Chapter Text
A deep inhale. Nicotine passed through to his lungs as Arthur smoked his cigarette. It was late and the man needed a moment to sit and think. They'd been on the run for so long, and while the mountains had been unkind and they'd lost some people between Blackwater and the mountains, hiding out here didn't sit right with him either. He'd feel safer with four walls and a roof, rather than out here hiding behind trees.
“Those things will kill you, y'know?” A voice called out from the darkness.
“What isn't trying to kill me nowadays?” He answered, not even glancing up as Charles sat near him, offering a bottle of whiskey which Arthur nodded in thanks as he took a swig from it before passing it back.
The warmth of the drink passed through him, settling in his stomach just before a gust of cold wind blew through the camp. A couple of the girls hollered and one of the tents blew down. Arthur hoped it was Micah's.
“You alright, Arthur? You've been gone a few days, and quiet since you got back.”
Leave it to Charles to see right through him.
“Been thinkin’ a lot. About all we been through. About the people we lost. About me and my place in all this,” he admitted easily.
“You come to any conclusions?” The question is asked earnestly, though the full expression on Charles’s face was unreadable to Arthur.
“Not entirely. I do think the time of us outlaws is numbered. And while I am not entirely sure what that means, I do think it will mean trouble for a great many of us.” He watched the expression change, eyes glancing between the two of them before away again. “I know it ain't easy out there for any of us, but I know it's harder for you.”
“I appreciate that, Arthur.”
A comfortable silence fell between the two as they looked out in the wilderness, the only sounds other than nature being the swish of the whiskey in the bottle. Arthur did his damnedest to not let his stomach flip every time he accidentally brushed Charles's fingers when passing the drink.
He felt foolish. He had known for a long time about his affection for both men and women, though he knew better than to act on the one for men. Only once had he ever acted on it, back when he was a child, and Hosea had to sit with him and explain why it was dangerous to be open with that because it had led to the death of the boy he had kissed. The guilt started young.
And yet, despite that, he so desperately wanted to act on it again. Perhaps it was because he had seen Mary again. Perhaps he was just lonely. Perhaps Charles was just the best man around and while Arhur had his hang-ups about himself, every moment Charles chose to spend with him felt good, felt special.
“I found something when I was out hunting earlier. Would you be up for checking it out with me?”
“Sure,” Arthur answered, though paused when Charles immediately stood up. “Right now?”
“It's not far. And I think it'd be better to be shown now.”
A raised eyebrow was all he responded with for a moment before nodding and getting up himself. He was only slightly tipsy at that point, nothing that would make riding difficult. The two made their way to their horses. Thankfully no one seemed to notice, or if they did they didn't comment on it as the two trotted out of the camp.
Arthur rode alongside Charles, wondering where they were going. It was quiet on the roads, save for the dirt landing back on the ground as the horses kicked it up. The stars scattered the sky above them as the moon lit the path they followed. It was serene. Beautiful.
Arthur had never felt more at peace than this moment.
“This way,” Charles instructed, leading away from the path. Arthur followed, still curious.
“What is it we're looking at?” He finally asked as he pulled up beside the other man. They were headed up the side of a small mountain. It wasn't tall enough for the snow to land, but it was still a bit of a hike for the horses.
“I'm not sure I can describe it accurately. You'll have to wait until we're up there.”
“Alright, Mystery Man,” he teased, causing a small chuckle to escape the man. Arthur couldn't help the skip in his heartbeat.
At one point, they had to ditch their horses and climb up on foot. Arthur praised his younger self for always climbing around in order to get into trouble.
He was almost to the top and saw a hand extended down to him. When he looked up, his breath caught in his throat. The way the moon illuminated behind Charles made him appear ethereal. The smile on his face was kind and full of warmth, causing no hesitation for Arthur to reach up and grab the hand extended to him. Carefully, he was pulled up to the top. He couldn't stop the hammering in his chest as Charles held him up, held him close, as the two looked at each other for a long moment.
