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it’s hard to sleep on the hardboard, even though it’s already been a week, Jeongguk can’t get used to it. He knows Jimin is also still awake, but they can’t speak whilst lying next to each other like this, with all their unit members right next to them.
it’s forced silence, forced sleeping, and it’s hard because jimin is his all-nighter friend. this should be the time they can talk, joke around, laugh, and do whatever so that the night goes by faster.
but it doesn’t, it drags on slowly, and it feels like eternity.
his head starts to ache after what must have been an hour or so, they don’t have a concept of time. no clock, no phone, no watch.
Jimin is breathing in and out steadily next to him, eyes closed. Seems like sleep finally caught up to him at least.
Jeongguk sighs, looks at the ceiling.
It’s kind of lonely..
His body, he doesn’t notice it that much anymore, the hardwood, but no matter which position he turns, his head just hurts. And it’s heavy too, when he lies on his arms or hands, at some point they get sore.
It’s a little cold. He’s probably gonna be in bad shape tomorrow if he doesn’t sleep.
He turns his head again, now face to face with Jimin.
He snorts soundlessly.
Jimin sleeps with his arms up, like a baby. Somehow even though he’s been having a hard time with their training, he can still sleep like this.
It reminds him of back in the dorms, when he used to climb into Jimin’s bed, and sleep there because he felt so alone in his room. He’d get scolded for it, but he could always tell Jimin really liked it too.
Jimin always takes pride in things like that, being a comfort to him, being his go-to person when he needs someone, even if he doesn’t really dare to ask for anything.
And he’s never said it out loud, but it’s true.
Jimin is his comfort, he needs him around, and he’s so glad they’re here together.
He bites his lower lip, contemplates if he should just crawl a little closer. As long as it doesn’t wake Jimin up, maybe he can just..
He moves closer, lifts his head just a bit, rests it on Jimin’s arm.
It’s soft.
It’s comfortable.
It’s warm.
Jimin’s familiar scent intrudes his nose and he feels his eyelids sink slowly. When they close he can see their old dorm, can feel the warmth of Jimin’s body against his. How young and carefree they were then, he never even knew.
———————
The construction site is not coming together at all.
Every other second, someone is drilling into the ground but it’s too hard to penetrate. Yet, for some reason, no matter how many times Jimin yells at him, the guy just won’t stop aimlessly drilling.
He clicks his tongue, shakes his head. Should just focus on his own work. His hammer in his hand is way too heavy though, it’s like he can barely lift his arm when he tries to hit the nail.
And that fucking drill is so loud, it’s like right next to his ear.
He frowns, looks over his shoulder and sees the guy actually drilling right next to his ear. What a fucking idiot, this is not even his project, he’s fucking it all up.
Jimin jerks awake, the cold hardboard under his back, a grimace on his face. It’s dark, and he can’t feel his arm.
The drilling sound startles him a bit, and when he turns he sees Jeongguk’s head right next to him, so close that their noses almost touch.
He’s snoring so damn loud it wouldn’t be a surprise if the entire unit was awake.
Even though jimin is slightly disoriented, a soft chuckle leaves his lips. Can’t believe he was dreaming of a construction site because of this, he needs to remember that so he can tell Jeongguk in the morning.
Jeongguk looks so cute too, with his mouth open a bit, his big nose, his soft lashes. What a dork. Even though his head is heavy, it’s feels kind of warm too. Jimin can’t remember the last time this even happened, someone sleeping on him like this.
Nevertheless, he needs to sleep now, so he gently pushes Jeongguk off of him, waits until the snoring stops before he tries to sleep again.
A small smile pulls on his lips.
His heartbeat picks up just a little.
It’s just, kind of adorable.. Jeongguk finding him in his sleep, lying on his arm and snoring so loudly. Must have felt comfortable for him..
Ah, he’ll tease him about it in the morning..
———————
The comfortable warmth is gone, and he wakes up to find he’s not lying against Jimin anymore.
He pouts, grabs Jimin’s waist and pulls him closer, lies on top of his arm again. He wants to drape his leg over him as well, but thinks that might wake him up, so he just lets it be.
———————
It’s not even five minutes later when he feels Jeongguk rests his head on him again, an arm draped over his body as well this time.
Logically, he should push Jeongguk off again, because there is no way he can get any sleep with that construction snoring next to his ear.
On the other hand, this is the most comfortable he’s felt since they came here.
The familiar scent, the warmth of Jeongguk’s body pressed against his side, the breaths fanning against his shoulder and neck. Something about it just feels like home, takes him away from this place.
He gently ruffles through Jeongguk’s hair, looks at him snore as though he’s having the best sleep in his life.
And maybe losing sleep to see him like this isn’t that bad..
If he could grant Jeongguk one of the best sleeps in here, he’ll gladly let him kill off his arm.
He regrets it just a little bit in the morning when his entire arm feels like static.
But telling Jeongguk about his dream and making him laugh about it later that day does really make up for it.
———————
It’s when he tells the story again during their live after they just discharged, that it hits him it might be a little awkward for Jeongguk that he’s sharing this with the world.
He’s said it once before back in their rookie days that Jeongguk secretly says things like “I love you” in his sleep, and right after that Jeongguk stopped coming to his room for a while.
Somehow, Jeongguk is like that, embarrassed when he calls him out for being affectionate.
So he tries to make it a little more funny, leaves out the part where Jeongguk had his arm draped over his body, and doesn’t mention the part where he didn’t push him away in the end.
Nor does he mention the many times it happened after that.
When he looks at Jeongguk, he expects some sort of a laugh, some sort of a sarcastic comment, or an apology, but Jeongguk just lets it sink for a second, and says:
“I guess I wanted to lean on you.”
It’s not sarcastic, nor is it funny, it’s just a statement.
Jimin’s heart skips a beat, but they’re on live so he just laughs softly.
“You leaned on me a lot didn’t you?”
Jeongguk just nods, and they move onto another subject as if that didn’t happen.
———————
It sticks with him though, even after the live, after the entire day is over, after another few days pass and he’s seen all his family and friends.
