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He kept clutching his left hand, the wrapping still there even though it wasn't really needed. It was a horrible habit, something hard to break. He should at least have been trying to, at least out of some form of restraint more than anything, but it was harmless wasn't it? It was harmless to clasp his hands together and think about the absence of what lay under blue leather, what had been there for the past fifteen years and what he thought would be there for a lot longer.
It was still unsettling to think about the ease at which it had been pulled from him, still strange that he could no longer feel the call of The Void. It was like a tether had been cut, one he wouldn't have noticed before he'd been Marked. It was strange to think of it like that - like an absence of something rather than something extra. He'd had that connection for so long that before Delilah had stepped into the throne room he hadn't been able to imagine going back to a life without it. Even stranger, it was odd to consider why The Void still had him in its clutches.
"I do still wonder why he gave you to me," Corvo murmured, turning the contraption over to look closer at the metal and gears. When it - she - had first graced his hands, he'd been too angry to think about its construction, bitter and still grieving. He'd held her close and had tried to keep her out of harm's way, atonement for not being able to before. He knew he should probably let her go, but even with her spirit at peace, Corvo would always carry her death with him, carry her with him. This was one scar that wouldn't quite heal. The Heart - he couldn't quite call it Jessamine, not when it was different from the woman he loved - was a small comfort, if just to hear her voice again. He still talked to it as if it were her, and she did grace him with answers, and he did sometimes hear her wit in them.
The Outsider had given him The Heart the first time around as a guide to find runes and shrines that would aid him. Now, without the Mark, he didn't need it, need her, but he was glad for the company. She should rest, but Corvo was selfishly happy he wasn't alone for this journey.
"The waters between god and mortal are murky. Many things could become clear in time, if you only ask."
"Is that your way of telling me I should talk to him?" Corvo snickered, but not at her. "Or that I'm being dense again?"
The Outsider was being weird. Weirder than usual. He didn't like talking to him like this, as much as he missed the company. It was rude and harsh and so unlike his friend at all, something churning in his stomach at the mere thought of it.
"He is hurting, as are you, and I loathe to see you this way."
"He's hurting," Corvo murmured. "Sure."
"Speak now, before your regret takes hold."
"And why should I?"
"I know all your secrets, my love."
Corvo, despite the heat rising to his face and burning across his chest, felt like he'd been plunged into ice-cold water.
"I-" He held her close to his chest, as if she would he able to feel him that way. "I'm sorry."
And he was. He truly was. She shouldn't have had to know that, shouldn't have to endure that when all she wanted was to reach out and hold his hand.
"My time with you is drawing to an end. Even as much as I wish to be with you, above all else, I wish for you to be happy. I know your secrets, but I know you still love me earnestly."
"I do," he whispered. "I do. Jess, I miss you so much. I love you. Nothing will change that."
"I know. I know so much, and I know this to be true. But know that as true as that is, I love you too, you and Emily both. Nothing will change that."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I-" I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry you have to endure like this. I'm sorry you have to see me love someone else.
"My love, my heart." She felt warm in his palm. "Do not be sorry. Be happy. Be free. Bring our daughter home and enjoy what this life will give."
"That doesn't make me any less sorry. It doesn't make me miss you any less. And I wish you could be happy too."
"Nothing can change what has come to pass, but you can make sure what comes next will be beautiful."
"I know. I know..."
"Many things could become clear in time, if you only ask," she said again. "This does not work if you are both dumb as bricks."
Corvo couldn't help but laugh, wiping the beginnings of tears from his eyes. "Alright, alright, I get it. Void, give me strength."
"I will still be with you, my love."
"Yes, yes, thank you. Thank you..."
"Sooner is better rather than later, and you have much to make clear."
He gave her one final squeeze before putting her away. He wasn't too far away from the next shrine, so close that he almost wanted to stall, to put off this conversation, but he should get this out of the way, like The Heart had told him.
Corvo didn't want to talk to The Outsider, not quite sure what he'd find, but he made his way towards the shrine.
