Chapter Text
“Fate does not seek our consent.”
- Terry Goodkind, ‘Blood of the Fold’
There are many moments in Caleb’s life where he had felt entirely lost. Stuck in a whirlpool where he was being driven under the waves by an unstoppable force. Ripped apart by himself feeling pushed away from reality. Where he had lost the one thing he craved more than knowledge, control. In this last hour he had circled back to the conclusion that he had lost it. He had finally broken.
Please don’t let me be crazy.
He could almost smell phantom smoke and ash choking the back of his throat. A familiar tremble in his body, shifting from his hands and course through his veins. His jaw bobbed in his mouth as he tried to clamp down and contain some dignity and composure. He took a breath.
Caleb leaned back into the chair taking note of the familiar smell of leather. Maybe if he could concentrate on it enough he could forget where he was and pretend he was surrounded by his books back home.
“Take your time. This is hard for humans to process.” Came the calm voice from the pink, mushroom covered, giant. He introduced himself as Cad- Cadeus- Caduceus?
“Or please run screaming. That’s always fun.” The darker skinned woman grinned. Beau he remembered. Her hawkish eyes tinged amber with a dangerous glint as her feline ears pressed flat. He had the creeping feeling he was being hunted and a breath escaped his lips.
“Please don’t scare the new human. The amount of paperwork to replace him is ridiculous and I know I’m the one who’d have to do it.” Sighed the green fellow with pointed ears. Fjord had been quite vocal up until Caleb went quiet. He had a soothing voice, Caleb found. A southern accent that stayed at a measured tone as he delivered a large portion of their introduction. An introduction that he was still processing.
“So you're telling me, that I '' He slowly gestured to himself, eyes cast on the table not wanting to meet any of their eyes. “Caleb Widowgast must join your guild because you need a human or you’ll be disbanded for lack of diversity by your magical government?”
“More or less.” The purple one grinned, and for some reason that made him more disconcerted than anything else.
-
Caleb Widowgast was 30 years old originally from Germany but found a home in the warm american city of Zadash. And he was clever. He'd always had a great passion for linguistics and eptymologies. So becoming an academic- a professor no less- had suited his quiet disposition well. He had never particularly struggled with languages although accents he had found troublesome. There was something almost mechanical and yet wistful about the way language was created and evolved. Most people did not find it as equally fascinating but at least being a professor his colleagues were equally dedicated to one subject or another. He wouldn’t call any a friend though. Perhaps Pumat; a canadian, bushy-haired, professor in several ancient languages would be the closest. Still, it’s not like he spoke to the man outside of the university unless to meet for coffee to discuss the curriculum and such. And he'd had a few friendly conversations with the pagan theology guest lecturer Shakäste, but they were far and few between.
Caleb wasn’t particularly a people person. He liked the distance being a professor created. Liked to keep his head down and away from other people.
Most of his schedule was designed so he could avoid large crowds. And that’s why on his way back from the university he took the darker unoccupied back roads rather than the bustling main roads. He rarely found any trouble through the path. Mostly, as his colleagues noted, he often looked more homeless than a man who carried expensive old books. People often gave his disheveled self a large distance when they saw him. He was never over confident about it though, there had been times he wished he had spent the small amount of budget he had afforded for emergency transport when people would try to speak to him.
Tonight had been one of those nights. He had stayed quite late in his office reviewing his student’s work and the night, while warmer than any night in his youth, was cold and he felt himself walk slower than usual. There was a creeping sensation that ran through him that set him on edge and his hairs stand on end.
Then there was a scream. The sound was so invasive it ripped through his mind. His ears were pumping hard and his hands fought to cover them. He felt his knees hit the cold floor before he even realised his body had moved. He hadn’t registered the sound of the seven figures coming closer but more saw them through his bleary eyes. The fear flew through him as his mind screamed in equal force that he was in danger.
“So this is the new member of the Mighty Nein?” He couldn’t assign the new voice to a face before passing out. Though now he would know it belonged to Mollymauk.
