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The barely disguised argument between her parents was just white noise behind her head. Alone on the couch, she stared at her High School Report laser-focused on each glaring flaw that stained the document and added fuel to the vortex draining her empty inside her head. Loss of honors. Loss of a Valedictorian badge due to less-than-perfect attendance and behavioral problems. Loss of science fair awards. Loss of writing awards. Loss of the chance to be chosen to make the speech in the name of the class. So much wasted time…
The sudden loud voice of her father caused her to wince and rub her temples.
“It was not her fault!” It was all she could grasp before his voice vanished to background noise again.
She disagreed with him on some level. It was her fault. Some of it, at least.
Her list of grades, Advanced Placement grades, and the Japanese Class she had been taking since forever should’ve outweighed some of her hiccups, yet, it all felt mediocre. Almost unrecognizable.
Last night, Grandma hugged her, congratulating her success. The woman beamed so proudly. Her parents reacted just the same, if not more excited. That is until they saw how the school kept the brawl incident as a footnote on her document. Her mother was furious, her dad blamed himself, Cobra Kai, Johnny, and maybe a bunch of other things. Sam wasn’t ready to deal with that energy so she ignored it and just glared at the paper, hoping to feel something besides apathy.
Such good grades... Her nine-year-old self would be ecstatic. Good job working with the broken system , she thought to herself bitterly, you’re still a farce .
Her phone buzzed and she saw the name of a College on the title of a new email notification. Likely another application result. She dropped it back on the couch without checking.
“It doesn’t matter, two places had already accepted her, it’s irrelevant” Her mom had just put an end to that discussion, “we should be celebrating.”
“Please no,” Sam heard herself speaking.
She turned to look over at her parents, her eyes looking gray despite the bright sunlight.
“But why?” Daniel nudged.
“I’m not feeling well,” she said blankly “It’s not the best time to be social.”
Amanda frowned, now she was worried.
“Also, we still have a lot going on, with the Diaz family struggling and Tory’s mom”, Sam rushed to add more reason. “It's just not the time”.
“Alright… What about we call it dinner? Just the four of us with Nonna,” Daniel suggested.
Sam nodded, forcing a pathetic grin.
The parents exchanged looks.
“Whatever you want, baby,” Daniel forced a smile back and didn’t insist anymore.
Later that day, he went to check on his daughter. He stopped by her bedroom and knocked on the already open door to call her attention. The place was well kept, as always, but he noticed a weird lack of personal decoration she used to have around. His daughter was lying in the middle of the bed on her stomach, there was a website for job hunting in Okinawan open on the screen of her laptop, and her planner was open with a bunch of tiny colored post-its, there were some flyers about life in Japan for foreigners and her sacred diary, in which she only wrote in Japanese, had big questions written all over it asking about her future, her plans, where to go from there.
“Dad!” Sam groaned as if he had been intruding and rushed to close the laptop.
“The door was open” he tried to justify “What’s all of this?”
“Daydreaming,” she didn’t try to deny what he saw but rushed to hide everything.
“It looked serious.”
“It’s nothing.”
Daniel didn't believe it. She knew he didn't believe it.
“You know…” the man started, leaning on the doorknob, “You can just ask me for some tips, I’ve been there enough times.”
Sam finished putting her stuff away and hugged her legs. She was wearing Kumiko’s gift, a beautiful embroidered nightdress that Daniel felt guilty about accepting, aware of how expensive it probably was. The woman insisted that Sam would look great in it and wanted her to have it. Kumiko was right of course. The long sleeves pooled a bit around the girl’s wrists because of a little excessive fabric. At that moment, the dress made her look even smaller than she was and pulled at Daniel’s fatherly heart.
“May I sit with you there?”
Sam nodded.
He sat on the corner, not feeling particularly welcomed to get too close yet. “I’ve noticed the string lights you had on the wall are gone…”
“I didn’t want them anymore… I gave them to Bran-bran.”
“Who?”
“Tory’s little brother. He was obsessed with it when she brought him last week. It would be gathering dust in a box otherwise.”
“I bet he’s really happy with it. And what about your 3D art project?”
Sam grimaced.
“It was an amazing project,” Daniel continued.
“I couldn’t look at it without feeling bad about what happened to Aisha and how I handled it.”
“I thought you were both friends now.”
“We’re peaceful acquaintances who were once friends. And that’s my fault.”
Daniel breathed loudly, turning to face his kid, “So you learned teens do stupid things.”
“Yeah…”
“Sam, I’m worried.”
She looked away from him.
“What is it?”, he asked.
She shrugged, “Nothing. I have nothing to complain about.”
“That’s not what I asked. Are you upset about the report?”
“Not really, it’s about what I expected.”
“Is it because of UCLA? Do you wish to go somewhere else?”
She turned at him with a perfect, polite smile, “UCLA is a good catch.”
“ Not what I asked.” Daniel repeated.
“I do not wish to go anywhere else.”
