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Chapter Text

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

A GALAXY AT WAR!

The sinister FIRST ORDER leads a war against the brave RESISTANCE, but their numbers far surpass that of the rebellion group.

Despite their help from the REPUBLIC, rebel forces are in a desperate play to find the LAST JEDI to save them from the growing darkness.

Meanwhile, deep in the heart of the First Order, trouble is brewing within the menacing Knight of Ren, KYLO REN. A powerful dark side Force user and apprentice to SNOKE, the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

LIGHT AND DARK are at war within the young Knight,

and a choice will have to be made. . .

34 ABY, Illum system

Standing in orbit around the heart of nowhere was a large, formidable ship. Its arrowhead-like shape was appropriate for the reputation it carried, cutting through planets at large and devastating the lives of all who fell before it. The Finalizer remained a frightening image over the planet of Jakku long past the desired amount of time any on board wanted to spend near the wasteland- though they had their guest, they were missing one crucial piece of information. Her commanders would not leave the planet alone to continue withering away into obscurity until they had their quarry. This, as it seems, was the one thing they could agree on. However, as one oversaw the interrogation of their guest, the other was left alone, retired to his rooms to contemplate something… unexpected.

Though many might, the silence of those large, empty quarters was something that he never really appreciated. Not when there wasn’t a true silence to be found in this supposed ‘refuge.’ Between the large body of sentient beings on the Star Destroyer, with their screaming thoughts and overwhelming presence, and the constant and otherworldly whispering in his ear, silence was a fable to him. It had been like that his whole life. For the longest time, he thought it was normal. He was always gifted, they’d said. Strong in things others fell short of. They said it was a gift, and in some instances, it was, but most of the time, it was a curse. He couldn’t escape the noise, and there were days when his quarters only amplified it. Which led to him avoiding them when he could, but for this, he needed the privacy.

At that moment, however, it was not the nonsensical chatter from the officers and troopers, his grandfather's sinister voice, or the darkness that claimed him so long ago that plagued Kylo Ren. They had fallen into the backdrop in the presence of something else. The memory of what had occurred only hours ago, on that desert wasteland where they were searching for and found a piece of his past, repeated endlessly in his head. The words of a dying man giving him pause in a way that he never should entertain.

Something far worse has happened to you.

I know where you come from, before you called yourself "Kylo Ren".

The First Order rose from the Dark Side, you did not.

You cannot deny the truth that is your family.

Something far worse has happened to you.

The helmet creaked and groaned under a harsh grip as he held it between his hands, the dark void where eyes should be bearing into him as he stared down at the battered mask. The impression he got from this monstrous front was almost accusatory, as if it could hear the old man’s words continuing to churn in the Knight’s head. It was a most shameful display of weakness, and he feared that a certain far away, yet ever-looming master would pick up on the final words of Tekka and see how they affected his apprentice. The only reason he knew he hadn’t yet was because Kylo was sure the Supreme Leader’s anger would be so intense that he’d be strangled with it from where he stood on the opposite end of the galaxy. But try as he might, Ren couldn’t get the voices to shut up. 

It was happening again. The Light was now doubling its efforts to lure him away from his current path. Trying to make him doubt, to make him waver. To make him weak again. Ren hadn’t seen this coming, not after seeing Tekka , of all people. Skywalker’s old friend. An old man that had tagged along on some of the Jedi’s adventures. Adventures that he’d brought his young nephew along as well—

Ren held no fondness nor sympathy for the old fool who clung to a philosophy that should’ve died years ago. It shouldn’t have affected him. But it wasn’t their connection that brought this on. No. It was something much worse.

As much as he wanted to blame him, Ren knew this call had been building for a long time. When he’d forged himself anew in the ashes of his past, he’d foolishly hoped that the conflict, this tug of war going on within him between the light and dark sides of the Force as they each tried to claim him as their champion, that had tormented him his whole life would finally be over. Instead, Kylo had only traded temptation for pain.

The silence was broken by a growl of frustration as he stood, agitated steps echoing far louder than they should’ve as he slammed the mask onto its placeholder in his quarters. The noise carried on as he did, pacing from one end of his bedroom to the other.

All his life, he’d known he was always meant to be more. More than those that came before him, more than those that surrounded him. What that meant, that was an answer he’d been searching for for a long time. Many had claimed to know the answer themselves, pushing their point of view on the young boy. Their expectations shaped by the achievements of his family. He hadn’t known what he wanted his life to be, but he knew he hadn’t wanted that. His life always overshadowed by the heroics of his family.

There was more to his legacy than that, however. He was the grandson of Darth Vader. A powerful Sith Lord feared by many. His was a legacy that had been kept from him for so long, but he knew why now.

He could still smell the smoke. Smell the burning flesh of those unfortunate enough to be within the temple when it exploded. In the moments before he’d tried denying the truth of who he was, but the days that followed only solidified the inevitable. Not even the efforts of the Padawans were enough to sway him.

There was more to him and his destiny than what he’d been told as a boy, in an attempt to hold him back from his potential, or delay the inevitable. He’d decided then that he would be nothing but his true self. What he’d become since then was everything the galaxy had feared when the truth came out. And no longer weighed down by the limitations of Skywalker’s teachings and the weight of misplaced expectations, he was allowed to rise higher than he ever had before. He’d only scratched the surface of his potential, this he knew, but still, something was holding him back. Snoke knew this as well. A weakness he’d not been able to shake. 

The last remnants of Ben Solo stubbornly refusing to die.

It was like a parasite, this last connection he had to the Light. Some days it was easier to ignore than others, but the pain… that was harder. He was tormented by this, every day it grew more severe, and with it so did Snoke’s ire. He’d found himself on thin ice with the more experienced dark sider more times than he would’ve preferred. His failings needed to be corrected, yet despite this determination, he found himself wondering, with alarming frequency, if what he was doing was the right path.

The feelings that brought one closer to the Light were a weakness, his master had told him, and he couldn’t have been more right.

It worried him.

It worried him how hard it was to let go. To cast out these thoughts and feelings. How his instability only worsened after his fall, when he should’ve been free. It was driving him insane. That was part of the reason why he was so hell-bent on this mission to find Skywalker and end the Jedi. He would never admit to this weakness, but he was hoping this act could be the thing that would free him from this pain. If he could end the Jedi, and get his revenge, perhaps then could he finally ascend.

Like his grandfather did.

But a traitorous voice that sounded suspiciously like Tekka’s, or perhaps it was another, one that had been there and growing stronger with each passing day, whispered in his ear.

Is that really what you want?

The Knight’s shoulders drew tightly together, like a wild beast angered and ready to strike. The taunting thoughts threatened to topple him more than once over the years and he was done with it. It was tearing him apart and his limit was fast approaching. But before the crescendo of unstable energy could peak and bend the walls around him, his commlink beeped at his waist.

His breath rattled unevenly as his eyes closed and he forced himself to reign in the destructive power he held at his fingertips. Something that was difficult in some of the better circumstances, but especially in moments of the extremes. A gloved hand unclenched and reached for the device with stiff movements.

“ Ren .”

General Hux’s grating tone, sounding as miffed about having to make the call as Ren was beginning to feel about receiving it, crackled from the speaker. “The rebel pilot you apprehended has refused to give us the information we need, Ren. It’s your turn.”

Ren switched the commlink off before Hux could finish, the tension, or at least a fraction of it, leaving his shoulders with the heavy sigh that followed. Not a moment was wasted to retrieve his mask, but as it clicked into place and the Knight left his quarters to head for the interrogation deck, that uneasy feeling grew.

What Tekka said and these feelings meant, they wouldn’t distract him from his mission of revenge and taking what was rightfully his. He was done failing. He had a job to do, and nothing would stand in his way of it.

He couldn’t allow it.

Back on Jakku, there was a troublesome little droid tailing behind a rather strange girl.

Rey gave her companion a rather tight smile. Though she knew she’d made the right decision, everyone else around her would’ve killed for the offer Plutt gave her for the droid and she knew half of them were probably thinking of killing her for the droid and those portions. They would’ve sustained her for months if she’d been careful, longer if she stored part of them. 

The droid not being hers to sell aside though, she knew not everyone there viewed their mechanical counterparts with the same kindness as she did. She’d hate to think what the little thing would’ve gone through had Plutt gotten his grubby hands on him. Besides, the droid had an important mission. Classified above top secret. Far be it from her to keep him from it.

Then there was that thing that they had in common. They were both waiting for someone. The thought of being the one to make finding his person or his person finding him harder, likely impossible… it didn’t sit right. It felt wrong. Though the pragmatist in her reminded the scavenger of the odds of an off-worlder surviving the desert, she wanted to believe for BB-8’s sake that his friend was out there looking for him and that he’d find him soon. Just like her family was out looking for her, and would find her soon…

BB-8 sped up to roll alongside her, his domed head turning on its swivel to look up at the Jakkuian girl with an inquisitive beep.

Rey blinked as the question interrupted her thoughts, giving a confused Hm? before the question registered. “Portions? Oh, they’re- well they’re food. Currency around here. Credits aren’t really worth much unless you work with the off-worlders. We scavengers find parts and sell them for portions.”

BB-8 gave an understanding chirp, and she didn’t need to know binary to know his following question.

Rey sighed, before giving the little droid a small, genuine smile. “I’m not in the habit of selling lost little droids. Besides, your master could show up at any time, yeah? Best to make sure you’re still here when that happens.”

BB-8 gave an excited, if worried, affirmative. Which Rey couldn’t blame him for. Jakku was a dangerous place as it is, and as they moved further throughout the outpost, she heard the whispers of an attack that happened last night, in a village not far from her AT-AT. Close enough that she began to suspect if the droid had come from there, given the direction she’d seen Teedo coming from with the netted screaming ball in tow.

She hadn’t the heart to ask him about what she suspected might be true, if he and his master had been caught up in it. He believed his master was alive and coming for him, that had to be enough for her.

Stopping at the cleaning barracks, Rey sighed and wiped away a bit of sweat that had formed on her brow. Hazel eyes scanned over the crowd, as if she would find a stranger looking for a lost white and orange BB unit among the workers and happabores. Nothing but familiar, sand-ridden worn out faces could be found. Looking down at her companion, she gestured with a jerk of her head towards the outskirts of the market.

“Come on, I know I said until morning, but it really isn’t safe to wander alone. Your master will have better luck spotting you if we’re not in the center of all this.” Plus, they would be better off in a place where they weren’t so vulnerable. It’d be easy to end up overwhelmed there, on the outskirts not so much and they’d have access to an easier escape. She’d felt the tension that spiked when Plutt put those portions on the table, the jealousy and greed and hunger from the others. The sooner she got this droid back to his owner and off this planet, the better.

Rey stopped on occasion with idle chit-chat with some of the elders. She’d made friends with a few during her childhood, those who were kind enough to help a poor, scared little girl- or perhaps they’d just taken pity on her- but they had all long since passed. Those that had taken their place were like most on Jakku, keeping their heads down and hands to themselves, lest they get into a scuffle. The older they got, the harder it was to recover, and no one could afford that there. The people her own age were more reserved, and would sooner be friendly just to get close enough to clear someone of their everything than show an ounce of genuine kindness.

As she talked, she felt BB-8 bump into her shin and nearly sent her into the old woman's stand, giving Kaarla an apologetic look, Rey stepped away and knelt down with her hand up to gesture for the droid to slow down his rapid-fire beeps.

“Hey- Hey, I can’t keep up. What is it? Did you see him? Your master, where—”

The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, and she had a moment to consider that perhaps it was not his master the droid had seen, but something else, when a dirty hand grabbed her arm and jerked her back.

“We’ll be takin’ that, you little rat.”

Two men that Rey recognized as some of Unkar Plutt’s attack dogs had snuck up on the pair, rushing to nab the unaware girl once Beebee had made them. Rey’s dirty features twisted in a snarl as she tried to twist her arm out of the sleemo’s hold when the other threw a sack over the frightened droid.

Rey managed to turn enough to bite the asshole’s bicep, freeing her staff from its place on her shoulder once he dropped her with an enraged howl. When the other came to his aid, she swung the end of her staff at his jaw with a satisfying crack and kicked the first chump’s knee out. The scuffle lasted only for a couple of minutes before the two ran with their tail between their legs, likely to lick their wounds for a bit before they got fresh ones from Plutt. Rey swore under her breath because she knew this was only the beginning.

She didn’t have too long to worry about Plutt’s retaliation or the possibility of those two having friends when BB-8, now freed from the sack, started going wild at her feet again. This time with a different kind of urgency, and a fair amount of anger. Brows knitting together, Rey turned down at the droid before looking in the direction his dome was swiveling towards.

“Who? Him?” Standing halfway between the market and the watering hole for the animals was a dark-skinned human wearing clothes far from appropriate for the desert. For a moment, she wondered if this was Beebee’s master until the little thing angrily told her that it was the jacket he recognized and the man was not its owner. Frowning, Rey stood with narrow eyes and adjusted her hold on her quarterstaff before charging forward.

The man looked confused, then frightened, before predictably running away right into the throng of tents. Rey’s eyes narrowed further as she followed him after one turn, before taking another at the next. Whoever this man was, he’d clearly been in contact with BB-8’s master and deigned to steal from the lost man.

Keeping him in the corner of her eye, Rey took another turn ahead of him and swung her staff out just as he was about to pass, taking a stance in front of him with her staff leveled threateningly at his face.

“What’s the hurry, thief?”

The man grunted and wheezed, before looking up at her with an incredulous expression. “Wh- thief?!?

A faint growl escaped Rey, but before she could press, BB-8 beat her to it with a well-aimed shock that pulled an exclamation of surprise and pain from the downed man.

“That jacket! The droid said you stole it!”

The stranger’s eyes narrowed as he pushed himself into an upright position, and Rey almost laughed at his gall when his look of surprise was replaced with indignation. “I’ve had a pretty messed up day, alright? So I’d appreciate it if you stopped accusing me- OW!! Stop it!”

BB-8 gave a defiant beep as his welding arm gave another threatening spark. Rey leveled her staff at the man again with a stern look. “Where’d you get it? It belongs to his master.”

The thought of something happening to a man she never met, though she’d told herself that she was only doing it for Beebee’s sake, she really had wanted to believe that his master was alright and would come for him soon. She knew all about waiting, about going to bed every night disappointed and waking up with hope every morning. It was a pain she wouldn’t wish upon anyone.

The gears were clearly turning in the man’s head after that. After a moment, a frustrated, but heavy sigh left him, and an uneasy feeling rose in Rey’s gut.

“It belonged to Poe Dameron. That was his name, right?”

Both Rey and BB-8 reacted, the droid confirming what he’d said while that uneasy feeling settled more firmly at the man’s choice of the word was . Rey recalled Beebee mentioning the name to her last night. BB-8 hadn’t seemed to notice and inched forward a little as if encouraging him to go on.

The man continued as if he understood. “He was captured by the First Order. I helped him escape, but our ship crashed…” The look that crossed his face confirmed Rey’s fear. “He didn’t make it.”

It would be an easy lie to make, but the pain in the man's voice seemed so real. Rey felt her own heart swell with sadness as BB-8 gave a quiet, depressed beep before rolling off. The man’s promise that he had tried to help the droid’s master fell on deaf audio receptors.

With a sigh, Rey lowered her staff before digging it into the sand next to her feet. In an effort to change the conversation into something a little less depressing, she turned to the man with a look of genuine curiosity. “So you’re with the Resistance?”

The man looked up from the droid with an unreadable expression before answering. “Obviously I am, yes. I am with the Resistance.” His voice dropped into a whisper as he remembered where they were. Just as well, information like that wasn’t exactly safe in a place like Jakku.

Rey felt excitement begin to bubble. She’d only heard of the fight between the First Order and the Resistance from the deep space pilots and smugglers that came through the outpost. Though the First Order had shown its face around the junkland, she’d never seen any fighting. Her helmet was the closest she’d gotten to the rebels. Until now. “I’ve never met a Resistance fighter before.”

The man seemed almost proud for a moment as he gestured to himself. “Well, this is what we look like. Some of us. Others look different.”

Rey’s excitement only grew. “BB-8 says he’s on a secret mission, he has to get back to your base.”

The man nodded and dropped his voice again, not wanting the next bit of information to be heard. “Apparently he’s carrying the map to Luke Skywalker, and everyone’s after it.”

Rey was too surprised by what he said to wonder what the Resistance fighter was doing telling her about the super secret important mission. The scavenger’s brows furrow at the name, something else she’d heard from the deep space pilots and smugglers, and even the elders. That name, the legend . “Luke Skywalker? I thought he was a myth.”

The stories she’d heard about that name were more fantastical than anything she’d heard about the fight. They were the kind you couldn’t believe, and perhaps you weren’t meant to. After all, magic and grand battles between good and evil and powerful knights were the types of stories told around the campfire to distract from rumbling bellies.

Rey opened her mouth to ask another question when BB-8 made an alarmed sound next to her.

Then all hell broke loose.

He knew they couldn’t do it.

Ren wasn’t sure what was more prominent: his anger over Hux’s men failing to get the droid or the satisfaction because he was right. It was a confusing mix considering he needed that map, but the look on the General’s face as he gave him the report on their second attempt to retrieve the damn thing from Jakku was enough to abate his rage. Only slightly.

It had helped that he’d gotten some of his anger out before when Mitaka briefed him and that they had something else to worry about. The girl mentioned was an unknown, but something told him that she was much more than some sand rat or rebel slime. It was a feeling that couldn’t quite be placed and it unnerved him because, at the same time, he knew what it was.

Standing before the Supreme Leader with Hux droning on beside him, he mulled over what it could mean for them and their mission. More importantly, he knew that every second spent wasted there was another that allowed the defected trooper and the girl to get away with the droid. If it fell into the Resistance’s hands it’d be lost to them, and, as the Supreme Leader reminded Hux, Skywalker would return.

His hands clenched at his sides at the thought. What it would mean for the First Order’s mission aside, there was something more personal to the Knight’s aversion. A mix of anger, betrayal, and fear. A flash of green attacked his mind in the moment of silence that followed Hux’s dismissal before Snoke’s haunting voice pulled him out of that hut.

“I’ve never had a student with such promise before you.”

It was spoken with such intimacy, a stark contrast to how he would address Hux, and how he just did moments ago, and in the beginning, a tone like it would give him a feeling of great satisfaction. The satisfaction of a student making his teacher proud, of doing well enough to earn his praise. It still did, though there was an underlying feeling of wrongness attached to it.

Kylo chose not to dwell on it as he straightened. “It is your teachings that make me strong, Supreme Leader.”

Snoke said nothing for a long moment, his expression reading almost indifferent. As if he already knew this. He did.

“There has been an awakening. Have you felt it?”

Ren looked up at his master, his mask an unreadable, haunting visage, but he knew the other could feel his unease even from where he was on the other end of the galaxy. Safely tucked away from the fight. “Yes.”

The expression that entered the hologram’s face set off a sickly feeling in him. Before he’d even opened his mouth, Ren knew Snoke was only confirming what he’d suspected when the officer earlier described the ship to him.

“There’s something more. The droid we seek is aboard the Millennium Falcon. In the hands of your father, Han Solo.”

Despite his suspicions, Ren reacts with genuine surprise. His mouth thinned at the implication of what this meant and he weighed his next words carefully.. “He means nothing to me. My allegiance is to you, and to you alone. I will let nothing and no one stand in our way.”

He means nothing to me. They mean nothing to me. A mantra repeated for both his sake and the elder’s frequently over the years. Snoke had suspected that that wasn’t completely the case, but Ren had always vehemently denied the conflict that arose whenever he said it. Hid the way he wrestled with it for hours after the fact. He hated how right his master was, how he was always right when it came to his failings.

Snoke seemed to give him the benefit of the doubt, or a warning. “Even you, Master of the Knights of Ren, have never faced such a test.” Perhaps both.

A test. That sickly feeling twisted something fierce in his gut. A sense of warning rising in the Force as the Supreme Leader contemplated for a moment, studying his apprentice. Kylo spoke up, unable to stand the silence and quick to prove his resolve.

“By the grace of your training, I will not be seduced.”

A gentle smile formed on his master’s misaligned face, and it both put him a bit at ease and sent a shiver crawling down his spine. 

“We shall see.”

Silence fell again as the Supreme Leader returned to studying the man before him, seemingly satisfied yet still firm. The silence didn’t last as long this time, the far-off leader was quick to provide him with direction.

“For years, you have struggled to reach your full potential. You are right there at the cusp of it, yet something is holding you back.” Deformed features twist even further into something so grotesque and inhuman with displeasure. The feeling was met with a flare of frustration and apprehension. “There is still Light within you, Ren…”

The silence that fell was uncomfortably thick. Ren could only stand there, rooted to the spot as he waited.

Waited for the inevitable.

Snoke sat back on his throne, leveling the young man with a look that plainly read that this was the mission that would mean his worth as an apprentice.

Or his worth as a corpse.

“To rid yourself of it, and prove yourself to be as great as your grandfather before you…”

Kylo found himself silently begging for it to be anything but what he knew was coming. Then he found himself with a sharp feeling of disgust at his immediate hesitance.

“You must kill him. Kill Han Solo, do not hesitate, show no mercy, and only then will your training be complete.”

———

Kylo hadn’t dared to breathe as he walked out of the throne room, the path from the center to the turbolift seemed to stretch on for miles. His heart pounded in his ears at a pace too fast to keep up with.

This order was a long time coming. That particular part of his past was the one he’d struggled with the most to let go of. Even after his encounter in the cave of Dagobah. If anything, it hadn’t helped but made it worse. Faced with the illusion of his parents begging him home, he realized it was both a temptation and a window into his true desire. The resulting destruction of the cave was a testament to his desire to fight the temptation and deny the truth.

Snoke was right. This was a test he’d never faced before. And he knew he had a choice to make.

At the same time, this was something he’d been preparing for, training for, since he gave himself over to the dark side and Snoke’s teachings. The ultimate act of the dark side. Nothing truly compared to it. It was his great test and would mark him as a worthy apprentice, worthy of the legacy of his grandfather. Something he’d wanted since he began this journey.

Ren squared his shoulders as determination set in. He’d fought too hard for too long and had come too far to let this weakness get the better of him. If all went well, it would be over soon enough, his goals would finally be achieved, and Skywalker and the Resistance would be no more.

He knew what he had to do.

Chapter Text

The stars sped past as the motley bunch that came together in the wake of the First Order’s second attempt to recover the map to Luke Skywalker hurtled away from the danger. Their course was set for someplace that, while hardly considered secure given who frequented it, would be a lot better for their various needs than anything else on that side of the galaxy.

It had been a close call, but he was used to those. They were his specialty and the fact that they were still in one piece, more or less, was enough to prove it. He hadn’t lost the touch, even if he’d had a bit of a curve ball thrown at him. Nothing the old smuggler couldn’t handle, but a hiccup he could’ve gone without.

In all his experienced years, he’d certainly never been lacking in excitement . Though, as he got older- something he never, ever believed would happen- that excitement became a bit tiresome. This time was no different, being hunted down by ravenous beasts and trigger-happy people he’d pissed off, and the following chase that nearly ended in tears and scattered idiot matter was a bit much for his old nerves. 

And it was only the beginning, the beginning of something much, much more, and something achingly familiar.

How many times had Han Solo and his old girl, the Millennium Falcon, seen this kind of thing before? A war ravaging the galaxy, a force rising up against the darkness that had the hardest odds stacked against them, and some kids getting caught up in way more than they could handle. It was all very familiar. Something from a lifetime ago. History repeating itself in the worst way. 

The galaxy probably didn’t realize to what extent that meant, but Han did, and it had kept him up many nights over the years.

He’d seen plenty of other kinds of familiarity over the last six years, mostly from the sidelines and in the shadows. Most things were what he came across while out on a job. Reports of the First Order’s destructive power branching across the galaxy and whispers of the Resistance’s movements to combat it in the wake of the Republic’s inaction. He’d heard more and more from the old days were returning to the fray, once again fighting to free the galaxy from a tyrannical evil.

There were plenty there that would ask him to come back and lead again, but she wouldn’t, or perhaps she would, but he wasn’t sure he could answer that call anyway. He didn’t have it in him anymore, not after…

Han shook his head in a feeble attempt to clear it and get back on track. The map and his ship brought with them back plenty of memories, the kind they didn’t have enough time for him to sift through and deal with before the next wave of shit hit the fan.

As he left the kids to get settled and Chewie to rest while they waited to arrive at their destination, they weren’t far out from Takodana and they certainly weren’t going to get any farther than that in the condition they were in. A deep sigh left him, things were getting hairier than he’d anticipated. The droid was the bigger issue there with what it was carrying. Han knew they could find the right hands to pass it off at Maz’s place. Hopefully, they could get it in and out with relative ease, and Han could get his ship back into the air before something else found them. Though, as the freighter rattled, Han wasn’t optimistic he could keep to a timely schedule.

Finding the Falcon in the condition that it was in wasn’t completely unexpected, though, but Han did have half a mind to turn back around to Jakku and find this Plutt and take him apart like he did to his ship. 

The unexpected part was what was found aboard her. Han had been expecting pirates, other smugglers, and punk-ass kids getting their egos shined up flying the Millennium Falcon. There were some punk-ass kids taking her out for a spin, alright, but not the kind he was used to in this business and not for the reason he thought. He wasn’t entirely sure what to make of them. The girl was good at working on the fly but a bit cagey, and the boy had something about him that made Han wary. He seemed like a good kid, but he was clearly hiding something. And he had a pretty good idea what. Han just hoped this wouldn’t come back to bite him in the ass.

Another sigh left him as he walked through the hall down towards the Captain’s quarters, the familiar and missed walls hardly a comfort at that moment. He needed a rundown of everything that was done to his ship and to get started on repairs, but he also wanted to see if anything of his personal items remained. Some he could live without, but others… They were priceless. More to that, he needed a moment to clear his head.

Besides, from what he could tell based on what he’s already seen, he’d need the Falcon docked and have access to more and better equipment for the repairs. So there was nothing much he could do until then.

He really hated this Plutt character.

The door to his quarters when he reached it was jammed, either from a wiring malfunction or a deformation somewhere in the door, or perhaps just years of not being used. With a grunt and a bit of his weight thrown against it, he got the thing to budge enough for him to squeeze in. Han coughed as what he assumed was a combination of dust and sand smacked him in the face while he reached around for the lights. The flicker that followed was pathetic and had Han swearing quietly under his breath, but it was enough to get the job done for the moment. A quick glance around found more than a few things out of place, but nothing worth much of anything had been stored so out in the open before to begin with. There were a few boxes lining the walls that were mostly all accounted for, and he’d bet some of them contained most of what had been out in the open when he last had his hands on his ship.

Han turned to those first.

A few boxes were able to get checked in the time between when he left the others and when he heard the beeping that signaled their approach. There was nothing of much significance, mostly old clothes of his, including the yellow jacket that had been worn by another bright-eyed, smart-mouthed desert brat once before. Han set aside the boxes he had gone through at the foot of the bed, and checked a few of his little hidey-holes for the rest of his stuff and was surprised but satisfied to find them relatively undisturbed. Those would have to be gone through another time.

Grabbing one last box to check before he’d head back to the front, Han frowned when he heard something solid with a bit of weight rattle around in it. Glancing back to the crack in the door, he could just hear the girl’s voice from where it carried down from the communal and the excitement in it. Hearing nothing else from Chewie or the Falcon, Han set the box on the bed to open it.

He hadn’t expected anything this sizable of value to make it after all these years, but some people weren’t all that bright and overlooked a few things. Han wasn’t sure to expect, it could be a number of things, but when he moved aside an old shirt of his that had been thrown on top of the pile in the box, his heart caught in his throat when he realized what it was. Old model starships, a few of many there had once been on this ship, slightly dulled in their color with age and misuse had been stored with little grace inside the box. A few chips and bends could be seen from what was visible at the top, but Han wasn’t concerned with the condition at that moment.

A weathered hand reached for an A-wing as his frame slumped, bringing the once green and yellow toy ship up for closer inspection. Most of the color had been scratched away. From what, Han didn’t know, but given that it was over twenty years old it could’ve been anything. A thumb dragged over one of the bent wings as he swallowed the lump in his throat and thought back to the map. The answer to a mystery the galaxy has fretted over for years… and the night he lost it all.

He’d wanted to keep this from happening, wanted to focus on the now and not the past, but the truth was: the past haunted him every waking moment. Thoughts of what happened, what was happening, knowing he’d failed at every turn and at the same time, there was nothing he could’ve done, and not knowing what had happened followed him wherever he ran to.

Six years. That’s how long he’d been without an answer, that’s how long it’d been since his son…

Han remembered a little boy, bright and happy, if a bit shy, running through the halls of that very ship. Often carrying one of his many model starships making flight noises as it “flew” through the ship or clutching his faithful companion, a stuffed Wookiee his mother had made for him when he was a baby, to his chest. He remembered a young man, growing more distant every day, carried away by something Han couldn’t see and barely understood, but still someone he was incredibly proud of. They hadn’t seen much of their boy near the end, after a terrible truth was revealed long before Han and Leia were prepared to discuss it with the kid privately and it drove Ben farther away from them than he’d already been drifting.

