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Our story begins like no other.
At least, Jeongin thinks it does. He's not sure how many stories open in a car full of people on a road trip.
That never popped up as a question when Seungmin held Trivia Night and if everyone was talking about it, Jeongin wouldn't know. He's been asleep for most of the ride.
Road trips put him to bed like nobody's business— assuming he's sitting behind the driver, that is.
This year, that happens to be Minho.
Chris sits in the passenger seat beside him. If Jisung were here, he'd sit in his place —Jeongin swears they're the most codependent couple on earth. Jisung says he just likes the passenger seat but he's only there when Minho drives.
Coincidence? Jeongin thinks not.
Seated beside him are Hyunjin and Felix.
There's wet mouth sounds happening and he can't tell if they're kissing or eating and he kind of doesn't want to know.
Changbin and Seungmin sit behind him. Seungmin keeps switching seats, he goes from the window seat behind Jeongin, to the middle seat, closer to Changbin. He's like a little indecisive puppy rolling about in the back.
Seungmin's always been a little strange.
Jeongin watches from the space between the car door and the seat as Minho brings his phone to the other ear.
“No. No, no, no, we're still driving,” he says, a smile in his voice. It must be Jisung. There's a sneeze from the other line, and then a crash. “Did you fall or do I need to call the police?”
Jeongin means to eavesdrop a little more but Chris laughs like Jisung sneezing himself to the floor is the funniest thing in the world. He focuses on that. Chris’ laugh is better.
When it's over, it's over and Jeongin doesn't think about it more than that. Not by a mile.
He throws his legs over Hyunjin, poking at Felix's thigh with his toes until he gets a bottle of water. Then he raids Seungmin's bookbag (Not a book bag, it's a bag of books) for a piece of gum.
Jeongin doesn't plan on going back to sleep any time before their next stop and he's not fond of the taste of sleep in his mouth.
“Yah, Yang Jeongin! I ought to tax you for every piece of gum you take from me, you evil boy.”
Hyunjin, the designated idiot, bursts out laughing, resting his head on Felix's shoulder as he does.
Jeongin, having just woken up, has no response and no defense with his half-melted brain. He's about to lie down and take it when his knight in Australian Armor comes to his defense. “Seungmin, you walk half a block to steal ice from me. You're worse than him and he's not even bad.”
Chris shakes his head, turning to look at Jeongin with his dark brown eyes. “He's just mad he doesn't have dimples like yours.”
Then, he smiles, with his whole face, all of his teeth, his eyes and his own dimples. Jeongin absently wonders if he could fit an almond in them.
Seungmin scoffs, “That has nothing to do with anything, Christopher Chan.” Not his name, but okay. “It's about my gum, not the smile holes in Jeongin's face. He uses them to manipulate people, old man. He got to you.”
Felix cranes his head to the backseat, narrowing his eyes at Seungmin. He opens his mouth to say something. Changbin responds.
Yeah, yeah, it's just the weirdos filling the silence. Nothing to see here.
Jeongin grabs his phone from underneath Hyunjin's thigh. How did it get there? Only heaven knows. However, Jeongin knows the first thing he sees aside from a few Tiktok notifications he'll ignore for six days, is a text from Chris.
**Christiano Bangnaldo**
Good Morning, Sunshine [2:28pm]
**I am not bread**
Good afternoon hyung [2:28pm]
**Christiano Bangnaldo**
How'd you sleep? [2:29pm]
**I am not bread**
It was nice. Minho's got the AC turned away from me so it's not blowing in my face which is pretty awesome [2:30pm]
**Christiano Bangnaldo**
That's good [2:31pm]
Do you need a blanket? [2:31pm]
Just because it's not hitting you doesn't mean it's not affecting you. I've got one in my bag up here if you want it. [2:32pm]
Jeongin lets out a little huff of a laugh. Chris is always so considerate.
**I am not bread**
No thanks. If you give me a blanket, I'll go back to sleep lol [2:32pm]
**Christiano Bangnaldo**
If you say so… [2:33]
Oh! [2:33]
Were you awake when Hyunjin told us room assignments? [2:34]
**I am not bread**
No [2:34]
Can I guess? [2:34]
**Christiano Bangnaldo**
Ooh, a game! [2:36]
You know I love a game [2:36]
**I am not bread**
Hyunjin and Felix… [2:36]
Changbin and Seungmin… [2:36]
Me and Minho [2:27]
Because he'll be sulky without Jisung [2:27]
And you by yourself [2:29]
Because you're old [2:29]
**Christiano Bangnaldo**
Ha ha. Very funny. [2:30]
**I am not bread**
Thank you, Chris. I was born this hilarious. [2:30]
**Christiano Bangnaldo**
Well, you were also born bad at games.
The first two rooms are right, the rest not so much. [2:31]
**I am not bread**
Oh then you're with Minho and I'm alone? [2:31]
Freedom [2:31]
**Christiano Bangnaldo**
What? No. [2:32]
**I am not bread**
Ah. I remain captive [2:33]
**Christiano Bangnaldo**
Let's not pretend you sleep this well without me, Jeongin. Remember, you once affectionately called me your weighted blanket. [2:34]
**I am not bread**
You're heavy Chris. [2:35]
I could've called you an elephant [2:35]
Be grateful [2:36]
**Christiano Bangnaldo**
You could have but instead you called me something that improves sleep, reduces anxiety, overstimulation, stress and improves moods. [2:37]
Admit it. You sleep better with me on top of you. [2:37]
**I am not bread**
Sorry, I can't understand your accent [2:38]
**Christiano Bangnaldo**
Over text? [2:38]
**I am not bread**
Yes. [2:39]
And then, it all goes to crap.
