Work Text:
Kakashi eyes Iruka. He is laughing with Anko, Izumo and Kotetsu about something at the mission desk. The way his cheeks are flushed, his very aura radiating happiness; Iruka is far too cute. Genma bumps into Kakashi.
“What-“ Genma begins, but notices Kakashi’s eyeline. A smirk spreads around his senbon. “Ah… Just ask him out.” Kakashi keeps his mouth shut. He has noticed many of the jounin pushing him randomly about his relationship -or lack there of- with the chuunin school teacher. Well, he has noticed specific jounin on specific dates will push him. He is trying to look underneath the underneath of it all.
“Preferably in the next 3 days…” Genma mumbles and Kakashi feels something click.
He poofs away in a shunshin. Iruka blinks up at the chakra use.
“Was that Kakashi-san?” Genma nods. Iruka’s lips tighten in a scowl, “Did he give you the report he owes me?”
Genma is about to say no, but looks down at his hand and a scroll clutched in his fingers. “How the fuck…?”
Anko laughs, “You’re the only person who can get that man to comply.”
Iruka rolls his eyes, “That is not true. He’s a jounin of Konoha. He is always complying.”
”You know that’s a lie,” Anko has a glint in her eyes. “But maybe wait… a week or so, before you ask him out okay?”
”What? Why would I ask him out? We see each other regularly enough…” Iruka is blushing a little.
”Yeah, no need to rush! A month is more practical. You like to go slow, right Iruka-sensei?” Izumo says with fake innocence on his face.
Iruka wisely stays silent. He’s thinking about what his friends were all saying. It was very suspicious. Why had Kakashi shunshin-ed away? Why is everyone talking about him dating Kakashi? He figures he will ask Kakashi about it as soon as he saw the man next.
“Tenzou,” Kakashi says in his usual lilting manner. His former subordinate sighs, bracing for whatever comes out of his senpai’s mouth. “Is there a betting pool on when Iruka and I will start dating?”
Tenzou spits out his water. “No!!” Kakashi gives him that look and the younger man immediately crumbles. “Genma and Anko started it… It was just a few people but then… well Tsunade-sama got wind of a gamble and put in a lot of money. The pool is currently… well it’s a lot.”
“Hmmm,” Kakashi slaps Tenzou on the shoulder in appreciation. “Stay on alert for your next orders.” He then disappears just as suddenly as he appeared.
Tenzou’s head hangs and a pathetic sigh escapes his lips. “What have I gotten into?”
Iruka smiles widely at the steaming bowl of soup that Teuchi places before him. He had a long day trying to smack down Konohamaru’s ego. He needs this.
”Yo.” Iruka looks up to see Kakashi enter Ichiraku Ramen and sit directly next to him. It isn’t unusual for Iruka to see Kakashi at this bar. It holds fond memories with Naruto and they both have been missing the surprise ninja greatly since he left to train with Jiraiya.
“Hello Kakashi-san!” Teuchi has a huge smile on his face. His eyes shift from Kakashi to Iruka and back. “Your usual?” There is something in his expression that confuses Iruka, but Kakashi simply nods and settles in.
”What a pleasant surprise,” Iruka says. “Your mission scroll was actually acceptable today, though I’m sorry I couldn’t let you know that in person.”
“Maa, Sensei, I do apologize for leaving so abruptly, but I had to figure something out,” Kakashi says cryptically. Teuchi puts his soup down and lingers close by, which is unusual for the usually busy man.
Kakashi says a little louder than is necessary, “This was an unexpected meeting, but I’m glad to catch you too, I had something to discuss about the upcoming graduating class.”
Teuchi seems to lose his interest at that, or the orders were getting too distracting, and he drifts away.
Kakashi leans close to Iruka and whispers, “Meet me at the memorial stone in 2 hours.”
Iruka looks shocked and tilts his head from side to side, looking to see if anyone else heard that. In the seconds he was looking away, Kakashi finishes his ramen and slaps his payment on the counter. “Wonderful as always, Teuchi-san! Good bye,” he says with an eye smile, a small wave, and suddenly, he’s gone.
Iruka looks down at his soup, which he has not even touched yet and wonders if that was some strange genjutsu. He takes his first bites and the warming, comforting effect is immediate. He figures that there is one sure fire way to determine if this was all real, and it is at the memorial stone.
Iruka walks leisurely to the saddest place in all of Konoha after dinner. He thought that he would have plenty of time, after all, he heard from Naruto for years about how late Kakashi always was to every training.
So it was much to his surprise to see the man solemnly staring down at the oblong monument. Iruka picks up the pace. However, when he arrives, Kakashi doesn’t immediately look up to greet him. Iruka feels like he must be deep in thought, so instead of trying to say anything, he looks down as well.
”I have very disturbing news,” Kakashi finally says, clearly not sure how to begin.
A million thoughts whirl through Iruka's head. Disturbing could mean a number of things when it comes to eccentric jounin.
"Disturbing in what way?"
"Maa… It involves you and me, and perhaps the greater Konoha thinking that we are close to..." Kakashi pauses for effect, unsure how Iruka would take it. "Dating." There is a strange inflection at the end making it sound more like a question.
Iruka blinks owlishly at the revelation. “Is that why Anko and Izumo have been so annoying?”
Kakashi balks and nods.
“Well,” Iruka has a glint in his eyes that Kakashi appreciates greatly. It feels mischievous, “what are we going to do about that?”
”The pool is apparently quite impressive,” Kakashi says with a smile under his mask. “It would be poetic if that money went to the people the bet was about.”
Iruka smiles back even more brightly. “We need an inside man.”
”Tenzou is ready to aid us. He is on call to put a large bet on an available date next week… if you are amenable,” Kakashi says cautiously. He has always had trouble predicting Iruka’s reactions.
Luckily for Kakashi, he has gauged Iruka’s reaction pretty accurately. “I would be honored.” Iruka’s smile is down right devious. Then a more thoughtful look passes over his face. “How should we handle this? We will need to publically begin dating and then… keep up appearances for a little while? People may become suspicious if we made a public display and then nothing…”
Iruka is rubbing his chin in thought as he listed many of the vital points for a successful mission. Kakashi watches him for a little too long and only realizes it after Iruka asks, “how would you like to handle this? I don’t want to step on your feet. I know you are very busy.”
”Maa, Sensei, I’m never too busy for you,” Kakashi says without thinking. He blushes behind his mask, and stares in wonder at Iruka's cheeks blossoming color. He wishes it weren’t so dark so he could see it better. “I will let Tenzou know we are good. Then on Wednesday next week, I will find you. I am definitely more of the wild card in terms of scheduling. You are easy to find.”
”Oh,” Iruka doesn’t seem to be able to articulate for a moment his feelings upon realizing Kakashi knows his schedule. He isn’t sure how he should feel about it, but the bubbling in his stomach implies something he is not quite comfortable putting to words. “So, you will ask me out on Wednesday?” Iruka asks lamely.
”If that is acceptable. We can go out any night you are available. We can make this a script if you want, but I was thinking it would be more natural to just flow,” Kakashi is trying to portray ease and aloofness as he spoke, but his heart was pounding more than usual.
