Chapter Text
It hurts.
It hurts.
It hurts.
It hurts.
It hurts.
It hurts.
It really really reaally hurts!
But there was no pain.
She could feel it scratching, thrashing, and wriggling around. She knew it was trying to get somewhere but she knew not where.
Is this how he felt ever time? Did he always feel this way? Did it ever go away.
He had six of them now, didn’t he? Was it six times worse for him?
She grit her teeth and shut her eyes as she focused on it as hard as she could, not because she wanted to, but because she had to. Something deep within her was screaming at her, urging her with all its might to keep focusing on it, pinning it with all of hers.
Yet what was it?
What was it?
What even was her?
Was she it? Was it her?
Was she it and it?
Was there something else that needed to be added to the two to make up her?
Emilia felt her mind twist itself into a knot; one that looked like a pretzel.
She’d lost it.
Now there was just her. She couldn’t see anything, nor could she feel anything. She was just floating, drifting through nothing with her eyes clamped shut. She did want to open them, but she couldn’t, it felt like she’d forgotten how.
Inside her she couldn’t feel much either.
Her stomach was there, she knew it was, but since she wasn’t hungry it made not the slightest peep.
Her lungs were there too, and she could feel the air slowly drifting into and out of them. She could feel its warmth, but still she wholeheartedly believed she could not feel.
Even with the scorching sun blaring down on her, slowly roasting her skin, Emilia wholeheartedly believed she felt absolutely nothing.
That was because her heart felt empty.
She strove to become queen, to sit on the throne so that she may save the people she entombed and bring fairness to the kingdom; yet her heart beat with neither anticipation nor determination. It was as if her mind simply demanded it of her. She must do what was right.
She had a circle of friends. She loved to see their faces and hear their voices. Just how long had she believed the only expressions she would see would be fear and hatred?
Right now though, not a single thing stirred within her when their smiles flashed in-front of her eyes, or as their voices sang in her ears.
She was loved, but her heart did not...
Her heart did beat.
“Emilia!” A voice called, one from far beyond the opaque void that surrounded her.
“Emilia!” It echoed out again.
It was the voice of the one who had once saved her, the one who had held her and told her that everything would be okay, the one who had helped her up and given her the strength to face the world that she had grown too scared to stand amidst.
“Emilia, please wake up!” It cried, its owner anguished.
He was hurting, she could feel his hands trembling as he held her. He was crying, she could feel his tears dampen her cheeks.
She wanted to tell him that everything would be okay, that there was no need to cry. She needed to be there for him like he had for her.
Her heart suddenly felt so full that she thought it was about to burst; pounding away in her chest with such vigour that her whole body was suddenly full of strength.
Slowly but surely, she managed to force her eyes open. An act that drained every last drop of vigour from her flesh.
It was worth it though, because there, perfectly framed with the sun behind his head was the person she wanted to see most. Natsuki Subaru.
On his face all she saw now was relief, and in his eyes, affection.
“I’m okay Subaru,” she said as she raised a tired arm to his cheek and wiped away the tears with her thumb.
“Emilia.” He said, this time with a voice so tender that it betrayed how battered he looked. Bruises and cuts covered him, blood dyed his clothes and seeped from the corners of his mouth. She could even feel his blood soaking into her clothes and wetting her back. Blood from the two big gashes on his hands, the wounds he had gotten from grasping the broken blade of a sword and driving it into Satella’s back.
Had it been any other time she would have shouted at him, lectured him about pushing himself too far and trying to do too much. She would have struggled against the guilt of why he had willingly done so as she healed him. Right now though, she would do no such thing.
The exhaustion deadened her limbs and dulled the pain from her own wounds just as her beating heart made her decision. She would forgive him, she loved him.
“Emilia, why’d you do it?” He asked, his voice wracked with guilt. Despite that, she loved hearing it.
“I can’t let you take all the burden.” She croaked from her sand-filled throat, doing her best to smile.
“It was my burden to bare...” He said as his voice suddenly filled with anguish and anxiety.
“I decided to share it.” She said resolutely, sending a single butterfly fluttering within her.
Subaru said nothing in response, she watched his lips curve up into a meagre smile as he pulled her tight against his chest. She could hear his heartbeat.
Thump Thump Thump
It made her feel at-ease and safe. She wanted to stay like this forever. Letting her tired eyelids slide shut, she whispered “meanie” as loud as she could.
“I know I’m a big meanie.” He said as the tenderness returned to his voice.
“You really~ are.” She cooed as sleep took her once more. This time though, a smile remained painted on her face.
A gentle bump stirred her from her dreamless slumber and caused her to open her eyes instinctively. She was in a dragon carriage, lying on one of the benches. That was, all of her except for her head.
Her head was in Subaru’s lap.
His thigh lacked the softness of the bench’s cushion; it was also too warm to wick the heat away from her body. Yet despite that, she greatly preferred it. She liked being near him, touching him, getting to feel the warmth of his body. She now knew why he liked resting in her lap so much.
The exhaustion that made her body feel unbearably heavy was far from gone and she was not the least bit surprised by that. She’d given her all in the fight, pushing herself to her utter limit and beyond, going so far as to use up ever last bit of mana she had. Before even considering how badly she was aching, Emilia had little confidence that she could even stand on her own right now.
Looking around the inside of the carriage, she saw Roswaal sitting opposite to her with Ram lying on his lap in a similar position to her. Both of them had their eyes closed. They were resting just like she had been,
Turning her head a bit, Emilia caught a glimpse of Beatrice leaned up against Subaru’s shoulder. Even though Spirits didn’t really sleep in the same sense that people did, Beatrice had her eyes closed. No doubt the little girl was in a similar state to herself when it came to mana.
Looking at Subaru’s hands, Emilia could see that they were wrapped up in bloodstained bandages. Nobody among them had the energy or the mana to heal anything that wasn’t life threatening. Right now Emilia wasn’t even in the right shape to ask the lesser spirits to help. She still felt woozy from taking a stray hit to the head.
She could only imagine that the others who had come with them; Frederica, Garfiel, Rem, Petra, Meili, and Otto were not that much better off. Though she could not see them on account that they were either driving her carriage or in the other one, she had seen how hard they had fought and therefore knew that they must be really, really tired right now.
Slowly and painstakingly, Emilia rolled onto her back so that she was looking straight up at Subaru. A lot had happened since they’d met all those years ago, and there wasn’t that much time left. There was only a couple of months before the Royal Selection finished after all.
What was going to happen if she won? What about if she lost? They’d been through a lot together, endured many hardships and shared in many accomplishments, but would he still be by her side?
Years ago he’d told her that he loved her and for a long, long time she hadn’t known how to properly respond. She cared about him and liked to be around him, but until recently she hadn’t properly understood what it meant to love someone.
