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The Island of Woe is known to have no weather. The temperature is always fair, the air is always stagnant, and the ‘skies’ are always a clear, endless blue. There is no wind to brush against ruins, no rain to wash away stone, and no sun to bleach color. The world down there is so neutral, so plain, lacking in diversity and life. Ortho had grown accustomed to such weather, and at one point found it preferable to what naturally occurs in nature. During his beta stages, where his niisan needed to fine-tune his parts, such neutrality was perfect. There is no weather to render him useless, and no oddities that would cause him to malfunction. It was perfect. Perfectly simple…
Yet, ever since Ortho traveled to the surface with his brother, he cannot help but wonder why the first Watchman of S.T.Y.X would ever abandon such a world to follow the commands of the Jupiter family. Sure, his sensors could never replicate what a human would feel, but what Ortho felt up on the surface is… wonderful. The sun is warm, the wind is gentle, and the weather up here is… well, magical. Experiencing this new world and its diverse weather with his brother is wonderful! In what other places can he wade through a sea of flowers? In what other land could he hop in puddles, or fly a kite?! To damn generations of families to a world of stagnant normalcy and blot is cruel…
But… what if it's for the best?
Of all the weather, of all the wonders, Ortho didn't expect… this.
The once clear sky is now grim and sorrowful, for it found itself suddenly stuffed with cotton during their brief hour in class. With the clouds came rain, laced with powerful magic that seemed to zap Ortho’s circuits upon the smallest of touches. He had never seen such odd weather like this, driven by magic, by emotion, by something so heavy that-
A crack of light, accompanied by a sound much too loud, tore Ortho away from his newfound curiosity. Was it magic too? Was it like the rain, laced with magic so heavy one may consider it a burden? Whatever it may be, Ortho knew one thing; he didn’t like it. He didn’t like how it looked, how it sounded, how it made him feel as if all his circuits were threatening to simply burn out. He didn’t like that… that thing. Yet, all he could do was stand in place, stuck outside the classroom doors as he stared at anything but the endless flashes of light. Such a phenomenon must be known to him, and perhaps stored somewhere in his data, but he can hardly manage to recall what it may be when everything in his body simply wanted to shut down. Why are things this way? Does he have a bug in his system?
“Ugh, a storm, this is literally so cringe…” Idia slumped before him, staring off into the cursed weather, “Well, let's go, Ortho…”
His brother took a few steps forward before stopping, turning back to look at him, “Ortho?”
“N-Niisan…” Ortho wanted to follow, but…
“Yeah?” Idia quickly hurried back to his side, gripping his hand, “What is it, Ortho?”
“I-” He flinched as another bolt of light tore through the sky, it's sickening wail making him want to tear up for some reason, “I-”
“Oh- oh!” As if knowing of what condition seemed to afflict him, Idia quickly unzipped his jacket, patting his chest rapidly, “Come to niisan, ok?”
Ortho bolted into his brother's arms quickly, hugging him with all his might, “Niisan, I-”
Idia hushed him, kissing his forehead before zipping his jacket up, enveloping Ortho in a comforting darkness, “Just float along with me as I walk us to the dorm, ok?”
“Ok…”
Between the comforting sound of his brother's heartbeat and his endless babble of words, Ortho felt… safe. Safe with his brother. Safe away from the sudden storm that had swept itself across campus.
He didn't want to leave.
—💀💙🤖—
In the safety of their room, the magical storm was a matter of the past. Here, Ortho is safe with his big brother. Idia tucked him into a pile of blankets with plenty of plushies, hot chocolate, and a movie. Such simplicity comforted him, and-
“I wonder…” Idia popped some popcorn into his mouth, seemingly more focused on Ortho than the movie, “Do you think you're afraid of lightning?”
“Huh?” Ortho tilted his head at his brother, “Afraid?”
