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Richie was wearing one of those stupid fucking flannels he traded his stupid fucking Hiiwian shirts in for when the weather got cold. His hair was slightly overgrown and curled in odd directions, he’d also gotten taller since that summer, but despite all this change he kept those same bottle cap glasses that made him look all bug eyed.
“Eds!” He said in that sarcastically sweet voice he reserved for Eddie and only Eddie.
“Move it, Trashmouth.” Eddie said, shoulder checking him and pushing his way into Richie’s house to kick his shoes off next to the door.
“Sure. Fine. Mi casa, su casa.” Richie muttered, shutting the door behind them and trailing Eddie.
Placing his bag carefully on the counter Eddie unzipped it, “You said you’re mom’s for sure not here right?”
“For the last time, she went on the trip with my dad!” Richie hoisted himself up to sit on the counter next to Eddie’s backpack, “You’re welcome to do a check.” He gestured out dramatically and kicked his feet against the cabinets.
“Fine. But when she comes back I’m saying this was your idea.” Eddie poked Richie in the sternum, causing him to sit back a bit. He knew deep down that Mrs. Tozier really wouldn’t care what her son was doing, she never did. Eddie was fairly certain that Richie could evaporate right in front of her and she wouldn’t notice but he didn’t want her telling his mother what they were doing nonetheless.
Richie smirked and grabbed Eddie’s cheek, “Whatever makes you feel better, Love.”
Eddie shoved him off, “I told you to stop calling me that.” He reached into the bag and produced a bottle of Smirnoff.
Richie picked up the bottle and let out a whistle, “Damn, Eds. How’d you even get this?”
The bottle was quickly swiped from Richie’s hands and Eddie dug his nail into the packaging to open it. “...Stole it.” he said quietly with his mouth half closed so that Richie couldn’t actually hear what he said.
“I’m sorry?” Richie smirked, “Did I hear that right? Wittle baby Eds stole a bottle of vodka!” he grabbed at Eddie’s cheeks again.
“Shut the fuck up, Richie.” Eddie spat back in that fast passed voice he picked up when he got nervous. “I’m not a fucking baby.”
Richie squeezed his cheek one last time and let go, “For the record, you just got like… two people higher on my favorite people list.”
As Eddie finished popping open the bottle he asked, “Who am I competing with now?” not bothering to spare a glance at the other boy.
“Eh- somewhere between Nicolson and your mother.”
Eddie shot up a disapproving glare but didn’t say anything. He’d given up fighting Richie on shit like this unless his mother was in their direct vicinity. He set the bottle on the counter and slapped Richie’s hand away as he grabbed at it. “Let me get cups, Jesus.”
“We don’t need fucking cups. Just drink it!”
“Richard I swear to god if you take one sip from that bottle I’m never talking to you again.” Eddie half expected Richie to disobey him but he didn’t, he put his elbows on his knees and rested his chin in his palms and waited for Eddie to go grab glasses.
Eddie shut the cabinet door and poured barely a shot into each glass. He walked back around to Richie and handed him one and as he went to take a drink Richie placed a finger on the rim of Eddie’s glass to stop him.
“Wait.” Richie exclaimed, hopping off the counter and intertwining their arms so that his arm was fed through Eddie’s.
“What are you doing, asshole?”
“Saw it on TV.” he said softly and he forced Eddie’s arm up so that their elbows were interlocked, “Okay. On one. Three…two…”
They both took the shot. It was awkward with their arms intertwined but Eddie didn’t care, he just poisoned himself with what tasted like what he imagined the alcohol he’d put on knee scrapes would taste like.
They both made the same face but Richie cleared his quicker and was pouring them seconds.
“What the fuck. Did you just have me drink?” Eddie said, his voice hoarse, and he was bent over and gripping his knees.
Richie let out a laugh that came out as more of a cough and strode over to the fridge. He pulled out a cranberry juice bottle and shut the fridge with his foot. He poured a decent amount of juice into both glasses before handing one to Eddie.
“This mine?” Eddie asked and Richie shrugged. “I don’t want your fucking germs, dude.”
“And you’re not gonna get them because alcohol kills like ninety nine percent of bacteria or whatever it is.”
