Work Text:
fraser
hey fraser
i brought a flask
This is a substance-free space, Ray. These people have put their trust in us by inviting us into their community, and it's our responsibility to respect their boundaries.
i didnt say there was booze in the flask! man you talk such a big game about never makin assumptions but its all just hot air isnt it im disappointed in you
I apologize, Ray. You're right, I shouldn't have assumed. What's in the flask?
booze lol
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imma drink every time someone named alex says the word privilege
Please don't do that, Ray. There are a lot of important items on this meeting agenda; we don't have time to stop and treat you for alcohol poisoning.
i know you didnt do it on purpose but that was actually a pretty sick burn against the alex brigade
It's a very common name, Ray. There's nothing out of the ordinary about three instances of a common given name in a group this size.
remind me again which ones which
Alex P. is the one handling fundraising, Alex S. is the one coordinating actions, and the other Alex S. is in charge of communications.
what
no
you cannot have two people named alex s that defeats the entire purpose of using initials
S is a very common first letter of American surnames. As a matter of fact, it was the second most common first letter for surnames in both the 2000 and 2010 censuses, behind M.
imma drink every time you tell me a fact i didnt need to know
No one *needs* to know facts, Ray. Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.
youre gonna tell me the life story of the bastard who said that now arent you
The quote is frequently misattributed to Yeats due to a poorly framed juxtaposition in James Sweeney's "Vision and Image: A Way of Seeing." However, in actual fact, it's a very loose translation of a passage written by the Greek historian Plutarch.
does he have anything to do with the plutocracy the alex with the pink hair keeps talking about
You know, I'm not sure. Give me a few minutes to look up the etymology.
is THAT how to get you to shut up? just keep asking questions until i make it all the way to the end of your brain?
wait but dont actually tell me about the etymology of the word plutocracy
fraser i can see you typing something very very long and i dont want it do not send that to me
giving you the internet was a terrible mistake
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i think i arrested alex d once
Alex D.? I don't think there is an Alex D. here.
you cant have 2 alex ss fraser it is not reasonable
the d stands for douchebag bc theyre a douchebag
I'm very proud of you for coming around on the use of singular "they," Ray. It demonstrates a laudable commitment to personal growth.
i still think they pronouns are stupid its just that you convinced me english not having a gender-neutral singular third person pronoun is even more stupid
it demonstrates a laudable commitment to not strangling the lectures out of your insufferable face tbh
i got woke in self-defense. cant lecture me if im already on your side
Perhaps I ought to try that approach in addressing your deliberate misuse of capitalization and punctuation in written communications.
screw autocarrot i type like a MAN
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Ray, if you don't stop drinking alcohol, I will confiscate that flask.
no its my emotional support flask the rules dont apply
Shall I bring my emotional support wolf next time, then?
yeah sure lying to the alexes to get around the rules, that sounds like something youd do
Do you know, the other day I had a very illuminating conversation with Alex K. about emotional support companions, and I believe Diefenbaker does in fact fit the definition used by this venue.
oh joy
who the hell is alex k
She's an active member of the community. You met her at the climate change action last week.
no fraser i did not meet ANYONE at the climate change action last week, i was present at the climate change action solely for the purpose of removing YOUR stubborn ass from the climate change action before you got us both suspended, and IF you recall
I'm really not sure what you're trying to accomplish by continuing to recount this incident to me multiple times a day.
just filling up all this copious free time youve so generously arranged for the both of us
oh shit i think alex d might have recognized me, get ready to skedaddle in case they lynch us
That's an extremely inappropriate term to use in reference to white people in general and to white officers of the law in particular. Have you started reading that book I gave you yet?
can you please save it for when were not in mortal danger
oh no never mind theyre just ogling you
I very much doubt that's true, Ray. Alex S. is ceterosexual; I've heard them state plainly that they aren't attracted to cisgender men.
that was the other alex s, i remember bc she gave me a dirty look while she was saying it
It's both of them, actually.
you GOTTA be kidding me
well idk about cetawhatever but that one was definitely ogling you
you dont count anyway, youre an exception to everyones sexual orientation
Now that's just silly, Ray.
yeah? how many "straight" guys have looked at you like they just heard a dog meow and then asked you out for a drink? ballpark in the last month
Well, that's hardly a reliable set of parameters. A lot of people are taken aback by me for various reasons that have nothing to do with sexual or romantic interest, and there are plenty of platonic reasons to share a drink, too. You yourself have invited me out to bars at least twice within the last month—should I take that to mean I'm an exception to your sexual orientation?
shit shit alex d definitely recognized me RUN