Iruka looks a little skeptical and Kakashi hopes he hasn’t lost his future fake boyfriend. “I think that’s reasonable, but I hope you don’t mind the attention.” He rubs at his scar before also saying, “and we will have to be close.” he says this softly, but Kakashi catches every word.
”Sensei, I have no problem completing this mission,” Kakashi says cryptically. Iruka gives him a look and Kakashi expands, “I think it is smart to have some limits and expectations on the both of us for these dates.”
Iruka nods, “Agreed. I am fine with any meal together, dates, holding hands, hugging, and… well, with your mask, I am not sure how far you want to go, but I think kissing on the cheek will be acceptable?”
Kakashi isn’t sure if Iruka is putting those limits on for Kakashi’s sake or his, so he didn’t feel comfortable saying what he was comfortable with. Which is any and everything he ever read in his Icha Icha novels. “I agree with your terms. They are extremely reasonable. We can keep up the dating until we believe people will not notice us ending it. Some flexibility will be good.”
Iruka seems uncomfortable and finally says, “I have a spare sleeping space as well!” He doesn’t mean to say that so loudly, and he blusters to finish his thought, “I mean, in my home… If we have a later date and… well if we want to show we are close… I’m sure it won’t get to that, but I want you to know the options! I have a spare bed. So… we could sleep over.”
”Maa, how forward!” Kakashi’s smile is wide and he continues, “That’s a great idea. Especially if we need to keep up the charade for longer than expected…” Kakashi feels a tug on his heart and doesn’t want to say it, but he does, “I hope this won’t interrupt any… romantic plans you have?” He knows this is none of his business, but he cannot help how much he leans into Iruka’s response.
”Me?!” Iruka panics and flails at the inquiry. “No, no… no! I don’t have any… I mean… I wasn’t…” Iruka clears his throat and collects his thoughts. Eventually he gets out, “I think this is a wonderful use of my time and any romantic endeavors can wait…”
Kakashi nods. The knowing and gleeful smile hidden behind his mask. “Perfect. I’ll see you on Wednesday, Iruka-sensei.” Before Iruka can respond, Kakashi has disappeared.
“See you… then…” Iruka will eventually get his mind together enough to add ‘no more poofing away’ to his list of must-does for their fake relationship to last. Until then, he walks home full of delicious ramen and full of excitement for a lucrative and exciting prank.
Iruka is a mess in the days, hours and minutes leading up to The Asking. He has spent so long ruminating and fussing and analysing the how and the when that he's Frazzled to the point that the verb has gained its own capital letters. Kakashi on a good day is unpredictable, but the wait is killing him.
The fact that he knows it's coming and for a very specific reason of winning the pot doesn't make things any easier. So when Wednesday rolls around, and he's heading off to his shift at the Mission Desk, Iruka is so unequivocally distracted that he almost doesn't realise that there has been a huge kerfuffle and a traffic jam had congregated around the main doors. The shinobi lingering further down in the hallways all appear to be looking at him, some with awe and others with respect. Something is suspiciously up.
"Hey, what's the hold up?" Iruka calls out.
"Iruka's here!"
"Does he know?"
Iruka most certainly does not, whatever it was that he's supposed to know, when twin arms hoist him from behind, interlocking their elbows.
"Iruka!" Kotetsu says slyly from his right. There's a terrifying look on his face that makes him look constipated. "You sly dog."
"You brave soul," Izumo declares from his left. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"What are you talking about?" Iruka wails as the crowd parts for them, marinating in his confusion. Had Kakashi made his move somehow?
They make it inside and to the front of the queue when Iruka sees what has happened to his usual chair. There are flowers, cardboard cutouts of hearts in various shades of red and pink, and ribbons everywhere. The path leading up to his desk is lined with rose petals and this is it. This is how Iruka is going to die from all the attention because Kakashi is nowhere in sight which can only mean...
"DYNAMIC ENTRY!!"
Doves and heart-shaped confetti erupt from the smoke as Konoha's green beast merges from it, wearing a truly hideous spandex suit that has been dyed pink. Beside Gai is Kakashi, hamming it up and looking bashful with a bouquet of beautiful flowers in his arms, straight from the Yamanaka Flower Shop.
Iruka stares, his brain failing to catch up. "Eh? Huh? WHA— "
Kakashi clears his throat, ears and cheeks turning pink. From behind him Gai flashes a thumbs up, complete with sparkles, and Iruka thinks, 'Oh. This is it', when Kakashi approaches him - sashays slowly, really - as if they were in a film and this is the part where the camera zooms in on them as if they are the only two people in the world that matters even though they are in a room filled to the rafters with terrible, filthy gossips.
"Iruka..." Kakashi murmurs. "I..."
Iruka blushes. He can't help his body's response. "Kakashi...?"
"You have been on my mind a lot recently," Kakashi says, somehow making his rehearsed words sound sincere, and not at all on the brink of winning Konoha's stupid betting pool.
"O-oh? I.... You... You've been on my mind a lot too," Iruka stutters. He's proud that his voice is still so steady and he didn't even have to lie.
"You're the first thing I want to see when I come home, " Kakashi continues, holding the bouquet of flowers out for Iruka. "You're the one that always welcomes me back with a smile.
"And it pains me to know that you don't know how I feel about you. How I've felt about you since the day I met you. So. I finally have the courage to say this--no, to ask this."
Oh, he's good. Iruka can barely breathe from Kakashi's declaration. He somehow treads the line of boyish charm and sincerity so well that even Iruka's heartstrings are pulled. Just a little.
"Yes, Kakashi?" The entire room is watching on and it's as if everything is happening in slow motion.
"Will you g-go out on a d-date with me tonight?" Kakashi stutters out, playing the nervous role so well that Iruka almost forgets that they are in cahoots about this whole charade.
"Oh, Kakashi..." Iruka tears up - for authenticity of course because he's an artist. "I thought you'd never ASK. I have been waiting for so long and I dare not hope...!" Iruka smirks on the inside, trying not to let his amusement bleed into his words. That would give the game up and would be entirely unprofessional.
"Is that a...?"
"Of course! YES!" Iruka casts his flowers aside onto his desk and throws himself into Kakashi's waiting arms.
"Did they just?"
"Way to go, Iruka!"
"Oh, damn! Why didn't it happen next week....there goes an entire B-rank's pay."
The entire room goes ballistic and all of a sudden the room is filled with more doves and confetti that not even the Hokage's presence can bring any order back.
Kakashi whispers a, "We did it!" into Iruka's ear as they twirl slowly around.
Iruka nods and then extricates himself from around Kakashi, happiness glowing from every pore, fuelled by a sneaky successful subterfuge.
Everyone at the mission desk is in uproar as soon as Kakashi and Gai leave. There are doves perched on top of shelves that require shooing, and the queues all wouldn't stop pestering Iruka about his newfound love life or what kind of bet he lost to get the Legendary Copy-Nin to ask him out.
"I honestly don't know," Iruka demures. Let it be known that Kakashi is a veritable genius. None of his closest friends had even suspected that they knew about the betting pool. It had been fun the first ten minutes when he had to ham it up a little and pretend, but he let the next person that asks -- an unrepentant Genma and Raidou in his line -- have it.