Arthur came to his senses quickly, coughing and pulling back a bit as he looked out. Charles cleared his throat before moving towards the center of the little plateau. He gestured out towards the expanse and Arthur now saw what was worth showing.
Below them were the vast open plains. Various small campfires lit them up, much like the stars lit up the night sky above them. Arthur paused, taking in the view with a reverence one would give God. Maybe this was His doing. Maybe this was just the way the world had always looked. Maybe the world would never look like this again. But for this moment, it was serene and beautiful and Arthur didn’t want to be anywhere else.
“Wow,” he said softly after a moment.
“Told you it was hard to describe,” Charles said beside him, a smile present in his voice. “I missed being able to just sit in the wilderness and see what the land has to offer.”
“You used to see this all the time?”
“Mhm. When I was alone I always made it a mission to find a new view, a new perspective, to see the world before I put my head down to rest. It’s harder to find these moments being with a group, but I think that makes the moments where I can find them that much more special.”
“Thank you for showing me. I don’t tend to look for things like this, but I understand why you do. It’s a beautiful country.”
Charles hummed in agreement. He sat down near the edge, his legs dangling off, and pulled either the same bottle from before or a new one from his pack and began to sip on it. Arthur took a moment to collect himself before joining him, leaving a small bit of space between.
“If you prefer this, seeing these sights, I can’t understand why you stay with the group.” Stop. Stop talking. Arthur for once just shut up. “Don’t get me wrong, we like having you here. I just don’t understand why you’d give up this just to be with us.”
The man was quiet for a moment, sipping the bottle and looking out at the expanse before turning his attention to Arthur. He stared at him a moment and Arthur did his best to hold it, praying the steady blush growing on his cheeks could be attributed to the alcohol.
“There’s more to life than just nature. I needed the community.”
Arthur shrugged, taking a swig before turning his attention back to the plains. He couldn’t look at Charles anymore.
“Why do you stay? From what I hear, you could have had a proper life once. Why did you stay?”
Arthur sighed softly. It was only a matter of time before Charles asked about Mary. He had only been with them for not even a year, long after everything with Mary went down.
“It wouldn’t have worked out. I’m… too much of Dutch’s boy. She was- is a good woman. Her daddy didn’t like me, knew who I was, what I did. I can’t change who I am. And she couldn’t accept that, and wasn’t willing to adjust or adapt to that. So, we parted ways.”
Silence fell between the two for a few moments.
“If it’s any consolation, I think you’re a good man, Arthur Morgan.”
A smile danced across his lips. “I’m a lot of things, I don’t think good is one of them.”
“Do you trust me?”
The question caught Arthur off guard.
“What?” He looked over, bewildered.
“Do you trust me? Trust my words and what I say?”
“Sure, but-”
“Then trust me when I say you’re a good man. I know I don’t know everything about you, about what you’ve done. To you, maybe those things are irredeemable. But the man that I’ve known and seen? He’s good. He cares about others. He saves and spares people as often as he can, unless they’re shooting at him. He is kind to nature, and avenges her when poachers kill for no reason. He spends time with the family he’s helped to create and draws in others to his warmth.” Charles put his hand on Arthur's shoulder. “You're a good man.”
Arthur didn't know how to respond to that. He was shocked. And falling even more for Charles. He wanted to kiss him, wanted to hold him. He wanted him in any and every capacity that Charles would allow.
“I-” The words faltered in his mouth. Talking hadn't ever been his strong suit. He preferred action.
Tilting his head a bit so as to not get Charles with his hat, Arthur leaned in quickly and pressed his lips to the other's. It was fast, barely anything, and felt like lightning striking. He pulled back, but was unable to read Charles's face and that terrified him.
“I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me,” he said as he stood quickly. “I'll just go back to camp. If you like, I can tell the group you decided to split ways. You'll never have to see me again.” He began to walk towards the other edge where he'd climb down to his horse.