He hadn’t liked the idea of sending him away to begin with, no matter how much he trusted Luke with the kid’s life, but Han had no idea how to help him. Some days, most days, Han wished he’d fought harder to keep their son home. Perhaps then, they wouldn’t be where they are now. But he’d worried just as much as Leia did. He didn’t understand it, but he knew there was something going on with his boy, something he feared had to do with his grandfather. If anyone could’ve helped him, it’d have been Luke. He brought Vader back, after all.

But it didn’t work.

What happened was unclear. There was nothing left of the temple and Luke was gone before they could get any answers. If Leia had any theories, she hadn’t shared them with him. Though, he had a pretty good idea as to what they might’ve entailed. The Skywalker bloodline was powerful, but susceptible to great darkness as equally as it was to the light. Or so Luke put it one day when he was trying to put a parent’s worries at ease. Han hadn’t understood half of what he’d said, but he’d gone from there hoping his boy had a chance. He never did. His grandfather’s legacy was too strong, exacerbated by the influence of another, no doubt. 

Snoke had Ben in his clutches now. What he’d heard about the Supreme Leader sent chills down his spine at the thought of his boy being even in the same half of the galaxy as him. Snoke’s voice whispering in his ear and dragging him farther and farther away from them. Away from home, where he belonged. It sparked anger and unfathomable fear in Han to think about it. How lost was his son now? Would he suffer the same fate as his grandfather? Every time he heard the name Kylo Ren , he prayed to whatever all-powerful force was out there that it wouldn’t be followed by every parent’s nightmare.

This box was like a window into the past, of the little boy that was lost to him. Lost to them. With the unanswered question of whether they would ever get him back. It was all Han had left of him either way.

Clearing his throat, Han placed the ship back in the box with care just as an alert from the control panel carried down to reach him. Composing himself as he turned away from the boxes and the memory of his child, Han squeezed back through the doorway and made his way back toward the cockpit.

Giving his old friend a pointed look when he caught the Wookiee trying to get up, Han gestured for Chewie to lay back down as the kids popped up beside them. “No, you rest. I’ve got this.” Turning to Rey and Finn, Han then gestured for them to follow him to the cockpit. “You want my help? You’re getting it. Gonna see an old friend of mine, she’ll get your droid home. This is our stop. Everyone grab a seat and buckle in.”

Han took his seat, and like a thousand times before with hopefully a thousand times ahead of him, if his luck continued, he brought the ship out of hyperspace. The end of their journey was upon them, and hopefully, by this time tomorrow, they’d all be able to put this entire ordeal behind them.

Something told him it wouldn’t be that simple.

Han brought the ship into the atmosphere of Takodana practically on autopilot, and he’d been checking for a landing pad when something caught his attention. A catch of breath beside him, Rey had taken her spot as his co-pilot to help with the re-entry and had gotten distracted by the view almost immediately. Now that they were no longer in immediate danger, she’d been able to appreciate it more.

She’d only dreamed of leaving Jakku before, and wondered what was beyond it. What the stars would look like up close. If there were other planets like Jakku, or if they were filled with life. Not even her wildest dreams could’ve compared to this. And it only got better after they’d entered Takodana’s atmosphere.

Han noticed the tears as she stared out the windshield, the awe of someone who’d never known anything but sand, sand, and more sand. He’d seen that look before. He’d also seen the look he caught when they were still up in the stars, from another co-pilot of his, with the twinkle of the luminous balls of gas reflecting off of the dark eyes he got from his mother.

Rey had to swallow the lump that sprung up in her throat when she saw all the luscious trees that blanketed the ground beneath them. “I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy…” The most she’d seen came from strangers' clothes and a few pathetic plants some people kept. She’d loved the color when she first saw it, because of how rare and beautiful it was. She’d always wanted to travel to a place where there was more of it, when she imagined where she and her parents would go from Jakku once they finally found her. But this… this was almost overwhelming. In a good way, she mused. Yes. No matter how the day had gone so far or what would be waiting for her back on Jakku, this made it all worth it. 

This brief moment where she got to touch the stars and soar above a sea of green could sustain her for a lifetime.

It moved something in Han to see it, and to be reminded of all the little things he took for granted. He didn’t say anything, and neither did Finn as he stared out at the new world before them. A place to land was found soon enough, and though a bit shaky, Han got the Falcon down and the gangplank lowered first. He got the feeling the girl wanted to see it all up close, and he was proven right when she’d all but darted off the ship. Shaking his head minutely, he moved to where he stored some of his weapons in hopes that they were still there.

As soon as Rey’s feet touched the grass- there was grass !- she stopped in wonder as the fresh, clean air hit her. It wasn’t anything like Jakku’s air, which was dry and stifling and filled with sand. She could just make out the sound of the tide lapping against the shore from the body of water ahead of them, the shadow from the castle that stood between it and the forest cast over the glimmering blue surface. Closing her eyes, Rey took a deep breath and let the magic and serenity carry her away.

Back on the Falcon, Han could hear Chewie grumbling as he rummaged through the storage unit. He pulled out a few old blasters that looked like they’d still shoot and set them aside. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the other kid sidle up to him with an air of someone about to vibrate out of his skin.

Once the novelty wore off, the nerves hit him. Finn had no idea what to expect while there, but he knew that they were still too close to First Order territory to feel comfortable. Rey had already gone off, and the urge to follow her to make sure it was safe was strong. He’d followed after Captain Solo instead, the orange and white ball following a foot behind him.

“Hey, Solo- I’m not sure what we’re walking into here-” Finn started, and was cut off by the incredulous and slightly peeved expression the other man hit him with.

“D’you just call me Solo ?”

Finn grimaced but brushed past it. “Sorry, Han- Mr. Solo. You should know, I’m a big deal in the Resistance. Which puts a real target on my back. Are there any conspirators here? Any First Order sympathizers?”

A half truth. He did have a pretty big target on his back. Finn hoped Han would buy the bluff enough to get the other half looked over. Finn couldn’t recall hearing anything about the former war hero getting back into the game, but who would tell a lowly Stormtrooper like him anything that important? He was just a body, cannon fodder, someone to do their dirty work for them and not question anything. Finn didn’t know who he was, the First Order robbed him of the chance to find out, but he knew that he didn’t want to be a killer for them..

Han scoffed. His worries weren’t unfounded, Han wouldn’t be surprised if there were people from both sides there- Maz’s always catered to all- but he was focusing on the wrong thing. “Listen, Big Deal, you’ve got another problem to worry about, probably more pressing than that. Women always figure out the truth.” Han dropped a blaster into the kid’s hands with a look, and he watched him swallow the uncertainty down as the realization hit him. “Always.” He spoke from experience went unspoken between them. 

Han couldn’t count how many times Leia caught him on his bullshit and rode his ass for it before he stopped trying to get things past her.

Finn watched Han leave in stunned silence, his warning turning over in his head as he looked down at the droid, before the blaster in his hands. Han was probably right, he didn’t know women but he knew Rey wasn’t an idiot, and Finn… he didn’t know what to do about it. Rey was a good person, but he was afraid of what she’d say if she knew the truth. She wanted to go back to Jakku anyway, so they probably wouldn’t see each other after today, so there was no need to tell her… His shoulders slumped as the guilt ate away at him.

Han clapped Chewie on the shoulder as he passed him on his way back out. Squinting against the afternoon sunlight, Han found the girl easily enough staring at the castle. The smuggler wanted to get a move on while they could, but first. “You’ll need this.” Han passed her a blaster pistol as he came to a stop beside her.

Rey was startled at the unexpected company, she’d been so lost in the world around her, she hadn’t heard the Captain’s approach. Looking down at the pistol in her hands, she made a face before looking up at the older man with a bemused smile. “I think I can take care of myself.” She responded, gesturing to the quarterstaff hanging from her shoulder.

Han huffed with a small grin. “I know you do. That’s why I’m giving you this.” Han watched her inspect the weapon, before accepting it and pointing it at the trees ahead of them. He squinted after a moment when a thought occurred to him. “You do know how to use one of these things, right?”

Rey gave a nonchalant grunt as she squinted down the barrel of the blaster. “Yeah, you pull the trigger.” She’d seen them in use plenty of times. Though she preferred the use of her staff, she could admit that a blaster wouldn’t be a bad thing to have on hand in a new place like this.

Han wasn’t sure if he should be concerned or not about that response, so he settled with saving it for later as he lowered her arm. “There’s a little more to it than that. You got a lot to learn.” Hopefully, she wouldn’t need to use it while they were there. If she did, Han just hoped it was when he wasn’t around to get caught in the crossfire. “So, you got a name?”

Rey breathed a quiet laugh, but obligingly lowered her arm and tucked the blaster into the leather straps of her utility belt. It felt clunky and heavy and a bit awkward, she’d need to do some adjustments to get it to fit like it belonged, like everything else she carried. “Rey.”

Han nodded, before pausing. He’d been thinking about something since they cleared the Eravana and put the two gangs behind them, he just wasn’t sure if it was a good idea or not. He wasn’t known for thinking these things through anyway and found himself voicing it before he could start. “Rey. Well, I've been thinkin' about bringing on some more crew, Rey. A second mate. Someone to help out. Someone who can keep up with Chewie and me, who appreciates the Falcon.”

Rey couldn’t believe what she was hearing any more than Han could believe he was saying it. Excitement bubbled in her chest at the thought of her childhood hero wanting to work with her. “Are you offering me a job?” She asked, wanting to confirm if her ears were correct or if the rathtars actually blew out her eardrums.

Han saw a moment to back out of it, but something stopped him. It surprised him, but he kept rolling with it as he pointed a finger at her with a raised brow. “I wouldn’t be nice to you. It doesn’t pay much.”

That didn’t deter Rey. If anything, it made her even more excited. Her eyes sparkled with it as her smile grew. “You’re offering me a job.”

Her excitement was hard to hold his ground against, Han figured that he must be getting soft in his old age. “I’m thinking about it.” He responded. No certainties and no promises, though anyone that knew him would know the truth.

It was enough for Rey though, and she found the answer at the tip of her tongue and ready to fall. Working with Han Solo and Chewbacca was any young scavenger’s or smuggler’s dream. However, before she could give her ‘yes’ something stopped her. A faint voice in the back of her mind reminded her that she was already spoken for.

Han could see that she wanted to say yes, but then a look crossed her face like she remembered something and it dashed all her hopes. Brows furrowed curiously, he brought his hands to his hips and gave an expectant look. “Well?”

Rey frowned and sighed almost sadly at the response she chose instead. “If you were, I’d be flattered. But I have to get home.”

For a moment, Han hadn’t understood what she meant, but then it clicked and he was even more confused. “Jakku?”

Rey gave a small nod, before looking off. How long had she been gone? In that time, could her parents have come back for her, only to find her gone? The cynical part in her tried to tell her that after thirteen years, the short time she’d been gone wouldn’t be the moment her family finally returned. The part of her that remained stubbornly optimistic told it to shove it. “Yeah, Jakku. I’ve already been away too long.”

Han couldn’t figure out what anyone would want to return to a place like Jakku, but by the look on her face, it was likely something personal. It wasn’t his place to pry or try to change her mind, but he was surprised by the disappointment he felt at her response. After a moment, Han turned back to the ship. “Chewie, check out the ship as best as you can.” Looking back at Rey, he gave her a small shrug before setting off in the direction of the castle. “It’s a shame. Chewie kind of likes you.”

Rey watched him go, conflicted with her choice. Some part of her had wondered over the years if staying in one place was the right thing to do, or if it was time to start looking for herself. Now was the perfect opportunity, but something was holding her back.

Fear .

Shaking her head, Rey decided that she would make the most of the moment while she could. It would only be a matter of time before she was back home, she wanted to take in as much of what Takodana had to offer before it was back to the sand dunes and scratched wall of her AT-AT.

Back to waiting.

Back in the Unknown Regions, orbiting the icy wasteland that had once been something beautiful and sacred was now a tool of death and destruction, the Finalizer was preparing for the moment when history would be made.

He should have been at the helm overseeing it, with Hux on the ground operating at the source of it Ren was the only one left in command at that moment. This was to be a big day for the First Order, marking the beginning of the end of the Republic and the Resistance. Instead, he found himself sitting in the dark, in a place where he often came to when he felt conflicted and lost.

Ren hadn’t felt this way since the last night at the academy. He felt like his head was splitting and his very soul was being ravaged by sharp, hungry claws. Tugging at the remains was something he’d fought so hard against, and what he often came to him for help.

A ragged breath sawed through his chest, hands balled into fists in his lap as his head hung low. Be it from shame or uncertainty over what was going on, Ren couldn’t tell. The room was otherwise silent save for the creature in the center of it. Even in the privacy this room provided him with, Ren felt uneasy about letting this weakness show, even a fraction of it. He felt shame rise up before he even began his confession.

“...Forgive me, I feel it again. The pull to the Light.” It was like a persistent gnat, a pest he knew was there but couldn’t find as it darted around him, evading all his attempts to squash it. “The Supreme Leader senses it.” He always did. Snoke was always aware of his apprentice’s shortcomings. It was maddening. Kylo’s hands trembled, before he looked up to the altar in front of him. Silently begging him to give him guidance, some sort of sign. Anything but this silence that had arisen between them in recent weeks.

Perhaps he knew too. How weak he was, someone of his own bloodline no less, and was ashamed of him too. He had to know. He’d watched over him since he was an infant, there to help him and guide him onto the path to finding his true self. There to help him see what his family would try to hide from him. He would know. He would be furious. Was that why he couldn’t reach him?

Had Kylo been abandoned yet again?

He felt sick at the thought.

“Show me again, the power of the darkness, and I will let nothing stand in our way. Show me, Grandfather, and I will finish what you started.”

Kylo waited. Waited to see if the ghost of Darth Vader would come forth from the melted, ghastly remains of his helmet. A helmet that had inspired his very own. Used to instill fear in those who saw it, to make the wearer a stronger leader. His served the dual purpose of masking his identity from the world as well, very few knew the truth behind the origins of Kylo Ren. Kylo pulled on the blanket of darkness that surrounded him like a fog tighter around him in hopes that it would give him enough clarity to hear his grandfather’s voice, so that he may heed his words.

But nothing came through.

That is, nothing except a melodic whisper, beckoning him in the opposite direction and not at all what he needed in that moment.

The urge to scream was powerful.

Instead, his expression tightened as he stood, storming out of his storage room and back out into the madness outside. Ren wouldn’t sit around and wallow in his own insanity when he could be doing something to back up his promise. The air around him crackled so strongly, it wouldn’t be a surprise if even the non-Force sensitives around him could feel it. They certainly acted like it as they hastily made a hole for their Commander as he made his way to the bridge.

Ren got there in time to catch the call for assembly, both for the base below and the hangar bay of this ship. They were entering the final stages of preparation and beginning the sequences of execution. Officers and troopers alike gathering to witness the First Order take the next step towards winning this war.

The wait was over.

The show was about to begin.

Chapter Text

They stood at the edge of history. 

What was about to occur would be on a scale far exceeding anything that came before them. It would be remembered for generations to come. The ultimate act to prove, once and for all, that the First Order was not another Empire- they were something better. Something stronger than what the Empire had been. The Republic would soon learn that it is not the past that they should fear, but what is born from the ashes of it. In a matter of minutes, their weak hold on the galaxy would be gone from this world for good.

They had tried and failed to be what their predecessor had been in the height of its reign, before it fell to corruption and shattered under its own weight. The Republic was doomed a lifetime ago, and it left behind a curse. A curse that had been steadily dragging the galaxy down with it, even if many chose not to see it. 

As someone who grew up surrounded by the inner workings of the New Republic, especially during the early days, Ren had a unique perspective on it. He’d seen it first hand and up close and personal, their failings. Their greed and self-righteous idiocy. The arrogance and cold-hearted indifference they claimed was a unique Imperial trait was something he’d seen in more than a few New Republic Senators back in his youth. He wondered how many of them were left, spreading their infection across the galaxy.

The shadowed creatures stood at the helm of the Finalizer , looking out the viewport that faced the icy world below them. Dark eyes fixated on the gaping maw cut into the planet along its equator, knowing that in moments it would unleash an unimaginable level of destruction across an entire star system.

Ren held an indifferent, though secretly unsupportive, attitude towards the Starkiller Base project. He would concede to the point that it is an effective strategy to wipe out their enemies on a large scale and instill fear in the rest of the galaxy. Fear of what the First Order could do to those who stood against them. But it was a bit over the top, and a dangerous gamble. The Death Stars had the same purpose with the same idea backing their creation, and while they did live up to both, they also sparked something that led to their destruction, and the fall of the Empire. Defiance, rebellion, chaos. 

The question then became how many would fold, and how many would flock to the Resistance’s cause? The Supreme Leader believed they would all fold, and would be unable to withstand this great weapon, but Ren wasn’t as confident as his master. Hope was a pesky thing, and the First Order would have to act swiftly to extinguish it and the Resistance before they became more than an inconvenience.

What he thought did not matter. What mattered was the Supreme Leader’s will. Ren would follow Snoke’s will and see to it that it was executed to his standards, whatever it may be.

Still, that little voice whispered in his ear, making him question the reasoning behind his master’s demands.

Most times he would ignore it, but as they prepared to snuff out the lives of billions , that nagging thought of whether this was the right thing or not was louder, more persistent, and harder to ignore. There was a lot he had done and was willing to do, but even he knew this would be crossing a line. A tremor went out into the Force, a deep, ominous rumble of something terrible to come.

It emanated from the planet below, too. As if the very thing knew what it was about to be forced to do. Kylo hated being stationed on Starkiller Base for two reasons: the cold, and the heavy, painful feeling of anguish and wrongness that seeped from every crack in the ice. It was consuming, overwhelming, reverberating through every molecule in his being. The kyber which powered the great weapon cried out as they were harvested, drained, infested with a darkness so foreign to them. It was so strong, Ren wouldn’t be surprised if the less sensitive individuals manning the base could feel it. Most wrote the shivers down their spine off as the cold, ignorant to the truth of the planet they stood on.

Some small part of him anguished with the crystals. The rich history of the planet was washed a little more away every day, desecrated and destroyed, like many places before it. Erasing the Jedi from the galaxy that much more, and deepening the wound in the Force that had barely begun to scar over. The boy he was before would be horrified by what he saw, and what he felt.

As if the man he was now wasn’t already.

Through the speakers came the General’s voice as he addressed the men gathered on the planet below, the air was still and quiet as every soul listened to their commanding officer. Ren could only imagine the satisfaction and smug certainty oozing from the redhead’s slender frame at the knowledge that his little pet project was finally completed and about to brand his name into the cosmos. With each word the momentum grew, the hairs on the back of his neck and on his arms standing upright as the cold spiked in his core. 

Ren would give the General this, he knew how to give a rousing speech, but it didn’t distract him from what was occurring in the Force.

The roaring crescendo was met with the order to fire. The final sequences were carried out, followed by a moment of silence. The tension was so thick it could be cut with a stick. Many wondered if it would work, if decades of hard work had been for naught or if it was the single greatest achievement of engineering history.

Then, a thundering boom rattled everything, even the Finalizer up in orbit above the weapon of mass destruction born from a planet of peace.

A giant column of fire spewed out of the planet’s core, painting everything around it red. Ren watched the collection of quintessence soar through the inky black of space, barreling through sub-hyperspace with one destination in mind.

The heart of the Republic.

------

She could still smell the rain clinging to her hair and taste the sand on her tongue, tearing the back of her throat to ribbons as she screamed .

Rey didn’t know where she was going, all she knew was that she had to get out of that castle. Away from that damn lightsaber with Maz’s words ringing in her head.

Dear child. I see your eyes. You already know the truth. Whomever you're waiting for on Jakku, they're never coming back.

They’re never coming back.

They’re never coming back.

Rey felt a fresh well of tears rise up as she took off towards the forest to put as much distance between her and the nightmare she saw. The terrain was different from what she was used to navigating, but years of adapting and conquering downed Star Destroyers and the dune sea of the Badlands made for quick feet nonetheless. 

Trees sped past her, the occasional branch snagging at her clothes as if to beg her to slow down and stop, her breath coming in pants as something ominous rose up from the ground beneath her. Vibrating in her skull and pressing in. Even in her panic, she could sense it.

Something was coming.

------

He watched that hand of death stretch out far beyond the Ilum system until it was just a speck in the viewport. It cut across the stars deep into the known galaxy, heading straight for the capital of the Republic in the Core Worlds. The crystals screamed in outrage and agony as something dark twisted their hand to do something so unnatural to them.

Ren waited with bated breath, as did everyone around him, for the moment of impact. It came moments later.

In one moment, there was calm, then in the next, trepidation turned to fear, and fear turned into billions of voices crying out before they were suddenly silenced. The loss of life on a scale far exceeding anything that had occurred in galactic history. Ren felt the pain and fear and death so acutely it was like he was there.

Many lives had fallen at his hands, and he’d never felt something as strongly as he does in that moment. Something he knew he shouldn’t be feeling.

Horror.

They had done it.

Victory was not as sweet as he thought. Kylo knew he should cast out these thoughts and feelings, but he was finding it difficult now.

A cry of victory went up around him as the contact confirmation went through for everyone else. He could feel the swell of celebration from down below as well as the crystals gave one final, weak cry. Kylo ignored their celebrations and those cries as he remained fixated on the point where the blast disappeared, with it the entire Republic capital.

Captain Phasma came up to his side a moment later, standing at the ready. “We just received word from one of our spies: FN-2187, the Millennium Falcon, and the droid were spotted on Takodana.”

It was enough to shake him out of his unsettled thoughts. Takodana, he knew the place. He'd been there before, in another life, and knew the company it kept. Turning to the chrome warrior, Ren nodded. “Prepare the men and alert General Hux of our departure, we leave for Takodana immediately.”

------

Back on Takodana, a great gathering had occurred outside the castle. Every soul on that planet watched in terror as streaks of red flew across the blue sky, ending in great explosions at several points. What had just happened?

Han and Chewie stood amongst the rest, a grim expression on the smuggler’s face. Something didn’t feel right, and Han was almost afraid to find out if that feeling was correct. As the hushed whispers rose into frightful nonsense, Han heard a rush of footsteps off to the side before a familiar, horrified voice spoke above the crowd. “It was the Republic.”

Han turned as Finn came to a skid beside them after running back from where he’d been about to leave the planet, brows jumping to his hairline at the implication. The Republic? Han looked back at the sky as memories of two great superweapons came to mind, but the Death Stars hadn’t been nearly as powerful as that. Where did that kind of weapon come from? Dread settled heavily in his gut.

“The First Order, they’ve done it.”

Han’s mind turned a thousand parsecs per minute as the statement brought with it many questions. What had they done? Was he involved? What was coming next?
“Where’s Rey?”

------

Her chest burned as she continued to run, but she wouldn’t, couldn’t, stop. The tears that did fall left cold trails down her cheeks as the air hit and dried the evidence. Eventually, she did have to stop. Overwhelmed physically and emotionally, Rey bit back a sob as she bent over to catch her breath once she stopped. Her stomach felt funny, and her anxiety amplified in a way that seemed more than just from what happened, but she couldn’t figure out why. Part of her knew she didn’t want to know.

Rey looked around at the unfamiliar forest around her, not a soul to be found, and wondered where she would go from there. Where could she go? Back to Jakku? As much as she desperately wanted to, she felt sick at the thought of that planet. The memory of her parents leaving fresh in her mind. She felt like that little girl again, begging for the fleeing ship to come back.

A rustling sound caught her attention first, then a familiar beep. Rey sat up and turned to find BB-8 rolling up the path she’d just come down. The little thing had followed her from the castle and finally caught up to her.

“What are you doing?” Rey asked, kneeling once the droid reached her to be on his level. Her brows furrowed together in confusion and concern as she tried to put the vision to the back of her mind. “You have to go back.”

BB-8 beeped loudly in protest, shaking his head and rolling closer to her. He was concerned about her and why she ran, not wanting her to be alone or get lost in the strange new world. Rey felt touched by his concern, but she didn’t want him worrying about her when he had something much bigger than a scavenger from Jakku to worry about. “BB-8, no. You can’t- you have to go back. You’re too important. They’ll help you get back to the Resistance.”

The little droid worked up quite the protest, but before his spiel could be fully formed and executed with all the might in his rotund body, another thundering sound came from the sky above. The girl and the droid both look up in time to see an entire fleet of First Order ships, and they were heading straight for the castle.

Rey’s heart sank and ice settled in her veins as she charted their path. Han and Chewie and Finn, her friends, were in danger.

Looking back down at the droid, a new sense of urgency filled Rey. “Come on.”

------

The journey from the Finalizer to Takodana in his command shuttle was silent. The crew was always small given the size of the ship, but it felt crowded. Kylo wished he could be the one at the stick. The one thing he hated most about this was the assigned pilot. Most of the time he couldn’t fly his own ship, unless it was his TIE. The distraction would’ve been nice.

He knew what they would find there, who would be on that planet. Would this be the moment where he'd face his greatest test? It was likely. Kylo’s main objective was to find the droid and bring it back to the ship, but he knew it would be expected of him to carry out his other directive should he have the opportunity.

The pilot gave the approaching signal and every trooper around him, already so tense in his presence, stood at attention. Kylo said nothing as he made his way to the back so he would be off first. He knew the fighters were already engaged and the ground assault team had landed, the extraction party would be complete when they arrived. The screams of TIE fighters and sounds of destruction could be heard over the roar of the shuttle’s engines and the tremble of the crew’s hands as their commander passed.

The fact that this would be the closest he’d been to someone tied into his past so intimately for the first time in years was not lost on him. Tekka didn’t count, the old man had been closer to Skywalker. Ren wondered if the Wookiee still traveled with Solo, he could be a problem. If Solo didn’t turn tail and run the second he sniffed out danger and took his first mate with him first.   

He was always good at running.   

The shuttle rattled as it touched the ground and the compartment hissed before the gangplank lowered. Ren was the first down its slope into the fray with the troopers following suit. They parted around him as they were quick to join their brethren in handling the resisting force they were met with. The remains of a castle lay not far from where they’d landed. Ren walked up what was once a grand staircase as fighters screamed overhead and blaster fire went off below.

This place was once a hive for scum of all kinds, it had stood for a thousand years and was brought down in a matter of minutes. It had existed for a thousand years collecting history and reputation, and in a matter of a few years, maybe even a few months, it’ll be reduced to nothing but forgotten debris. It was ironic, how something so grand could be so easily left behind. Such was the way of things.

But then again, some things had a knack for sticking around far longer than their expiration date.

Ren reached the mouth of the stairway that overlooked the center of the fighting, Stormtroopers and criminal types battling it out. He’d been surveying the scene when he felt an approach behind him.

“Sir, the droid was spotted heading west, with a girl.”

Ren looked in the mentioned direction sharply, eyes narrowed dangerously when he sensed something deep within those trees.

“Keep your focus on the fight here, anyone who stands in our way must be dealt with a swift end. If there are any prisoners leave them to me for inspection. I’ll deal with the girl and the droid myself.”

With that, he set out on the hunt. Ren would not leave this place without that map.

------

The sight of the battle unfolding in the ruins of what moments ago had been a magnificent castle terrified her. The level of chaos was unlike anything she’d ever seen, even in the unruly dwellings of Jakku where pretty much anything and everything went. When a Stormtrooper spotted them, the pair immediately turned tail and ran.  After a brief struggle with the blaster given to her, Rey was able to hold them off while she and BB-8 ran back into the cover of the trees.

They’d gotten a fair distance away before Rey stopped again, terrified for the little droid and her friends. “You have to keep going, stay out of sight. I’ll try to fight them off.”

Rey wasn’t sure how she was going to do that, she wished she’d kept her staff on her but she’d left it in the Falcon. As handy as a blaster may be, Han was right. She had a lot to learn about using one. But she had to make sure BB-8 stayed safe, he was too important to fall into First Order hands, and she got the feeling that they were just as kind to droids as many on Jakku were.

BB-8 beeped, and his bravery helped ease some of her fear. She nodded and gave him a small smile. “I hope so too.”

She hoped they did see each other again after this, and the others as well.

BB-8 took off quickly after that, no stranger to danger and a resourceful little thing, he would find cover to hide in until it was safe. Rey took off in the other direction in hopes of drawing the attention away from wherever BB-8 might go off to give him more time.

The sounds of the fighting varied as she weaved in and out of the trees, gradually fading as she got farther away, but always there in the background. At one point something changed to suggest the fighting had increased, though whether that was because help or more reinforcements for the First Order had arrived, Rey didn’t know. She didn’t stop to check, just kept moving with her blaster aimed ahead.

Her heart pounded in her ears as she strained to hear above it for any little change in the environment, any little sign that she’d gained more pursuiters. She heard nothing but the screaming ships, deafening explosions, birds in the trees, and wind through the branches.

