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Dick needs to talk to Bruce, and the only place and time to do it is when Bruce has snuck down to the 'Cave. Dick will deal with what he's doing down there later, but right now, he needs to do this.
Kate's there too. Dick thinks that maybe Babs sent her as backup. Or Jason, actually.
But he needs to talk to Bruce, and while he'd prefer not to do this in front of anyone else, …he'll deal with it.
It's Kate, anyway. She's known him for years, since he was a kid.
And even if he does embarrass himself in front of her, he can just avoid her. It's fine.
And-. Babs is probably watching too. That's-. Not super ideal, but it's fine.
Dick doesn't even say anything before Bruce starts talking, “On the Watchtower, Red Hood had a lot to say on the existence of Robin.
"You stood there and let him.
"What he said- That isn't what Robin is. Why didn't you disagree?”
Okay. Okay, let's do this. “Being Robin is dangerous, Bruce. Being a child vigilante does get kids hurt. I just-.” Hadn't realised. Or thought about it. Dick had made a choice to be Robin: how could he take away any other hero’s choice to help?
Bruce looks frustrated and upset. “That's how you think of it?”
“Not-. Not at the time. But I should have realised before, and done something about it.”
“Would you have attempted to prevent any of Tim's team from becoming heroes?” The censure is clear in his tone.
“I-.” He doesn't know.
Wait, hang on-. “Bruce, you fired me from being Robin, because it was too dangerous.
"You said it was because there was no place for a child in what you do. Never mind that just a few months later you had a kid who wasn't even a teenager yet in the same suit!”
That had been-. It had been awful, finding out. Not only had he been fired from Robin, he'd been replaced with a child. A barely-trained child.
But also because Bruce hadn't given him a choice in it. “As soon as I disagreed with you, you said that I was a man, man enough to accept your decision. Too young to be your partner, but old enough not to be. You picked and chose whatever suited your argument, it didn't matter if it was a contradiction.”
And being replaced had sucked. “You know- Jason knows you took him in as a replacement for me, like a fucking goldfish instead of a child, but fuck, you replace all of us!”
Bruce grinds out, “None of you are ever replacements for the other.”
“Fine. Say it's not.”
And this is such a non-example, he's not bothered by this anymore, but it still-. He doesn't understand why Bruce did it, not ever. But even now, coming back to the Manor, he's always got that tiny voice of doubt, asking if someone has taken over his room when he wasn't looking. But he's not bothered by it, he's not, so it's safe to talk about, “Then explain to me why you kept giving my room away.
"You gave it away to Jason - who you didn't even tell me about, I had to find out from the news! And you gave it away to Tim as well! And- it's fine. I wasn't living at the Manor anymore, but for god's sake Bruce, it wasn't like there weren't plenty of other rooms for them to have! Rooms that weren't mine!”
Bruce is staring at him in shock.
“Actually you know what, it's not about my room.”
Because really, the worst part hadn't been coming home and finding a stranger in his bed, it had been coming home and finding a stranger using his uniform, using his name. Jason had become Robin, and Bruce hadn't told him. Hadn't asked him. Dick had had no idea, until he found everything out all at once.
“You keep acting like Robin is yours. Your name and your uniform to take, to use however you like! It's not. It's mine.
"It's not my callsign, Bruce, it is my name.
"Do you understand? It. Is. My. Name.”
He stops for a moment. He has to. He puts a hand over his eyes, starts taking some deep breaths. He needs to keep talking, so he does - but he keeps his eyes covered.
“Robin is my name. It is my family's colours. It belongs to me. I am allowed to give it to whoever I like, whenever I like. I have that right.
"You don't, Bruce. Jason didn't know, no one else knew, but you did.
"And yes, when there's a new Robin, I do choose to give the suit to them. But that's my choice. And it adopts them into my family. But it has nothing to do with you and what you decided!”
He moves his hand away.
He-. Fuck. He has no idea why he's so bothered by this right now. It's fine. It's been fine, for years.
It's just-. He's been talking to Jason, and Jay won't even say anything, he'll just look at him some kinda way. And now it's not fine anymore.
“Dick, chum, why are you so upset?”
“You didn't tell me my brother was dead!”
The scream echoes.
The ‘Cave is silent, except for Dick, breathing hard.
Why did that come out of his mouth? What-? Is he-. He looks behind him, to Kate. Maybe it's because she didn't know Jay was alive, and it's bringing up old shit that he'd buried?
He hadn't realised that he was still so mad about this, actually, but no, wow, he really fucking is. “You didn't tell me my brother was dead. I had to find out, weeks later, from a snot nosed kid who didn't give a shit, because you couldn't be bothered to tell me.
"I missed the fucking funeral, Bruce.”
Bruce doesn't say anything.
“When important things like this happen, Bruce, you need to tell us. It is not okay for any of us to have to find out from other people, or from the news.”
Kate steps forward, adds, “I found out from the news too, Bruce. Every time you adopted another kid, I didn't find out from you. And when Jason died, I didn't find out from you. And when he came back, guess what, I didn't find out from you.”
Her mouth is twisted up. Dick knows -Barbara told him- that she only found out Jason was back after Jason had shot Bruce.
“And I get it, you don't trust me, you've made that clear, but the others are my family too.
"You should have told us.”