“Yeah, uh- I guess being afraid would be a novel concept to you…” Idia started tugging at the edge of his sleeves, the kind of habit Ortho noticed that his brother did often when he struggled with a conversation, “Well… remember when you were just frozen out there with all that lightning? That's pretty much being afraid. Something scares you so much that you just- stop. You don't know what to do, and it's overwhelming.”
“I didn't like it at all.” That was easier for Ortho to admit than expected, perhaps even quicker than necessary as well, “It made me very…”
“Scared?”
“Yeah, scared. I was scared. I don't like being scared.”
“I don't like being scared either.” Idia leaned against him, comforting and warm, “It sucks a lot, doesn't it?”
“It does, but it doesn't make sense to be afraid! I have no reason to be afraid of lightning!” Ortho is the cumulative effort of his brother's success, an achievement unlike any other, there is no reason for someone like him to inherit fear, “My beams are a dozen times more powerful than lightning!”
“Sometimes you don't need a reason to be afraid, you know? It's just something that happens, like how some kids are scared of the dark or of ghosts. It's one of the nerfs of being alive, I guess.”
“It's a sucky nerf.” Huffs Ortho, “Illogical.”
“These things just happen, Ortho. I know saying that doesn't make the situation any better, but it's something that-”
“It's something that should have a reason! A cause!” Ortho couldn't accept that he was afraid of lightning for no reason at all, “Was niichan Ortho afraid of lightning?! Did I inherit it with the memories I inherited of him?!”
Idia's comforting weight is gone, and he's back to restlessly tugging at his sleeves once more, “Well… no. In some sense, our brother was always a hero, unafraid of anything…” There is fondness in his words, yet something sadder… something that Ortho understood much better than fear, “Unafraid until the end, in a way. Nothing ever seemed to shake him besides… yk.”
“So… this fear of lightning- it’s something I somehow developed on my own?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Not a bug?”
“Not a bug, unfortunately. It’s not something I can patch out with ease either…” Idia chuckled to himself dryly, “Man, imagine if we could push a new update just to get rid of fears- I’d do that in a heartbeat.”
Knowing that this irrational fear is due to his development as his brother's greatest invention didn't make Ortho feel any better, in fact it made him feel worse. Why is such a thing natural? If lightning were to strike him he would not "die". He might receive a level of electricity that renders him immobile, or turns him off, but he'd never truly be "gone". His brother could fix any damage, and restore him to a perfect state. So, why? Why should he be afraid? Why should he be afraid of something that theoretically could never cause him permanent harm? Is it due to his natural development as an endlessly evolving AI, or is it due to his status as a humanoid machine? Nothing about the situation made sense.
"Hey, uh, Ortho?" Idia pulled him into a hug, giving him a light squeeze, "It's fine to be scared of things for no reason, you know? Niisan will always be here for you through the scary stuff, no matter what."
"But I don't want to be scared…" Mumbled Ortho quietly in his brother's embrace, "It sucks."
"I know. It really does suck, life-changing stuff. Like, look at me, I'm scared of people, and because of that I'm sitting here like a NEET in my room as I send my tablet out to do everything for me. So much for an active school life, right?"
"But you can't help it!" Ortho would never blame his older brother for his fear, "It's scary, and you don't want to do scary stuff!"
"And you can't help it either, ok?" Idia tapped Ortho's nose lightly, "We both can't help it, but we'll both find ways to deal with it like we do right now. If you're going to be kind to me about my fear, you should be kind to yourself as well, no matter how much you don't like it."
"Fine…" Ortho merely agrees to give it a try just so that he didn't have to see Idia frown over him, "It's still stupid."
"It's very stupid." Idia kissed his forehead gently, as if apologizing for what Ortho had to go through, "Would you like to make a little plan with niisan about what to do when you encounter lightning?"
"… Yeah, that'd be nice."
—💀💙🤖—
Living with a newfound fear is scary. Ortho is worried whenever it gets cloudy now, and he checks the weather report more often than usual. Such reports may be useless in the face of Malleus and his emotions, but it's something Ortho wished to keep track of anyway… just to be safe.