Eventually, it grew to be more silent, and the silence only seemed to bear down on her. Alighting her nerves even more so than they already were. Rey breathed through her mouth to hopefully dampen the sound, eyes darting from left to right as she slowed and moved with more caution. The hairs on the back of her neck and her arms stood on end as a feeling of danger swept over her.

Ren was like an Akul stalking its prey, making little noise for a man of his stature, much like the creature from Shili. The girl was obviously inexperienced with trackers, but light and smart enough on her feet to make up for it slightly. It was the electrifying feeling of her fear that drew him closer and closer to her location, however. Ren followed it above the highlighted images of her boot prints on the ground the display within his mask provided him with.

When he did catch up to her, he did not immediately strike. He had noticed the lack of markings in the ground to suggest a droid following alongside her, the BB unit would leave more of a trail than her, but he couldn’t rule out the possibility of her carrying it. No, he stalked the area around her, eyes scanning for the orange and white unit or any tracks when he found her arms empty. Scowling when he found nothing, he decided to advance forward.

Rey felt like she was being watched. What she once viewed with wonder she now cursed, the trees of Takodana providing too much cover for her to see properly. Jakku was wide open, save for the carcasses of ships in the Graveyard. Here on Takodana, there were too many places to hide.

Rey’s breath caught in her throat when she heard a twig branch, turning sharply with her blaster raised at the ready. Even when she found nothing she waited. Then, something that had her blood running cold sounded behind her.

The rasping roar of a lightsaber snapped to life, a sound frighteningly familiar to her. For a moment, the trees morphed into a dark, rainy world with several terrifying masked figures, the one in the front holding a strange weapon making the exact same noise. Rey brought herself back to the present and turned around in time to witness the creature from that vision stalk out from behind a rock formation.

Rey’s heart skipped a beat, and she stumbled as she backed up. Fear gripped her for a moment, before she remembered that she, too, had a weapon.

His weapon made its usual and familiar angry noise as he ignited it, the crossguard a formidable sight to many. Ren felt the air thicken with her fear in an instant, the corner of his mouth twitching with a smirk. He watched with mild amusement as she raised her blaster, fingers tightening around the blackened hilt when he sensed her intention to fire.

Rey couldn’t believe it when as she fired, none of her shots met their mark. It wasn’t on account of her inexperienced sharpshooting skills, but the ease in which the masked creature deflected her shots with the strange weapon in his hand. Despite each failed attempt she kept firing, backing two steps away with every step the creature took toward her.

Her feeble attempt at standing her ground and persistence despite her fear and disadvantage would be commendable to many, but not to him. Already he grew tired of this game. Ren wasn’t one to play with his food like Hux or some of his Knights, or Snoke, he just wanted the map. One shot from her sent sparks into his visor when he deflected it, pulling a growl from the shadowed man, and that did it for him. His lightsaber screamed as it twirled in front of him to deflect the following series of shots before his arm shot out and stopped the attack at the source. Her very life was at his fingertips now.

It was like her body was given a mind of its own and she panicked when suddenly she couldn’t move. The arm holding the blaster Han gave her was forced down behind her and her entire being was frozen in place. She couldn’t even move her mouth to scream as the dark figure loomed forward. Rey started to hyperventilate with each passing second spent frozen and each step closer the creature from the castle got.

With his prey subdued, Ren was able to approach at a more leisurely pace, dark eyes scanning the rather pathetic-looking creature in front of him. Every bit of the Jakku scraprat he thought.

“The girl I’ve heard so much about.” Ren started, almost bored as he walked around her. Rey’s fear intensified when he admitted to knowing about her. She didn’t know what all he could know, but just being on the First Order’s radar was bad enough as is.

His lightsaber crackled as he walked, circling the girl that helped Hux’s trooper escape with Dameron’s droid. “The droid. Where is it?” He would give her a chance to come clean. As he spoke he brought his saber up just inches from her face, a reminder that failure to turn over the information he sought or to give him information that was untruthful would not be appreciated.

Rey’s eyes widened when the dancing beam of energy came into her line of sight, close enough to where she could tell that whatever it was, it would hurt. She could feel the heat emanating off of it and she shuddered to think what would happen if it came into contact with skin. If she could move enough to shudder, anyway.

After a moment of silence, Ren switched off his lightsaber and came around to her front. His patience wouldn’t hold long enough to wait for her to find her tongue and decide her fate. His hand outstretched again, Ren reached into the depths of her mind with ease. Searching for his prize.

Rey stared at the gloved hand so close to her face in fear, before something else had her shivering against the invisible hold. A pressure along her temples, like a headache after a long day, especially if she hadn’t eaten for a while. It persisted and then retreated, same as the creature's hand.

Ren was surprised by what he found, but also by what he experienced. A bit of resistance when he tried to delve deeper. It was brushed off as nothing, some were not as susceptible to his powers as others, what he needed was on her surface thoughts anyway and didn’t require anything further.

“The map. You’ve seen it.” Why would the droid show her, a scavenger, something so important?

Rey’s eyes widened in horror, how he knew that she wasn’t sure, but she couldn’t protest as he still had a hold on her. She flinched minutely when his hand returned and so did that pressure. It was worse this time, and tears of pain sprung forward in her eyes. She strained against it in agony for what felt like an eternity. That earlier resistance was proving itself to be a bit more of a challenge, but it was nothing he could not handle. However, he needed more time than he could afford on that planet, as he was reminded when explosions sounded and a Stormtrooper approached them.

“Sir! Resistance fighters! We need more troops!”

Ren looked back at the girl for a long moment, before making a decision.

“Pull the division out. Forget the droid, we have what we need.”

With that and a quick movement of his hand, the girl was out. Rey didn’t know what hit her before it all went dark. In one swift action, Ren caught the girl in his arms and carried her to the edge of the forest where his command shuttle was waiting.

He knew he was taking a gamble abandoning their original objective of retrieving the droid for this girl, but Takodana was large and the droid was small. The map was now stored in two places, the memory banks of the droid and the mind of this girl. Ren knew he could get it from her just as easily as their techs could the droid.

There was another reason for his decision, however, one he contemplated over as he glanced down at the unconscious girl in his arms. It took up much of his thoughts that were not already dominated by the anticipation of getting the map and apprehension of feeling a familiar presence close and watching him as he boarded his ship.

Something about this girl felt familiar, he couldn’t figure out why, but he needed to know what it meant.

------

For a moment there, Han was sure they were all done for. Then when the Resistance showed up, it felt like they might have a chance. Han’s main concern was surviving to the next moment, but when the fighting ended suddenly with a First Order retreat, he became wary.

The likes of the Empire and First Order don’t retreat when they’re winning, and even with the Resistance’s help their odds weren’t that great against the enemy’s forces. Han watched them go in trepidation before a commotion caught his attention.

Finn’s screaming drew him to the edge of the clearing where the Stormtroopers were retreating, piling into transport ships and leaving the ruined sight. For a moment, Han thought they must’ve gotten the droid and his concern turned to Luke and Rey. But then he saw something that nearly swept the ground out from under him.

Rey was being carried by a masked figure cloaked in darkness. Every definable trait of the man was hidden, but Han knew who it was.

This was the closest he’d been to him in years, and yet it still felt so far away. Knowing where they stood, not as father and son but two people who had loved each other and were now estranged, on opposite sides of the war, it hurt more than he ever expected. He watched as his boy disappeared from view again with the girl that reminded Han so much of who he used to be.

Han stood there and watched the ship disappear, and stood there even after the First Order ships jumped into hyperspace. He felt Chewie come up behind him, the old Wookiee no doubt knowing who he saw and what was going on in his friend’s mind.

Finn ran up to the pair in a frenzy a few moments later. “He took her! Did you see that? He took her. She’s gone!”

Han sighed heavily as he turned, looking up at Chewie with a somber expression. “I know.”

He worried for Rey, he had no idea what became of his boy and what the man he was now was capable of, but he also, like the last six years, worried for Ben. Wondered what Snoke was having him do, what he would have him do, and how it would affect whatever was left of the spirit of the boy he'd known.

And speaking of estranged loved ones, Han knew there was something inevitable coming up on the horizon. As he turned and headed back to the castle ruins with Chewie and Finn trailing along behind him, he mused over it with apprehension and acceptance.

It was time to see Leia.

Chapter Text

Han had been in a lot of harrowing situations before, but there were only two things that ever made his palms sweat as much as they did right now: fatherhood and husbandhood.

He hadn’t been the best at both. He’d never had a good roadmap to follow for either to help him. He couldn’t remember his mother, much less what her relationship was like with his father, and his father in the little time they had together had hardly been a good one. Sure, Han had had flings and short-lived relationships in the past, only two real serious ones and they both ended pretty much the same. Him alone again, wishing he’d done more to prevent ruining a good thing. Then there was fatherhood, Han had spent most of his son’s life wondering if he was doing the wrong thing. Perhaps he had, given where they were right now. And Leia…

Han wondered what she’d say when she saw him. They’d had it rocky on occasion, especially during those last few years near the end, but they always managed to work it out. Until they couldn't. As their son grew distant from them, so did they with each other. And when Ben was gone… Han couldn’t stay, losing the best thing he’d ever done and believing it was his fault had broken him.

Would she blame him? Or would she understand?

He knew the answer already, Leia would never blame him. He knew he did. The smuggler knew that if it was in her character, she might’ve done the same. But that wasn’t her. It was him. They both suffered when their son was lost, they just dealt with it differently. Separately. Han felt bad about it, he felt terrible about leaving her to deal with it alone. After everything they’ve both been through, this was too much for him, but he should’ve stayed. That regret was half the reason he stayed away all those years.

He knew she wouldn’t blame him, that she’d understand why he left, but that didn’t stop the nerves and the fear from building up as they waited.

There wasn’t much left to clean up when the fighting ended and the First Order pulled out. Most of the patrons that survived turned tail and ran for their ships to leave the system before the Resistance fighters could make a landing. Only a few, who he’d come to learn were Resistance sympathizers, one of whom who’d alerted the Resistance of their missing droid’s whereabouts, stayed to help where they could. Han had to send Finn off to help Maz to keep the kid from either vibrating out of his skin with his anxieties or collapsing in on himself from the guilt.

It wasn’t long before more arrived. At the edge of the clearing, Han spotted a Resistance transport ship coming in for a landing. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he made his way towards it. He had a pretty good idea as to who was in it.

He came to a stop not far from it as it made its final landing, shifting nervously as his hands came up to his hips. BB-8, who had rejoined them at the ruins of the castle shortly after the First Order left, rolled up beside the smuggler in waiting as well.

An eternity seemed to pass before the doors hissed to signal their descent. Han saw her almost immediately, he’d find her in a crowd with ease in any situation, on any planet. No matter how many years had passed, he’d always know her.

She looked just as beautiful as he remembered. A little older, but they both were. Worn down by the years, the loss, the stress and the war. He knew the moment she saw him too, the surprise in her eyes as the world fell into a stunned silence. Smoke dancing between them and the activity around them falling into the backdrop.

Like many times in the past, the moment was broken not by them, but by a gold chatterbox.

“Goodness! Han Solo! It is I, See-Threepio!”

Pulled from his revere, Han wasn’t sure if he should laugh or sigh as the protocol droid spotted him and stepped between husband and wife. Some things never changed, he just wasn’t sure if this was something he missed or not.

The droid seemed to pause for a moment, before sheepishly adding. “You probably don’t recognize me, because of my arm.”

To be honest, Han hadn’t noticed the droid’s new red arm. Rolling his eyes as the droid turned to Leia in excitement. Leia, who wasn’t sure if it was fondness or exasperation she felt for the old droid in that moment.

“Look who it is! Did you see who?” Then, Threepio seemed to realize he was interrupting something. He was a fumbling droid sometimes, but he usually caught on quickly enough. “Oh, excuse me, Princ– uh, General. Sorry. Come along now, BB-8. Quickly.” Threepio walked off to leave the pair alone, the ball following after him with a series of beeps, to which he replied, “Yes, I must get my proper arm reinstalled.”

Han huffed, a bit of a fond grin finding its way onto his weathered face before it fell back into that somber expression before. Another moment of silence passed, before he spoke with all the softness he always had for her.

“You changed your hair.”

The corner of her mouth twitched with that smile she always had reserved for him as she looked away from his face. “Same jacket.”

“No, new jacket.” Han shook his head with a small smile of his own. It was the same jacket, just a bit of a patch job done, but she didn’t need to know that. Not when she already knew he was just teasing her.

Chewie joined them briefly, happy to see Leia again and welcoming her with a hug and a soft word, before returning to the ship with a quick look to Han. Han sighed, and with a look that she would surely recognize, one that conveyed his sadness and pain and confusion over the subject, he spoke with a quiet voice.

“I saw him, Leia. I saw our son. He was here.”

Ben was right there, not far from where they stood now. Had he known? Had he realized how close he was to family? To home?

Did he know how desperately they wanted him back?

Leia looked surprised, but not. It was a First Order attack with the intent on retrieving one of the most important things in the galaxy. The map to Luke Skywalker could make or break this war for either side. Of course he would be there. Then, she shared a sad look with her husband as they let the silence take them for a long moment.

It was Han who broke it. “He took this girl, Rey. Found her with my ship. Don’t know what he wants with her, he left the droid behind. He doesn’t… He doesn’t look like our boy.” Han admitted quietly. It had gutted him, seeing what's become of his son. He’d heard the stories, the rumors, but he’d never seen what Kylo Ren looked like until now.

He’d never been sure he could stomach seeing what the darkness did to his boy.

Leia’s expression saddened, and the season General sighed. “A lot’s changed, he’s lost.” Lost, like Vader had been. Han still didn’t know half of what he should know about the Force, but he’d seen what being lost did to Luke and Leia’s father. “Come back with us, Han. We have a lot to discuss… and we could really use your help.”

I could use your help . She would never say the words out loud, but Han knew they were there. They were always there, even when they were dancing around each other, refusing to admit to the very real feelings they both had for each other. It was Han’s turn to be surprised, but not. He knew that she knew that he was done with the fight. But the fight wasn’t done with him.

Maybe it was time he stopped ignoring its call, one last time.

Han looked around them, at the Resistance fighters and x-wings. A different time, the same fight, the same terrible odds. They would probably be killed, but looking back at Leia, he was reminded of why it’d be worth it.

“Alright.”

------

They made for D’Qar almost immediately, and once again the Falcon found herself amongst x-wings and rebel fighters and a sea of people running around in orange jumpsuits. It seemed fitting, the Alliance was the first place Han ever felt like he had any sense of belonging, outside of his beloved ship.

Han had followed Leia into the base, where they’d hopefully learn where their wayward Jedi had gone so they could bring him home. Others were already preparing for something bigger to come. The entire base seemed on edge. Who could blame them, considering what had happened earlier that day? They were facing a weapon with a kind of strength that was unheard of, it was a more frightening concept than the Death Star, and they had no idea how to combat it.

Yet, Han told himself. They had no idea how to combat it yet. Anything could be beaten, they just had to find a way, and they always found a way.

He watched as Threepio took the map from the BB unit and plug it into something, Han didn’t get a chance to warn Leia that it wasn’t complete before the holotable lit up with the piece given to the ball.

“General, I regret to inform you, but this map recovered from BB-8 is only partially complete. And even worse, it matches no charted system on record. We simply do not have enough information to locate Master Luke.”

Even Han, who knew it was only part of the puzzle, slumped at that. He’d been hoping that the piece they did have fit something they already had on hand. He knew there was still plenty of uncharted space out there, was it too much to hope that the kid (and he’d always be that kid from Tatooine to him) was considerate enough to avoid the unknown, no matter how much he’d been drawn to it?

Leia looked more put out than he did over this information. Han found himself moving closer to her, like he always did when he saw that her politicking was bordering on too much. “I can’t believe I was so foolish enough to think I could just find Luke like that and bring him home.”

Han softened and reached a hand out for her. “Leia…”

Leia’s responding growl as she moved out of his reach and stormed off stopped him cold. “Don’t do that.”

Bewildered, Han’s arm hung suspended in front of him for a moment, before falling as he followed after her with an incredulous huff. “Do what?”

“Anything.” Her voice was flat. “Be nice to me.”

Even more bewildered, Han caught up to her with ease. She didn’t stop or look at him, but that didn’t stop him from trying to get her to. “Hey, I’m trying to be helpful here.”

She kept her gaze forward, and there was a bit of strain in her voice. “When did that ever help? And don’t say the Death Star.”

Han found himself growing frustrated, and it was a lot like how they were before. He didn’t want this to be like that, and he certainly didn’t want this to dissolve into a fight. Picking his pace up enough so he could come around into her path, forcing her to stop lest she run right into his chest. The look she gave him melted away when his voice took a soft turn. “Would you just stop and listen to me? Please?”

The fight left her, and all that was left was a cloud of exhaustion that weighed her shoulders down. That was something that was familiar to him as well, there were a lot of things that got his Princess that way.

When she gave him a nod to go on, Han sighed and dropped his arms to his sides. “I didn’t plan on coming here. I know every time you look at me… I know you see him. So I stayed away.”

Leia gave him a look that clearly stated she couldn’t believe what she was hearing one second, and the next it said I could smack you in front of all these people right about now . It was a look that he was well acquainted with, and part of him was happy to have his Princess back in that moment.

“That’s what you think? That I don’t want to be reminded of him, that I want to forget him? I’m reminded of him everywhere I go, everywhere I look. Even when I’m alone, I think of him, because his absence is impossible to ignore. I don’t want to forget him, Han. I want him back .”

What could he say in response to that? Han had spent the last six years in much of the same state. Everywhere he’d turned, he’d expected to see their son there. It was hard to accept the truth. “He’s gone, Leia. There’s nothing we could’ve done. He was always drawn to the dark side. No matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t have stopped it.” It was always hard to think about, harder to put into words, and harder to admit this final part. “There was too much Vader in him.”

“That’s why I wanted Luke to train him. I just never should have sent him away. That’s when I lost him.” She paused, giving a sad smile. “When I lost both of you.”

Han was silent for a moment. He never had agreed with sending Ben away, and it had almost seemed like that was the moment it was all lost. There wasn’t much more Han could do for his son, he had believed, there was nothing he could do to help him. To protect him. It's where he started to feel like he'd failed as a father. That was when he found himself drifting, falling back onto old habits.

“We both had to deal with it in our own way.” Han shrugged, though it lacked the cocksure attitude he’d muster in the past and was every bit of a defeated acceptance. “I went back to the only thing I was ever good at.”

“We both did,” Leia admitted. Every bit the understanding he expected. Han wanted to tell her she’d been a great mom, but he knew she wanted to hear that just as much as he wanted to hear about his performance as a father in that moment.

He hadn’t been a good father, and it was the greatest mistake of his life. If he’d been better, if he’d done things differently, maybe they wouldn’t be in this mess. Han met her eyes steadily with a heavy sigh. “We’ve lost our son, forever.”

Leia though, Leia refused to concede. She had that look in her eye that he always saw when she was trying to tackle a problem. She always refused to accept only one path, only one alternative, and held the bigger picture in her hands as she examined it for any possible alternative. “No. It was Snoke.”

She said it with such certainty that it took Han aback. “Snoke?”

Leia nodded, and Han felt his heart sink. “He knew our child would be strong with the Force. That he was born with equal potential for good or evil.”

Han almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You knew this from the beginning? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Leia sighed. “Many reasons. I was hoping I was wrong, that it wasn’t true. I hoped I could sway him, turn him away from the dark, without having to involve you.” A small smile appeared. “You had- you have- wonderful qualities, Han, but patience and understanding were never among them. I was afraid that your reactions would only drive him farther away into the dark. I thought I could shield him from Snoke’s influence and you from what was happening. It’s clear now that I was wrong. Whether your involvement would have made a difference, we’ll never know.”

Han would give her that when it came to the Force, he didn’t have the best track record. He tried. He’d tried so hard to understand it when he got married, when Ben was born and it was clear that he had every bit of the Skywalker strength. For a while he thought he was getting somewhere, then one day he found Ben in his crib, floating all his toys in the air around him, his soft, raven hair dancing around his little head like he had his own private wind gust. All of his understanding he thought he had gone out the window then. Han thought it was his grandfather’s legacy, something he inherited from the man that became the machine.

“So Snoke was watching our son.” It made him sick to think about it. It also made him wonder. Could he have protected Ben from him? Could anything he have done, anything they’d have done, made enough of a difference to do a damn thing to stop this?

“Always,” She told him, knowing what her husband was thinking and feeling at that moment. “From the shadows, in the beginning, even before I realized what was happening, he was manipulating everything, pulling our son toward the dark side.

“But nothing’s impossible, Han. Not even now, at this late time. We can still save him. Me. You.”

Han’s head was spinning still with this revelation, and he instantly felt the doubt rise up as she said it. “If Luke couldn’t reach him, how can I?”

Leia stepped closer, looking up at him imploringly. “Luke’s a Jedi, you’re his father.” She took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, a gesture he returned. “There’s still light in him, I know it.”

There was so much conviction in her voice, Han wanted to believe it too. So he did. He’d lost so much faith over the years, it was another failure on his part as a father. She wasn’t giving up on their boy, despite actively fighting on opposite sides with him, and he wouldn’t either.

Han had no idea how he was going to do it or if he could even pull it off, but he was going to do whatever he could to bring their boy back. Snoke had kept him away from home and family long enough, had stolen enough of his life, and Han wasn’t going to let the slimy bastard get his way any longer. He’d find a way to put an end to whatever his plans were for Ben.

Even if it killed him.

That feeling he had in the forest lurked in the back of his mind the entire course back to Starkiller Base. He’d spent most of the trip to the ship trying to place it, studying her and her presence in the Force. Troopers had tried to take the girl from him, but he’d refused until they got back to the ship. Kylo wanted to know why it felt like he’d seen her before. Her face wasn’t one he could place and he’d never been to Jakku before the previous night. She should be a complete stranger to him, and yet, he felt as if he knew her.

Kylo had yet to make his report to the Supreme Leader because of this, he didn’t want to go to his master without an answer to his question, or the piece of the map they sought. If he did go to Snoke without something to justify his decision to abandon the droid, it wouldn’t be a pleasant experience. The final section was within her mind, ready to complete the portion they’d pulled from the Imperial archives, he just had to extract it from her.

He wasn’t sure how he’d find the answer to his own question, however, but he would figure it out after he had the map.

His time had been tangled up in a debriefing, but luckily for his sanity and his mission, it was over with quickly enough. Once he’d received word that the girl was secure in the interrogation chamber, Ren made his way there after a brief, tense encounter with the General. He knew she had to be waking up soon and did not want to get caught up with the redhead’s scolding, so he’d left with Hux shouting after him demanding answers. Answers he’d get when he was ready.

Ren ignored the Stormtroopers standing at attention on either side of the door as he breezed past them into the room. Ignored their twinges of fear infecting the air and clinging to his robes like smoke. The girl was still unconscious when he arrived, but already he could feel her starting to stir from the sleeping state he’d left her in.

He would wait, and have patience. Perhaps he could spend the time trying to figure out his puzzling dilemma. The masked man took his seat on the bench across from the rig, forearms coming to rest on his knees.

The longer he looked, the more he was certain he’d never seen this scavenger before. What they knew about her confirmed that they’d never crossed paths either. There wasn’t much on her that they could find, she’d grown up on Jakku, coming from nowhere with even less on her people. She’d been bought by the slime that ran the outpost, put to work by him until her escape in the Millennium Falcon. There’d been no connection between her and the Knight until then, no interaction before the forest.

Once he’d been excited by the unexplainable, hungry for answers. He still was, only now he had to limit himself. To not let his own curiosities get in the way of his master’s plans. No matter how much he itched to know .

When shift in the Force alerted him to her impending return to the land of the living, he was ready. The scavenger jerked awake, disoriented, but it didn’t take her long to find him. Fear sparked in her eyes when she saw the masked creature from the forest and her vision sitting across from her.

“Where am I?” Rey demanded, keeping the waver in her voice down.

Kylo didn’t answer, studying her with her attempt at bravery for a long moment. It was impressive, but foolish. After a long pause he finally spoke. “You’re my guest.”

She looked skeptical, but her concern for her friends took precedence. “Where are the others?”

Kylo’s mouth thinned, and he barely contained the scoff that was his immediate response to it. “You mean the murderers, traitors, and thieves you call friends?” She stared at him in blank silence for the brief pause he gave. “You’ll be relieved to know that I have no idea.” Which a truth that vexed him, but it was a problem for another time. A problem likely already being handled by Hux.

Rey was relieved, but she knew that that wasn’t the end. They were still in danger, and she wasn’t exactly safe and cozy herself. Seeing as how she clearly wasn’t going anywhere, Rey took a moment to collect herself and study her capture. She was still afraid, but there was something… curious. She was also angry. Rey knew what he wanted, to destroy all hope for the galaxy and bring chaos and suffering to other star systems. The First Order had already killed so many, he was part of that too.

Kylo was intrigued by the anger he felt from her. Almost amused by it. “You still want to kill me.”

Rey scoffed at him with a fierce, defiant scowl. “That’s what happens when you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask.”

That stopped Kylo. It wasn’t the first time he’d been addressed as such, in so many words at least, and he’d heard worse. He wasn’t sure why he was considering her words, nor why he chose his next course of action. Before he could question himself, Kylo reached up and pressed his thumbs into the latches under his ‘ears’ as he rose to his feet. The mask hissed as the release gave and the cold, cycled air hit alabaster skin.

Rey flinched back when his hands moved, before freezing in surprise when, as he stood, the haunting mask was removed to reveal the man beneath it. She wasn’t sure what surprised her more, the act itself or the all too human face beneath it. Rey had been expecting something else, something alien and monstrous. Not something so… normal.

It made him even more frightening, knowing what a mere man like himself was capable of.

“The droid. Tell me about it.” Kylo broke the stunned silence after a moment, dark eyes that were no longer impeded by the visor of his mask studying the girl more closely.

Rey didn’t register what he’d said right away, but once she did she swallowed quietly to try to reign in her nerves. “He's a BB unit with a selenium drive and a thermal hyperscan vindicator –”

Kylo scowled and stepped closer to the rig she was restrained to. He didn’t have time for this. “He's carrying a section of a navigational chart. We have the rest, recovered from archives of the Empire. We need the last piece. And somehow, you convinced the droid to show it to you. You. A scavenger –”

Rey was taken aback, afraid, wondering how he could’ve known that about her. Standing above her now, Kylo tried to figure it out. What was so special about her that the droid trusted her? What interest did Solo have in her? What was the Force trying to tell him about her?

He grew impatient, wanting answers and to wash his hands of this simultaneously. “Your dedication to your… friends is admirable, but it will do you no good here. Tell me what I want to know, and perhaps I can arrange for you to return to Jakku.” He offered, hoping to appeal to that longing he sensed from her. A longing he was familiar with…

Rey wasn’t swayed, no matter how much she wished she could just wake up and find herself back in her AT-AT to find that this was all a dream. The man almost seemed disappointed as he shook his head. “You know I can take whatever I want?”

Ren gave her another moment to consider when he saw the trepidation flash in her eyes, he knew she was recalling that moment in the forest when he'd got a glimpse at her mind, but a moment was all he was willing to spare anymore. Tsking, he raised his hand to her face and reached. She recoiled but could go nowhere as he leaned closer, brows pulling together as he concentrated. That pressure in her head she’d felt in the forest returned, stronger than before.

As he looked for what he needed, something strange happened that surprised them both. An energy passed between them, something Kylo recognized as being of the Force and Rey as something she’d felt in the forest. They recognized this energy in each other, and for a moment, time stood still. The sounds of the room faded into a muffled whisper.

Then it resumed again, sound restored, and curious as he was, Kylo would not deviate yet from his mission.

It unsettled him, but Kylo focused as Rey strained in the rigging in agony as the pressure increased and turned to pain. “...You’re so lonely, so afraid to leave…” Rey almost couldn’t hear him, despite him being right beside her ear. A slight smile crossed Ren’s face. “At night, desperate to sleep… you imagine an ocean. I see it, I see the island.”

Tears streamed down Rey’s face in equal parts fear and pain. She tried to resist, tried to break free from his invasion, but she couldn't move. Kylo wondered if he’d found his answer, he recognized that island too. Something he’d seen in his own dreams, when they weren’t nightmares. Perhaps that was the key.

A scowl twists his features in the next second. “And Han Solo. You feel like he’s the father you never had. He would’ve disappointed you.” Like he’d disappointed me . Kylo looked away as he straightened, taking a step away from the bound scavenger, though his hand remained outstretched.

Rey strained harder, finding strength she didn’t know she had. “Get out of my head.” She growled out through the pain, staring defiantly at him.

Kylo’s eyes narrowed as he gave her a look. “I know you’ve seen the map. It’s in there… and now you’ll give it to me.” There was a certain certainty in his voice, one Rey feared. “Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.”

Rey knew what he meant, that strange feeling that passed between them when he’d entered her mind. Rey was afraid of what that meant, but she wouldn’t let it make her budge. Gathering more strength to her, she jerked her arms in their restraints. “I’m not giving you anything.” She hissed.

Kylo only peered at her intensely. “We’ll see.”