Bruce casts a look at her, then turns back to Dick.
“If you want to complain about my communication skills, Dick, why don't you work on your own?”
“...What.”
“You locked everyone out of the report concerning the Joker's death. You refused to tell me what happened, or why you chose to do so.”
“You didn't need to know!”
“About the Joker's death?”
Dick breaks. “Jason was fucking suicidal, okay! You wanna know what was in the fucking report we blocked you from? It was Jay doing his best to take out who he could before dying himself! He wanted to die.
"And you wanna know why he was suicidal, Bruce? Because the Joker was still alive, and because if Jason killed him, he truly believed you would have cut his throat for it. Again.
"And not just- not just if he did it in front of you. He thought that if he stopped the Joker permanently, no matter when or how, that you'd -that we- would hunt him down and kill him.
"And that is because of you. Because of what you did to him.
"That is why I locked everyone out of the report.”
Kate says into the silence, “Is that true?”
Dick looks away from Bruce, and at her, “Yes.”
“...All of it?”
“Yes.”
“He- he cut Jason's throat?”
“To save the Joker's life.”
Bruce says loudly, “To stop Jason from being a killer, from staining his soul! I can't let anyone die- we don't let anyone die, Dick. You know that.”
Kate frowns at him, “Hadn't he already killed people by then? A little late to stop him from killing, surely.”
Dick takes the second point, “And you couldn't let anyone die, but you could kill someone?”
“He's not dead!”
“Anymore. He's not dead anymore. He already argued this point, Bruce. You killed him. Just…admit it.”
Bruce's face says he won't.
God, but Dick's tired.
Jason's relationship with Death is…he doesn't even know. He's apparently met her (her? maybe her), and owes her a favour! Who the fuck knows. But Jason is uniquely qualified to know if he died or not, and he says he did.
Dick can't argue Jason's point better than he can. He exhales, long and slow, murmurs almost silently, “God, you really should be talking to Jason about all of this.”
Jason dying, but also the whole Robin thing. He's been thinking about it for years more than the rest of them have.
Except Bruce really shouldn't. Jason didn't seem open to talking about it to anyone -only telling Dick because he's been extending trust to him, to prove to himself that Dick can be trusted- and he definitely isn't open to talking to Bruce, not about that topic, or any topic, ever.
He hadn't been open to it before, and then, after Dick had found out- found out what he had, and told him-. He'd nearly run, Dick had known that much. He doesn't really know why or how Jason had stayed, with how much he'd clearly wanted to run. -Wanted to be out of Gotham, wanted to be away from Bruce, from what Bruce had done.
Killing Jason, killing anyone, that's not what Batman should be. It goes against everything Batman stands for, everything he is, everything he does.
Except. The reason Bruce had done what he had to Jason. That reason goes against everything and everyone that Dick cares for. He can't let that slide either.
He steps closer to Bruce, close enough that no one else can hear him, or read his lips, close enough that the only person he's talking to is Bruce. He says, “And the other part of it, Bruce, that I don't think I can forgive-.
"Babs and I looked through all your patrol reports. We looked through everything. And because of what the Joker did to her, I took anything that involved him. It took me a while to get to it, but I have now.
"And I've counted, Bruce, just how many times you've saved that monster’s life. You're supposed to be justice, Bruce. And you're supposed to care about us. And yet-.”
Bruce says, almost soundless, “Dick.”
“Over a hundred times. Over a hundred times, Bruce. And I thought you cared about us. He nearly killed me. He did kill Jason. He shot Babs. He'd hurt so many of us. He'd killed so many people. And you saved his life, over and over.”
Dick steps away, shaking. His voice is still deliberately quiet, “What he wanted to do was hurt you. He made that his purpose in life. And he took that out on everyone around you, because hurting us would hurt you. And he did hurt you. Over and over and over. And you hated him. I know you did. Or at least, you've said you did. Jay said as much. And fine, you believe in saving lives, as Batman. But saving his? For fuck's sake, Bruce, why?”
Bruce doesn't answer.
Dick closes his eyes, takes a breath, opens them, then keeps going. “What you did to Jay-. If it had been a mistake, I would have understood. Even-. Even being Robin, what that means- what Jason says it is-. I didn't know, not until he told me. I don't-. I think you didn't either. I think a lot of what Jason is angry about -and he's right to be angry about it- you didn't realise.
"So I figured that once you were told, you would do better. And Jason wants that too. He's never said anything about me not forgiving you, just that he can't. I thought-. I thought they were honest mistakes. That you meant well, and just-. Fucked up. I thought you were trying.
"But Bruce.” He looks at Bruce. “How could I forgive you for the Joker, and still look anyone in the eye? How can you?”
Dick shakes his head and steps back again. He doesn't wait for an answer, just murmurs “There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Bruce. Nothing. I love you. But-.”
(He knows that Bruce hates being Bruce. That without Batman, he'd hate his life. But if it's done this to him-. It's made him worse. It's made everything worse. To the point where Jay thought Bruce would kill him. To the point where Bruce hurts them - had hurt Jason, and Tim, (and him). And Dick can't-. He can't support that.)
He speaks loudly now, so that everyone listening can hear, “I can't be here, Bruce. I won't. Not with what you've done. If the others want to, they can. And believe me, I'll be checking on them every day. But I cannot talk to you right now.”