It hits him when he’s finally home, in his own house, and no one is there.
When he brushes his teeth and lies in bed and it’s quiet, dark, and the mattress is too soft.
I guess I wanted to lean on you.
It aches a bit.
Seeing Jeongguk every single day, sleeping next to him, talking before going to sleep and joking around when they wake up and showering together and relying on each other..
His bed is too big for himself.
Jeongguk isn’t here.
It’s stupid.
After 1,5 years he should have had enough. He’s sure Jeongguk is glad to be in his own house again, to sleep in his comfortable bed. He should probably take his example.
But even when he closes his eyes, he feels that absence next to him.
———————
It’s excruciating to sleep in his own bed.
1,5 years of sleeping next to Jimin, or in the same room as him, he can’t get used to the silence.
Maybe not even the silence, but the overwhelming lack of presence anywhere in the room.
Even though he doesn’t want to admit it, the times where he leaned on Jimin were the best sleeps he ever had during their time there.
Right now, even though he has a king sized bed with the softest mattes and weighted blankets, he can’t find a comfortable position.
He tosses and turns, gives up after a while.
Is it admitting defeat if he calls Jimin?
It’s not even been a week.
He calls him anyway.
“Jeonggukie?”
“I can’t sleep.”
“Mm, me too.”
Jimin says it so casually, like he understands exactly what he means.
He probably does.
Jeongguk leans his head over the edge of his mattress, looks at the door of his room.
“It’s weird.”
“The silence?”
“Yeah. And the mattress.”
Jimin laughs softly.
“Too soft, right?”
“Yeah, I think I need to get used to luxury again.”
“You don’t need to. Throw your mattress out, sleep on the pallets.”
Jeongguk grins.
“Is that what you’re doing?”
“Huh? Of course. I still sleep in my uniform Jeongguk-ah.”
That tone of voice always gets to him. When Jimin is joking around he just gets this edge to his tone, he can’t explain it, but it makes him laugh.
“You’re waiting for our platoon sergeant to wake you up?”
“I’m prepared for anything, you better watch out before I wake you in the middle of the night to come on patrol with me.”
Ah, he’s missed this.
This stupid back and forth they did just a week ago in their dorm, every single day, for a year and a half.
“Patrolling along the Han river.”
“You’re geared up too right?”
“Of course.” He bullshits along. “I wear my baret even under the shower hyung.”
“As you should. I’ll be in front of your door soon.”
Jeongguk smiles at the ceiling.
“They’re gonna think we’ve lost our minds if we go out wearing our uniform.”
“True, they’d think we’ve forgotten that we’re idols.”
He snorts, rolls back into another position, tries to get comfortable but it just doesn’t work.
And then he hears the same on the other end, Jimin moving around in his bed.
“Hyung.”
“Mm?”
“Would it be weird if..”
He cuts himself off, because, yes, it would be weird.
Sleeping by himself has never been a problem, he just needs to get used to it again. He’s been living on his own for a year before they went to military service, it shouldn’t be a problem.
“If what?”
“Nothing.”
He brushes it off, and just starts another conversation.
Somehow, even after being together in the military for over a year, they talk for hours on end.
———————
It’s a routine.
They go through their days, leave for home, and then around twelve, Jeongguk calls him.
They talk a lot, sometimes they don’t talk but watch videos while still being on call, and then they fall asleep somewhere along the late hours.
It’s a bit stupid, it’s embarrassing really. He hasn’t told the other members about it because it’s so ridiculous.
But he just can’t sleep without it. They tried it one night, to not call, and just sleep, but he’d gotten a message from Jeongguk around 4 o’clock asking if he was still awake too.
And so, it goes on for a while.
But something else festers inside of him too. Even though he sees Jeongguk most of the time during the day at the company, he just misses his presence in the late hours.
Even though they call, he can’t help but feel that his bed is empty, his house is just an empty space.
And then he thinks about the times Jeongguk leaned on him in his sleep, and something about it just makes him feel right. It was so cosy, so comfortable.
But man, how embarrassing would it be to ask Jeongguk to come over and sleep beside him.
He’d probably never hear the end of it.
———————
Is it embarrassing that he’s invited Jimin over for dinner in the hopes he stays until late and sleeps over?
Probably.
He’s got soju and beer stacked up in the fridge, a delicious home-cooked meal, even got his beamer upstairs all ready to subtly suggest watching some old content after dinner. In bed.
He doesn’t think he’s ever gone this far on a date even, and he’s not even doing it for sex he’s doing it for sleep.
He’s orchestrated all of this to sleep next to his best friend. In the hopes of a snuggle.
Yeah, yeah; this is pathetic.
Never in his 27 years would he have thought that the thing he’d take with him from the military was not being able to sleep unless it’s next to Jimin.
That’s why he can’t even say it out loud, he’s just going to make Jimin stay so late that he’s got no choice but to sleep over.
It’s gonna be so easy, Jimin loves staying up late and he’s slept here many times before they left for the military, so it should be smooth sailing.
“You know, I was gonna say I missed your homemade food but..”
“But I cooked for you in the military every day.”
“Yeah, it has a distinct taste so now it just reminds me of the barracks.”
“Shit.”
They chuckle about it.
He pours Jimin some soju, then for himself.
“Maybe you should cook next time.”
“Ah?” Jimin shakes his head. “Last time I helped wasn’t a succes.”
Jeongguk snorts at the memory.
“You and that huge spatula.”
“Didn’t I look like a cartoon character?”
“You looked so out of place there, it was hilarious.”
“Ah but I’m still surprised how hard it was, I could barely stir the rice.”
He scrunches his nose as he laughs, drinks some soju.
“You know how when we were there we kept talking about being back?”
Jimin asks.
“Yeah.”
“Now we keep talking about what it was like there.”
Jeongguk nods.
“So much happened.”
“Right, it’s impossible to share all the stories.”
“I was thinking about something to say on the live but as I was about to start I remembered we were showering together at that time.”