Now though, things were different. She knew that love wasn’t just wanting to be around someone, it wasn’t just the feeling of happiness when they popped into view. It wasn’t the strange feeling she got when she was pressed tightly against him or the strange thoughts that sometimes popped into her head at night. It wasn’t even the pain she felt when he was sad or hurt, nor the joy that came with seeing him happy.
It was simultaneously all of those things at the same time and none of them. It was the realization and acceptance that they were not two separate people but one person separated by something barely tangible.
Subaru had become part of her, half of her heart and a central pillar that formed a portion of her very being. She knew that she needed him in her life and that she would fall apart if they couldn’t be together, and despite the gravity of such a statement, it made Emilia so happy that she struggled to keep her composure.
It was precisely that joy that provoked such anxiety in her. What if she won the Royal Selection but Subaru needed to go home? He came from a place that was really, really far away and though he never told her how long it took for him to get here, she could easily imagine it being a journey that took many months.
She would have to live without him for so long, she would have to pretend to be okay with him going. She couldn’t keep him from the family he hadn’t seen in years, she couldn’t make him suffer like that because she knew he wouldn’t go to them if he thought it would make her upset.
It would be so much easier if she lost, she could just go with him.
Emilia suddenly caught herself. Why was she hoping that she wouldn’t win the Royal Selection?
Just then, the carriage came to a stop with enough of a jolt to rouse everyone else.
“We’re back already...” Subaru mumbled as he rubbed his eyes.
“It appears so~” Roswaal said as he opened his own exhausted looking eyes.
“Betty just wants to lay down in fact.” Beatrice said whilst imitating Subaru.
“I’m happy to be back.” Emilia said before trying to sit up only for a sharp pain to surge through her midsection and end the attempt.
“Emilia?!” Subaru urgently called her name as his gaze snapped right to her.
“I’m okay, I just might need a little help getting up.” She said with an uneasy smile plastered across her face. Even she couldn’t believe what she was saying.
“Emilia-tan, you did a lot today. I can carry you in.” Subaru said, the urgency fading from his voice.
“But you’re probably really tied too...” She said.
“And I’m going to sleep like a baby tonight! Right now though I’ve still got enough gas in the tank to carry you for a bit. Just think of it as my reward for working so hard today.” Subaru said as he broke into a rather smug smile.
“Don’t babies cry alot? And what does gaas in thuh tahnk mean?” Emilia said as she suddenly felt very confused. Maybe she had hit her head harder than she first thought...
“Just figures of speech.” Subaru said as he put a hand behind her back and another under her knees.
“Okie.” She said before nestling herself against his chest as he lifted her up. She felt really comfortable.
“Are you going to be okay Beako?”
“For now I suppose. Betty will need her Subaru to make this up to her later, in fact.” Beatrice said as she got off the bench. A second later everyone’s attention was drawn to the source of a rather tired chuckle.
“Roswaal?” Emilia called the name of it’s source as she looked at the magician. He had just stood up with the still sleeping Ram in his arms.
“Even after everything that’s happened~ today, Subaru-kun still has a lot going on.” Roswaal said sound both tired and amused. The margrave then stepped out of the carriage as the door was opened for him.
Cradled in Subaru’s arms, the two departed the carriage right behind Beatrice. This brought them face-to-face with the one holding the door, Rem.
For as long as Emilia had known her, Rem had always been put together and transparent in exactly the way she wished to be. Always dressed in a wrinkle-less and perfectly adjusted uniform. Always attacking her work with gusto and precision. Rem was the very definition of a perfect maid.
Even when she held you in contempt or simply didn’t care about you in the slightest, she managed to convey those feelings without leaving the bounds of what was acceptable. Now though, Emilia could tell that she was really struggling.
Her clothes were tattered and besmirched with dirt, her hair an unkempt mess that looked like she had tried to pat it down only a moment ago. What really stood out though were her eyes. Emilia couldn’t remember the last time she had seen Rem this exhausted. She couldn’t even remember the last time she saw Rem looking tired. The girl always seemed to have infinite energy.
“You look like you need to hit the hay Rem.” Subaru said with a hint of concern in his voice as Rem’s eyelids nearly fluttered shut. She looked so tired that she was practically swaying in place.
“Rem is wide awake...” Rem said as her head nodded forward before she jolted upright. At most her eyes were half-open.
“Rem is wide awake in dreamland.” Subaru said with a bit of a chuckle as Rem broke into a pout. “I can handle making dinner if you need a quick nap.” Subaru added as Emilia felt her mood drop.
Subaru had work to do and she was in too rough a state to do anything but lay in bed. He was going to leave her in her room and then go off. She wanted to stay with him longer.
“Rem can handle dinner. Subaru-kun needs to tend to Emilia-sama.” Rem said as she looked down at Emilia with a small, tired smile. Before Emilia knew what she was doing, she was smiling back.
“Emilia-tan needs her rest, and I can’t leave everything to you. I got off easy today.” Subaru said as Emilia felt any vigour in her smile drain from her face. She pressed herself a little harder into Subaru’s chest.
“Then Rem will be in your care.” The maid said as a little bit of happiness pierced the veil of exhaustion shrouding her eyes.
“I’ll see you in the kitchen, just a little more of today left to power through!” Subaru said before heading into the mansion with a skip in his step.
“Betty doesn’t understand how you can be this energetic still, in fact.” Beatrice said as she continued to walk beside them.
“It’s called faking it till you make it!” Subaru said as Emilia looked up at him. Despite the big and energetic smile plastered across his face, she could see the truth in his eyes. Like all of them Subaru was completely exhausted.
“Subaru?” She called his name and not a moment later, he was looking right at her. Emilia could feel her heart flutter a tiny bit.
“Yes Emilia-tan?”
“Nothing...I just wanted to say your name.” She said before dropping her gaze and leaning her head back against his chest.
“You can say my name all you want Emilia-tan!”
“Okie-dokie!” She said, feeling happier now. She was starting to enjoy being carried around by Subaru. Unfortunately, it took a mere moment to arrive in her room. It was time to say goodbye.
Subaru seemed to think so as well, for he did not immediatly place her atop her bed. Instead he just stood next to it, still holding her in his arms. With her head against his chest, she could hear his heart beginning to beat just a bit faster.
“Betty will meet you in the kitchen, I suppose.” Beatrice said before quietly slinking out of the room, even being courteous enough to close the door behind her. Leaving the two in silence. Then, something wet landed right on her cheek.
Emilia’s gaze shot up immediately, and only then did she realize that Subaru was crying.
“Emilia...why’d you do it...” Subaru said through gritted teeth, clearly doing everything he could to retain whatever shred of composure he had left.
