Chapter Text
That night, Toji couldn’t fall asleep. The usual dim, calm moonlight was now feeling more like a blinding white lamp he couldn’t turn off. It shone through the thin fabric of the curtain, making him groan out of displeasure.
At this point, he had covered his face with the pillow, constantly moving around in hope to find comfort. He cursed at every small noise of the night, blaming the unusual brightness of the stars.
What he didn’t quite recognize yet was the actual cause for his inability to fall asleep. Deep down, he was scared. Scared of a feeling so unfamiliar and raw slowly forming in him by every passing minute. How he suddenly felt so doubtful toward himself, confused by the way his mind just wouldn’t stop racing and replaying events like a disc stuck in time.
And for that, he placed the blame on you.
In conclusion, he figured that this whole thing was setting back his progress in denying the natural ability of the humans (yes, including him) to get attached. So he chose to hate you—even though that’s not something he can just decide.
By the time the first golden hues of the sun reached his window was when Toji finally gave up trying to sleep. He sat up on his bed like he just woke up from a nightmare, brushing his hair back as he let out a long sigh.
The next minute, he was already dressed up, keeping himself busy with whatever he found regardless of the merciless sensation in his arm: making his bed so perfectly that it screamed something was off, taking a shower longer than a soon to be bride would take and even going as far as cleaning the whole apartment—even the places he had never used. He moved every piece of furniture, went through all the drawers and shelves, getting rid of all the dust and dirt.
By the middle of the afternoon, his place smelled like cheap cleaning products and disappointment that he still couldn’t get himself right. Disappointed that he let go of his control, his emotions slipping right out of his hands, obnoxiously so.
When he finally sat down on the couch, he let out a huge breath, muscles aching so nicely from the sudden relaxing—except for his arm that he’s been ignoring for some godforsaken reason.
Following all the odd productivity and physical demands of the day, his wound was screaming to be taken care of, the stinging pain being like an alarm he didn’t set. He dreaded acknowledging it so much that even the thought of doing something about it felt worse than the ache spreading, slowly reaching his shoulders.
But he knew this couldn’t go on forever. Even though he decided to just ignore it, it’s still there and deep down he knows damn well. The way it’s slowly becoming more and more unbearable made it harder to dismiss and by each passing second, he knew he was closer to having to act. And maybe— just maybe— it wasn’t entirely about the physical pain.
And after a good amount of time of mentally convincing himself, he finally decided to change the tired, blood-drenched wrapping around the injury. He slowly started peeling it off with deliberate force, hissing through his teeth as the air hit his arm.
But of course, he couldn’t get you out of his mind— a hot breath occasionally falling from your lips, reaching his skin in a way that made goosebumps bloom all across his body, the glint of concern in your eyes as you took care of him gently, not caring whether he had asked for it or not.
His brows furrowed at the thought, slowly cleaning the wound exactly like he had learned from you. But somehow, it didn’t feel the same. It was just cruel, numbing and empty.
When he was done, he leaned back against the couch, as if those last ten minutes had drained him more than all the cleaning— and whatever else he’d been doing— combined.
He unlocked his phone in hope of finding a forgotten task given out, but quickly had come to the realization that the only thing left for the day was the mandatory in-person mission report scheduled for the evening.
Toji rolled his eyes in annoyance, the last thing he needed being a long, unnecessary debrief with a man who loved telling everyone what they should’ve done differently while not moving a muscle all day. In his mind, he had already noted how exhausting it’s going to be and how much he doesn’t want to go.
Or at least he swears he doesn’t.
Because in reality, he knew you were going to be there and he hated how much he was looking forward to it.
── .✦
You woke up from your dream with the light breeze gently caressing your face, sneaking in through the window you’ve left open last night.
It was around the middle of the afternoon. 3 PM, maybe? You didn’t know. Your brain was still slow from the deep slumber, reminiscing the confusing events of your dream. Looking back, it didn’t make sense—just puzzled events that felt so realistic just a few minutes ago.
You cherished that five seconds of nothingness like it was a reward straight from heaven. That sweet, worry-free experience when your brain is quiet and just slowly turning on— it could never be imitated by anything.
Your hands lazily travelled up to your face, slowly rubbing your eyes. The blanket was still wrapped around you, clinging you to the bed. And somewhere between opening your eyes and yawning lazily, it hit you.
The events of last night struck you suddenly, your cheeks flushing in deep embarrassment and maybe an ounce of regret too, or at least you’d like to believe.
You remember the fight first, taking fast and unpredictable turns. Then comes that weird, even more unpredictable talk with him. Then you get flashes of the only solution you had managed to find to get your way to where you are now, that being through his place. Finally, that damn urge you had to help him and how his gaze softened when you did so.
Oh, and the bulge on his pants too. You completely forgot about that.
Somehow, the simple memory of that makes the already pinkish tint of your cheeks deepen, pretending it was disgust churning in your stomach.