Jimin chuckles, eyes turning to little crescents, cheeks already a little pink from the beer and soju.
“I had that too, I was gonna talk about something and suddenly remembered we were on a secret mission then.”
Jeongguk nods.
“It’s been so long since we’ve been in the public eye I can barely look into a camera, let alone think about what I can and can’t share.”
“I had that with the you sleeping on my arm story, I didn’t know if that was-“
“No that was fine-“
“I didn’t say you were practically glued to my side, holding onto me but-“
“No one has to know that.”
He feels a little shy, thought Jimin might have forgotten about that, but evidently he was wrong.
There is a twinkle in Jimin’s eye, unavoidable, and that smile on his lips.
“You leaned on me many times after that.”
Jeongguk averts his gaze.
“I know, you got used to my snoring.”
“I had construction dreams every night.”
“You did?”
“Oh, Jeongguk-ah, you should have seen. By the end I had an entire residential area, playground on the left, school in the middle.”Jimin explains, hand gestures and all. “I put that drill guy to work.”
Jeongguk laughs softly.
“I’m glad I could help.”
They go on and on about everything that happened back then, laughing, drinking, letting it all out.
No one can relate to their experience but the other. He can share his stories with family, with friends, but none of them will understand it as well as Jimin does.
At some point, when Jimin starts slurring his words a little more, Jeongguk suggests watching some old content upstairs.
It feels kind of greasy.
But he’s vibrating out of his skin thinking about finally having Jimin next to him again.
It’s one of the most weird feelings he’s had in his life, probably.
“Upstairs? You have a tv right here.”
“Yeah but I’ve got the beamer in my room, remember?”
“Oh yeah, right.”
Good, Jimin seems completely unaware of his intentions.
Not that they’re bad, ah.. how does he even explain it?
As they walk upstairs he bites on the inside of his cheek, blush creeping up his neck.
It’s too weird to bring it up; the sleeping thing. Because, fine, he’ll admit it, there is something about it that goes a little too far for a normal friendship.
He’s never wanted to snuggle with any other guy, and he’s never wanted to snuggle with Jimin before the military. Yes, they’ve hugged and they’ve slept in the same bed and they’ve accidentally spooned before, but it’s not about that. It’s about the intent behind it.
Before, he’s never felt this need to be close. But the way the military tried to diminish close proximity has worked counterproductive, and he just craves to feel Jimin’s body warmth.
So, when he settles on his bed he kind of hopes Jimin climbs right against him, but that doesn’t happen.
And it’s fine, it’s only the start, so, he’s got some patience left. At least they’re in bed together.
He just puts on some old concert of theirs, they’re always fun to watch. It’s easy to comment, to laugh, to tease, they’ve done this countless of times before.
However, as the video progresses, Jimin isn’t moving any closer, and Jeongguk starts getting a bit twitchy.
It’s so weird, he doesn’t know why he can’t just let it go. It’s sort of embarrassing.
No, scratch that, it’s plain pathetic. He’s looking for excuses to touch Jimin already.
Is this normal? He doesn’t think it’s normal.
“Ah, you always used to do that.”
Jeongguk nods at the screen.
Jimin looks at it.
“What? Oh, run my hand through my hair.”
“You didn’t do it that much in the barracks.”
“Well, I had no hair, did I?”
Jeongguk chuckles softly, crawls a little closer. This is the perfect excuse. He knows Jimin well enough to take this bait.
He runs his hand through his own hair.
“I kind of miss how it feels, the buzzcut.”
“You do?” Jimin asks, smirk pulling on his lips. “I can buzz it for you, you know?”
Jimin reaches out, grabs some strands of his hair, and Jeongguk chuckles when he pushes him off, holds Jimin’s wrist.
“I would do it if it looked cool, but I looked like an egg.”
“You looked good with it, actually.”
Jimin grins, still trying to grab his hair, so Jeongguk has to play fight him.
It’s natural. When Jimin gives up, Jeongguk us finally pressed up against his side at least.
Half the mission accomplished.
He smiles to himself as he looks at their old concert, beaming because of how his arm is pressed against Jimin’s, how Jimin’s leg is draped over his own.
It feels so surreal to be happy about a touch like this. Almost as if he’s 12 and finally holding hands with his crush. Yet he’s 27, and enjoying his best friend’s side pressing up against his own.
What a joke. All the other members would laugh at him.
“Woah, your old seven performances are something else.” Jimin comments at some point. “You were so shy on Hobi’s stage.”
“I was super nervous. I think I forgot how to perform.”
“No no, you did great.”
Jimin salutes him.
He salutes back.
“Unity.”
They say it at the same time.
It’s ridiculous, but they joke around like that for another few hours, just watching concert content and commenting on every small thing.
It’s comfortable and familiar. He’s so glad to not be alone in his house anymore.
More importantly, he’s glad that Jimin doesn’t move away. They’ve been lying against each other for hours, and not once has Jimin moved his leg off of him or put any distance between them.
Another win.
This is gonna be the best fucking sleep he’s ever had.
He’s giddy with it when Jimin gets a bit more sluggish, indicating that he’s getting tired.
Any moment now, he’s gonna ask to stay over.
“It’s 2 am already.” Jimin says, looking at his phone. “Forgot the time..”
Yes. Good.
This is going great.
“That late?”
He asks, tries to make the intent clear.
Stay over.
“Mm..” jimin nods, sits up then. “I should call a cab.”
Fuck.
He sits up too, watches with horror how Jimin types in the number of his driver.
“But- uh.. you could just sleep over hyung.”
“I know, but we just got back, I don’t want to take away from your alone time. You need it.”
Ah, Jimin and his overly caring personality.
Jeongguk bites the inside of his cheek.
“I don’t need alone time.”
“You just got back from sleeping in a unit with 7 others for like a year.”
“Yeah but.. that’s different.”
Jimin looks at him, raises a brow.
“What do you mean?”
“They’re not you. I’ve known you my whole life.”
It’s silent for a while, and then Jimin lowers his phone.
“Do you want me to stay over?”
Ah, how embarrassing.