-
Caleb snapped his mind back to the unusual lounge around him. He had no recollection of getting here or where here even was. Elements of it seemed deceptively normal aside from being an eclectic collection of art, furniture, and plants. Other parts were… well even he struggled to describe the door that refused to maintain a shape or colour for longer than a few seconds. The seven figures had rushed through their introductions and explanations. The Mighty Nein guild, as they explained, were a group of Fae. Fae from his understanding being non-humans. Non-humans were a polite way of putting the stuff of fairytales he was told as a child.
As Caleb mentioned he was clever. Even with the disbelief of what was happening he couldn’t ignore that there was something so obviously inhuman about the… people around him. They hadn’t exactly said what they all were but he had some guesses. Fictional literature had never been his favourite but as someone who studies linguistics with a fascination for translating old languages let’s say folklore had crept into his interest.
Beau with her lion tail and feathers blending with the short cut of hair trailing down the back of her neck, reminded Caleb of the Griffins he read about in ancient greek. There was a lithe strength in her arms and the way she stood defensively that told Caleb she could fight fiercely. And yet there was something regal about her or maybe it was the jewelry that adorned her face, the gold that complimented her skin.
Even in tattered grey jeans and worn leather jacket, Yasha expressed presence with feathery white wings. Her hair pleated and beaded like warriors of old with the kind of paleness that made Caleb look sun-kissed. Despite her gentle voice there was something dangerous about how she loomed. The word Valkyrie crept into his mind with old norse texts etched into his memory.
“If it helps you're not dreaming, dead, crazy, in a coma- missed any?” Beau asked the group.
“The not drunk, drugged, or high are always good ones.” Nott added, though Caleb wasn’t sure if that name was a joke or not.
Nott reminded him of the stories he was told as a child, Kobolds- Goblins in the english. They had so many names after all- in pretty much all european languages- and all told different stories of their nature. The child in him was unnerved by her claws worried of the mischievous knaves who poisoned and tricked unsuspecting folk. But there was something kind in her face that reminded her of brownies that would guide lost children out of forests. The green skinned girl stood at about 3 feet and despite the yellow eyes and toothy smile, she worried him the least.
“I’m sorry that we’re not good at this. We really should have gone a little slower.” Jester said coming round to his side. She was beautiful, objectively, Caleb noted. Her ethereal blue skin, pixie like features, and stunning wings fluttering behind her reminded him of stained glass. “The good part of this is that you get to open yourself up to a whole new world and a group of people who will look out for you forever.”
Forever. While not being particularly long in letters was dauntingly long as a concept.
“Humans we call on tend to keep us in touch with the world.” Fjord explained. “They stop us from being feral and forgetting the importance of living with rules. Some inducted humans have ended up being writers of great fantasy series. Some have been great doctors that have helped us find alternatives to our problems with modern medicine.”
“So why choose me?” Caleb asked slowly. They all seemed to be a little sheepish at the question, except Mollymauk. Mollymauk had done little but disinterestedly drink from his glass.
“Well… we don’t. A banshee does, that was the scream.” A small shudder passed through him. Ah okay he had wondered about that. Mollymauk continued, “And for choosing you? Probably something in the bloodlines like a great-great grandfather mating with a nymph. Banshee’s don’t love humans all that much.” They all hummed or nodded at that.
“So I am not human?”
“You are, In everyway that counts. I doubt any human doesn’t have even the slightest amount of fae. Doesn’t stop you from being human, you only really stop being human if you develop creature features or powers. I wouldn’t worry about it. Anyway, we should probably do the species introduction which is usually the hardest-” He cut Beau off not wanting to be treated like an idiot any longer.
“-You’re a Griffon. She’s a Valkyrie, a Goblin, a demon, and are you three nymphs?” He lost air a little at the end gesturing to Fjord, Cadesusus, and Jester. They stilled for a moment.