You take an excessively deep breath, rubbing your temple in disbelief. His words replayed in your mind in a weirdly comforting way you’d never admit. Because apparently, he did understand you. Out of all the people, it had to be the man with sickening beliefs.
Yet you couldn’t help but wonder how his wound was. Did he change the wrapping carefully? Was it still bleeding?
── .✦
The clicking of your heels against the polished floor broke the silence. Under the bright lights, Toji was sitting face to face with the head of the company, waiting for your arrival before starting the meeting.
You sat down cross-legged next to him, gesturing a slight wave of your hands as a greeting. In return, he just gave a quick eyebrow raise as a hello, nothing else. His cologne hit you quickly, a clean, masculine smell.
“So we’re here to talk about yesterday, right?” you started, slightly unprofessionally, but you took no notice.
“That’s right. Please explain thoroughly.” your boss asked, gaze sweeping over to Toji.
You furrowed your eyebrows for a second when you realized that he wanted the answer from him instead of you, already expecting the conversation to be laced with the slightest bit of misogyny. However, you stayed quiet simply out of curiosity—you wanted to hear Toji’s point of view too.
He started explaining, kind of careless with his usual manspread, but not missing any crucial details—except for the walk back. He would never tell that to anyone. Serves him right.
When he was talking, telling your part as well like a bedtime story, he occasionally glanced at you from the corner of his eyes. You caught it every single time, fidgeting with the hem of your sleeves to keep yourself occupied.
But to your surprise, he did end up missing another extremely important detail. The reverse curse energy you had freshly explored in yourself. At first, you wanted to interrupt, because how could he forget?! You opened your mouth to speak, then quickly realized that he’s not dumb. He’s doing it on purpose.
You couldn’t quite understand why yet, but the confidence in his voice said that it’s better this way. So naturally, you went along with him, your expression quickly going back to neutral.
But in reality, the only person more confused than you was Toji himself. He didn’t even think twice when it came to protection, even though the worst possible consequences of him snitching on your new technique—whatever those may be—don’t concern him, and neither did you ask. He just had this feeling, and the urge to defend you came so naturally he even forgot about the pact he has just made with himself not a while ago. What was it again?
Oh right, he hated you.
And he convinced himself it’s going to be easy.
The boss listened carefully, observing both of you alternately. He took notes of Toji’s words, making sure not to miss out on any information. His face was calm and unreadable like usual.
When Toji finally finished, he looked up at him:
“Thank you for the enlightenment, you may leave now.”
And just with that, he was dismissed. He stood up from his chair slowly, his warning eyes meeting yours as you looked up to him. Something was wrong.
Why didn’t he let you go as well, after treating you like a useless side character for the past 20-something minutes?
You returned the look which he acknowledged before leaving the room. Now that it was just you with the boss, this whole situation felt way more creepy.
He made sure to watch Toji close the door before beginning:
“Is it true you can use reverse cursed techniques?” he asked without hesitating.
The seriousness in his voice made your blood run cold, zoning out for a few seconds. You had no idea how he got that information, but finally, Toji’s actions made sense entirely. He was surely keeping quiet about it on purpose.
Looking back on it, it was really odd how you didn’t get scolded and demoted. You walked into that room, wholly prepared to answer demanding questions, only for him to just ignore you completely when Toji was there. Rich men talking about “respect”, huh…
You swallowed hard before answering, honesty being your only remaining option.
“Yes, but I’ve just found out now,” you explained. “I didn’t know about it before, thats why it wasn’t in the contr—“
“Thank you so much for your service,” your monologue was cut off suddenly by his unexpectedly thrilled voice among with a slight bow of his head, no sign of the previous seriousness anymore. “You’re truly an honor to us.”
Eyes widening, you could only hope that your jaw didn’t drop, literally. Your voice got stuck in your throat in shock and you had to do your absolute best to not laugh at his humility.
The thought of the usually composed “big boss” being so excited that he actually cut you off was fucking hilarious. You could only imagine how his face lit up when he heard about the news.
But wait. How did he know?
You didn’t talk to anyone in the past 24 hours besides Toji, who clearly had the intention of hiding it—but then how the fuck did he know?!
“Oh, don’t look at me like that, I’m actually really grateful,” he continued. “Such a strong woman working with us, perfect.”
You—still speechless— could only turn your head slightly to the side as an answer.
“So if you can keep this between us…” he paused for a second, tone calmer now, “we can double the amount of money you’ll be getting by the time the contract expires.”
Your jaw had surely dropped now. He quite literally winked at you. A grown ass man, in a suit probably more expensive than the entire building just fucking winked.
His smile was almost unsettling, suspicious in a way that made the fine hairs at your back stand up. You had barely processed his words, growing more and more skeptical by every passing second. Something about all this was just so, entirely wrong.
Toji was mentally three steps in front of you for noticing it way sooner, and for a second, you wished you could thank him.
