Chapter Text
It started the way it would have to start, in order for their arrangement to be realistic. With a sudden and inarguable need.
One of the perks about having had to deal with the whole mess of being demonized by the press after they'd saved Secret and most of the super hero community's ages had been fucked with before everything got sorted, was that now they were actually a settled and acknowledged group of superheroes. It no longer felt like such a mad scramble all the time to prove themselves by finding people to help, or just constantly reacting to threats instead of already being aware of them and mitigating things before they got personal.
This meant that not every mission that they didn't take the whole team on was because someone was injured/having a personal crisis/or otherwise indisposed, or even because the mission was a rescue mission to save whoever they were missing. No, now missions that didn't involve the whole team were like that because they just didn't need the whole team all the time. It was great.
Tim could create an entire power point on how this model of the YJ team was so much more efficient than it'd been previously. How so much less of their work was desperate reaction and was now just, action, and even sometimes prevention. Plus, it left them all with more rest time, which meant more hanging out at headquarters-the abandoned hotel with its sprawling grounds that they were effectively squatting in- with the team, which Tim could easily make an argument for necessary team bonding with that.
It was great, honestly, or at least as great as superhero work could ever be, which meant that every once in a while it totally sucked.
"LEFT!" He called as he and Wonder Girl darted down the corridor to their left.
"Still got him, Rob?" Wonder Girl asked as the corridor curved further left.
"Yeah!" He called back, trading glances between the screen on his wrist gauntlet with the moving glowing dot and his surroundings so he didn't eat shit "He seems to be circling back around!"
"Good, he probably thinks he tricked us." Wonder Girl replied.
Robin was thinking the same thing. The robed man definitely hadn't noticed that tracker he'd stuck on him before he'd made his escape back when he and Wonder Girl had cornered him. It had been a good plan, getting the robed man to think he had a chance of escaping them so he'd lead them back to his secret lab. Not that Robin was surprised, he and Wonder Girl always made good plans between the two of them, it was the upside to being the two members of the team with brain cells.
"Right up here." He called as they approached another fork of hallways and they both whipped around the corner and then skidded to a stop.
"Uh," Wonder Girl hummed, peering over his shoulder at his wrist gauntlet that showed the beeping dot right behind the wall they were now facing, "I guess this would be the downside of having a tracker without having the layout. Maybe I can punch through the wall?"
"No, I swear he went this way too." Robin growled, examining the wall in front of him, "There's got to be a secret entrance."
Wonder Girl nodded, not needing any further evidence than his word, bless her honestly. She both listened to him all the way through while paying attention, unlike some people (*cough* Impulse *cough*) and then didn't ask stupid questions or just generally question his judgement (*cough* Superboy *cough*).
Although, if he was being entirely honest, Superboy hadn't really been undermining his leadership or questioning his judgement at all as of late. Ever since they'd- oh, actually in hindsight, Superboy hadn't been pulling that crap ever since he came back to the team after being held captive for months and being replaced by his clone. He'd have to review his memories when he had more time to just reassess, but now he was pretty sure that all of those instances were just Superboy's clone and not even him.
Whatever, that was a problem for later, right now he needed to find a secret entrance. He let his fingers dance along the wall, digging his nails into seams and cracks, trying to find any way to trigger an opening mechanism. Meanwhile, Wonder Girl was messing with the objects attached to the wall, flipping light switches and pulling aside paintings.
When the wall finally groaned and a section of it started swinging inwards, he honestly wasn't sure which of them had triggered it. Not that it mattered, they pushed their way inside quickly, the hooded man whipping around to face them.
Robin opened his mouth, about to let out a clever quip about having cornered the man, seeing as there were no other visible entrances or exits. Instead, he was cut off by a veritable mound of what seemed to be a flowery scented finely ground sand dumped on him and Wonder Girl.
"Phle-" he heard Wonder Girl spit as he tried to wipe the stuff off his face and shake the little piles that had collected on his shoulders off.
"You Ok, WG?" He called, clearing the whites of his mask of the stuff so he could see.
"Yeah, fine," she called back, "this stuff just doesn't taste as good as it smells."
That was definitely true, he commiserated as he finally cleared his field of vision enough to see an empty robe on the floor in front of them and no man in sight. He swore in his head, kicking at the robe. The tracker had been placed in one of the pockets, he didn't need to check his wrist gauntlet to know that the dot would still be right in front of them.
"We lost him." He told Wonder Girl, just in case she hadn't also noticed.
"Yeah, I noticed that." She replied, still trying to rub the stuff off her skin, "I'm more worried about what the hell this stuff is."
He didn't have the heart to tell her that at this point she was rubbing the powder more into her skin than off of it. The damage had already been done anyway. He examined the powder, knowing what it reminded him of, but reasonably confident that it couldn't be that.
"It reminds me a bit of some stuff one of the Gotham Rogues came up with a while back, but she was pretty tight-lipped about the formula." He shrugged, "I've never seen or heard of it being used outside of Gotham, so at least we don't have to worry about that."
Wonder Girl let out a huff, "Right, thank god for small miracles. The last thing anyone needs is some god-awful Gotham-made biological agent."
"True, but we still don't know what it is." He squared his shoulders, already going through his bat-training for what to do when dealing with exposure to an unknown substance. "What we do know is that, whatever it is, it doesn't activate immediately, which means we have a bit of time to poke around to see if there's any notes lying around about what this guy was working on in this lab. With any luck, we'll find info about what this stuff is, what it does, and how to counteract it."
"Sounds like a plan." She nodded, already moving towards one of the lab tables on her right while he scooped some of the powder into an empty test tube that was lying on the table to his left and stoppered it.
"I'm setting a timer for ten minutes." He told her, sliding his collected sample into one of the pockets on his belt in case they needed to run tests on it later, "Hopefully I'm right about it being a slower acting agent and that gives us enough time to get back to base before it kicks in."
She nodded, accepting that easily before cocking her head to the side, "What if we don't figure out what it is by then?"
He sighed, "Then we go back anyways, tell Bart and SB what happened and hope they can figure it out, and if they can't we hope that they have the common sense to call in the adults."
He heard her blow out a breath of air at that, "Ok, guess we're gonna need to turn this lab upside down in the next ten minutes otherwise we're totally screwed."
"Yup," he agreed, trying not to seem as worried about it as he was, "that about sums it up."
They continued on in silence, practically tearing apart the lab in their search for information. Not that they found anything about the powder that had been dumped on them. They did find a lot of information on the chemicals the robed guy's organization had been poisoning water supplies all across the states with, which was objectively a good thing since that was what they'd come here for in the first place, but it still did nothing to ease the air of anxiety between them.