The look of defeat and resignation enhanced some new lines that showed how he was growing old. Her dad was growing old right in front of her. The sight of his barely disguised exhaustion made her heart ache. Childhood was truly gone… The illusion that Father was forever was breaking a little more every day. She reached out, tenderly smoothing those aging lines away, until he wasn’t frowning anymore. “I’ll be okay. There’s nothing wrong, Dad.”
“But there is… I can see it.”
Sam shook her head, when had he learned to pick up on her emotional cues again? He had been so aloof for the last three years, caught up in business, karate, and old rivalries. When did he have the time to recalibrate to her? When did she have time to recalibrate to him ?
“Maybe I need to step away to get a better look at the big picture.”
“All the way to Okinawa ?”
Sam chuckled, “It’s pretty far.”
“We could get you a hotel-”
“No.” She gently interrupted him, “Not like that. I was hoping Kumiko could help me rent a small house in the neighborhood where the Cleaning Center is.”
“Cleaning Center?”
“It’s an initiative that works on cleaning the beaches.”
That seemed to take him by surprise.
“I don’t wanna take a vacation,” Sam explained.
“Do you wanna go alone?”
“Yes. I must.”
He stayed quiet for a bit. Sam fidgeted uncomfortably.
“You probably think I’m crazy.”
“I think you’re surprising.”
Sam wasn't sure if that was a good thing.
“It’s not every day your child tells you she’s moving away to pick trash and do soul searching on the other side of the planet.”
“I know you wanted me to work at the shop this summer.” Sam grimaced, feeling a bit of guilt.
“Well, that was before I saw you didn’t pick Business when you applied for college.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Nah,” he waved her guilt away, “It’s not my job to force you on a career path that makes no sense to you. Not when I’ve managed to give you security to explore things I could never dream of.” He smiled, “I’m the happiest man because of it.”
Sam smiled back, genuinely this time “And I'm the luckiest girl.”
He leaned to kiss her forehead, “How soon?”
She pulled the laptop to show him the whole Notion she had created to plan everything, “There” she pointed at the calendar, “Next month”.
Daniel whimpered. The girl had to laugh at his pout.
“Well, I'm not going to be the one to break the news to your mom.” He decided.
“Will you hold my hand while I do it?”
“Of course, but I'm not sharing the blame if it comes to that.”
Sam chuckled, “Deal.”
The teenagers had rushed through the airport doing their best not to throw anybody on the ground while they ran. Every time they went by a big screen that showed the time, they shouted at the others the updated numbers.
“Fuck, we won’t make it!” Demetri cursed as the last of the group.
“Oh, we fucking will,” Tory argued, leading the group with Robby.
“Big pink jacket sighted!” Anthony interrupted the race, blocking the group's path, and pointed.
“With a huge capybara plushie! We found her!” Robby smiled.
While waiting on the bench, snacking something tasteless she regretted buying, Sam wasn’t prepared for the attack. She had her plushie on her lap, which was too big for her, and didn’t see the group approaching from her peripheral view until it was too late. In a second, they were all over her, covering her from every side with bear hugs and pats. She tried to say something but had no chance before it was too late.
The swarm called the attention of security for a second, but Miguel whispered for them to calm down, discreetly pointing at stern-looking men who watched them with a menacing scowl.
“I can’t go back to jail,” Robby whispered.
“I can’t go to jail at all!” Demetri protested.
“What is wrong with y-?!” Sam lashed out when she was finally able to breathe, but the others covered her mouth fast.
“Security is looking! Security is looking, play cool,” Miguel begged her.
Sam groaned, the four hands almost covering her whole face. She nodded, promising to stay cool, and gasped loudly when they let her go. Sometimes those friends of hers could be a lot.
“Were you trying to go away without saying goodbye?” Demetri asked, with his hand on his hips. Though the humor in his voice was obvious, his eyes betrayed some hidden hurt feelings, which everyone else shared on a bigger or smaller level.
“So rude, Princess,” Tory agreed, nudging the brunette with her foot.
“We are all basically a huge polycule, how could you do this?” Miguel asked. It was always so impressive seeing him self-aware and comfortable with the mess the four of them were.
“Ew, no” Anthony counted himself out.
Robby, Tory, and Sam had to contain a chuckle at that mention. The truth was too real and they could not believe how much of a mess they managed to create between each other. Being around them made her almost forget about her emptiness. The peaceful time they enjoyed was a hard-earned gift, perhaps miraculous when put into context.
“I’m so sorry, I clicked on the wrong date on their website, the goodbye dinner should’ve been today, but I had to leave fast. Mom even had everything prepared for you guys” Sam lamented.
“Oh, we’re still gonna eat it, we just had to come to lecture you about valuing your friends,” Anthony said, enjoying it a little too much.
“I was planning a beautiful ‘I’m sorry’ video for when I arrived, it wasn’t on purpose” Sam pouted.
Tory wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, “Well, we’re here now to send you off in proper style.”
Sam blushed, leaning into the gesture.
“Oh shit, you guys are a polycule,” Demetri realized with a scowl.