You stayed in silence for a few seconds that felt like years with the words stuck in your throat.
“Okay…?” That’s all what came out, quieter than intended. You watched his face light up as he laid back in his seat comfortably.
He cleared his throat, forcing his smile to halt before dismissing you as well with another set of suspiciously grateful words.
You decided not to overthink anything yet and headed straight to the cafeteria. It was more crowded than usual, but it didn’t bother you. You looked around, noticing the wide variety of food and all the people standing around it like it was a sacred gift. Everyone was chatting and eating like usual, delicious scents filling the warm air.
This place really was identical to a hotel— huge restaurant with foods you had no chance to recognize, names of fancy foreign drinks written in cursive being barely legible and waiters running around with towers of plates in their hands with so much balance they could’ve gone to the circus without trouble.
You recognized most of the faces, everyone who worked there from businessmen to the secretaries. All these different kinds of people, a few nice and more twisted, yet something was the same when you looked at every single table. One, tiny but so important detail— nobody was alone. People were all chatting and laughing, some even sharing their meals like they were family.
And something about this whole sight was heavy and suffocating your chest. You overheard these people asking each other about casual things so lightly, such simple things like how they were doing. It inevitably made you long for a community that you couldn’t manage to find here.
The passing days felt like eternity without someone to share them with, every single one ending the same way: alone.
Your eyes wandered too long automatically, analyzing the scenario painted in front of you, almost like you were searching for something. An answer, perhaps? You didn’t think much of it. Instead, you just continued walking slowly with your heels clattering on the polished floor, gaze still restlessly roving over the familiar strangers. Then, your body stalled.
The sight of Toji lazily sitting in a chair with his characteristic confidence made your stomach drop in a way you couldn’t quite interpret. He was still in that same black sweater like at the meeting, not a single ounce of classiness or professionalism in his choice of clothing. He was alone at a quiet, small table, just eating his food in peace.
You still wondered about his wound under that sweater. Because of the rushed and twisted meeting, you had no opportunity to ask. So it’s either now or never, you figured. Not to mention that weirdly protective, almost caring act of not ratting you out to the boss.
You needed to address that.
And for the first time, walking up to him wasn’t dreadful. He somehow seemed less intimidating, not like someone who would dismissively wave someone off when they weren’t going to say exactly what he wanted to hear, cursing them out for offering an opinion without being asked. He was just sitting there, minding his own business without being a threat to anyone, that practiced, condescending look nowhere to be found on his face.
He didn’t notice you at first, only looking up when you called out his name softly, tone laced with the slightest bit of hesitation. Just a moment later, he was already straightening himself in his seat, gaze hiding something softer when he finally glanced up at you from his plate, now standing next to him.
In response, he just hummed before swallowing the last bite of his food. You couldn’t help but notice the glint of sincerity on his face and how his body eased when he recognized the owner of voice addressing him.
“I just wanted to ask about your injury,” you broke the silence kind of awkwardly, index-finger strictly pointing at the exact place on his arm like it was muscle memory. “Did you take care of it?”
He raised it slightly before answering, brows raised in boyish pride. “Oh yeah, it’s fine,”
His eyes travelled up to you before he added, tone playful; “Learned from the best.”
Your mouth displayed a light smile as you shrugged humbly. “I’m glad.”
There was a short moment of silence, laced with something almost intimate before you decided to just search for a place to sit and eat dinner alone. Something about his tone made you forget about your doubts and questions.
But Toji clearly noticed your intention of leaving by your eyes searching for a spot and something in his gut twisted at the thought of you leaving so soon and casually. Suddenly, he’s hyper-aware of everything— your closeness, the dim light of the restaurant reflecting on your hair and that soft, almost warm look in your eyes. So instantly, his smirk didn’t feel the same anymore— it was no longer confident and proud, rather shy.
He hated the way he noticed every single meaningless, unnecessary detail.
And before he could think twice, the words had already slipped out as if he was pleading. “You can stay,”
His voice came out quieter and higher-pitched than he intended, slightly embarrassed of his own pitifulness.
Totally cool. Definitely not desperate.
He immediately glanced down and broke eye contact like he didn’t say anything. But before he could even progress his own words, you were already sitting down in front of him.
That moment of vulnerability in his eyes you were lucky to catch was what caught you off guard, at least as much as it did to him. His rare sincerity that made you fluster so easily was now totally breaking his anticipated careless act and somehow, it made him look more human. And maybe that’s what made you stay and pull out the chair facing him without a second thought.
Maybe with him, eating won’t be so lonely like before.
You remembered that you were planning to ask him about a few things from earlier anyway, so it’s convenient— you told yourself. Plus, you’d never admit it out loud but since yesterday, you had found yourself actually enjoying his company.
── .✦
That sip of water almost made you choke as you chuckled once again, food on your plate long forgotten and cold.
“What— what did you say again?” The words came out ragged as you gasped for air and wiped a tear forming at the corner of your eyes.