"Nyaw, so that you can start planning out what to wear tonight?" Genma drawls and then has the audacity to salaciously wink.
"Genma-san," Iruka says through gritted teeth, feeling the vein in his temple pulse.
"They grow up so quickly don't they," Raidou adds with a grin that pulls at the scars on his face.
Iruka has always considered Raidou the more reasonable of the two - another of his older brother type figures - but not even his casual affection towards him could save the pair from getting an earful.
"Enough! This is a work place! If you are here to gossip about what just happened, please leave or head towards the nearest ready lounge since you all have so much spare time on your hands."
With a grumble, everyone began to settle down and slowly order was restored so that the mission desk's backlog could be cleared.
"Honestly!" Iruka pouts once they hit the first lull of the shift. "What's so fascinating about a date?"
He pretends not to notice the look Izumo and Kotetsu share over his head.
"It's just that...." Kotetsu begins carefully, navigating the landmines of Iruka's infamous temper, "You never date."
"So? Neither does Kakashi and no one seems to be bothering him about it," Iruka grumbles, jiggling with the ink refill for his stamp pad.
"I'm sure someone is," Izumo adds kindly. "But everyone is to a certain extent going to be invested in this because you are a token of Konoha, someone that seems to know everyone, and it's just... well, the biggest name in shinobi history just asked you out!?"
"How come no one is asking me about how I feel about this?"
"Well, that's easily remedied," Kotetsu asks, even though it was quite obvious how Iruka felt about all this, "What's new with you, Iruka?"
"Yeah," Izumo adds with the widest shit-eating grin, "Anything life changing happen in say the last three hours? Like, oh, I don't know, something related to Konoha's most famous and most eligible bachelor? Hmm?"
The loud pair of little shits high five over Iruka who just buries his face in his hands with a loud groan. "I hate you all."
It's Anko at his door later that surprises him. "Can I speak with you for a moment?" she asks, slipping past Iruka before he can even let her in.
"Why yes, please come in," Iruka says sarcastically, as if he wasn't low-key panicking about what to wear tonight; his options were rather limited to his second nicest mission blacks or...
"Okay, spill." Anko says with a hand on her hip and looking annoyed. She seems particularly distracted tonight, but then again, so was the entirety of Konoha. "Did someone put you up to it?"
Iruka tilts his head, unsure of what she is insinuating. "Put me up for...?"
"I don't buy it," Anko says, eyes narrowing as if she could see through the entire scheme. Iruka though is quite apt at dodging her suspicions. He's had an entire genin-career's worth of practise after all. "You're telling me that was all genuine?"
Iruka sighs, running a quick hand through his freshly washed hair. With Anko, it was easiest to run the self-deprecating route or bring up old acquaintances she loved to hate on. "I know, I am just as shocked as everyone. I honestly thought that Kakashi was happy to be friends only. And to think that someone of his rank, of his fame, could like a guy like me... I mean, I'm just a chuunin... How could I ever think that--"
"He's lucky to have you!" She insists. "And you know plenty of people who date outside of their rank."
'Gotcha', Iruka thinks with a smile that he hopes comes out at least genuine and not deranged at having fooled his friend. 'Hook, line, and sinker.' "I know, it's just..." Iruka makes a vague gesture in the air. "You don't approve of Kakashi and I dating?"
"No! No.. That's... not it," Anko says, pulling a face.
"Then what's wrong? You know we will still be friends."
"It's... aah. I have to go. I forgot to… go to the laundromat. Bye." She finishes lamely and beats a hasty retreat, leaving Iruka to stare in her wake and deal with his own wardrobe dilemma all on his own.
Kakashi frowns at the choices of outfit available to him, each of his pairs of mission blacks are in various states of battlescarred and worn. Maybe he ought to nip down and hope that there was a spare set at the equipment acquisition office.
Now that the first phase of the plan was wonderfully acted and spectacularly accepted, it was time for the second phase. Infinitely more enjoyable knowing that Iruka had agreed to the Plan and the Date.
After all, is there anything more exciting than knowing the person that you like and have a massive crush on has just agreed to go out on a date? Kakashi could think of nothing that he wanted more in the world than to spend time with Iruka. Even if it is for the sake of a stupid bet, Kakashi is the true winner here.
He's interrupted by the sound of someone wrapping their knuckles against the window. It's Tenzou, and when Kakashi lets him in, he hands over a sack of ryo. It's a heavy sack of winnings from the bet and definitely enough to pay for the Date (and then some more Ichiraku dinners).
"What are you going to bring, senpai?" Tenzou asks, looking as Kakashi chooses his best set of mostly bloodstain free clothes.
"Bring?" Kakashi asks, if he hadn't even thought about that since he first thought about taking Iruka out for a meal (with Intention). "Why, I'm bringing myself. Is that not enough?"
Tenzou looks suitably unimpressed - which is a bit of a low blow given that their idea of a DATE couldn't necessarily be conventional. "Really, senpai. You think that's enough?"
Kakashi frowns. Well that was just rude.
Like all good love stories it begins with a hot bowl of noodles. Iruka had already been waiting, having arrived earlier; Kakashi was berated for being late. But from the exasperated and fond eye roll, Iruka had been expecting that sort of thing.
Ichiraku was busier than usual that night - no doubt multiple pairs of eyes there were trained on the biggest topic of conversation and gossip - ranging from their friends who all seemed to have developed a love for ramen quite recently down to a table of merchants who look flummoxed by the influx of people. Perhaps they had come for a promise of quiet on the recommendation from a friend and clearly hadn't expected Konoha to turn out in force. Not while gossip was on the line.
"Maa, Sensei. I had to make sure that I looked my best for you," Kakashi murmurs, slipping into the seat next to Iruka. He had gone with his best set of mission blacks and was late because he had been moving all his weapons from one flak jacket to another; this one wasn't broken in as much but it certainly wasn't soaked in blood and guts of unknown origin. "and here, I also have a gift for you."
Kakashi slides the parcel across the counter, wrapped in butcher's paper and tied up with some chakra wire.
Iruka softens but looks inordinately pleased. "ME? You shouldn't have.... I didn't get you anything."
Kakashi shrugs his shoulder, easy because Iruka already gave him the gift he'd always wanted by showing up at all.
"I wasn’t expecting one."
"Should I open it now?"
"That's up to you, Sensei."
Iruka carefully picks the chakra wire free - carefully spooling it for use again later - and then the packaging opens up, like a flower, to reveal a small pouch shaped like a dolphin. “I noticed Naruto’s frog coin pouch… He told us on a mission that you gave it to him. I figured, you could have a similar matching one to show him when he returns.”
Iruka blushes and is actually speechless at the thoughtfulness of the gift. “That’s… very sweet of you.”
”I can be sweet, sometimes.”
”Apparently.”
”I save it only for special people. Of whom there are very few.” Kakashi says a little too honestly.
Teuchi steps in smoothly with their orders before things could become more serious.
"I took the liberty of ordering for you," Iruka says, cheeks blushing. "Since you always get the miso ramen."
Something within Kakashi warms. It was one thing for Iruka to agree to their arrangement and another for him to show up knowing his ramen order. "That's very thoughtful of you, Sensei."