It was at the five minute mark that Robin started to feel it. The familiar sensation of his skin not feeling quite right, and his breathing not being able to steady itself. It couldn't be that though, it was just confirmation bias, or placebo affect, or whatever. He'd thought about Ivy's cuddle pollen earlier, and now he was tricking himself into thinking he was exhibiting the symptoms when he wasn't.
At the eight minute mark it felt worse, and he could swear the room's temperature had dropped at least 15 degrees. That was when Wonder Girl spoke up.
"Uh, Robin, I don't feel right." She stuttered out, her teeth chattering as she rubbed at her upper arms.
He wasn't ready to jump to any conclusions yet though, maybe the room's temperature really had dropped for some reason, "Describe your symptoms." He instructed her, doing his very best to sound as unaffected as possible.
"Uh, I don't really know how to explain this feeling. It's like I'm cold, and my skin doesn't feel right." She started, sounding unsure, "like my skin is stretched over my bones wrong, and it's itchy and there's this, like, hollow feeling somewhere in me and I don't know what it is."
She sounded freaked out, really freaked out. He should reassure her. Except, he was stuck on the piece of paper he'd just found tucked between the pages of a book. It was a receipt for an order. It didn't say what had been ordered, but between the hefty price, the address it was ordered from being a Gotham address, and the symptoms he and Wonder Girl were experiencing, he knew what the substance was.
He sighed, "Remember when I said we didn't have to worry about it being the stuff from Gotham?" He asked, turning to face her, already feeling the exhaustion that he knew the rest of the day was going to bring, "I was wrong."
He watched Wonder Girl's face crumple, "Oh God, am I going to die? That's not fair, I don't deserve to die like this when I'm not even from Gotham!"
He ignored the implication that he knew she didn't mean about people who were from Gotham deserving this fate, and instead chose to inform her that she, in fact, was at no risk for dying.
"You're going to be fine Wonder Girl, I promise." He told her, "The first hour is gonna be kind of uncomfortable, but once we're back at base and we've showered this stuff off, we'll get you set up with everything you need and you'll be fine. Hell, some people even kind of enjoy getting dosed with this stuff."
"W-what?! H-how?!" Her teeth were chattering harder now, her hands rubbing at her arms frantically as if it could come close to stimulating what she really needed, "Th-this isn't en-enjoyable at a-all!"
"No, it's not." He agreed, with a sigh, knowing that this would be easier for him to deal with later if he abstained from giving in to the clawing desire for touch now, but also knowing that he couldn't just let Wonder Girl continue being this miserable until he could get her set up back at base with someone better. "But I've been told it can be if you ride it out with the right person."
"Wh-what?" She stuttered, and it was clear that she still hadn't figured out exactly what it was her body was craving as he watched her try to pull the hem of her shorts down to cover more of her skin, presumably in an attempt to fend off the cold.
"Come here." He beckoned her forward, "Wonder Girl, is it alright if I touch you?"
It took all of his will power, and the fact that his hands had an iron grip on the table behind him, to resist from rubbing and scratching at his own skin the way she was. He knew from experience that despite the desperate desire to do so, it didn't actually help, and you just ended up with gouges from your own fingernails in your skin by the next day. He knew he wouldn't be able to resist the urge forever, but the longer he held out the less wrecked his skin would hopefully be tomorrow.
Wonder Girl stepped closer to him, standing just within arms reach of him now, "I-I don't un-understand? I-it f-feels like I-it's g-getting w-worse!"
"Yeah, it d-does that," he sucked in a sharp breath at the hitch in his own voice, clenching his jaw for a moment to try and get rid of the quaking, Wonder Girl was freaking out, seeing him succumb to this stuff would just make her freak out worse, he was supposed to be Robin after all, "It keeps getting worse until it crests in about 6-8 hours then it starts getting better, or you get what the pollen is telling your body it needs and it gets better immediately. Either way, you're at no risk of dying or being hurt, just a sucky 8-12 hours at worst. Now, I can help now if you want, but you gotta give me an answer WG, can I touch you?"
She nodded immediately, "Y-yeah, p-please help, d-do wh-whatever!"
He unclenched one hand's iron grip from the desk behind him and slowly reached out with a shaking hand to grip her shoulder. The reaction was immediate, Wonder Girl gasped sharply, and he couldn't tell if she dove forward or if he yanked her forward but less than a second later she was colliding with him and their arms were wrapping desperately around each other.
He let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and let himself just enjoy the relief washing over him for a moment. God, it felt nice, he'd forgotten how nice it could feel when someone finally touched you after you'd been dosed. He'd forgotten that it didn't need to just be an all out miserable experience.
"What the hell?" Wonder Girl mumbled against his shoulder, "What is this stuff?"
He took a breath, steeling himself. Just cause he was hugging someone now didn't mean that he wouldn't need to tough it out again later. He wasn't who Wonder Girl would want to ride this thing out with, he knew that, he was perfectly fine with that. He could help her out until he could get her to someone that would be her first choice to ride this out with, and then he was on his own again. It was tempting, to just stay with her for the next 8-12 hours, and he knew she'd let him, but he'd promised himself after his first dose of this stuff that he wouldn't ride this out with someone who wished he was someone else.
"We call it cuddle pollen." He explained, "There's a more scientific name for the stuff, but that's basically the gist of it. It'll make you feel really sucky unless you hunker down with someone and cuddle it out for the next 8-12 hours. It's not deadly or harmful either way though, so definitely not the worst biological agent we could've come across."
"So, what? Are we just stuck here hugging for the next 8-12 hours?" She huffed, "Cause while this definitely feels good, this also isn't a very comfortable position."
"No, we'd just get like, eternally dosed if we stayed in a room covered in the stuff." He chuckled, "Can you fly us both back to base? I'd call the supercycle, but since it's sentient I don't want to find out if the pollen can affect it too. Plus cleaning the pollen out of it would be a nightmare."
"Yeah, Course." She agreed, and they started shuffling back out of the room awkwardly while still wrapped in a hug.
They made it to a window back out in the hallway which he held his breath as he let go with one arm to reach out and open. He felt her squeeze him tighter and knew she felt the loss of contact as keenly as he did. Once it was open he wrapped the arm back around her and a second later she had him in a princess carry as they took to the skies.
"This definitely isn't very dignified." He snorted, "Don't tell Superboy you carried me like this."
She laughed, "I'm not sure there is a super dignified way to carry you right now, given the whole pollen situation, but I won't tell."
"Yeah, I know, that's why I'm not telling you to switch it." He agreed, "Thanks for not telling him though, I'd never live it down."