“I said,” He looked extremely serious, or at least he was trying his best to— the twitch on the corner of his mouth and the frown of his eyebrows were what gave away that he was barely holding it together. “He looks like that one shark.”
That was it, you broke down in laughter, forcing you to bend forward as your stomach cramped. You couldn’t help but imagine that narcissistic piece of shit, your so called “boss” as a shark happily swimming around in the ocean, carefree as ever and definitely less of a pain in the ass than he already was.
You’ve long forgotten about what he did in the meeting.
“What?” You wheezed, eyebrows raised in disbelief, gobsmacked from his sense of humor.
“Fuck— you know that movie,” he paused for a second, deep in thought, probably trying to recall the title of whatever he was referencing. He rubbed his temple, eyes half lidded and you swore you could hear the gears turn painfully slowly from thinking so hard. “You know, with all the fish.” He added, gesturing with his hands.
You purposefully rolled your eyes, chuckling lightly and trying to finally catch your breath. “You should’ve seen his face when I was alone with him,” you exclaimed. “He was desperate, you’re missing out.”
“Sure I am,” Toji ran a hand through his hair in faked annoyance as he let out a small sound of displeasure. “No fucking way he winked at you, I just can’t believe it.” He added, still completely bewildered from your little story-time from earlier.
Not like he couldn’t imagine him doing something so creepy like this, but still— he’s a company head who’s also legit balling.
And while the two of you kept talking, Toji felt a sense of ease he had never before. A shared moment more intimate than any type of interaction he had experienced. For now, he wasn’t scared either, just a little stunned and maybe even moved.
But it wasn’t because of the joking or the overwhelmingly nice dinner, just that simple, genuine laughter you’d provided him with in the past— what, minutes, hours? Time didn’t matter when everything was going so naturally with no hidden motives or lies. Suddenly, he questioned his own words, his desire to hate as defense, just because how could he?
How could he hate you when somethings as simple as a dinner felt like this in your presence? When you made him forget about keeping his guard up and made him actually enjoy something without a deeply rooted fear pressing at his chest so cruelly? And the best part was how he didn’t have to pretend anymore. He didn’t feel judged or misunderstood and only seen as a brutal murder weapon like he’s pictured himself all his life. And reasonably so— that’s all anyone had ever seen in him.
But not you.
It was never you.
So just with that, his shoulders lifted with a breath that turned into laughter, syncing with yours so nicely that the air suddenly felt lighter. He was so calm in the moment, no defense mechanism actively protecting him from forming a connection he was deeply scared of. And you noticed it from the start, of course you did. The way conversation flowed naturally, without heavy, awkward silences between you and most importantly; no backhanded words.
It was the first time the two of you shared such a simple yet so fragile moment, and something in you hoped it wasn’t the last either.
── .✦
“You know about that event in a few weeks, right?” He asked hesitantly.
You tilted your head. “The party in honor to the anniversary of the company?”
“Yeah… maybe you should come with me,” his voice was quieter now, something in the air shifting as the sounds of the environment faded into the background. “You know— just in case someone wants to fuck with you.”
“With me?” you scoffed. “Who would dare to?” you added with humor to mask your surprise.
He shifted in his seat, clearing his throat. “Shit,” he laughed awkwardly, eyes fixated on his now empty plate. “I’m just saying—“
Your words cut him off. “I’ll go with you.”
He blinked shyly, hands fidgeting with his fork, exhaling louder than he intended. He knew damn well you didn’t need protection, hell, you were even stronger than him. It just came out so abruptly, leaving him no time to think his words through, and he would’ve surely cursed himself to death if you rejected him. But that’s not what happened and the tension from his shoulders eased from relief.
The safety he offered as an excuse was obviously not what made you automatically say yes. It was that boyish embarrassment written all over his face, jaw tense and brows furrowed ever so slightly— and you knew it was all real. If he asked with that annoying smirk that you still couldn’t decide you loved or hated, without a single crack in his composure, you for sure would’ve had second thoughts.
A light smile crawled to his lips slowly from hearing your tone laced with confidence in him. Maybe he didn’t humiliate himself totally.
Maybe letting his guard down wasn’t so bad in your presence.
── .✦
You watched more and more people get into the elevator, forcing you to back up, back almost brushing Toji’s chest. The air was heavy from the many people filling the small space, probably more than it was designed for. They were mostly men, some on their phones, some talking to each other about some work-related stuff you couldn’t help but overhear.
Toji behind you was quiet, leaning against the corner with ease. The familiar, masculine smell of his cologne hit your nose quickly from the proximity, standing out from everyone else’s in a way that subconsciously made your breaths deeper and longer. Your skirt brushed his pants with every light jolt of the elevator from ascending, making the fine hairs on your back stand up from the friction.
You watched the elevator stop once again in horror, not even halfway to your floor after countless times of it giving up and breaking down. The machine was already overworked from running all day, especially during rush hour when everyone was constantly pushing the buttons and getting in and out.