Well, not really.
Hyunjin leans over him, eleven thousand pounds of man landing square in his lap as he leans over to open the door like cars only have one exit.
Jeongin has been thoroughly disrespected today.
He opens the door and the sun blares directly into his young eyes, burning his retinas. He almost dies.
“Jeongin,” Hyunjin whines, very much giving petulant child energy. “Please, get up, man. I have to pee. I will piss myself.”
Safe to say, Jeongin gets up very quickly.
Hyunjin sprints out of the car, not even reading the signs to find his way. Felix sighs, running after him, arms flailing in the wind. “You don't know where you're going! Hyunjin! You're going the wrong way!”
Jeongin pays them no mind.
Minho climbs out of the car, phone still pressed to his ear as he stretches his rickety bones. “We're taking a breather at the rest stop you like. Your favorite groundsperson is mowing the grass.”
A pause and then: “You know, I heard a story about a guy on a riding mower running over his wife. Good thing we're gay. That'll never be us.”
Usually when Minho's in one of his oddly romantic, mildly scary moods, he lets Jisung have it, but if he's in the car for another hour, he might need that blanket Chris offered before they all got out of the car. It's his first line of defense against the nightmare Minho's giving him.
He approaches Minho slowly, like he might pounce on him if he comes too quickly. (He'd never, Jeongin is Minho's favorite. Behind Jisung, of course.)
Minho's in the middle of a laugh when he sees Jeongin. He turns to face him, tilting his head like a confused cat. “Yes?”
“When do you think we'll get where we're going?”
Minho blinks, calculating. He smiles crookedly. “That depends on where we're going and the mode of transportation.”
Jeongin did not come here to be played with.
He crosses his arms, narrows his eyes and sighs. “I'm gonna tell Jisung you're bullying me.”
The smile falls. “We've got less than an hour. Don't go to sleep."
Jeongin won the battle. He feels like a little cloud just hugged him.
Chris spawns from out of nowhere, sneaking a hand around Jeongin's waist. Maybe this is the cloud.
While Jeongin is admittedly less terrified than he should be of a hug from a potential stranger, it's just Chris and Chris smells like pine forests and ocean water and his body is warm and safe so it's fine.
He leans back on his heels and Chris lets him. “Greetings.”
Chris holds him a little tighter, a little closer, Jeongin can't imagine being held like this by anyone but him. The thought makes him want to get run over by that mower Minho was talking about.
No one wants that.
Jeongin lets himself be held while Minho and Chris argue over who drives the final stretch. Minho insists he's fine and he probably is but Chris always asks just in case.
Some time during all of that Hyunjin and Felix come back. Felix is absolutely debauched and Hyunjin looks like the definition of kiss-drunk.
Good heavens, they're freaks.
Seungmin sticks his head out of the window —he never left the car— rolling his eyes. Before he can say his piece, Changbin does it for him. “Really? One hour left and you couldn't keep to yourselves till then?”
Felix shrugs, shy but putting on a brave front. “It wasn't my fault. I mean— have you seen his pen-”
“Felix!” Hyunjin screams, covering his blushing face and burying Felix's head in his shoulder in a kind of “please, shut up” hug. “If they wanted to know, they'd ask. Don't give up my information to the commoners.”
Minho takes a deep breath, ready for battle. “Jisung, baby, I'm gonna have to call you back.”
\《▪︎□▪︎》/
After everything was sorted, they got back on the road.
Minho's playing romantic, indie, bossa nova and everyone's pretending it's just the radio and not his favorite playlist.
Minho's a hopeless romantic. He's found his soulmate and is still a hopeless romantic (his words, not Jeongin's. Just FYI).
Chris sits in the passenger seat, humming original countermelodies to all the songs. He always thinks he's keeping it to himself, but Jeongin catches it every time.
You can take the producer out of the studio but you can't take the producer out of the man.
Chris is pretty much made of music. If he were an album cover, he'd be a bouquet of dried roses in a glass Coke bottle.
Jeongin's not one-hundred on what that means but it feels like someone's favorite indie song.
Having switched seats with Felix like he planned, Jeongin sits directly behind Chris. His fingers have drifted from his little bubble of personal space to Chris’.
His fingers tangled in the thick fabric of Christopher's hoodie, brushing against the warm back of his neck every once in a while.
A little shiver runs down Chris’ spine the first time they touch. It seems to run through Jeongin's fingers and down his own spine.
When Jeongin does it again, he stays still, but he sees the way Chris’ jaw clenches just slightly. “You ticklish?”
Chris leans back into his chair, letting Jeongin's fingers play with the ends of his hair. There's a little heat damage. Jeongin’s gonna cut earth's electricity if Christopher flat irons another one of his curls.