“I’m- I’m just saying-“ He stutters. “I don’t mind sleeping next to you.”
“Yeah you don’t mind, but I can just go home, it’s not far?”
Jimin chuckles again, shakes his head as he brings his phone back up.
Jeongguk has no excuses left, so he just sighs.
“Okay I- I want you to stay over.”
Why is that so embarrassing to say? Asking his best friend over for a sleepover shouldn’t be this weird.
Jimin looks at him, studies his face, then laughs.
“Why are you so shy about it?”
“I’m not. It’s just weird since we just came back.”
“It’s not that weird, I’ve slept here before, remember?”
“Yeah I know, but like. You get what I mean, right?”
“Mm.” Jimin just hums, that easy smile still on his lips. “I’ll stay over then.”
“Okay.”
He nods, then casually stands up; or tries to be casual; he’s reeling on the inside.
“Let’s brush our teeth then.”
———————
Something about Jeongguk’s energy is so adorable today.
Jimin doesn’t know exactly what it is, but when they brush their teeth, Jeongguk keeps looking at him in the mirror and then looking away.
And when they change into pyjamas Jeongguk is all giddy to get in bed. As if they haven’t had a sleepover the past year and a half.
But he gets it, he’s been craving to be together like this ever since they got back too. Yes, it was nice to see his friends and family, but being alone in his house felt so empty and cold.
Luckily it seems like Jeongguk feels the exact same way. He should have known, since they’re always saying how they’re the exact same person. The “you are me I am you” agenda sometimes gets way too real.
He turns to lie on his side, looks at Jeongguk.
“It’s lonely, huh?”
Jeongguk turns to him, nods.
“Yeah.”
“I felt like this when we moved out of the dorm as well.”
“Really? I didn’t mind that, I liked getting my own place.”
Jimin snorts.
“I know, you and your 20 mattresses and 100 diffusers and candles.”
Jeongguk laughs.
“I don’t know, after 10 years I guess I liked having my own space.”
Jimin nods along but he doesn’t really feel the same. He’s got a house but it’s just a bunch of model furniture, he doesn’t spend much time there. Ever since he got it he’s just been at other people’s places or in the studio.
He’s not all that good being alone.
“You don’t like it, right?”
Jeongguk asks then, a softer edge to his tone.
For some reason he feels embarrassed, so he just shrugs.
“It’s fine.”
Maybe the thing is, that each and every one of them have made a home of their house; Jin has got a game room, Namjoon made a museum, Yoongi has a studio, Hoseok has the biggest walk-in closet, Taehyung has the most eccentric furniture, and Jeongguk’s got a karaoke machine and an entire bar downstairs.
He doesn’t really know what to put in his house to make it feel more personal. The members have always made him feel like home, he’s never really had anything he wanted to do more than spend time with them.
“Would you rather move in with any of us?”
Jimin blinks, feels even more embarrassed because he definitely would.
“I don’t know. I think I just need to get used to the silence. If I find a partner it would be weird if I didn’t have my own house.”
———————
A… partner?
Jeongguk has no idea why that sentence shakes him up so much, but he’s just staring at Jimin.
He hasn’t even thought about it in the military. Or even before that. But yeah, of course, Jimin will probably have a partner some day.
For some reason it doesn’t make sense in his head. Jimin spending time with someone else, getting home-cooked meals from someone else, sleeping with someone else, being in love.
He doesn’t recall Jimin even having a crush. Sure, he’s seen him flirt but.. he’s never seen him get all giggly and red and touchy with anyone, or tease someone so much just for a reaction, or laugh at someone’s jokes even if they’re not funny-
oh.
Except with him.
He burns up a little, looks at Jimin who in the meantime has grabbed his phone, just scrolling on it.
The idea of Jimin doing that with anyone else stirs something inside of him, it doesn’t feel good. That alone should probably be enough to not move closer, but he’s orchestrated this night specifically because he wants to cuddle, and no thoughts of partners and crushes is gonna stop him.
“What are you watching?”
He asks but he really doesn’t care, it’s all about pressing up against Jimin’s side.
“Just my messages.”
“Mm.”
He doesn’t even look, just drapes one of his legs over Jimin’s, swiftly, as if it’s normal.
Jimin puts his phone away then, turns to look at him.
He feels his heartbeat increase, doesn’t dare to say anything. Luckily Jimin doesn’t comment on him being this close, he just smiles, even caresses through his hair.
Oh yes, this is going great.
It tingles through his body when he feels Jimin’s fingers caress over his scalp. His touch is always so gentle, so easy. His eyelids sink, and he subtly curls his arm around Jimin’s waist as well.
Jimin chuckles.
“You look like a cat falling asleep.”
“Mm..”
He pretends he’s sleepier than he is. Truthfully, he’s wide awake.
“If you’re gonna snore in my ear or elbow my nose, don’t expect me to come back.”
He smiles against Jimin’s shoulder.
And then Jimin lifts his arms like he always does when he goes to sleep, and Jeongguk sees that as an invitation to plant his head right on Jimin’s arm.
“It’s gonna go numb like this, Jeongguk-ah.”
He opens his eyes, sees Jimin’s face so close to his own. Almost nose to nose.
His heart skips a beat.
He doesn’t dwell on why.
Jimin doesn’t push him away either.
He feels soft, smells so good, so familiar. He curls his hand around Jimin’s waist, pulls him a bit closer, moves his leg up so it’s draped over Jimin’s thighs.
Jimin keeps looking at him, a certain fondness in his gaze that makes him feel all fuzzy. He doesn’t even dare to make eye contact, just closes his eyes and pretends he didn’t hear what Jimin said.
“Are you ignoring me on purpose? I know you’re awake.”
———————
What is this brat being so cute for?
Jeongguk opens one eye, then closes it with a victory smile on his lips.
Jimin can’t help but laugh softly. He’s trapped by Jeongguk, can’t even move with that heavy head on his arm, both his arm and his leg draped around him.
And even though he knows his arm will go numb, he feels a warm, giddy feeling spread through his body. His cheeks hurt a bit from smiling, so he bites his lower lip.