Two men left, but it didn’t help the already awkward crowd thin since four other had just entered, pressing everybody against each other. It didn’t seem to bother anyone, shoulders bumping against each other like they were used to it without any threatening glances exchanged.
You— on the other hand— had to completely retreat and have your entire back pressed against the man standing behind you, cheeks blushing from the forced closure. You already knew the smirk he must’ve had on his face, doesn’t matter if you didn’t see it directly. He didn’t move or apologize, almost like he knew this was going to happen.
Heat basically radiated off his body, touching yours so intimately— and maybe it wasn’t even that bad. You tried to act uncomfortable with every small movement of the place making you almost fall back onto his chest, yet you failed horribly. You had just realized the insane size difference, his huge body towering behind you, your only hope to keep yourself steady. But it was either your sweaty colleagues or him, and fuck— the answer was obvious.
Suddenly, the elevator had started descending, like it was the universe buying you time to enjoy the strangely nice closure.
Toji was grinning victoriously with your body pressed against his, every small bump of your ass against him making more blood rush to his already hardening cock. He really had to control his hands in order not to pull you closer, desiring to feel more. Your heart was beating faster than usual and he managed to catch that tiny, yet important detail.
The elevator stopped once again with a sudden lurch, causing everyone to stumble, including Toji. He bent forward slightly, hips brushing you just a second longer before steadying himself.
“Sorry,” he leaned down, whispering unapologetically, acting like it wasn’t entirely on purpose.
You pressed your eyes shut and your body stiffened as you felt a sudden wave of warmth forming in your stomach from the hard bulge brushing your ass. In hope that he couldn’t see it, you bit your lower lip hardly to hide the smirk ready to split your features.
There was no point in denial, the closeness felt amazing, almost even arousing. No, surely arousing.
With his hot breaths against your neck and fingers now lightly brushing your lower back, your heart began to race in your chest. He couldn’t hold himself back, he wanted— needed to lay his hands on you, even if only lightly, for now.
And you weren’t any different either with your back now firmly pressed against his and the way you shifted on your feet purposefully to tease him.
You didn’t know yet, but you weren’t just teasing him. You were making him go crazy, watching every little deliberate movement of your body against his. He knew what you were doing and he didn’t mean to stop you anytime soon.
By the time the elevator had started ascending again, fresh air filling the room as more and more people left at every floor, you had not moved an inch from him. From his heavy breaths and cock twitching ever so slightly, you knew he was desperate and you enjoyed it a little more than you should’ve.
And not like there was a way back. He always got what he wanted, especially from women and you were sure as hell he would keep it up even if that meant ruining your composure and pride with it. But for some godforsaken reason, he didn’t seem like he had the intention to. He let his guard down around you, not once but twice, even though you’ve never asked him to. It just seemed natural and right, something you would’ve never dared to imagine.
Suddenly, his presence wasn’t threatening or predatory, just honest. He wasn’t the Zenin who had no mercy for anyone standing in his way, just Toji who showed such a vulnerable side of himself that it made you truly astonished.
And maybe—just maybe— that’s what made you lean into his touch so naturally, letting him get what he wanted, purely because you wanted it too.
── .✦
The door of your apartment slammed shut with a loud thud, echoing in the hallway as Toji steadied himself with a hand behind you. Between you, the heat was practically pooling from all the unresolved sexual tension none of you could ever deny. But before you could think further, his mouth was already on yours, lips crashing with deliberate force. He wasn’t gentle or soft, just fast and incredibly desperate.
You quickly got used to the pace, fingers finding the back of his neck and deepening the kiss. His hands travelled to your waist, forcing your hips to meet with his painful erection urgently. A small, muffled sound escaped from you because of the sudden movement and he responded with a cocky smile against your mouth.
You’ve been through this hot mess before, brain fogged and unable to think straight from the perfectly overwhelming sensation he had caused you to feel, sending a jolt to your core every time he bit your lower lips gently. His tongue overpowered yours almost instantly, forcing you to submit your body to him entirely.
You couldn’t pretend you didn’t miss the feeling, at least a tiny bit.
You let one of your hands fall down lazily, grabbing onto his shirt instinctively to pull him even closer before you let them slide down, fingertips exploring every inch of his abdomen and then finally reaching that thick bulge on his sweatpants. You couldn’t help it. You let yourself feel up his length and with light pressure, your hands started moving against the slightly damp fabric covering him.
You felt his body tense and stiffen under your touch, the grip on your waist only getting stronger and more greedy with every small movement of your palm. And just with that, he pulled back for a second and broke kiss, leaving both of you panting heavily. With his breath ragged, voice coming out raspy and raw when he muttered a curse you didn’t bother to catch, you could tell he was at least as starved as you and somehow it made the whole experience even more thrilling than it already was.