“Well don’t you catch on quick. Interestingly, sort of. Caduceus there is a dryad, a tree variety of nymph. Fjord is a siren, which is a distant relative of water nymphs.” A male siren, how fascinating, he thought to himself. A troubling thought passed his mind about whether he had been manipulated by the man's voice through this. “And Jester-”
“I’m a Vila” Okay, so that's a new one. “A close cousin of the nymph. Mostly we’re just not tied to a place or a thing and much more fun.” She explained excitedly floating momentarily off the ground with the wings behind her fluttering away.
“And Molly’s not exactly a demon. Well, he is, just-” Nott started but was cut off by Mollymauk.
“Now Nott, we don’t need to get into specifics.” They warned, lavender hand outstretched. Their horns dripping in jewelry tinkled like a bell as they moved.
“So apart from kidnapping humans, what is it this guild does?” Caleb asked.
“We’re technically called Fixers. Even though they only throw us at problems that can't be fixed and we just slap the violent equivalent of gaffa tape on top of a crack the size of a football field. But they pay us so.” Beau happily chipped in before eating some crisps.
“But don’t worry about that, that's our job. You're more like an ambassador.” Yasha said kindly.
“An ambassador? Are you expecting me to talk to people for you?” He suddenly felt a rush of anxiety flood him though he made sure to try to appear calm.
“No, that's my job. We just need you to talk to us.” Fjord smiled.
Caleb laughed grimly. “Right. Talking. What I am best at.” They had nothing much to say at that.
-
The Xhorhouse, as they called it, was quite spacious. They others had bought things from his home to his room. Including his cat, Frumpkin, that gave him an overwhelming relief to see. The others had quite fallen for the feline also. When he first laid eyes on Frumpkin he closed the door behind him and shut out the world. Couldn’t bring himself to change or even take off his shoes. Just curl around his disoriented cat, closing his eyes tightly and concentrating on the feeling of Frumpkin’s fur and fill his senses with his purrs. He managed to fall into a troubled sleep.
While he wasn't being held hostage it seemed leaving was not on the agenda. He had inspected the shifting door several times. He found when he would stare too long at it or move towards it the others would float nearby. They tried to keep him distracted but not knowing him well they were woefully unsure as to how.
Mostly they just held ‘meetings’. The meetings were for a few hours twice a week and he’d been present for two now. They made him feel like a fly on the wall as he was largely ignored during them. Even though he found himself paying the most attention. Fjord spent much of his time preparing for them. While he wasn’t sure what that meant it seemed there must be some sort of correspondence he had to deal with. Sounded like he was making a lot of calls and there were moments he seemed stressed. Still from what he understood, Fjord was their leader and he was in charge of them getting jobs which also meant a lot of schmoozing. Which meant having to know the right people, be seen at the right places, and run meetings saying all this. A meeting like the one he currently was in.
“Lord Percival and Lady Vex'ahlia de Rolo of the Vox Machina were married last week and we sent our congratulations of cookies and a card.” Fjord spoke to the room of barely interested faces. Caleb was suddenly reminded of his lectures with first years. “Jester, you’ve been invited on the TravelerCon Ball committee once again.” There were groans but Jester seemed gleeful at the news.
“Oh Good! I can’t wait!” She grinned. Caleb felt almost forgotten. He had chosen to sit away from the others at the window with his book in one hand. He often glanced down to seem as if he was reading rather than listening intently. No one else appeared to be listening much anyway as they were slung across various furniture fiddling with things. Caduceus seemed the most attentive watching Fjords words and drinking his tea. He also seemed to watch everyone’s faces closely. Caleb practically felt the Dryads eyes on him as he pretended to read. When he next looked up and caught the pink man's eye it seemed to have some humor in it. Like he could tell Caleb wasn’t really reading. He decided to look away and bring his eyes back to the Siren.
“And finally we have been invited to the Harvest Close Festival but it seems they’ve urged that we haven’t been invited to compete in the games and we are only welcome to send two representatives to the Pre-Harvest Close Gala… and that those two should not be Nott, Mollymauk, or Beau and that if they attend there will be consequences.”