“I'm not ticklish,” Chris says, wiggling in his seat. Jeongin believes him. Sorry, that was a lie. He doesn't. He's actually rolling his eyes and trying not to laugh. “For someone who's not ticklish, you're really tense and squirmy.”
Chris shakes his head, a gentle little thing. “I'm not, I'm just Australian. This is how kangaroos prepare for a fight. You might be my next victim if you laugh.”
Jeongin smiles at the odd excuse and it's faint like half of something but it feels like everything.
For the record, Jeongin doesn't do this.
He's not a fan of skinship. Really. Ask Hyunjin how many times Jeongin has put him on the ground for trying to sneak a hug.
It's just different with Chris. He's the exception. He's the safe space where his fingers wander when his hands are restless and there's nothing to do but read or sleep.
And sleep creeps up on him, the little stalker.
He lays his head on the back of Chris’ headrest, his eyes fluttering shut, and his breathing slowing to a snail's pace. His hands, despite being limp and already sleeping, stay tangled in Christopher's hoodie, warm with his body heat as he drifts off to sleep.
\《▪︎□▪︎》/
Everybody doesn't know this, but Jeongin considers himself a light sleeper. Maybe not **light** light, like, light to the power of two or something.
He's asleep, but he hears everything. He may not be processing enough to jump back into conversation with the other earth dwellers but enough not to be lost.
This is how he knows that something is not right.
For one, Minho's not running his mouth.
It's not a “Why doesn't he shut up” thing, it's a genuine observation. When Minho drives, he's either talking to someone or there's music on. Even if the volume is on two. He says it helps him focus.
There's no real noise in the car and from what Jeongin can feel, it's not even moving.
Jeongin opens his eyes and —Oh. He's been moved.
Jeongin is fully in his own seat now and there's a blue blanket with pastel dinosaurs draped over him.
Thank you, Chris.
Jeongin looks out the window to see… mild chaos.
They're on the side of the road. Hyunjin and Felix have a beach towel over a fallen log. They're holding hands. How disgusting.
Minho is leaning against a tree a few paces behind them, watching Changbin and Chris kneel down by the front passenger side of the car.
Jeongin turns to look for Seungmin when the front door opens and he slides in with an iced coffee.
Where did he even get that from?
Seungmin rolls down the window, slumping into the seat and sticking a foot out the window. He shakes his coffee, savoring the sound of the ice cubes clacking against each other.
So weird.
Jeongin clears his throat pointedly. Seungmin turns around.
“Oh,” he says, taking a slow sip of his coffee. “Did I rouse the beast with my noises of pleasure?”
That sounds like a line from a smutty, romantacy, fan-fiction. Ew.
“No, darling. However, the feeling of my empty hands was partially responsible for breaking my slumber.” There. Jeongin can match energy.
Seungmin nods solemnly. “I see.” He chuckles and Jeongin officially has no idea where this is going. “While the term of endearment is lovely, I believe such efforts would be better used on another.”
Jeongin tilts his head to the side, lips quirked up in a smile or a frown or something equal parts stupid and confused. “Who, pray tell, would that be?”
“Your suitor, of course.” And then, the bastard screams, calling the attention of anyone within ten miles. “CHRISTOPHER CHAN!!!!”
There's a sigh, heavy and long, then Chris pops up from the side of the car. “I know how to change a tire, Seungmin. You don't have to scream.”
Ah, they have a flat. And apparently they also have a group of seven adult men who have not one idea on how to change a tire.
Seungmin outright cackles, clinking his stupid cup of coffee like some manic pixie dream girl. “We've been here for an hour! Jeongin is awake! He doesn't wake up for anything!”
Jeongin watches with thickly veiled confusion while Seungmin laughs himself half to death. “If you gaggle of gays could change a tire, it would've happened by now.”
Hm. Seungmin says “gaggle of gays” like he's not the member of the friend group with the most flags. Asexual and aromantic to be specific.
“Seung, you're so… odd.” Jeongin shakes his head to catch him off guard, snatching up the iced coffee and taking a long sip from it before Seungmin pounces on him and takes it back.
“Thieves and heathens the lot of you!”
And then, in a strange turn of events, Changbin and Hyunjin get up at the same time.
Hyunjin says: “I don't speak Bridgerton! Speak a language we all know!”
And Changbin says: “You're not Harry Potter, get your Deatheater ass down here and change this tire.”
No one speaks to Seungmin like that.
If it were anyone else, Jeongin might expect to see coffee flying, but it's Changbin, so Seungmin goes —not without a scoff, of course.
He walks around the back of the car, a notably longer route, sticking his hand in the open window, caressing Jeongin's face. His hands are cold and wet with condensation. Jeongin slaps them away.
“I need my coffee,” Seungmin says, clutching his hand like a wounded bird.
“Do you really?” Minho asks, eyeing Seungmin suspiciously. Felix answers for him. They work together and Felix is the most honest of them so everyone believes his “Seungmin needs coffee” co-sign.
With an annoying shake of his cup, Seungmin gets to work.
“Step one: don't panic. That's other people's jobs.” He rolls up his sleeves, passes Changbin his coffee and tilts his head to the side in a poor confused Minho impression.
Seungmin says something about step two —finding a jack? Jack Harlow? Jack Sparrow? Jack Skellington?