Your pupils were blown out wide, a crooked smirk resulted in the mix of eagerness and fluster painting your face as you tried to catch your breath. He groaned lowly before pressing his mouth against yours again, tongue instantly finding its way back without asking for an invitation. And he didn’t even need one with your body burning for more and thighs pressed together ever so slightly— all the details he caught right away effortlessly, almost like it was practiced.
He felt his cock getting harder and harder against your fingers, threatening with soft throbs. A wave of warmth rushed to your cheeks at the sensation, only making your grip tighten against his dark hair. And it was all it took to him, he lifted you up without struggling, placing your legs around his waist as you held onto his neck for stability. The sudden change of environment made you let out a gasp when you felt the soft surface of your mattress against your back while Toji left you no time to adjust. He was already on top of you, body caging yours and mouth cupping the sensitive skin on your neck.
Your hands skimmed down his back, nails digging into it occasionally when he hit an overly sensitive spot, the heat in your stomach growing after every overwhelming suction of his lips. At this point, your breaths were nothing but hungry whimpers with your forehead buried against his collarbone. His hands were holding you in place, one against your jaw, tilting your head every now and then when he needed it to and under no circumstances letting you do any work, positioning you to favor him and holding you down firmly.
And when he finally got bored of your neck— now covered in red marks— he moved down to your collarbone. He reached that huge, crooked scar on your sensitive skin, making sure to leave a trail of kisses all over the surface.
“This is my work,” he whispered between kisses, sending an electric wave to your nerves as his voice vibrated against your body in addition to the hot, loud breaths caressing your skin.
In response, you could only hum with your nails digging into his back, pussy already clenching over just a few kisses. This is how crazy he was making you go.
His eyes glanced up to yours and you were met with a stare only a man in need could have. And if it wasn’t for the delicious emptiness in your head, you would’ve at least teased him for it a little bit— being so pathetic and needy, practically worshipping your body with every deliberate hold and soaking through his underwear from something so simple as your touch.
And without further notice, his fingers were already tugging at the waistband of your skirt impatiently. It stayed like that while he shifted, reaching your lower stomach with his trail of kisses. He spread your legs so that his broad shoulders could fit between them, the stretching sensation being close to nothing next to the euphoric bliss. You looked down to him with half-lidded eyes, hair already messy and your breath ragged. A mix of embarrassment and arousal was displayed in your gaze as you realized that you were probably already wet from his closeness.
Toji seemed to notice your mixed feelings because the side of his scarred lip turned upward slightly, hiding something that felt like reassurance behind the smirk. And with one simple movement, he pulled your skirt down, leaving only your nice panties covering the area. He didn’t hesitate, just quickly started kissing your inner thighs with urgency, your muscles tensing under the hand that held you.
You subconsciously buckled your hips up, body aching— needing more. With your fingers slowly caressing his hair and his lips still cupping an overly sensitive spot, he breathed loudly against your skin, goosebumps spreading through your body from the teasing. A plead escaped you, barely above a whisper from the overpowering need and that’s all it took for him— with a simple movement, he pulled your panties to the side, not bothering to remove it.
He couldn’t hold back much longer with the insane, alluring temptation right in front of him, hips desperately grinding against the bed. His mouth found your swollen clit in an instant, placing small kisses around it purposefully. Your breaths had become loud and begging by this point, hand trying to pull him closer.
His arms wrapped around your thighs, keeping you steady as he dived in, sucking the sensitive bundle of nerves between his lips. Your back arched instinctively, sucking the air in through your teeth from the sudden bliss that was making you dizzy in arousal.
The wave of euphoria was mutual with his fully hard cock throbbing in his slacks, begging to be taken care of. He groaned against your pussy, devouring it with the circles of his tongue lapping over your clit.
Your walls clenched from every movement, the perfect pressure he’s using making your vision explode white. You whimpered every now and then when he hits that sensitive spot with his tongue, muscles tensing and legs fighting in his strong grip. Toji instantly understood your body’s needs and while not stopping for a second, he slid two thick fingers in you.
You gasped when a sudden wave of warmth washed over your body from his fingers stretching so nicely. It goes in without resistance from the excessive wetness, making a boyish smirk appear on his face against your skin. He didn’t waste any time, he immediately curled them slightly, tightening the coil in your stomach. His digits found your sweet spot in an instant and you moaned at the overwhelming sensation of his tongue still working, mouth sucking your clit occasionally and his fingers pumping inside of you, every curl hitting you just perfectly.
“Fuck, you’re so good.” he cooed, then buried his face deeper when he started suspecting that you were close from the frequent clenching around him. His pace sped up quickly, resulting louder moans from you. Your muscles tensed and you cursed lowly when he found the perfect rhythm and pressure and you could feel your climax inching dangerously close. You were practically squirming from everything hitting you at once, and in an instant, your breath caught in the back of your throat.