With that, he wasted not a moment more. Kylo pressed forward with purpose into her mind, ready to tear it apart to get what he wanted. Scouring every corner of her mind for the missing piece of the map to Skywalker. He didn’t get far before he slammed into something that shook his confidence. A barrier in her mind, protecting the map. His brows pulled closer and closer together as he persisted without gaining any more ground.

Rey watched as the uncertainty flashed in his eyes, and it gave her more confidence and strength to push back against his assault. It was a war between them, a guessing game of who would crumble first.

It was him. Kylo realized this with growing horror as he felt her do the unthinkable and breach his mind instead. The invasion both familiar and not as her light surged through him and started clumsily unearthing things he kept buried for a reason.

Rey had no idea what she was doing and was amazed by what she could see, she knew she couldn’t lose her momentum though, and pressed on. With a strained voice, Rey hissed as she defiantly held his gaze. “...You… you’re afraid. Afraid that you’ll never be as strong as… Darth Vader!”

Panicked, Kylo withdrew from her head with such force that it sent him staggering back, away from the rig and the girl. Shaken deeply, he stood there in a confused, wary silence for a moment before he turned and snatched his mask and stormed out of the interrogation chamber. Leaving the now released girl to celebrate and ponder over her strange victory.

Kylo’s heart pounded in his ears as he considered the implication of this. No mere, pathetic scavenger could do what she just did. No one had ever done what she did. No one aside from Snoke. The strength she possessed, unknowingly, the raw, untamed power she held at her fingertips…

It reminded him of his own.

But the incredibly strong connection to the Light he sensed in her, he’d sensed it before in another, and it was troubling.

What had he just stumbled upon?

Chapter Text

“The scavenger… RESISTED YOU?!”

A storm reverberated within the Force, crackling with white-hot and unstable energy as the large hologram loomed above him in a rage. It beared down on him from every angle, threatening to burn everything in its vicinity to ash.

Kylo resisted the instinct to flinch as he hurried to carry on with his discovery in hopes of distracting or redirecting the Supreme Leader’s rage. “She’s strong with the Force, untrained but stronger than she knows.” That awakening they had felt before, Ren had no doubt that it could’ve come from her. Her powers had to have awakened recently, but she had no clear training. They had known for years now that it was only a matter of time before a great light rose up to meet their darkness, they had just thought it would be another that would rise to the call. What awakened her powers, that remained to be seen, but it was not their primary concern.

His thoughts turned to Skywalker, the map and the possibilities that came with it. Perhaps it was a good thing indeed that he brought the girl, if she’d fallen into Resistance hands and they’d gotten the map and Skywalker, if he’d trained her…

“And the droid?”

As much as he was sure he made a good call with leaving it for the girl after what he’d discovered, Kylo couldn’t help but wince. Hesitant to reveal the truth despite his confidence. Snoke might not see it right away, or at all, and he knew that it had been a gamble despite its results. The decision he made. Before Kylo could speak, however, he was interrupted by another.

“Ren felt it was no longer necessary, that the girl was all we needed.” Kylo turned around in surprise when a voice sounded behind him, he’d missed the General’s entrance, which in itself was a testament to how distracted he was. He could feel his master’s narrowed gaze on the back of his head as the older man realized this about his apprentice too. Kylo turned back around, but kept his head bowed as the General’s smug voice came up beside him. “As a result, the droid has most likely found its way back into the hands of our enemy. They could quite possibly have the map completed by now.”

Snoke’s fury was almost enough to choke him using the very air in his lungs, and Kylo knew not even the distance between the Finalizer and the Supremacy would be enough to protect him should the other lash out. The Supreme Leader was barely containing his rage as he kept their focus on the problem at hand.

“The Resistance must be destroyed before they can reach Skywalker.”

Kylo opened his mouth to further insist that he could get the missing piece from the girl before it was too late, but Hux beat him to it. “We have their location, we tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system.”

Snoke nodded in satisfaction. “Good. Then we will crush them once and for all. Prepare the weapon.”

Kylo was stunned. Part of him knew he was foolish enough to think that this wasn’t what Snoke and Hux meant when they talked about wiping out the Resistance, but he’d never considered doing so like that . He wanted to crush their hope— hope was the true enemy here. “Supreme Leader, I can get the map from the girl. I just need your guidance.”

Snoke studied him for a moment, clearly displeased by his apprentice’s actions, but confident that the war would be put to a swift end soon enough regardless. His own curiosities were also piqued regarding the scavenger in their custody. “If what you say about this girl is true, bring her to me. She could be a powerful ally, or a dangerous enemy. This we must determine immediately.”

Kylo nodded stiffly. Not daring to speak, Snoke’s frustration was thick in the air long after the hologram dispersed. His robes billowed as he turned sharply to exit, hands raising to place his helmet back on his head.

He would not take any more chances, would not give Hux any more satisfaction, and would not fail again. The girl may be powerful and untrained, but he got the sense she was not an idiot. Every second he wasted was another second she got to learn more about this power they were all now aware of. It was time to put an end to this.

------

Rey’s head was turning long after Kylo Ren left her alone. Whatever occurred between them earlier, it almost felt similar to what she experienced in the castle. She couldn’t explain it, part of her was afraid of it, but despite all this, she knew it could be useful. If she could only… figure it out.

She didn’t have a lot of ideas, all of her usual tricks to get out of tricky situations won’t do her a lot of good there. At least, not initially. First Order restraints were a lot more powerful than what other scavengers could dig up, and the security was a lot tighter as well. This was unfamiliar terrain, but Rey was nothing if not resourceful.

A thought did occur to her, something she’d picked up from Kylo Ren’s mind. Rey wasn’t sure how to go about doing it, but she figured it couldn’t hurt to start by reaching out to that strange energy she felt before.

There was a previously unknown amount of potential and strength within her, something she’d gone her whole life ignorant of until that moment. She was flooded with emotions, confusion and uncertainty and desperation, but also determination, defiance, and in that moment, anything felt possible.

“You will remove these restraints.” Her voice shook at first, before rushing as she remembered something. “And leave this cell, with the door open.”

She heard a rustling as the Stormtrooper guarding her cell turned to look at her, and for a moment she wondered if it worked.

“What did you say?”

Rey bit back a frustrated sigh. The incredulous tone told her it not only didn’t work, but had offended her guard. Her confidence wavering, she added more authority into her voice as she repeated herself. “You will remove these restraints and leave this cell, with the door open.”

The Stormtrooper stiffened, before raising his blaster as he approached the bound girl, sending a spike of fear into her heart. She had no idea if she was about to be killed, freed, or laughed at. Perhaps all of the above, not in that order? Her gaze remained fixed on the trooper as he stalked towards her.

“I’ll tighten those restraints, scavenger scum!”

It still didn’t work, but she couldn’t give up.

Something was coming, she could feel it.

Growing closer and closer to the interrogation chambers was Ren, hurrying back so he could complete his mission and figure out the puzzle that was this scavenger. As he neared his final turns, something unsettling filled the air. Something was happening. Something with the girl. Ren picked up the pace to hopefully cut it off before she could try anything.

Taking a deep breath, Rey calmed herself. Staring intently at her guard, Rey reached deeper within herself and that energy before trying again.

“You will remove these restraints and leave the cell, with the door open.”

A beat passed, and Rey was almost certain that it didn’t work and she was about to suffer for it. Then, something incredible happened. The Stormtrooper’s entire demeanor shifted, his voice monotone and dazed.

“...I will remove those restraints, and leave this cell with the door open.”

Rey couldn’t believe it, but the click as the restraints binding her to the chair were released and she was free was proof enough that it had worked. She wouldn’t count her winnings yet, though.

She watched him leave in shock, whatever hold she had on him remaining. Just before he left, she decided to test her luck further. “And you’ll drop your weapon.” She added in a rush.

“Aaaand I’ll drop my weapon.” He added, the gun falling from suddenly slack hands onto the ground, skidding to a halt just past the doorway.

Rey turned after that, watching the weapon wobble before stilling after having been dropped like that. It worked. Whatever she’d done, it’d worked! Rey stood in stunned silence for a split second before getting to work. Bolting away from the rig, she grabbed the gun and checked to make sure the coast was clear before fleeing the room.

She still had the problem of how she was going to get back to the others to solve, but one obstacle had been dealt with. If she kept this up, she was sure she could find a way. There was always a way.

Moments later, Ren entered. The guard gone was his first sign that something was amiss. Still, when he entered he was surprised and alarmed to find the room empty, with no girl in the rig. Then the surprise turned into realization, then the realization into anger as he understood what had happened. That anger blinded him, the Force snapping around him like electricity as he circled the chair. His lightsaber wailed to life and bit into the metal where the girl's torso had once been with a powerful swing.

“ NO! ”

Something trembled in the Force, the cosmos bracing themselves for another act of complete devastation. The stars held their breath as they waited for the gavel to fall. Deep in the Unknown Regions, the weapon that was Starkiller Base was beginning the preparations to fire once more. Draining the life and light from the nearby star for its fuel as the First Order readied itself to finally put an end to this war once and for all. All sights were set upon the Resistance base stationed on D’Qar. 

The Resistance themselves were unaware of what was going on currently in the far corner of the galaxy, but they soon would. Some already suspected, General Organa and the other senior members of the Resistance knew it was only a matter of time before the weapon was pointed at them. Others seemed to pick up on the tension building from across the galaxy, the fight was only just beginning. Rebel intelligence was racing to reach them in time with the confirmation that something was about to happen. In the meantime, the Resistance inner circle gathered around the holotable as they began their plans to combat the newest superweapon and threat to the galaxy. So that no other system would have to suffer the same fate as the Hosnian system.

There were plenty of uncertainties and worries to go around, but they all knew that they had to do something. With the Republic gone, the Resistance was all that there was left to stand up to the First Order. To try to restore peace and finally put an end to the shadow of the Empire. Poe stood at the proverbial head of the table, a grim look on his face matched by everyone around him as he spoke. “The scan data from Snap’s reconnaissance flight confirms Finn’s report.”

Said pilot nodded with a look of barely concealed horror over what he’d seen. “They’ve somehow built a hyper lightspeed weapon built within the planet itself.”

Murmuring went up throughout the room, some in disbelief and skepticism and some in a fraction of that same horror. All were wondering how such a thing was possible, a planet turned into a weapon? Above the noise, someone spoke up. “A laser cannon?”

Snap shook his head slowly, his look of horror never wavering. “We don’t really know how to classify a weapon of this magnitude.”

Then, Major Ematt spoke up with a grim tone, voicing what Snap and a few others in the room were thinking. “It’s another Death Star.”

Poe sighed and shook his head. “I wish that were the case, Major.” I really do . Another Death Star would be easier to deal with, they’d done it twice already. This, this was something else entirely. Reaching for the control panel, Poe hit a button to bring up the wireframe of the first Death Star. “This was the Death Star,” he started, before hitting another button that shrank the Death Star model and brought up the scan Snap made of Starkiller Base. The Death Star was a fraction of its size, if one didn’t recognize them for what they were, it would be easy to mistake them for a planet and its satellite. “And this is Starkiller Base.”

A stunned, horrified silence filled the room as they looked at what they were up against for the first time. Fear was present on more than one face, and some were beginning to lose hope in the fight when a gruff voice spoke up to break the silence.

“So it’s big.” If the situation wasn’t so dire, Leia might’ve huffed a quiet, fond laugh at her wayward husband’s flippant response. Nevertheless, it did do the trick in breaking the stillness that settled over them. Admiral Ackbar was the next to speak up, still ready and willing to fight, no matter what the stakes may be. Though even he seemed hesitant.

“How is it possible to power a weapon of this size?”

The Death Stars both took kyber crystals, and though Ilum was known to be the largest concentration of crystals in the galaxy, it seemed impossible to assume that the planet’s supply would be enough to power something of that scale. Finn took over from there, hoping that the others were still on board to take that thing out. “It uses the power of the Sun, as the weapon charges, the Sun is drained until it disappears.”

Others began to question how it could take the energy of a star to charge itself, but it did make sense for the amount of power it gave off. As they pondered over this, an officer came running in and effectively brought a hushed silence to the room once again as Leia was handed a datacard.

An uneasy feeling settled in Leia gut before she’d even been handed the datacard, the grim atmosphere increased as she read it over as all eyes turned to her and watched her expression shift. Her heart sank as she read over the entire thing. “The First Order is charging the weapon again, now. Our system is the next target.”

Horrified voices and expressions met this announcement, including Threepio’s not so helpful “Oh my! Without the Republic fleet, we’re doomed.” Which only served to make things worse for the room. Han was quick to speak up again in hopes of keeping everything from falling apart.

“Okay, how do we blow it up?”

All eyes turned to him with this, first in confusion, then in understanding as they realized what he was asking. Han continued on, hoping that planning and strategizing would pull the others out of the panic they were settling in. “There’s always a way to do that.”

No one had an answer for him, however. With the first Death Star, once they’d gotten the plans it all seemed so simple, in the ‘here’s how and where to blast it to the next century’ kind of simplicity. The second had been easier in the sense that there’d been a gaping hole a lightfreighter could fit through to fire into, and hadn’t been that far off in design from the first. Starkiller Base was much more massive and complex, and entirely new.

Leia, frustrated with the silence, spoke up. “Han’s right.”

Everyone turned to her in surprise, though none more surprised than Han, who hardly ever heard those words from his wife before. If it were any other situation, Leia was sure she’d hear a lot of crap from the scoundrel over it. Still, she gave him a look that she hoped he understood meant try it and you won’t escape the doghouse this time .

Admiral Statura, hesitantly spoke up. “In order for that amount of power to be contained, that base would need some kind of thermal oscillator.”

Finn was just as uncertain as the rest of them, and though all he’d wanted at first was to put as much distance between him and the First Order as he could get, if there was something he could do to help put a stop to this and save more systems from Starkiller Base, then he had to do it. Plus, he felt responsible for Rey’s kidnapping and had to do something to help her too. He stepped up, moving around the table to the control panel he’d seen Poe using. “There is.”

Pressing a button, he highlighted and magnified an area in the base where he knew the oscillator to be. It settled on a black hexagonal structure, and he pointed to it. “Precinct 47. Here.”

Growing more confident, or at least less uncertain about their chances against this monstrosity, Admiral Statura’s early hesitance dissipated as he hypothesized. “If we destroy that oscillator, it might de-stabilize the core and cripple the weapon.”

Major Ematt spoke up with his own hypothesis. “...Maybe the whole planet.”

Poe came up beside Finn to inspect the specs, and in an attempt to bolster everyone’s spirits, because he couldn’t stand the grim atmosphere a moment longer and he had to believe that it was possible, he pointed to the hexagonal structure. “Then we go in there, we’ll hit it with everything we’ve got, and we’ll put an end to this.”

Admiral Ackbar wanted to join in on the young man’s confidence, but there was something that needed to be pointed out. “They have defensive shields that our ships cannot penetrate.”

Han was in the same boat as Poe, however. “Then we’ll disable the shields.” It’s not like it hasn’t been done before, though he doubted this time they’d find any small and weird furry creatures to help them. Turning to Finn, Han pointed at the hologram. “Kid, you worked there, what do you got?”

For a beat, Finn was silent, looking to the hologram before mustering up every bit of confidence he had. “I can bring them down.”

Han grinned and nodded to Leia. “I like this kid.”

Finn felt both honored for Han’s confidence in him, and guilty. He pushed past the latter in favor of staying real in the moment. “I can disable the shields, but I have to be there , on the planet—”

Han just shrugged and waved a hand. “We’ll get you there.”

Han’s certainty pulled a suspicious look from Leia, her eyes narrowed as she turned to her husband. “Han, how?”

Han was just as quick to wave her off too. “If I told you, you wouldn’t like it.”

Leia knew that whatever the crazy smuggler had planned, she definitely wouldn’t like it. But there had been plenty of plans of his that she hadn’t liked that worked out well, sometimes better than anything anyone else had planned, as infuriating as that was. If there was one thing Han was good at though, it was pulling off the impossible. She just hoped that this wasn’t the moment where his risky tendencies got him killed.

Poe was more than willing to roll with this, however. He knew that taking risks was the only way they were going to win this war, especially now. “So we disable their shields, take out the oscillator, blow it up and take away their big gun.” It seemed so simple, the way he said it, but it path was clear and defined and so much more than they started out with, and it bolstered enough confidence in the room to get them moving. “Alright, let’s go.”

With that, the room split, ready and raring to go into battle.

------

The base was buzzing with energy as everyone scrambled to get things ready. They had a limited timeframe to complete this mission and avoid their complete destruction, and that window was closing rapidly as the weapon across the galaxy continued to charge and bring eternal darkness to its world. To those old enough to remember, to have been there, it was reminiscent of the first time they were faced with these odds before. More than a few were wishing that that bright-eyed, blonde haired Outer Rim hick that made the impossible shot then was there to help them with this now.

Han and Leia were a couple of those people, but they both knew that they could do this without Luke. Leia knew they had to, they had no other choice at that moment. Han, on the other hand, had enough confidence in enough people to think that they could get by without a Force-wielding brat to save their skins for them. This time, at least.

Han was directing Finn to help Chewie prepare the Falcon for takeoff, their team would be a lot smaller this go around, but they’d have everything they’d need. They wouldn’t need a large infiltration force for this, and with the security Starkiller had compared to Endor, anything bigger than their three man team would be too much of a risk. He’d been in the middle of wondering if they’d be killed before they even left D’Qar if Finn wasn’t careful with what he was handling, when a familiar and comforting voice spoke up behind him.

“No matter how much we fought, I’ve always hated watching you leave.”

Han softened before turning around, face to face with Leia. An easy smile found its way onto a weathered face, and though it didn’t quite reach his eyes— his smiles hardly ever did those days, finding the Falcon after years of wondering if she’d still be in once piece if he ever did find her was the closest it had come— it still held the same amount of fondness and care he always had for her. “That’s why I did it, so you’d miss me.”

Leia laughed softly, a musical melody he’d always loved to hear, even before they’d gotten together. “I did miss you, Han.”

Han moved closer to her as she did to him, hazel eyes softening further. He’d missed her too. From the moment he’d turn his back to leave, he missed her. Han hated how often he had left, hated how much he’d been gone. He regretted every second he wasn’t with her, wasn’t with their family. More than once, he’d wondered if he’d only just stayed , only just pushed aside that need to move , if things would’ve been different. For them. For Ben.

“It wasn’t all bad, was it? Huh?” Han asked after a moment, voice soft and fond, and a little hopeful that her answer was the same as his. That she didn’t regret ever getting with a guy like him. “Some of it was… good.”

It was the best thing he ever had, and far more than he ever expected he would get. Relief washed over him when she smiled in return and nodded. “Pretty good.”

Han knew he had a lot to apologize for, and though they both were aware that that chance might never come with what they were facing, he also knew that in that moment, it all went unsaid. “Some things never change.”

The glint in Leia’s eyes turned to a fond playfulness he was familiar with. “True. You still drive me crazy.”

Han huffed a short chuckle, before placing his hands on her shoulders. For a moment, all they could do was drink the other in like no time had passed at all. And for a second, it felt that way too. Then, they both reached to embrace one another. A quiet, somber understanding passing between them. That this might be the last time they ever saw one another, that this would be their last embrace. Every time they fought, every time either one of them left, no matter how bad things seemed in the moment that was something they never fathomed, but there was no getting around it this time. They held each other a little tighter, and Han wished that time would freeze. They didn’t have enough time before, they certainly didn’t now. No amount of time would ever be enough for them.

From his chest, Leia whispered, her voice thick with longing. Longing for the missing piece to their family, the empty space in both of their arms where they’d once held a light was hard to ignore. It was a longing Han knew well and felt in full.

“If you see our son again, bring him home.”

Han said nothing at first, just held her against him a little tighter as his chin came to rest atop of her braided head. He had no idea if Ben would even be there, and part of him hoped that he wouldn’t be. That he’d be far away from Starkiller Base, safe. As safe as he could be away from home, inside Snoke’s territory and at the Supreme Leader’s mercy. Yet at the same time, he knew it was a very likely possibility. With his position at Snoke’s side, the importance of Starkiller Base, and the targeting of the Resistance, only a fool would assume that Kylo Ren wouldn’t be present for this moment in the war.

His earlier doubts whispered in his ear that he wouldn’t be enough to bring their boy home, but his promise would not be broken. He’d broken enough in his life. He’d failed them both enough. Snoke would only use their son until he had nothing left to give and then he’d destroy him. If there was a chance he could stop that before it happened, he had to try. Han wondered if this was the same feeling, the same conviction Luke had when he went to go try and bring Vader back.

Han just hoped that the end result wouldn’t be the same this time.

“I will.”

I will or I’ll die trying , the rest of his promise went unsaid, but he knew she still understood. They were both always ready to lay down their lives for their son, for as much as they disagreed on a lot of things, this and their love for their son was something they could always agree on. She would promise the same if their positions were reversed.

Leia squeezed him back in response. No more words needed to be said.

By the end of that day, their family would either be whole again, or broken further. Only time would tell. 

Time, and the will of the Force.

Chapter Text

The base was alive in more ways than one, the activity of the workers and within the Force growing stronger with each passing second.

While the majority of the base crew there was preparing the weapon to fire at the rebel system, a platoon had been commandeered by Kylo Ren to scour the base for the girl. Ren was ducking calls from Hux from the moment he put the alert out, he had no time nor patience to deal with him right now. No priority calls from the Supreme Leader followed, which Ren considered it a small mercy that Hux was either too busy with his own success or content to watch him fail from afar before bringing Snoke into this. Ren would be damned if he gave him the satisfaction, though.

His senses were stretched out as far as they could go trying to find the damn girl. The quintessence and activity within the base, both from the kyber and the people, were making things seem… muddy. Murky. She wasn’t skilled enough to hide herself from him, but she had the advantage of nature and circumstances hindering his ability. She was quick and skilled enough to stay ahead and out of sight of the Stormtroopers combing the place for her, however.

Tension crawled up his spine, shoulders bunched tightly and hands balled into fists at his side. He knew that every second she evaded capture, was another second she was able to grow stronger. Bolder. Untrained, but smart and quick to learn, it made her dangerous. Made her a threat that needed to be contained quickly. Just before he was about to snap, a Stormtrooper approached him with haste.

“Sir, our sensors were triggered in hanger 718. We’re searching the area.”

Finally , some results. Kylo glanced over the security alert shown to him, and the red dots signifying their men. Red dots that were too far away and moving too slowly. “She’s just beginning to test her powers. She becomes more dangerous every second she’s out there. We do not have long to find her. Prepare a containment room and shackles, I’ll go after her myself. Lock down all her possible exits.”

He didn’t stick around to wait for the trooper to give a response, though she was quick to rush off to do as the volatile commander said. Ren left with haste, they were running out of time. He could hear the whispers that followed him out that doubted how one girl could be such a threat to them. Their weak-minded selves lacked faith and weren’t in short supply of ignorance, and Ren wasn’t going to let them screw this up and let her get away. There wasn’t anywhere for her to go, except for the hangar, but she wouldn’t get far then. All she would get would be a swift death, especially if any of these careless troopers got to her first, and that was not part of the plan right now.

This would go a lot easier if his Knights were there, they would’ve had her in hand and on her way back to his interrogation room by now. But they were out on a mission for the Supreme Leader, and it made the Master of the Knights of Ren even more miffed than he usually was when the Supreme Leader butted into the affairs of his Knights. They were supposed to be independent of the First Order’s affairs, just as he technically was, to a degree, and free to come at his call.

Not for the first time, Kylo wondered who the Knights truly answered to, and if their loyalty to him was really secure. It also made him wonder what Snoke’s plans were for them that he would, the Supreme Leader and his mentor aside, completely bypass the hierarchy of a Knights of Ren clan for his own bidding.

It was a thought Ren pushed to the back of his mind, he had other things to worry about as he came out into the mouth of the precinct the girl was spotted in. The Force around him brimmed with the flames of his rage as troopers finally entered the area and began their search for the scavenger, one almost frantically joining the search, sans weapon, with enough confusion and fear wafting off of him to know why he was so interested in apprehending the girl. Ren bit back a snarl as he seethed over the weak-minded foolishness he was given under the guise of being the best that the First Order had to offer.

Stormtroopers rushed past him as they moved to cover every inch of the hangar. The advantage of their numbers and their training would be their saving grace that day. As much as Ren knew now not to underestimate the girl, he picked up enough from her attempted fighting in the forest earlier and from her mind to know that scrimishes like that and this were something she was woefully unprepared for. They had the home field advantage as well, she wouldn’t know this base as well as any of them. 

One of the officers that had come in behind the troopers approached the masked warrior like he was approaching his death. Which given the news he had for him, it wasn’t an unfair assumption. “Sir, she’s nowhere in this hangar, but all troopers are on high alert.”

Ren felt a flash of irritation, they were too late to capture her there, but they still had a chance. “Put every hangar on lockdown, she’s going to try to steal a ship.” Ren had begun brainstorming the kind of places a scrapper from Jakku might go to escape or hide in a place like this in the meantime when something rocked through the Force and brought him to a cold halt.

Troopers barely managed to avoid running into him and part around the commander with haste, but they kept moving. The officer gave him a look, before quickly dismissing himself to do as instructed. Just as well, Ren was just glad they couldn’t sense the way ice settled throughout his body as the familiar feeling brought with it a harsh slap of realization.

He’d felt this before, recently, even though he’d tried not to think about it then, it was hard to ignore now. Ren couldn’t believe it, couldn’t imagine him to be so reckless as to infiltrate this place. How he would manage to even get past their shields was an impossible mystery.

But he could believe it, and he knew what he felt to be true. He was perfectly capable of being this reckless, he’d done it before on countless occasions. This… this was nothing to him. Kylo could almost laugh, but he knew the sound alone would bring several troopers to their deaths as the surprise messed with their footing, he was also aware that he was teetering too close to the edge of maniacal to risk his reputation. Taking a deep breath, Kylo turned in the direction he felt this presence in. Not far from the base, in the snowy banks of what was once an Ilum forest, laid in wait another quarry of his.

“Han Solo…”

------

As they neared Starkiller Base, the Falcon gave a shrill warning that, for the first time, Han chose to ignore. Much to Finn’s concern.

Han knew that Chewie was already aware of what he was planning; he'd shared his information on the shields around the planet with the Wookiee before they’d left D’Qar. His first mate was well aware of the kind of man Han Solo was to know that asking him what his plan was was a stupid thing to do. He wouldn’t have liked the answer anyway, but Chewie still knew that where this was going was every bit the stupid and reckless shit his friend would do.

“So, uh— how are we getting in?” Finn asked, something telling him that he wouldn’t like the answer either.

Han huffed and checked their approach vector before answering, they’d have to act quick if they didn’t want to be what put a hole through the planet before the Resistance showed up. Or become part of the landscape, depending on where they, hit he supposed.

“Their fields have a fractional refresh rate. Does a good job keeping anything traveling slower than lightspeed from getting in.” Han decided to have mercy on the kid and elaborate, though he did wonder how the kid hadn’t known this himself.

Finn’s unease spiked as the alarm nearly sent his heart into his knees. A heavy sense of dread filled him when the smuggler made no attempt to drop out of hyperspace like his ship was trying to tell him. “We’re going to make our landing approach at lightspeed?!”

Han cringed at the volume, but Chewie answered with a roar of Hell yes we are! while giving his human companion a look he was well familiar with: Remind me again why I put up with your bullshit?

Han just gave his friend a small grin before getting into position. “Alright, Chewie, get ready. We got one shot at this, make it count.”

Chewie groaned but did as instructed, the two were a well-oiled machine after decades of traveling together. With Chewie at the ready, Han’s eyes remained fixated on the panel indicators for a few seconds, which seemed to stretch on forever for the tense fliers. Then—

“Now!”

As Han and Chewie hit the switches in sync, the Falcon’s environment shifted far more violently than she’s ever faced as they dropped out of hyperspace. Stars melted away into a snowy wasteland, with winds of such force that Han worried if the weather should’ve been their main concern over a lightspeed landing approach.

The ship veered towards a snowy, rocky stretch of land, and a thick patch of woods equally as snowy and rocky as the open plains.

Beside him, Chewie groaned, and Han swore. “ I am pulling up! ”

Metal clanged and groaned as they cut through a row of trees, Han did his best to steer through it before the ship suddenly started to rise and bring them above it. Han kept her from going too high, pulling an alarmed warble from his companion. “If I fly any higher they’ll see us!”

Several harrowing seconds followed as they mowed down trees for several thousand yards, before the ship exploded out of the other end of the forest and slammed into the snowy ground below, skidding for several hundred more yards before coming to a groaning halt. Han’s heart raced in his chest, and he hated to think about the kind of damage they just put the old freighter through after she’d spent years being mistreated by another man. I’m sorry, baby Han bemoaned internally and cringed as some part of the ship rumbled unhappily.

After everyone had a chance to catch their breath and get their legs working again, they got a move on pretty quickly. There was the hope that their approach went unnoticed, but they weren't foolish enough to think that they were in the clear. It wouldn’t be long before a patrol noticed the damage in the woods and came looking for the source, they needed to be back at the ship before that happened, or they might never make it off of that frozen rock.