And was quite the beautiful spot, all things considered. An abandoned apartment, tucked away, the wood of the shrine covered in flowers and decorated with candles. Corvo took the runes and placed his hand on the shrine, watching the world fade to the unfamiliar black pit of The Void. This wasn't how it was supposed to look at all, the colour leeched out of everything, the environment hostile. He wondered if his friend's foul mood was the cause of this, or if it was just how The Void was meant to be now.
"Vice Overseer Byrne is an ambitious man, but he believes in the Abbey's mission, protecting the good people of the empire against my influence. He'd be happy if this ended with Breanna Ashworth's head on a spike. And very pleased that you refused my Mark."
Corvo bristled at that last part, that comment about the Mark very direct and clearly a point of contention. The Outsider said it almost bitterly, as if it was a betrayal of the highest order. He had no right to think of it that way, no right to be so pissy and passive aggressive when-
"I have to ask," the voice crooned, and Corvo noticed that there was a particular sort of edge to it that he hadn't heard from The Outsider in all his years of knowing him. Not until Delilah had ripped the Mark from him. "Why are you still seeking my shrines? You've made it clear that my presence is not needed."
Fucking hypocrite.
"I..." He swallowed nervously, once again uncomfortable with the gaze of those black eyes on him. He hadn't felt such unease since the Mark was new, had gotten used to the hidden stare, a reassuring feeling. Now it felt like he was under scrutiny.
"Are times really that dire for you that you need to seek coin elsewhere-"
"What do you care?" Corvo spat. It wasn't the first time he'd spoken to The Outsider in that tone, but it had been such a long time since he had. He'd been so tired last time, broken. He hadn't cared if he'd snapped at a god that was toying with him for entertainment. His anger back then had been...misdirected, so to speak, but now he couldn't help but raise his head, look The Outsider in his soulless black eyes and let him have the full force of his fury. He deserved better than this, better than being pulled around like a dog on a leash. He didn't know why he believed the god when he'd said that he was different, why he didn't believe Daud when he'd said that The Outsider would tire of him in the end. He should have known better, but this was one thing he couldn't let go. "If all you're going to do is hang around bitching every time you see me, why are you acting like you fucking care? You've made it very clear how you feel."
"How I feel?" For the first time in the fifteen years they'd known each other, The Outsider looked good and properly shocked, the expression clear on his face, eyes wide and mouth opening and closing like a gaping fish as he tried to find his words. "You said that not only was my help not needed, but that I was not wanted in the first place. I was under the impression that we had an understanding with each other. I am familiar with hatred, Corvo. I've lived with it for thousands of years. What I can't abide by is people who lie to me. I am a god - I am not so fragile that I would take unkindly to us parting ways. You did not have to pretend to be my friend if you did not want to, and I would appreciate it at the very least that you do not place the blame on me. If you didn't want my Mark, that's quite alright, but to act so terrible about it...it's despicable."
"I- what? What in the damn Void are you talking about?!" Corvo's brow furrowed as he stared at his friend, frowning. "Did you not-"
He paused, taking a deep breath. "You think I hate you? You're the one that- I thought you didn't want me to take it?"
"How," The Outsider asked slowly, "between the earth and The Void and the leviathans beneath did you ever come to that conclusion?"
"You- you offered it to me!" He sputtered. "You don't offer! You just give! What the fuck was I supposed to think?!"
The Outsider stared at him for such a long time that Corvo thought that he'd simply left and he was looking at one of his tableaus. "You thought that I, one who values choice above all else, would try to influence your decision?"
Corvo prided himself that he didn't recoil when the god vanished and reappeared beside him, always just a little too close.
"I thought that this might have been a way to free you from me."
"Free me?" Corvo mumbled.
"The Abbey is dangerous. You're more than aware of that. You know it's power and its influence. You know the risk of carrying my Mark and how it could have hurt Emily as well. I didn't want to remove it from you myself, and I apologize for that, but this was an opportunity I could not allow to slip past. That, and...we have a respect for each other, I thought. I wanted to give you the choice this time, as a token of our friendship and our trust in each other. But then you told me that I was unwelcome, had always been unwelcome..."
His gaze flitted down to the ground, avoiding looking directly at Corvo.