The orgasm hit you quickly, vision exploding white and your body going numb for a few seconds. Toji continued to work his way through your climax, catching every filthy drop of your cum with his tongue like it was a reward. And to him, it might’ve actually been one. He drowned himself in the way your thighs pressed against the sides of his head with crushing force as the moans escaping you intensified his satisfaction. It felt like he couldn’t stop, determined to make you finish all over his mouth again.
“C’mon, give me another one.” he demanded lowly against your skin. His words made warmth rush to your head once again. You still haven’t caught your breath from your previous high, your already swollen clit sensitive against his fast tongue. Cherry on top, he still hasn’t slowed down or gave you a break, overstimulating your nerves so amazingly it made your eyes roll back.
Your second orgasm came quicker but stronger, body trembling under him as you screamed in pleasure. He glanced up, his jaw and mouth glossy from your juices, hair damp, sticking to his forehead and eyes filled with lust as he watched your mouth gaping and eyes pressed shut from the high. He licked his lips instinctively, tasting the sweetness coating it thinly.
Your hands flew to your head, brushing your hair back while steadying your breath. The sensation followed by him pulling out his fingers left you empty, pussy still burning in arousal.
You watched him straighten and struggle taking off his shirt eagerly. He tossed it to the side, taut muscles flexing with every small movement. Your eyes skimmed over his scarred body, familiar yet so different from when you’ve seen him before. Your heart began racing again, chest rising and falling rapidly at the sight of his erection pressing against his sweatpants.
You sat up quickly, fingers finding the hem of his pants, rushing to remove it along with his boxers. He stepped out of it under a second and your eyes were met with his fully hardened cock, tip coated in precum. A drool formed at the side of your mouth and you looked up at him with your face flushed lustfully.
“Should I—“ you tried to ask, wondering whether he wanted you to return the pleasure.
“Nah,” his sudden words cut off yours.
Truthfully, he hasn’t ever declined it before. Never in his life. And now, there was he with his cock throbbing at the simple sight of you being so messed up and out of it purely because of him.
The thin line formed by your lips pressed together slightly as your eyes trailed over him, pupils still blown out, asking for more and your hair falling to your shoulders so beautifully.
Somehow, that was better than any blowjob he could imagine. He didn’t want you to feel like you owed him that, because you truly didn’t— he doesn’t just eat out people and expects reciprocation— he could’ve just asked if he wanted to.
You raised onto your knees, pulling him down for a kiss. The pleased groan that escaped him was muffled by your lips pressed against his strongly. You licked his lower lip before entering his mouth hungrily, almost like you were fighting to have him all over you. His hands found your throat once again, applying slight pressure over the area which made you moan into his mouth.
And just with that, your back collided with the mattress again and you gasped at both the sensation and the disappointing feeling of the interrupted kiss. The place he gripped so firmly yet somehow gently was now burning from his intoxicating touch. He removed your panties in an instant, seeing your already overstimulated pussy throb at the sight of his cock.
He aligned himself to your entrance and his tip rubbing against your slit forced a shaky breath out of him from the pleasure. His forearm was steadying him beside you with veins popping on it and you once again were hit by the arousing scent of him. Your fingertips quickly found his bicep and you locked eyes with him for a second.
You were met with an expression burning from the thrill, eyes glassy and dark with desire and desperation. It was obvious that he’s been needing to see, to feel you so fucked up under him and the bliss that came with it made him go batshit crazy.
Honestly, he’s been fantasizing for a while— what sounds you would make from his touch, how easily could he make you wet and especially about how well you’d take him. It has been haunting him, mind circling back to you every time he jerked off despite the efforts of just thinking about one of the past hundred experiences he’s had before. It physically hurt him how you could deny him— after all, he always got what he wanted without begging.
And now, something about this whole situation felt entirely new to him. He’s been with many, truthfully, but no one like you. You were perfect in so many ways beyond him, almost divine. Every sound falling from your lips and every touch of your hands desiring to feel more made his eyes low in ecstasy. The long awaited, yet still so fragile moment was here and he knew he had to do his best.
You, on the other hand were still somewhat hesitant, but the arousal washed it away. You would’ve liked to believe it’s meaningless and with no strings attached, probably even routine to him, but his gaze was telling something else. And that made you face the painful truth: you felt attached. In a way no one could understand, including you.
In your eyes, Toji was mysterious yet so broken it made you doubt yourself every time you dared to judge him, doesn’t matter if it was something positive or negative. He was unpredictable and every encounter you had with him left you unsettled in new ways. The only way was to trust your gut, struggling to decide whether that hidden softness in his sharp eyes was real or not.
And you decided for the former.
So with a deliberate movement, he slipped inside you as deep as it was possible. A shaky gasp left both of you from the intense pleasure. You threw your head back from the sudden stretching— god, he was perfect. Filling you up so amazingly with his tip hitting your g-spot like he was made for you. And fuck, the way he tried to hide the whimpers falling from his mouth, breaths hot and caressing your neck already made the coil in your stomach return.