Jeongguk looks so.. cute.
He knows it’s not normal, to feel like this because his best friend is cuddling him. But he can’t help it. It’s just so comforting, so warm, so perfect.
His heart is beating way too fast, he knows that’s not normal either. However, his and Jeongguk’s friendship has never been normal.
Not when he leans his cheek against the crown of Jeongguk’s head. Not when he caresses over Jeongguk’s arm that’s draped around him. Not when Jeongguk purrs a little because of his touch.
It’s a weird thing to explain.
He just loves Jeongguk. and it’s kind of a drag to have to choose if it’s platonic or romantic, because fundamentally, he just loves Jeongguk as a person.
———————
Why is Jimin’s touch not calming him down?
He’s been waiting for a week to finally cuddle Jimin and sleep like he’s never slept before.
However, Jimin’s head resting against his own, and the gentle caressing over his arm somehow makes his entire body buzz. Everything is tingling, nothing is calm, he feels his heartbeat in his throat.
For some reason, instead of sleepiness, he just feels nervous. He doesn’t know how to channel it, so he just caresses over Jimin’s waist, accidentally rides his shirt up a little, feels the heat of his skin under his fingertips for a second.
He stops in his tracks, tugs Jimin’s shirt down immediately.
“Sorry.”
“S’fine. I’m hot anyway.” Jimin mumbles softly. “Gonna take my shirt off.”
Jeongguk’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t even have a chance to object because Jimin just moves him off and takes off his shirt, throws it on the floor.
And it’s not weird, because Jimin usually sleeps in his underwear, Jeongguk has known that his entire life, but when Jimin lies back down he does take a few seconds to reconsider.
But Jimin just pats his arm, invites him to rest his head on it, so he does so without hesitation.
It’s just, when he curls his arm around Jimin this time, it’s all bare skin against him. And Jimin always heats up like a furnace before going to sleep.
He swallows, doesn’t feel relaxed at all. He doesn’t even know what he feels, it’s some sort of nervousness that he can’t place. But he doesn’t want to move away. In fact, he wants to be closer.
He pulls Jimin in by his waist, hitches his leg up even higher, until he finds the perfect spot. Something nice and soft presses against the inside of his thigh.
“Jeongguk-ah.”
“Yeah?”
“Your leg is lying on top of my dick.”
Oh.
He moves his leg down immediately, heat rushing up his neck.
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
Fuck, why is he so..
The same heat he recognises as embarrassment travels down his back too, but turns into something else. It’s different, slower, licks down his body, between his legs.
His dick twitches.
Oh..
Oh fuck..
Is that what it is?
Has this subconsciously been what he’s wanted all along?
He’s short of breath, fully aware how he’s glued to Jimin’s side, hyperaware of every part of them touching.
Oh god, what’s wrong with him? Can’t he tell the difference between friendship and romance? Have they been in the military for too long?
Jimin caresses through his hair, it’s supposed to be a loving gesture, but Jeongguk feels it tingle everywhere, feels a pressure on his chest, eyes glued to one spot on Jimin’s neck.
He doesn’t want to, but he keeps recalling softness of Jimin’s dick against his leg, and somehow feels himself grow harder by the second.
It’s so surreal he can’t believe it’s happening. He doesn’t want to believe it. After a decade of being around Jimin, after spending day and night with him in the military, his body suddenly betrays him.
He’s positive his entire body is burning, feels how damp his shirt is, sticking to his back, but he doesn’t even dare to move, afraid Jimin will find out exactly what’s happening.
———————
Jimin swallows, the temperature in the room is just..
No it’s actually Jeongguk’s body temperature. He can feel the heat against his side, that hot breath fanning against his neck.
He frowns, feels up Jeongguk’s shirt.
“Shouldn’t you take this off? You’re sweating.”
“Yeah- yeah, sorry.”
Jeongguk’s voice sounds kind of raspy.
Jimin accidentally looks when Jeongguk sits up and takes his shirt off. Even though he’s seen it almost every single day, for some reason he feels a little short of breath when he sees Jeongguk’s abs and pecs this time around.
He tries to find some sort of remark, something funny to say to break this tension, but he comes short of anything, and Jeongguk just crawls back against him, something about his expression is..
It’s hot.
The temperature.
Jeongguk’s bare upper body against his own.
Uncomfortably hot, even. Yet he doesn’t want him to leave. He feels it tingling everywhere, it’s addictive, and it’s got everything to do with them being this close.
He caresses through Jeongguk’s soft hair, loves the soft purring that fills the silence. That knowledge that he’s making Jeongguk feel good, even with a small touch like that, has his heartbeat picking up.
But it’s not just that, sadly. Even though he desperately wants to hold on to the idea that it’s really just a special friendship that they have, he knows it isn’t normal. Cuddling half naked in bed, it’s not normal at all.
Worse is, he can’t even deny the arousal that licks down his spine when Jeongguk grips his waist tighter in his warm hand, and buries his face even deeper into his neck.
He’s sweating. Everything feels hot. Time is going too slow. Nothing is relaxing, everything feels static.
This has never happened before. usually when they cuddle, it’s comforting, it’s nostalgic, they joke around and laugh and tease each other. It should feel like that, like a second nature.
It doesn’t.
Their bodies are pressed up against each other, sharing the heat, and it feels really good. It feels like everything is urging him to touch Jeongguk more, to feel him up under his hands. But that’s insane.
After years and years of friendship it doesn’t make any sense to feel this way. When did this happen?
Jeongguk moves his leg back up very slowly, rests it right on top of his semi-hard dick.
His eyes widen, and he holds his breath.
He just told Jeongguk not even a minute ago where his leg was positioned. So he knows Jeongguk knows what he’s doing.
Right?
Jeongguk knows. He must know.
He breathes in shakily, doesn’t dare to move an inch.
Hot breath fans against his neck, Jeongguk’s nose brushes along his jawline, fingers rub over his waist, not gentle but greedy, the slightest move of Jeongguk’s leg, like he’s trying to rub against his cock.
