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The fluorescent lights in Jun-hee’s hospital room ache her head beyond comprehension. She wishes that Myung-gi and Dae-ho were still here so she could ask them to dim the lights a bit; she’s not expecting any visitors until whenever the two lovers come back to visit their child and niece.
Jun-hee’s utterly exhausted. Her body aches and she trembles, but she’s sure that she’s never been more at peace.
The unnamed baby lies in her grasp, head resting against her bare breast. The tiny hand reaches out to touch the skin, too. She has dark hair and big, brown eyes; her lips resemble her father’s, although she has a majority of Jun-hee’s features — Myung-gi even made a joke that he’s surprised the kid didn’t come out with a brow piercing.
She’s perfect, and Jun-hee isn’t sure if any name that she or Myung-gi could come up with would be good enough for her.
Jun-hee spent nine miserable months worrying about everything that can go wrong — now, though, she feels as if this is completely right; like she was made to be a mother.
Although bitter about Myung-gi’s absence from her pregnancy, she’s not angry at him. He’s gone through a lot throughout the past few years — finally cutting off his abusive family, finding out he was gay right before Jun-hee revealed her pregnancy, and losing his seventh job in three years.
They’re good friends now. She’s content to co-parenting with him, and she trusts his boyfriend Dae-ho to be a babysitter when they need a break once in a while.
Some movie plays on the small television in the corner — it looks to be a horror flick from America. It is almost Halloween, Jun-hee recalls, but horror’s always been more of Myung-gi’s cup of tea.
It’s almost a comfort right now, though. She’s on good terms with the father of her newborn baby girl, so much so that she can smile at the masked man chasing reckless and annoying teenagers on the screen.
Never once did Jun-hee think she’d earn this sort of life.
Her baby makes a soft noise, snapping the young woman out of her thoughts. Jun-hee chuckles, adjusting her hold on the precious little thing; she continues to admire her underneath the painful light.
Finally, there’s a soft knock on the wall. Jun-hee glances up with wide yet tired eyes and spots Se-mi.
Se-mi and Jun-hee have been friends since primary school. The former was so scared to go into the crowded classroom, so Jun-hee took her hand and led her inside, never letting go until her mom had to yell for her to come to the car.
Se-mi was there when Jun-hee lost her first dog, when she got kicked out of high school, and when she found out she was pregnant.
Of course she’d be here now, it’s only natural for Se-mi to be glued to Jun-hee’s side.
“Hey,” Se-mi begins softly, approaching the bed. She leans down and presses a gentle kiss to Jun-hee’s temple. “How’s my girl?”
“Tired,” Jun-hee sighs, “exhausted, even.”
“I bet,” Se-mi grins. It’s contagious — soon enough, Jun-hee is smiling too despite how absolutely fatigued she feels. “You did well, though. Cutest baby I’ve ever seen. What’s her name?”
Jun-hee pauses. “She doesn’t have one yet,” she admits, almost embarrassed, “me and Myung-gi didn’t really have time to plan that far.”
“Hm…”
“Why don’t you give it a go, Se-mi?”
“Huh?”
“Pick a name for my baby girl.”
Se-mi smiles, flustered.
“Hyo-sonn,” she offers quietly, watching the baby turn her head into her mother’s chest.
“Kim Hyo-sonn,” Jun-hee muses, “yeah, that feels right.”
“She looks just like you,” Se-mi comments idly.
Jun-hee nods. “It’s like looking in a mirror,” she chuckles, “…you can hold her, if you want.”
“Can I?”
“Mhm.”
“Okay,” Se-mi nods this time, cautiously reaching out for Hyo-sonn. “Want me to hold her while you sleep?”
“Please,” Jun-hee whispers, leaning back into the uncomfortable hospital pillow once Se-mi takes her baby.
“I can also call for a nurse to dim the lights,” she offers.
“You’ve read my mind.”