"I see so many things. I see the hatred those of the Abbey harbour for me. I see how I am treated as if I am a poisonous well to be avoided. I see how this hate warps people. Never did I think that you would have harboured that hate towards me, not now. When you said to me that I was not needed, I...took great offence. It hurt. Stung. But it was your choice, so I complied, as I said I would. But then you kept visiting my shrines and I felt as if that were the proverbial salt in an open wound. I thought the old adage about coincidence may apply, but you kept coming back, kept coming to see me. I couldn't help but feel as if you were trying to spite me, boast at how well you were doing without my Mark. My only friend in my lonely existence, and he not only wanted nothing to do with me but wished to make me feel unwanted."
Corvo looked at The Outsider, much more vulnerable than he'd ever seen him, and he hesitated. What was he meant to say to that? What was he meant to say to the admission that he'd broken a god's heart?
"I thought..." He licked his lips, mouth suddenly dry. "I thought you were disappointed in me. For losing it. I thought you didn't want me to have it anymore since I was careless with it. So I might have been a bit crass when I said I didn't want it, and I'm sorry. But I still wanted to see you, apologize, but the words kept getting stuck. And I didn't get why you chose to keep coming to see me - maybe to tell me to stay away from the shrines - but you just kept talking like you normally do. More snippy, but like normal. I just- I wasn't sure what I did wrong."
The Outsider turned once more to face him, cocking his head to the side. Those eyes were trying to study him, break him apart - he knew that look. And all at once the spell was broken, something unusually soft rising to his features.
"Oh, Corvo." The Outsider took his hands in his own and Corvo tried not to flinch at how cold they were, blood pounding in his ears. "Dear Corvo. What a fool I am. I'm so sorry I've made you feel this way. I am never disappointed in you, not when you still continue to surprise me so. You thought that I'd- you were worried I'd forsake you?"
"It's happened before, hasn't it? Granny Rags, Delilah, Daud-"
"It has," The Outsider admitted. "It has indeed. And I wish I had an explanation for you. Something that would soothe your worries. Unfortunately, I do not. I am a selfish thing who does as he pleases. There is nothing I can say about my departure from them other than that they had lost my interest. You...you are an outlier that somehow manages to captivate me, even all these years later. Even when you are a portrait of the mundane, I find myself drawn to those moments we're able to spend together. Small conversations, a game of cards - whatever you can offer me to make me feel like I have done something right, I will take it."
Corvo ducked his head. The full force of The Outsider's attention, as much as he had missed it, was still a very powerful thing. He focused on their hands, held together. The god's were freezing and yet he didn't dare let go.
"I like our talks," he admitted. "I've missed them. I was ashamed to think that I'd done something to disappoint you. Angry at myself for caring so much. But you are my friend, and I would hate to lose you. I'm sorry I've been so stubborn."
"I have been stubborn as well, angry as well. But do not fret about my so-called disappointment. It is a wonder that you haven't snapped, in your position. That the streets of Karnaca are not red from the blood you have spilt. Even when you choose less lethal paths, you recognize that they are often not a mercy, and yet I still find myself awaiting the outcome. Perhaps when we first met, I would have been more stingy with my attention, but I have come to appreciate your company. You delight me so, and much like you, I would hate to lose your presence. So-"
The Outsider took his hand, squeezing it tightly. "If you'll let me..."
"Void, yes," Corvo whispered, and he felt a familiar burn underneath the god's fingers.
"There." He gave another squeeze. "All is right with the world."
Corvo felt relief flood him as he sighed. It was like homecoming, like a hole inside him had been filled, like a soothing balm over a cut, a cold cloth to a raging fever. He flexed his hand, the Mark responding in kind, burning blue from the inside out. "Thank you."
The Outsider drew Corvo's hand up to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss to the Mark. "I'll be watching."
Cold breath ghosted against his skin and this time he did shudder, his breath hitching. Feeling bold, he cupped the god's face with his Marked hand, thumb gently stroking his cheek. He leaned forward, pressing a soft, chaste kiss to his lips. Just as cold as his touch, but it was worth watching the way The Outsider's face morphed into one of beautiful surprise.
"I'll hold you to it," he promised as he was graced with one last smile, colour returning as the world snapped back into place.
"Only took you ten years."
Corvo let out a loud, ugly snort.