The trek through the forest was shorter than Han expected, but no less easy on his old bones. The cold made it a bitch too, but he’d endure. It wasn't nearly as bad as Hoth. As they got closer and the base came within sight, the party of three took cover behind a structure. The tink of metal in the duffle Chewie carried reminded Han that they needed to be careful for a number of reasons. If he wasn’t afraid of getting clubbed over the head with brute Wookiee force, Han would remind Chewie to be careful with the damn explosives .

“The flooding tunnels are just over there, that’s how we’ll find our way in.” Finn pointed out to the tunnel openings in question, but before he could lead the way to them, Han grabbed the back of his jacket and pulled him back in with a narrowed expression.

“What was your job when you were based here?” Han needed to be sure that they had the means to take out those shields, and that there wouldn’t be any hiccups this time, but there was also a nagging suspicion in the back of his mind he needed confirmation on.

Finn looked conflicted for a moment, before realizing he was caught in the act. There was no point in hiding it now, not when they were so close and needed to move yesterday . “Sanitation.”

Han blinked, thinking he’d heard wrong. “Sanitation?” Finn nodded, and Han’s frustration began to mount. “Then how do you know how to disable the shields?” Were they teaching everyone from head honcho to fry cook how to work them? Han doubted, and he knew the answer wouldn’t help any of them.

“I don’t. I’m here to get Rey.” Finn replied. He wanted to help the Resistance too, but he owed it to Rey to fix his mistake. He wasn’t sure how they’d get over the hurdle of not knowing how to disable the shields, but he knew where to find Rey and how to get her out of there. They could worry about the rest after that.

Han wasn’t so patient and willing to risk it all for a girl. Sure, he was worried too, but they had bigger things to worry about, and despite only knowing her for a few hours, Han got the feeling that Rey would prefer they didn’t put countless lives at risk for her sake. “People are counting on us, kid. The galaxy is counting on us—”

Finn waved Han’s concerns off and tried to calm the man down. “Solo, we’ll figure it out. We’ll use the Force!”

Was this guy kidding? “That’s not how the Force works!”

Was he really the one saying that now?

Chewie moantalked behind him, and Han turned to the other with a incredulous, frustrated look. “Oh, you’re cold? I woulda thought all that damn fur kept you nice and warm. Or is it only there to clog up the—”

Finn cut into the banter with an impatient sound. “Come on! Before they see us!”

As they walked, the ground rumbled beneath their feet. Han looked up at the strange, horrifying display of a Sun being sucked dry of all its energy. Force to fuel a weapon of mass destruction, a reaper for Death. A deep frown marred weathered features as they put a bit more urgency in their step. They were running out of time, if the Resistance were going to be able to put a stop to this they’d need those shields down soon.

Han just hoped they managed it before the machine was ready.

------

They made it through the base behind Finn’s lead with only one small hiccup. Which was a surprise, given how well staffed the place seemed and how entirely out of place the three of them were. Han could’ve laughed at the shitty security if he wasn’t afraid of drawing attention to them.

As Chewie dealt with hiding the remains of the lone trooper they’ve crossed so far, Han turned to the kid with a sigh. They got this far, they had to keep going, Han just hoped the kid was more than talk. “Alright, kid. The longer we’re here, the more our luck runs out, and we ain’t got a lot of it to begin with. The shields. How do we go about getting them down in time for the Resistance’s arrival?”

The kid had a thoughtful look on his face that had Han thinking they weren’t screwed yet. “I had an idea about that. Follow me.”

------

Han changed his mind. They were totally screwed.

In theory, it sounded nice. Yet. Little insane, but they all were. How hard was it to spot and capture a chrome plated Stormtrooper among thousands in white armor? Well, the answer was: it wasn’t hard to spot her, capturing her , that was another story.

They ended up playing scraprats for a bit trying to find a moment to snag the Captain when there weren’t as many soldiers around, and already Han knew Chewie was going to have to handle this himself. Her skills as told by Big Deal aside, the only human Han had seen rival her in size had been Vader. Maybe Ben, though Han would be willing to bet that this Phasma lady had him beat out in the height department too by a few inches.

Han was about to call the whole thing off so they could find someone a little less likely to put a hole through each of them before they had a chance to blink, there were plenty of other uniformed men and women running about who looked like officers. An officer could do what they needed to, right? They didn’t need one of the top three people in command there on base to get those shields down, did they?

They did, and Han wondered how in the hell they were going to bring her down quietly when Chewie decided now was as good a time as any to go full Wookiee warrior on the chrome mountain of a woman.

It was honestly… quite impressive. Han had doubts Chewie could pull it off even with his enhanced strength.

After a small but quick skirmish, Chewie had his arms wrapped securely around her. Effectively pinning her in place. Han couldn’t see her face but he could guess she was less than pleased with this turn of events. The movement of her helmet did give away her surprise when he and Finn stepped out from their cover as Chewie forced her around into their direction.

“Remember me?” There was about a lifetime’s worth of pent up anger and resentment in the kid’s voice, and Han couldn’t blame him. Finn leveled his blaster at her as she responded with a hiss.

“FN-2187.”

Finn’s features twitched with displeasure and even more anger as he shook his head defiantly. He wasn’t a number , he had a name. He wasn’t a weapon , he was a person. No one, especially her, would take that away from him again. “Not anymore. The name’s Finn, and I’m in charge. You get that? I’m in charge now, Phasma.”

As much as Han wanted the kid to have his long awaited and much deserved moment, they didn’t have time for it right now. “Bring it down. Bring it down .” He reminded them.

Finn nodded stiffly, before smiling at Phasma’s chrome visor. “Follow me.”

------

Despite the slight chill of the base and her less than appropriate clothes for it— she was made for desert weather, not ice — Rey’s forehead and neck glistened with sweat. She’d spent what felt like hours running around in circles, and as more and more Stormtroopers flooded the halls, she knew that that was quickly becoming not an option for her. So, with quick thinking, she took to what she did best.

Climbing.

She spotted the perfect place for it when she was doing her circles, but there was too much activity around her for her to do more than put a pin in it for a potential later . Now, later had come, and it was likely her best option. They were looking for her throughout the corridors and cutting off her route to whichever hangar they kept their ships in, but she knew there was always more than one way to get through a ship. This might not be a ship, but it felt like one. The equipment was newer but familiar enough to the downed Imperial Star Destroyers to not be completely foreign ground to her.

Rey had found her best spot for it and started to climb down, climbing down was usually always a safe bet. If something happened, there would be an easier escape and she didn’t risk getting cut off several floors above. Rey dropped out of sight just as another patrol came by, she could hear their thundering footsteps above. She paused, holding her breath to make herself quieter, and waited. They passed her by without stopping, and Rey breathed a silent sigh of relief as she resumed her descent.

She had no idea where she was going, no idea how she’d get off of that planet nor how she would find her way out in the galaxy. She knew it in theory , but there were too many variables. Rey knew, deep down, that returning to Jakku wasn’t a smart move. They might come looking for her there, but she didn’t know anywhere else to go. It was a bridge she’d cross when she got to it.

Something else nagged at her, a feeling that seemed to bear down on her from all around her. A feeling that intensified when she found a service hatch and used it to resume her climb inside the wall for a bit more cover. It was something she couldn’t place, it didn’t feel like what happened back in the interrogation chamber. A thousand whispers, mostly in agony, calling out to her. Seemingly seeping out from the walls around her, the ground below, the sky above. Like something deep within the planet was begging for help.

Rey didn’t know what it meant, but as the ground rumbled again and the walls seemed to vibrate with energy, she did know one thing.

Her window to escape was closing. Quickly.

She had to keep moving.

------

Scouts had tracked the ship's location to the other side of the forest beside the base. By the looks of things, it was a miracle they managed to survive the landing at all. Many wondered who was stupid enough to invade their base, nevermind do so with an approach at lightspeed of all things.

The ship wasn’t like how he remembered it. It was in a much sorrier sight. The Millennium Falcon always seemed like it was being held together with glue and a prayer, but this was different. This was pathetic.

No one was on board, though Kylo wasn’t expecting anyone to be. Snow crunched underfoot as he moved closer to it once the troopers cleared out of it with their scanning equipment. There was no need for him to go on board to check for himself, the troopers knew it’d be their heads if they didn’t report in any important findings and he’d sensed before the ship even came into view that there was no one around. No smuggler or Wookiee, no rebels hiding in the shrubbery. Still, his feet carried him towards the gangplank, then up it. Drawn by an unseen force, forcing him into its gravitational pull.

It was like seeing a ghost. Or being surrounded by them. Or both. The ship was still warm, yet it seemed dead. Abandoned. Broken and beaten and left to weather the storm alone. Like him. Kylo never thought he’d walk through those halls again, never set eyes on the holotable where he learned to read and write and play sabacc and holochess on, never enter the cockpit he learned to fly in. It seemed a lot smaller now, he’d only been a boy last time he was there.

His hands gripped the pilot and co-pilot seats in a hold not even death could escape from. His mind assaulted with a thousand memories he’d thought long since dead and buried. Memories of sitting in his father’s lap pretending to pilot this ship, or actually piloting it in one of those occasions where he’d let the boy take her for a spin around whatever planet they were on. Laughter and smiles, tears and shouting, quiet and calm and tense and uncertain, this ship had seen it all. Kylo thought he’d be filled with a visceral hatred for this damned ship, and there was that dark emotion twisting heavily around his heart, but there was an assortment of other emotions warring for their place at the forefront of his crisis.

Coming to this ship was a mistake , he realized too late.

The memories, the good and the bad, were too much. More to that, the longing he felt swept him out by the knees . Kylo doesn’t know what he’s longing for but he knows he shouldn’t . Knows it’s dangerous and foolish and unobtainable —

Where there was already a crack in his resolve, it widened further with each pounding heartbeat. From it showed a little more of the light he kept at bay, the darkness scrambling to patch up the crack as his anger at himself became palpable. The air crackled with it, and Kylo was contemplating turning that ship into rubble and seeing if it’ll put an end to the onslaught of memories and whatever plans Solo had when a Stormtrooper came up behind him.

“Sir, you’re requested back at base. Captain Phasma failed to report in, and a body was found on level two.”

Kylo swore under his breath, his voice too quiet to be picked up by the modulator before speaking up. “Contact General Hux, alert him that the infiltrators are at least one human male and one Wookiee male. I want a full report of their movements and what’s going on by the time I get back to base.”

He would put this ship and its memories back where they came from: in the past, dead, killed, buried where they belonged. Even if, as he walked, the sound of a child’s footsteps chased by the heavier footfalls of a smuggler as they both laughed, played, and were filled with joy followed after him, begging him to come home.

I don’t have it , the darkness that he was made up of screamed.

I want it , the light within him agonized.

Shut up , went his ignored plea.

------

If they weren’t on the clock before, they sure as hell were now. Han doubted anyone of Phasma’s station and visibility would not be missed for long. Luckily, she seemed much more agreeable than her reputation suggested. Being t-boned by a Wookiee and then having three blasters aimed at you made cooperation seem more favorable than resistance for anyone.

Han had to hand it to Finn, despite the fact he lied he came through in the end. Kid kind of reminded him of, well, him . He’s sure Leia will get a kick out of this once it was all over, assuming they were all still alive and they managed to pull this whole thing off.

Once they made it to the control room they needed to bring the shields down, the three of them corralled Phasma inside, Han taking point on being the lookout while Finn and Chewie handled Chrome Dome.

Finn’s eyes narrowed as Phasma deliberately refused to touch the panel once she was sitting, and he waved his blaster threateningly. “Want me to blow that bucket off your head? Lower the shields.”

Though they couldn’t see her face, it was clear from her body language that if looks could kill, they’d all be buried out in the snow by now. “You’re making a big mistake.”

Han didn’t like her tone of voice for a number of reasons, but Finn wasn’t having it and pushed her further with Chewie backing him up. “ Do it. ”

With stiff, reluctant movements, Phasma did as they said. Han was still holding his breath, waiting for her to sound an alarm or something, but the alert ‘SHIELDS DISABLE INITIATE’ brought him some relief. It’d still probably alert the base, but they wouldn’t be able to get them in time to stop this, or get their shields back up in time to prevent the Resistance attack.

At least, that was what Han was praying for.

Finn eyed the controls with satisfaction, before jumping back into business with a renewed urgency. “Solo, if this works, we won’t have a lot of time to find Rey.”

Han had never planned on leaving without at least looking for the girl to begin with, so he only nodded with an understanding expression. “Don’t worry, kid. We’re not leaving without her.”

With a final click, the screens flashed a victorious ‘SHIELDS DISABLED’. Once that was done, Phasma turned to the former Stormtrooper with a cruel, scathing hiss. “You can’t be so stupid as to think this will be easy. My troops will storm this block and kill you all.”

“I disagree.” Finn replied coldly, before turning to the others. “What do we do with her?”

Han looked between Finn and Phasma, before an idea came to him. “This place have a trash compactor? Garbage chute?”

Phasma looked repulsed, as repulsed as an expressionless mask to get, and Finn just looked confused for a moment, before a slow smile formed with realization. “Yeah, there is…”

------

Back on D’Qar, several officer’s stations were suddenly alight with the same urgent alert.

“General! Their shields are down!”

Leia felt a weight lift off of her shoulders. “Han did it.” She knew he could, now she just had to hope that he got out of there in time. And if he saw their boy… “Send them in.”

One hurdle at a time, Leia thought to herself as her people prepared for their attack. They’d need to act swiftly before the First Order got their shields back up. Han could handle himself, and if he found their son, she knew he’d do what he could there too. For now, it was time for her to do her part.

Chapter Text

Panic had settled over the foundations of the base as every personnel member scrambled to both prepare for the coming attack and find the perpetrators that took down their shields. Starkiller Base had seemed like such an impenetrable fortress just moments ago, a planet of death and power unlike anything seen before. A symbol of fear and of the First Order’s might. Though they had been trained to defend the base, and a large number of First Order forces resided there, not many had ever expected this day to come. Never expected the rebels to be so brazenly foolish as to strike at them like this, nevermind manage to strike at them from the inside . 

Pilots made for their TIE fighters as orders blared over the speakers, more and more troops either flooding the halls to take their defensive positions or preparing in their barracks for a ground assault, the control center was filled with almost too much energy as officers moved every which way. A furious, but determined, redhead in the center of it. Waiting.

Once they were given the all-clear signal, the rebel fighters that had been dispatched to take down the oscillator prepared to make the drop out of lightspeed and into battle. Poe’s black marked X-Wing led the charge, and one by one the familiar birds of prey dropped out of hyperspace over the daunting image of Starkiller Base. The ships sped past snow ridden trees and an abandoned freighter surrounded by First Order vehicles as they made for their target: the hexagonal structure that, hopefully, would bring the entire weapon down before they could fire. Maybe even the entire planet.

Poe squinted through the dimming light and mess of snow, the planet seemingly raging at what was going on in its center. Their mark was clear and near, set in the scopes of his targeting system with a quick push of a few buttons.

“We’re almost in range! Hit the target dead center, go for as many runs as we can. Don’t stop until it goes!”

Each member of Black Squadron gave their confirmation, the oscillator at the center of every pilot’s attention. The ships came in ready, and one pregnant pause later, explosions rocked the ground before the ships disappeared into the smoke.

“Let’s light it up!” Poe shouted as they all pulled up and moved for another run, dive bombing it straight for the center. Several shots made contact dead center of the thing, but not a single one did a thing to damage the structure. Asty was both shocked and dismayed at the whole lot of nothing their attacks were doing so far. “No damage!”

Poe swore under his breath when he took note of it as well, but he still pulled his ship around for another pass as he spoke over the comms with urgency. “Yeah, we gotta keep hitting it! Another bombing run, and another until it gives. Remember, when the sun goes out that weapon will be ready to fire! But as long as there’s light, we’ve got a chance. Let’s go again. Come on!”

The first explosion knocked a few off of their feet, but Hux was quick on his as he moved to the viewport facing the attack. He inspected the damage with a snarl, though their weapons were doing nothing, he knew that wouldn’t hold forever. Turning to a nearby officer, Hux’s eyes narrowed. “Dispatch all squadrons! I want all TIE fighters in the air immediately! Target those rebel ships.”

BB-8 beeped in alarm in his dock on Poe’s ship, and the pilot’s head whipped around to try to find the source of his droid’s alarm. The familiar wailing of TIEs could be heard before they were seen. A rather colorful swear alerting the rest of his squadron moments later of their new problem.

“Guys, we’ve got company. A lot of it.”

The General turned back in the direction of the oscillator, an unsettling feeling weighing on him as he considered the reason behind this attack. Sharp, pale green eyes darted to the mouth of the weapon where more and more of the Sun was being consumed, and then back to the oscillator. Gloved hands clenched into tight fists at his side.

They were targeting it for a reason . They needed to put a stop to this, now , before the rebels got any further in trying to turn his work into ruin .

“Where’s Ren? Get him down there now!”

------

It was a race against the clock. Each rattling explosion was a reminder that this battle needed to be brought to an end quickly if they were going to save the Resistance, and the galaxy at large. As they neared the junction bay, the three skid to a halt not far from a set of blast doors.

Finn’s half-cocked plan was barely even that, but it was the best he got as he studied the door for a moment. “We’ll use the charges to blow that thing, once the doors are open I’ll go in and draw fire. I’m gonna need cover, so that’s where you two need to come in.”

Han eyed the kid like he wasn’t sure if he should be impressed or worried for his sanity. Real funny from the guy who once charged his way into a platoon of Stormtroopers on a whim on the Death Star. “You sure you’re up for this, kid?”

In truth, he wasn’t. He really wasn’t. But Rey was in danger and was counting on them to help her. She’d been alone in this place at his mercy for long enough. “Hell no. But I have to go in and try to find Rey.” He admitted shakily, but the determination in his eyes never wavered. He had to improvise, quickly. “The troopers will be on our tail, we have to be ready for that.” While Finn was looking elsewhere, Han spotted something over the kid’s shoulder that caught his surprise and his attention. 

As Finn tried to continue on, Han’s insistent, if strangely amused, chin jerking distracted him. Brown furrowed in confusion and impatience, Finn finally glanced over his shoulder to see what caught Solo’s attention. “What are you doing? Why are you doing that? I’m trying to come up with a pl—“

What he found nearly had his eyes bugging out of his head. Behind him he could hear Han and Chewie both give sounds of relief as they watched Rey climb out of something and up towards the main level of the facility. Alive, somewhat free, and seemingly unharmed. He didn’t know how she escaped, but Finn was so relieved to see her. Now, they just had to catch up with her.

The burn in her body was familiar and kept her going, as it did every time it crept up on her while she scavenged through fallen ships for scraps of food. When she’d climb for hours through broken, twisted metal in the unforgiving heat of Jakku, oftentimes with a drop below her far enough down to make someone sweat on its own. Rey kept climbing, she would always keep climbing, until she reached her goal: safety.

When she finally got ground under her feet, Rey quietly slid her rifle back around and listened. A sound to her left told her the coast was not clear as she expected, but as she swung around ready to meet her foe— she found something unexpected instead.

Her friends.

Han didn’t even flinch when he found himself on the business end of a blaster, wasn’t the first time and likely wouldn’t be the last if he made it out of there, he was just more relieved than he’d expected to see her alive. “Are you alright?” He asked as they came together.

Rey couldn’t believe it, she expected this to be a dream. She couldn’t figure out what they were doing there? “Yeah.” She replied, a little out of breath from the climb.

Han gave one short nod, never much one for words in situations like this. “Good.”

Finn’s worry was just as great as his relief as he gave her a quick once over for any visible injuries. “What happened— did he hurt you?” He’d only heard stories of the kind of interrogations Kylo Ren carried out, but he knew what he was capable of. He’d cleaned up enough of his tantrums to know how volatile he was, heard enough about the battles he’d carried out to have an idea as to how dangerous and deadly he could be.

Rey didn’t answer his question, she had no idea how to explain what all had happened and have them believe her. “Finn. What are you doing here?” She asked instead. Finn had run away from this place to not be their pawn anymore, he’d wanted to get as far away from them as he could. Coming back was dangerous for him.

Finn gave her a look that clearly said he couldn’t believe she’d really asked that. “We came back for you.”

The admission left Rey speechless. It was all she’d ever wanted of someone, for them to come back for her. She honestly never expected them to come back, she never would have blamed them if they hadn’t. It was one thing on Jakku, it was nowhere but it was open and limited. This place, the First Order, was dangerous and they had resources and means many in the galaxy could only dream of. The fact that they did risk it, for her…

Beside them, Chewie rumbled something quietly, with a hint of fondness in the old Wookie’s tone. Rey’s breath hitched in her throat and tears burned in the corner of her eyes as she looked back to Finn.

Finn’s brows furrowed in confusion, wishing, not for the first time on this trip, that Shryiiwook was something he’d taken. But the extra languages outside of Binary and Basic and few of the more prominent ones in the Unknown Regions where they operated weren’t considered a priority for troopers of his station. “What’d he say?”

Rey gave Finn a wet, grateful smile. “That this was your idea.”

Finn blinked, before giving Rey a small, awkward smile and a little shrug. Rey didn’t know what else to say, but she knew she didn’t have to. Not right then. The two moved to embrace each other, they had a moment before the rest of the world could catch up to them.

“Thank you.” Rey whispered into his shoulder.

Finn just hugged her a little tighter. “How’d you get away?” She hadn't answered him before. He didn’t know how it was possible, not with what he’s heard about Ren. He was glad she managed, but Finn couldn’t wrap his head around how she had, or how she’d managed to get this far.

Rey’s jaw shifted, not sure if she should mention the how of her escape. She hadn’t thought a lot of things were possible before, and Rey didn’t know if they’d believe any of the strange things she’s experienced since leaving Jakku. Trying to wrap her head around it all now was nearly impossible, and something she didn’t want to face again. 

Even though, deep down, she knew it was only a matter of time before she had to, now that it was out in the open. Now that it was… awake.

“I can’t explain it, and you won’t believe me.” She wasn’t even sure how to explain it. Not without sounding completely insane. They didn’t have a lot of time for her to try, something Han seemed to understand.

They’d have time for explanations and tearful reunions later, now that they’d gotten half of what they came there for, they needed to get a move on. Their help was needed, and they couldn’t stay standing there like a band of lost fools when the place inevitably became swarmed.

“Hey, escape now, hug later.” He reminded them, gesturing with his head to their exit. They had a job to do. Rey and Finn nodded.

“What’s the plan?” Rey asked as they started moving again, Finn sticking close by as they made their way for the closest exit. He had the presence of mind to remove his borrowed jacket and give it to her, they’d have a bit of a trek through the cold ahead of them and Rey’s desert clothes would hardly protect her against the frigid temperature outside.

“The ship’s on the other side of the forest. We’ve taken down their shields and the Resistance is here to do the rest. We need to get out of here, because as soon as they blow the oscillator, this whole place is going to go.”

Rey’s eyes widened as she took the offered jacket, putting a bit more into her steps. The Resistance’s strategy sounded daring, though she wasn’t quite sure as to the reasoning behind it. What was this place?

Han hoped that the ship remained untouched, they had another gun on them but they weren’t equipped to deal with much. The numbers of this place were too great to assume that the majority of their forces would be focused on the Resistance attack, and not downed freighters in the middle of the snow. The luck they would need to get out of this in one piece was astronomical. But when wasn’t it?

On the outside, however, the fight wasn’t looking too good for the Resistance. The First Order’s counter strike outnumbered them all. TIEs wailed all around the squad as they tried and tried to fight back and do what they needed. The entire galaxy was counting on them. Yet more and more of them kept dropping like flies, until only half of their numbers remained.

Han, Chewie, Finn, and Rey were met with this grim sight as they exited the base, eyes wide with alarm as they took in the downhill battle in the skies above. Things weren’t looking too good for them, but after a moment of uncertainty, determination set in for the four heroes.

They couldn’t leave, not yet. All four of them turned to each other, a silent understanding passing between them.

“They’re in trouble. My friend here has a bag of explosives,” Han said after that brief moment, nodding to Chewie, who gave a roaring confirmation as he hefted the bag higher onto his shoulder. He had an idea, a dangerous one, but this situation called for a little risk on their part. Turning to Finn, he continued. “Let’s use ‘em.”

Rey and Finn shared a look, before nodding. Turning back to Han, Rey adjusted her hold on the stolen rifle in her hands.

“What do you have in mind?”

---

The sand dropped steadily down the hourglass with each passing second, growing closer and closer to empty as their time came in shorter supply. They had to move quickly to give the rebel fighters above a chance, to give the Resistance and the rest of the galaxy a chance. Inside the oscillator structure was dark, and growing steadily more so as the Sun drained to near empty.

The group spotted a maintenance hatch being approached by some Stormtroopers, which Han and Chewie took care of in quick succession. Rey was just as quick to make for the hatch, like she had earlier when she’d escaped her prison. Opening a service panel, Rey reached in, straining to reach as far as she needed within the mechanics of it with a strained grunt before she closed her hand around something — and gave a firm yank.

A mechanical sound cut through the air before the maintenance hatch opened, Rey dropped the piece she’d pulled from the wall and climbed down back onto the snowy ground. Dusting off her clothes, she and Finn kept watch while Han and Chewie moved inside.

“Girl knows her stuff.” Han appraised in a gruff voice. Impressed. Chewie gave a growl of agreement, and the two moved on quickly from there. The other two remained outside to keep watch, while Han and Chewie did what they needed to on the inside. Once they were in, Chewie pulled the bag off of his shoulder and they began dividing the explosives among them.

Han looked around as they divided them, the beginnings of a plan formulating in his mind. “Alright, we’ll set the charges at every other column.”

Before he could leave to start on one side of the structure, Chewie’s hushed groans made him reconsider his plan as he looked around once more, this time at both levels of the structure as his friend pointed out. After a moment, he nodded with a huff. “Yeah, okay. That’s a better idea. You’ll take the top, I’ll take the bottom. We’ll meet back here when we’re finished.” Checking his detonator, Han secured his portion of the charges before giving his friend a parting look. “Be careful, and be quick.”

Chewie gave him a look, and with a parting quip telling him that he needs to be the one to be careful, the two went in opposite directions to get started with placing the charges.

---

Heavy footfalls announce the arrival of a shadow, the rising levels of quintessence bearing down on him, sending an unpleasant shiver down his spine that he ignored as he entered the structure. Stormtroopers stood at attention as he approached and passed, Kylo came to a stop at a rail that overlooked the center of the structure. Gloved hands curling around the steel bar as he waited, listened.

He’d already been making his way there when he got the call from the command center with Hux’s demands that he oversee the defenses of the oscillator. They both knew the aerial strike likely wouldn’t be all there was if the Resistance was targeting it. The troops had cleared the main area of the base, and no one had been spotted leaving in the direction of the crashed ship nor arriving at its location. The girl and the group that came in on the Millennium Falcon were still out there. This was their next likely location.

His head tilted, there was something dancing along the edge of his senses. Something… familiar. Kylo waited for a moment, before turning to the troopers behind him as he gestured to the levels above them.

“Find them.”

The order was sharp and final, and quick to be carried out. Kylo turned back to the dark, gaping center of the oscillator as he listened again while they rushed past him. There was something all around them, something familiar. Something pulling him down below, he followed it despite a whisper in the back of his mind telling him not to.

Kylo knew this feeling, this presence. They were here, he was here. The structure shook from the aerial battle up above, the rebels persisted, something that could be considered admirable if it wasn’t so foolish. Echoing off of the walls and down the bottomless pit were the Stormtroopers footsteps as they climbed to search for their intruders, filling the otherwise still and cold silence.

Han kept going lower and lower as he placed the charges, wanting to be thorough without going too far down that getting back became a challenge. He’d just finished setting one of his last charges and was about to move on to another when he heard something. Stopping, he quickly moved to conceal himself behind a large vertical support. Completely hidden behind it from physical view, but there was nothing to hide his presence from the one who’d found him.

He was getting close. He could feel it. That feeling only grew stronger as Kylo got closer and closer to where Han was hiding. His mouth thinned further with each step as this feeling became more prominent. Dark eyes scanned the area around him as his senses stretched out, but the source of this feeling was nowhere to be seen.

Curious, but cautious, Han carefully glanced around the structure he’d hidden himself behind to see who it was that was approaching. It couldn’t be Chewie or one of the kids, but it lacked the extra noise that came with a Stormtrooper — be it the clink of armor or multiple troopers. He froze, heart skipping a beat when he saw who it was.

Han watched as his son got closer, and he wished so desperately that he could see his face — see that he was alright, physically at least, and so that he could see the face of his son and not the weapon Snoke forced him to be. His promise to Leia rang loudly in his head as Ben got closer, urging him to move forward and bring their boy home, but he couldn’t move. His feet felt frozen to the floor, and all he could do was watch.