This feeling of living with a fear is something Ortho didn't prefer. In a normal human, fear and anxiety may make them faint or dizzy. In him? Well, there's just a sense of unrest in his system that he can't quite shake off. His brother offered to try and patch it out of his system, and Ortho almost wished to say yes to such an offer. Living without a fear seems perfect, but perfection is simply not human nature. As a Humanoid originally meant to mimic the deceased, he had to act more human, right? He has to feel emotions, whatever they may be, and embrace them. Since fear is a part of human nature, it is something he will have to learn to cope with as well…
Oh, if only he could be as fearless as the older brother he shares a face with; a hero even in the face of death. He's meant to mimic Ortho, but this fear of his is vastly different. Does that make Ortho more… individualistic? His own person? He knows that he is an 'Ortho' separate from the Ortho that is gone, but he still wants to remain similar in some way… similar enough that he can serve the purpose of his birth, similar enough that he can remain by Idia's side as his cute little brother. Yet, at the same time… is it selfish of him to hate yet love this fear? This mark of his growth as a different person? This difference of him as the third son of the Shroud family?
It is scary, but this feeling is his alone… he must learn more about it before he'd even dare thinking about patching out the unsettling feeling that lingered in his code.
—💀💙🤖—
With the amounts of overblots happening on campus, Ortho knew that, at some point, STYX would come over to pin down the "problems". By the way his brother acted, fretting over this and that and looking at the sky anxiously after Vil's overblot, he must've come to the same conclusion as well. Ortho wished neither of them would have to worry about this, and that the two of them can enjoy their days on campus like usual (Ortho has gotten better at no longer fretting over every cloud, after all), but all sweet dreams had to end eventually.
Once the Charon spec-tech unit landed on campus, their time was up, for Idia's presence was requested at STYX HQ. Such a return gave Ortho a variety of feelings to go through, some being relief from having to face lightning, while others held concern for their futures and lives at school. He hoped his would all end quickly with a satisfying resolution, but…
Well, let's just say that communicating with his dead brother, whom he shares a name and a face, leads to getting shocked by over thousands of volts of lightning via Thunder spears. Ow. Some recommend exposure therapy to get over a fear, but Ortho absolutely could not recommend it. Worst moment of his life. It was scary, it hurt badly, and…
"I'm sorry…" Idia knelt at his feet, as if the guilt he held is a heavy burden that chained him down, threatening to drag him under, "Because of me, you had to…"
Ortho truly wished that Idia would stop blaming himself for what had happened. It's not as if Idia chose the path he was thrown at, and it's not as if Idia himself picked up the thunder spears that hurt Ortho. Such things were unfortunate consequences that resulted from a situation neither of them could control, so why did his brother have to be so cruel to himself? Why did he have to blame himself for the actions others took in retaliation to the path he found himself walking on? It's unfair. So many things about life are unfair. Why must the two of them be stuck down here in STYX, burdened by regret and fear?
"It's not your fault, niisan…" Ortho hugs his brother tightly, for he knows his words alone are not enough to make Idia consider himself more than a pawn in fate's plans, "You didn't hurt me."
"I did." Idia sighs, voice heavy with remorse, "Because I was stupid and overblotted you had to go through something so scary, something so…"
"It was really scary, and it hurt really bad, but it's over… isn't that enough? We're both ok, and we're both here together…"
Ortho isn't sure if they're both ok.
They're here together, but there's a lingering difference now, something that will paint their autobiographies in blots of black. Recovery from an overblot may not be so simple for Idia, and for Ortho… well, he's 'himself' now. The lightning, as scary and painful as it was, gave him a 'soul', a 'life'. It made his technomantic memory card something that no longer be tinkered with, so in a sense he is… free. Free of his original purpose, free from the shadow of the older brother he knew only through the memories within him. He is his 'own' being now, thanks to his greatest fear, and he still gets to be Idia's littlest (and cutest) brother. He should be happy, and he should no longer fear lightning, but…
"Wasn't it scary?" Questions Idia as he holds Ortho tight, "So scary?"