Jeongin doesn't know.
He also kinda doesn't care.
Chris is walking from the flat where he left Changbin to deal with Seungmin, to the open window Jeongin is sticking his head out of.
“Hey,” he says, wiping stress off his face. Not sweat. Stress. Seungmin is a literal brain scientist so he's great at giving people headaches.
Jeongin finds himself smiling before he even notices it. Chris always does that to him.
He rests his head on the window next to Christopher's hand; it finds its way into his hair, gentler than… paper stars.
For reference, they're cute, vibey and Jeongin hasn't heard of anyone getting a papercut making stars.
As much as Jeongin would like to take advantage of the free head massage, Chris seems to need it more than him.
Curse you, Kim Seungmin.
A sharp sound breaks through the air, and for a moment, Jeongin thinks someone found a spider, but it's less eventful than that. It's the sound of metal creaking and popping as lug nuts are loosened.
Suddenly feeling a little cold under the blanket alone, Jeongin opens the door. “Come sit with me, Chris.”
He comes without question. He always does for Jeongin.
Chris climbs into the car, clumsily maneuvering so that he's laying on his back, head in Jeongin's lap. One leg hangs off the seat onto the floor, the other looks uncomfortable but Jeongin doesn't ask. He thinks Chris likes the burn.
Chris takes one of Jeongin's hand, burying it in his hair like he knew what he was going to do the whole time. Jeongin laughs lightly, “You read minds or something?”
Chris gives him his ‘not answering’ face but it's Jeongin, so he does. “No,” he says, closing his eyes. “I just knew. Call it intuition. Like, radios tuned to the same station.”
And then, the oddballs make their presence known.
Seungmin snuck the jack under the car, and sent it halfway into the sky while they were still in the car.
Chris stirs, not by much but he does. “Are we rolling downhill or is Seungmin doing his job?”
“He's doing his job, don't worry. I'd kill him if he tried to murder you.”
That gets him a wordless little laugh. “I'd bail you out.”
And then, bam!
There's a loud thud from the roof of the car. Jeongin jumps, Chris curses, Changbin cackles. Evil little witch man.
Changbin threw the tire up there for no purpose other than to see Jeongin jump out of his skin.
“You better not be fornicating in there!” Changbin yells, far too gleefully.
Jeongin groans. “Why are you like this?”
“Because I thrive on chaos,” he answers, unapologetically.
Felix doesn't defend him at all but he does add to the conversation. “To be fair, I did walk in on them once and as disgusting as it was, they do look good together.”
Hair whipping like a violent snake, Hyunjin turns to face Felix. “Baby, when was this?”
“Doesn't matter, I was just trying to pee.”
Jeongin remembers that distinctly.
He'd rather not.
Head still Jeongin's lap, Chris snickers like he's not getting dragged, too.
Jeongin pulls his hand from Chris’ hair, crossing his arms. Chris pouts. Jeongin is not swayed.
“If you're not gonna defend our honor, you're not reaping any Jeongin benefits.”
Chris opens his mouth immediately. Who knew standing on business actually worked?
“Hyunjin and Felix can’t say a word about us,” he scoffs. “They were on each other less than two hours ago. In a public restroom. I can do whatever I want in my apartment.”
Jeongin snaps his fingers, nodding solemnly in a ‘80s American hair stylist impression. “You tell ‘em, honey.”
Minho's jaw drops. He flushes an embarrassed shade of pink but it doesn't stop him. “So, they get a pass but three years ago when me and Jisung-”
No.
Jeongin is not a part of that.
He rolls up the window, shuts the world out, and slips his fingers back into Chris’s hair. Priorities.
\《▪︎□▪︎》/
Once in town, they find their AirBNB with no further complications.
Seungmin did try to kill Jeongin and Chris for not paying attention when he taught everyone how to change a tire but no one even retained the information. The problem isn't the students, it's the teacher.
Seungmin is writing a How to Change a Tire pamphlet for the group.
Jeongin thinks it'll be informative and good for light reading but never mind that.
When they finally arrive at the cabin, they don't unpack the car.
Due to unforeseen circumstances during a previous trip, they must check the house for murderers.
This year's sacrifices are Jeongin, Hyunjin and Felix.
Seungmin tries to be unbothered but the little shoulder pats he offers to the tributes give him away. “If you die,” he says, looking at the three like they're in trouble. “I'll kill you.”
Jeongin says his goodbyes and steps into the house, Hyunjin and Felix trailing behind. “If something eats me, don't come out. I don't want to be the only victim.”
No one laughs.
He admits, it's a terribly bad joke.
Living room, dining room, kitchen, bedroom, bedroom, bedroom, bedroom, five closets, garage and attic, all clear.
When the three of them make it out alive and well, Chris is leaning against the car. This is not protocol. He should be in the car waiting to make a swift getaway if necessary.
Jeongin is about to ask but Chris just pulls him into a hug, tight and worried. “You're okay, yeah. You're not hurt?”
For a few moments, Jeongin is frozen.
He's been hugged before but not with so much concern. It's a little overwhelming. In a good way.
He pulls back just slightly, cupping Chris’ face in both hands giving him a stern yet soft look. “I'm fine. Everything is where it's supposed to be. We checked every room. I'm fine.”