There was nothing to see, no one to confront. Kylo knew he was close, practically on top of his father, and Snoke’s order was all but shouting in his head and shattering what little peace he had left. This was his moment, if he wanted to finally free himself and ascend this was the time to do so. It’d be easy, Han might not be immediately visible but he was still there , he could seek him out and end this…

But instead of following that feeling, instead of following his master’s command, Kylo turned and started down the bridge that stretched across the gap towards the other side of the oscillator. Away from his father’s presence. He walked on in silence but in his mind he was screaming at himself for his weakness. Kylo tried to rationalize with the angry voice by reminding himself that the most important thing right now was stopping the rebel attack so they could be clear and free to eradicate the Resistance at their source. 

He could focus on that other thing later, if Han survived. If he survived.

Han slumped when his son turned down another path and walked away from him, silently cursing himself for not doing anything. It felt like it was too late now, with Ben there… with Kylo Ren there, there were sure to be others near. He had to check on Chewie, on the kids. Had to warn them that their time was up. They needed to go …

But he still couldn’t move. He couldn’t leave here without his boy. He had to at least try . Han was not going back otherwise. He owed it to Leia… he owed it to their son. Taking a deep breath, Han’s determination returned with a fierceness unlike anything else as he stepped out from behind the structure, increasing his pace when he realized just how far Ben had gotten.

There was the risk that there could be troopers waiting along the edges of the catwalks above that could take him out before he got his chance, but Han didn’t care. Once he’d gotten to the mouth of the bridge, Han stopped with his focus entirely on the retreating black figure. This was it, before he got away from him, from them, once more. He couldn’t let him slip from his fingers again. 

Now .

“BEN!”

That name , that voice, it echoed around him almost deafeningly. Kylo found himself coming to a sudden halt before he’d even registered it. A pregnant pause followed in which Kylo felt the world suspend around him. After a moment, with stiff movements he turned and found him standing there. A tall figure, so out of place in this base. Barely recognizable from the distance, but there was no denying it as a trick of the mind.

“Han Solo.” Even without the modulator of his mask, his tone was flat and indecipherable. His heart thudding so strongly, he feared it could be heard echoing around them. “I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time.”

This was it . Father and son both thought, for different reasons. Without hesitation, Han started across the bridge towards his son. Towards Ben . Kylo remained where he’d stopped, watching this man, this foolish, foolish man get closer to his death. In truth, though the distance between them wasn’t that great, it felt like an eternity had passed before it shrank. This was the closest either man had been to the other in so long, a shared thought that passed between them both.

Above them, the others had begun to gather after Han’s shout had drawn their attention. Chewie was concerned for his friend when he’d heard his voice calling out his son’s name, the Wookiee knew that could only mean one thing. He knew that this could happen while they were there, but he also knew that Han’s feelings would leave him vulnerable. As much as he wanted the boy that had once called him Uncle Chewie back home as well, he had to think of Han’s safety.

Rey and Finn, on the other hand, were confused and equally concerned when they heard Han’s shout. They didn’t know what could’ve gotten into the older man, or who he was shouting to. Alarm passed between the two when they realized who Han was approaching, however, but neither could find it within themselves to warn him away. They were too caught up in their surprise and their fear at seeing the smuggler approach Kylo Ren without care. Forcing to watch in silence as he got nearer to the dangerous man.

The sun was still shining outside, but just barely. What could’ve been mistaken for dusk if one didn’t know what was going on had begun to settle over the planet. A beam of light shined down on the pair through an opening, haloed around Han and passed over the masked man in waves. After several long, drawn out moments, the distance between them was nothing more than a half dozen feet. Both men stared at each other in silence before making their next move.

“Take off that mask, you don’t need it.” Han said finally, his voice firm and unwavering.

Kylo’s features were pinched beneath the mask, hands curled into fists by his sides. “What are you afraid you’ll see if I do?” He asked, tauntingly. At least he tried, but the modulator didn’t pick up his uncertainty.

The face of a monster, the face of a murderer, the face of a disgrace. There were many things used to describe him that would fit in this moment. He’d often wondered what they might’ve thought of who he’d become, so certain that they would agree with everything else said about him.

Han had other ideas, and he’d never cared about what others believed he should think. This was his son , nothing would ever change that. It was time he started reminding himself that, and maybe Ben would believe it too. “The face of my son.” There was no doubt, no uncertainty in his voice as he said it. As he did, they were finally close enough to almost reach each other if they tried. And Han very much wanted to.

His bravery was something else, his answer expected. Kylo never thought they’d outright admit it, but what did surprise him was how his feelings seemed to back his statement. Against his better judgment, Kylo decided to test him further. His hands rose and fingers reached for the clasps under his ‘ears’, the release giving with a hiss before the mask came off. It dropped to his feet with a heavy thud as he let it fall from his fingers. The monster revealed.

Han jolted, not from the sound but because he hadn’t expected Ben to actually do it and this was the first time he was seeing his son as a man . He’d grown, of course he had. It was to be expected, he’d still been in his growing years when he last saw him. His hair was the same, those raven waves he’d had since birth and had fascinated his parents. His skin was paler though, and taunt, like he wasn’t getting enough nutrients or sunlight. He’d always been a pale child, but this was different. Unhealthy even. There were bags under his eyes, heavy, like his sleep was just as plagued as his waking moments. If he’d had just as much trouble, if not more so, as he’d had with his dreams when he was a boy. His eyes… they that same, deep rich brown, but the look he found in them… It wasn’t anything he’d seen in his son before.

His heart lurched at all the time lost and all the suffering his son has had to go through all these years. Han wished more than anything that he could take his pain for him, that he’d done more to prevent this .

Kylo felt himself waver, but he couldn’t allow it to fester. His expression hardened as venom entered his voice. “Your son? He’s gone. He was weak and foolish, like his father. So I killed him.” He’s gone, he’s dead, he means nothing. You mean nothing. She means nothing.

Han was shaken out of it by the sharp response, redoubling his determination as he took another step towards his son. “That’s what Snoke wants you to believe, Ben. It’s not true, my son is alive. And he’s standing right in front of me.”

Kylo’s nostrils flared with a spike of anger — anger he told himself was at the slight to Snoke rather than the reminder that he hadn’t eradicated everything. Kylo was certain Han didn’t realize how close he came to the truth. “No, the Supreme Leader is wise .” He countered. Snoke was wise, and he needed to call upon his guidance and training now to get through this.

Above them, Stormtroopers came out on various levels to dot the perimeter. Blasters trained on the intruders, they waited for them to make the first move or for their commander below to give the order.

Han felt anger towards the man that had poisoned his son’s mind, doubt began to creep up on him as he wondered if he could get Ben to break away from Snoke’s control. Even if it was just long enough to get him out of there. He needed Leia, she would know how to handle this better than him, and Ben had always been more responsive to her. But she wasn’t, and his son needed him right now. 

“Snoke is using you for your power, once he gets what he wants, he won’t need you anymore. He’ll crush you, you know it’s true.” Han responded sternly, taking another step closer to his son. He stopped when Ben took a step back away from him, and he let go of his anger. A soft, sad look crossing weathered features as he looked upon his lost, hurting child.

Kylo hesitated, and he hated how he hesitated, some of his fight leaving him as his father’s words rang loudly in his mind. Deep down, he did know this. It was a dark truth he’d fought to ignore for a long time, telling himself that if he’d just be better then it wouldn’t be a problem.

Even if it was true, could anything be done? Could the inevitable be stopped? He wasn’t sure.

“It’s too late.” His voice was quieter, with a resignation to it that was like a punch to Han’s gut when he realized just how deeply his son believed that about him.

“No, it’s not.” Once upon a time, he’d thought that there was a point where there was no turning back. Then Luke had done the impossible and turned Vader back into Anakin. Brought the man that had killed and tormented and tortured so many, including himself, back to the light. Han hadn’t fully appreciated what that meant until now, after he’d lost his son to that same darkness. 

If it hadn’t been too late for Anakin, he knew it’d never be too late for Ben. They had to have hope, that’s what Leia was trying to tell him. “Leave here with me. Come home. We miss you, your mom and I.” He responded truthfully. They could handle everything else later, together, but right now, the only thing that mattered was getting their son home .

Kylo couldn’t stop his conflict from coming to the surface as Han said the words out loud. Home . Part of him wanted to laugh, but for the large part he was stunned. In all the various scenarios of this, he never really expected the offer to be made. He couldn’t take it, but the longing was there and hard to ignore. It brought tears to stoic eyes as he wrestled with the light and dark as the war raged on to a new level in the presence of his father and the opportunity to go home.

He’d known, for a long time, that there would come a day where he’d have to make a choice. When he’d started down this path, he knew it would eventually converge with his past and present him with a challenge that would define his future, his destiny, forever. That moment was upon him now. Years had been spent preparing for this, and though Kylo knew that it could be difficult, he’d told himself he was prepared for whenever it did come.

Now, standing there in that moment, looking into the eyes of his father as they pleaded with him to come home, he realized something devastating:

He was never prepared.

The Light’s pull was more powerful than he’d ever expected. He knew what he had to do, but whether or not he could do it… Kylo wasn’t sure.

He needed to act, now , before all was lost.

“I’m being torn apart, I want to be free of this pain.” His voice shook slightly, and instinctively Han took a step closer to his son before stopping himself at the barely concealed flinch it provoked. Han’s heart ached as all he could do was stand there like a fool.

Kylo swallowed thickly as a heavy pause stretched between them, hoping the moment would steady his voice. It did, but it couldn’t hide the pained vulnerability that bled into it. “I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.” His hands unclenched by his sides, fingers sweating under the leather as he took a steadying breath. “Will you help me?”

No father ever wanted to hear their child in such pain, all Han had ever wanted to do was protect his boy and he’d failed . When his son spoke again, it brought him back to the moment, and Han instantly nodded and took a step closer. “Yes, anything.” He would move mountains for his son, he’d do anything for him, he hadn’t done a great job of conveying that over the years but this was his moment to make up for it.

Kylo almost sighed in relief. He gives himself a moment to breathe before reaching for his belt, unhooking the lightsaber at his hip from its holster. He held it in both hands, studying the blackened metal and letting its weight rest in his palms, before slowly extending his arms forward. Offering it to him.

Han looked down at the weapon, vaguely recognizing the design. He’d been there, sometime after Ben had first made his lightsaber at Luke’s Jedi school. It had been silver with a single emitter, with the same gold accents as he sees now. The blade had been blue, steady and strong, and he’d been so proud. So proud of this monumental achievement and his son’s craftiness. He may not have seen many lightsabers, just Luke’s and Leia’s, but Ben’s had been beautifully designed and reminded him strongly of his mother’s, from the brief time he’d seen the rose gold hilt. And it was entirely his son.

Now, it was twisted, altered, forced into something that strayed away from the beauty and light it’d held before. Turned into something it wasn’t meant to be. Just like Ben.

Han reached for it without a hint of hesitation, the metal was cool under his fingers as he curled his hand around the center of the hilt. For a moment, the lightsaber remained held in their hands between them, uncertainty hanging in the air with it. Han gave his son a reassuring smile, accepting any outcome that followed as Ben’s face became unreadable.

This was it. Solo had left himself open and now was his chance. The struggle within him rose to new heights as he hesitated to carry out what needed to be done. For a moment, no one breathed. Rey, Finn, and Chewie, mostly unaware of what was going on as they’d strained and failed to catch most of the conversation, feared for Han’s safety the moment they saw Kylo Ren reach for his belt. No one had a clear shot, so all they could do was sit in anticipation. Chewie, who knew a bit more than the pair beside him, waited to see what would happen, hoping for Han’s sake as well as Ben’s that this day didn’t end on a bad note.

In the opening above, the last of the dying light flashed brightly before disappearing entirely. It was done, the weapon was now fully charged. The end was almost near. Kylo’s jaw clenched as he grappled with his resolve in the dying star’s final display, but as the light flashed across his face, something changed. The Force grew heavy and demanding around him, before it felt like the ground gave away beneath him. A sensation he knew, but had been so long since its last encounter he almost couldn’t place, washing over him as the Force opened his mind to something it thought he needed to see.

They stood there, waiting, waiting to see what Kylo would do. Their fates were entirely dependent on him now. For a moment, there was nothing. Then, a swell of darkness that overpowered that damned call to the light. It consumed him, his rage flared with it and he didn’t think, he just did. Following his instincts as the darkness pulled him into its cold embrace, his finger twitched.

A fierce roar broke the silence with a suddenness that startled everyone, surprise and pain flashing across Han’s face as an unstable red beam exploded to life and pierced his chest and jutted out his back. Above them, he could hear voices. The wailing of a Wookiee and the mournful screaming of a girl.

The vision shifted, and suddenly he wasn’t standing there with Han, but watching in horror from above. Looking down at the scene through another’s eyes, familiar in a way he couldn’t place. The terrified, grief-filled screams were coming from his throat, tearing it to shreds. His hopes that he might’ve found a place to belong, a family , obliterated by a flash of red.

He could feel his spirit crack as he was transported back to his body and stared into the face of his dying father, what felt like an eternity in that strange event was only a few seconds in reality, shock and pain and sadness in those hazel eyes — but no anger, no blame. No hatred. There was love, so much of it. It sickened him, it strangled him, his hands tightened around the hilt of his lightsaber as he let himself fall into the darkness to try to escape the pain.

“Thank you.”

Han said nothing, he didn’t have the strength to say anything. Kylo could feel the life slipping from him rapidly. It faded from his eyes from one second to the next, but still the man mustered enough energy to bring a hand up to cradle the side of his son’s face. His murderer’s face. There was forgiveness there, and then there was nothing. Nothing but an empty shell that was once a man, a corpse that slowly dropped from the bridge and disappeared into the depths below.

From a far off corner of the galaxy, he could sense the grief and utter devastation of his mother as they both felt Han’s presence disappear from the Force. Forever. Realization came crashing down on him as he gasped. He was left there, alone, drowning in the darkness that claimed him and his father in one fateful move.

He’d done it. There was no elation, no ascension. Only regret.

His voice was gone, but in his mind he screamed .

Kylo gasped quietly as the vision ended, horror and fear freezing the blood in his veins. For a moment, he feared that he’d actually carried it out and expected to see nothing but darkness ahead of him. But Han was still there, he was still there and alive, holding his lightsaber with a concerned and wary expression as the silence stretched on and his son began to tremble.

“...Ben?” Han asked quietly, his hold on the lightsaber tightening as he tried to decipher what was going on in his boy’s head. He’d tried tugging the lightsaber out of Ben’s hands, but his son had a deathgrip on it that had started to concern him. Then when that far-away look entered his eyes, Han had stopped to see what would happen next. To see if he could catch a glimpse at what pulled his son away from this moment.

Kylo could only stare, a fresh, foreign wave of tears suddenly burning his eyes. He couldn’t stop it. The number of heads turned to them, eyes watching and waiting for his next move went ignored as Kylo anguished in his newfound realization.

He couldn’t do it.

Han blinked in surprise as the full weight of his son’s lightsaber was transferred to him, it was heavier than he expected, but that wasn’t what surprised him. What surprised him was that it actually happened . He watched his son’s face as what little remaining color drained from it and his arms as they hovered in place before slowly falling to his sides. He didn’t need some mystical connection to the universe to feel the surprise of the entire room.

The only one who wasn’t surprised was Kylo, who was too close to completely shutting down to really care about the fact that he just did that . His vision was blinded by the tears that never fell as father and son stood there in silence, no one seemed to know how to react right away.

It was the roaring wail of a X-Wing being chased by a TIE flying past nearby outside that finally broke the revere. One brave Stormtrooper acted on instinct as he turned his rifle onto the bridge and fired.

A pained yelp forced everyone else into action as Kylo doubled over, one hand clasping his hip where the bolt had struck him. Han’s eyes widened and he grabbed his son’s arm with his free hand and yanked him forward, leading him back the way they came, towards the others and towards their dwindling chance at freedom. Chewie fired back at the Stormtrooper that shot Ben and the others turned their weapons onto them next, their comrade's actions shaking them from their stunned standstill. Chewie, as well as Finn and Rey who snapped out of it soon after, provided the cover Han and Kylo needed to get off the bridge where they were vulnerable.

Kylo could do nothing but let himself be led away. If he hadn’t been unbalanced before, what he saw and what he did was definitely making the ground beneath him crumble and shake violently. Light and dark screamed as the reality of what happened settled within the Force. It was maddening . For a moment, however, the Light shined brighter than it had in years, providing him with a bit of clarity. Enough to keep him going. He got his footing back under him quickly so he wasn’t being all but dragged across the bridge, the wound at his side going ignored in favor of getting out alive.

Han shoved the lightsaber into his jacket so he could free himself to grab his blaster and fire at a trooper above them as they got off the bridge, keeping his other hand on his son. Concerned for his well-being and afraid he’d change his mind and run off at the same time. Finn and Rey broke out of their stunned hesitance to lay down cover for the two as well as they started the climb. More Stormtroopers were called for as they began their retreat, Kylo Ren’s betrayal would soon send shockwaves throughout the First Order.

Chewie waited until Han and Ben were close enough before relenting and giving up his position to make his retreat. He called for Finn and Rey to start back for the Falcon before reaching to his belt for the detonator. He was pushed back more, but the Wookiee didn’t give them time to take anymore ground before pressing the detonator and bolting.

One, two, six explosions rocked the structure and sent a few Stormtroopers falling to their deaths. The group of now five cleared out of the place before the catwalks on their end could come crumbling down and send them spiraling towards a similar fate.

Back on the bridge, the mask of Kylo Ren watched this all unfold before it rolled. Tumbling off and disappearing into the depths below.

Excitement buzzed throughout the Resistance as a new reading came to them. Admiral Ackbar’s hope was restored as he spoke up. “Their oscillator’s been damaged, but is still functional.”

“Their weapon will be ready to fire in two minutes.”

Leia listened to all of this in silence, but wasn’t really hearing them. Something else had happened, something that gave her hope. Her eyes moved to her commlink as she dared to wait for word from her husband to confirm this feeling.

Kylo’s breath sawed through his chest as they came out into the cold, snow blowing around them and biting into the fresh wound at his hip. His eyes were wild as he looked around, surprised when the girl and the defector soon came to join them with the Wookiee.

Rey and Finn were equally as stunned, and more than a little wary. The concern Han showed for Ren confused them as well. Han’s focus became his son as he tried to get him to let him look at his wound, but Kylo was unrelenting in his refusal. He didn’t want to be touched. Didn’t want to be fretted over. Didn’t want the pain to stop. It was just as much of a reminder that this was real as it was something else for him to focus on. It was Chewie that became the voice of reason to get them moving. The Wookiee’s growls a mixture of urgency and understanding as he placed a furry hand on Han’s shoulder.

Han shook his head. Chewie was right. They needed to leave, nothing he could do now would matter if they didn’t get off this planet soon. Gesturing in the direction the ship was in, Han placed a gentle hand on his son’s back. “C’mon, Falcon’s this way. There’s nothing more we can do here, we need to get you medical attention.”

Finn wanted to protest. Why they were bringing Ren was beyond him, but he held his tongue. Whatever happened down there, he knew Ren was now just as much of a traitor as him and would face far more backlash for it. He couldn’t imagine why he’d do it, perhaps one day they’d find out, but for now they needed to move.

Kylo’s head was spinning as the snow bit into his unprotected face, darkness settled over the land like a thick blanket. The weapon was ready and his betrayal would perhaps soon mean nothing, but as more explosions rocked the ground around them, fire blazing behind them as the Resistance fighters found their opportunity they’d been looking for and took it , another force nearly sent him to his knees. A gasp leaving him as water filled his ears and lightning crawled up his spine. He couldn’t hear his father’s alarm, only the rage that shot across the Force. Rage directed at him .

Snoke knew.

To even attempt to recover from this and go back would mean his certain death. There would be no forgiveness this time.

Rough hands shook his shoulders, Kylo hadn’t realized he’d stopped until then. Dark, wild eyes looked up at his father, and then Chewbacca beside him, before he tried to compose himself. “I’m fine, we need to leave.” He bit out, moving to push past them and keep going where he knew the ship to be.

He’d never thought he’d return back to it, never thought it’d turn out to be his refuge once again. Yet here they were. Right now, it was his best shot at living another day after this. Even if it was just one more sunrise.

Han shared a look with Chewbacca before following after his son. They’d have time to check him over after they’d left the now doomed planet. The ground trembled ominously beneath them, trees swaying and groaning as the planet entered its dying moments now that the oscillator has been destroyed. The backlash from the amount of energy that had been built up that was now released with abandon would be devastating. Alarms could be heard from the base behind them, growing fainter with each step, as the call to evacuate was made.

The end of their journey became a bit harrowing as the planet quite literally started tearing itself apart. The fierce cold, white hot pain, and firm hand on his back was a constant reminder that what was happening was still real . Kylo hadn’t even realized that they’d finally made it to the ship until Han was gently but firmly pushing him down into a seat. 

The ship shook as the ground became unstable, gloved hands gripping harshly to the table in front of him — he vaguely recognized it as the holochess table — as they waited with bated breath to see if they would make it. He didn’t know nor care where the others were, if he was alone or not, he wouldn’t have noticed either way. The other two had gone off to a different part of the ship, to put some distance between them and him until they could figure out what was going on. 

The crumbling world around them reflected the chaos that was currently undoing the Force user from the inside out. Kylo was alone as the ship lifted off, alone as the world collapsed in on itself behind them, alone as they broke through the atmosphere and made the jump to lightspeed. He was alone, but not completely. The voices in his head screaming at him wouldn’t leave him to find peace. Telling him he was wrong, a traitor, weak , unworthy. No Vader . The table creaked under his hold, so hard his knuckles were as white as snow under his gloves.

He’d failed. He’d failed his grandfather, failed his mission. Failed to shut out the Light. It had won.

His head dropped to his hands and fell on top of the table with a heavy thud, fingers digging harshly into his hair as a tremble went through him. Leather palms slick from the tears as the overwhelming mess of emotions further unbalanced him. The full weight of his actions came crashing down on him in an instant, pulling an enraged cry from deep within the dark sider’s throat.

“ Fuck —!"

Chapter Text

As soon as the ship stopped shaking and there was nothing but open space in front of them, Han sent them into lightspeed with less care than he should’ve. The First Order ships seemed more concerned with getting their own people off the dying world than picking off the rebels that caused its destruction, but Han wasn’t going to take any chances. Not with his son on board, hurt physically and possibly emotionally if he’d had to guess. Not when he finally had him back, there on the Falcon where he belonged, after years of missing him and wondering if they’d ever see their boy again. Fearing that the next time they talked about him would be after his death.

A small voice in the back of his mind reminded him that it wasn’t over yet. Ben might be there physically with him again, but that didn’t mean that they were out of the woods. Too much had happened for him to let himself be deluded by his own hope. This was only the first step on a very long journey to coming home. A journey Ben wouldn’t have to make alone. No. For as long as Han was alive, his son wouldn’t have to go at it alone. Never again.

Neither captain or co-pilot relaxed until they were in hyperspace for a decent amount of time. Afraid that the sensors would go off with danger hot on their tail. Once they received word from the Resistance that all their fighters had pulled out and were heading back to base, that their mission was, indeed, a success did they finally breathe . Han slumped back in his seat with a heavy sigh.

Chewie warbled something next to him that took him a moment to understand through his heart racing in his ears, and Han looked up at his friend before nodding. “I’ll call Leia in a bit, let her know. Don’t know how she’ll want to go about this with her people, but I’ll leave that up to her… Ben needs medical attention first. See if there’s a medkit left and bring it to the rec, if not grab whatever you can find that you think’ll help. And check on the other kids after, would you?”

There was nothing planned for after this, the only thing they’d wanted was to bring their son home. That was all that mattered. They could handle the rest together, later. Ben had vital intel, and would be a valuable asset. Han knew that would be Leia’s thinking, but he also knew that the decisions Ben made wouldn’t make him a welcomed sight on a Resistance base regardless. He’d have to face the consequences of his actions eventually, but for the moment, Ben needed to heal. If all else failed, if things got too dicey, Han could take him and disappear for a bit.

They had time before they needed to worry about all that, they were taking the long route back to the Resistance just to play it safe. Which meant there would be plenty of time to worry about other things, like Ben’s mental state and the seriousness of his injuries. As well as dealing with whatever questions, and Han knew there wasn’t a chance in Hoth those two wouldn’t have questions, Finn and Rey had for him about this recent change of events.

With their course set another nothing to do but wait, Han left the cockpit and set down one of the curved hallways. For some reason, this felt more nerve wracking than walking across the bridge. Maybe it was because he was still waiting to wake up. Find himself back in some dump of an inn and Chewie pounding on his door telling him to get a move on. Because it felt like a dream. A recurring dream he’d had over the last several years. Each time it came to him it was a little different, so it didn’t seem out of the ordinary to assume this was another one of those dreams. Even if the ache in his old bones from all the excitement felt a little too real, even if the weight on his shoulders felt a little lighter, he was hesitant to allow reality to set in. In case reality cruelly decided to step in at the last moment and drop a bucket of ice water over his head to wake him up.

Which is what Han was expecting to happen when he entered the room he’d left Ben in, only instead of finding it empty, he was met with a familiar mop of raven hair settled on top of the hologame table.

Instead of ice, Han felt a grand swell of relief. Ben really was there, and not as some figment of an old fool’s mind. He allowed himself a moment of this relief before he reminded himself not to celebrate in full yet. Hazel eyes drifted over what little of his son he could see, how much of his giant frame the table was able to shield was impressive, though by looking at him, Han could tell that Ben had drawn in on himself. Like he had so often when he was younger and tried to make himself small and invisible. Something that became harder to do when that growth spurt hit him like a star-liner. Grayed out brows furrowed tightly together when he saw the line of blood dripping down from the seat.

“Ben?” Han called out softly with concern, a little bit of relief returning when the young man jolted and lifted his head. So he was conscious, and in this lighting he could see how pale he really was. How much of that was from the blood loss and how much of it was from shielding his face constantly, Han wasn’t sure, but he didn’t like the lack of color he saw regardless.

Han grabbed a nearby rag, a little grease stained from years of use, but it was clean enough, and crossed the distance between them again. He slowed his gait to a more cautious pace when Ben shied away from him again, like he had on the bridge, but he kept going until he was practically right on top of him. “C’mon kid, let me see it.”

Kylo hadn’t bothered lifting his head back up once all the frustration and anger left his body, as much as it ever could when the darkness kept the flames going just enough to simmer below the surface. He didn’t want to look around him and see his failure etched into every crevice. That didn’t stop the way the familiar smells bombarded him, the sounds the freighter always made when she jumped and soared through hyperspace. It was once a comfort to him, and now there was a confusing mix of coming home and being stabbed in the gut.

The thought sent his mind hurtling back into the vision he’d had on the bridge, of himself plunging the crackling blade of his lightsaber into his father. Watching the light fade from his eyes and his body fall limply into the blazing red abyss below. Bile rose up into his throat before he could control his emotions. As much as he tried to tell himself otherwise, it never would have worked. Kylo knew, just from the way vision-him had felt during and after it, that killing his father would’ve done nothing but split him further. What other options had that left him with?

One that would seal his death far quicker than the battlefield could've.

He knew where they were heading, only a fool would assume they were going anywhere else but to her . Her and her Resistance. The heart of Snoke’s ire, though he, in one swift movement, had joined those ranks today. If they didn’t kill him, he would. Would she allow it? Would she make an example of him? No. Kylo didn’t think she would. That left exposure. Revealing the truth about the connection between him and her. A risk to her reputation that had already crumbled after the truth of her parentage was revealed. Kylo could still recall the shockwaves that went out throughout the galaxy. At twenty-two and strife with confusion and uncertainty, his own world had turned upside down with that revelation. At forty-six, her promising career had tanked faster than a podracer. With her resources and allies dwindling, that was a hit she couldn’t chance taking again.

But she would. To prove some point to him or herself, or because there would be no other choice, Kylo wasn’t sure. She’d been ashamed of Vader, with him dead it was easy to pretend, but she had sent Solo out to him personally. Kylo knew Solo didn’t have the spine to infiltrate the First Order of his own volition. He’d move mountains for her , however. It’d be an almost laughable decision to ignore their connection after something like that.

If he weren’t absolutely dreading the confrontation, Kylo would be looking forward to seeing the rebel faces when they realize their beloved Princess had borne a monster.

So lost in his thoughts about what was to come, Kylo missed the thudding footsteps echoing off of the steel walls. No one was ever able to be silent aboard the Falcon, so it startled him when a voice shattered his bitter thoughts. It felt like a weight had settled across his shoulders, but still he lifted his head to see where the smuggler had come from. Briefly, he remembered how he must look, drawn into himself and disheveled, and Kylo sat up with a sharp wince as the movement jostled his wound. Weary eyes never left the older man, body tensing as he got close enough to touch. When he spoke, Kylo couldn’t even pretend to not understand what he meant. The persistent throbbing in his side wouldn’t let him forget.

Kylo’s mouth pursed as he shook his head, hand curled protectively against his side. “It’s just a scratch, I don’t need any help.” I don’t need your help , he wanted to say.

