Chapter Text
It was supposed to be a fun weekend. At least that's what Percy's father had told him.
To be honest, he wasn't exactly sure why he was invited - or why he was going.
After all, it was a celebration of Poseidon and Amphitrite, their marriage to be exact. He didn't really understand the point of a celebration but he supposed being an immortal being was bound to get boring at some point and they had to find some ways to entertain themselves.
Percy hadn't even known about it. He'd been in his apartment, studying for an upcoming exam that had his head pounding and his hand aching when he'd heard the telltale swoosh of an Iris message appearing in front of him.
He quickly snapped his head up, a moment of silent prayer that it was one of his friends and not somebody important since he looked like a drowned, over exhausted dog.
His prayers were not answered.
Percy's father, Poseidon, smiled gently at him with a clinical eye, looking him up and down, probably assessing everything that looked wrong with him so he could bring it up the next time they saw each other.
Percy was already done with this conversation.
He sighed and put his pen down, mentally chalking this up as a mini break - despite the fact that any conversation with his father usually ended up stressing him more than any official test ever could.
“Hey dad.” He said, exhausted.
“Son, It's good to see you. although I see that you have not been taking care of yourself like you promised me that you would.” His voice came on a bit stern in the end but he was used to his father's gentle passive aggressiveness. And deep down he knew that it came from a place of care (even if he wanted his father to shove that care up his ass sometimes).
“You caught me at a bad time. I was just about to take a shower and go to sleep.” He lied through his teeth. He was not about to do that but what Poseidon didn't know, didn't hurt him.
“Uh huh.” His father sounded unimpressed and unconvinced. “Well, my boy, I have exciting news.” oh brother.
His father's exciting news usually ended with Percy dangling off a cliff on some mini quest for a long forgotten item Poseidon had misplaced a few centuries ago but was suddenly in great need of. (Nothing was as infuriating as the time he'd had to fight off a whole family of cyclops and then some for a pair of shimmery sandals he was fairly certain was catching dust in a cabinet at Atlantis as of right now).
“For you or for me?”
“For us! You've been invited to a celebration of my and your stepmother’ long-lasting, thriving marriage. The proper invitation will be arriving in about ten minutes but I wanted to be the one to tell you.”Huh. Could be worse, he thought. It was better than other instances of exciting news his father brought him (which also consisted of what he could do to make his siblings or the merfolk like him or about how nice it was being alive forever and not having to worry about an impending, timely doom).
Percy honestly does believe that those conversations were worse than going on any quest.
“Well, that's nice.” He said flatly. Looking back, he could have probably put in more effort to sound excited. A twelve year old Percy would have been overcome with joy at the prospect of being asked if he wanted to spend time with his father but nineteen year old Percy was an empty shell of bitterness - courtesy of Tartarus and leading two wars - and he didn’t have it in him any more to feel excitement.
Poseidon frowned a little. “So, you'll be there, of course.”
“Of course.” Not like he could really object. Well, he’s sure he could try but despite the strong resentment he felt towards his father and Atlantic family, he didn’t have the heart to hurt him. Although he knew Poseidon probably wouldn’t mind doing it back. Honestly, Percy's convinced that if he wasn’t his only mortal child, he wouldn’t have even bothered meeting him, let alone inviting him to some anniversary party for him and his wife.
Poseidon nodded, satisfied and bid goodbye which Percy begrudgingly wished back. The iris message disappeared and he was left alone to get back to his studies.
A few minutes later, a pure white letter laced with pearls and swirls of seafoam fabric appeared on his desk which brought Percy back to the present, where he was being given an outfit by one of the many nereids in Atlantis.
It was a light blue chiton, similar to what the ancient Greeks wore (of course) with green gems on it in some sort of constellation pattern that made it a lot heavier to wear than it should have been. But, according to Louay the nereid, the green of the jewels made his eyes pop. She had been giggling the whole time as she helped him get dressed - despite his heavy protests that he wasn't five years old and he could put on a stupid chiton without any help.
He was dressed and ready long before the actual party and after Louay left, all he could do was sit on his bed and ponder.
Which he didn’t want to do. Ever since Tartarus, it was like all he could do was think, think and think; about Annabeth, Akhlys, Jason; about the wars, the deaths, the blame and the pain; about his childhood with Gabe and the familiar feeling of his fist against his cheek, his cigarettes heads pressed against his arms and the belt that would leave him unable to sleep. When he was in a very bad state, he would think about his mother, about his baby sister whom he thinks he loves, his home and his room that had been given to his little sister. He’d think about how he felt like he’d been thrown out like a stupid mutt, about how his mother had gotten the life she’d always dreamed of: her perfect husband, perfect job and perfect daughter who was easy to take care of and easy to love. Two things that Percy was not.
Percy didn’t like to think. He didn’t like being left alone with only himself as company and he wouldn't ever be. He didn’t want to think about whether his mother was happier now that she didn't have to be around him anymore. If she ever missed him or if she ever even loved him.
Percy would always feel a bit guilty for thinking of the things he thought but it was like his mind was programmed to just be negative and there was nothing he could do to change it.
