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It’s a calm and slightly cool friday night and Eddie was driving with Ravi to get a couple of drinks after a 24 hour shift. Everyone else was too occupied and Ravi gladly accepted his invite when they were leaving.
Eddie's been feeling lonely lately, if he's to be honest with himself. Which, considering everyone else was also trying to settle in the new normal without Bobby, was to be expected. After Buck stopped holding back his grief and they started to talk more about it, their bond seems as tight as ever. Buck tried to move once but his cool little house turned out to be run-down and not wanting him to fall into another real estate trap, Eddie was able to convince him to keep sharing the house until he can find a better place that fits him.
He likes to live with Buck, it turns out. Their routine matches pretty well and they save money by sharing bills. Chris seems happier when Buck's around and it's comfortable in a way Eddie has never felt with anyone beside his son. He tries to think if it was this way when they all shared Buck's loft during COVID, but the stress of the situation is all he can remember feeling. Besides, their lives are so entwined. They live together, work together, share the same friends and these days it's hard to not be attached at the hip. Eddie thought it'd be too much but he actually prefers the way things are. He cannot get enough of Buck. And after the weeks of realizations he’d had, he can admit he'd like more of Buck.
And then Buck started to pull away. It was in little ways like not going grocery shopping together or doing dinner at Maddie's three times a week and not inviting him once. And then he started to date again. That one bothered Eddie more. Getting a girlfriend or boyfriend meant someone else was getting his time, his attention, his touches, his kisses… And that was already getting on Eddie's nerves, but when Buck told him two days ago he was going to a speed dating event after nine failed dates in the last two weeks, he could feel his eyes twitch.
So yes, he was feeling a little lonely with Buck and Chris always out (his social butterfly teenager who always had a sleepover to go to these days) and impatient. So impatient he couldn’t stay in his house by himself.
“Er… Eddie, I don’t think this is a bar.” Ravi said from the passenger seat as Eddie parked his car in front of a restaurant.
“No, I thought we could eat first, you know.” Eddie got out and started walking towards the entrance. There was a sign board with the day's event right beside the door.
He wishes Ravi wouldn’t notice. But of course he did.
“Eddie, isn’t this…”
“Oh, I’m so hungry, let’s go man, c’mon.” Eddie ignores him, hurrying through the doors and going straight to the hostess.
“Hey, good night. Table for two.” He says to the hostess.
“Hello, good night.” She smiles apologetically. “We’re having an event today in the main salon, if it’s not for the event then only with-”
“A reservation, I know. It’s under Eddie Diaz.” He hurries. He can feel Ravi’s gaze burning a hole through his back, but he ignores it. He’s not paying for his dinner so he can’t complain.
The hostess guides them through the restaurant, big enough for the main salon to be a different room from the reception, and sits them on a table on the outskirts of the room. It seems the tables around the center were still sold for dinner, like an audience for the event. The center was organized with round tables much like the one he’s sitting, but only two chairs, in a pattern he doesn’t understand, all occupied with men and women dressed elegantly, changing seats after a bell rings. And on the farthest corner there was…
“Wait, it is! You tricked me.” Ravi announces, loudly.
“Shhh, yell louder, why don’t you.” Eddie puts a hand over his mouth to silence him.
“No, you tricked me, that’s Buck over there. I knew the name was familiar, this is the same place of his speed date thingy he said he’d go to.” He slaps his hand away, but lowers his voice. Not his annoyed tone though.
“I didn’t know this was the same place.” Eddie tries, but he knows it sounds like a weak excuse even to his own ears.
“Don’t give me that, you had a reservation! In your name! You planned this.” Ravi declares pointing a finger at Eddie’s face. And well…
Okay, look, it’s not his proudest moment. But when Buck spent their whole last shift talking excitedly about this speed dating event, anticipating meeting his new girlfriend/boyfriend, with a determined expression on his face, Eddie couldn’t take it. Weeks of seeing Buck bounce between dates, desperately meeting new people that didn’t click, while the tension between them kept growing… He might’ve blacked out while booking a table in the same restaurant and, contrary to Ravi’s accusations, he didn’t have a plan. He just couldn't stand listening and watching Buck going through date after date, okay? Sue him.
“I didn’t plan anything, okay?” He whisper-yells so as to keep the same volume. “I just happen to like this restaurant and-”
“Eddie.” He grouses, crossing his arms.