“Not how it works.” Eddie snapped back but took the glass anyway.
Richie led him back over to the couch and brought both bottles with him. He set everything on the coffee table and ran his hands through his hair, “Wanna watch a movie?” he asked in an uncharacteristically soft voice.
“Sure.” Eddie replied, falling back on the couch. He let his head fall back and his eyes fell shut. He could still taste the burn but it was slowly getting sweeter.
The sounds of plastic boxes being rummaged through flooded the room and was interrupted by Richie’s voice after a while, “What’cha in the mood for? I got E.T., Labyrinth, uh… Ghostbusters…”
“Bill and Ted.” Eddie said flatly, not looking up.
Richie audibly groaned, “C’mon man, we always fucking watch Bill and Ted.”
“Ay!” Eddie didn’t have to continue the fight because he heard the sound of a VHS box opening and being inserted into the player.
Just like that, Richie was back at his side and sitting far too close like he usually did. Eddie glanced up at him and when Richie looked at him through the corner of his eye he said, “Happy birthday, Eds.” and pressed their shoulders together for just a second.
–
Eddie lost count of how many drinks he had approximately two vodka cranberries in and he’d given up trying to remember. The bottle of cranberry juice was almost gone and the bottle of vodka was about a quarter used. The movie had gotten progressively quieter as his lips began to numb and his brain got all foggy.
He was hardly processing the light coming from the T.V. and he only just noticed how dark it had gotten outside. Once he turned his attention away from the window he looked at Richie, resting his cheek against the back of the couch.
Richie was staring intently at the T.V., he was leaning slightly away from Eddie to rest an elbow on the arm of the couch and he’d brought one leg up to his chest to set his chin on. Eddie couldn’t help but notice how his face had started to square out and his jaw got much sharper. His nose had stayed the same though, a little too big for his face and slightly crooked and Eddie couldn’t help but think how well it suited him. After all, Richie was a little off center and slightly crooked.
“You okay dude?” Richie broke the silence between them, “You’ve been staring at me for like… most the movie.” He waved a hand in front of Eddie’s face to snap him out of whatever trance he was in.
Eddie blinked and rubbed his eyes, “Yeah…I’m fine.” Every word came out too slow and he did his best to focus back in on the T.V.
There was a hand ruffling his hair and a voice that said, “Lemme get us water.” and Richie was gone. Then it was cold.
Eddie had always heard that alcohol makes you warm so he was mildly surprised that once Richie left he got cold, so cold that he could feel himself shaking. He leaned back against the couch again and curled in on himself a bit, trying to make the shaking subside.
The sound of a bag crinkling and two glasses of water being placed on the coffee table broke Eddie’s attention.
“Fuck man, are you okay?” Richie sat next to him again and grabbed his shoulders, “You’re shaking like crazy. Looking like me after I fucked your mom for the first time.”
“Beep Beep Richie. That didn’t even make sense.” Eddie muttered and crossed his arms over his chest in attempts to hide how bad it had gotten.
There was a quiet shuffle and one of the hands holding Eddie’s shoulders left. A glass of water was being held in front of him and he took it without a thanks. “Drink this. You’ll feel better.”
“How do you know? Drink often?” Eddie asked even though he knew the answer.
“No. This is my first time but I’m not fucking stupid.”
“Debatable.” Eddie said against his glass as he took a long sip. His insistent shaking had yet to subside and clearly Richie took notice of that because there was an arm slipping around his shoulder. “What’re you doing Richie?”
“Holding you down so you don’t shake off the couch, what does it look like I’m doing?” Richie bit back.
For some reason that he couldn’t control Eddie found himself sinking into Richie’s hold. He let his head fall to Richie’s shoulder and allowed his arms to wrap around Richie’s waist. Then he made the grave mistake of letting his eyes fall shut.
He started to spin. He started to spin fast. “Oh fuck! Rich! I’m spinning!” He practically yelled, nausea taking over. He grabbed onto Richie’s shirt and squeezed his eyes shut, burying his face into Richie’s shoulder. “Oh my god!” His breathing picked up along with his heart rate, “Richie.” he winced.