"True, but that doesn't mean I can't tease you later." She pointed out with another laugh.
"Shut up, he swatted at her shoulder lightly, and laughed along with her, "You need this just as much as I do."
She just laughed again, and despite her teasing now, he knew she wouldn't use this against him later. Wonder Girl was good about not being an asshole like that, at least so long as you didn't deserve asshole treatment.
It didn't take too long to get back to base, thanks to Wonder Girl's flying and the fact that it wasn't too far away to begin with. When they touched down on the grass by the front door it didn't take more than twenty seconds for them to have a speedster in front of them.
"Hey guys, are we hugging? Nice!" Bart crowed, moving forward to join them immediately.
"NO!" He and Wonder Girl both shouted, and Bart did a double take before pouting.
"Why not?" He cried, looking actually visibly upset at not being allowed into their hug.
"Bart, we're covered in cuddle pollen, we need to decontaminate before anyone can touch us." Robin explained, and for once Bart actually seemed to listen to him.
"Cuddle pollen doesn't sound so bad, I wouldn't mind getting to hug you guys." He argued, inching forward.
"No, Bart!" Wonder Girl said sharply, "Listen to Rob on this one, if you get this stuff on you it'll mean you'll have to stay still for 8-12 hours to hug someone otherwise you'll be feeling incredibly terrible."
"Oh," Bart scooched back, "that's a really long time to hold still."
"Yeah," Robin huffed, "but we could use your help right now."
"Yeah, anything!" Bart nodded enthusiastically, then there was a flash and Bart was standing in front of them with bags of chips, "you guys need snacks ?"
"Not right now, Bart." Wonder Girl said, a fond smile on her face, "thanks though."
"Bart, I need you to go to each of our rooms, grab us each sweats and a tank top for WG, then meet us in the bathroom closest to the front door." He told Bart, glad to have the help since it meant they didn't have to figure out the mess of getting clothes after they'd taken their decontamination showers.
Bart was gone, and he really hoped the speedster had actually listened to the instructions fully. He and Wonder Girl did their awkward hugging shuffle into the hotel, heading towards the gym area that was off the lobby to their right. Luckily any loose pollen there'd been on them had come off during the high speed flight so they weren't tracking it anywhere, but they still needed to shower thoroughly just to be sure.
They headed into the locker room off the gym and then stopped as they assessed the shower situation. The decontamination showers back at the Cave were designed to be taken either as a group or individually, but these showers were very small individual stalls.
"Um, Rob, I'm not really comfortable sharing one of those stalls with you naked." Wonder Girl said.
"No, of course not." He assured her, "I'm just trying to see what other options we might have. It's looking like we either let go completely or we can hold hands over the divider."
He watched her take off the goggles, and then it was just Cassie standing there with an arm around his waist. He took off his mask too, and then he was just Tim, even though she didn't know that that was his name he still felt a little more real when she could see his face. He was really glad Batman had let him show his face to his team, if not for this sort of moment then for the fact that having to ride out the pollen with a mask glued to his skin would've sucked.
"Let's hold hands," Cassie decided, "that'll probably suck a little less."
He nodded his agreement as they both walked over to the stalls. It was a little bit awful having to untangle themselves until they were only holding hands so they could step into individual stalls, but it wasn't outright painful. He felt the hitch in his breathing come back, and he could feel the tremor running through Cassie from where their hands were connected. He ignored it as best he could though as he started stripping out of his uniform and tossing it over into the stall on his other side to be collected and cleaned later.
"I'm back guys!" Bart called, accompanied by the tell tale whoosh. "I'm leaving your clothes right outside your stalls."
"Thanks Bart!" Cassie called, her shower turning on.
"Good," Tim echoed, turning his own shower on, fighting the urge to yelp at the cold water, "Now, can you go get Cissie from her school. Tell her Cassie needs her for something important, but it's not a mission. Bring her to Cassie's room and make sure there's blankets, drinks, and snacks all within easy reach of the bed and wait there for us."
"You got it Boss." Bart called, and there was the whoosh that signaled him leaving.
"Well, this isn't exactly the way I expected to spend the girls day I've been wanting to have." Cassie joked, though there was a part of her voice that sounded genuinely unhappy.
"That's alright, you and Cissie are thick as thieves, she'll be happy to spend the day with you however." He tried to reassure her as he scrubbed the soap over every inch of his skin. "Besides, it's like I said. I've been told that this stuff can be really nice if you've got the right person to hunker down with. You and Cissie will probably end up having a really nice afternoon. Plus, even if Secret can't hold a corporeal form for long enough to cuddle, I'm sure she'd still be happy to hang out so it'll be even more of a girls day."
"That's true." Cassie said, and he could practically hear her perking up.
Good, she deserved to have a nice day, and a nice experience with the pollen. She was a good person and a good hero and he was not going to be jealous of the fact that she had a best friend like that and a mom who was waiting at home for her and all the things he didn't normally care about when this stupid fucking pollen wasn't clouding his mind.
Their showers didn't last long after that, and while they had needed to let go to dry off and get dressed they were able to do so pretty quickly. They came back together pretty quickly and the relief was immediate.
"Did Bart forget to bring you a shirt or were you just too impatient?" She asked, a teasing lilt to her voice as she poked his shirtless shoulder.
"Oh, uh, no I didn't tell him to bring one." He shrugged, trying not to blush and cursing himself for not explaining the pollen properly before, "This stuff makes you crave as much skin contact as possible, sorry if I made you uncomfortable I just thought this would be best."
"No, no, it's fine." She laughed, "I honestly can't remember the last time Superboy managed to keep his shirt on for an entire day, and Bart runs around without a shirt all the time. I'm just teasing cause I don't think I've ever seen you without one."
"Oh, uh yeah, I guess not." He agreed as they started making their way back across the lobby and towards the main stairs, "I've got scars and stuff, which Batman says are identifying features so I didn't go shirtless before cause of that, but you guys have seen my face now so it doesn't really matter anymore."
She nodded against his shoulder as they made their way to the third floor, "Yeah that makes sense I guess. Does this mean you're gonna start running around shirtless all the time now too?"
He snorted, "Definitely not, but I can swim with you guys now."
"Oooh nice! I'll remember that next time we plan a pool day!" She crowed, and he could feel her grin against his shoulder, he knew they'd all been trying to get him to swim with them for a while now.
"Yeah, it'll be nice to finally be able to." He agreed as they came to a stop outside Cassie's door and she reached out a hand to push it open.
Cissie was inside, clearly already making herself comfy on the bed in a pair of Cassie's pajama pants and a crop top. Her eyes widened when she took in the sight of the two of them clinging to each other in the doorway.