“That’s some bullshit.” Beau grumbled.
“We didn’t even do anything.” Nott agreed.
“You did punch a guy starting a brawl, managed to smash the champagne tower, set fire to a countess’ dress, hit on the archduke’s wife as well as the archduke himself, and attempted to steal a prized painting” Fjord responded.
“In our defence-” That’s as far as Mollymauk got before Yasha covered their mouth.
“I’m sure we can figure out who would be best suited to go this year, I’m sure Jester would be happy to.”
‘Of course! You know I love to buy new dresses for these!” Jester squealed. She made a show of jumping up and offering a hand to Fjord. “Mr. Fjord would you accompany me?”
“You know I hate these things but I am pretty much obliged to go.” He sighed defeatedly.
“Aye Aye Captain!” Came the response from the group with shared smiles. It was something they often said to close meetings especially to add to Fjord’s misery. Fjord moved over to him as the others drifted away to their other duties. Duties he still didn’t quite understand.
“I’m sorry you found this so boring you felt the need to read.” He drawled. Caleb fought to keep his eyes on the book in front of him.
“Your meetings feel like I'm sitting in a school assembly. I am sorry that I am not more enthused.” It wasn’t a lie. He would only feel more like a child if he was asked to stand and sing hymns. He saw Fjord move in his peripheral to lean on the wall beside him.
“I’m not surprised. The others are likely less interested in this and they at least know what I’m talking about.” For some reason this angered Caleb and he looked up at the green figure.
“The concepts of weddings, festivals, and gala’s aren’t exactly foreign to me. It is more that you have made little effort to teach me on who or what these specific ones are. I am supposed to talk to you, correct?” Fjord looking chastised, nodded. “About what? What on earth could I give you advice or opinion on when I know nothing about you all or the world you live in.”
“I know we’ve been slow about letting you in. It’s sort of a routine precaution.”
“Precaution?” He asked slowly.
“Some humans don’t last a month into a guild. Not because of any dangers but because they can’t handle it. You have been strong about it but also distant. Forgive us if we want to wait a little longer before telling you more information about us.”
“You think I might go crazy.” He said coldly. The tone wasn’t meant to offend Fjord but more because they weren’t entirely wrong. Was weakness written on his face? Still, Fjord looked sheepish at it. He lowered himself to Caleb’s eye level, his eyes shone with a sincerity he didn’t know existed in the siren.
“I really hope you don’t, trust me, I don’t. But in case you can’t take it the council will make you forget. They don’t exactly do it nicely. The less we have to make you forget the better.” He stared at Caleb a little longer. When it became clear he wasn’t going to respond he stood up and made way to leave. “If it helps we’re rooting for you- maybe you could trust us a little.” And with that he left Caleb to chew on what he said.
When they weren’t having meetings it was like living in a student house, Caleb imagined. They were all young he supposed. There was always a game or a bet- an arm wrestle or something going on. Usually between Beau and Nott it seemed.
Jester was baking almost every morning new delicious treats. She chatted and sang as she did so excitedly narrating herself. There was something that struck him as nostalgic in it. His mama on a special day when he was young would like to bake for him. So when Jester made spritzkuchen for him he couldn't help but feel touched.
“To make you feel a little at home. I know I’d miss seeing my mama.” He didn’t have the heart to tell her she wasn’t alive anymore. Especially with such an expectant look on her face. Eager to please, he took a bite and it was too sweet for his taste but he forced a smile.
“Danke, Jester. This means a lot to me.” Her smile was blinding and he felt a more real expression spread to himself. She squealed and embraced him tightly.
“Oh Caleb! I’m so glad you like it! Let me know if I can make anything else!” He nodded as she swept out.