There was a hand on the back of his head that pulled at his hair. “Open your eyes, Eds.” Richie said and when he did he continued, “Feel like you’re gonna hurl?”
Eddie nodded and Richie stood up, a bit wobbly himself but he composed himself and held his hands out for Eddie to take. He hoisted his friend up and looped an arm around his waist to walk him over to the bathroom.
Eddie couldn’t quite remember how he ended up in the bathroom, hunched over the toilet but he was there either way with Richie standing over him, holding the hair out of his face.
In any other situation Eddie would have begged Richie to take him to the hospital because there was literally no reason he should be vomiting this much and this heavily but for some reason how sick he felt was the last thing on Eddie’s mind. Rather what was taking up what little consciousness Eddie had left was how warm Richie’s hands were and how he was positioned in between Richie’s legs so that the other boy could squeeze him with his calves to hold him upright.
Once he was done Eddie opened his eyes and looked at the mess he’d made, it was pink and there were small chunks floating around.
Richie stepped away from him but kept his hands where they were, “Feel better?” he asked just loud enough so that Eddie could hear.
It was strange, he did feel better, he sat back and let his head fall forward, “Fuck…” he whispered and he must have stayed like that for a while because next he knew there was some sort of cloth wiping at his mouth. “Rich…”
“Yeah Eds?”
Eddie didn’t reply, he didn’t know why he said Richie’s name, he didn’t know why he’d thrown up, hell he didn’t even really know where he was. What he did know was that Richie Tozier was taking better care of him while shit faced drunk than his mother ever had stone cold sober.
“Need to brush my teeth.” Eddie slurred out, aware of how drunk he probably looked and definitely sounded.
He was hauled up somehow and leaned over the counter. “Wait right here, I’ll get you a toothbrush.”
In that time that Richie was gone Eddie realized that Richie didn’t seem nearly as drunk as he was. He was for sure drunk but he wasn’t seeing two and he wasn’t hurling like Eddie was.
Eddie stared in the mirror, he blinked once…twice… and whispered, “Fuck is wrong with you…” he took notice of his face, as much as Richie had grown, so had he. He looked older, his hair had also curled a bit but he kept it too short for it to really be noticeable, and his face had also matured. If he were sober he’d say that he hated how he’d changed but in this state he liked it. He liked himself as he stared in the mirror.
He was shaken out of his trance by Richie physically shaking him and handing him a toothbrush with toothpaste already on it. “C’mon man, you’ve been staring at yourself for like two minutes, I was worried you were gonna drop your pants and fuck yourself.”
Eddie took the toothbrush and slowly said, “You’d like that wouldn’t you, Trashmouth.” he smirked and wavered slightly, grabbing hold of the counter to balance himself.
“Just brush your teeth.” Richie said.
They were back on the couch all of a sudden. Eddie couldn’t remember getting there, he vaguely remembered the feeling of an arm around his waist but that could have been from earlier or there was an arm around his waist now, he really couldn’t tell.
There was no arm around his waist because Richie was standing in front of him with one of those small pretzels. He pushed Eddie’s head back and said, “Can you eat this?”
With a nod Eddie took the pretzel and chewed it slow, letting it slip down his annoyingly closed off throat. Richie ruffled his hair again and held out a glass of water.
“How’re you so good at this?” Eddie asked slowly.
“Good at what? Taking care of my Eddie spaghetti?” the dark haired boy teased.
Eddie sipped the water and with a delayed response said, “Stop fucking calling me that.” he continued his prior thought, “Taking care of drunk people.”
Richie shrugged and answered but Eddie didn’t hear, his eyes were slipping shut again.
“Woah! Woah! Woah!” a hand made contact with his face but Eddie could barely feel the sting because he could hardly feel his face. When he opened his eyes again Richie was crouched in front of him, “Remember what happened last time? You hurled for like five minutes.”
Eddie didn’t respond he pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes and huffed, “Fuck. I gotta sober up.”
His hands were peeled away from his face and replaced by Richie’s, still warm hands. Richie swiped the undersides of Eddie’s eyes like he was wiping away tears and he had that stupid grin on his face. Eddie reciprocated it. “Careful, Eds, keep looking at me like that I’m gonna start to think I’m chasing the wrong Kasbrak.”