“Shut it” Troy threatened.
“I’ll miss you all so much,” Sam said, hugging the blonde suddenly.
“She said, hugging only one of us,” Anthony teased.
“Shut up, Antonio, my top first,” Sam growled at him.
She did give each one a long and heartfelt hug, even to her brother though their hug ended with both almost throwing hands right there in public.
“Just text us and let us know you're alive,” Robby asked.
“I want nudes,” Tory stated, blankly.
Anthony and Demetri looked like those words punched them in the face. Sam and Tory probably enjoyed their shock a little too much because their amused looks were as shameless as their disposition.
The two girls took the chance to step away for a second. Away from the main group, the girls visibly deflated, faces changing into somber looks, each somber in its own way.
“Hey, Princess, you get to run away now, but you do not run forever, you hear me?” Tory had too little humor in her voice. She meant every word. “I don't know what happened. What changed... But there's something that needs to be exorcised in there. I'm hoping this escapade will accomplish this.”
Sam let out a dry chuckle.
“It’s not what needs to come out… It's about what needs to be set ablaze once more.”
Tory frowned, in concern, her grip on the smaller girl’s shoulders tightening. “Don't you think we can help? We are your friends. You and Robby proved to me everyone needs a village. I wanted to face my grief alone and you guys were there. It helped me survive. Now… now you're just leaving us!”
“I'm so sorry…” Sam whispered, touching her face, “I don't want my love for you all to distract me or force me to pretend I have the answer. Those last few years were a nightmare. It changed me. Not sure it changed me for good, though. I need to recalibrate. And here… Here is too loud. Too overwhelming for me to do so. Also… I kind of have some penitence to do.”
Tory shook her head and gave Sam a little shake, “No. You have nothing to punish yourself for. I lied, Princess. It's not you. It was never your fault. Don't start believing it now.”
“The hardest thing is to leave you. We had just started…”
“Then don't. Stay with me. I'll take you to a cabin in the woods. Let you do your monk bullshit and bring you food every day. No one will find you. No one will bother you. You'll have isolation and nature or whatever-” Tory was interrupted the moment Samantha pulled her down for a kiss.
The blonde had once joked she would become a hunchback from all the time she had to double over to kiss or reach her lover's face. Sam on the other hand joked she would grow accustomed to walking on her toes because she needed to climb onto them to do the same. Yet, they both were ready to let that become their fate just so the other could stay forever.
The boys were caught by surprise when they noticed the girls were kissing and they all looked away fast.
Sam didn't care if anybody was looking because she needed Tory to shut it and she needed to kiss her as hard as she could so it would linger on her lips for the whole year they would stay away. Her newfound love for the Queen Cobra was a force of its own and it could easily convince her to change paths if she allowed it. But Tory deserved a complete partner, not a partner with doubts and apathy about life.
When they finally parted Nichols kept her eyes closed, “I get it… You don't want to hear it.”
“I'll call and text and send photos… I won't go no-contact. So hold on, okay?” Sam asked.
“Okay. I do want the nudes though,” Tory grinned opening her eyes.
“A promise is a promise is a promise”.
“What does that even mean?” The blonde frowned.
“Are you dykes done?” Anthony threw a paper ball at them.
Sam pulled Tory back to the group. They talked and said their goodbyes until the flight was called and Sam left them. She looked too vulnerable dragging that big suitcase and that capybara by herself, there, in the middle of a bunch of strangers who were all bigger than her.
“She'll be alright,” Miguel said out loud, trying to convince everybody and himself.
“Yeah, Sam is a tough girl,” Robby endorsed him.
“She's going to Japan, not to war” Anthony shrugged “Y’all so dramatic.”
The rest of the group smacked him playfully. The moment the little speck of pink disappeared the teens finally turned around to leave too. Tory looked over her shoulder just to be sure, deep inside she wanted to pretend to be in a movie and run after her girl, convice her to stay. But Sam deserved to make that choice to leave on her own terms, and then come back on her own terms too. She could wait, they all could. It would just hurt for a while.
Sam found her first-class spot and got her stuff in order, she thanked heavens half a dozen times for all the space her parents could pay for her and snuggled into the seat beside the giant plushie. It smelled like Tory. Despite the toy's absurd cuteness, the blonde had preferred to use it as a big pillow to stay perched on while playing video games on her phone whenever she visited Sam. At first, LaRusso was furious at her practical view of her son, but now she was grateful that her blonde kitty had left enough of her smell there.
One year… She would come back to Tory a much better person. She would come back to all of them with better resolve or at least a much clearer mind. It would be worth it.
When the plane was ready to set off, she took the earplugs from her little bag. It would help with the pain she felt every time she took a flight. She also bit into a gumball in hopes of easing the pressure inside her head. Japan was a world of distance, yet at that moment, home felt even farther. The turbines’ strength was felt all over the plane, Sam closed her eyes, willing her mind to be at peace. Suddenly they were airborne and she felt weightless, her new year had just started.