Caduceus on the other hand was their chef. Caleb had never eaten so many mushroom based meals in his life. When he wasn't he tended to disappear off to his conservatory which Caleb had been addamently been told he couldn’t enter. When he asked why, Yasha just laid a hand on his shoulder and unhelpfully told him “It's where he grows tea.” Tone far too sage to make any sense to him
Beau and Fjord were up going for runs early and often hitting the training room. Not that the others didn’t but the others seemed to like going by themselves. Yasha and Mollymauk spent much of their free time together during the day outside of the Xhorhouse. In the evenings Yasha liked to peacefully read. Caleb often found her company enjoyable. On the other hand, Mollymauk would always go out drinking either alone or with one of the others. The other had become somewhat of a mystery to Caleb that seemed to find his presence bothersome enough not to even stay in the house for long.
And there was a lot of drinking. A few of them often disappeared off somewhere and came back drunk, or pointedly didn’t come home till noon. Some simply drank at home. But there was always someone at the house. One time he heard Beau complain to Caduceus about being stuck on babysitting duty. Though he thought they were wardens if anything. He mostly felt like a prisoner no matter how comfortable they tried to make him.
He had taken up a sort of hobby other than reading. His possessions they had brought included a lot of leather bound journals he had planned to use for writing his semesters notes in. Now they had a new use. A Bestiary would be the correct term he supposed. He made many notes on all of them and everything they said. Well not the swearing and inappropriate humour but anything that he deemed important. An eidetic memory was helpful with people who tried to say a lot but nothing at the same time. They would be happy to talk about themselves on the surface level but not much about their world and species beyond the meetings. Caleb often wondered if it was a way to humanise them.
He had caught them a few times trying to do things with magic, or using their tails and wings then upon seeing Caleb they would stop. It had finally reached Caleb's last nerve when he walked into a room where Jester was painting on the ceiling fluttering her wings behind her, saw Caleb and then promptly dropped to the ground momentarily fighting to keep her balance.
“Stop it!”
“Stop what?” Jester answered innocently
“I am not some weak human who will faint if you use your wings.” Caleb shouted. “If you will not let me go back to my normal life you will at least let me be a part of one here!” They all look like students often did when he reprimanded them for not handing in work.
“Awh, our baby boy has grown up.” Mollymauk laughed. “Thank hell's. It was annoying not using my tail.”
“I’m sorry. We had presumed it would be easier for you to adjust slowly if we weren’t so.” Fjord waved his hand looking for the words.
“Clearly not-human?” Beau snorts. “To be fair I don’t think we were really hiding our shit anyway."
They opened up more after that in small ways. Yasha instead of trying to keep her wings pinned all the time, which seemed to tangle the feathers, let them out more often. Sometimes she would take great time to preen them and would offer to preen Beau’s, who would always accept while blushing. Caleb found himself fascinated with Beau and Mollymauk using their tails like extra limbs to open doors and pass things over. He hadn’t realised how much they used them and that by trying to hide it must have felt like missing an arm or a leg. Hopefully he had shown them some strength in speaking up. Maybe they will trust him a little more.
-
When many of the Nein headed out the door that night Caleb realised that the only babysitters tonight were Mollymauk and Nott. That was unusual. The two were almost always out. Perhaps his upfrontness about not hiding around him had led to this. Or maybe the others were done with not going out because the other two rarely babysat.
Nott had taken it upon herself to mother Caleb a little. Deciding that all his coat buttons needed repairing. To be fair to her they were quite loose after Caleb nervously pulling and twisting them so often. A bad habit he thought he left in his childhood. He watched her small dexterous hands work over the coat quickly and expertly. He found himself warmed to her and found most of her actions endearing even if strange. When she handed it back he took it graciously and thanked her.
“I’m sorry about all this though I’m not sorry you're here.” She paused. “We don’t know what to do with you.”
“Ja, I realised.”
“We actually have never had a human join before and a few of us never really spoke to one.” He took that in for a moment. He supposed with everything that happened it did make sense. “We try to keep so secret all our lives and if we do interact with the human world we change everything about ourselves. It's scary that you're here seeing all of us all the time. Were not people of rules exactly but you being here feels like breaking them even if we were told you had to be.”