He moans.
It’s an accident.
Heat flares up his face immediately.
———————
Oh shit, he’s done it now.
A shiver runs down his spine when he hears that raspy moan. He can tell it’s an accident by the way Jimin goes rigid right after. But Jesus Christ does he sound good.
He’s never heard Jimin moan before, but it’s a bit lower and breathier than he thought it would be, and that somehow turns him on.
And he should move his leg off, pretend it was an accident, but he can feel Jimin grow hard against the inside of his thigh.
“Fuck, sorry.”
Jimin says, but he doesn’t move away, doesn’t push him off. He just stares at the ceiling, chest heaving.
Jeongguk knows he should stop before it gets out of hand, but the feeling of Jimin’s hard cock just pressing against his leg like this is.. it’s so hot. It’s so new, so different, and it’s a little bit wrong.
He doesn’t move.
Jimin doesn’t either.
Time passes slowly.
Jimin caresses through his hair, but it’s not gentle anymore, it’s aimless, like he needs to channel his nerves, pulling on the strands at the nape of his neck.
Jeongguk bites on his lower lip, squeezes Jimin’s waist in his hand, rubs over his side, leans in closer to his neck.
And then he moves his leg just a bit, just the slightest bit, feels up the length of Jimin’s cock.
“Mmh..”
Jimin moans again, softer this time, but it still sends a shiver down Jeongguk’s spine.
He can’t believe he’s doing this to his best friend, but his own dick twitches between his legs as a reminder that he really does want this. He wants to cross the line.
So he keeps moving his leg, just slightly, up and down the length of Jimin’s cock, until Jimin finally gives into it and cants his hips up.
Jeongguk’s jaw drops slightly, as he watches his best friend grab his thigh, and rut against it slowly, without any excuse. Jimin doesn’t even look at him, closes his eyes as if that somehow helps him escape reality.
But Jeongguk can’t, doesn’t want to. Jimin is using his leg to get off and he can feel it all so intensely. It’s so fucking hot, to feel Jimin’s dick rub against the inside of his thigh like that, to see him trying to find just the right pace, biting on his plush lower lip to hold his sounds.
Fuck.
Has Jimin always looked this hot?
He just watches for a while, can’t describe the feeling, but he’s sweating from tip to toe, his dick twitches against his stomach.
Soon enough Jimin’s entire upper body is glistening with an attractive layer of sweat, and he just marvels at it.
He leans in a little closer, knows he shouldn’t, but since they’re crossing the line anyway, he kisses Jimin’s neck. When he licks his lips he can taste the salt of his sweat, and god-
He kisses feverishly up the vein, reaches his jaw, and then Jimin whips his head towards him, lips parted, rough breaths falling from them.
There’s something akin to guilt in his eyes, like he wants to stop and apologise already, like he wants to go home and pretend it never even happened.
Jeongguk understands it like nothing else, they should stop right here and act like that was some drunk mistake.
Yeah.
He kisses Jimin.
soft, plush, warm lips feel illegal against his own.
The ease in which it goes down is probably a telling sign of how well they go together. When he tilts his head and opens his lips a little, Jimin slides his tongue into his mouth as if they’ve done this many times before.
He moans softly, cups the back of Jimin’s head, tastes soju on his tongue when he licks into Jimin’s mouth.
Should it be this natural?
He has the feeling there should be more resistance. Right about now Jimin should push him off and say something like we can’t do this, but Jimin gasps between kisses, fists his small hand in his hair and bites in his lower lip like he wants more.
And right about now he should break apart and look at Jimin with guilt in his eyes, tell him he’s sorry for taking advantage; but he doesn’t feel any guilt when he crawls on top of Jimin, and lifts his leg up with his knee so he can lie between them.
He can’t feel any hesitation in the way Jimin’s hands roam over his back, feel him up like he’s been wanting it for ages. And he doesn’t feel like stopping, even when he notices he’s positioning Jimin as if they’re going to fuck in missionary.
All the nerves he had before seem to have channeled into lust, and the way he swallows Jimin’s moans, there is a certain hunger behind it that must have been there for longer than he would like to admit.
Because it shouldn’t feel this normal, to undress Jimin. He shouldn’t be this eager to strip the clothes off of his best friend, to see Jimin’s cock slap against his stomach when he rids him of his boxers.
And Jimin shouldn’t look at him with that glaze over his siren eyes, that haze that just exudes lust. But Jeongguk can feel them burning a path along his skin as he strips himself until he’s naked. There’s no hint of shock, not even a smidge of guilt.
“Got- fuck, got lube?”
Jimin pants.
Jeongguk nods, grabs it wordlessly from his nightstand, squirts some on his fingers and then hooks one of Jimin’s slender legs around his shoulder, kisses the inside of his thigh.
He’s never done this before, yet he finds his way blindly between Jimin’s cheeks, rubs his index over his rim while he looks at Jimin’s expression.
His pretty eyes closed, lips parted, cheeks and nose red.
“Can I, hyung?”
“Mm..”
Jimin nods immediately, hooks his arms around his neck to pull him closer.
He slowly pushes one finger past the tight ring of muscle, can’t even help the moan that slips past his lips because Jimin is so hot on the inside, and so soft.
Of course he is, of course he would be.
He nudges Jimin’s nose with his own, just because he needs that eye contact. Even though he’s never done this before he wants to make sure it doesn’t hurt.
And Jimin has always been easy to read. His eyes speak of bliss when he curls his finger, so he keeps doing that, until he feels Jimin move his hips, indicating he’s ready for more.
God, he’s never seen Jimin like this, but it’s one of the prettiest sights he’s ever seen. He’s known Jimin all his life, has seen every single hardship he’s been through, he’s seen him laugh, seen him cry, seen him depressed, seen him fond, but he’s never seen him throw his head back in pleasure before.
It feels somewhat unreal, he can’t stop staring. When he pushes a second finger inside, Jimin moans so prettily that he can feel his own dick twitch.