A hand wrapped around his wrist, pulling him back around so he was face to face with Charles. Arthur prepared for whatever death he was about to face at the hands of the man before him.
Instead, the hand released his wrist, moving up to remove his hat entirely.
“You worry too much,” Charles said softly before closing the distance between them again to kiss Arthur, one hand on the back of his neck.
Arthur was too shocked to do anything at first. Was this really happening? It felt real. Please let it be real.
He wrapped his arms around the other man, pulling him flesh against his body as a hand ran up to settle on Charles' shoulder. He kissed back with fervor, with desire, with need. God above he hadn't been intimate with anyone since Mary, and now here he was kissing a beautiful man beneath the stars. He wanted more, but didn't know what or how to ask.
He pulled back just enough to press his forehead to the other man's. They breathed in each other's air, taking solace in this moment together. “I-”
“I've wanted to do that for a long time,” Charles admitted. They shared a small laugh. “You don't need to fear me, Arthur.”
“I've only ever kissed one feller before, and that was when I was a boy. And beyond him, I haven’t exactly been lucky in the lady department,” he told him, pulling back a bit more so he could look at him properly.
“I'm no expert on this either,” he smiled. “I know you weren't there, but after Blackwater I told myself I would try not to hesitate anymore, lest I end up like Lenny after Jenny was killed. Selfishly, it's another reason I was so adamant to go with you to teach you how to hunt on the mountains. Sure, I wanted to get away from Pearson, but I also really wanted to spend some time with you.”
Arthur shook his head at the confession from Charles, an affectionate smile on his face. “Mr. Smith, you are a gentleman.”
“I could show you the ways in which I'm not.”
Arthur's breath hitched in his throat at the words, becoming light headed at the dark and hungry expression on Charles’s face. He wanted that. He had no idea what it meant but he wanted it so badly. He nodded once, hoping Charles would follow through. Thankfully, the man seemed to understand.
They closed the gap between them again, this time with more passionate and hungry kisses, like they'd been starved from affection their whole lives, and maybe they had been. Charles's hands began to roam, gently pulling at pieces of Arthur's ensemble as he slowly began to disrobe him. Arthur shivered as the cool air danced across his skin, falling more into Charles’s embrace. Not to be alone, he began to pull at the clothes on Charles’s body as well, eliciting a small hum from the man. Once they were both at least shirtless, hands began to wander around the exposed skin.
Arthur’s fingers traced old scars, wondering how each had found their place on the skin. Charles, to his effort, was holding Arthur by the waist while his lips pressed openmouthed kisses along Arthur’s neck and shoulders, causing the man to gasp softly. One hand moved to hold Charles’s head, fingers threading between the hair as he held on for dear life.
“I want to ask,” Charles pulled back, “there's a couple ways we could do this, but I don't know your comfort level with either. You said you're a bit inexperienced with men, so I can run through them with you, if you like?”
“A-Alright.”
“Well, if we want to go fully, there's two options. I enter you, or you enter me. I have some oil in my bag that we can use either way, though I might climb down to grab our bedrolls so it's a bit more comfortable for us.” Charles, ever the one to plan ahead. “We could try one this time and then switch it up next time?”
Arthur's brow lifted in surprise. Next time? Charles wanted this to happen more?
“Um,” he faltered. “Since this is rather sudden, and I lack experience, maybe this time I enter you, get a feel for it and prepare myself a little bit for the other side? Maybe you could guide me, make sure I don't fuck it up.”
“Don't you ever doubt yourself, Arthur,” Charles said, kissing him sweetly. “But alright. Let me grab the bedrolls and lay them out for us to use. Do you want to start a small fire so we don't freeze up here?”