By all accounts, the date is going well. Iruka is clearly trying to keep a lid on his infamous temper and Kakashi himself is doing his best not to appear like the besotted buffoon he clearly is.
Iruka’s hand brushes the dolphin coin purse again and he recalls a major part of their deal. "There was a question I had for you," Iruka comments as if he were about to launch into a lecture of something mundane. His eyes trained on Teuchi and Ayame, working in synchronised tandem to serve all the bowls to their rise in customers.
"Ask away."
"But perhaps it is a little indelicate given the... Situation."
"Ask anyway." Maybe it is something sexy. Kakashi doesn't know if Iruka is going to ask about something of that nature on their first date. My, he’s forward.
"Your... Acquaintance." Iruka swirls the tea in his cup. "Did they.... Find any trouble with the arrangement?"
Ah. Kakashi hopes he doesn't appear too crestfallen. "Is it always business with you, Sensei?"
Iruka rolls his eyes. "How would I know? We went through your acquaintance after all."
"My kouhai," Kakashi corrects. "He would never double-cross me like that." There is too much shared trauma for that and Tenzou himself is already sitting on a fortune himself. "He arranged everything with me this afternoon. It's partially one of the reasons I'm late."
Iruka’s hand reaches out to touch the edge of Kakashi's sleeve, leaning in close like he is about to whisper sweet nothings into his ear. This close proximity already has Kakashi's senses going haywire. But this? Physical touch? It is on a whole other level entirely.
"After your acquaintance accepts his cut, we're splitting the rest right?"
"But of course."
"And you aren't going to do anything funny with it?"
"You deeply wound me, Sensei," Kakashi says, running a gloved hand over the scroll pocket, where his heart would lay under death. "You would doubt me?"
"Have you given me cause to trust you? My ass is on the line, same as you." Iruka flashes him a grin, dangerous.
"And I thought you would have changed your mind and fallen for my charms over the course of dinner." Kakashi couldn't help teasing. "I'll pass your share along to you tonight. It’s all currently at my place." and then he leans in close this time to whisper in Iruka's ear. "That way we can keep up pretenses that we're madly in love and about to keep all my neighbours up. You seem the type to be loud. Certainly Konoha has had the pleasure of learning both your impressive range and lung capacity."
"You pervert!" Iruka squeaks, face going a delightful shade of red that Kakashi is going to have to start an entire gallery dedicated to capturing the right shades.
They finish their meal with silly smiles and shared banter, with just the right amount of sexy flirting to befit a pair of newly dating ninja. Iruka watches Kakashi pay, knowing the money is from their shared win, so not eager to offer up any of his own cash to split.
The crowd watches as they leave together, hand in hand, walking towards the jounin barracks, and Iruka has to resist turning back around and beating up whoever woof whistled. Luckily, Kakashi’s hand keeps him firmly grounded in his mission.
Get to Kakashi’s. Get his money.
They arrive quickly and Kakashi doesn’t immediately release Iruka’s hand. They both feel the cold loneliness when eventually they aren’t touching.
“Well, here’s the pot,” Kakashi says, pointing to his small table where a mountain of paper bills is stacked into two neat piles. Iruka’s mouth gapes open at the amount.
”They bet that much on us?!”
Kakashi raises a brow, “well, I am fairly well known and you are the Village Prince. Apparently there were over 100 bets placed. This was only 80% of the winnings. Other people bet on the days before and after and get a smaller prize.” That doesn’t help Iruka’s shock ‘Village Prince’ on replay in his mind. “And I gave a small cut to Tenzou of course.”
Iruka could only nod. He isn’t used to seeing so much money. Being a teacher is rewarding in other ways, certainly not the monetary kind, and mission room duty is just that. A duty. Iruka takes a small paper seal from his pocket and asks for an ink pen. Kakashi provides them and watches as the man writes a seal with the ease and proficiency of an expert. He seals almost all his half into the paper, and places it and the few bills left unsealed into his dolphin pouch.
“A very practical gift,” Iruka pats the dolphin’s full belly and smiles at Kakashi.
Kakashi thinks that he would buy Iruka a million stupid gifts if it kept him smiling like that.
”Well,” Iruka looks awkwardly around him, “do you mind if I do some grading while we wait an appropriate amount of time until I leave?” Kakashi’s heart sinks slightly at that, knowing that they are unlikely to make out or cause the scene he promised at dinner.
”Always the worker… I don’t mind, of course.” Kakashi takes out his Icha Icha and reads while Iruka works. He enjoys the company, and at least he could imagine Iruka in place of the character in his book.
They are not restricted to only lunch and dinner dates at Ichiraku, though those too have their frequency increased to the point that Kakashi is starting to think they are single-handedly funding Teuchi's retirement, should that time come in the far-flung future.
Iruka is a surprisingly thoughtful boyfriend, something that Kakashi already suspected but was getting to observe first hand. For every public mission that Kakashi set off on, Iruka would be there to see him off, no matter what time of day. And it wouldn't just be a clone that Iruka sends along.
"You need to stay safe," Iruka murmurs when he pulls Kakashi to one side - much to his team's amusement.
"I sometimes don't have a say in that," Kakashi responds wryly, trying his level best to not indulge in the mindset of the village bound Kakashi and instead become the one he usually assumes as soon as his sandals are on the road, kicking up little dust.
"Then you'll just have to let them know your furious boyfriend would have a thing or two to say to them should they be so unfortunate as to encounter me." Iruka plants his hands on his hips, in a pose that Kakashi finds endearing. When Iruka has something -or someone- to protect it is an adorable thing to behold. Not that Kakashi couldn't take care of himself - evidenced by his exemplary record - but it certainly was.... Novel and rather nice to have someone to come home too.
"Maa, Sensei," Kakashi drawls, reaching out to take Iruka's hands, just for show of course in the interest of their continual charade against Konoha. The merchants behind them were running through the last of their pre-departure checks. "It's an escort mission. We will be fine." He brings Iruka's hands up to kiss the knuckles through his mask.
"Did you bring the-"
"Yes," Kakashi says, having pinned the omamori charm Iruka had thrown at Kakashi's head the last time. "It is safe. I promise to come home. To you."
Iruka flushes, cheek and ears going pink as the sun begins to rise over Hokage Rock behind them. "Good."
One of Kakashi's teammates called out - something about letting his boyfriend go so they could set off - forcing Kakashi to regrettably let go of Iruka's hand. "Try not to miss me too much. I'll be back home before you know it."
"You try not to miss me too much," Iruka retorts and then leans up to bus a soft kiss at the juncture between skin and mask. "Come back home to me in one piece and I won't hunt you down."
"Yes, boss." And then Kakashi pulls away, eager to avoid dismemberment by his fake boyfriend. (Even though as far as endings go, that wouldn't be too bad.)
Kakashi does not moon. He does not pine, no matter what his traitorous friends and teammates seem to think about him doing just that.
It gets to the point where the merchants are raucously laughing and joining in on the teasing. Perhaps, it was a sign of humanity that even a prolific assassin such as Kakashi could find something so simple and wonderful as love.
Kakashi grumbles from his high perch in the trees as camp is made, blaming the burning and reddening on his ears on the sun that had been shining upon them the entire day.
Definitely nothing to do with all the teasing about him and Iruka at all. Nope.