“Okay, fine!” Eddie sighs and rubs his neck. “I don’t know man, Buck has been going on so many dates lately and they never work, but it has been enough, he keeps looking for love in all the wrong people over and over again.” He turns his head, eyes automatically finding Buck in a different table laughing with the woman sitting in front of him. He looks gorgeous in a black tight shirt and fit jeans. His curls look perfect too and Eddie has to hold himself back from going over there and throwing a blanket on him so no one else can look at him. ”People who don’t know how kind and good he is, who would take for granted all the little ways he cares, not like-”
“You do?” Ravi cuts in, raising an eyebrow.
“- he deserves.” Eddie finishes and clears his throat, straightening up when the waiter arrives.
They take the menu and Eddie asks only for a drink. Ravi raises an eyebrow again but his stomach is twisting into knots with nerves already, he doesn’t think putting a plate with food and expecting him to eat is smart. It’s not what he came here for. He looks again and now there’s a man sitting in front of Buck. The flier had said “6 minutes to know each other” so it’s a little fast paced. Considering how many people there are, it might take a while. Not enough time to devise a decent plan, he thinks bitterly.
“Okay, so I get it. I’m friends with the guy too, you know, and I do think he’s been going a bit too hard in this dating quest of his, but still…” Ravi leans in frowning. “What are we doing here? Why didn’t you talk to him before this?”
Eddie sighs. Ravi wouldn’t understand. How can he explain that two days ago, after months of hard sessions with his new therapist in his commitment to be honest with his son and himself, after Eddie had worked through years of repressed feelings, trauma and hard truths, after he had the realization he was a gay man and in love with his best friend and he probably was for a while now, after he noticed a new sort of tension increasing between them and convinced himself to do something about it, Buck had happily announced the speed dating event and his excitement to participate was so buoyant Eddie had faltered and lost his chance to stop him. For two days now he had to listen to Buck’s constant spiel about the statistics and reviews of said event, how he was feeling optimistic about it, how he had prepared topics of conversation even. Eddie had had enough. Not only all of this could work, he realized he had way less patience than he thought he had.
And now, watching another person introduce themselves to Buck, laugh and smile at him and bask on his attention for however long it was, he could admit, if not only to himself, that he didn’t like sharing Buck’s attention. He hated it, in fact. He was almost definitely sure Buck reciprocated his feelings. He was paying attention, these last few weeks. They had an extensive history together and the proximity and domesticity shared recently only exacerbated the way Buck took care of him and Christopher. He liked to think he knew Buck pretty well so he could tell when things started to change. The stolen glances when he thought Eddie wasn't looking, the blush he got when complimented or when Eddie leaned a little bit into his space, and more noticeable the way he reacted to other people looking at Eddie. And if Eddie was right then they didn’t have to go another minute without being together. He tried to be subtle about it, to let Buck realize on his own that he could talk to him, he tried to be more touchy and flirt, but he wasn’t any good at it either, and could feel Buck’s walls blocking him every chance.
Truffly, Eddie was a bit of a coward. But how can you not be afraid of confessing to love your best friend of seven years? What if that would mess up their friendship? To the most important person in Eddie’s life, no less, after his own son. His resolve to do something about it didn’t mean he couldn’t be afraid of the outcome. And the price he was paying was watching in front row Buck meeting potential partners.
“It’s complicated.” He huffed, as their drinks arrived.
“Well, uncomplicate it then.”
“It was a spur of the moment decision.”
“We’re here on a reservation you had made previously, this is not a spontaneous thing, Eddie.” Ravi looked unimpressed.
“God, what’s with the twenty questions? Maybe I just wanted a little support, if I knew you’d be so annoyed I wouldn’t have made you come.” He crosses his arms huffing. He knew he sounds petulant, but the guilt for dragging Ravi into this was just starting to set in and he was feeling a little pitiful.
“I’m not saying that to-” Ravi sighs. “Look man, I’m on your side. I know you have feelings for Buck.”
Eddie promptly chokes on his drink. “What?”
“Ah c’mon, of course I know. We’ve all had to witness you pining for each other, right there in front of all of us and am I not supposed to notice?”