Arthur could tell he was being offered a bone, something to keep his hands busy while he waited. He nodded, and the two parted fully from the other for the first time in a few minutes. They each went about their task, Arthur able to set up a small campfire with the twigs and branches up here. He used his boot to start a match, careful with the flame as he lit the leaves and twine. It took a small bit to get it to a proper flame that would last them. Once it was done Arthur decided to remove his boots at the very least, with him pulling off the second just as Charles lifted himself back up onto the plateau. Arthur hadn't seen the two bedrolls tossed up, but noticed them now as Charles picked them up before walking over. The two men laid them out carefully next to each other, wanting to give the most amount of room to work with. Once they were both happy with the situation, they turned to one another once more.
“Right. Now what?” Arthur asked, a bit nervous.
“Well, we have to prepare me a bit before we can do the full thing,” Charles said as he began to take off his trousers. Arthur's cheeks warmed at the sight. “There's a small bottle, which looks like a medicine bottle, in my pack. Can you grab it while I get comfortable?”
Arthur simply nodded, grateful for a task to do. He dug through the pack and found the bottle in question. It wasn't labeled as anything, which led him to believe it was the correct one. He turned back to Charles and stopped in his tracks.
Charles was completely nude, laying on his back. One of his hands was behind his head while the other rested on his chest. His legs were spread open a bit, between them sitting a handsome and well proportioned cock that was visibly already at least halfway up.
“You're beautiful,” Arthur breathed, kneeling between Charles's legs.
The other hummed in amusement. “Now, take the oil, apply a generous amount to one of your fingers,” Arthur followed along diligently. “Good.” Charles took his hand and led it to his hole. “Start slow, I'll let you know when to pick up the pace or add another, okay?”
“Okay,” he replied breathily.
Gently, he applied pressure, pushing his finger in, his head becoming fuzzy at the sounds that Charles made beneath him. His eyes kept running back and forth between where his finger disappeared, and up to Charles's face, trying to watch for any signs of pain as well as make sure he was doing it right.
“More,” Charles said roughly. “Add a second.”
“You sure?”
“This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.”
Arthur's head was swimming, but he did what he was told. He applied a bit more oil and added a second finger, enraptured by the way Charles sucked him in. And the sounds.
Charles had thrown his head back, eyes closed in what Arthur hoped was pleasure. He slowly began to move his fingers in and out, watching his companion breathe heavily at the movement, small moans escaping from his lips. Arthur palmed himself if only to relieve some of the pressure that had built up between his legs. He wanted Charles so badly.
“Faster,” Charles whined.
The pace picked up. Charles moaned loudly, eyes closed. He reached out and took Arthur's hand, their fingers interlaced. Arthur moved his body, leaning up and forward, dragging Charles's hand up above him as he continued to pick up the pace. Charles's eyes opened, looking at him with both shock and need, his mouth open as gasps and moans tumbled out. Arthur leaned down, capturing the man’s lips with his own, inhaling all the sounds from Charles hungrily. He dipped his head down, kissing the exposed neck before him, leaving marks on the collarbone and the meat of the shoulder.
“Fuck, Arthur!” Charles exclaimed, his back arching. His free hand found purchase in Arthur's hair, pulling slightly, eliciting a small moan from the man himself.
“That's it,” Arthur hummed. “Give me some more.”
Charles pulled harder as he moaned more and louder. “I can't wait anymore, fuck me.”
“You sure?”
“Arthur, please. ”
How could he say no?
He removed his fingers carefully. He realized he still had his pants on. He took a moment to remove them, becoming nude like his companion before returning between the man's legs. He applied some of the oil to his cock, spreading it down the length before pressing the tip to Charles's entrance.
They looked to one another, Arthur awaiting approval to continue. Charles nodded, his own hands holding his legs open. The air was chill, and the energy between them was full of nervous need. They both craved this, but also knew that this line could not be crossed back over. Arthur’s heart slammed in chest. He steeled his nerves just enough to press in, nearly collapsing at the feeling of even just the tip being inside the other man. He cursed softly.
