Chapter Text
Bilbo was incredibly relieved when he found Thorin Oakenshield in the lower level of the Elf King's dungeons. The elves kept Thorin separated from the rest--he was the lone prisoner in his wing. It broke Bilbo's heart to see him locked away and all by himself. The other dwarves at least had each other.
Able to move about undetected thanks to his ring, Bilbo he did what he could to bring comfort to the imprisoned members of the company, spending time with the dwarves and passing around messages so they would not despair while he explored and tried to devise a way out. Luckily, the majority of the company were in the same dungeon wing and not heavily guarded--the elves were pretty confident in their containment. The others had more guards than Thorin, though, who was alone without so much as a guard but for his meals.
Bilbo visited Thorin every evening. He could have said it was because Thorin was their leader and it was his duty to keep him sane. The deeper truth was a sweet secret Bilbo kept locked away from the rest of the company and the object of his affections.
Because Thorin was left alone overnight, Bilbo could shed his ring and sit next to his cell to keep him company. Without sharp-eared elf guards patrolling that wing, they could speak softly deep into the night. Bilbo would sit as close to the cell as he could get with his back leaned up against the wall. Thorin would sit next to him on the other side of the bars, back also against the wall. They would talk until Thorin fell asleep or until Bilbo knew it was time to hide to catch some rest. Bilbo was always careful to not fall asleep next to Thorin's cell.
Maybe it was the late hours they kept, or perhaps it was simply easier to open up to someone when not under the weight of their gaze--whichever it was, the conversations Bilbo and Thorin had on these quiet nights seemed special. The hushed tones they used with each other to avoid detection were reminiscent of the soft voices one would use with a lover. Bilbo and Thorin would speak of anything and everything, whatever they could think of to take their minds off the uncertainty of the situation. Bilbo did a majority of the talking at the beginning because it took Thorin a little longer to share details of his life. Thorin eventually opened up, though. While he had a dark past, it seemed to bring him some measure of joy to tell Bilbo of stories when Fili and Kili were small, or of him and Dwalin getting into rowdy lad trouble when they were younger would-be warriors in the days before the dragon.
One such night of swapping stories, Bilbo was telling Thorin a tale of a couple of tween hobbit boys getting caught in a compromising position following a grand party in Brandybuck Hall when Thorin interrupted him.
"Wait, so it was two males?"
"Well, it might have been as many as four but the other two didn't have as many clothes to gather! Who knows, though?" Bilbo chuckled to himself. It had been quite the scandal in Buckland at the time.
"So, is it unusual for hobbit males to be intimate with one another?"
"Well, it is not as common as male and female couples, but it happens often enough. What was more unusual is that they were, uh, thrill-seeking somewhere that they could get caught. Hobbits tend to be more private about such matters. Is it unusual for dwarf males to have such interactions?"
Bilbo was not willing to admit it quite yet, but he was dying to know Thorin's thoughts on the subject.
Thorin replied, "Dwarf males commonly find themselves in situations where they only have other males for company. Because of this, it is common they would develop a particular closeness or relationship."
"Relationship?" Bilbo interjected, probably a little too quickly. "So courting can happen with pairings like that?"
"Yes. Courting between comrades in arms is the most frequent because they have a strong emotional connection. There's no way for a male pairing to consummate with a blood bond, so the bond needs to be formed another way. Advisers, cooks, and the like would not carry the same sort of connection as two who have risked their lives for a cause--or each other."
Thorin blushed in the dark at this, remembering how Bilbo had rescued him with no concern for his own safety.
Bilbo's own head was spinning. This was a lot for both his heart and mind to take in. He figured he would start with the obvious.
"Wait, what do you mean a male pairing can't consummate their bond? I thought what you were originally implying is that they were intimate?"
"Dwarves have physical needs just like hobbits, Bilbo."
"So then why can they not consummate a union?"
"Unless hobbit anatomy is grossly unlike our own--which it is not from what I've seen when we've had chances to bathe--I would have to point out the obvious fact that you cannot put a sword inside a sword."
There was something about sitting in the dark with Bilbo talking about such things that made Thorin bold enough to flirt a bit. To be honest, he had been terribly curious for some time about how hobbits felt about same sex relations. Bilbo had intrigued him from the beginning. Thorin had been very hard on him because he truly thought he had been too pretty to be a valuable part of the expedition. Over the course of the journey, it was made clear many times over that Bilbo also had courage and cunning to match any dwarf. On the road, Thorin had resisted sharing any hints of his growing interest in Bilbo, it not being the time nor the place to stir up gossip or a relationship either one. Here, however--trapped in Thranduil's infernal dungeon with Bilbo night after night, veiled in forgiving darkness, sharing stories--well, his resolve was certainly weakening a bit. He found Bilbo a great comfort. Judging by the time that Bilbo spent sitting with him every evening, he figured (and hoped) that he did the same for Bilbo, too.
For his part, Bilbo was sure he was turning as crimson as a strawberry at Thorin's mention of his...anatomy. Was Thorin actually flirting with him? The thought of Thorin's gaze lingering on him during bath time in various streams and springs long enough to know what was what made him tingle, though whether it was with anticipation or embarrassment, he wasn't quite yet sure. The conversation had certainly taken an interesting turn from where it had started. Bilbo wanted to dig a little deeper--and maybe stir the pot a bit, as it were.
"What do you do, Thorin? Dwarves, I mean. When you have that sort of two-sword situation?"