"Woah, what happened to you two?" She said, "Bart just said you needed me and then said he'd be back in a flash."
Tim rolled his eyes at that, god forbid Bart ever hold still long enough to explain his reason for doing anything.
"We're having a girls day is what's happening." Cassie explained, lifting her head from his shoulder to grin at her best friend, "Featuring 8-12 straight hours of cuddling!"
Cissie blinked, "huh?"
Tim sighed, this time at Cassie's apparent inability to explain things properly, "We got hit with Cuddle pollen on our last mission. It's this stuff out of Gotham, and it basically makes you feel really sucky unless you get enough skin to skin physical touch. It'll run in your system for about 8-12 hours depending on the person and the dosage, and based on our dosage I'd guess it'll be about 12 hours."
"Oh," Cissie said, "So you need hugs? Is that all?"
"Yeah, pretty much." He shrugged, "Look, Ciss, this can be a kind of big ask so you need to say now if you're not ok with it. Letting go of someone whose been dosed, there's not actual danger, but it really hurts, ok? So if you say yes to this thing you really gotta stick it out."
"I- yeah, of course, yes!" Cissie was nodding, "I have literally no problem cuddling the day away especially if it's hurting you not to."
"Great," he let out a puff of air, as he shuffled them towards the bed and pretended it was a sigh of relief instead of disappointment at the fact that he'd be on his own again soon, "Come and take her."
Cissie did, shuffling towards the edge of the bed and then wrapping her arms around Cassie's torso from behind and pulling her towards her. It took every last bit of his will power to let Cassie go, his knees buckling as he ended up sucking in desperate breaths as he knelt on the floor next to her bed.
"Jesus, Rob, get over here." Cassie said, sounding incredibly worried.
"No! Don't!" He gasped out as he saw one of her hands reaching towards him. "Just- Just give me a second."
He stared down at where his hands were resting on his thighs, clenching and unclenching, visibly desperate for something that they could no longer cling onto. He forced his breath to steady itself as much as he could, but he knew the way his chest was hitching was still visible to both the girls, especially since he had no shirt.
"It's alright, I'm alright." He tried to sooth the worried tension in the room as he got to his feet, "I'll get out of your hair now. I'll tell Bart to send Secret in if I run into him."
"What, no?!" Cassie called, blinking up at him in confusion, "Rob, don't be ridiculous, just get in the bed."
"You're alright Cassie, you don't need me anymore you're gonna be ok now." He tried to assure her as he backed towards the door, "Besides, it wouldn't really be a girls day with me here."
Cissie and Cassie both scoffed in synch. "I think we can make an exception this time, dude."
"Robin, I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about you!" Cassie added, "You got hit with that stuff just as much as I did."
He tried to scoff too, though it came out a bit choked, "I'm fine Cassie, I'm from Gotham, this isn't my first time riding this stuff out. I know what to do, I'll be fine, you don't need to bother being worried about me."
He was at the door now and he backed through it, "Bart should be back soon, so you can ask him if you guys need something. If he's not around then you can call for Superboy, he's here somewhere and he'll hear you if you need something." He told them, before turning on his heel and walking away.
He heard them calling out after him, but he forced himself to keep walking. They were being kind with their offer, but he knew it wasn't something that they would genuinely want or even be comfortable with outside this scenario. They would be fine with the occasional friendly hug, but he didn't have the comfort level with them that they had with each other. He knew they already shared cassie's twin size mattress during sleepovers and that they could often be found sitting pressed together on the couch. It was different for the two of them, they could actually enjoy this time together versus it being awkward and kind of uncomfortable with him there for the next 12 hours. He wasn't going to subject any of them to that.
He made his way back towards the stairwell, intending to grab the heating packs the girls kept in a drawer in the kitchen and heat them up before heading for his own bed. He was infinitely grateful that he'd had the forethought to set himself up here with some weighted blankets. Though they'd originally been intended for nights where he had trouble falling asleep, this would work too.
He ran into Bart on the stairs, the telltale whoosh and suddenly his friend was standing in front of him with bottles of water and Gatorade and the chip bags from earlier. He watched as Bart set them down and lunged to hug him before he could stop it. Bart's arms wrapped around him lightning quick and squeezed hard, just long enough for him to relax into it instinctually before they were being ripped away again.
Tim couldn't have helped the noise that was ripped out of his chest if he'd tried as he gripped at the banister to keep himself standing.
"Nonononono! That was supposed to help!" Bart was saying, sounding incredibly distressed, "That wasn't- I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you! Let me try again!"
"No!" Tim all but yelled as Bart tried to close the distance between them again, "No! God Bart please don't!"
If it were anyone else, he'd never be able to look them in the eyes again after having to beg so desperately to them, but as it was Bart was both unlikely to hold it against him or really remember it. Not that Bart's ability to remember things was bad, from what Tim could tell Bart actually had great memory storage abilities. He just never took the time to actually recall any of those memories unless directly prompted to, and Tim had no intention of directly prompting him to.
"I- I'm really sorry, Rob, I didn't mean to hurt you." Tim's head whipped up, and yeah, those were genuine tears in Bart's eyes.
"No, Bart, it's not your fault. You just can't do that again, ok?" He sighed, getting his legs to solidify enough to hold his weight without the banister, "This stuff, it's gotta be constant physical contact. If you touch me and then let go it really hurts, and, well, if you keep touching someone and letting go, um, that's been used as a torture tactic before actually, so please don't touch me right now."
Bart looked suitably horrified at that, "I'm so sorry!"
"No, its- like I said, its not your fault, you didn't know." He tried to smile kindly but he was pretty sure it came across as more of a grimace, "It'll be fine Bart, just take a deep breath and don't do it again."
Bart did take a deep breath, but his eyes remained watery. Tim wished he could give the poor guy a hug without it hurting him so much. "I promise I won't, but Rob, what are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be with Cassie?"
Tim shook his head, "No, it's fine Bart, I didn't leave her alone, she's with Cissie now, she'll be fine." He assured the other boy, "Why don't you go drop off those snacks and drinks for them and then go round up Secret so they can have their girls day. I'm sure they'll let you hang out with them for a bit, or you can go bug Kon for company. I'm not going to be very fun today."
Tim was prepared for Bart to nod and dash off, but instead he shook his head, "What about you?"
"Oh, don't worry about me." Tim shook his head, realizing where the confusion was, "I'm just gonna go grab something from the kitchen and then I'm going to hunker down too. I've ridden this stuff out before, Bart, I know what to do. You don't need to be worried about me."
With that he started heading down the stairs again, only pausing when Bart called out after him, "Are you sure?"
