we need everything." 

Jayce kisses him on the cheek. His favorite little spot. That mole under his eye. 

"I'm sure. I looked over the room." 

"We're losing daylight, boys!" Harry says, from the driver's spot. 

"You ready?" Jayce asks. Viktor looks at him. Hopeful and soft and a bit sad. He nods. 

They help each other in the carriage. Jayce grasps at his hand. Kisses the back of it. Puts his head on Viktor's shoulder. The carriage starts to move, away from this safe little space and onward, hand in hand, to the rest of it.