It’s all hot and wet, makes a squelching sound as he thrusts his fingers in deep, curls them upwards.
“Ah, Jeon- Jeongguk..”
“‘Mh?”
Jimin shakes his head, but closes the distance right after.
He tries to kiss Jimin slow, but Jimin is desperate for it. The way he slots their lips together, licks into his mouth, sucks on his tongue all just adds to the need Jeongguk feels inside.
His cheeks glow with it as he pushes a third finger against Jimin’s rim, too soon, too eager.
Jimin nods though, he’s just as impatient. Maybe that’s why they work so well together.
It’s like they understand each other without having to say a thing. When he fingers Jimin open, he can read even the slightest expression on his face, knows when it’s too rough, when it’s too fast, and especially when it’s just right.
Because when he rubs against a certain spot, Jimin gasps and moans in a sinful way, nods a few times as if to say keep doing that.
And there’s nothing he loves more than making Jimin feel good; he finds out. Because there is an overwhelming sense of pleasure seeing Jimin’s leg start to shake around his shoulder, to hear his moans turn from low and breathy to high and needy, to see his eyes roll back.
“Fuck- gonna come.”
Jimin pants, curling a hand around his own cock, jerking off at the same rhythm he’s thrusting his fingers inside.
He bites the inside of Jimin’s knee, just to make him look at him.
Because that’s it, that’s the look he doesn’t want to miss, he can see the moment Jimin’s orgasm hits, can see it in his eyes before it happens.
“Aah!”
It’s beautiful. Jimin clenches around his fingers, come shoots over his stomach, and he moans so loud that Jeongguk is sure he’ll get a noise complaint from his neighbours.
He moans softly, kisses the inside of Jimin’s knee, massages that spot inside of him until he feels Jimin’s body tremble in overstimulation.
“Fuck, Jeongguk-ah..”
“Mmh?”
Warmth spreads through his body just hearing his name fall from Jimin’s lips like that. He can’t believe he just made him come.
The guilt still doesn’t hit, and it doesn’t seem like Jimin is having trouble accepting what just happened either, because he just pulls him in for a kiss.
It’s hot, tastes like sweat, Jimin caresses through his hair, moans into his mouth like he’s still experiencing the aftermath of his orgasm.
Jeongguk slowly slips his fingers out, breaks the kiss after a minute to catch his breath.
Jimin’s got a deep blush on his cheeks, a glow to his skin, a softness to his gaze when he looks at him. He’s still out of breath, hair a mess, lips a pretty shade of pink.
God, what a beautiful man.
Jeongguk swallows as he sits back on his knees, his cock standing up straight against his stomach. He wraps his hand around it, fingers still wet with lube, strokes it a few times.
Jimin doesn’t even hide that he’s watching.
Maybe he should feel embarrassed, but there’s something kind of hot about Jimin just looking at him jerk off. He licks his lips, spits in his hand and brings it back down, does it for that gasp, the way Jimin’s eyes widen.
He’s not even that much bigger than Jimin, but the way Jimin can’t keep his eyes off strokes his ego just right. He moans softly, rubs his thumb over the head. It seems Jimin likes that too, if the way he bites his lower lip is any indication.
He stops then, and this time hooks both of Jimin’s legs over his shoulders.
There it is, the slightest bit of hesitance. What a moment to show up. He’s already fingered Jimin without any prior knowledge, already made him come, but now when he aligns the head of his cock with Jimin’s rim he’s suddenly feeling unsure.
As if Jimin can sense it, he gives him a nod, breathes out an “I want it.”
the hesitance dissipates immediately, and just like their first kiss, it feels as if everything falls into place the second Jimin’s rim kisses the head of his cock.
He thinks their bodies were made for each other, that’s the only explanation. There’s no way it should be this easy. A moan slips past his lips as he pushes the head of his cock past Jimin’s rim. It’s all without much resistance, that tight heat just sucks him right in until every inch of him is inside.
He gasps softly, looks at Jimin to make sure it doesn’t hurt, but Jimin looks like he’s in absolute bliss; head thrown back, mouth opened, eyes closed, guttural moan falling from his lips.
Oh fuck that’s hot.
He knows he should take it easy but there’s a magnetic force that drives him to move his hips.
And had he known Jimin would feel like this, he might have tried it way earlier. Hell, he might have found some faraway corner in the military for even just the tip. Because Jimin is not only tight but so fucking soft inside too, he can feel it around his cock, enveloping him.
His jaw drops, and he curls both his hands around Jimin’s thighs, looks down to imprint the sight on his retina. The way Jimin takes his dick inch by inch, until he’s filled to the brim.
Fuck..
It’s hot in a sexual sense, but when he looks up to see Jimin look right at him, that’s what really turns him on.
His cheeks burn up, and he crawls closer, needs to be closer. It’s a bit clumsy, he’s not even sure if this position is normal, but he wants to be as close as physically possible.
Jimin chuckles, it’s warm, comforting.
“Eager?”
“Mm.”
He nods, only slightly embarrassed.
Jimin caresses through his hair, pecks his lips once.
Somehow, even though they were just making out a few minutes ago, he feels his heart skip a beat at the gesture. He didn’t think Jimin would turn him into an absolute loser, but here he is, deep inside of him, blushing because of a peck on the lips and the gentle caress of his fingers.
“You look a bit like a puppy.”
Jimin says.
He believes it immediately, but somehow he can’t find his voice. Might be the way Jimin’s rim clenches around his cock.
“Didn’t think you invited me over for this.” Jimin looks down between their bodies, then back up. “Could have told me.”
“I- I didn’t know either.” He says quickly, shame licking at his face. “I promise I didn’t- this wasn’t planned or-“
Jimin laughs softly.
“I know, you’re just cute when you’re flustered.”
Oh.
He pokes his tongue in his cheek, but that smile Jimin gives him completely melts him anyway.
He doesn’t even know what to say in this moment. Doesn’t think he really needs to say anything, because Jimin’s expression is enough. There’s nothing to apologise for, nothing to feel bad for; it’s clear they both want this.