"Yeah!" He called out, nodding to his friend, "I'll be fine, besides I'm mobile and the girls are not, go help them out."
"I-ok." Bart agreed, though he sounded more reluctant then he ever did when he had a clear course of action, "Just, call me if you need something. I know I'm really bad at holding still, but there are drugs I can take that will knock me out for long enough for me to stay with you."
Tim was touched, more touched than he expected to be. He knew Bart cared about him, Bart had always been open and honest about his affection for them all in a way that had always been refreshing to him. He hadn't expected Bart to offer to drug himself unconscious for 12 hours just to save him a bit of discomfort though.
"Thanks, Bart, that- that's real nice of you." He said, turning back to look at his friend, "This stuff isn't deadly though, and it won't hurt me, so I don't want you drugging yourself over this, but thanks anyway."
Bart nodded, chewing on his lip, "Just let me know if you change your mind." He said finally, and waited for him to nod before he disappeared again with the drinks and snacks.
Tim sighed, all alone in the huge entry hall now. The next 12, or hopefully 11 at this point, hours were going to suck, but at least he had the assurance that there was actually someone willing to drug themselves to spend that time with him because they actually wanted to if he would let them. Hopefully that would be enough to tide him over and make this whole experience be a little better than he remembered his last run in with cuddle pollen being.
............................................
It was around noon when he heard his name being called. He'd been in his room playing with the video game set up that Robin had installed for him and hadn't even changed out of his pajamas yet.
There were actually four people calling his name, Cassie, Cissie, Secret, and Bart, and they sounded like things weren't all ok but also like it wasn't an emergency either. So he took the time to change out his pajama pants for a cleanish pair of sweats, not bothering with a shirt before heading in the direction of Cassie's room.
Now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure Cassie and Rob had gone on a mission this morning, they must be back now though. It was a bit of a surprise that Rob hadn't made them all circle up in the conference room they'd picked as their strategy/debrief room. Whatever, maybe they were doing the debrief in Cassie's room for some reason.
"Hey, you called?" He said, swooping through the doorway before landing on the floor at the foot of the bed.
He took in the room, everyone was here except Robin. Cassie and Cissie were all cozy and curled up in the bed with Secret floating nearby. Bart was pacing by the window with tear tracks down his cheeks. Superboy blinked in shock at that.
"Woah, hey, Bart? What's going on?" He asked, stepping towards him with his arms outstretched, "C'mere dude."
Bart did, immediately burying himself in Superboy's chest and mumbling something so convoluted even his super hearing couldn't pick it out.
"What was that, bud?" Kon asked gently, looking at the girls for some idea of what was going on here, but they all just looked worried and upset too.
"I accidentally tortured Robin!" Bart exclaimed pulling away from Superboy to tug at his hair.
"What?!" Kon asked, alarmed now, especially with Rob's absence, though that didn't stop him from pulling Bart's hands out of his hair and pulling his friend back into his arms.
"That's not what happened Bart," Cissie said in a reassuring tone, "Besides, you didn't mean to hurt him."
So Robin had been hurt in some way, even if it wasn't torture.
"What happened?" He asked the room at large, "What is going on?"
Cassie sat up a bit, though she stayed wrapped in Cissie's arms, "When Rob and I were on the mission this morning we got hit with cuddle pollen. It's this stuff out of Gotham, and it doesn't kill you or do permanent damage. It basically just makes you really miserable if you don't get physical touch while it's in your system for the next 8-12 hours."
"So that's why you two are all cuddled up?" He nodded, gesturing between her and Cissie.
They nodded, "Yeah. Rob and I were hugging before, and I thought that he told Bart to go get Cissie since we were going to be stuck here all day and it would get boring, but then he just had Cissie take me and he left. We tried to stop him cause he got hit with the stuff just as much as I did, but he just said we didn't need to worry about him and then left."
"Then I ran into him on the stairs," Bart picked up, "And I knew that they needed physical touch and he was walking around all alone so I hugged him, but when I let go he made this noise like he was in pain. I tried to hug him again and he told me not to. He said the physical touch needed to be constant and that letting go like that was used as a torture method over in Gotham cause it really hurt! So I basically tortured him."
"He said that doing it repeatedly was a torture method," Secret corrected, "So, no you didn't."
"Was he upset with you?" Kon asked Bart, who shook his head no.
"He said that I didn't know so it wasn't my fault."
"Then it wasn't your fault, and he's not upset with you." Kon reassured him, "You're fine dude, take a breath."
Bart did, then, let go, seeming better than before. "You gotta go find him."
"What?"
"Look, someone needs to, and Cassie and I aren't super mobile right now, Secret can't hold a corporeal form for more than a few minutes, and Robin said no to Bart's offer to drug himself to sleep so he could stay still long enough to do it." Cissie explained, seeming frustrated, "Which was a nice offer, but I get why he said no. This stuff isn't deadly or permanently harmful so there's no need to put yourself in a 12 hour coma over it. Especially when you are perfectly able to stay still, stay corporeal, and are mobile enough to get to him."
"No, look, I get that part of it." He sighed, because he didn't want it to sound like he didn't want to help when he did, it was just... "It sounds like he left when you gave him an open invite for cuddles. If this stuff isn't dangerous, and he said no cause he's really uncomfortable about it for whatever reason, then I don't want to force the guy. Especially if the worst of this is that he feels a little uncomfy for the rest of the day."
Cassie was already shaking her head, "It's not just 'kind of uncomfortable' Kon, it felt really bad. Like my skin was all wrong and I could scratch it all off just trying to make it feel right, and I was freezing even though the room wasn't cold. There was this feeling too, this certainty that I was never going to be touched by anyone ever again, like the world was suddenly empty even though Robin was right across the room, and that there was no one to ever touch me again. It feels really really awful," She explained, and he watched as Cissie squeezed her a bit tighter at hearing the words, "And he wasn't ok either. He was trying to look like he was but he wasn't. I could see him shaking and his chest was hitching every time he tried to breath. I don't want him alone if he doesn't have to be, Kon, no one deserves that."
Something nervous was tangled in his chest and it wound itself tighter and tighter the more she talked. Honestly, he also didn't want Robin to be alone with this, but that didn't fix the problem he'd brought up.
"Cass, I can't force him into something he's uncomfortable with." He sighed.
"I know that, but I don't think he is uncomfortable with it. I think it's a pride thing. The way he said we didn't have to worry about him, and that he was from Gotham and knew what he was doing, I think he was trying to act tough and save some of his pride. Which is stupid, by the way, you boys are always stupid with that stuff."