The return journey doesn't take long, aside from a brief battle or three with mid-tier enemy-nin. None of them would be left to hear of or receive Iruka's threats.
Kakashi feels his heart soar the closer they get to the main gates, the pit of anxiety all but dissipating in his gut when he sees Iruka standing in the shade, holding a navy furoshiki by his side. His fingers are strangely bandaged which could really only mean one thing.
"I'm home," Kakashi says once he splits from his team with promises of catching up with them later to debrief and write a report he has no intention of starting himself.
Iruka sweeps his eyes over Kakashi, taking in the dirt and the scratches on his arm that had scabbed over. "You look to be in more or less one piece. Welcome back."
"Did you miss me?"
"Did you?"
Kakashi eyesmiles, lowering his tone to answer. "Did I make it back for lunch?"
Iruka hesitates for a moment, his hand twitching on the knot of the furoshiki. "I thought you might be hungry, so I made a few things. They probably aren't very good, but I wasn't sure if you'd want--"
"I want." Kakashi is quick to assure. "Anything you make, I want. Do you have time to accompany me, Sensei? Perhaps we can eat it together? "
Iruka smiles and then bumps shoulders with Kakashi. "I know just the place."
They wander out to the Memorial Park where it is quiet and still, with only the leaves rustling overhead for company. Iruka has clearly been busy - the amount of food on display in the bento boxes between them on the stone bench is enormous - making Kakashi salivate; anything would beat having to eat dry ration bars.
"It's nothing fancy but..." Iruka bites down on his lip, a blush working its way down his neck. The shadows of the leaves dance over his face. "I thought it would be nice if you got something homecooked - even if I am not a great cook."
Kakashi grins behind his mask, waggling his one eyebrow. He picks up one of the discarded lids and a pair of chopsticks to divy up Iruka's home cooked meal. "Seems to me you want to know what's behind the mask, Sensei."
"Ack!" Iruka flails his hands out making motions for no. "That is not my intent. I was definitely not angling for that."
Kakashi waves it off with a laugh, looking back fondly on their young students and finding that he missed those days. Things had been simpler then somehow. "Then however will we kiss if you don't angle for that?"
"K-KI-KI-KISS?!" Iruka screeches, loudly enough that the nearby birds all startle and take flight. There are one or two shadows that also seem to falter too - interesting. Definitely some rather bored jounin were keeping tabs on them. Perhaps still doubting the authenticity of their date, huh? Well. Kakashi would just have to do something about that.
Kakashi nods enthusiastically. "You didn't think that one day we might go so far as to do other things as well?"
"Your mind is filthy and perverted," Iruka moans behind his hands that are covering his hot face. "Why did I agree to this in the first place?"
Kakashi conceded that point - hard to argue with that really when that is precisely the cultivated persona he projects to the world at large. "My, how forward indeed sensei. I was thinking that perhaps you would want to hold hands." He takes the opportunity to stuff his face with Iruka's meal before anyone can see his face.
Iruka pauses and then sits ramrod straight with his hands on his knees, looking incredulous. "You're being serious?"
Kakashi nods his head, his shaggy hair waving with the motion. He'd need to give it a trim later when he was home lest he also need to tie his hair up like Iruka.
"Hand holding is critical for dating someone," Kakashi says solemnly after swallowing his mouthful. "Icha Icha Tactics says so. So what do you say? Think you can handle that, boyfriend? There's no need to be shy." he wiggles his fingers for good measure.
Iruka stares at his hand like he had never seen it before, an expression on his face that seemed to not be convinced by the need to touch for the sake of the charade as fake boyfriends.
"You're incredible." Iruka says in awe, looking dumbly at Kakashi's hand and then reaching out to catch Kakashi's fingers with his.
"I am." Kakashi preens a little and laces their fingers together the rest of the way. He's happy in a way he can't explain, but is certain Iruka has something to do with that.
Kakashi would simply commit every little moment to memory for now right up until the moment they parted ways amicably to become just friends again.
—-
“That was entirely too close.”
“I didn’t expect it to be Iruka ,” The voice says the name with venom, “that would sense us. They always said he had eyes in the back of his stupid head. Bet that ponytail is hiding some gross, weird eyes.”
The first voice laughs, agreeing, “I bet! Anyway, luckily Kakashi seems entirely distracted by that lowlife.”
“I CANNOT believe that dick finally has someone precious enough to target.”
“Precious and weak. He has no clue how easy he just made this for us.”
Their laughter fills their cavern-headquarters/hide-out. “This revenge will be so sweet. Two rotten, jerk Sensei in one!”
—-
When the Academy finishes up for the term a few days later, Iruka finds himself still entirely too busy. Between his shifts at the desk and having Kakashi accompany him everywhere, he's not had the chance to be lonely. It's... Nice.
But just because Iruka is dating one of Konoha's strongest of not strangest agents, he can't become complacent in his own training. After all, Kakashi, the man who spends more time outside the village than in it, would understand the importance of a well stocked safehouse. And all of them needed to be constantly monitored and managed.
"You're going on a mission?" Kakashi asks when Iruka brings it up to him over udon at lunch.
"Yep," Iruka says simply. "You know the maintenance of our outposts usually gets foisted off for chuunins and genins."
"It could be dangerous," Kakashi trails off, a thoughtful glint in his eye, as if he's considering coming along.
"Hardly as dangerous as what you get up to." Iruka glares at Kakashi. "I've done this between terms for years, well before we started.... Dating. It'll be fine."
Kakashi doesn't look entirely convinced but wisely doesn't say much else. "Just be careful.”
It is a novelty that this time around, Kakashi is the one seeing Iruka off at the main gate. Izumo and Kotetsu have shouldered their packs and Kakashi easily ignores their painfully obvious stares; he only has eyes for Iruka. The three man team were well equipped to do their maintenance mission, but Kakashi couldn't quite put his finger on why it is so ill advised having Iruka outside of the safety of the walls of Konoha.
"Do you have everything?" Kakashi wonders if he can tag along. He's not wholly convinced that they'll be able to handle any threats. Not that he could let Iruka know he was doubting their abilities. But he was doubting their abilities.
"Yes," Iruka says, amusement slowly turning into annoyance. "We have enough food. We will be back before you know it." Something in Iruka eases and he reaches out to take Kakashi's hands in his. "You're adorable when you fret. I'll be fine."
Kakashi whines low in his throat. "Be careful, Sensei. You're not the one that will have to tell Naruto if something happens to you."
"I'll be fine," Iruka repeats again and then lets Kakashi's hands go. "Ittekimasu." I'm off.
"Itterasshai." Please go and come back. The word sticks in the back of his throat, each syllable unfamiliar upon Kakashi's tongue. He hasn't had to use those words in a very long time.
His own convalescence was soon coming to an end. Kakashi could only hope that Iruka and his friends would be finished with their mission by the time he returned; Kakashi had strangely grown accustomed to Iruka greeting him at the gate and brining a meal to share.
Working alongside his friends on a mission is refreshing. There is fresh air and no responsibilities to have to worry about: only survival and their mission.
"Soooo, how are things with you?" Izumo asks during their break at a little tea spot just south of the border.
Iruka pretends he is more interested in his wagashi than his gossiping friends.