“And I am a man of rules and logic and being here feels like I’ve lost my mind.” He breathed out a little frustrated. “I am not a people person and yet I am now surrounded with them every single second. If you feel this is quite contradictory then I believe we are in the same metaphorical boat.” She gave him a measured look with her large amber eyes. It was the first time he had really felt seen while being here. She offered him some of her flask he took it consideringly.
“You honestly don’t want it. She drinks the cheap stuff that will burn your insides.” Caleb started, almost quite entirely forgetting the purple demon was in the room. Mollymauk sat by themselves shuffling cards in the dimly lit room. Their purple skin glimmered complementing their burgundy silk shirt. The light was quite flattering on them and caused their made up face to shimmer when they moved.
Nott stuck her tongue out at them. “Whatever, you’re stuff’s too fruity to be any good either.” Caleb was surprised to notice for the first time that Mollymauk did possess pupils in their crimson eyes. They appeared to roll them at Nott.
“Only to you. Weren’t you planning to call Yeza tonight?” They raised his eyebrow challengingly. Nott seemed to furtively glance between the two.
“Yes.” She hissed at Mollymauk with a glare. “Don’t break the human!’ Snarling she jumped up and left. Caleb wasn’t sure if he should be insulted or intimidated by the threat. He put his eyes back on the demon who was still shuffling quietly.
“I have not seen you around much.” Caleb started, taking a sip from Nott’s flask. He fought the urge to blanch at the taste. It was strong and fiery and left a burning sensation on his tongue. Then an enjoyable pepper smoothness rolled over him. He took another sip.
“The others felt I had best avoid your company. I agreed.” Mollymauk sighed. “I am the only one who feeds from humans so it makes sense.”
“Feed? Like a sort of Vampire?”
“Not exactly.” Came a flirty grin. “On the day we met you realised I was a demon. We did say they were a few different types. I am what's known as an Incubus. Or Succubus. They have yet to create a gender neutral title for us. And while my diet is... varied, humans tend to be the best source of chi.” The name had rung a faint bell, they were written about largely in religious latin texts. He took a moment to think back to his etymology volumes. The word incubus is derived from Late Latin incubo "a nightmare induced by such a demon." Now he could recall the descriptions of the sexual demons that would lead their victims to insanity and death.
“Chi as in energy? Some sort of sexual energy I am assuming by the legends.” Caleb pushed away any mild alarm for his curiosity.
“Aren’t you clever? Honestly, I would have thought you were a spy with the knowledge you have of us all.” They slid closer to the ginger very much passed what he would consider personal space.
“I read.” He shrugs, not sure how to explain himself or want any fear to appear on his features.
“That you do. It seems that’s all you do around here- isn’t there anything better to do?” Mollymauk seemed quite close now. They had a challenging look in their red eyes but beyond that there seemed to be a calculation. They were trying to see if Caleb was scared.
“It is what I enjoy and as nice as this house is...” He paused, meeting Mollymauks’ eye purposefully. He was not a man who backed down easily. “If I must remain in it then it is all I can do.”
Mollymauk backed off and leaned casually into his side of the sofa. It seemed Caleb passed whatever test that was. “Yes, we are talking to Fjord about that. Letting you out. Of course going back to your life is out of the question but you can’t just be locked in here.” Caleb felt a pang deep down at it being stated quite so openly like that. He had known that it was likely he couldn’t return home but he still had to swallow at the admission.
“I hope he listens for all your sakes. I can be quite an insufferable prisoner.”
“Oh I don’t know I'm sure even all tied up I think you wouldn’t mind being a good boy.” Caleb opened his mouth to say something- anything but he managed an annoyed look.
“I do not like being made fun of.” He ground out. Molly's expression dropped.
“I didn-”
“Molly, you better not be bothering him or I will shoot you!” Nott screeched then. He heard Mollymauk mutter something under their breath as they got up to leave but he didn’t recognise the language.
And he was left alone then. Something in him felt unsettled by it before Frumpkin jumped up beside him. Caleb didn’t know what to make of that feeling.