"Cass, if it's a pride thing, then I really don't think I'm the one we should send in." He pointed out, because he was not unaware of his own jackass tendencies despite the fact that he actually did want to help in this instance.
"First of all, as we've already established everyone else either isn't an option or is tied up at the moment." Cassie started, "Second of all, you're the most likely to be an asshole about this whole situation to him, which is why it'll be best if it's you. He'll be expecting you to be judgmental, so if you go in, and don't act like a judgmental jackass, then he'll see that if even you're not judging him then his pride can remain intact and he'll let you help."
Superboy wasn't entirely sure about all that, if he was honest, but Cassie was smarter than him so it was worth a shot. "Alright, what do I need to know about how this stuff works?"
Cassie nodded at him in approval, "We already took decontamination showers, so it won't affect you. It'll run in his system for about 8-12 hours, though he said we'd probably have it closer to the 12 hour mark since we got such a high dose. He'll need constant physical contact, as much of you guys touching as you can manage, holding hands can work for short periods of time if you really need to be mobile, but it's almost as bad as no contact so avoid it if possible. Taking away contact will hurt, so avoid that at all costs, and skin to skin contact is the best so it actually works in your favor that you're shirtless. You should grab something to eat and drink and bring it up with you since you'll be there for a while too. That's about it."
He nodded, taking that all in, "Alright, but Cassie, I'm not touching him without his permission."
She shook her head, "And I don't want you to. I want you to convince him to let you help him."
He nodded, "Good, as long as we're on the same page." And that was all he needed before he flew down to the kitchen to grab some snacks and drinks before flying up to the top story of the hotel where he knew Robin's room was.
He knocked on the door, hoping Robin had in fact taken shelter in there, and was rewarded with a sigh and a "I'm fine Bart, just go hang with the girls."
He used his TTK to undo the lock and swing the door open, "Not Bart."
A pair of blue eyes peered out of a mound of blankets on the bed. He had half a second to think, oh that's cute, before forcefully shutting down that train of thought. Cassie had said not to be a jackass, and he was fairly certain that thinking of your male friend as 'cute' was jackass behavior.
The blue eyed mound on the bed groaned, "Look Superboy, can you at least wait till tomorrow to rag on me for this."
He furrowed his brows as he kicked the door closed behind him, "I didn't come to rag on you."
"Then why'd you come?" Rob sounded both miserable and frustrated.
"Well, for one, I brought snacks." He announced, dropping the chips and drinks on the nightstand by the bed and then kneeling down so he was eye level with Rob instead of looming over the guy, "Also, the girls told me what happened and how much it sucks. I wanted to offer to help. Bart likes hugging me so I figure I can't be that bad at it."
An amused huff came out of the blankets, "Bart likes hugging everyone." Rob pointed out.
"True," he shrugged, taking note of the way the mound was trembling now that he was close enough to notice it, and Robin's breaths were coming in uneven pants, "That doesn't mean that I'm bad at it though."
Robin sighed, "Look, SB, I appreciate it, but you've made the offer, I'm saying you don't have to worry about me. You can go, guilt free now."
Kon felt his brows furrow again, this time further than before, Cassie had said that she thought this was a pride issue. Superboy knew pride pretty intimately, he knew the way it made you think and act, and this wasn't quite lining up with that.
"Dude, I'm not here to get rid of some sort of guilt. I'm here because you're uncomfortable and you're my teammate." He tried, fighting to keep the frustration out of his voice, he'd never been great at the convincing people to accept his help part of the job.
Robin blinked at him again, like something he'd just said was somehow confusing, "I appreciate that, SB, really, but you really don't have to do this. I don't know what the girls said, but this stuff doesn't actually do any harm. You're under no obligation to help me, I swear I'm not going to be upset if you don't or something. I really meant it when I said you could walk away guilt free right now. You don't have to bother with all this."
Oh. Cassie was wrong, Cassie had been dead wrong. Superboy was well acquainted with pride, frankly there was probably a picture of him in the dictionary next to the word 'peacocking', which was how he knew with absolute certainty that while Robin was trying to tough it out, it wasn't due to pride. It was insecurity.
He honestly had no idea what to do with that realization. Robin was their cool, confident, genius leader. He never seemed insecure, so Kon really really had no idea what to do with this realization.
Luckily, he didn't need to figure that out until later because he already had his marching orders for the rest of the day from Cassie, and they were orders he honestly wanted to follow.
"I'm not here out of obligation, Robin." He said, as firmly and as kindly as he could, "I'm here because I care about you and because I want to help."
Robin seemed taken aback at that, "You... want to do this? Spend the next 11 hours in bed hugging me?"
Which, ok yeah, that did seem like a lot, especially with a guy. Especially with a guy he'd never touched outside of training and missions much less hugged. Robin was his friend though, and he was hurting and Superboy wanted very badly to stop him from hurting and that was what it took to do that, so the decision was already made.
"Fucking yes, Rob, I really do want to!" He said, losing his grip on his calm for a moment before reeling it back in, "Do I need to beg?"
Robin's eyes blew wide at that, "N-no, of course not."
"Ok then, can I help you?" He asked.
"Y-yeah, ok." Robin nodded, and that was all Superboy needed.
He used his TTK a bit to float himself over the Robin lump and onto the bed behind him before lifting the blankets to actually get to the Robin hidden in the lump. The blankets were heavier than he expected, not too heavy for him obviously but clearly weighted with enough of them that he was a little concerned Robin had been crushing himself. Some of the girls' heat packs slid out too and he tossed them to the foot of the bed. Robin was shirtless under the blankets too, which was a new sight, but he was distracted by how badly the other boy was shaking and the clear hitches in his chest as he tried to breathe.
"Jesus, Rob." He muttered, reaching out to grab his shoulder, and as soon as his fingers made contact Robin was rolling towards him and wrapping his arms around him in the blink of an eye.
Kon wrapped his arms around him in return easily and laid them back against the pillows so they'd be more comfortable. Robin was really warm already, likely thanks to the heat packs and mound of blankets, so he only used his TTK to pull one of the thinner unweighted blankets over them. Both because he liked the soft feeling and also cause it felt a bit weird to just be laying like this out in the open for anyone to see. Not that it would probably look much better with them under a blanket, but it still somehow felt like this was the better option.
Whatever, everyone in the hotel already knew what they were doing. They'd basically ordered it actually, so they couldn't judge it. Not that it mattered, he'd have done it even if they did judge.
He squeezed Robin a bit tighter, rubbing a hand up and down his back. It took a minute, but Robin started relaxing, the symptoms he'd been experiencing before easing out of him, and as that happened, the worry leaked out of Kon and he relaxed too, which for some reason made Robin relax even more. He wasn't going to question it though, whatever made Robin stop looking so miserable was what he was going to do.