So he doesn’t hesitate when he rolls his hips, thrusting into Jimin slowly.
“Okay?”
He asks, just to make sure.
“Mmh.”
Jimin nods.
That’s all he needs, because as soon as he gets that confirmation his mind shuts off, and it’s all just warmth and pleasure.
There’s nothing rough about it; he’s not trying to haphazardly get off in some corner of a set. Nor is he doing it to get the edge off. But it isn’t slow and sensual either, it’s more or less a combination of both.
There is a smidge of desperation to it, since it’s their first time, and it’s probably been something he’s tried to repress for a long time, and yet because he’s known Jimin so long it’s also familiar and warm.
Because when he rolls his hips it feels like heaven, and Jimin lifts his body just a bit to meet his thrusts. There is a wordless understanding, their bodies fit together so well that he doesn’t even have to coordinate what to do with his limbs. They find each other blindly; Jimin’s arms around him, Jimin’s lips against his own, it’s all just right.
“Mmh.”
It could be just because they’ve known each other their whole lives; or maybe it’s just that they like the same things, but he loves the needy way in which Jimin kisses him. He loves it just as much as how Jimin moves back on his cock, tries to make him pick up the pace.
Sweat trickles down his back as his hips snap against Jimin’s, a crease between his brows as he tries to find the right angle.
Jimin moans into his mouth, pulls on his hair a little harshly, but Jeongguk finds out he kind of likes that on the spot.
He likes it when Jimin pulls his hair; and when his nails dig into his back, and when he groans and bites on his lower lip. It encourages him to fuck Jimin better, to move his hips more sensually, to thrust into him deeper; until finally-
“A-ah! Yes, fuck-“
Jimin fists his hand in his hair, looks into his eyes with a clear message; don’t stop
And if anything, he’s always been an overachiever.
He keeps looking into Jimin’s eyes as he rams his hips forward, aiming for that spot every single time. It’s hot, because he’s never really able to fluster Jimin that much on a daily, but like this, he can see him shy away from his gaze.
A grin pulls on his lips, he can’t help it. He’s got a little bit of a thing for it, seeing Jimin give into him.
But the grin soon gets wiped from his lips because he can feel heat accumulating in his gut; and Jimin is clenching around his dick so good that he’s not going to last much longer.
So he slows down the slightest bit, leans closer to kiss over Jimin’s neck, up to his cheek.
“Feel good, hyung?”
“Yeah- fuck, so good.”
Jimin pants, tilting his head, searching for his lips.
Jeongguk closes the distance again, can’t deny Jimin anything.
It’s a slow kiss; makes him slow down the pace even more. Jimin licks languidly into his mouth, caresses through his hair softly, right behind his ear. He moans, gives into it, licks over Jimin’s tongue as he pulls almost all the way out, then slowly thrusts deep inside.
So warm, so wet.
His cock twitches, and Jimin groans, clenches around it as if to squeeze around his length.
“Ngh- fuck, I’m close.”
He pants, blinking his eyes open to see Jimin look right at him.
Fuck, he wants to keep going, keep this slow pace up all night. However, Jimin’s legs shake in his hands, he’s probably nearing his orgasm too.
“Is- is it okay if I..”
He stops mid-sentence, too embarrassed to ask.
Jimin tilts his head, doesn’t seem to understand until his eyes widen.
“Oh.. yes.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
Jimin nods eagerly, gyrates his hips a bit, fucking himself on his cock.
For some reason, he hadn’t thought Jimin would say yes, so to see him want it this bad sends a thrill down his spine.
“Oh- okay- okay, fuck.”
Nerves return little by little. With this slow pace, he can see every emotion flash in Jimin’s eyes. And the desire, he can deal with it, but that what lies behind it, even deeper, even more visceral, it’s making him breathless.
It’s definitely love.
Undeniably so.
Even though he knows Jimin loves him; to see it so clearly, so up close, while he is inside of him..
A moan slips past his lips, and he feels it deep in his gut. He chases that pleasure, picks up the pace just a bit, nudging Jimin’s nose with his own, breathing in the same air.
“I love you, you know that right?”
He says on an exhale.
Didn’t think he’d be the first to confess.
It’s worth it though, seeing Jimin’s eyes go wide, and then roll back when he finally hits the spot.
“A-ah- fuck- I lo- I love you- too-“
Jimin comes while he says it; throws his head back into the pillow.
Jeongguk gasps, feels Jimin clench around him, and with a few more thrusts he finally comes. His entire body goes taut, pleasure spreading from his gut to everywhere in his body.
He finds Jimin’s lips in the midst of it, even though he can barely kiss while he’s coming, he just wants to be as close as physically possible. Every part of them needs to be connected.
Jimin moans into his mouth, unable to kiss back at all but he pulls him closer nonetheless, probably with the same idea.
Jeongguk rides out his orgasm, thrusting into Jimin slowly, but for the way his hips stutter with every aftershock.
And then finally, bliss takes over, and he finds himself smiling, completely exhausted as he collapses on top of Jimin.
He doesn’t know how long they stay like that, but it feels like quite some time passes before Jimin moves them into more comfortable positions, on their sides.
He blinks his eyes open, looks at Jimin. He expects it, the post-nut clarity, the realisation, the guilt. Nothing of that comes. It’s just the comfortable caress through his hair, and the comforting smile on Jimin’s full lips.
Maybe this was meant to happen all along.
He pulls Jimin closer by his waist, still feels that need to be pressed up against him. Nose to nose.
Can’t believe he just wanted to cuddle less than an hour ago.
There’s nothing much to say really, or maybe there is, but he can’t find the words at all. The ease of being this close, having Jimin in his arms, it feels like no words are needed.
So when Jimin kisses him, he closes his eyes and kisses back; already familiar with those lips.
Minutes pass; an hour passes.
“Move in with me?”
He asks.
Jimin looks at him, from one eye to the other, and just smiles.
“Okay.”
That’s how easy it goes between them; he almost doesn’t have to ask and Jimin already agrees.
Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat, and he closes the distance again.