It took a few moments of slow and steady movement. Arthur didn’t want to hurt Charles by going too fast, but he also wanted to take his time with this. He hadn’t been intimate with anyone in so long. He didn’t want to rush it. Especially not with Charles, who he cared a great deal for. Finally, after a bit, he bottomed out. The two stayed there a moment, breathing heavily and taking in the feeling of each other like this.
“Fuck,” one of them said.
Arthur slowly began to move his hips, instinct guiding him. Both men moaned and held onto each other. His head was spinning, drunk on the feeling and the noises of Charles. He'd never felt anything like this before. He panted into the crook of the man's neck as he began to find a steady pace. He felt Charles's hands roam his body, pulling at him, scratching down his back.
They stayed at the pace for a little while, with the only disruption being from Arthur when he readjusted the way his cock slammed into Charles. Soon enough, far sooner than Arthur anticipated, Charles was gripping him tight and holding him close, his moans becoming whimpers.
“Arthur, I-”
“Come on, boy. I'll help you. Just let go,” Arthur decided to set a brutally fast pace, wanting to help Charles cross that pleasure line fully. He held the man's legs spread and up as he fucked him with great vigor, fueled by the way Charles clenched and pulled and moaned loudly for the stars to hear. Arthur took one of his hands and began to stroke Charles's cock in rhythm with his thrusts, causing the man to very quickly cry out and came all over Arthur's hand. He didn't mind, simply slowed his pace a bit and licked his hand clean.
After a moment, Charles seemed to be a bit more coherent, eyes wandering to him from the starry expanse they had been staring at in his fugue state.
“That's my boy,” Arthur mewed.
“Where the fuck did you learn how to do that ?” Charles said, exasperated.
Arthur chuckled. “It ain't so different from women. And I know what feels good for me, so I figured that might be the same for you.”
“You guessed correctly, my friend.” He paused, looking down. “Shit. Did you-?”
“Nah, but it's okay. I liked being able to do this for you.”
“Nope. Not happening. Pull out, I'm going to make sure you're pleased, too.”
Arthur did as he was told, though both groaned the sensation. Charles pushed him back so that Arthur was now the one laying down and Chales was began his legs, albeit his position was much different. He was situated so that he could use his hands and mouth more, which was exactly what he began to do.
With a swift motion, Charles took Arthur's cock into his mouth. Arthur immediately ran a hand to Charles's head and held on. The warmth of the man's mouth was different from his hole, but still incredibly enjoyable. At one point Charles took the whole thing, his tip partially down Charles's throat. From that moment on, it did not take long for Arthur to finish, having already been turned on by everything before. To his credit, Charles swallowed every drop when Arthur came.
The two pulled each other close, their gravity becoming one. Arthur didn't even mind tasting himself on Charles's tongue when he kissed him. They stayed like that a small while before a sharp wind danced across their bare bodies, eliciting a chill to run through them. They got at least a little dressed before falling back into each other's space once more, this time with Arthur's head on Charles's chest.
“Did you mean it?” Arthur asked quietly after a few minutes of silence.
“Mean what?” Charles answered. The fingers that had been threading through Arthur's hair paused.
“When you-?” He paused, suddenly terrified at his own question. Did he really want to know? He sat up, sighing a bit to himself, maybe at himself. “Earlier, you said somethin’ about next time. Did you mean it?”
Charles sat up next to him, instantly putting a hand on his shoulder. “Of course I meant it, Arthur. When have you ever known me to lie in general, but especially lie to you?”
That was a fair point.
“I do want to ask, for my own sake. Is that all this is?”
“How do you mean?” Arthur looked over at him, brow furrowed slightly.
“Sex. Is that all you're looking for from me? From anyone? It's fine if it is, I just want to know now.”
“The sex is nice, I'll admit. The other stuff, well… It hasn't ever gone in my direction fully before. I don't really know what to do with it, or what I really want.”
“That's alright. How about you figure it out and then get back to me?”
“Alright. But,” he paused, “what do you want? What is this to you?”
“Oh, Arthur.” Charles kissed him. “I'd wrangle the stars from the sky if you asked me to.”