"He looked mighty worried," Kotetsu adds, tapping his chin.
"We had a chat," Iruka concedes after more pestering. "Now he knows what it feels like on the other side."
Izumo snickers and finishes the last of his dango. "Looks like we can pass on the duties of being worried about you to your famous boyfriend."
"Oh fuck off." There is no heat in his words and he pretends to fuss with his pack so that he could hide the blush on his face. "Who knows if we will even last that long?"
"The way I see it," Izumo says sagely, "Is that he's been absolutely smitten with you since like forever."
Iruka stares at Izumo like he's grown an extra head. That's news to him. Kakashi likes him? Since forever?
They're so caught up with the conversation, that they don't see the ambush coming until it's too late.
Sandaled feet wander into Iruka's blurry line of vision. His head hurt massively.
"That's him. We got him."
"Good. The new bingo book mentioned a lover... Hatake Kakashi will finally know the meaning of pain."
The voices are unfamiliar, a dialect twang that Iruka's fuzzy mind can't pinpoint. Though he will try anything to help him figure out who his captors are.
"Take him with us."
And then there's something sharp stabbing into Iruka's neck, his consciousness bleeding out into the ground.
"Something's wrong."
No news in Kakashi's life has someone started a conversation with those two words that have led to nothing being wrong, least of all when it's Tenzou delivering it to him upon arrival through Konoha's gates with that grim look on his face.
“Report." Kakashi said calmly, even though he was only just back from his own grueling mission.
"It's Iruka. His team has gone missing. They didn't make it to the first outpost."
Kakashi feels his entire world shatter, and fights with himself for control. It wouldn't do for him to lose it right then and there, not while Iruka's life is on the line. "I'm going back out there." Kakashi shuts it down, compartmentalises and refocuses.
"Senpai." Tenzou looks like he is about to argue about Kakashi's exhausted state but thinks better of it. "I'm coming with you."
Good. He isn't about to waste more time arguing when it could be better spent going after the bastards that did this. And when Kakashi found them, he's going to have ‘words’ -a choice jutsu or two- to shove where the sun doesn't shine.
The pair of them take to the trees with Tenzou in the lead, making a direct line to the last known coordinate.
The list for those that wish ill-will on Iruka is short. He has left many disgruntled after his infamous scoldings, but he is so imminently likeable that Kakashi is hard pressed to think of someone who would go to such lengths.
Could it perhaps be a paramour? In which case, that could make sense of the lengths with which they are going to ensure that Iruka stays away from Kakashi. They, of course, have mistakenly underestimated one of the best and finest shinobi that Konoha has ever produced. And have sorely mistaken how far Kakashi would go for love - well - what had started out as fake love which so clearly has become real love.
It was hard to pinpoint the emotion within him over their weeks of fake dating, but Kakashi highly doubts indigestion could last this long.
Tenzou, though, seems to have cottoned on. He had been trained far too well in not mentioning it to his senpai. It doesn't stop all the knowing looks he throws Kakashi's way even as they travelled quickly through the tree canopy.
They fall into a little clearing. There is an outpost building for the nearby mining works that is still in use. Except today, it has been abandoned. Isn’t it a work day? Is there an ambush up ahead? How awfully convenient. The strong scent of iron is in the air and it made Kakashi want to sniff and claw at his nose.
Hopefully, they wouldn't be there for very long.
"What could Iruka sensei be doing here?" Tenzou muses, looking about. Not too far in the distance is the quarry, dug using simple earth jutsu. "Should we split up?"
"Meet back here in an hour if you find nothing. If you find… anything… signal with the tag." He tosses the alert tag to his cute recruit.
"Roger that." And as swiftly and quietly as they arrive, they split up.
Iruka slowly comes to with a stifled groan. His head is pounding something terribly, as if his most rambunctious students had decided to enthusiastically dance upon it.
There is no natural light coming from anywhere, and in the corner there is a singular candle doing its best.
Whomever his captors are, had thoughtfully left Iruka on some straw behind some iron bars. They had done a real number to this place. Really made it feel warm and homey.
Iruka slowly levers himself up into a sitting position with his back against the rock wall, clutching at his poor head. His hitai-ate was nowhere to be seen, leaving his forehead strangely cold.
Well. So much for going on a mission.
Iruka sighs, feeling shame and self doubt cloud him for a moment. He doubts any of his friends will let him out of their sight - especially the man he currently calls his fake boyfriend; he wasn't going to ever live this down.
He doesn't have to wait long to find out the identity of his kidnappers.
“I trust you had a good rest, Iruka- sensei ?” The vitriol in his title was palpable.
The couple that steps out into the light are unknown to Iruka. It is highly likely that they are shinobi, for they have the tail-tell leaf headband, however the leaf was crossed off. So missing nin. He wonders if they are high level Anbu at some point. But judging from their skills and Iruka being very much alive, Iruka is leaning more towards a lesser rank. Perhaps former genin?
"You have me at a clear disadvantage. Who are you?" Iruka asks.
The woman shook her head. "We're not so stupid to give you information to work with."
Iruka shrugs, mentally working out how many hours he could have been out for. How long would it be before someone sounds the alarm that he has gone missing. If he doesn't show up for his classes on Monday, then he would have to endure probably two days and some pocket change before anyone would be suspicious.
"Why go to all this trouble of kidnapping me? I'm no one."
The couple exchanges a look and bursts into laughter. "Oh, Iruka-sensei." The man says this time, smacking at the iron bars with his hand. "You are very much a someone now. Here you can have a look for yourself."
Iruka frowns when a copy of the Bingo Book is thrown into the cell. Those listed at the very beginning are unsurprisingly the elite shinobi across the nations, and while Kakashi is famous for his Sharingan, there are also a multitude of others that has quite the Bounty listed underneath their profile.
He quickly scanned each page and kept his shock and err completely hidden -he hopes- when he sees under Kakashi’s description:
Lover: Umino Iruka, chuunin academy teacher, specialty, unknown.
He flips quickly around to other pages and hopes he didn’t react, but worries there was some hint when the man says, "See something there?"
Iruka shakes his head, leafing through it from cover to cover. He's found that if you pretend to not know, thugs like his kidnappers will eventually spill their plan out. He hopes his acting is up to par.
"What is he, slow?" the woman spits out like one of Anko's viper summons. He silently congratulates himself on the act.
"Perhaps opposites attract," the man shrugs. "Hatake Kakashi is a genius so maybe he likes a chuunin simpleton to boost his already huge ego."
Iruka flicks back to the front to the dog-eared page in the bingo book again, unsurprised to see Kakashi's masked face staring back up at him. It had been a long while since Iruka had flipped through one of them. There are usually a few up-to-date copies in the Mission Room for those looking to go test their luck bounty hunting, but clearly this was hot-off-the-press. He would have definitely known about his name being listed. He still tried to play off not knowing his name was written on the page.
After only a moment, the man spills a little bit of background, "He took everything away from us."
"And now it's time for us to pay him in kind.”
Iruka looks at the pair. They honestly could use a few pointers in kidnapping. But to kill someone? They don't look the type. Why bother spending all that time on exposition when he could already be dead, the blood oozing out of his wounds.