In that moment, Emilia couldn’t think of a single thing to say.
“Why Emilia...everything would’ve worked out if you had just left it to me...” Subaru said as more and more tears poured out of his eyes. His words were sharp enough that they pricked a tiny hole in her heart and released emotion as dense and mired as sludge.
A painful anger swirled up within her, goading her to shout at him, to whip the crying boy with her words. His insistence that she had done something that she couldn’t handle was infuriating. She wasn’t some doll on a shelf but his equal. Unless she shared in his burdens as he did hers then she would be doing little more then putting on airs.
Yet bound to that anger by the pain was sadness, borne of recollection and the simple fact that she knew him just as well as she knew herself. When she looked up at his crying eyes and listened to his teary voice, she neither saw nor heard chastisement but fear. Right now, Natsuki Subaru was terrified.
“Subaru, can you put me down.” Though phrased like a question, she knew that Subaru would do exactly what she asked; which he did.
Gingerly, Subaru walked the last few steps across the room and placed her down on her bed, leaving him standing in the middle of the room, desperately trying to wipe the tears seeping from his eyes.
Emilia patted the bed beside her, Subaru froze, staring at her.
“Come closer, my throat’s all aweary.” She said, feeling a tinge of guilt in the pit of her stomach. Between it and seeing how sad Subaru was over her choice, she couldn’t enjoy him laying next to her.
At first Subaru was lying right on the edge of the bed, as far away from her as could be. By urging her drained muscles on-wards and pushing through the pain, Emilia slowly inched herself closer until their noses were practically touching.
His face filled her vision. She could clearly see the scrapes and bruises from earlier today, how his eyes were starting to turn red and puffy from crying, even the red blood vessels in his eyes from how tired he must be. All she could see was him and Emilia knew that all he could see was her.
She didn’t need him to see her right now though, she needed him to hear her.
She slide just a bit closer and brought their forheads together. Emilia let her eyes close.
“Subaru,” she called his name as softly as she could, letting it slide across her tongue and fall out of her lips. With nothing but moonlight pouring into the silent room, it seemed to hang in the air. “You’ve saved me so many times, and I’ve seen you save other’s many more; but Subaru, I’ve never seen you save yourself.”
The very moment her words reached him, Emilia felt Subaru’s body go stiff as he took in a sharp breath. She draped a weak arm over him and slid another one under his neck, pulling him into the best hug she could manage right now.
“I know that you have nightmares Subaru... I know what you do to your arms when you think nobody is looking.” Though her own words may have cut her like knives as she spoke, Emilia pushed down on the emotions dwelling within her, keeping her voice calm and soothing. Right now was a moment she needed to be strong.
“You may not realize it, but you’re starting to break Subaru. You’re really~ strong and kind, you’ve been swallowing your own pain for so long that you might not even notice it anymore.”
“That’s not it Emilia... I just know how much I can take. Neither of us know what’ll happen to you now but we know what would happen to me.”
“We don’t know either. This one might’ve been the one that broke you...” Emilia said as her voice suddenly grew pained while the desire to start crying welled up right behind her eyes. She suppressed it though. “Subaru, you might not be on your own list of people to save, but your the first one on mine.”
“What if just one is enough to break you...” Subaru asked, his voice still dripping with melancholy.
“Then you’ll have to help put me back together.”
“What if I can’t?”
“I know you can. We’re partners, we have been since the day we met in the Loot House. When you fall down, I help you get back up and when I fall down you help me. That’s what partners do.” Emilia said as she felt a smile spread across her face. Though she couldn’t see Subaru’s, she could feel that he’d stopped crying.
A moment later, Emilia could feel Subaru’s arms wrap her into a tight hug, finally returning her embrace. They stayed like that for several long moments. All the while, a certain desire began to smoulder to life within her.
“Subaru,” she called his name as she pulled her head back just a tiny bit and opened her eyes. Her heart was beginning to pound in her chest as her stomach filled with prickly anxiety. It was time to do something she should’ve long ago.
“Yes Emilia-tan?” Subaru said as she looked right into his now open eyes. The same pair of eyes that had always been right next to her, supporting her no matter how hard things got.
“I love you.” She said right before locking her lips with his.
Subaru’s mind had gone completely and utterly blank, unable to comprehend what had just happened and what was currently happening. Emilia had just told him that she loved him, she was presently kissing him. It wasn’t like before, she wasn’t just allowing him to kiss her. She had taken the initiative and gone on an all out romantic offensive.
His head had gone all fuzzy, reduced to pudding by the assault of senses assailing him; Subaru’s body was operating on pure autopilot, returning every bit of affection that was being lavished upon him.
Locked together in a tight embrace, lips pressed together aside from brief pauses to allow for the tiniest gasps of breath. Subaru was simultaneously so absorbed in the moment that he was aware of nothing else, and so overwhelmed that reality itself didn’t seem real. He felt like he was in a fever dream.
Precisely because he felt like he was in a fever dream, Subaru failed to notice that their shared cadence gradually grew lethargic. Slowing further and further as each kiss grew lazier than the last. Eventually all Subaru could feel was Emilia’s face pressed against his, the tickle of her rythmic breathing, and the soothing touch of her arms wrapped around him.
Despite this, Suabru didn’t do anything. He lay still, ceasing to kiss her as she had stopped kissing him. His heart still pounded in his chest all the while radiating pure joy. With the respite granted to him, Subaru said a single thing to himself, “right now’s the happiest moment of my life.”
By telling himself that, he could push down the other emotion bubbling up within him.
Natsuki Subaru wanted nothing more than to stay exactly where he was. If he could do so, he would freeze time and let the moment stretch on forever.
Emilia was perfectly calm and at peace, laying in his embrace so angelically that it seemed like she was sleeping, there wasn’t so much as a single shred of tension in her muscles. He loved her and wished she could live the rest of her life in such tranquility.
He loved her and would do anything to put a smile on her face, which was precisely the reason why Subaru finally pulled away from her and opened his eyes. What he saw didn’t surprise him in the slightest.
Emilia was lying on her side, eyes shut, and mouth partially open like she was about to go in for another kiss. Her breathing was gentle and her body still. She’d fallen asleep.
Subaru wanted to chuckle at the absurdity of it, but he didn’t.
“You worked really hard today, didn’t you?” He said quietly, as not to wake her; all the while he had a tender smile on his face.
Gingerly he got off the bed and slipped out of the room.
Aside from maybe Petra, Subaru was in the best shape right now of everyone in the camp, and here he’d been, being greedy with Emilia-tan instead of taking care of everyone.
“If everyone wasn’t so tired, I’d almost certainly get a lecture from someone.” He jokingly thought to himself. He’d work twice as hard to make up for it by preparing a delicious meal for everyone.
