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The Order of The Closed Fist by CanonFodder (Tartan_Temptation), Tartan_Temptation
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)
24 Jan 2026
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Summary
A loving homage to one of my favorite fics, Not A Mounted Dildo (But A Fuck Machine).
Excerpt:
Crowley was staring blankly at the kettle as it began to heat up when an idea came to him. What if - rather than sneak around each other and act like masturbation was secretive and taboo - they just did it out in the open, at the same time? They were both straight, so it wasn't like it would change anything between them, and Crowley was sure he'd heard stories of straight men getting together to watch porn and jerk off. Yeah, that was the perfect solution! Now all he had to do was get Aziraphale on board. He heard the shower cut off and poured himself a cup of coffee as he considered his pitch.
"Angel!" Crowley's greeting was full of cheer, his smile bright as he handed Aziraphale a perfectly crafted cup of tea.
Aziraphale narrowed his eyes in distrust, "...what do you want?"
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Friend to lovers
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