Arthur didn't know how to respond to that. He leaned on Charles, pressing his face into the crook of the man's neck. They lost their balance and tumbled back onto the bedrolls together, but Charles held him tight and close.
“Take some time. Figure out what exactly you want. I'll be here, and I promise you, any answer you come up with is okay. It's about how you feel.”
“If my answer don't line up with yours, what then?” He didn't want to admit it, but he was scared. They led dangerous lives. At any moment they could get strung up by the neck or shot in a gunfight. It was always dangerous to put feelings into something, because it meant you had more to lose. It's why he and Mary parted ways, partially at least.
“Then our answers don't line up, and we figure out what that means.” Charles rubbed Arthur's back soothingly. “For now, let's get some rest.”
The two went quiet, laying in each other's space. The silence was comfortable. The sounds of the fire and Charles's breathing were slowly lulling Arthur to sleep.
He didn't know what he wanted. Mary had asked him something similar once. What he wanted. If this life was worth it. He still didn't have answers. He knew he cared about Charles, more than he probably should. Maybe he could talk to Hosea, he always knew what to say, how to fix a situation. He'd know what to do. Dutch was… well, Arthur believed he liked Miss O'Shea well enough, but he could tell it wasn't the same feelings he had with Annabelle. And considering Arthur wasn't one hundred percent sure Dutch had fully calmed down from the business on the ferry, bringing this to him wouldn't be wise.
Arthur settled more into Charles's arms with a plan to talk to Hosea as soon as he could in his mind, and drifted off to sleep.
~~~
The morning came far too quickly, the sun's rays waking Arthur up as they appeared over the horizon. He rubbed his eyes, blinking a few times as he adjusted to his surroundings again. Charles was next to him, though focused on the fire for a moment before producing a cup of coffee.
“Morning.”
“Mornin’.”
“You sleep okay?” Charles asked, gravitating more into Arthur's space, who leaned back into his.
“Yeah. Not long enough, but it was alright. What about you?” He sipped his coffee.
“Better than I have in a while, if I'm honest,” he chuckled, which made Arthur smile.
“Do you want to ride back together?”
“Would that be conspicuous?”
Charles paused for a moment. “I'm not sure if anyone saw us ride out together, but I suppose it's fair that two riding in would be a bit odd.” He sipped his own coffee. “I might head into Valentine, pick up a few things if I can and then head back.”
“Alright,” Arthur replied, mostly speaking into his cup.
“Arthur.”
The man looked over, then was met with a kiss. He didn't know he needed that, the tension in his shoulders releasing.
“We'll be okay, no matter what. Just take some time for yourself.” Charles emptied out his cup and stashed it away. He rolled up his bedroll and tucked it under his arm. “I'll see you back at camp.”
Arthur waved him off, watching him drop down over the ledge and listening to him climb into his horse and ride off. He stayed a little while longer to finish his coffee before he tore down the small campfire and followed suit. It took a moment to figure out where he was at first once he got down the mountain, but once he did it was a straight shot back to camp.
The ride was easy, and he was careful to make sure no one saw him disappear into the trees. He waved to Karen as he rode in. The camp seemed normal, maybe no one had noticed. Hopefully. He could only imagine the shit Micah would say.
Once he hitched his horse, he walked around the camp a bit, saying hello to folks in order to not arouse suspicion. Finally, he got to the person he had wanted to talk to the most.
“Hey, Hosea.”
“Good morning, Arthur.”
“You busy?”
“Not currently, no. I was going to have one of the girls head into town for me but that can wait. You seem troubled.” It seemed Hosea was very observant, especially when it came to Arthur.
“Will you take a walk with me?”
The man stood immediately. Arthur led him back through the trees, this time on foot, but they followed the path down to the river that ran below their little cliff. Arthur hoped the sound of it would help muffle over their words. After a few minutes, Arthur stopped walking and merely stared at the water.