These thoughts kept a smile on Subaru’s face as he walked through the empty corridors of the Mather’s mansion. It was so silent that one could easily be mistaken to believe that it was deserted despite that most definitely not being the case.
Making his way to the ground floor, Subaru eventually arrived in the kitchen. Upon entering, the gazes of both Beatrice and Rem found their way to him.
“Betty didn’t think she would see you until tomorrow morning in-fact.”
“Beatrice-sama!”
Beatrice’s words immediately sent Subaru back to mere moments ago. He could feel himself growing hot and red as the vivid memories of making out with Emilia in her bed vividly overtaking him.
“Subaru-kun!” Rem said as her cheeks instantly blushed, her hands flying up to cover her mouth. At the same instant Beatrice was struck completely silent, her mouth hanging slightly agape as she stared at Subaru with wide eyes.
It was a rather cliche moment, a clear misunderstanding that left him wanting to calm their worries; they were both clearly thinking that things had gone farther than it actually had. Unfortunately, the combination of being confessed to and so passionately kissed by Emilia had left him rather tounge tied.
“Is-is Betty going to be babysitting soon?!” Beatrice suddenly stammered out while averting her eyes and twidling her thumbs. For the absolute briefest of instances, Subaru had a very explicit image flash before his eyes.
“No, no, no!” Subaru cried out. “...It’s just that Emilia confessed to me...” He added after a delay, suddenly feeling himself unable to look at either of them in the eyes.
“Subaru-kun must be feeling really happy then!” Rem said, and when Subaru looked up he could see the genuine smile plastered across her face.
“Yeah, I’m still struggling to process it all. It’s kinda unbelievable that it happened after so long.” Subaru said, smiling back at her.
He still remembered what Rem had said to him back in the capital all the years ago. He had been falling apart and hurtling towards rock bottom; she had rejected him, confessed to him, and then told him all the things she liked about him until he was able to get up and reject her too.
Subaru still cared about Rem, he wanted her to be happy and despite her being genuinely happy for him, he didn’t want to dwell on the topic lest it bring anguish to her heart.
Striding over to a stool, Subaru took a seat like the other two. However, from the corner of his eye he caught sight of Beatrice; the look on her face was far from a happy one.
Taking a seat, Subaru turned back to them. He would have to remember to speak to Beatrice about what was bothering her, he’d wait until they went to bed. Now simply wasn’t the time.
Firstly, Subaru looked to Beatrice, who was presently sitting on a stool next to him while kicking her feet and looking at the ceiling. Rem on the other hand was sitting on a chair next to a table; her head was propped on her hands. She looked absolutely exhausted.
“Now that Betty’s contractor is here, we should probably get to work. Betty wants to go to bed, I suppose.”
“I apologize Beatrice-sama. Rem is just having some trouble thinking straight right now.” Rem said as her expression suddenly grew rather frail. She pushed herself to her feet before beginning to look around the kitchen, appearing rather lost.
“I think we can just throw something together today. Everyone’s probably too tired to care.” Subaru added as he stood up and walked over beside Rem, he could hear Beatrice walking a step behind him.
“Soup might be good then. The prep work is simple and we have bread we can serve with it.” Rem said with a hand on her chin.
“Good idea Rem. I’ll start cutting the vegetables!” Subaru said, flashing the blue haired maid with a big smile and a thumbs up. The sight of the corner of her mouth turning up brought sincere joy to his heart.
“Seeing Subaru-kun’s beaming smile has re-energized Rem!” She said whilst striking a pose with her hands on her hips. Rem then marched off towards the cold room where they kept the meat.
“Are you going to cheer us on Beako?” Subaru said as he looked to his side to see Beatrice striking the same pose as Rem.
“Betty will help out as well in-fact. The sooner this is over with, the sooner Betty can go to bed.” The spirit said before walking over to the cabinets where they stored the plates and cutlery.
For a moment, Natsuki Subaru found himself alone, and being alone he now found that the weight hanging on the corners of his mouth had grown; the smile soon fell from his face.
He had to keep himself busy; Subaru was experienced with dealing with the wounds gouged into his mind. For people like him, idleness was the most insidious poison of them all.
Walking over to the far corner of the kitchen, Subaru opened a trap door on the floor, revealing a steep set of stairs descending into the mansion’s root cellar. It was dark, pitch black in-fact.
“Potatoes, carrots, onions, and celery...” Subaru listed off the items he was looking for as he recalled where they were kept. He had been in the cellar more times than he could count, he had no need for a light.
“Four potatoes,” he said as he reached into the bin and scouped them out.
“Three carrots,”
“One onion,”
“Three sticks of celery,”
Quickly gathering everything into his arms, Subaru stood up and left the veiled darkenss of the cellar to return to the kitchen.
Setting everything down on the table, he got to work preparing them.
Washing, peeling, and chopping. Things he had done so many times that he could probably do them in his sleep, yet they were things that he could wholly focus his mind on. He was so consumed by the menial work that he didn’t notice Beatrice step up beside him.
“Subaru.” It wasn’t until he heard his name called that he looked over at the little spirit.
She was looking up at him with a concerned gaze. She knew something was wrong, which wasn’t that wholly unexpected. Of everyone in the mansion, Beatrice probably knew him the best.
“Yeah Beako?”
“Nothing, I just wanted to say Subaru’s name in-fact.” Beatrice said before shifting her gaze back to the slowly growing pile of chopped vegetables in-front of them. It took a mere moment for silence to waft back over them.
“You know that you a real cutie, right Beako?” Subaru said as he put them knife down to look back at his partner of the last few years.
“H-hhhhhh,” a strange sound poured out of her slack-jawed mouth as she stared at him wide-eyed. The only thought to cross his mind as he looked down at her was that she really looked cute.
“Yes, I’m sure of it now. Beatrice is definitely the cutest.” He said while nodding his head, watching with a gleeful grin on his face all the while Beatrice short-circuited right in-front of him. Though he wholeheartedly believed what he was saying, she was really fun to tease.
“Su-Su-Subaru~!” She eventually got his name out as her cheeks became tinted a rosy red.
“Yes Beako?” He said as he picked her up by the underside of the arms, holding her up so that she was at eye-level with him.
At first she just puffed out her cheeks, pouting. Somehow she looked cuter than ever before. That was until she looked down at his hands.
He’d been cutting and peeling vegetables, and he hadn’t thought of washing his hands before picking her up.
Her previous cute playfulness quickly faded away as some honest irritation seeped into her gaze and expression. He’d screwed up a bit.
“Stand still for a sec, okay?” Subaru said with a tinge of unease as he set Beatrice down.