Not that he is complaining about not being murdered. Ideally he wouldn’t die, even if he accidentally goads them into it. Because then that would tragically mean not being able to spend big on Naruto when he returns from his training with the winnings from his stupid fake relationship. A fake relationship that, so it seems, was potentially what will get him murdered.
So this calls for a different tactic: De-escalate the situation, bide his time until help comes. Since their target seems to be Kakashi, not himself, he could probably use that. He is either live bait or maybe a bargaining chip for money, or, and he hopes not, just petty revenge and is slated for murder.
"I don't think you want to kill me," Iruka says, trying to exude calmness from the memories he had with the Third, one of the most famous diplomatic shinobi he knew. “It seems you have a grudge against another. I can assure you, I have never given up on another shinobi. It is part of the shinobi way, my shinobi way. I cannot say what someone I may or may not be dating thinks or justify their past actions. I can bring these grievances back to the highest level in the council though. If you kill me, I cannot help you.”
He hopes his reasons are going to be as compelling to his kidnappers as they are to Iruka himself. He honestly would like to know why they are so mad and maybe it can be used to prevent more missing-nin like them.
“What would you, Konoha scum, know about the shinobi way?”
"I work at the Academy. That means--"
"We know what the Academy is," the woman snarls. "We went through the same shit that everyone else did all in the name of Konoha's ‘Will of Fire’."
Iruka brightens. "Then you understand that everyone's path in life is different. We can't all be the best shinobi. It is better off leaving those roles to the insanely gifted and most hard-working of shinobi." Yes, long ago as a young genin, he may have had aspirations to become a member of the ANBU, or chosen as part of an elite gang of specialist sent off on missions in the far flung reaches of the continent, but now he understood that isn't possible. Maybe these young people were upset they couldn't advance. "The Will of Fire is what unites us all, and every iota of effort is appreciated--"
"Shove that Will of Fire where the sun doesn't shine," the guy adds. "We were never appreciated."
Iruka isn't perturbed by the jibe. These two were likely jaded and misguided. He's seen plenty of those walk through the Mission room floor. Sometimes all that's needed is a good reminder of what it was that they were protecting. Everyone had something precious to fight for. What they need is hope. "Everyone contributes to the best of their abilities - that includes you - and while yes, I can agree that acknowledgment is harder to come by when it is not built into our systems, but that's what stands us apart from the other hidden villages. Credit is given where credit is due by the villagers. By the mission staff, or at least when I work there."
Iruka was hoping the words he was saying resonated with his captors. If they didn't appeal to their greater nature, then he may have to resort to Plan B: unleashing the full fury of a reformed prankster. It had been far too long since he's wrecked havoc with just some well placed seals and some chakra wire. During his speech, he has been considering how to implement his traps.
He was slightly rusty, but, luckily, Naruto hadn’t left the village so long ago, and that boy had brought back so many of those youthful memories.
It had been what endeared himself to Naruto back when he was still painting and graffiti-ing all over town, leading to Iruka yelling at him. It had left them both happy; he missed Naruto terribly and hoped that wherever the terror was. Clearly, Iruka is coping well without Naruto.
“Don't worry, Umino-sensei, You’ll be safe here. I can’t say the same about your lover,” the man said. “I doubt he would even recognize us, that bastard. We will have the element of surprise ready for when he comes here looking for you.”
And there it is. Iruka is pretty sure now that he will not be getting through to the pair. None of his words were making any headway, but at least all the talking at loosened their lips enough to spill a bit more about their plan. They left quickly after that.
He is bait.
Kakashi is meant to find him here and then… Iruka assumes he would be used by the pair to weaken Kakashi. Would the man take that bait? They aren’t actually dating. But Kakashi cares about his fellow shinobi. And he apparently cares a bit more for Iruka than Iruka thought.
Kakashi’s reaction is not important! Iruka reminds himself that what is important is him getting himself out of this situation before Kakashi has any choice in the outcome.
He assesses his situation. He could still see the backs of the pair of young adults as they left the cage’s bars. They are young, probably not even 18. Iruka wonders how they know Kakashi. They couldn’t have graduated the academy that long before Iruka for his first classroom. He recalls that there were a few teams that were failed by Kakashi. Perhaps they are failed genin?
Iruka looks around the cell, it is fairly large and he is not tied up. He gets up silently, feeling slightly dizzy, but it clears quickly. There isn’t anything by the straw in the cage and some chains. Looking around just outside the cage reveals where his flack vest went. However, the enemies did not check his pants’ seam, nor his sandals.
Iruka wonders how they even graduated with such weak skills. Kidnapping isn’t exactly a genin skill to teach, but he always lets his students know all the best hiding places. Maybe he shouldn't in case some become missing-nin.
He muses this as he gets out his papers, wires, and blood pen. His ink one being in his vest. He pricks his finger and the pen draws up some blood. He starts to create one of his old favorite tricks. He recalls when he first used the ‘shock-no-jutsu’ seal on another genin who was making fun of Iruka for not having the “super cool” lightning element.
The shock on his face when Iruka went to shake his hand and the kid felt the electricity pulse through him. Iruka can’t stop the smile that spreads across his face at the memory. He adds more umph to this seal, and to the next, and to the third. Them being made in blood will also create more power.
He sets up the seals on the bars and runs some chakra wire down them and throws them as far away from the bars as possible. He then goes to examine the chains set into the wall of what he presumes to be the back of a relatively shallow cave. Iruka cannot see direct sunlight, the singular candle being his own source of light, but there is a slight glow off the turn in the cave up ahead, so either the duo has a powerful light source, or it’s still daytime.
The chains are brittle from age and disuse. Iruka knows they must have found this cave and wonders who set it up. He pulls on the chain, and the bolt connecting it to the wall immediately falls out. Parts of the chain are still fairly solid, and Iruka winds it around his fist and wrist.
”What now?!” The woman’s voice echos.
”I’ll check it out.” Iruka smiles, adrenaline coursing in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time. He blows out of the candle. “What the hell is going on? Why’s it so dark-“ The man is immediately shut up as his jaw clenches shut with the pulse of electricity. He barely manages to reach the bars, his feet having hit the wires to send the initial pulse, but as soon as he touches the bars with the actual paper attached, his muscles lock up.
”I’ll make a note that this maybe a bit too powerful next time.” Iruka stops the chakra elemental conversion seals by stopping his chakra flow into the chakra wire he still held in one hand. The man was frozen still from the shock. Iruka was only slightly worried about his heart, but tried to shut down that part of his brain. He needs to focus on escape.
He reaches blindly into the man’s pockets and finds the keys. He is able to unlock the door just in time for the woman’s voice to alert him just in time of her presence in the dark.
”What the fuck did you do?!” She snarls and her short blade is just barely deflected by the chain on Iruka’s fist. He doesn’t think that chain will withstand another direct blow, so he quickly evades her wild next swing and reaches his flank vest.
He pulls out a kunai just in time to block her attack. She is very skilled, and her combination has him dropping his vest and backing into the bars again. He cannot get trapped back into the cell, and so he makes a calculated decision.
Instead of dodging her next swing, he moves towards her, letting the blade catch his side, but not in the direct hit she intended, as she had expected him to block or dodge. The momentary pause allows Iruka to slip past her side and bolt for the other side of the cave.