“Okay, when you say it like that…” He cuts a glance again and Buck is at yet another table, with a man, leaning closer to each other making intense eye contact and Eddie’s stomach twists uncomfortably.
“It’s so obvious, everyone knows.”
“Everyone?” His head turns so fast he hears a crick from his neck.
“Yeah man, I bet Hen and Chim have a bet going on the way they gossip about you all the time.”
Eddie groans, burying his face into his hands.
“Alright, so you’re doing this. What’s your plan, then? Just walk straight to him and take him away like he’s a damsel in distress?” Ravi chuckles, receiving his dish and digging in.
Eddie glances away again and sees the man slide a hand to Buck’s arm and he can’t take it anymore. He notices a lady getting up and hurrying away from the room, with someone who’s probably in the organization hurrying after them and seizes the moment. He gets up, barely listening to Ravi’s wait, really? and sits on the table opposed to a guy, a little farther away from where Buck is, keeping an eye on him the whole time.
“Hi.” The guy says, surprised.
“Hi.” Eddie says, not looking away from Buck. As if finally noticing the eyes on him, he looks away from the person talking to him and straight at Eddie’s. The moment his eyes lock, Eddie feels a zing go up his spine. They hold eye contact as Buck looks surprised for a second before frowning. A hand touches his on the table and he looks back at the man in front of him.
“I thought this was a last minute entry since Catherine didn’t seem to be feeling well, but now I’m not so sure.” The man said with a crooked smile.
“No, I’m… I’m just… Who’s Catherine?” Eddie says, a bit dazed. He could feel Buck’s eyes on him.
“The lady who was just sitting here. She said her name before excusing herself looking sick.” He glances to the side and back at Eddie. “I’m Matt by the way.”
“Oh, hey… I’m Eddie.”
“Hey Eddie. So, it seems you’ve got a target, huh.”
“What?” Eddie glances at Buck, who seems to be trying not to look back now. “Yeah, sorry, I’m just-”
“You’re looking for that big guy on the other side. Your boyfriend?”
“No, I mean, not really… it’s complicated.”
“Well, I’m not sure what’s going on but I do love drama. You might wanna look sharp, the bell is about to ring.”
The bell rings. Everyone gets up again moving to another table. He doesn’t care what pattern they’re following, his body pulls him forward in Buck’s direction, moving to another table a little farther. Eddie doesn’t even know what he’s gonna say to him, but he just knows he has to get there first. He launches himself between people, barely hearing the good luck directed at him and hurries to sit before Buck, barely avoiding stumbling on the lady who was gonna sit with Buck. She raises an eyebrow at him and he holds her gaze for a moment, when she huffs and looks around, walking to another table. Eddie smiles triumphant. This is his seat.
When he turns to look in front of him, Buck looks back at him with a mix of surprise, confusion and amusement.
“Eddie, what are you doing here?”
“Hi Buck” He says and he can feel his shoulders drop and his posture relax.
“I didn’t know you decided to participate too, you never told me.” Buck kept going. “I mean, you could’ve said something, we could’ve come together, but… Wait, did you know this was a bissexual event? I mean, of course you know, you’re here… You were… Uhm, talking with that guy earlier…”
Eddie blinks and really looks at him.
Buck’s expression seems to have brightened when he arrived, more alive than he saw the whole night. His eyes bright and a lopsided smile poking through the curve of his lips even though he was frowning. His tone sounded prodding, maybe a touch of jealousy. Eddie’s heart thumped harder on his chest. Maybe he is. Just like Eddie.
Emboldened by the knowledge of their mutual feelings, especially after what Ravi said to him just now, Eddie takes a deep breath and holds Buck’s gaze, trying to convey the intensity he feels.
“Buck, let’s go home.” He said confidently and low.
“What? Go home? But it’s the middle of the event.” Buck looks taken back.
“I know. But you don’t need to be here. We don’t need to go through this. I know it took me a while and it’s a very inconvenient time but we can just... Let’s go home.”
“Eddie…” He sounds astonished.
The bell rings and people start to get up from the chairs.
Eddie doesn’t look away. He keeps looking at Buck’s eyes while his hand slowly slips above his. He squeezes once. Buck looks between their hands and his eyes, a little panicked and at the same time hopeful. There’s an energy cracking surrounding them and this is what Eddie’s talking about. This proves enough of what’s real with them. They belong together and to no one else.