“Do you remember, back when I was about fifteen or so, you gave me a very stern talking to about the fact that I got that boy, Henry, killed?”
“Yes, I remember. We ended up hunting a buck and leaving it on the porch of the family as an apology.” There was a hint of a smile on the older man's face. “John got jealous that you and I had spent three days together, so he made Dutch take him fishing, and they didn't catch anything over two pounds.”
The two shared a laugh, reminiscing in the memory together.
“The reason I ask is that, well. That feeling I had when I kissed Henry never went away. And I may have acted on it again.”
“Well, I didn't expect it to go away. I assume you were smarter this time around.”
“Yes and no.”
Hosea's brow furrowed. “Arthur, what happened?”
He sighed. “We weren't seen. But I care about him, and he seems to care about me. But that ain't exactly smart in our line of work. Hell, Mary left because she couldn't handle the fear.”
“Mary thought she could change you from a lifetime of survival.” Hosea said quickly. Arthur could tell he'd been thinking about this a long time. “Unfortunately, you were born fighting for your survival. It's all you've ever known, and believe me I do feel guilty that Dutch and I added onto that.”
“I wouldn't trade the life I've lived for anything.” He placed a hand on the other's shoulder. Arthur never wanted Hosea to doubt that this family meant the world to him.
“I know, Arthur,” a kind smile.
After a moment, Arthur removed his hand and continued. “I don't know what to do about it. He asked me if it was just about sex or if there was more. And I don't know what I want. What would you do?” He was desperate for some sort of guidance, someone to tell him what to do.
“Oh, Arthur. I can't tell you what to do. I'm guessing it's someone here at camp, and I'd wager I could guess who,” Arthur's cheeks reddened. “But this is something you'll have to figure out for yourself. Figure out how much you care about him and if that care is worth every risk that comes with it, not just the ones that exist because of our lifestyle. I can't promise how others in the camp will react either.”
Arthur hadn't thought about that. This was still something big, something people had feelings about. He could guess at some reactions, like Micah. But he hadn’t any idea how John or Bill or even Dutch would respond. “Would he kick us out?” He asked quietly, feeling much like a scared child.
“Oh, my boy. Dutch is a lot of things, but I can promise you he isn't someone to do that. Especially since it'd make him a hypocrite.” That earned a curious glance from Arthur. “We never put a name to what we did, mostly because afterwards we both found people we loved dearly, but affection held us close before they came into the picture. Back when it was just us three, he and I would get up to things.”
“I don't think I want to hear specifics,” the two shared a laugh. He did not want to imagine the people he considered his parents being intimate like he and Charles had been. “Thank you. I'm still not sure what to do, fully, but this has helped me figure out there's a lot to consider.”
“I know it's a terrifying thing, letting yourself care about someone, but I also don't want you to let the fear outweigh the care. If this is what you decide and the camp doesn't react well, I will help the two of you escape.”
“Hosea, I can't leave-”
“You can and you will. They hang people for this, Arthur.” He placed both his hands on his shoulders. “I won't let this camp protect you from the noose only when it benefits them but turn their backs when you actually need the protection.”
He was stunned. “What about Dutch? Sure you two were a thing or whatever but, this is different. What about my loyalty to-?”
“I don't give a damn about your loyalty. This is about your life , Arthur. Your happiness. You can't spend your whole life under anyone's boot, do you hear me?”
Arthur stayed quiet but nodded. This was a lot to consider. He didn't want to end up killed for his feelings, but he also wanted to make sure that Charles knew how much he cared for him, and wanted to be able to express that. He stared out at the running water.
“I can't tell you what to do,” Hosea said, removing his hands. “This is something you have to decide for yourself. You couldn't leave when Mary wanted you to. But you're older now, know yourself and the world a little better. You have to decide what's more important for you. I'll support you no matter what.”
“Thanks, Hosea.”
The older man patted his shoulder twice before walking off. Arthur stayed by the water until midday before heading back to camp.