He's scrutinized for a few seconds more before Chris decides he's telling the truth. He sighs and lets his hands drop to Jeongin's waist. “Okay,” he says, shaking his head and muttering. “I don't know what I would do without you.”
Really?
Jeongin remembers Minho saying those exact words to Jisung the first year after the incident when he did the house check. He doesn't remember what Jisung said back but it doesn't matter. He's not Jisung and Chris isn't Minho.
“You'll never have to,” he says, before he can stop himself. “You'll never have to live without me, love.”
Jeongin almost kisses him then and there but he holds himself back. Indecent exposure is a misdemeanor and their friends have no problem calling the cops even for just a wee peck.
“Come on. We gotta go before Changbin and Minho start selling your stuff.” That gets a little laugh out of Chris, so he pushes further. “They'll release your beats for free, you know.”
Christopher's eyes widen to comically large proportions. He gives Jeongin a gentle pat on the head before making his way back over to the car. Changbin has already started taking pictures of his things.
\《▪︎□▪︎》/
The boys and their bags settle in quickly, Hyunjin and Felix, Seungmin and Changbin, Jeongin and Chris, and Minho, who is rooming with his thoughts in Jisung's influenza-ed absence.
Now that there's not a high chance of death, Jeongin notices the cabin is actually really pretty.
Chris was in charge of picking the house this year, so he expected something modern-traditional with stairs and quartz countertops.
Yeah, there are stairs, but the counters are wooden. Everything's wooden. And there's crocheted blankets and velvet chairs with clawed feet and stained glass windows in the kitchen and everything Jeongin ever told Chris he loved.
It feels like being dumped into a fairy tale dream.
Felix looks around with big eyes, but Changbin's are bigger. Minho's jaw drops before he catches himself. He nods slowly. “You did your big one with this, Christopher.”
Chris tries not to be shy, but Jeongin sees how he sinks into his hoodie a little more than usual. Jeongin slides beside him, their shoulders brushing. “Not your usual style.”
Chris shrugs, the nonchalance is not in the building but the attempt is cute. “It's your style though, yeah? You like it?”
“Of course,” he says, turning to their bedroom. “You picked it.”
The hallways are lined with watercolor paintings of flowers, mirrors and wall lamps. The mirror on the end of the hall is the true art. A hexagonal piece of aesthetic architecture if he's ever seen one!
Jeongin has passions. Leave him alone.
The last room on the hall is his —well, theirs. It's simple, a bed, a desk and a little bench beside a window.
“Pretty,” he says, more to himself than anything.
A voice from behind makes him jump, “I'm sure you can do better than that.”
Chris, of course.
He scoots past Jeongin, an arm sliding him to the side as he goes. “Come on, Sunshine. This house is explicit permission from me to you to nerd out about… agricultural texture.”
Jeongin blinks. Did he just say-
“I know that's not it, but you know what I mean.” Chris laughs at himself, scratching the back of his neck like a bad habit. “The house has those windows you like. The little hexagons.”
For a moment Jeongin is almost convinced this is a joke, but Chris looks so sincere. “The little hexagons,” he agrees, flopping backwards onto the bed.
Looking up, he sees the ceiling. There's dark wood lining everything —mahogany or oak, he thinks— the light catches the warmth of it perfectly.
There's a half-baked thought linking this to the way the sun hits Chris’ eyes, but then he sees it. In all its frosted glory.
A ceiling fan light cover.
Jeongin knows that's not half as exciting to the general population as it is to him, but they couldn't see this beauty if it had a name tag.
He gasps, nearly choking on air.
“Chris…” he says, a little blinded by the glory of the fixture in front of him. “Turn out the light and give me my phone. Or yours. Just- flashlight, please.”
Christopher chooses to indulge him, turning out the light and sacrificing his own phone to the cause, flashlight already on.
With the light turned off, Jeongin can see all the details.
“There's frosted and clear glass, see,” he points up at the fixture while Chris settles beside him. “The frosted glass has flowers etched into it and the clear glass has a cross hatch thing going on.”
He turns the phone to the left and right, letting the light catch different details. “I'm not always a fan of mixed glasses but they didn't go too far. The clear glass is just enough to break the monotony. Thin strips, just like I like.”
He lets out a breath, gripping Chris’ arm for emotional support. “You see the scalloping on the rim and the yellowing from where it's been used? Gotta be vintage. I bet it's handmade, too. So beautiful.”
Then, out of nowhere, “You're beautiful. Especially when you're passionate like this.”
Jeongin turns his head to find Chris already looking at him. His eyes are half-lidded, smile soft at the edges in a way Jeongin can only describe as fond.
There's something like butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. He feels a little bit like he did when he got with his first boyfriend. That good kind of anxiety. It feels realer though.
Jeongin tries to laugh it off, turning his head back to the ceiling, trying to spot humming birds in the glass. “You have to appreciate true beauty when you see it, Chris.”
“You do,”Christopher agrees. He's still looking at Jeongin.
Jeongin tries to get up and look at some more ‘agricultural texture’ but he can't leave. He barely sits up before he's turning back to Chris. Not because he called, just because he can't leave him.