Han seemed to understand, but after a moment, he decided that today was not going to be the day for that. “Just a scratch, my ass.” He muttered, taking a seat with a sigh. He left enough distance to hopefully not crowd the young man, while still being close enough to help. “Chewie’s lookin’ for a medkit, wanna let me see the damage before I let him take over?”

Kylo made a face that told Han that he still remembered how willing the Wookiee was to manhandle any one of them into submission when they were too stubborn about their own health. Han had been wrestled into a medbay on more than one occasion, even Luke had found himself thrown over the Wookiee’s shoulder and hauled off to a medic once or twice. With a sigh that was more like a growl, Kylo nodded stiffly and removed his hand, which was now sticky with blood.

Han nodded once and said nothing else. There was a lot that needed to be said between them, but now wasn’t the time. Even if it was, nothing came to him. To keep his mind off of it, he let his hands go to work. Han wasn’t sure how many damn layers the kid stuffed himself into, but he managed to get past every one while inspecting the new hole in his son’s body. It wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, either those blasters didn’t pack as much fire power, or they had been a fair enough distance away to soften the blow.

“Well, it doesn’t look like it hit anything vital. Not sure what Chewie’s managed to scrounge up, if there was anything left, but we can make do until we get to a proper medical center.” A quick bandage should do the trick until they reached a base with an actual medical setup, but Han was hoping there was at least a little viable bacta left.

Kylo hissed as the other prodded and pressed a rag to the injury to stem the slow, but steady, bleeding. The wound hadn’t been completely cauterized, but he hadn’t cared enough to stop it himself. They both said nothing, the silence falling thick and uncomfortable around them as the seconds ticked on like hours.

If both the wound and situation weren’t so severe, Han could almost imagine this was like when the kid was younger, scraping his knees on every little thing. When Ben wasn’t squirreled away reading books or building his model ships, he was usually clambering up and over things to chase the boredom away and sate his curiosity. Leia had once told him that she had had a habit of running off into the forests around her home to climb trees rather than attend stuffy royal things. Han couldn’t blame her, and found it adorable that their son had gotten something like that from his mother.

Kylo wasn’t as interested in dwelling into the past. His eyes remained resolutely fixed on the table in front of him. He didn’t want to speak, he wouldn’t know what to say. Or what was expected of him to say. An apology? A question? An explanation? All of those and more would surely be demanded of him.

He wouldn’t know what to say when the time came, either.

After an eternity, the softer, but louder, footfalls of a Wookiee sounded from down the hall. The pads of his feet not as harsh to the metal floors as the others’ boots. Han was the only one to look up as Chewie entered the room, shoulders sagging slightly in relief when he saw the single medkit in his hands.

Even Chewie’s warning that it was only half full couldn’t bring down his slightly heightened mood. “Well, it’s better than nothing.” Han replied quietly, taking the kit in his free hand before turning to his son. “I’m gonna need you to keep the pressure while I see what we’re workin’ with here.”

At the first sign of protest, a grunt from the Wookiee stopped him in his tracks. With a huff, Kylo placed his hand where Solo’s had been at the same time the other pulled away. He held the rag with perhaps a bit more pressure than he should’ve used. The pain gave him focus, and focus was what he desperately needed right now.

Han dropped the kit onto the table once the hand-off was complete. Chewie was right in that there wasn’t much left. A bit of bacta that hadn’t gone out of date, some gauze, and some medical grade tape. He’d have preferred a wrap, but if there had been any in this kit it was long gone. Han turned to eye his son once he’d made a catalog of what they had. “Anything else that needs tending to?”

Reluctantly, Kylo finally turned to look at his father. He could lie, how would he know? Then again, it wasn’t a lie. There wasn’t anything Solo could do with his meager supplies, the injuries were either old or spiritual. Kylo shook his head after a moment. “No. And I don’t need you to coddle me, I can handle my own injuries.”

Han ignored the snappish tone and turned back to the kit with a satisfied grunt. He started with the bacta and looked up at his companion as he primed it. “How’re the others?”

Chewie shrugged and informed him that they were unharmed, but very confused and more than a little uncertain where they were hiding in the engine room. Han sighed, he was surprised it wasn’t worse, but he was glad to hear that they were alright. He’d seen the cleaned up version of that Dameron kid and worried if Rey had suffered similarly.

When Han reached back for his son’s side, a harsh growl as Kylo twisted away from him stopped him. “I said I can handle it.”

Chewie’s exasperated, and tinged with a warning, groan cut off as Han waved him off. He stared at his son for a moment, before relenting with a sigh. “Alright, alright. You handle this, but I’m stayin’ right here in case you need me.” He compromised after a moment, holding out the bacta. Ben said nothing, his scowl only deepened as he took the offered aid after a stubborn pause. 

So much like his mother, even with more anger present in that expression than he’d ever seen in Leia. The only time he’d ever seen her get close was whenever she spoke of what happened to her planet and her people. Leia never did angry. She got frustrated, disappointed, annoyed, but rarely angry. Or maybe she hid it better. Han wasn’t good at that himself. Sure, he could do it in a pinch when a deal required it, but he had always been more loose with his emotions than Leia or Luke. Luke, he could understand, he was certain the kid didn’t know how to hold a grudge or get upset, and maybe he could with Leia too. Leia’s Jedi training never lasted, but she was a politician and a princess. She had to learn how to deal with her emotions long before she ever held a lightsaber.

He’d always seen so much of her in their boy, and maybe that's why she’d always seemed to understand him better. It wasn’t just the Force and bond between mother and son, but the similarities they shared. Han wondered if Ben ever saw that in him as well.

With no other choice but to relent and let the old man stay, Kylo’s scowl never wavered as he started mending himself. He fought through the several layers he wore towards the injury with that scowl, and he started applying the spray to the entrance and exit wounds with that scowl. 

It was a clean shot, but the fire that flared up with each spray gave him something else to ground himself to. There was a bit of trouble reaching the exit wound, every which way he twisted to both reach it and hold his clothes out of the way didn’t agree with the injury, but he glared at Han whenever the smuggler tried to help him. Eventually he got it on his own, begrudgingly accepting the ready-made makeshift bandages the smuggler had created while his son struggled to patch himself up as they were handed to him.

“You know, this could’ve gone by a lot faster and easier if you’d just let me help.” Han stated. He wasn’t sure if the pang in his chest was from amusement or heartbreak. Perhaps a bit of both.

Kylo huffed in annoyance as he leaned against the edge of the table, too unsettled by the walls of the ship to really let himself relax. His body practically vibrated with it. “I’m not a child, I told you I don’t need coddling.”

Han’s responding smile was sad. No, he wasn’t a child anymore. Hadn't been for a long time, longer since he'd last seen him. Before the Incident. He could say it was just an old man reminiscing the best years of his life, raising his boy, that made him wish for the days past to come back, but knowing what he did now was the real reason. It was a simpler time, a time where they were still a family , and his boy wasn’t a million parsecs away from him, even when he was three feet away.

“Never said you were.” No need to burden his son with an old fool’s laments, not now. “However, something your mom always tried to hammer into my head was that it doesn’t hurt to ask for help. Can’t say it did much for me, but… learn from your parents’ mistakes, and all that.”

Kylo rolled his eyes, but it spoke to his waning control that he didn’t lay into the smuggler over all the ‘mistakes’ he made. Instead, he tried to end this little heart-to-heart Solo was attempting with a strained voice. “Must you hover? I’m sure you need to make your… report back. Wouldn’t want to keep the General waiting.”

It felt like he was being smothered, the walls pressing in on every side of him. His chest burned for oxygen as he could scarcely breathe. He wanted to be left alone, maybe then he could pretend this was another nightmare. Or at least prepare himself for the guillotine that would be waiting for him once word got back that Kylo Ren was inbound on one of their own ships.

Han opened his mouth to say something, but a voice that sounded suspiciously like his wife told him to give the other man some space. This was a very delicate situation, and stars only knew what his son was dealing with. What lasting damage from whatever Snoke could’ve done to him in the years he’d been away from them there might be. Han felt like he was at a loss, something that was achingly familiar when it came to anything involving the mystics and his son. Not for the first time, it left him feeling frustrated and useless.

How was he supposed to help his son now, when he couldn’t help him before?

Han shut his mouth and sighed. “Alright. Let Chewie or me know if you need anything. The comms on the old girl are a bit patchy, but they still work.” He would have to tell Finn and Rey to stay clear of this part of the ship, but he suspected they might do that of their own volition. He wouldn’t blame them, neither had had the best beginning with Ben.

With one last, helpless look, Han’s shoulders slumped as he climbed out of the booth. Old bones creaked as he did, but he powered through it as he made his way back up to the cockpit.

Han had no idea how he was going to help his son, but he did know one thing: he wasn’t going to be a bystander and let others try their hand at it in his stead. He would take his earlier doubts and shove them out an airlock, the Force be damned, he was going to try to wade his way through all the mystical bullshit. He may not be a Jedi, but Leia was right. He was Ben’s father. 

His words to Leia before all this rang in his head, and never again would he give up on his son. That was something he’d live with in shame for the rest of his life, but this time was going to be different , if Han had anything to say about it.

Kylo waited until he couldn’t hear the echo of Han’s footsteps against the dirty, worn walls anymore before releasing the breath he’d been holding. It came out shaking and in a rush as his head fell into his hands. The weight of his pounding skull was the only thing keeping them from shaking. Anger brimmed molten hot in his stomach, anger at himself and this whole situation, but there was a good bit of confusion in there too.

What this would mean for him, where he would go from here, it all was called into question, as was his earlier resolve. He had been so certain , so sure of the path he was on, no matter how much the Light tugged on his sleeves and whispered doubts into his ear. His training should have held. How could he have let this happen? How did it get to this point?

Kylo knew the answer, even if he still struggled to accept that it was more than just one, surprising moment. It had just been the straw to break the bantha’s back.

The vision he had on the bridge returned to the forefront of his mind as he contemplated how he ended up in this situation. It still sent ice traveling down his spine to think about, and it was like he was reliving it once again. Reliving the familiar sound of plasma slicing through muscle and bone like it was nothing, the familiar feeling of a life fading before him, because of him. Kylo had learned to push past the way it affected him in the beginning until it was nothing at all, but that time, that time it was different. So different . The magnitude of the act far greater than anything he’d done before. It was the turning point for him. And the surprised, but forgiving and loving expression on his father’s face before the life drained from it…

That event may not have come to pass, but that expression and the way his father’s body fell and disappeared into the smoke and burning maw of the base would surely haunt him still.

Kylo had thought he was certain, thought his resolve was strong, thought that he was sure about his path.

All it took was one act, one possibility regarding the path he was on presented to him by the Force, to show him how wrong he was. And now he was back to where he was before, left wondering what meaningful ‘destiny’ his life was meant for. Drifting without a purpose, with the overwhelming reminder that something terrible awaited him beyond the horizon. There was nowhere he could go to escape it, either.

So now, that begged the question:

Where did he go from there?

------

General Organa had known, instinctively, the moment it had happened. Something within the Force shifted, bright and hopeful, a feeling she hadn’t felt since the birth of her son. The boy had been a bright, beautiful blessing, born on a day of many celebrations as the war finally came to an end. Ben had been her light, her angel, in a dark, dark time. To feel this again… it gave her hope in a way she hadn’t had in a long, long time.

Han had done it, he was bringing their son home. The message over the comms an hour after her pilots had reported the base’s destruction wasn’t necessary, but it was still good to hear it from her husband himself. Ben was on his way home.

Han had done it .

For so long, she had wished for this day to come. Now that it was here, she didn’t know how to react. There was elation, anticipation, but also concern. Leia knew Ben would be in a bad state when he arrived, and she had a lot to make up for. They all did, but the three of them would take everything life continued to throw at them as it came.

She just wished Ben would be able to find it in him to forgive them.

There was a question at the end of Han’s message that also gave her something to consider: What about your people?

What about her people? She hadn’t told them what she’d sent Han there to do, to really do. She’d known what they would say, what they would think. Leia hadn’t even told them the truth about her son. What good would it have done them to know?

It wasn’t that she was ashamed, but she was terrified for her son. Terrified of what the truth being known would spell for him. So she kept it secret for his sake. Whether that had done either of them any favors would never be known. The truth would come out soon enough, and if her people had a problem with it, while understandable, they could deal with her. She couldn’t, and wouldn’t, absolve him of everything, nor protect him from everything, but she would make sure that Ben got a fair chance.

With strengthened resolve, and renewed hope, General Organa stood from her desk with a look of determination on her time and battle hardened features. This wouldn’t be like the disaster of facing the Senate after the truth about her birth father was leaked in some petty form of political competition. She would face this with her head held high.

It was the least Ben deserved.

The Resistance General was not the only one who had sensed, and known, what had happened earlier. In a dark, cold corner of space, on a vast and formidable ship, seethed Supreme Leader Snoke. Reports were still coming in from the disaster of Starkiller Base, but even without his blinding fury he wouldn’t have cared about survivors and injuries and lost ships.

He had been present as his apprentice faced his challenge, been present when Solo crossed the bridge in his foolish heroics. The Supreme Leader had sensed the warring Light within Kylo in that moment, but had foolishly placed his faith in his young apprentice. Ren had been weak, folding under a vision that should’ve given him strength and certainty. And now, he’d lost not one, but two of his greatest weapons.

His master’s plans were falling apart, the First Order’s fists around the galaxy were at jeopardy, and it was all at the fault of that stupid boy .

How dare he betray his mentor like this? After everything Snoke had done for the pathetic child? He had pulled him out of the gutter the Skywalker’s had dumped him into. Kylo Ren wouldn’t be at the strength he was at today without Snoke’s teachings, he would do well to remember that while he weakened himself with sentiment. He owed his life to Snoke. 

He could recover from this, Snoke mused. Ren was not the only option, there was another. The memory of Starkiller Base would be fear enough for the moment. His master’s plans could still come to fruition, he would see to that. Not without making a statement.

Ren was his , and soon, he would remind him of that. As he would soon remind him how the Supreme Leader dealt with such transgressions as this.

It was the least his wayward apprentice deserved.

Chapter Text

The last day had probably been the most exciting and terrifying day of her life, right after the day her parents left her on Jakku. It still didn’t feel like it was over, not with the last few hours on the Falcon being the most nerve wracking, suffocating few hours of her life. Not even her time in the interrogation chamber had been like this, probably because then, she knew what was going on.

Here? Not so much.

At least she wasn’t alone in this, Finn stayed close by her while they traveled back to the Resistance base. He seemed even more surprised and unsettled by this than she was, which made sense. He’d worked for the First Order his whole life, he knew what Kylo Ren was like even better than she did, with her two brief encounters with him. She knew he was dangerous, but he had lived with it.

Rey was trying to wrap her head around something else. When Han had finally come to explain to them what was going on, the explanation he'd given was the last thing she had expected. She couldn’t imagine something like Kylo Ren coming from Han Solo, or the famed Leia Organa. Yet at the same time, she could see the similarities. They shared the same nose, the same forehead. Ren towered over Han in height, but their builds were similar as well. That was where their similarities stopped.

Han might be gruff, but he was also so nice , even if she knew the man would never admit it. Kylo Ren was so…

Kylo’s earlier words to her, when he’d sensed her growing attachment to Han, made her seethe as she recalled them. How could Kylo say something so horrid about his father? His father who obviously loved him if he was willing to risk it all, risk death , to bring him home? Rey would kill for something like that.

What had happened, to turn Han’s son into the First Order’s second most terrifying weapon? What had happened for him to turn against his father like that? To make him so bitter towards the man? 

Finn had told her stories of what Kylo Ren was like after Han had left them. He, too, couldn’t figure out how Ren could come from such a background. He’d told her a bit of what he’d seen of General Organa in his brief interaction with her. How two incredible war heroes could have a son like that… They had so many questions, but they both had the feeling that neither Han nor Kylo would be willing to answer any of them right now. No matter much they both figured they probably deserved it, after everything.

What surprised Finn the most was when Han had said that Kylo willingly left with them, the lightsaber on the smuggler’s hip clear evidence of it. She’d seen what Kylo was capable of, and though Han could handle himself, Rey couldn’t see him wrestling a younger, stronger man and powerful Force user for his weapon and winning.

She could practically taste the fear and unease coming off of her friend as the ship flew through the stars with Kylo Ren somewhere on that ship with them. Rey wanted to place a hand over his, or on his shoulder, but she didn’t know if she should. She settled with sticking close on the bench they’d claimed as they waited.

Rey wondered if her friend was also thinking about how he shared this in common with his former boss. They both were now traitors to the First Order, inbound for the Resistance. How did he feel about it? How did Kylo?

The scavenger, in her brief trip through Kylo’s mind, had sensed his conflict. It was still weird for her to think about it, and a large part of her didn’t want to touch it with a ten-foot staff, but she couldn’t shake what she’d felt, what she’d seen. Maybe it was why she wasn’t as surprised as she should have been. He’d been teetering, perhaps without even noticing it.

Part of her wanted to seek him out, but Han had warned them to give him his space. As much as she wanted to leave it alone, she wanted answers as well. How she had been able to breach his mind, why she’d been able, what this meant for her. If it had anything to do with what she saw when she touched that lightsaber.

This was going to drive her mad, Rey was certain of this, because she was sure she knew the answer to all of that anyway. She just wasn’t ready to confront it. Not now, maybe not ever.

Something inside of her, something that had always been there that had been sleeping before, was now awake, and it was all Kylo Ren’s fault.

Rey grumbled to herself at that thought, waving Finn’s confused look as she lazily dragged her finger through the holo in front of her. She had the feeling that getting the Knight to talk about it would be difficult even if it was a conversation she wanted to have to begin with. For the moment, she would just have to hope that it… went away, or wouldn’t become an issue until she could figure things out. Perhaps once she got back to Jakku, then things would be better. Rummaging through the remains of fallen ships was always a bit meditative…

Rey let thoughts of home pull her into a calmer state for the rest of the trip back to the Resistance. Han had warned them that they were taking a long way back to make sure that they wouldn’t be followed, and to not get too comfortable when they did. The First Order would likely not be sitting on their ass for very long after this attack, and the Resistance would need to move swiftly if they were to be able to enjoy this momentous victory.

Rey’s thoughts drifted away from Jakku long enough to wonder what was going to be waiting for them. She wouldn’t deny her excitement of seeing a real Resistance base in person, but with their extra passenger, she wondered what would happen. The Resistance had been welcoming towards Finn for his bravery and willingness to help, help that had been pivotal in destroying Starkiller Base.

What would they think about Kylo Ren showing up, after turning his back on the First Order as well? Would they be as welcoming to him as they were to Finn? That was what the Resistance about, was it not? Second chances for all walks of life? That’s what she’d hear about them, from Resistance sympathizers to memories of the Alliance.

Somehow, Rey knew that it would be more complicated than that, and for some reason, it made her nervous.

------

Kylo didn’t move for the duration of the trip, and barely uttered another word to Han when he and Chewie stopped by to check on him. He’d kept his head bowed and turned, shoulders tense until the Wookiee dragged the smuggler away to go deal with something else. The only time he moved was to find the ‘fresher in the mess that had become the ship, and that had ended with glass in his hand after he’d caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His pale, pathetic face and tired, dark circle lined eyes staring back at him pushing him over an edge.

He’d gone back to the table and stayed there until he felt the familiar shift of the ship exiting hyperspace, the transition from zero gravity to breaking atmo rattling the decrepit freighter and pulling a hissed swear from between clenched teeth as his injury jostled.

Kylo could barely hear the sounds of the ship over his own pounding heart, however. He had sensed it as soon as they left hyperspace, a presence all too familiar. Despite their positions in this war, they had never crossed paths before. In the six years since his fall, the last time he could recall feeling her presence was in the moment of his ascension. The sick, icy feeling of the lightning licking up his arms as he cut Ren’s life short couldn’t distract from the feeling of horror coming from halfway across the galaxy. It was by some stroke of luck that pushed their meeting back until this moment.

The landing was as rocky as the take off, which was saying something considering the conditions in which they’d left. All the air left him in a rush as he heard the others leave, the gangplank opening brought with it sounds of celebration. The Resistance celebrating their biggest victory against the First Order yet. A slight scowl pulled at Kylo’s features as he listened, their celebrations were too soon…

He tensed again when he heard footsteps hit the gangplank again, echoing louder and instead of quieter. He could feel her every movement as she entered the ship, stopping near Han who had never left…

Leia had waited anxiously for the first sign of the Falcon’s return. It wasn’t the first time in her life she’d been awaiting its return after another damning instance of watching it leave, but this time was different. Her meeting with her council had gone about as well as she expected, and Leia knew that the battle wasn’t over yet. They still had to tell the rest, but for now, Leia was confident about their standing. With her son’s cooperation, she was sure that what they’d worked up could go smoothly.

The starfighters were the first to return, both a surprise and not. Perhaps it was all Han’s past boasting about the ship getting to her, or perhaps it was her desperation to see her boy, but she’d been expecting the old freighter to make it back before the rest, despite being the last to leave.

Then, finally, the Falcon broke through the clouds behind the rest and made for the landing pad that had been cleared away for it earlier. Half the base was waiting for the returning members of their group, while the other half were preparing for their evacuation, but everyone’s spirits were high. The returning ships were met with much enthusiasm. Leia sighed in relief with each one she saw safely returned, and her heart clenched when she counted each missing ship. They would prepare something for those lost once they were safe, for now, her eyes turned to one ship in particular.

The Falcon never had much grace, but that was all part of her charm and something the General had grown quite fond of. However, whatever grace it did have was gone. The old ship would need more extensive repairs after her time in the desert and her most recent harrowing adventure, but unfortunately, that would have to wait. 

Once the Falcon rattled to a landing and settled with more groans than usual, Leia made her way over to the landing pad. The plank had lowered before she’d made it off the grass, and Finn and Chewbacca, as well as a girl she hadn’t seen but figured based on her clothes and proximity to Finn that this was Rey, descended shortly thereafter. Leia sighed with relief seeing them alright, and expressed as much when they were close enough.

“Finn, Chewie, it’s good to see you both in one piece.” Leia said with a gentle smile, which she turned to Rey next. “You must be Rey, I’m General Organa. I’m so glad to see you’re alright. Finn here was quite worried about you.” Leia placed a hand on both Rey’s and Finn’s arm, giving a soft, reassuring squeeze. “I’m sorry our meeting here is so short, but I promise I’ll check on you both later. For now, my second, Admiral Holdo, is waiting to debrief you. She knows of our little… development.”

Dark eyes, like the man’s hiding in the Falcon, flickering to the ship behind them. Her voice dropped as she slowly turned her gaze, suddenly more serious than before, back to them.

“I know you both must have many questions, and I assure you they will be answered in due time. For now, I must ask that you not broadcast this to the others yet. They will know eventually, of course, but for the moment I need to prepare my son and them for what’s to come next.”

Finn and Rey shared an uncertain look, before nodding, to which Leia smiled and gave their arms a thankful pat before letting them go.

“Thank you, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. Now, I’ve also got medical on standby for all of you. Go and get checked out and then report to the Admiral. I’ll see you both soon enough.”

It was a clear enough dismissal for the both of them, and they hurried off with one last uncertain glance back at the ship behind them. Chewie was less uncertain, perhaps looking happier than she’d seen him in a while. Leia knew the old Wookiee had been missing Ben as much as they have. Leia gave her friend a small smile, unable to manage much else despite everything. The Wookiee simply squeezed her shoulder with a quiet rumble of reassurance before following after the kids.

Once she was alone, Leia took a deep, steadying breath and made her way up the gangplank. The familiar smell of the ship hit her first, though not as strongly as the presence of her son. She’d felt him, so close yet so far, when the ship first arrived, but this was different. It was like he was in her hands already. Han greeted her first, pulling her into a bone crushing hug as they both took this moment to let the realization that their son was home settle.

Leia clung to the back of her husband’s shirt, relieved for more than one reason. When he’d left, he’d left with the understanding and acceptance between the both of them that they might not see each other again. They were both always willing to die for their son, but this time might have been the realest they’d ever gotten to it. She was so glad that both of her boys came home safely, but she had made peace with the worst before Han had even left her arms.

“You did it…” She breathed. Han squeezed her a little tighter.

“Snoke got him good, Leia…” Han muttered. How much of their son was there remained to be seen, but he knew she’d be with him in helping Ben get back to himself. “He needs a medic, too. A trooper got him after he handed me his lightsaber. We made do, but the way he handled it… I don’t think it’s the first time he’s been hurt over the years.”

Leia’s heart hurt for their boy, but they would handle this together as well. They would help their boy heal, physically, mentally, and spiritually. It would be a long road to take, but she’d always been willing to take it. “Where is he?”

Only then did Han let her go, gesturing with a small nod of his head to the rec room. “He’s been holed up in there, I didn’t want to crowd him… Are we sure bringing him here is a good idea? I mean, I know a place that's safe and far from all this.” Han still wasn’t certain that keeping Ben in the war was a good idea, and a large part of him just wanted to take his son far away from all of it. Would it be safe? Probably not, they’d always be looking over their shoulders but - wouldn’t they be doing that at the Resistance, anyway?

Leia sighed, and if she were being honest, she’d be lying if she said the same thought hadn’t crossed her mind. Their entire family had been hurt by this war for long enough, and she’d never wanted their son to be in the middle of it like they had been. “If he’s going to start a path to healing, that means confronting what he did and making amends. It’s important, not only for him, but for the rest of the galaxy, for him to prove that he’s willing to change. He’s always had such great power, now it’s time for him to use it for good. I know he’s capable of it and more, we just need to show him and the others that as well.”

Leia was right, she was always right, but still Han sighed. He’d known there’d be no easy path for this, but that didn’t mean that part of him couldn’t hope for it, for Ben’s sake. “How’d your people take the news?”

Leia sighed again. “About as well as you’d expect. Only the council knows, we didn’t want to tell the others until they were all back and settled. We managed to work something out, at least a start to it, we just need Ben’s cooperation now.”

Ben wouldn’t, and perhaps couldn’t, be forgiven for all that he did, but Leia knew he could make a start and had fought for that for him.

Han nodded, and his trust in her made that enough for him. It was better than any other alternative, he knew, and at least this way Ben could have a chance. There was no undoing all that he did, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t do things differently from now on.

With that, they moved towards the one place they’d both been longing for for far too long.

Kylo had waited with bated breath as the two continued to remain at the mouth of the ship for longer than he’d expected. The silence of the ship still didn’t allow for their voices to carry far, dulled by the metal walls and faint sounds of celebration still trickling in from outside. A slight jolt had gone through him when they finally did move, and he had to resist the urge to slink off in an attempt to avoid the inevitable for as long as he could. He knew it’d be pointless. There weren’t many places in this ship for him to turn to, he was trapped.

With a grunt, he finally pulled himself from the bench as the urge to not be seen as weak returned. If he was going to face her, he would do so on his feet, and not looking up at her like he was some wounded child once again. The old bacta had helped to take some of the edge off, but there was still a dull ache in his side with the movement. He would let it ground him, and hope it would be enough to get him through this.

Leia could sense Ben’s apprehension from the mouth of the ship, it was a mirror of her own that she kept muted. Though, perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad thing for him to see that she felt just the same. With that and a soft exhale, Leia let go of the tightly held control she had over her shields as her and Han made their way towards the rec room. 

The walk there seemed a lot longer than any of them ever remembered it being, the walls dragging on for ages. What felt like forever was really only a few seconds, however, before the pair finally crossed the threshold.

Leia’s breath caught in her throat when she laid eyes on her son for the first time in years. He’d grown so much… but there was that darkness to him, something that had always been lurking in the background, now consuming him. There were bags under his eyes, and he was far too pale and thin for her liking. Ben looked so exhausted, it broke her heart.

“Ben…” She breathed, taking a step forward after a drawn out, silent pause between the three of them. She took another, and another, and before either of them knew it she was standing in front of him, head craned back to keep her eyes on him.

Kylo felt rooted to the spot and could only let her. It was like the bridge again, the first time in a long time he was faced with his parents. She was older, the last he saw either of his parents they still had more color to their hair. Had the war done it, or was it him?

The younger man flinched when he saw movement in the corner of his eye, one of Leia’s hands reaching for him. Leia paused when she saw this with a frown, before resuming. Movements slow and careful, until her fingers brushed against his cheek. Kylo’s skin crawled at the contact, head turning an inch away from it to shake that feeling.

Leia sighed and lowered her hand, but her gaze never once wavered. “Oh, Ben… We’ve missed you so much.”

Something bitter twisted in Kylo’s chest, clawing at his ribcage to be let out, but he said nothing. This was a door he didn’t want to open, not now, not ever, if it could be helped. Even if the door was already hanging onto its hinges by a thread, wood splintered and crumbling to the ground.

There was so much Leia wanted to say to him, but she knew her boy. As much as he may need her to say it, now wasn’t a time where he’d be able to hear it. There had been many moments like that in her own life, moments where she’d wished she had cooled off enough to hear what needed to be said, but knew that it wouldn’t have had the impact it needed at the time. She would be patient now, Ben needed to do things on his own time.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” She went with instead. It was the truth, she was so thrilled to have him back. “You– Your father and I, we want you to know that, no matter what, you’ll always have a place with us. We should’ve told you that before.”