Grabbing a rag, from the counter, he wet it just enough to become damp. With it he did his best to clean the bits of vegetables and juice off before it could stain.
It didn’t take long before he realizes that it wasn’t going to come out of her clothes easily.
He felt a small hand on his head, running back and forth through his hair.
“Betty forgives her contractor, in fact. He’s too cute for Betty to stay mad at.” She said, causing Subaru to stop. Looking at her, he could see all the grime, scuffs, dirt, and tears in her dress. She’d been working hard today, just as hard as anyone else.
Looking up at her, Subaru said, “thanks, I love you Beatrice.”
“Betty knows, she loves Subaru too.” Beatrice said as the feigned frustration and pouting fell from her face to reveal a tired smile.
Looking into her pink, butterfly shaped irises, Subaru was reminded that there was no way he would have gotten as far as he had without her. Emilia may have been the one he chased after, and the one who always accepted him no matter what. Rem may have been the one who had refused to accept the ugly person he had started to collapse into, the one to remind him of who he was. Neither of them were Beatrice.
She was the one to comfort him when the cracks started to appear. She was the one who came closest to understanding what he was going through. She was the one who knew the questions that could not be asked, no matter how much she might want to.
Natsuki Subaru knew from the bottom of his heart that without Beatrice he would have been crushed under the shear weight of his own path long ago.
Just then, both of them found their attention drawn away by a not so subtle thump.
Rem had just set a rather full pot onto the stove, all parties involved were now looking at each other like spooked deer.
“Sorry for interrupting, Rem just wanted to start heating the water up...” The blue-haired maid said with a tinge of guilt.
“You w-weren’t interrupting anything in-fact!” Beatrice stammered as she desperately waved her hands in front of herself. It was plain for all to see just how embarrassed the little spirit was.
“My Beako’s just too cute when she’s embarrassed!” Subaru said with glee as he scooped Beatrice up and held her close; she desperately struggled to push herself away from him, her eyes flicking between Subaru and Rem.
“Subaru~!” She cried as she finally surrendered, her meagre physical strength no match for his bear hug.
With Beatrice squirming in his arms, her red tinged cheeks pressed against his, and Rem giggling like a maniac, devoid of any attempt at maintaining composure, all Subaru could think was that this was what made everything worth it.
Status, achievements, even his own accomplishments at building himself, none of it really mattered. Here he was, surrounded by people who he loved and cared about, and who loved and cared about him. They were all laughing and having fun, despite how tired they were and what they had all gone through. It made every ounce of suffering he had endured and would endure in the future worth it.
The only singular reason that he had for not wanting the moment to last forever is that he was sure he would miss out on so many other great times with everyone. Though there was also the reality of life, Natsuki Subaru could not just make one moment last forever no matter how much he might want to.
Soon enough, the soreness of his body and general fatigue caught up with him and he had to stop. Letting Beatrice down, Subaru grabbed onto the counter for a bit of stability. He felt a bit like he was going to pass out.
“My stomach...” Rem said with exasperation as she clutched her middle while doubling over a bit.
“I saw a little kid puke once after laughing too hard. You gotta watch out Rem.” Subaru said with a tinge of mockery in his voice.
“Rem’s not a kid Subaru-kun, that sounds more like something you should be worried about.”
“I am, because I was the kid that threw up!” He said with a smile as Rem devolved into a fit of laughter again. Beside him, Beatrice stood stock still, completely overstimulated.
After a moment, Rem once again regained her composure and looked at Subaru with a completely serious face.
“Subaru-kun!”
“Yes, Rem-rin!”
“Rem has already finished preparing the meat and is now heating the water. Beatrice-sama has already prepared all the cutlery and dishes. Rem see’s that Subaru-kun has not finished chopping the vegetables; Rem is very disappointed.” Rem said as she crossed her arms and looked at him with a stern glare, waiting for his response.
“Subaru-kun apologizes to Rem. Subaru-kun was working diligently until he noticed how cute Beako was. Due to this cuteness Subaru-kun got distracted and started goofing off.” Subaru said as he snapped to attention and responded like a soldier reporting to their Sargent.
“Are you mocking me Subaru-kun?” Rem said as the intensity in her gaze grew.
“Yes Rem, I am mocking you.” Subaru said as Rem narrowed her eyes. He felt like she was gazing right into his soul. He gazed right back.
For a singular long moment their eyes were locked as they each waited for the other to relent; a literal battle of wills.
Pfft
Natsuki Subaru broke first. After Beatrice’s earlier cuteness attack he quite simply could not handle someone as cute as Rem being all serious. He could not stop the laughter beginning to pour out of him
Pfft
A mere second later, he heard the exact same thing from Rem.
“Are you mocking me Subaru-kun?” Rem choked out through laughter as she doubled over.
“Yes Rem, I am mocking you.” Subaru barely managed to get out as he felt like he was literally dying.
“Did you two hit you heads or something?” Beatrice asked from the sidelines
“Yes Beako, Rem hit her head earlier.”
“Yes Beatrice-sama, Subaru-kun hit his head shortly after he was born.”
“You sound like Nee-sama now.”
“That is the highest compliment for Rem! Speaking of Nee-sama, Subaru-kun should finish cutting the vegetables. Nee-sama was working hard today so its important that she gets proper nutrition.”
“Yes, a grouchy Nee-sama is something we need to avoid no matter what.” Subaru said as he nodded his head. Walking back over to the counter with the mostly chopped vegetables, Subaru picked up the knife and got back to work.
“Subaru?” Beatrice said as she walked up next to him.
“Yeah Beako?”
“Betty’s going to go lie down for a bit.”
“You worked hard today, you deserve a good rest. I’ll come by and eat with you once everyone’s been fed.” Subaru said as Beatrice nodded, only then instead of leaving she turned to Rem. Then, without so much as saying another word, Beatrice turned around and left the kitchen. Subaru thought that her behaviour just then had been a little weird.
While he continued cutting he looked up and saw Rem’s face. She had stopped laughing and was still smiling, but there was a certain seriousness to it. She was almost certainly ruminating on something, and that something clearly wasn’t totally happy.
“Everything good Rem?” He called out to her, causing the seriousness to evaporate as she returned her gaze to him.
“Yes, Rem is alright, just a bit tired.”
“You’ve been doing a lot today, even you must have a limit to your energy.” Subaru said, feeling content with the answer he had received.
“Yes....sorry, that isn’t quite true. Rem told a lie.” She said before Subaru even had a chance to shift his focus back to the chopping board. He could only look at Rem with confusion in his heart. She seemed hesitant to speak.
“It’s just that Rem’s happy Subaru-kun found Beatrice-sama.” She said with despondence and listlessness mixing into her voice. Despite that though, Rem kept up her smile. Subaru didn’t have to think to hard to figure out what was going on.