There was a loud thud near his bedroom door that his whole body snapping up, instinctively reaching towards riptide.
He put the pen back down when he heard laughing and a thick Atlantian accent scolding someone for dropping whatever that was.
Percy sighed and laid back down but his shoulders were even more tense than usual yet somehow the spew of negativity had slowed down until there was just a static noise in his ears.
He got up and walked towards his door. A short walk to the palace gardens would certainly cause no harm. After all, the party did start in an hour. He certainly had enough time to try and relax with the refreshing smells of various flowers he didn't bother learning the names of.
The walk was short. The halls were bustling with nereids running around like headless chickens, their arms full of meaningless items that would most likely be thrown away after the party, eager to finish with the preparations. A part of him wished that he could be there with them instead of wearing expensive, lavishing clothes to celebrate something his entire existence was against. He was a bastard, after all.
But of course, fate never wanted him to be at peace.
When he was a few steps away from stepping into the gardens, he heard loud, rambunctious laughter. The kind that he was privy to hear every night from Gabe and his many friends. It was always a bad night when that happened- which was almost every night. It usually ended with Percy bloody and crying into his flat pillow, with his thin blanket wrapped around him doing absolutely nothing to starve off the winter cold. Though, he thinks that the worse nights where when Gabe paid him no attention and his friends would go up to him and speak to him, offer him opened bottles of beer, and sometimes when they were really drunk, their hands, larger than Percy's head would rest on his hip or would caress parts of his body that had him near tears and rushing to his room, his heart pounding with an emotion in between of disgust and fear.
His shoulders got impossibly more tense and he slowly moved away from the opening, the sight of blue roses was the only indication that he wasn't in a disgusting apartment about to be leered at and mocked.
He was just about to turn back around and contempt himself with fifty minutes in the room he was currently staying in when he heard his name.
That had peaked his interest and sparked his anxiety. Had he been caught snooping? Was it his father laughing about him and when he found out Percy was eavesdropping he'd been so upset that he'd stab Percy with his trident and throw him back up to the surface and never bring him back?
The last part sounded quite nice. The former not so much.
Thankfully, (or not) he heard the continuation of the phrase.
“-here. It's ridiculous.” Someone snorted. “How much do you all bet that he begged father to be allowed to come.” That was a familiar voice and one that brought him nothing but frustration. Triton.
He wasn't sure why, but for a moment, he'd hoped that someone from the gardens would defend him, maybe they'd see how hard even being alive was for him and scold them for thinking that way.
No one did.
Instead, there was more cackling laughter. If Percy had to deduce, there were around five people there, laughing about him.
It reminded him strongly of his first few years of camp half blood, before anyone was too terrified to mutter his name in a negative manner.
The other demigods were constantly mocking him and it only got worse once Thalia came back. He always felt out of the loop. Disgrace and shame as well as embarrassment were the only emotions he felt whenever he was there. Like he was a good for nothing, waste of space. Like Gabe had been right and he really was useless.
He could feel that same swirling of emotions in his stomach right now. The one that always left an agonizing ache in his chest and had his head spinning.
Percy knew he should leave, for his own sake. He knew that hearing the merfolk speak about him the way he was spoken about at his weakest would only leave him feeling more vulnerable and depressed.
He didn't leave. He stood there, if maybe even inched a little bit closer to try and deduce who was speaking and to hear even better.
A woman began to speak, her voice painfully high-pitched and he heard the clapping sound of two hands meeting together. “Father, please !” More rowdy laughter. “Please, you must allow me to go! I know I'm your bastard child and a little bitch-” The boisterous cackling raised a few octaves louder and someone fell off their chair from glee which led to even more chortling.
“But you have to let me go! I want everyone to ask me about myself so I can whine like a dolphin about how strong I am and how i deserve everything.” Someone snorted so loudly it sounded like a gunshot.
“Because being a demigod is sooo hard! Everyone is always trying to hurt me!”
“Or fuck me!” It was a man's voice this time which led to even more mocking noises and comments being made. It felt like there was a buzzing in his ears that didn't let him hear the rest of what they were saying. As if his mind had finally snapped and was just refusing to hear any more of it.
The worst part was that the jokes weren't even that insulting. They were too drunk to properly formulate any cutting remarks. But the insults weren't the joke, the joke was him.
It didn't matter that what they were saying was wrong and stupid. Because they were doing all of it to get a kick out of him.
Percy swallowed back the lump in his throat and he hated himself a little more for the well of tears in his eyes as he turned back around, suddenly wishing that he didn't let his curiosity prevail, and ran straight to his room.
He hated every single person in Atlantis, he'd decided once he slammed hi- the door shut and went straight towards the bed.
The tears had eventually fallen at some point and he had to hold back the sobs. At some point he'd grabbed one of his pillows and held it tightly, just to pretend that he was hugging someone. That someone was hugging him. That someone was for once, comforting him, telling him that it was all going to be alright. No one ever did. Not even his mother did that anymore. She was too busy with her new life to deal with her useless son.