A soft sigh left Leia, before her gaze finally left her son’s face to the bandage at his hip, worry stabbing through her heart. “We need to get you seen by the medics, things are a bit hectic at the moment, but we can fit you in. I can have them be brought here, if you’d like—”

Kylo cut her off, his heart still twisting at her earlier promise. “I’d rather not drag this on, tell me what happens next.” He started, sliding to the side so she wasn’t so close and there wasn’t a table blocking him in from behind. He needed to breathe .

Leia took a step back and let her son put some distance between them, no matter how much she wanted to hold him. “Alright,” she started. “What happens next is you get that wound checked out. Then, we’ll meet with my council. They’ve been made aware of the situation, they’re expecting us soon.”

A scowl crawled across Kylo’s face, hands clenching at his sides as fury rose at her words. “I’m surprised you told them the truth, I would’ve expected the shame of being born of and having borne a monster would be too much for you to admit, General Organa. Losing your Resistance after losing your Senate would’ve been a harsh blow, wouldn’t it?”

Han took a step forward and stopped at Leia’s raised hand, his expression affronted and desperate. “Ben, come on, that’s not fair—”

A short, incredulous laugh left Kylo as he turned on his father next. “Not fair? What’s not fair is—”

“Enough.”

Both men stopped. Leia’s voice wasn’t raised, nor did it have that same hard edge it always did when commanding a room. It was firm, but tired.

Leia had to resist the urge to run her hands across her face, this was getting out of hand far quicker than she expected. Far quicker than she would’ve liked. She was tired of her family fighting. She fixed her son with a look of understanding, nevertheless.

“Yes, I told them. Because I’m not ashamed.” She wasn’t. She had been ashamed of Vader, but she never would be ashamed of her boy. “You’re my son, Ben. Nothing you do, nowhere you could go, and nothing you could become will ever change that. I told them because I needed them to understand that, and to understand why I fought so hard for you.”

Kylo was frozen in shock, but his expression pulled into apprehensive confusion, waiting for her to continue.

Leia took a deep breath and did so. “I can’t, and won’t, absolve you of everything you did, Ben. But it has been decided that you will be given a chance.”

Kylo wasn’t sure where this was going, and part of him wondered if he wanted to know. Still, he bit the barrel of the blaster and asked. “...A chance?”

Leia nodded, spine straightening as she leveled Ben with a serious look. “A chance to make things right. There are more details my council and I need to work out, but we’ve come up with a start. If you cooperate with us, then we can work with you on alternatives to imprisonment. You won’t be given free reign, of course, your lightsaber will have to be confiscated and you’ll essentially be under house arrest for the foreseeable future, but I believe that you have more than enough to offer us in exchange for a chance at clemency.”

Han and Kylo both looked to her in surprise, neither had been expecting this for different reasons. For Han, it was about as much of a best case scenario than he could’ve hoped for. Part of him knew Leia would fight for this, but her being able to make it happen made it real. This way, Ben could put in the work and do better.

For Kylo, he wasn’t sure if this was some big joke or not.

“...Clemency?”

------

“ Clemency?! ”

They took it about as well as she’d expected. Probably a little better, to be honest.

It wasn’t long after Leia told Ben what had been worked out for him that the three of them made their way out of the Falcon and made a pitstop at the medbay, before making for the central command center. Those who were still around became curious of the newcomer with the General and her husband, but a few, like Poe, recognized the man for who he was. Many had followed them to the command center once they’d left the infirmary, and were now the source of the cacophony of noise that exploded when Leia explained the situation to their newcomers.

There were protests, cries of outrage, everything Leia expected from them and more. She knew it wouldn’t be long now before this spread across the rest of the base, so she worked quickly to get the situation under control so she could make one thing perfectly clear.

“I will not excuse the crimes my son has committed, but no one is ever too far gone to come back and make a difference. He has made the choice to do so willingly. What you all must also understand is that we are in a better position than we ever thought we could be in; With my son here, Snoke has lost his best operative, and we now have access to First Order intel that not even our best spies could have obtained. And what of the Stormtroopers? First, one of their own has broken free of the chains placed upon them from early childhood, and now, Kylo Ren himself has turned his back on the First Order. We have given Finn a chance for his courage, but what will it say to them if we do not do the same for Kylo Ren? Some of them have done just as much harm on the orders of their superiors. This is all of the opportunities we have been looking for, I’m only asking you to trust me.”

The noise had died down while she spoke, and it gave her hope when she saw that everyone seemed to be giving her speech real consideration. Though many did not seem happy about it, them even listening to her words was more than enough for her. Ben had drifted off behind her when the room exploded, leaning against the west wall not far from where Artoo had once been stationed in his low power state. Arms folded across his chest, he looked every bit as uncomfortable as he felt with this situation.

Poe was one of the loudest outspoken against this, but his respect for Leia and his unwavering trust in her allowed him to hear her out as she addressed the room. He was still on edge, still so against this . He wanted to shake her and tell her just how bad of an idea this was, the memory of being strapped to that interrogation chair with his mind being peeled apart bit by painful bit by the man across the room fresh on his mind… But so was the sadness he’d seen in her whenever her family, specifically her son, was brought up. 

Poe, like many, had assumed that Leia’s son had been killed in the attack on Luke Skywalker’s Jedi Academy, to learn what had really happened to him… it was jarring, to say the least. Seeing her now, beneath the understanding of what she was asking and the severity of the situation, he could see how happy she was to have him back.

So, for Leia’s sake… Poe resigned to give Kylo Ren a chance.

By the end of the meeting, many others had as well. Despite this, he knew that there would be a lot of tension and wariness surrounding the base for the foreseeable future. Kylo Ren would have to prove himself, but there would be many who wouldn’t ever come to trust him, Poe was sure. Most members of the Resistance joined because of what the First Order had done to them and their families, and Kylo Ren was a part of that. He wouldn’t blame them for their anger and reluctance, but it spoke to what they thought and felt about Leia, their continued respect for their General, that no one tried to gun him down on sight anyway.

It was needless to say that this was the last thing anyone would’ve expected to come from this, and tensions were no doubt on the rise. Things were about to change, Poe could feel it. Whether it was a good change or a bad one won't be seen until it happens. That alone left him feeling even more uneasy. For their sake, he was gunning for good. Time would only tell. Time, and Kylo Ren’s actions from here on out.

He just hoped this didn’t come back to bite them in the ass later.

Chapter Text

It took a while for things to settle down, longer than Leia would’ve liked. She knew this wouldn’t be a quick and easy adjustment, but right now their time was limited. They couldn’t rely on luck forever. If they were to keep the Resistance alive, they would need to get moving. Glancing back at her son, Leia called the attention of the room back onto her before addressing him. If they were going to make this work, they might as well start now.

“Ben.” Wariness met her calm gaze, their dark eyes so identical to each other, in more ways than Leia liked to see. Her head nodding in encouragement like she would when he was a boy and curious about something, but too uncertain about leaving his mother’s side to explore. “How long do you think it will be before the First Order regroups?”

Kylo resisted the urge to shift in place when every eye in the room turned on him, as if half of them hadn’t already been burning through his skull. Instead, his spine straightened as he sighed. “I think the real question is: How long until they get here?”

It felt strange, saying they when so long it was we. He’d had to catch himself from saying the latter, Kylo was certain his new… company wouldn’t appreciate it. If any of them caught on to it, they didn’t let on. Most straightened to attention at his words and tuned in carefully, their fear and resentment tabled for the moment.

Kylo continued. “When Starkiller Base was destroyed, the only ship in orbit to receive the evacuating base personnel would have been the Finalizer. However, it cannot hold that many people for long, so others stationed in the neighboring systems would’ve been called in to take in the excess.” It wouldn’t have taken long, First Order protocols were efficient and quick. “Once the head count, injuries, and regrouping is settled, the First Order would then make its move. Which, I would bet, has just begun.”

Murmurs rose up within the room, the sense of urgency that had been layered under the excitement and air of victory now rose up, stronger by the second. Leia nodded, they had less time than they thought, which wasn’t surprising. She’d just hoped, like they all had, that they wouldn’t be down to the wire. Leia opened her mouth to start giving the order to speed up the evacuation process, when her son spoke again.

“However, your real concern won’t be the Destroyers heading this way, it will be the Supremacy.”

Everyone in the room frowned, including Leia. “What do you mean, Ben?”

Kylo had to swallow the laugh building up in his throat, half in amusement over how clueless these people were to their poor standing in this war, half in hysteria. Anxiety bubbled up in his chest as the threat of Snoke became more and more real with each passing second.

“With the destruction of Starkiller Base and my betrayal, the Supreme Leader will want to oversee our demise personally. If even one Resistance ship is still here when the Supremacy arrives, we’re fucked.” Kylo stated plainly, taking a step closer to the holotable centered at the heart of the room. “Recently, First Order engineers managed to develop the technology that makes tracking a ship through hyperspace possible. There is only one device so far, and that technology right now is stationed on the Supremacy. If a ship makes a jump in front of it, then the tracker will be able to detect and calculate all possible escape routes to its destination.”

The silence that followed rang heavily for a long, pregnant pause, before all hell broke loose once again.

“What?!”

“That’s impossible! No tracker is that advanced!”

“How can we know if he’s telling the truth?”

“He’s just trying to cause a panic!”

Kylo could feel the air crackling with his anger, and if he’d been paying attention, he would’ve seen that those closest to him could as well. The only one not frightened by it was his mother, who was too busy trying to get the room under control to try to placate her son.

“‘How can you know if I’m telling the truth?’ Because I am just as threatened by the First Order now as you are! You think I want to wait around, thumbs up my ass until I die? I have nothing to gain here by lying.” His voice rose above the others, harsh and cold as he glared at the particularly vocal naysayers. “If you want to take the chance and put everyone here at risk, fine. It won’t be my fault if you get your people killed.”

A few people had backed away from him in his anger, and some had calmed down enough to hear him, though all were now properly wary of the explosive man. Leia placed a hand on his arm so she could try to de-escalate the situation. “Is there a way to combat this technology?”

Kylo’s glare shot down to the area at his elbow when he felt someone touching him, before he swallowed a growl when he saw it was her and shook his head. “Not with the little time that we have, no.”

Leia nodded. They would figure out the tracker later, for now. “Okay. He’s right, we need to leave. Now. Get to your people, get to your ships. We can figure everything else out at the secondary location. If anyone is still here when that ship arrives… Take the long way, take as many alternatives as you can to shake it. Do not go straight to the base. Dismissed.”

No one needed to be told twice after that. Meeting disbanding quicker than she’d ever seen, quicker than it had when they’d put into motion the destruction of the First Order’s superweapon. Everyone scrambled to get this base packed up and on the move before the First Order arrived with their assured downfall. This was a familiar scene to her, and to Han as well, she could tell. 

At least D’Qar was warmer than Hoth had been, though the odds here were far greater than they had been on the icy hell.

It wasn’t just the future of the Resistance that was at stake, nor the future of the galaxy. But the future of her son was at stake as well, Leia knew as well as Ben what would be in store for him should the First Order get him back. She knew men like Snoke very well, and she’d be damned if she let him hurt her son again.

Leia turned to Ben and gestured for Han to join them, placing a hand on her husband’s arm once he was with them. “Ben, go with your father. See if you can tune into any First Order chatter- any edge we can get against them is good enough. Han, I’ll have Finn and Rey join you with the location of our rendezvous point. There’s nothing more you two can do, everyone here knows what to do.”

Han nodded, before frowning. “What about you?”

Leia smiled and patted his arm. “I’ll be leaving with the flagship, which will be one of the last to go.” She responded, knowing he'd ask and that he wouldn't like the answer. She wouldn’t leave until she knew her people were good, or already on their way to safety.

It was clear Han wanted to protest, and Leia knew he’d likely delay his own takeoff until she was underway as well. However, a look from his wife had him reconsidering that. He knew what she wanted of him, to get their son to safety once again. With a quiet sigh, Han nodded and placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder, trying not to let the hurt show when he got shrugged off almost immediately.

“Come on, kid. Let’s get out of their way.”

Kylo was all too happy to leave, even if he knew that it meant returning to that damned ship. It was far too much of it he’d seen so far, but he’d take it over dealing with politicians masquerading as military leaders and hot-headed little foot soldiers. The Knight followed a few steps behind Solo, but before they could make it out the door, a voice called out over the chaos.

“Ben.”

Eyes closed with a drawn out exhale as he stopped, before his head tilted in her direction in acknowledgement.

Leia glanced over at Han over their son’s shoulder, before returning to Ben. “When we meet again, we will need to have a more… constructive meeting with the council, to discuss terms and how this arrangement will work. Since we didn’t get the chance to do so as planned today.”

Kylo figured this little dance was far from over, so all he did was nod. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice otherwise, the only thing left was to hope that Snoke didn’t get to him first.

Leia nodded as well, knowing that he understood. She nodded to Han next, who tapped Kylo on the shoulder and soon both her boys had left once again. Leaving her to watch after their retreating backs. Though she knew that they would likely, hopefully, see each other again in a few hours, this time tomorrow at worst, she still hated watching them leave.

There was a little hope for them when Kylo saw just how much progress the base had made in packing up in the short amount of time they’d been given. If they were smart, they’d leave some of the bigger equipment behind. Though, as he passed a few machines stationed near what he assumed was a docking bay, he saw that they were smart enough to make moving them easier in a pinch anyway. They made their way directly to the Falcon where it was parked, Kylo making his way to the control center of the ship without prompting from Han.

Giving him something to do would go a long way in distracting him from the conflict he felt. Even if it also directly fed into it. It was better than being left to stew in the torrent of emotions within, something he knew could lead to explosive results if he wasn’t careful. He was grateful that Han seemed to have enough sense in him to leave him to it, as the smuggler had only bothered him enough to satisfy his overbearing needs before going to prepare the ship for a quick takeoff.

The terminal groaned and sputtered, but a quick, hard strike of his closed fist against it got it to cooperate. Kylo couldn’t help but roll his eyes as the piece of trash struggled to come to life. He had no idea how he was supposed to pick up anything on this thing. The scanners were so old and outdated, the Knight was certain it couldn’t pick up a bantha.

Still, he had to cooperate and try. Fingers danced across the control board with shaky familiarity, it had been a long time since he had last gotten his hands on it. They’d been smaller, making reaching every button in a quick and precise manner difficult. Such difficulty wasn't seen now that he was older and grown. Kylo shut out the returning memories in favor of getting to work.

A Gonk droid would do better work than this, but it was better than nothing. Frustration etched itself deeply into the line of his brow, the signal kept cutting in and out, and the range wasn’t what he would’ve liked in a situation like this. Thankfully, he had something no one else on the base would’ve had: Direct access. So with that in mind, Kylo switched to tackle this issue from a different angle.

It was a little tricky. Kylo knew his clearance would’ve been pulled and flagged by now, but he was familiar with the backdoors. He’d hardly used it, but thankfully, his slicing skills hadn’t gotten rusty over the years.

Within a few, heavy seconds, there was nothing. Then, whispers started to come through. The faintest trace of activity from the First Order channels. It was more than he was expecting with the tech he had on hand, and about as much as he expected with his estimated distance. As he examined the signal, however, he noticed something else that, while expected, was no less worrying.

It was getting stronger.

“They’re coming.”

Han looked up from where he and Chewie were bickering over the open panel in the floor where his son had appeared in the doorway with a frown. The smuggler and Wookiee shared a look, before closing up the panel and standing. They had to move, now.

“I’ll let your mother know.”

Leia was coordinating evacuations left and right, ships had already started to leave for the rendezvous point. No one would start settling in until they knew that they were safe, but they couldn’t have all their ducks sitting in one pond when the storm came. Once she was certain that things were well underway, she stepped aside long enough to relieve Holdo of two of their newest guests.

“I know this isn’t what either of you expected from today, and if there’s anything we can do for you both, we can take care of that when we’re safe.” Leia started, bringing Finn and Rey back through the command center. The two were just as antsy as the rest of the base to leave for their own reasons, and Leia couldn’t blame either of them.

Rey looked around at the base that seemed emptier by the second, the chaos seemingly controlled despite what it felt like. “Where’s everyone going?”

Leia smiled and handed the girl a datastick. “Give this to Han, it’ll show him where to take you. He’s waiting in the Falcon with Chewie and Ben, one of my officer’s and engineer’s will be joining you as well once they get their own business taken care of.”

Finn shifted uneasily at the thought of being so close to Kylo Ren again in such a short amount of time, but he’d take it over being captured by the First Order. Now that he had an audience with her again, Finn was tempted to ask about Ren, but the former Stormtrooper knew that this wasn’t the time. “Do you think we can make it?”

Leia knew that the practical answer was to hope, and pray, but having faith was more important than a hope and a prayer right now. If she wanted, perhaps she could tap into the Force for her answer. Just as Luke had done so often… Before she could form a response to try to soothe their worries, her wrist comms went off with something that turned her tight, but determined smile into a frown.

“We have to. Go on, get to the Falcon.”

Rey and Finn shared an alarmed look, but it was all the motivation they needed from there. The two ran off in the direction of the freighter as Leia turned back to the few still remaining in the command center directing the evacuation.

“Get everyone out of here, everything not already loaded gets left behind. Wipe everything, the First Order is on their way.”

------

Soaring through the vast lanes of hyperspace, the Supremacy was barreling down upon the Resistance. Flanking it were the Destroyers that had gathered to take on the extra personnel in the wake of Starkiller Base’s destruction. The Supreme Leader hadn’t allowed for much delay once their people had been gathered, they needed to move swiftly to shut down the rebellion.

Though many were determined and convinced that this would be the end, something unsettling sat on Snoke’s mind. His apprentice was drifting away faster than he had expected, becoming like smoke between his fingers. Twisted, gnarled features pulled in a deep scowl as he sat upon his great throne.

His master was under the impression that the boy could still prove useful, even if he was just as displeased as his servant with this change in behavior. Their reigns shaken, but not yet lost. They could still win.

Snoke did not share the same sentiment, he was furious with the Solo boy and would rather see him crushed before he could crush them. If Organa got her hands back on the boy, he would be lost to them. If Skywalker returned too…

Perhaps Solo would simply kill Skywalker and have himself removed from the picture as a result, making it easier on him. Snoke couldn’t see him cooperating with Skywalker, no matter what sway his weaknesses have on him at the moment. That anger and betrayal that had been seeded in the boy was so deeply rooted in his heart, it would be a hard thing to move past.

Snoke knew that it would be a spot of great tension between him and his family. That, he hoped, would keep Solo staggering and on ill terms with the people whose arms he ran into so he could escape his destiny. Surely, the Resistance won’t take it well either when Ren expresses such opposition and hatred towards Skywalker.

His apprentice was doomed to fail from the start, Ren should see this. Snoke should have seen this. Even if, by some chance, they could get him back like his master had suggested, Snoke wouldn’t trust him not to fail like this again. They couldn’t rely on him, but the girl… His master said there was something special about her, something they could use.

She was his next priority.

A sudden, sharp tone from his comms drew him out of his dark, furious thoughts. A gnarled finger jabbed into the arm of his throne and the blue figure of Hux sprung to life before him.

“Are we there, General?”

“Exiting hyperspace in three minutes, sir. Nothing new has been found in Resistance chatter, they’ve gone silent.”

Likely attempting their feeble escape, no doubt. Still, something did not sit right with him…

“Anything from Ren?”

The figure frowned heavily at the name. Snoke knew that Hux was likely glad about this development with the Knight’s betrayal. He’d pit them so well against each other, he was surprised neither of them had managed to successfully kill each other over the years.

“All his clearance codes have been revoked and flagged, but they haven’t been used yet. I doubt he would try them or give them up knowing our procedures. An analyst did detect a slight disturbance in our comm systems, but can’t rule out naturally occuring outside interference like what we had seen around the ruins of Ilum.”

They couldn’t rule out any of the other alternatives either, but he sensed his apprentice’s involvement in this. Trying to discern how long he has left before the inevitable. His efforts would be fruitless.

“Once we arrive, cut off all ships attempting to escape. I don’t want to lose them. We must put a swift end to this.”

The image nodded once. “It will be done, Supreme Leader.”

------

Leia didn’t release the breath she’d been holding until the stars streaked past them and the world shifted on its axis in a way that was comfortingly familiar as they made the jump. Once the flagship had left, only a few smaller vessels were left, but already she was receiving pings as they made a safe jump. Han and the Falcon had left minutes before her, her husband stalling as long as he could after Ben’s warning before leaving with their son.

They’d had to sacrifice some of their equipment to make it, but equipment could be replaced. Her people couldn’t. Leia frowned with a heavy heart when two of the remaining ships went longer and longer without pinging an all clear.

“Poe.”

The pilot looked up from where he’d been going over his checklist, feeling a little lighter with each name checked off and accounted for. Some of that heaviness returned when he saw the look on Leia’s face. “Yes, General?”

Leia sighed and turned over the terminal to him. “Darsten and Yolni haven’t reported in, get on the line with their squad. Theirs was the last to leave the base, the rest have already checked in with me. Find out what’s going on and where they are, then report back to me. I need to check with the others.”

Poe nodded and immediately got to work. The Red squadron consisted of some of the best and brightest of the Resistance, second only behind his own squadron. Darsten and Yolni could take care of themselves, but still, nothing could be left to chance. Maybe they weren’t able to contact them and were safe, maybe something had happened. It was now up to him to find out. He started by contacting the Red Leader, Morvik, to get a sitrep.

Leia knew Poe had it handled from there, right now, she needed to get with the rest of her people.

As she called Holdo over, the General’s thoughts, as they so often have the last several hours, nevermind the last several years, turned back to her husband and son. Wondering how they were and what they were doing, so far from her reach once again. At least this time, it was only temporary. At least this time, they were together, and she would see them again, safe and sound, soon enough. 

Though Ben was still so far from them spiritually, at least he was here, where they could help him. For now, he was in his father’s capable hands. A large part of her wished she had gone with them, mostly to have that time with her son after having so much of it stolen from her, but also to prepare him for what would come next. But, as brash and obtuse as he could be, Han had a certain way with people. It was something that had gotten her to lower her guard, fall in love, and intertwine her life with his in a way she didn’t know possible from the asshat she’d met on the Death Star. It had helped her through her darkest moments, and she knew, no matter how much he wanted to avoid them right now, it would help Ben through his, too.

------

The air in the Falcon was thick and tense, and not because the air filters were beyond needing to be changed. It was quieter than Han ever remembered it being, too. Even when it was just him and Chewie - there was often the Wookiee’s rumbling or the tinkering of tools, or the occasional song whenever Han felt like tuning in to whatever station they picked up first.

It was a bit unnerving, even if he knew the reason why was something he couldn’t fix.

If he had to guess, he would say that the kids and Leia’s people that had tagged along— he hadn’t gotten their names yet, but they looked far too young to be in this fight. Then again, they all had, all those years ago— were in either the cargo area, or the rec room. Ben, well, the man had disappeared almost as soon as they’d made it up the gangplank. There were only so many places he could be in the ship, however, and Han still remembered all of his usual hiding spots.

Han checked, rechecked, and triple checked the scanners so many times to make sure they hadn’t been picked up by First Order ships, that Chewie was warning him he’d break something if he kept it up. The captain had a retort on the tip of his tongue for his first mate, but he held it because he knew the real reason why the Wookiee was trying to get him to stop and take a break. He was practically vibrating with it, he was sure. 

His worry for Leia, his determination to keep Ben safe.

He didn’t think he’d be able to relax until they were planet-side once more, with both his wife and his son in sight. There was nothing to do but wait and be vigilant until then.

As Han predicted, the other occupants of the Falcon had dispersed to different parts of the ship. Rey and Finn had stuck together in the cargo area, while the engineer, a young Twi’lek woman with lovely lavender skin who kept eyeing the engine room like she wanted to dive in, had taken up shop at the scanners in the rec room. The officer- someone he'd already identified as kin as he knew a ‘hotshot pilot,’ as Leia would call it, when he saw one- a human female sat near the cargo hold doorway with an air of nervous energy that occasionally drew the attention of the ex-trooper and Jakkuan scavenger. The ship was quiet, as if they were all waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Meanwhile, in another part of the ship, Kylo had taken up residence in a part he doubted anyone, save for his father, would be able to reach him at. It was a surprise to find that it was still there, largely intact, and virtually unchanged from the last time he was there when he was still just a boy.

His old room.

Calling it a ‘room’ might be a bit generous, it had once been a storage space converted into a little room when Han had finally allowed the boy to accompany him on trips. As far as storage spaces went, it could’ve been cozier, but it was big enough to fit a small bed, a small desk, and a little shelf on the wall. It had been enough for him as a boy. Now, it felt far too cramped.

His knees were practically digging into his chest from where he sat on the old cot, the absence of pain from his side heavily noted in that moment. He could’ve used the distraction, and the discomfort from sitting in this cramped position only served to make him further aware of everything else.

The room hadn’t been touched, perhaps had remained undiscovered for however long it’d been out of Solo’s hands - he’d heard enough complaining during his trip to the infirmary to know the fate of the Falcon. Kylo had had to stop himself from laughing in his father’s face, he’d always known Solo’s reckless gambling habits would bite him in the ass one day. 

It was almost poetic, that he should lose his beloved ship in the way he’d acquired it and have it reduced to near rubble. 

Perhaps karma could be a considerate mistress after all.

He did wonder what Solo tried harder at - reaching his son, or reaching his ship?

Kylo shook his head to clear it of those thoughts, he knew the path they would lead him down wouldn’t serve him in any way beneficial. The last thing they needed was for his abilities to knock them off course or slow them down. The ship was barely holding it together as it was anyway, they needed to actually make it to their destination. Preferably alive. Still, it left a sour taste in his mouth and electricity in his palms.

So, he tried to distract himself with anything, anything else but his own thoughts.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot in that room that didn’t bring forth memories he’d rather not deal with at the moment. Perhaps he chose a poor spot to hide out in afterall.

His desk, littered with scraps and dried splotches of ink. An old calligraphy set strewn across the messy surface. The shelf, containing the few books that remained as he’d taken most with him when he- and a few rolled up bits of parchment that were either his calligraphy practice sheets or star charts. It could be both, but he couldn’t recall what might’ve survived the years to warrant a place on the wall like that.

There was a box on the floor that he didn’t think had been there the last time he was in this room. It echoed with the same wisps in the Force Solo tended to leave behind, so he debated on whether or not he wanted to mess with it. With nothing else to occupy himself with, however, he reached for it and pulled it close, surprised to find what was inside. His old ship models.

His fingers reached for an old Jedi starfighter model, the resemblance to the TIE fighters he’d seen in rows by the hundreds not even two days ago was apparent. The viewport held the same pattern, the wings framing the round body. Part of him wondered if that was where the Empire had gotten the inspiration for the design…

The paint was worn thin, dirty and faded beyond recognition, but he knew it had been yellow. It had been gifted to him by Tekka, with a twinkle in his eyes that said there was more to it than just being another simple toy. What it was, the old man hadn’t had the decency to share with him.

The small ship creaked under his grip as his mouth thinned at the memory, and the echo of a voice that has haunted him for days…

Something far worse has happened to you.

He dropped the ship back into the box as if it were on fire, like a raging kyber, reeling from being so newly bled. The feeling so familiar as it was easily recalled from his memory. Searing into his flesh and forever branding him as fallen, broken, weak—

Well, there goes not thinking about the things that’ll set him off.

Something cracked, whether it was in his head or something within the ship, Kylo didn’t care to know. The air felt thick and was growing even thicker with each passing second. Static electricity dancing along his arms. His eyes screwed shut as he tried to block it all out. The voice, the memory of Tekka’s face before he killed him, the memory of the vision, the daunting realization of how screwed he was.

It was only a matter of time before those for whom it mattered realized that he couldn’t be what they now wanted him to be, what their General said he could be. That he was nothing more than the monster of their story. He knew this little farce wouldn’t last long, they’d grow tired of pandering to one woman’s request and do what should’ve been done from the start.

That is, if he didn’t go insane before then.

Was there any bright side to all of this? He didn’t think so. All that he had worked towards was now reduced to ash, now he was reducing himself to nothing more than a bird to sing until his usefulness was dried up or redundant. The beliefs and the code he’d adhered to for so long was now so meaningless, what more was left for him?

The Dark embrace was both haunting and familiar as it settled around hunched shoulders, like a blanket littered with holes. Offering no comfort, no warmth, nothing but the reminder of its presence weighing him down. He was tired. He’d been ignoring it for so long, it was almost too hard to swallow his pride and admit it. He was… so tired, but he didn’t want to reduce himself to being a songbird, called upon when needed and then sent back to his cage until the next time. He may be fighting the exhaustion and confused about his place, but he knew he was still meant for more. Meant for something great.

The stars outside moved too fast for Kylo to get a steady hold on the Force, and he didn’t want to rely on those in the ship with him for that grounding experience he needed to see, but through the veil, he could almost feel a sense of agreement from beyond.