Picking up the now chopped vegetables, he dumped them all into the pot that had just begun to boil. He then walked over beside Rem and leaned against the counter next to her.
“Rem, I’m all ears if there’s something you need to get off your chest.”
“There’s nothing Rem needs to say. Rem’s just tired and it’s making her feel confused.” Rem said as she continued to look off at some spot on the floor out in the middle of the kitchen.
“Rem, are you lying again?”
“...Yes, Rem is lying to Subaru-kun right now.”
“If you need to get something out I won’t get mad or anything. I’ll even promise to forget it once we step out of the kitchen.” Subaru said without looking over at Rem.
“Doesn’t Emilia-sama always say that you never keep any of your promises?” Rem said as her voice got a tiny bit lighter.
“Yeah, she does...” Subaru said as he ran his hand through his hair. Rem absolutely wasn’t wrong, he’d broken so many promises at this point that it’d be a bit of a struggle to list them all.
“Then Rem will be angry if you break this one. Subaru-kun isn’t allowed to remember any of what Rem’s about to say.”
“Subaru-kun promises Rem.” He said, imitating Rem’s way of talking; though he wasn’t looking at her face, he could only imagine her pouting at him. There was a pause as if exactly that was happening.
It stretched on for more than a singular moment, far to long for it to just be a break so she could make a point of pouting. Come to think of it, hadn’t all of their interactions like this been the other way around, at least back before Rem lost her memory.
“Rem doesn’t really have a place with Subaru-kun anymore, does she?” Rem finally said with almost a whisper, causing Subaru to feel the sudden urge to spin around and shake her. Yet, that was just an urge for Subaru now knew exactly why Rem had been hesitant to mention this to him. If he did anything extreme or rash then Rem would just clam up and stop talking. He couldn’t help her if she became unwilling to talk to him.
“What’re you saying Rem, of course you do. Of everyone I’ve ever met, you’re one of the most important people to me. Without you I wouldn’t have made it...” Subaru said as he tried to keep the pain from his voice.
Rem didn’t respond immediately but he had the vague sense that she was shaking her head back and forth.
“Before Rem lost her memories, Rem was probably the closest one to Subaru-kun. Even as you chased after Emilia in the distance, Rem was the one beside you, supporting you. Rem knew all your worries and all your troubles. Rem knew when you needed help, and when you needed a push. Rem knew when you couldn’t be alone. Now though, the Subaru-kun beside Rem isn’t like the one in Rem’s memories.”
“Re-” Subaru started to speak but was immediately interrupted.
“Rem isn’t saying that Subaru-kun changing is a bad thing. Subaru-kun’s more confident and capable, he fits in with other people better, and he can ask for help when he needs it. Subaru-kun doesn’t need Rem as much anymore, and when he does, he can rely on Beatrice-sama instead...” Rem continued, the pain in her voice becoming so evident that through empathy alone, Subaru was able to feel his heart ache. He opened his mouth to speak, but in the moment he could not think of a single thing to say.
“It’s even different with Nee-sama. She treats Rem well but it isn’t just us anymore. It isn’t just Nee-sama and Rem working together....” Rem said as she began to sound like she was going to cry.
Subaru reached down for her hand. He wanted to hold it and give her some comfort, yet Rem shifted her hand away.
Subaru didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what to do, he even forgot what he said he would do. He looked up until his eyes met Rem’s.
Moisture billowed in her eyes, verging on pouring out and streaking across her scrunched up face.
“Rem woke up and didn’t know where she was, then she remembered and learned that there wasn’t anywhere for her anymore.” She said, her voice trembling as she did everything she could to stop the tears from coming.
Instinctively Subaru tried to close the remaining distance between them. He wanted to help her, to give her a tiny fraction of the support she had given him, unfortunately tried was a rather key descriptor. The second he took a step towards her, Rem took a step back. She held a pair of shaky hands up before her, pleading with him.
“Stay away Subaru-kun.” She said with a very painful smile plastered across her face.
“Wha-”
“It’ll just make it harder for Rem.” She said, her voice creaky. At that moment everything she was saying, everything she was doing, finally made sense to Subaru. Even the why wasn’t all that hard to guess.
In his mind, Subaru apologized to her.
“Rem, do you really hate me that much?” He said as he watched her react like she’d just been stabbed in the gut.
“Rem could never hate Subaru-kun, never!” She said with a voice that was both adamant and so very pained. To see her react like that to something he said, it made him absolutely sick with guilt.
“Then why do I need to stay away?” Subaru said, inching just a bit closer to her.
“Because!” Rem cried as she backed herself against a counter.
“Because what? Because it’s painful to be around me?” He said, inching a bit closer.
“...” Rem remained completely silent, the tears beginning to slowly leak out of her eyes.
“Would you rather I leave you alone?” Subaru said, each word cutting a path along his throat on their way out. His heart broke as he watched Rem’s mouth open only for no words to come out.
Spreading his arms out, Subaru slowly walked towards Rem. She remained stock still, only the corners of her mouth slowly crept upwards. Eventually, he got close enough to hug her.
The second her head was pulled into his chest the dam broke, not into wails, but a silent trickle. Held tightly in his arms he could feel her ragged breathing, occasional sputter, and the slow and steady release of tension from her body.
“It must have been really hard, having the whole world be different from what you remembered.” He whispered gently to her. “You’re really strong Rem. Really strong.” He said, continuing to run his hand down her back. Slowly, but surprisingly quickly, Rem seemed to be calming down.
“You don’t need to be so hard on yourself, you’ll get where you want to be eventually, one step at a time.” He said and within a few moments Rem stopped crying.
She stayed in his embrace, silent and unmoving for many moments. The only sound that permeated through the kitchen was the slow and steady bubbling of the soup cooking away.
“Subaru-kun, Rem has a secret she wants to tell you.” She said through a muffled whisper, her face still mostly buried in his chest.
“What is it Rem?”
“After the Royal Selection, Rem’s going to leave the mansion and go out on her own.” She said and Subaru was completely dumbstruck to have heard it. The Rem he had known was one who was nearly a physical extension to her sister. Then again though, with everything he had just learned it was something that he should have expected. He began to feel happy for her, Rem deserved to live a vibrant and full life; if she stayed here then she would be forcing herself to standstill in a world she felt she no longer had a place in.
A few seconds later, Rem looked up at him with an unsure look in her eyes.
“Do you know where you want to go?” He asked as he let a smile creep onto his face.
“Kararagi maybe, Rem doesn’t ever want to go back to the Empire and Gusteko might be too chilly.”