Your legs started to shake from the pleasant sting when he started thrusting. A suppressed moan fell from your lips, voice vibrating against his skin. Your nails dug into his back deeply enough it was probably hurting him.
“Fuck—“ he groaned. “You can take it, I know you can.”
Your insides clenched at his words and you bit your lower lip so hard you drew blood. His mouth once again collided with yours, tongue running across your lower lip, the metallic mixed with your sweet taste making him want to devour you.
He started slow but deep and tried to keep himself together, his twitching cock hugged by your tight walls pushing him closer to the edge already. But he knew he couldn’t cum just yet. So with all his strength— while snapping his eyes open and tightening his grip around your throat— he dragged himself back to reality with all the remaining sanity left in him.
His hips slammed against you with every deep thrust, knocking the breath out of your lungs. Your body squirmed under him, hands roaming over his back and pulling him closer. The room was filled with the filthy sounds escaping your mouth in pure bliss, making your orgasm approach closer every time his tip hit your cervix deliciously. His hand roamed up to your lips, parting them slightly before leaning in for a kiss. He wasn’t gentle with it, all teeth and tongue swallowing your moans while he fastened his pace.
He was fucking you stupid, shutting your brain off as he buried himself wholly and so perfectly in you. And with a curse falling from his lips that sounded more like a whimper, he came undone inside of you, body twitching and mouth gaping—he just couldn’t hold himself back physically (nor mentally).
His grip tightened on your jaw with every wave of his ecstatic orgasm hitting him, the warmth filling up your body quickly bringing you over the edge again. Your walls clenched around him, legs locked and shaking behind his back in attempt to pull him closer. Your body went numb, whining out his name as you threw your head back. Your high was way stronger than before and your senses stopped working completely for a second.
He continued fucking you through the orgasm, his cum still leaking and painting your insides white. His pace was slowing down continuously and before he lost control over his body finally, he placed a long kiss on your neck gently.
── .✦
Toji collapsed next to you on the bed, his chest rising and falling rapidly with your shoulders still brushing against each other. His hands ran through his damp, disheveled hair as he tried to steady his breaths. The sheets were crumpled, clothes lying on the floor messily and abandoned while the moonlight shone through the window peacefully.
He rolled to his side slowly, eyes fixated on you, trying to make something out of your expressions. You were panting, eyes shut and mind blank from exhaustion. The light highlighted your scar beautifully visible behind the strands of hair falling on it effortlessly. Your makeup was long smudged, lips swollen and flushed red from all the kissing. The simple sight was artistic and so divine in his eyes with your closeness being so intimate without meaningless words, it left a light smile displayed on his face subconsciously.
He could only hope you didn’t notice him looking at you like a creep in love and something in his brain twisted at the realization of how pathetic he was. He genuinely had to resist the urge to blurt out some compliment like “you did so good” or “let’s repeat this”— and that’s when he fully came down from his high. He has never thought about complimenting a woman before.
During sex, of course, but never after.
Obviously, he never denied the fact that someone looks good. He acknowledges it, then moves on with his day, but never gives the sweet validation to anyone.
Usually, he would just grab his clothes and leave without a word, making the woman feel used and gross without even knowing it just because he refused to spend the night or show at least the minimal amount of affection. Without guilt.
Yet somehow, his stomach flipped at the thought of staying with you. He’s too close—dangerously close to caring. And maybe he had already crossed that line; tonight, yesterday, a week ago, it didn’t matter. But it made him alarmed and want to retreat to his old ways that never disappointed him, without thinking of the consequences. So he did just that.
Without any further thoughts, he excused himself to the bathroom urgently, picking his clothes up while he made his way there. You, on the other hand, were clueless, still in that delicious high of your previous orgasms, brain quiet and waves of tiredness crashing over you. For some sick and twisted reason, not even the slightest bit of doubt crossed your mind. You just expected Toji to stay, even if that didn’t mean anything.
But it did. By this point, he was leaning on the sink, quickly trying to pull himself together before leaving. He knew it wasn’t right, yet somehow felt safer than anything else he could’ve done. It was better than sleeping next to you for tonight, making you— or even himself believe that you weren’t just a quick fuck.
He refused to acknowledge that pressing feeling in his chest along with his racing heart simply because it was too identical to guilt. An unfamiliar feeling that felt so damn horrible tearing him apart mentally. Why couldn’t he stay? Especially when your presence felt like heaven, so close yet still so distant for some reason.
Why couldn’t he be weak for once?
You didn’t know how much time had passed before you fell asleep with Toji still in the bathroom. Not like you waited for him— you fell asleep much sooner, completely convinced he’ll be back, just like he said. And the words, with his voice cracked and quiet felt like a promise. You didn’t question it. It was so true and natural, getting your mind at ease.
── .✦
You were so deep in your slumber you didn’t even notice when the door of your apartment slammed shut with a thud louder than intended, like a warning for something that has been already done; impactful and irreversible.
That was all he left behind.