He is glad his previous assessment was accurate, as the cave entrance isn’t far from the bend. The woman is gaining on him, and he makes a decision to run, not engage. He cannot risk capture again and being used as bait for Kakashi. His heart gives a strange little beat at the thought of the man looking for him, worried about him. It feels nice.
He puts everything he has into his feet to boast his speed and he keeps some distance from her.
Before long, a small pug is by his side. “Yo, kid.”
”Pakkun?” Iruka barely has time to say before Kakashi is behind him, already engaging with the woman.
She has an unexpected reaction for Kakashi. She begins to laugh, unhinged and mirthless. “YOU BASTARD! You ruined our lives! Why couldn’t you accept us on your team?! We were the best! The BEST!” She is fighting Kakashi with everything she has, but is sloppy in her emotional state.
Kakashi’s face is stone, and it scares Iruka. He knows, theoretically, about Kakashi as a cold blooded killer, but to see it first hand is something he didn’t know he didn’t want.
Iruka is able to sneak up to her while she is in entangled with Kakashi and perform his ‘sleep-no-jutsu’. She is out cold on the floor before Kakashi can murder her. Iruka is slightly worried that even though she is down, Kakashi would not snap out of whatever trance he is in, but as soon as she falls, his eye smiles.
Iruka breathes out in relief.
”Iruka-sensei,” Kakashi moves forward and hugs him. Iruka is shocked, but gladly returns the gesture.
A clearing throat breaks their blissful reunion. It’s Tenzou dragging the body of the man.
Iruka can’t stop himself from saying, “Don’t kill them!”
Both Tenzou and Kakashi give him a look and Iruka blushes.
”Maa, you’re too softhearted, Sensei. They deserve to die for what they did.”
Iruka scoffs and rolls his eyes. “They are incompetent and barely did any harm to me whatsoever. They felt betrayed by you and by Konoha. We need to bring them back and try to help them.” They both give Iruka another look and Iruka presses more. “If not to change their minds, at least to see why they defected. We can use them to study and better ourselves.”
That seemed to be a more convincing argument, because Tenzou nodded thoughtfully.
“Fine, but we should get you back as soon as possible.”
”I said I’m fine.” Iruka says with a little glare, though his heart flips in betrayal. Stupid thing always craving attention.
”Pup,” Pakkun says in his deep slow speech, “you aren’t fine. That lady had something on her blade and you’ve been cut. It’s slow acting, but not that slow.”
Kakashi’s eye widens and Tenzou moves to pick up the woman as well, to keep her away from his former captain. “What?!”
Iruka takes a deep breath. “It’s not the first time I’ve been poisoned and it won’t be the last. I’m a shinobi whether you like it or not and I can take care of myself!” He does feel slightly weaker than he should after the chakra expended in that fight. “Now, which way is home?”
Pakkun leaps from his summoner’s shoulder and Iruka ignores all the humans to follow the nin-ken.
”Iruka…” Kakashi’s voice is softer now. “Are you sure you’re fine? I was… worried…”
Iruka smiles despite his previous rage. “Have you seen the latest bingo book?” He asks in lou of a real response. Kakashi shakes his head, clearly just trying to keep up with Iruka’s train of thought. “Well, you may want to take a look, Lover.”
Kakashi’s jaw clearly drops, even with his mask on, Iruka can tell. He laughs at how red Kakashi’s ears have turned, at how flustered he has become, at how his own heart soars at seeing it.
“I’m so sorry, Iruka… I put you in danger with this stupid-“ Kakashi trails off, not sure how to label what they have been doing. “I would never forgive myself if-“
”If, if, if, what? You know what I would never forgive you for?” Iruka says, and he slows to a stop, causing Pakkun and Kakashi to also stop. Tenzou races ahead with the unconscious duo, clearly already embarrassed by whatever is happening and very happy to give his friend privacy. “I will never forgive you if you lied to me.”
”Iruka… what are you talking about?” Kakashi couldn't think of a time he lied to Iruka.
”Do you love me?”
Or he had lied to Iruka. Every day for the past 3 weeks on every date and on every parting. He lied to Iruka by pretending to fake his feelings.
All he could respond with was an unintelligent “oh.”
“I’ll give you one last chance, but if I hear anything about, ‘woe is me, I will cause your demise, woe is me, I’m no good for you,’ I’ll never forgive you. You hear me?!” Iruka says with force in his best teaching g voice.
Kakashi can do nothing but nod stupidly.
”Good. Now, I’m feeling a little dizzy, so get me back to the village please?” Iruka asks just before his knees give out. He swears it was entirely due to the poison and nothing to do with Kakashi’s gentle arms circling him. He will swear to his deathbed that his swooning was 100% because of the poison and nothing at all to do with the fact that Kakashi had lowered his mask just then. It had nothing to do with the fact that Kakashi was incredibly handsome.
It also unequivocally has nothing at all in the world to do with the fact that Kakashi leans down, Iruka in his arms, and places a tender, loving kiss on his forehead, then on the bridge of his nose over his scar, and then finally on his lips.
Iruka will also swear that he did not eagerly lean up with all his remaining strength into said kiss.
Nope. Never.
All too soon, Kakashi pulls his mask back into place and they move faster than Iruka has ever moved before. He hardly notices though, and it has everything to do with the poison and nothing at all to do with the blush pulsing all his blood into his face.
-
Dear Iruka-sensei,
I was shocked and appalled to discover the latest Bingo Book with a very disturbing fact listed. Are you… dating Baka-sensei?!
I thought it must be a typo or something, but then how would that happen? Old pervert Jiraiya-sama said he wasn’t surprised, so maybe it is true.
If it is, you are a bigger closet pervert than I thought!
If it isn’t, good, Baka-sensei is annoying.
But he is also really strong, so he can watch you while I’m away.
OH! Is this an elaborate prank to see under his mask!?!
I always knew you were the best! I can’t wait for you to tell me what’s there! Sasuke will lose our bet for sure! I’m positive there are big teeth under there.
Let me know and I’ll be back before you know it!
You owe me ramen by the way, since when I read that stupid bingo book passage I spit out all my noodles.
Love,
Naruto
PS I’ll also write to Kakashi and make it seem like your relationship is really real and everything so I don’t blow your cover.
Dear Baka-sensei,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH IRUKA?!?
I saw the bingo book and almost threw up my lunch. You are a dirty pervert. Iruka maybe a secret pervert, but he deserves someone who actually is on time for things!
If you are going to be with Iruka, you need to know some things okay? I’m only telling you this so that Iruka is treated like he deserves and you don’t mess things up, got it?!
Iruka likes ramen most. He also will fool everyone, but I KNOW he likes to play pranks too. How else would he be able to catch mine every time if he isn’t actually secretly an expert in them? He hates fried veggies and rice, so don’t bother. Iruka doesn’t have a lot of friends, especially after that bastard Mizeka or whatever his name was. He has trust issues, so don’t lie to him. Even if you mess up big time, he will forgive you. He has a big heart like that.
Naruto
PS to make it clear again, I don’t support this. You both are old and gross. Especially you Kaka-sensei. Couldn’t you like be Iruka’s dad?