“Make sure to write lots, and tell me when I come visit. I want to see Rem’s bachelor pad, or would it be a bachelorette pad?” Subaru said as he tried to imagine the kind of home Rem would keep. He was sure it would be clean, but would it be more minimalist or homely? TO be honest he had a bit of a hard time picturing her in either.
“Bachelorette?” Rem said, sounding out the unfamiliar word before giving her head a tiny shake. “Rem will look forward to Subaru-kun’s visit, but if Emilia-sama isn’t with him then she’ll be very mad!” Rem said suddenly puffing up her cheeks into a pout after a tinge of pain fluttered through her voice.
“I’ll make sure she comes no matter what, even if I have to get on my knees and beg her!” Subaru said rather playfully, letting his eyes convey the message his words didn’t.
Then Rem closed her own eyes, took a big breath and then gently pushed herself from Subaru’s embrace.
“Rem will cherish her last hug from Subaru-kun.” She said with strength.
“If you ever need another one, I’ll always be here for you.” Subaru said as certain encounter they’d had long ago fluttered through his mind.
“Rem will remember, Subaru-kun has always been too kind.”
“Rem was always kinder.” Subaru said as Rem’s gaze fell down his figure to look at his shoes.
With a resounding and sudden clap Rem brought her hands together and brought her gaze right back up to Subaru’s face. Smiling and with eyes filled with joy, there was no hint that she’s just been crying aside from the moisture left behind by the tears.
“The soup should be done. If Subaru-kun can handle Emilia-sama’s and Beatrice-sama’s then Rem can handle the rest.” Rem declared resolutely as she quickly placed three bowls on a tray and quickly ladled pipping hot soup into them.
Though she didn’t leave any room to argue, Subaru didn’t even try to. He may not be the best at it but right now he was able to read between the lines.
“Alright, as the mansion’s number one butler, I will carry out this task.” Subaru said with a quick salute before grabbing hold of the tray.
“As the mansion’s only butler, I will leave this task to you!” Rem repeated with a smile on her face.
Taking the tray, Subaru walked to the exit.
“Goodnight Rem.” He called out without turning around.
“Goodnight Subaru-kun.” She said.
Subaru then left both Rem and the kitchen.
Walking through the deserted and dark hallways of the mansion, Subaru could help but feel anything but turbulently mixed. He cared for Rem a lot, he would die for her, he had died for her. Hearing what she said, seeing how much she was pushing herself, it all made his heart ache to the point that he thought it was going to burst. Despite that all, he could not help but feel so incredibly happy for her. Rem had made time begin to move again for him when he was at his absolute lowest, and now despite what she had once said, time was beginning to move for her too. Rem’s life was going to become even more vibrant, even more colourful, and even more ordinary. He wished the world for her.
Without there being anyone in the halls to distract him, Natsuki Subaru reached Emilia’s room just as quickly as he had the kitchen. Placing a hand on the door handle, he opened it without thinking.
There lay Emilia, on her bed, exactly as she had before. She was still asleep, absolutely nothing had changed.
“She hasn’t eaten anything since breakfast...” Subaru thought to himself as he looked at her sleeping figure. She seemed so peaceful, he was honestly really torn about waking her up. Though Emilia had gotten both pretty banged up and worked to the absolute bone. She needed to eat something to recover, and with how big a day tomorrow was going to be, that something had to be now.
That was if he could even wake her up. Emilia was the kind of girl who would sleep until noon everyday if there weren’t people around to stop her.
Gingerly walking across the room, Subaru reached her bed and sat down beside her. Setting the tray down on the end, he leaned over so that he was right next to the sleeping Emilia.
“Emilia-tan, dinners ready.” He said in as soothing a voice as possible while he carefully stroked her head. He wanted to wake her up as gently as possible.
“Emilia-tan.” He called her name again as he continued to stroke her head, but unexpectedly Emilia did not stir.
Subaru didn’t mind though, he sat there gently calling her name and running his hand along her forehead and through her hair. Eventually, she he saw her eyes move just a tiny bit beneath her eyelids.
“Emilia-tan, it’s me, Subaru.” He said, a tiny groan escaping from her in response.
“Emilia-tan.” He called her name again and this time her eyes cracked open a tiny but.
“Subaru~? Is it morning already?” She said, sounding rather dazed.
“Yes it is, good morning Emilia-tan.”
“Good morning Subaru.” Emilia said as her eyes managed to get all the way to being half open.
“I’ve brought your breakfast, can you sit up for me?” Subaru said, grabbing one of the bowls off the tray.
It took the still very asleep Emilia a second to process what Subaru had asked her, once she did she placed both her hands against the bed and heaved herself up onto the pillows with a wince. Emilia was still very much dealing with the fallout of expending all her mana, all of the blows she had taken certainly weren’t helping things either. Despite that though, Emilia had still done it just because he had asked her to.
“Open wide Emilia-tan.” Subaru said as he dipped the spoon into the bowl and then held it towards Emilia. She looked at it with her mostly closed eyes for a second before looking over at Subaru.
“Have you eaten yet?” She asked.
“No, I was going to after.”
“You should eat too.”
“I will, after you do.”
“I can feed myself, so Subaru should eat his breakfast with me instead.” The sleepy Emilia said as she reached out with both hands for the bowl. All Subaru could think of was how much of an angel she was. Still practically asleep and all banged up from the fight, she was thinking about if he had eaten or not.
“Careful Emilia-tan, it’s pretty hot.” He said as he returned the spoon to the bowl before placing it in her outstretched hands.
Accepting it, she brought it close to her face and looked at it despite her eyes being barely open.
“Porridge for breakfast today?” She asked.
“No Emilia-tan, it’s soup!”
“It’s a little weird to have soup for breakfast, isn’t it?”
“Yeah it is, Rem and I were pretty tired so we wanted to make something quickly.”
“You made it?”
“Yeah, Rem and I did.”
“Then I’ll have Subaru’s scrumptious soup for breakfast!” Emilia said with a smile as she began to partake in the soup.
“Emilia-tan, nobody says scrumptious anymore.”
“But it’s scrumptious, what else would I say.” She asked in between spoonfuls of soup.
“Delicious or tasty.
“I like scrumptious better.”
“Okay Emilia-tan.”
“It’s really scrumptious!” She said in between bites with a big smile on her face.
“I’m glad, but your really stuck on the word scrumptious, aren’t you?”
“I think the word scrumptious is scrumptious.” She said as she continued to happily eat her soup.
“Emilia-tan, I know you’re tired but let’s not get too crazy alright?”
“Okie!” She said as she continued to eat. Only now did Subaru realize that he hadn’t started on his own bowl. Grabbing it, he began to eat as well.