"Um, yes. Well." Thorin's tongue suddenly felt three times fatter. "There is touching, of course. Rubbing. Kissing, both above and below. Things can be done with the hands and mouth to bring pleasure and alleviate tension. Is it not like that for hobbits or do you just enjoy hearing me talk this way?"
Bilbo's ears positively burned, but he pressed onward. "That is but a benefit to having my curiosities answered. So rubbing, kissing...but none of that counts as consummation? What about, " Bilbo swallowed hard "...rear penetration?"
"Pardon?"
"Confound it, Thorin, don't make me say it again!"
"It is a good thing for both of us that you are adorable when you are embarrassed because I need further explanation of this. You mean...you don't mean...you can't possibly..." Thorin trailed off. He'd never heard of such a thing being done.
Bilbo had never been so grateful for dark. He was pressed so far back against the wall that he might have grown into it. Still, he had started this, and Thorin had just called him adorable. His Tookish curiosity (and the swelling in his trousers) insisted he keep going.
"Your mouth is not the only expandable hole in your body. Of course, I haven't done the same anatomy search during bath time as you have, but I can assure you that I was not the only one digging toilet holes when we made camp. I would figure dwarves and hobbits have a common orifice on their lower half."
"But that was not made for penetration! It was made for, um, evacuating. What would you even do?"
Thorin was fascinated by this concept. Horrified, too, and a little turned on to be talking about something so personal with Bilbo.
"Well, one may start with a gentle lick to get it underway," said Bilbo.
"A LICK?"
"Shhhhh, Thorin! You are going to have the entire guard on us!"
Thorin glanced around furtively. "I apologize but...a lick? There? With what comes out of there?"
This wasn't quite going the way Bilbo envisioned it a minute ago.
Exasperated, he said, "Look, if you are going to be childish about this we can talk about something else. I'm pretty sure you promised me a story of how Kili gave Fili a haircut when they were small..."
"No. I truly want to know. It just sounds so strange...and unsanitary. Dwarves generally regard that area as unclean."
"Said the dwarf who walked around for two days covered in warg blood because we could not find a water source suitable for bathing."
"Point taken. Please, Bilbo, tell me more of this. I promise no more outbursts."
"Okay. Well, that area is not horribly unsanitary if it is properly cared for. If it has been, uh, used recently, there is not a lot left inside to cause trouble. If there is a concern, it can always be washed beforehand. I imagine once someone is committed to being someone's lover, putting one's mouth on the body is probably not as horrifying as it sounds once the blood starts running hot. So a tongue can be used around the, the, the, the area in question, possibly slipped inside for additional pleasure and lubrication."
"Lubrication?"
"Well, yes. If you are going to try to get something the size of your--ahem--dwarfhood inside an opening that small, there needs to be help."
"Fascinating. Doesn't it hurt? It seems like it would be terribly uncomfortable. Just sitting on this hard floor bothers my hind end."
...And I'm aroused and uncomfortable, Thorin added silently.
Bilbo was feeling less embarrassed as he went on. "Well, fingers can come next to help stretch. It is muscle back there, you know. It warms up with stretches like anything else if someone is patient enough to take the time. Oil or salve certainly do help things along. There's discomfort but there's also quite a payoff. I do not know if it is the same for dwarves, but hobbits have sort of a sweet spot inside that can elevate the pleasure of the situation. I'm sure the connection of penetrating one's lover in such an intimate area can also not possibly be overstated. If that is not consummation of a bond, I do not know what is."
It dawned on Thorin that with the act Bilbo was describing, male couples could imprint and bond the blood the way heterosexual dwarf couples could. It was a life-changing revelation. Thorin chose not to tell Bilbo quite yet that he was pondering what it would feel like if Bilbo was doing these things to him as he described them--or what it would mean if he did.
Wait.
How did Bilbo know all of this? Thorin's warm arousal was interrupted with the sting of cold jealousy.
Thorin tried to keep his voice steady. "How came you by this knowledge, Bilbo?"
"Young curiosity. We'd talk amongst ourselves, as you can imagine. Additionally, I keep quite a library and it isn't entirely chaste. There's also the self-exploration. I do live alone, you know. It keeps a body sane to know how to pleasure oneself thoroughly. I had some idle physical dalliances in my capricious youth but none quite that personal. There was no one who drew me so strongly that I wanted to share that particular intimacy with them."
Bilbo no longer felt a shred of shame talking about this with Thorin--only desire. What a difference five minutes could make!
Bilbo reached through the bars and found Thorin's hand. It was something so small but the gesture was everything to Thorin. Bilbo had done it before as a comfort, but this time felt different. Promising, Thorin imagined. He let out a breath and let himself relax for the first time in days. Although he was not completely inexperienced in the ways of pleasure, this revelation of Bilbo's opened a whole new world for him. If they ever got out of this Elvish heap, he was sure he wanted Bilbo to demonstrate everything he just spoke of on Thorin in the flesh. His possessive nature wanted him to be the first to claim Bilbo in this manner as well.
"I thank you for the very enlightening education, my dear Bilbo. I must say the whole of it was well beyond my knowledge. It certainly sounds intense and special--most definitely not something one would do without a strong desire for a connection with the other. I might not mind experiencing it for myself...with the right hobbit, of course."
"Don't you mean the right dwarf?"
"I did not misspeak." Thorin squeezed Bilbo's hand.
Bilbo's brain, heart, and crotch almost simultaneously burst into flames. His desire to get the dwarves out of the dungeon and out to safety was now stronger than ever. He remembered an idea he had earlier that day concerning the empty wine barrels in the hall...