"You feeling better now?" He asked, keeping his voice low and relaxed as he continued rubbing up and down the other boy's back, trying not to think too hard about the scars he felt there.
Robin nodded against him, "Yeah, thanks." He said and then quieter whispered, "This feels really nice."
He let the corners of his mouth upturn in a pleased grin, trying not to preen too obviously at the praise. He was pretty sure that might qualify 'jackass' behavior and he really didn't want Robin thinking he was getting cocky right now for some reason.
"That's good." He said, "Cassie said it felt really shitty."
"Yeah," Robin let out a huff of laughter against his neck, "That's one way to put it."
Superboy hummed noncommittally, letting his mind wander a bit, "Hey, let me try something," he said, focusing his TTK so it created a bubble around Robin's form, adding pressure against his skin the same way his own arms were, "Does that feel good?"
Robin actually groaned against him, wiggling impossibly closer, "Yes, god yes." He said in a breathless voice before freezing and trying to pull back a little, "sorry, that was embarrassing, I didn't mean to make it weird by reacting like that."
Kon pulled him back against his chest fully, doing his best to hide the fact that he was practically glowing because he'd managed to help Robin well enough that he felt good enough to react like that. "Don't be embarrassed, I'm just glad it helps." He said, starting up the TTK pressure again and Robin practically melted against him.
In his focus on the TTK, he realized he'd stopped rubbing his hand up and down Rob's back, and it was instead cupped around the other boy's ribs. It was weird, cause even though Rob was shorter and leaner than him, he'd never really thought of the boy as small. He still didn't really, small to him meant defenseless, and Robin was definitely not defenseless, but the curve of the bottom of Robin's rib cage fit perfectly in his hand. It felt right in his hand actually, like he was supposed to hold Robin like this, which was a really weird thought to have even given the circumstances.
He cleared his throat, deciding they needed a subject change cause he wasn't going to think about his friend's ribs under his hand anymore, "Does it really feel like no one is ever going to touch you again?" He asked, "Cause Cassie said it did. She said it felt like even though you were right in front of her that the whole world was empty and there was no one left to hug her."
Robin made a noncommittal noise at that, "Sort of. Everyone tends to get the 'no one will ever touch me again' feeling with the pollen, but the reason why you think no one will ever touch you again tends to be more personally tailored."
"Oh," Superboy nodded, before the furrow in his brow came back "What's your reason then?"
Robin stiffened against him. It was weird cause usually Robin wasn't this easy to read, he usually wasn't easy to read at all even with being able to listen to his heart and breathing and stuff. Between the other boy being pressed right up against him and how clearly wrung out he was from the pollen though, Kon guessed today was his once in a lifetime opportunity to really try to get to know his friend.
"You don't have to tell me if you really don't want to." Kon told him, because he wanted Robin to relax against him again, it felt good when he did that, not just because it eased his own concern but also because it felt like he was finally doing something right when that happened.
"No, it's just," he felt Robin let out a warm huff of air against his neck and did his best not to squirm at the ticklish sensation, "For, like, the first time ever, my reason is actually wrong, which makes it feel kind of ridiculous right now even though up until today I've been right about it."
Now he was even more curious, "What was the reason then? Promise I won't make fun, even if it seems stupid right now."
He felt Robin shrug, even as his head stayed buried against his neck, "It's just that- I was always so sure that no one was ever going to touch me again because nobody wanted to touch me."
He said it like it was no big deal, but Kon felt like he'd been sucker punched anyway. Especially since Robin had said that before now, he'd been right about his reason. Cassie's pride theory, the one that he'd jumped on board with easily, was feeling so far away from the truth now that it was laughable.
"That can't possibly have been true." He breathed out, then considered the other implication of what Rob had said, "Wait, does that mean you've always ridden this stuff out alone?"
Robin shrugged again, "Other than the first time, yeah."
And that was the answer that he hadn't known he'd been looking for, something must've gone wrong the first time, "If you did it with someone the first time, then it can't be true that no one wants to touch you."
Robin shook his head though, "Just cause Batman did it, doesn't mean he actually wanted to, and trust me, it was obvious he didn't."
Superboy was well aware that he couldn't win a fight against Batman, but right at this moment he wanted to try anyway.
"I don't get it." He finally said, instead of the death threats that wanted to pour out of his mouth, settling for squeezing Robin tighter, "It's not even like this is bad or anything, why would he not want to?"
Robin sighed, "It's complicated, and it's not really his fault."
Kon begged to fucking differ, actually, "I don't understand." He said instead.
"It's, look, some people think Batman is my dad, but he's not. I have parents. It's not like-" he cut himself off, thinking for a minute before continuing, "Look I'm going to tell you something, and you need to not tell anyone else that I confirmed this theory to you."
"I won't." He agreed easily, curiosity at whatever Bat secret he was about to be told.
"There's been more than one Robin. I'm not the first." Rob said, which was information that both was and wasn't surprising.
Kon knew logically that Robin had existed for far longer than the Robin in his arms could have realistically been Robin without supernatural intervention, which the Bats were staunchly against. On the other hand though, he couldn't imagine any other Robin fighting by his side, so it still felt weird to know that there had been others.
"The Robin before me, he was Batman's kid, and he died." Kon felt the breath freeze in his throat, Jesus, that was awful, "Yeah," Robin said, probably feeling his reaction to the news, "Some people know about that, but don't go around telling anyone anyway. And if anyone finds out you know, then say that you figured it out cause you saw his display case in the Cave back when we were in Kid world."
Kon nodded, still feeling a bit numb at the news and the remembrance of the display case with a Robin suit in it and the plaque reading 'a good soldier'. He'd thought, at the time, that it was some creepy reminder to Robin to stay in line and do his duty, but this was honestly so much worse.
"Ok." He agreed through numb lips.
"Anyway, the first time I got dosed it was really early on in my time as Robin, so I reported it, cause that's what we're supposed to do when we get hit with anything." Robin continued to explain, "And he stayed with me, held me the whole night and didn't complain at all, but I could still tell he didn't want to. He was stiff and it was, like, painfully awkward the whole time, which could've been cause we just didn't know each other that well yet, but I could practically feel the sadness radiating off of him even though he tried to hide it. I wasn't the one he wanted in his arms, and there wasn't anything I could do to fix that. After that first time I decided not to bother him with it again, it would be cruel to do that to him a second time, and even if we know each other better now so it'd be a bit less awkward probably, I don't want him to touch me again when I'm not the one he wants to be touching."