Chris’ hand catches his jaw, so softly, so delicately, like nothing he's ever felt. It's like his heart is in zero gravity mode.
Chris leans in. Jeongin follows, heart racing through his rib cage and then… their lips meet, slotting together perfectly.
It's not Jeongin's first kiss, not with men or women or even Chris, but for some reason it feels like it. Like, if Chris pulled away right now and told him to forget this, he'd fall apart. This —this moment, this kiss, Chris— feels like something he needs. Forever.
Chris wraps his free hand around Jeongin's waist, settling into place around Jeongin like he's his. And maybe he is.
Tap, tap, tap.
A knock on the door startles them out of whatever this warmth and safety is with a “What do you wanna eat?”
Usually, Jeongin would be the first to suggest a place, but now? He couldn't care less about food if he tried. Not when all he wants is to find a way back to that moment.
\《▪︎□▪︎》/
They don't talk about it.
They don't talk about a lot of their physical relationship, but that kiss? How different it felt? Completely off the table.
They don't kiss often to begin with, even though that's how it all started.
Chris talks. Jeongin thinks Chris is kissable. Jeongin kisses Chris. Chris doesn't run. Insert sex scene here. Physical relationship initiated.
Jeongin never asked for kisses and neither did Chris. There's no rule against it, it's just not something they do much of and when it does happen, it always leads to sex.
Sex after a kiss like that would feel forced though.
Jeongin wishes they weren't interrupted, that maybe they would have finished or figured something out first, but he has to admit, Philly cheesesteak pizza is the move.
Three cheers to Changbin for picking.
While Jeongin's at it, he'll give the rest of the group their props.
Minho got three bags of chips, including Zap's. Winner.
Jisung, despite not even being here, brought all the cold drinks for this evening. Two liters are pricey on this side of town. Go, Jisung.
Seungmin got something that looks like alcohol but tastes like flowers because it's too late to drink. Jeongin agrees. Round of applause.
And finally, Felix, who somehow managed to get a rush on some custom shot glasses for everyone and made little Shirley Temples. How? No idea.
Call it the Felix effect.
Note that Hyunjin, Jeongin and Chris did not contribute. This is because they're putting in physical labor instead of financial assistance. They do what no one else will.
Dishes.
But to be honest, they might not do them until morning.
Or the day after that…
They will get done. Just… eventually.
For now, everyone is gathered around the coffee table in the living room, tired but happy.
Minho has Jisung on speakerphone, of course, and the conversation is mind-numbing.
Jeongin kinda likes it like this.
“—Yes! And my mom was so mad that you gave me a hickey, she almost kicked me.”
Minho rolls his eyes at Jisung's voice and while Jeongin understands he's trying to be annoyed, he looks more in love than anything else. “Tell your mother I tried to be respectful and that you asked for it.”
Felix leans back against a chair, clapping like a seal at a comedy show. “He did not!”
Minho nods mischievously, “Yeah, he did.”
“After I told her that,” Jisung starts, “she scolded me for ruining such a pure boy like yourself.”
Changbin chokes. “Are we all talking about the same Minho?”
Chaos ensues.
Jeongin is watching the thoughts behind Minho's eyes right now. His favorite is “how hard can I slap Changbin with a piece of pizza for it to hurt?”
Jeongin thinks Minho might be about to act on it, but Jisung starts talking again so Minho's priorities change.
That totally doesn't remind Jeongin of himself or Chris in any way shape or form. Nope. Not at all.
“I asked her if she'd rather me have herpes or a hickey and she said ‘I'd rather my future son-in-law stay a nice, clean boy’.” He hears a sigh over the line. “I'm literally her son, why is Minho her favorite?”
Minho runs a hand through his hair, smirking at nothing. “Not even married yet and I'm your mom's favorite. Go, me.”
“Careful, Sungs,” says Chan from beside Minho. “Your man's getting all cocky.”
Jisung’s tone drops into something sultry, “I like ‘em nice and cocky, you know?”
Jeongin doesn't remember Seungmin being a religious man, but he's ninety percent sure he says a prayer before he tells Jisung to “leave the sexiness until Minho gets home” because if they don't keep it PG he'll execute them.
Fun times.
After a while, Jisung decides he must away, his last words, which come with a stupid amount of giggles for an adult male, are “Play never have I ever while I'm gone.”
And so they do, because it's fun and Jisung's word is law. Especially when Minho is enforcing it.
Felix starts them off, light and easy. “Never have I ever lied about liking someone's cooking.”
Three cups go up. Felix, Changbin and Minho.
Felix and Changbin plead the fifth when questioned but Minho just says it. “Felix and Seungmin should never be in the kitchen at the same time. You cook very well separately, when you cook together, it raises my blood pressure.”
Minho asks the next question, “Never have I ever stalked someone's socials for more than an hour.”
Felix, and Hyunjin raise their glasses. Hyunjin said he had a K-pop phase and left it at that but Felix had a real story.
“I once had sex with a lady to figure out if I was bi or just gay. After we went at it, the condoms we used were recalled for not doing their job.” Jeongin nods in understanding. He, too, has experienced that terror.
“I had to stalk her socials because I didn't have her number and I didn't know she was blacked out when we did it. I thought I got her pregnant.”