Someone approaches his side muttering something about changing places but Eddie’s stare never falter. He rises slowly and delicately pulls on Buck’s hand.
“Let’s go home, Buck. Please.” He tackles, fluttering his lashes.
Buck’s mouth hangs open and a flush starts to color his face. Someone clears their throat and that snaps him into motion. He’s out of his seat and is following Eddie the next second. After a few paces and making sure Buck’s eyes keep on him, Eddie turns and guides him to the exit.
He passes by Ravi’s table, who is already staring at them while eating desert and sporting a smug smile. Eddie put his car keys on the table.
“Sorry about it, but we’re going home. I’ll drop by to take my car tomorrow.”
“It’s alright.” Ravi smiles leaning back in the chair. “You’re also paying for the dinner.”
“I know. I’ll venmo you later. Thank you. Bye, Ravi.”
He glances at Buck but he looks focused on him. He doesn’t even blink. Eddie smiles and pulls him making their way out.
Once outside, they stop and just exist for a moment in the silence of the night, holding hands. Buck seems dazed still, mouth slightly open, like Eddie had broken him with the faintest of the insinuations.
“Do you want me to drive?” Eddie asks and Buck startles, like the bubble over his head popped.
“No, I… I can drive.” He blinks a few times and for the first time since they saw each other this night he breaks eye contact and starts towards his car. He pulls Eddie by their hands, still joined together and only lets go to get inside his truck.
The ride home is passed in charged silence. Buck doesn’t glance his way once. They arrive, Buck’s the first to get out of the car, Eddie following behind. They get inside, take off their shoes, throw their keys in the bowl by the door and walk to the kitchen. Eddie stands by the door observing Buck walk to the sink, fill a cup of water and down it at once. He fills it up again and Eddie can almost feel the anticipatory energy crashing between them.
Buck finally looks at him again, but glances away, suddenly timid. He clears his throat and takes a deep breath.
“So… we’re home.”
“We’re home.” Eddie repeats, amused. Buck looks so cute shifting his feet, fiddling with the glass in his hands. His flushed face made his birthmark even more pink. He’s so gorgeous and Eddie doesn’t know where to begin, but he has to get closer.
He starts slowly towards him, taking the glass from his hands and focusing on his beautiful eyes, the blue almost swallowed by the black of his pupils.
“Eddie… What did you mean-”
“I meant everything I said. You don’t need to be going on anymore dates, I’d rather you not. Because I want to be the one dating you. We’ve been dancing around this thing between us for a while now, did you notice? This tension that wasn’t here before.”
“I can feel it whenever we’re alone…” He mutters.
“Yes. Me too. It took me a minute to understand it, but I do.” Eddie was so close, leaning into his space like it was the most natural thing to do. He’s staring at the pink on Buck’s lips.
“Wait, Eddie…” Buck whispers, blinking, but not moving. “You’re straight.”
Eddie chuckles. “So, I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now…”
“Wait, you like guys too?”
“It was one of the things I realized in therapy. I don’t feel the attraction to women that I feel for men.”
“You’re gay?” His eyebrows shoot up.
“Hey, don’t seem so surprised now.”
“Oh, sorry, I just… Thank you for telling me.” Buck says, looking to his hands on his shoulders. Eddie didn’t realize when his own made their way to Buck’s waist, but their bodies naturally slot together like magnets.
“But that doesn’t really matter, when there’s only one guy I want.”
At this, Buck’s eyes snapped to him. He seems cautious and nervous, looking for something in Eddie’s face, so he kept his expression open and held his gaze.
“Are you su- Since w- Why didn’t you say anything before?”
“Yes. I don’t know, I’ve known for a few weeks. I was being a coward. We’re so close, there’s our friendship and Christopher to think about, I was so nervous… I talked to him already, by the way. He’s pushing me too every day.”
“Oh.” Buck murmurs, smiling growing. “Then what changed tonight?”
“Turns out I was more impatient than I thought.” Then, serious, Eddie said. “I don’t like to share your attention. It should only be on me.”
“Eddie-” Buck gasped, but whatever he was gonna say was swallowed by Eddie in an ardent first kiss. Their mouths slotted together, opening so their tongues could lick each other's mouths. Eddie pressed Buck against the counter, pushing a leg between his. The sounds coming from him were intoxicating and Eddie started to turn him, walking him backwards out of the kitchen.