For the next several moments the only sound to permeate the room was that of the two eating their soup. Subaru going at a faster pace in order to catch up with her while Emilia went a bit more slowly, her hand unsteady.
Practically in sync, the two clinked their spoons against the bottom of their bowls.
“It was very scrumptious Subaru.” Emilia said with a big smile as Subaru took her empty bowl from her.
“I’m glad Emilia-tan liked my cooking!” Subaru said with an equally large smile on his face as a warmth radiated from his chest. He put the two empty bowls on the tray. Only then did he notice that Emilia’s smile had turned into a frown.
“Subaru.” Emilia called his name before he even had a chance to ask.
“Yeah Emilia-tan.”
“I’m still so sleepy, I’m not ready to get up.
“I know Emilia-tan. You can go back to sleep now, I just wanted to make sure you ate something.”
“But don’t we need to leave for the capital soon?” She asked, suddenly sounding a bit confused.
“It’s not actually morning yet. I was just pulling your leg, Emilia-tan. You can go back to sleep.”
“Pulling my leg? How can I fall back to sleep if you’re going to be pulling my leg?”
“It’s just a figure of speech, I’m not actually going to be pulling your leg.”
“But you just said you were?”
“I know Emilia-tan, this’ll all make more sense in the morning.
“Really?”
“Really.” Subaru said as he got up from the bed and helped Emilia slide down so that her head was back on the pillows.
“Goodnight Emilia-tan.
“Goodnight Subaru.” She said right before letting her eyes fully shut.
Subaru than picked up the tray and gingerly made his way to the door.
“Subaru?” He heard her call his name right before he reached the door, looking back, he could barely see Emilia’s eyes open on account of the moonlight streaming in through the window.
“Yeah Emilia?”
“You can pull my leg if you really want to.”
“Thank you Emilia-tan. Now nighty-night.”
“Nighty-night Subaru.” She said before closing her eyes again. Subaru then stepped out of the room.
“I don’t think my heart can handle much more of that...” Subaru said aloud to himself as he closed the door. One of the longest days of his life was atlast approaching its end.
As Subaru walked through the hallways carrying his tray, the exhaustion that he’d somehow held off began to sink its teeth into him. Not only the physical, but also mentally. Not a single time had he been killed today despite them having subjugated the Witch of Envy. Not one single time, however that was not because it had been some flawless walk in the park; it was because the Witch of Envy spared him such wrath. The same had not held true for his companions.
Each and every loop he had undertaken today had been because he had seen one of his friends die. Each and every loop had required him to take his own life right in-front of the ones who cared about him, who he cared about. It was pure, unbridled anguish.
The only thing that made it worse was the fact that the Witch of Envy seemed to make a beeline for Emilia every single time, leading to her being the one to fall in almost every loop. Yet, it was precisely that single minded focus from their opponent that allowed the to succeed in the end.
All together, it was a muddled mess that he prayed he could forget. Each and every day he could put between himself and today would be for the better.
Needless to say, it was only another reason for him to want to hit the hay as soon as possible. He only had one more duty prior.
Though it was one that put a smile on his face.
Opening the door to his own bedroom, he was immediately met with the sight of Beatrice sitting on the edge of the bed, aimlessly kicking her feet. A second later she looked up at him and instantly began to pout.
“Subaru was having fun with the other two I suppose. Leaving Betty alone and hungry in fact.” She said with a mopey voice.
“I’m sorry Beako, I’ll make it up to you so don’t hate me, please?” He said as he sat the tray down on the night stand next to the bed.
“Hmph” Beako sounded as she crossed her arms and turned her head away from him. When Subaru sat down next to her she turned towards him for a brief second before looking right back away.
“It’s time for Beako to experience Natsuki Subaru’s super-ultra-delux-luxury meal service. From the kitchen straight to your mouth!” Subaru said as he snatched Beako up so suddenly that she yelped.
Placing her on his lap, he took the only full bowl of soup off the tray with one hand and grabbed the spoon with the other. From there he brought it right in-front of Beatrice’s lips.
“Open wide Beako~” Suabru sung as Beatrice just looked at him.
“Ahhhh.” He said, opening his mouth wide. A second later, Beatrice copied the gesture.
He put the spoon right into her mouth, which she instinctively shut a moment later right as her cheeks began to glow red. It was like the little spirit wasn’t all that sure what had just happened.
“Was it good Beako?” Subaru asked only for Beatrice to respond with solely a little nod. Yet when Subaru went to feed her another spoonfull of soup, she stopped him.
“Betty can feed herself I suppose.” She said meekly as she took the spoon from Subaru’s hand. “Subaru should just hold Betty as she eats in fact.” She added.
From the sudden meekness and the blushing Subaru could only summarize that Beatrice had been overstimulated by the sudden and unexpected rise in affection. Right now she was probably too tired to handle that much.
So Subaru did what was asked, holding the bowl for the small girl with one arm as he kept the other wrapped around her, allowing her to eat in silence. Eventually Beatrice finished her meal.
“Betty is ready to go to sleep in-fact.” She said with little other fanfare aside from letting her spoon drop into the bowl with a clink.
“Getting sleepy already? Maybe my Beako is actually just a little kid?” Subaru jabbed as he placed the bowl back onto the tray.
“Betty is too tired to play into her contractor’s childish games today. Either go to bed or leave Betty alone so she can, I suppose.”
“I see that you entering your rebellious phase. I’ll mourn the loss of my sweet little Beako in silence than.” Subaru said as he put on a sorrowful voice.
“Subaru....” Beatrice said with more than just a little irritation.
“Alright, alright.” He said as he snuffed out the bedside candle, submerging the room into darkness.
Sitting up just enough to open the blankets on the bed, Subaru let Beatrice crawl in first before getting in himself. On a more normal day he would’ve made sure to change, bathe, and brush his teeth first but right now he was far too tired for any of that.
The second his head hit the pillow, he could feel himself being sucked into it. Yet there was something ensureing that he absolutely could not possibly go to sleep yet. Beatrice’s eyes, wide open, were looking right at him.
“What is it Beako?” He asked.
“Perhaps Betty should be asking you that question instead, I suppose.”
“What’re you talking about?”
“Betty’s talking about the look that’s been in your eye ever since we got back. Its been worse since your first visit to Emilia’s room in-fact.”
“Ah” He unintentionally whimpered as a bunch of recent memories flooded into his mind.
Satella’s corpse laying on the sand, Emilia suddenly collapsing mere paces away less than a minute after the Witch passed. Running to her, pleading with her to wake up, shortly followed by the relief that came with seeing her bright amethyst eyes again. Relief that had the tiniest of pinholes formed in it by a sudden realization. A realization not of something, but by the absence of something.
“Beako... Emilia became the new Witch of Envy today.”