Changbin leans forward, dripping with interest. “Did you?”
“Yeah,” Felix responds casually. “It took but didn't survive. I was excited, but definitely not ready to be a parent.”
There's a second of silence where everyone thinks up a question. Who was the girl? What would've happened if they made it? How old would the kid be today?
It's a moment and it passes but the energy stays the same. Vulnerable.
Changbin goes this time, clearing the air just enough to be breathable. “Never have I ever fallen asleep during a conversation.”
Minho pops up, raising his hand. “I don't know if this counts but once when I was in the marching band, we went to band camp and I fell asleep learning a cadence.”
Seungmin's eyes widened. “You were actively playing an instrument and fell asleep?”
“Yep,” Minho replies, smooth. “And I didn't miss a beat.”
They all take a vote and decide it counts. Minho, Seungmin, Hyunjin and Jeongin drink to that.
Hyunjin asks the next one. “Never have I ever pretended to know what someone was talking about and got caught.”
Chris drinks.
Jeongin sees.
He wonders if that's because of what just happened with the light fixture.
Jeongin shakes off the thought. He's not the only person Chris has ever spoken to.
Someone says something about Star Wars. He misses the funny part but laughs with everyone else.
Seungmin is the next asker. He says, “Never have I ever practiced a confession in the mirror.”
Jeongin sees his fingers twitch toward his glass, but he gives up on the effort. Jeongin drinks for him. Everyone except Hyunjin and Changbin drink with him.
Chris looks up, then down, then back up again. His hands shake, just a little. “Never have I ever wanted to say something but couldn't.” Everyone, actually, everyone drinks then.
Jeongin can't help but make everything tie back to them. To that kiss and every question he doesn't have answers to.
The question —this one for the game— falls out before he can filter it. “Never have I ever been scared that I'm not enough.”
The words frighten him more than he'd like to admit, real and raw and coming from such a soft place inside him.
He drinks and so does Chris.
Someone asks, “Never have I ever kissed someone and regretted it after.” Some people answer. There's chatter and a thesis about why high school students should stay away from college professors.
Jeongin's not keeping track of anyone else anymore. All he knows is his heart flutters like a caged bird when Chris moves.
He regrets a kiss? Did he regret kissing Jeongin? When? Why?
Christopher pushes the glass away. Jeongin sighs, relieved and does the same.
He can't catch Chris’ eyes but he looks up at the ceiling fan in the room and that's enough.
\《▪︎□▪︎》/
After a few more questions and a switch to lighter topics, a few of the guys turn in for the night.
First Minho, then Seungmin, who took Changbin with him, then Hyunjin by himself.
There's just three of them now Chris, Jeongin and Felix, still playing the game and drinking Shirley Temples out of shot glasses like it's not already tomorrow.
The edges of everything have softened.
Jeongin is sprawled out on the couch, not asleep but close enough to it that when Felix and Chris get up, Chris thinks it best to pick him up and carry him to their bedroom.
He almost startles, but the scent of pine and ocean lure him back to calm.
It's not a long walk, not really, but it kind of feels like it. In that good way time slows when you're with someone you feel comfortable with.
The way Chris picked him up —soft, like he was somebody's wife, and with no hesitation was already enough, but Chris has the nerve to be warm, and smell like something he wants to bathe in, and he remembers everything Jeongin tells him, and he has the audacity to care and be gentle with him, and make him feel…
Something.
Something right.
“Watch out,” Chris says, more quiet than he's ever heard him. “I'm gonna put you on this chair, then when I get our stuff off the bed, I'll put you in it, okay? Okay?”
He doesn't wait for a reply, setting Jeongin down in their desk chair like something with a caution label on it.
Jeongin remembers seeing Hyunjin and Felix like this once.
Hyunjin fell and broke his ankle. He tried to do life as normal, but he crashed and when he did, Felix caught him, carried him to their room and stayed with him all night.
What's the difference?
Jeongin can't see it. This is a genuine question, what would possess Chris to do boyfriend things for Jeongin? Is it the same thing that makes Jeongin do boyfriend things for Chris?
What's the through line connecting it all?
Jeongins brain unhelpfully supplies a question Seungmin asked: never have I ever been in love and didn't know it.
Using questions to answer questions is stupid but even he falls short sometimes. What even is love?
In the movies, it's this big thing.
It's fireworks and kissing under the rain and boom boxes and wedding crashing and the odd airport chase, but that's not how he's seen love.
Assuming what he and Chris have is love, that is.
Chris makes sure people get Jeongin’s name right at coffee places and pretends not to know Korean words so Jeongin will teach him.
He has a blanket at his house no one but Jeongin is allowed to use. It's fresh out of the dryer every time Jeongin comes over because he's somehow always cold.
Chris hasn't bought him flowers but he brings allergy medicine in the spring when the pollen count is high.
He doesn't drink tea but he knows Jeongin's favorites like the back of his hand and will bring a box over “just because.”
They don't kiss but Chris holds him like Jeongin means everything to him.
He doesn't stop thinking about it —about them. But it doesn't feel loud or stressful or like something he has to avoid, it just feels right. Something inside him hums, this is it.
Then there's movement. Chris comes back, socked feet on hardwood floors, wrapping his arms around Jeongin again.