Hyo-sonn seems to be lulled into a restful sleep once in Se-mi’s arms. She curls into the pierced woman, a tiny hand clinging to her shirt.
Although sore, Jun-hee moves a bit to get more comfortable in bed. She closes her eyes as the nurse comes in with a remote for the lights above, and with Se-mi singing softly to her baby girl, Jun-hee finally falls asleep.
—
The following few days of motherhood are harder than Jun-hee anticipated. The hospital was easier, with help from nurses and visitors alike, but now that she’s back in her small home, all hell broke loose.
Hyo-sonn — official name on her birth certificate, which makes Se-mi feel important for once in her life — is restless.
She’s always hungry, too. Getting the girl to latch onto Jun-hee’s breast is a struggle, though, especially when she gets fussy in the middle of the day — it seems she can sense her mother’s own crankiness.
“C’mon,” she groans loudly, “just eat!”
She begins to cry out, little hands flailing around and gripping onto Jun-hee’s skin as she continues to sob.
“Ow,” Jun-hee huffs when Hyo-sonn pinches her chest. “Hey, stop it. Just eat.”
Jun-hee’s patience wears thin; it’s almost as if some sort of God heard her internal pleas and sent an angel into the room to comfort her.
“Still struggling, Jun-hee?”
Se-mi, who hasn’t been home to her roommate in almost a week, smiles sympathetically as she arrives in Jun-hee’s room from the kitchen.
“Yeah,” Jun-hee sighs, defeated. Her own tears threaten to spill from her eyes. “She won’t eat.”
The other woman offers her another smile — loving and adoring this time. It reminds Jun-hee that she’s going to be loved for a long time.
Hyo-sonn finally latches onto Jun-hee’s breast, beginning to eat happily.
“Thank you, Se-mi,” she cries, relieved.
She nods, watching Hyo-sonn and Jun-hee for a bit until the little girl is full.
“Myung-gi and Dae-ho offered to watch Hyo-sonn for the day,” Se-mi begins, “I think you should take them up on it… we need showers and rest.”
“Okay,” Jun-hee nods, “yeah, that sounds good.”
“Do you want to tag along for the ride? I can just take Hyo-Sonn by myself if you’d rather shower without me.”
“No, no,” Jun-hee shakes her head, “I can tag along, you know I like looking at Myung-gi’s Halloween decorations.”
“Okay,” she grins, “let’s get ready, then. I already packed her diaper bag, just in case.”
Jun-hee looks at Se-mi in awe — she’s truly her hero.
The ride to Myung-gi’s is nice, probably the most fun that Jun-hee has had in weeks. They listen to the mixtape that Se-mi had burned onto a CD specifically for car rides with her, with both girls singing along just quietly enough for Hyo-sonn to not be disturbed in the backseat.
Once the girl is dropped off at Myung-gi and Dae-ho’s shared home, Jun-hee collapses into the passenger's seat and closes her eyes.
She sleeps for the whole ride home.
They head inside as soon as Se-mi wakes Jun-hee up, and the two girls make a beeline towards the bathroom. Se-mi makes a pit stop to grab towels and washcloths for them both; Jun-hee’s already stripping when Se-mi finally enters the room.
“Can we shower together?” Jun-hee asks softly, seemingly embarrassed. “To save water… you know?”
Se-mi nods, putting the towels away so they don’t get wet and tossing the cloth into the bathtub.
“Do you like warm water?”
“Yes, please.”
So, Se-mi begins to run some warm water. Once the water is to both of their liking, Se-mi pulls the nozzle to turn the shower head on. They head under the water and Jun-hee immediately sighs.
The ache of giving birth (and the parts after, too), along with the lack of sleep due to the wailing baby and overall stress has caused her body to tense.
She’s almost ashamed of her body — stretch marks litter her saggy skin and her stomach is still a bit swollen. Her hair is greasy and her face is twice as bad, with no time to do her typical skincare nor makeup.
Still, Se-mi looks at her like she’s the most beautiful thing in the universe.