Buck started to take action, turning their places and shoving Eddie against the wall. His hands were roaming, sliding on Eddie’s sides, up his torso, exploring, as was Eddie’s. In a tangle of limbs, they passed through the door to the bedroom, towards the bed they’ve shared for months now. Waking up in each other’s arms and pretending it’s okay and platonic just to not risk losing it has nothing on being in Buck’s arms with intention.
They roll on the bed, detaching only to take off another piece of clothes and reuniting their mouths in a hurry. Buck’s below him and Eddie supports himself on his arm to look at the expanse of him. His well defined abs, plump pecs, thick thighs and his hefty cock, hard and leaking on his belly. Eddie had never seen another hard dick besides his own, but he could feel his mouth watering. Buck was so gorgeous. He wanted to make him feel good so bad. Eddie wrapped his hand around Buck’s cock and pumped slowly. Buck let out a moan and writhed below him. Eddie captured his mouth again, before biting his jaw and kissing his way down his neck and clavicule, mouthing on his nipple before making his way back to his mouth and starting again a few more times. It’s like he was possessed, like he couldn’t get enough of him. Buck was moaning, squeezing his arm and the sheets and it didn’t take long for him to spill on Eddie’s fist, spurting till his pecs, as he kept milking him during his orgasm.
Eddie let go of his dick, wiping a hand in the sheets and inclined himself to look at Buck. He looked wrecked, pupils blow and hair askew, flushed and heaving, with ropes of cum on his torso. Eddie still felt crazed, finally feeling his painfully hard cock. Buck noticed too and made a move to touch him but Eddie stopped him. He looked up confused.
Eddie licked his lips, taking a deep breath. “Sorry, it’s just… I’m ready to burst and I want… I want to enjoy it a little bit more, but if you touch me right now…”
“It’s okay.” Buck said and they breathed together for a while, Eddie lowering himself gently above Buck, touching their temples. Buck was staring at his face and his eyes widened slightly. “ I had an idea. Up, up.”
Eddie sat up slowly, allowing Buck to ley himself flat on the bed, and let himself be manhandled until he was straddling his torso, with knees bent below Buck’s arms. The position pressed Buck’s pecs together, Eddie’s cock resting in the swell of them. That’s when he noticed the hickey and bite marks around Buck’s pectorals and neck. He gasps, cock twitching to the image of his work.
“Yeah, I’m all marked up, right? You didn’t realize huh, you were going all wild there.” Buck smirked, and his smug face was so sexy.
“Yeah, you look…” He swallowed, mouth dry. “So hot.”
“Yeah, you like what you see?” He pushed his pecs together creating a space between them. “You can fuck my tits, c’mon.”
Eddie grunts and slides his cock in the space, his cum and Eddie’s own precum easing the way. He starts to rock his hips as they hold gaze and sooner than he expected Eddie’s spilling ropes of cum that land on Buck’s neck, face, tits.
Eddie gets off him and lays beside him, still breathing heavily, while Buck cleans his face on one of their shirts. He throws the shirt on the ground and lays on Eddie’s chest, arms circling around him automatically. They stay in silence, basking in the after glow for a few minutes till Buck snickers.
“I can’t believe you crashed the speed dating and stole me away like that.”
“Neither do I.”
“Did you drag Ravi with you and just left him there?”
“You gotta take me to his house tomorrow morning to get my car back.”
“He must be so pissed with us.”
“Eh, didn't seem like it. I’ll have to pay for his dinner anyway.”
“Damn, I paid for the event for nothing.” Buck tsks.
“You shouldn’t have gone in the first place.”
“Well, you should’ve said something then.”
Eddie groans. “I know, that was so dumb.”
They both laughed together, trading kisses and settling under the covers. They had cum drying on their bodies, but no will to get out. They’re just gonna embrace a little bit more.
“I’m glad you did it though. I can’t believe I get to have you.”
Eddie pushes a little, just to make eye contact. “I’m the lucky one for having you. Just to make sure, I’m in love with you.”
Buck smiles, bashful. “I’m in love with you too.”
And here, held safely in his arms, basking in the warmth of his best friend, partner and love of his life, Eddie is glad he gets to keep Buck for himself.