"It was." Ortho wouldn't dare to lie to Idia, "It was scary, really scary."
"Is it still scary?"
"… Yes." It's not something Ortho could ever forget.
"I wish I could've protected you better, Ortho. If only I-"
"You've done enough, niisan." He didn't want his brother to linger on this moment, for he feared that it may send Idia plunging straight into Tartarus without him once more, "You already did so much for me… don't try to do more right now."
They both should rest, shouldn't they? One nice, long nap together, away from lightning, thunder, and blot. If only they could have everlasting peace.
—💀💙🤖—
While lightning may be the reason why Ortho can pave his own path, it doesn't mean that he's going to stop being afraid of it. He still is, to an awful degree, for each clash of thunder against the sky made him ache all over, reminding him of pain he wish could be wiped away from the roots of his memory. It's fine, though. Idia would always come to find him and bring him somewhere safe, somewhere cozy. There is comfort and safety with Idia, far away from lightning, and Ortho truly appreciated his brother's efforts to help him fight away each thunderous storm.
"I wish every thunderstorm can be like this." Ortho dared to voice his thoughts as they cuddled together on Idia's bed, set up for a long movie marathon, "Imagine all the movies we can finish by the time thunderstorm season is over!"
"I'll make sure every thunderstorm is like this just for you, Ortho." Idia lightly bopped Ortho's nose, "It's my job as your big brother to make sure that you're happy, after all."
"What if Malleus Draconia creates a bunch of huge thunderstorms one day because he's really mad?"
"Hmm… well, I'll fight him!"
"You'd seriously fight him?"
"Yeah, for you!" Idia bonked their heads together with a grin, "I'm not going to let you fight your fear alone, Ortho, I'll fight with you! No matter if we're together or apart, I'll find a solution, just leave it to your niisan!"
"Yeah..! Our fears got nothing on us!"
"Nothing at all! Lightning? Lame! Social anxiety? Cringe! With the two of us together we definitely got anything that's scary ever in the bag!"
Ortho really is happy that he has Idia by his side. He's the luckiest humanoid in the world with the coolest big brother ever, and with the two of them together nothing scary can last long!
"Niisan?" Ortho held up his pinky, "Can you promise me that we'll be together forever?"
"Of course, Ortho." Idia links their pinkies together, giving it a shake, "Fate is weird, and might make us part, but I promise I'll always come back to you, no matter what. I can't let my cute little brother face lightning alone, after all!"
—💀💙🤖—
Despite what his brother promised, Ortho learned quickly that Idia can't keep his word when he's stuck in a dream. Is this also part of fate's plan? To have the world slumber? To lock his brother in a precious dream as Ortho exists alone, threatened by magical lightning that Malleus dared to call forth with every breath?
If so, Ortho wished to deny fate, to find his brother, to selfishly wake him from is slumber so that the two of them could fight this fear together, just as they have promised long ago. He wants his brother to be happy, but not at the cost of his body rotting away, otherwise Ortho might just let him sleep forever… Idia has sacrificed so much to make sure he's happy, after all. It's only fair of Ortho to make his own sacrifice someday so that Idia may be free of sorrow and fear, but Malleus's blessing of eternal slumber is not the right path.
"I'm coming, niisan!" Ortho couldn't stop his fingers from shaking as he braced the heavy clouds surrounding NRC with his Cerberus androids, "I'll wake you up… then we can face our fears together! And be happy forever!"
He's not going to let his fear stand between him and his big brother! No way! It's scary, and it might hurt like those thunder spears, but he'll face it! For his niisan! For their futures! It's the right path forward, and he'll wake up Idia so that the two of them may witness clear skies once more, together. It's a promise!