Not like duty, but like a choice he made himself to carry Jeongin when he can't.
He doesn't say anything, placing Jeongin on the bed and tucking him in as if he were something precious and made to be protected.
Chris sighs softly, running his fingers down Jeongin arm, stopping at his wrist, fingertips pressing into his palm like a question. Jeongin links their fingers —an answer.
Chris’ palms are clammy. Not enough to be gross, just noticeable. He gives one of those self-deprecating smiles, shaking his head like he didn't mean to get caught. “Hey, my sunshine. Did I wake you?”
“No,” Jeongin squeezes his hand a little tighter, pulling him in so he sits on the edge of the bed. “I wasn't ever asleep.”
Then there's silence. Not awkward or stilted or heavy, just full. Full of them.
Chris brushes the back of Jeongin’s hand with his thumb. Sometimes long lines, sometimes tight circles, but mostly just constant pressure. Like someone saying I'm here.
And he is. He's always been here.
“You know,” Chris starts, a soft flush running up the back of his neck. “You are everything to me. Feels like… like you're mine.”
Jeongin feels like the tin man from the Wizard of Oz.
Searching for a heart, for love, going on a grand journey between witches and ‘We're just friends’ only to have exactly what he's been looking for the whole time.
“You- you want that?” Jeongin asks, breathlessly, eyes widening. “You want me to be yours, like, for real?”
Chris agrees before he can stop himself, “Yeah, of course.” And then the panic kicks in. “No.”
“I mean— not no, you just- don't have to do anything for me. I've loved you for so long already; I can wait for you.”
Jeongin tightens his grip on Christopher's hand and the other comes up to his arm, bringing him back to here.
“Hey.”
He waits for Chris to meet his eyes. “Chris, I want this. I want you. Us.” He pauses, trying to find the words but knowing if he thinks too hard, they'll disappear. “I didn't always know it, but I love you. And I've been yours. For a long time.”
Chris just stares for a while, eyes wide and absorbing like he can't wrap his mind around the fact that Jeongin loves him.
He lets out a breath from somewhere so deep it had to have been trapped for years. “Jeongin…” His eyes water, glassy but never clearer. “You can't say things like that. You'll give me a heart attack.”
Chris brings his and Jeongin's hands to his cheek, salty tears wetting their fingers. “I'm dreaming… How are you even real?”
He presses a kiss to their joined hands, shaking his head, completely beside himself and Jeongin laughs.
Not because it's funny but because it's his. He couldn't have asked for anything or anyone better. “It's real. All of it is real.”
“It's so real, I'd marry you right now.” Jeongin runs his free hand through his hair, trying to make it sound like a joke just in case he'd gone too far.
Christopher blinks, processing. And then: “You would marry me? Like, actually?”
He shakes his head, stunned. “Not to be weird, but I've thought about it so many times because it felt like we we're already together for so long.” Then he backtracks, “Obviously, we don't have to. It's whatever you want but I just-”
Jeongin cuts him off, biting Chris’ thumb with all the power of a wet blanket. Chris whines over the pain but he doesn't let go.
Jeongin narrows his eyes, threatening as a Walmart goldfish. “Don't do that,” he says. “Don't take that away from me.”
“I want to marry you, Christopher. Ask me right now and I'll say yes.”
Biting his lip, Chris lets out a breath, his empty hand coming up to cup his face. Jeongin melts into the touch. “You deserve better than a rushed proposal at two in the morning, Jeongin. Let me get ready.”
Jeongin leans in, resting his head on Chris’ just to breathe the same air. He closes his eyes, doing his best to keep his voice steady. “If we wait to get ready, we'll never be ready. If you're gonna ask me, ask me.”
You know that sinking feeling you get when you think you’ve done something wrong?
That’s what Jeongin feels right now.
His stomach drops, almost nauseatingly. He’s sure he said too much, too fast. Pushed too far.
Chris is going to wake up tomorrow and realize he doesn’t want this—doesn’t want him. Not really.
He’ll see how impulsive this is and pull back before they both get hurt.
They’ll ruin it, and it’ll be his fault.
Chris hasn’t said anything. The silence stings more than it should.
Jeongin’s already pulling back inside himself, bracing for the soft letdown, when he hears it—his name, spoken gently, like something sacred.
“Jeongin.”
He holds his breath.
“Will you marry me?”
Something small and heavy breaks inside Jeongin at those words. He launches himself into Christopher's arms, their mouths crashing in something equal parts messy, stupid, and loving.
“Yes,” Jeongin whispers, smiling into their lips. “Yes, yes, yes.”
\《▪︎□▪︎》/
They don't separate for a while after that.
It's so different to kiss with love instead of feral desire. It's so much better to be loved.
Jeongin curls into Chris’ side, burying his face into his neck. “You smell like a Versace ad.”
That has nothing to do with what they're talking about but Jeongin believes in the distribution of knowledge.
He hears Chris laugh at him, feels his hand card through his hair. This is nice. This is love.
Jeongin closes his eyes, fingers playing little patterns on Chris’ skin.
He falls asleep like that, easily, and Chris follows. It's the best sleep Jeongin has ever had.
\《▪︎□▪︎》/