Percy just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. He just wanted to die. He hated his life. He hated the studying and the questions and the stares. He hated his mother and he hated his father and he hated both sides of his family so much he felt like he was about to combust with pure hate.
Louay knocked on the door; once, twice, thrice.
He hadn't even realized that almost a whole hour had passed since he'd heard the painfully familiar voices that he was certain were a few of his many immortal siblings making fun of him.
Percy begrudgingly got up and was grateful that he'd never been obvious when crying for Louay only gave him a sweet smile and smoothed his hair down like a mother cat before walking with him to the ball.
Percy did like her, at least he thought he liked her but at that moment he was ready to bash her head in if she smiled or even looked at him one more time.
He didn't acknowledge her goodbye (which was something he would apologize for afterwards but at the moment he didn't feel like doing anything except for sleeping surrounded by heavy blankets and plenty of pillows, and dreaming about a world far better than the one he was born into) as he walked past the doorway into what he had already dubbed as his personal hell.
The whole party was a blur.
He saw the merfolk from the gardens: Triton, Rhode, Benthesikyme, Proteus and Kymopoleia.
He also saw his father, looking at Amphitrite with an affectionate smile and fond eyes as if Percy being there wasn't physical proof that her love was not enough for him.
He sat down, sluggish and disoriented right next to a gaggle of siblings. Unfortunately, he'd been placed next to Kymopoleia who'd been the one to mock him the most in the gardens.
She swirled her drink, a blue and purple concoction before taking a long sip.
“So, Perseus, you got any stories for us?” He heard four identical snorts from their row. He wondered how many times she purposely asked questions to get a laugh for later and he never noticed. His gut churned with embarrassment.
And he didn't understand where she'd gotten the idea that he flaunted his quests and achievements. Percy always did his best to try and get everyone to forget that he was a demigod. It was always awkward reminding mers that he was a bastard.
Usually, he would have snapped back something witty. He'd always thought they had a playful banter thing going on. He never knew that she spoke about him in such a distasteful manner behind his back.
Percy didn't dignify her with a response and simply shook his head while looking ahead.
She frowned, “What's wrong with you?” He would have thought it was a concern yesterday but today he knew she was just trying to find more intel to mock him with.
“Nothing.” His voice was surprisingly sharp and laced with a coldness he doesn't think he's ever directed at her before.
Kymopoleia was clearly taken aback. She looked at him, flabbergasted before turning to stare at the spectacle in front of them; their father and her mother smiling warmly at each other, a juxtaposition to the coldness of their interaction.
“Fine.” Her voice was cutting.
He didn't respond.
None of them spoke to him the whole night. But he caught them glaring darkly at him for even daring to speak to Kymolopeia like that.
Usually, that would leave him feeling dejected but now, the thought of any of them speaking to him would leave him feeling disgusted. But a part of him, for once, desperately wanted his siblings to feel that way for him and not because of him.
Honestly, Percy just wanted to go home. He wanted to be in his house, where there was air and the smell of his laundry detergent that sparked a feeling of home in his chest.
The party lasted the whole night but he only stayed for twenty minutes after their vows were said and done with and the true party began. No one even noticed him leaving. He hated that felt upset because of that. He was certain if Proteus or Rhodesia had left early, everyone would have been concerned.
Percy didn't even bother taking off his chiton and just fell into the bed that was supposed to be his but just felt as unfamiliar and uncomfortable as a hotel bed times ten.
His mind, thankfully, was silent as he laid on his left and stared out at his window. It was the ocean and there was always something happening. At the moment, he was pretty sure he saw two dolphins mating.
After what felt like only a few moments to his mind but practically an eternity on his numb body, he heard his door open.
Maybe if Percy was in a better state of mind, he would have jumped right up, sword in hand to see who was there.
He didn't even twitch when he felt a hand on his back and the overwhelming scent of sea salt and seaweed as well as pure power filled his nose.
Soon, there was the back of a hand placed against his forward.
“You feel cool.” Poseidon murmured softly, “My boy, are you not feeling well?” He swallowed thickly and resisted the urge to tell his father that he never felt well. That his default setting was pain and misery.
Instead, he shrugged and cuddled further into the blankets.
Poseidon sighed and surprisingly, laid down behind him.
The action was so shocking that he lifted his head and looked behind him, a frown on his face. What was his father doing?
Poseidon answered the unspoken question.
“My son isn't feeling well. As your father, it's my duty to make sure you feel better soon.” He smiled but it faded quickly. “Gods know that you deserve it after what you've been through.” Percy laid his head back and spoke through the uncomfortable lump in his throat.
“What about Amphitrite?” He croaked, “It's your anniversary night.”
“One of the many to come and many experienced. I've spoken to her and she is fine with me staying with you, love.” There was a moment of silence before Poseidon wrapped an arm around Percy's stomach and pulled him towards him.
Despite the anger he's certain he'll never stop feeling towards his father, the ache in his chest seemed to almost completely disappear as he nuzzled deeper into the back of his father's chest.
“Go to sleep, my boy.” He pressed a chaste kiss to Percy's forehead.
Despite the never ending pain that was his life, Percy thinks it's moments like these that make it worth it.