“Is that what you needed, pretty girl?”
Jun-hee nods. “Absolutely…”
Se-mi stands, similarly bare, in the shower, grabbing Jun-hee’s coconut scented shampoo and squirting a bit into her hands.
“Let me wash your hair, okay?”
“Okay,” Jun-hee consents. Immediately, she feels delicate hands lathering her blonde and brown hair in the shampoo — Se-mi even knows that Jun-hee likes to shampoo twice, so once the first cycle is rinsed from her, she does it again.
“I can’t believe you grew a whole human in you,” Se-mi chuckles, “I’ve heard of pregnancy glow, but damn…”
Jun-hee blushes. “I’m not glowing, you liar.”
Jun-hee faces Se-mi with a soft yet teasing grin.
“You are to me,” Se-mi responds all too earnestly. “You created someone absolutely perfect, it’s beautiful.”
“Pregnancy always scared me as a kid,” Jun-hee admits, “I didn’t like the idea of having to marry a boy and turning all gross.”
“Is that not why you’re a lesbian, then?”
“I didn’t even know that word back then,” Jun-hee rolls her eyes.
“I’m serious, Jun-hee,” Se-mi says, brown eyes filled with adoration, “you’re perfect to me, especially now — don’t call yourself gross.”
Tears begin to form in Jun-hee’s eyes — she blames the unstable postpartum hormones. “Thank you, Se-mi.”
“I love this raw side of you,” Se-mi simply continues, guiding Jun-hee’s head under the shower head once more.
Jun-hee stays quiet, save for the occasional sniffle from her cries. Se-mi leans in and kisses away her tears (that’s her excuse, though Jun-hee knows the tears are mixed with the water from the shower — they wash away on their own).
Se-mi then grabs the conditioner and begins to do that task for Jun-hee, too.
“Let me wash your hair, Se-mi,” Jun-hee purrs.
“No,” Se-mi playfully scolds, “you’ll be washing a lot of baby hair in your future. Let me take care of you right now.”
Once the conditioner is left to set for a few minutes, Se-mi quickly washes her own hair. Jun-hee admires her — her toned, thin arms and how the muscles move as she raises her hands up to wash her short black hair.
Jun-hee used to feel jealous when looking at other girls. They’re all so gorgeous, and she’s… just Jun-hee. But Se-mi is teaching her that just Jun-hee is more than perfect. She’s a woman who deserves value and love, admiration and family. Se-mi plans to give her that and more.
“Jun-hee,” Se-mi mumbles softly with a curious tilt of her head. Jun-hee realizes quickly that she’s been staring at Se-mi for a couple moments now. When Jun-hee comes back mentally, the other woman smiles. “Lost you for a moment, dear.”
“Sorry,” Jun-hee hums, “I just love you.”
“That’s why you’re crying?” Se-mi cocks a brow.
“I just gave birth, give me a break!”
Se-mi laughs, finally moving Jun-hee’s head to rinse out the conditioner.
Once Se-mi washes both of their bodies — Jun-hee’s with only the softest touch — the two girls exit the shower.
Se-mi lies in Jun-hee’s bed afterwards, damp hair scattered on her pillow and only dressed in a pair of multicolored boxers and an oversized tee (which her nipple piercings poke out through). Jun-hee slips on a pair of boxers as well, finding some graphic tee that Se-mi had probably left months ago and slipping that on.
“Is that my shirt?” Se-mi questions as Jun-hee crawls into bed; she curls into the other woman’s grasp.
Jun-hee shrugs. “Probably,” she hums. She perks her head up slightly and presses a chaste kiss to Se-mi’s lips, smiling as she pulls back.
“You drive me crazy,” Se-mi giggles.
“Nothing for at least six weeks,” Jun-hee hums stubbornly, “doctor’s orders.”
Se-mi rolls her eyes.
“I love you, Se-mi. Thank you.”
“…don’t thank me,” she grumbles, flustered, “I love you, too.”