That was.... So much to unpack. He was pretty sure that it was still Batman's fault at least a little bit somehow, but he wasn't sure how to articulate that. He wasn't really sure how to articulate any of his thoughts on that whole situation actually other than just, like, cursing, but he was pretty sure that wouldn't actually be any help to Robin, so he sidestepped the whole mess.
"Ok, so he's off the table, but that's still not everyone." He pointed out, not sure why he was so determined to prove Robin's reason wrong, "You said you have parents, right? What about them, I'm pretty sure even shitty parents like Cissie's mom still want to touch their kids when they need it."
Robin just shrugged again, "Um, well, my parents have never been there for it. They don't usually touch me like you have to touch someone for this to work anyway."
That didn't add up, "They've never been there? Where were they?"
"Different countries." Robin shrugged again, "They travel most of the year for work. It's how I get away with being Robin, I don't really have a lot of parental oversight."
Robin's startling amount of independence suddenly made sense. And Robin's voice saying 'nobody wants to touch me' kept echoing around his head along with the 'they don't really touch me how you have to touch someone for this' and the implications of those two statements together were sickening. Kon didn't have family or parents and he didn't really have a great grasp on what it meant to have those things either, but he was pretty sure that there was something really wrong with the picture that was being painted about Robin's family.
"What about Nightwing?" He asked, fighting to keep the desperation out of his voice, "I mean, he's kind of intimidating, but he seems nice, and he showed up for you at the 'parent conference' Red Tornado set up back when we started the group."
"Nightwing probably would do it, actually, he's a pretty physically affectionate guy." Robin said, "And I'd let him, but it's still not exactly like he wants to be touching me, it's more like he just really likes physical affection."
"Can't it be both?" Kon pointed out, hoping that for once in this list Robin's insecurity was getting the better of his rationale.
"I mean yeah, but then we run into the whole, Robin before me thing again. Like, does he actually care about me like that or am I just a pseudo replacement for the little brother he lost? I know he does care about me, it's just complicated and I try not to think about it too much." He explained, "Besides, it's been a moot point cause he's never been in town when I got dosed, he's like, literally not even on the planet right now actually."
Honestly, Kon was at the point where he'd take 'off world but still sort of cared' as a win.
"Bart would do it. He'd want to touch you." He finally said with confidence.
Robin let out a little chuckle, "Yeah, I know he would, but I barely knew him last time I got dosed, that's why I said before today it was true. Bart is kind of moot too though since he can't do it without inducing a coma and I'm not having him do that when this doesn't do any harm."
"Pretty sure the girls would do it too." Kon pointed out, "Why'd you ditch them anyway?"
"Secret can't hold a corporeal form long enough to do anything but hurt me," Robin started rattling off, "And Cassie and Cissie would want to ride it out with each other. I know they care, and that they'd do it, but they aren't comfortable with me like that. They wouldn't actually want to do it."
Kon was pretty sure that wasn't strictly true, but that was for Cassie and Cissie to tell him. Kon couldn't actually explain motivations other than his own with any authority and Robin knew that too, so he wasn't going to bother trying.
"Well, I can say with certainty that I want to be doing this." He said, pulling Robin impossibly closer.
"Yeah, that's become apparent." Robin agreed, sounding a bit mystified by it, "That's also why I said, 'until today'."
He was really glad Robin had just believed him, "Good, cause I really didn't want you to make me say it, that would've been weird for me."
There was a pause before Robin snickered, seeming to understand what he meant, "Mmmm, actually, I think I do need to hear it." He prodded, sounding very amused with himself.
"Oh, fuck off!" Kon laughed, loosening his grip just a bit, "I don't have to be here you know, I can just let you go and leave right now."
He was joking, he'd so completely and totally been joking he hadn't thought it was possible for Robin to take him seriously. He'd forgotten how, even if Robin wasn't actively suffering right now physically, he was still really wrung out and in a position where he was having to show weakness, and just all around not functioning with all cylinders right now, even just mentally. That much had been apparent with how much personal information he'd just shared which was possibly more than he'd shared in the entire time he'd known the other boy.
That being said, it shouldn't have been surprising when Robin's grip on him tightened for a second before he practically ripped himself away, curling up against the headboard just out of Kon's reach. He watched in horror as Robin started scratching at his forearms even as he wrapped them around his own knees. How his shoulders hitched as his breaths started coming in ragged gasps and he trembled. There were scars too, lining the skin of his arms and shoulders that was visible around his knees, and there were newer redder marks, some with dried blood where Robin had clearly been scratching himself.
"Y-you're right." Robin said, clenching his jaw, clearly frustrated at the way his voice shook, "You don't have to be here. You- you can go still, guilt free I swear. I- I'm sorry." He said, then tacked on a "For making it weird." Even though it had sounded like he was apologizing for more than that.
Kon was suitably horrified at this reaction and at having caused it. Jeez, Cassie had told him not to be a jackass and here he was being a complete and total jackass. He needed to fix this now.
"Rob, no, I'm sorry. I was just teasing I didn't really mean it." He tried, "I wasn't going to let go."
Robin just shook his head though, "No you're r-right, I- I made it w-weird. It's ok if you don't w-want to do this a-anymore."
It was then that he knew what he needed to say, and even though Robin hadn't needed to hear it before, it was clear that he needed to now.
"Robin, I still want to help you." He said, but that wasn't quite it, those weren't exactly the words he knew Robin needed to hear, even if the words were admittedly kind of weird and not ones he ever thought he'd be saying to a male friend, he was still happy to do it now, "Robin, I want to touch you."
He watched as Robin's eyes blew wide at that, so blue they were almost glowing in the sunlight filtering in through the window. Superboy reached out a hand, and Robin's shaky hand lifted to meet it. In a couple years time, he'd think back on this day, having always known it was a catalyst to how their relationship changed, and realize that it wasn't actually the cuddle pollen that forced the change. Realistically they probably could've continued on how they'd been before, even after spending a whole night wrapped up in each other. It wasn't the 12 straight hours of physical touch that changed things, that could easily be brushed off under the guise of pollen induced need. No, it was the words 'I want to touch you.' that actually changed things, not that either of them realized it until much much later, or even acknowledged them.
When Robin's fingertips met his own, it was just like the last time with Robin instantly flinging himself into his arms. And if Kon's TTK made him land just half a second sooner then no one could prove it. It was a forceful reunion, but Robin was tough and Superboy was ridiculously durable, so that was fine, good even. Maybe it was how it needed to happen actually, he mused as they wriggled around a bit again to get comfortable. When his hand found its place around Robin's ribs again, he knew they'd be fine.