Eddie, without thinking, said, “You are.”
He’d never admitted it to himself before but everything he’d heard was right, drunk words are sober thoughts. The concept scared him senseless, Richie and Eddie. It was bound to happen, even their friends knew it, every time one of them was brought up he was getting into trouble with the other. ‘Richie and Eddie’ had been a thing since the beginning, everyone knew it, their classmates knew it, The Losers knew it. They were a packaged deal as much as it bothered Eddie, he knew Richie loved him, hell he loved Richie. That fucking clown from years ago knew it. “Wait.”
He put his hand in Richie’s face, he didn’t even look at how Richie was processing what he just said. “Remember that fucking clown?” he asked.
“What clown?” then, “Oh… uh- kinda.”
Eddie leaned forward, his heart rate speeding up and his shaking beginning again. His face was in Richie’s hands again as Richie spoke to him.
“Hey… hey… that happened years ago, fuck we barely remember it so don’t-” he cut himself off, “Go back. Why’d you say that?”
“Say what?”
Richie sat back on his heels and dropped his hands to Eddie’s arms, “You said, ‘you are’.” he interrupted Eddie before he could answer, “Fuck Eds… I know we’re drunk but were you joking or?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Eds.” Richie shook his head aggressively like he was trying to sober up. He took a long gulp of his water and ate a few pretzels while trying to relax.
“What, Rich?”
Richie took another minute to respond, “Are you… do you…” Richie started but he didn’t allow himself to finish, “Fuck. No, it's stupid.” he stood up and went to change the movie, probably to Predator, Eddie knew he liked that movie.
–
Eddie was right, Richie changed the movie to Predator and he sat next to him again. It wasn’t until about a quarter of the way into the movie that Eddie was finally sobered up enough that he could think semi-straight. “Richie.” he turned so that he was sitting back against the arm of the couch with his legs pulled up to his chest and he was completely turned towards the other boy.
Richie mirrored his position, “Yeah?”
“Do you ever wish we were different people?”
“Sometimes… why?”
Eddie shrugged, “Dunno… sometimes I wish that we weren’t losers. That we lived different lives.” he looked off to the side, “Sometimes I wish you were a girl.”
There was a stark silence between them and Eddie couldn’t bear to look at him. He started shaking again, this time it wasn’t because he was drunk or sobering up.
“I-” Richie started but he cut himself off and didn’t finish.
Eddie half expected him to make a joke, he wasn’t sure what about because his brain was still foggy but he didn’t mean to render his best friend speechless. He decided to continue. “Sometimes I wish my mom wasn’t lying to me about how sick I am, cause I know I’m fucking sick but its not how she thinks I’m sick. And sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get out or if I’ll be stuck with her forever and ever. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get married and if I get married will I even love her? Will she love me?” he looked up, tears in his eyes, that spinning feeling had returned, “Richie I don’t think I’ll ever love a girl. I’m supposed to love a girl but I can’t see myself with her and when I try to picture her she always morphs into my mother.” he wiped the tears from his eyes, “Richie I’m fucking sick, there’s something wrong with me! No one will ever marry me. I’m fucking unloveable.” He wasn't sure how he’d gotten this emotional so quickly.
Richie was speaking over him the whole time, “Eds. Eddie. Eds.” he kept repeating, inching closer to him. He grabbed Eddie’s legs and pulled them forward so he had better access and could look him in the eyes. “Eddie.” he said as Eddie spat out his last words, and just as he did Richie kissed him.
The kiss was soft, really Richie just pressed his closed lips to Eddie’s and didn’t move until Eddie pulled away.
Eddie was left speechless but Richie did the talking, “I love you.”
His mouth was still hanging open when Richie started apologizing. “Fuck. Eds. I’m sorry. Fuck I totally read that wrong oh my g-”
Eddie cut him off with another kiss, this one heavier. He ran his hand through Richie’s dark curls and with the other he pushed Richie’s glasses up to get closer to him.
Everything felt so right then and there. Richie and Eddie. Eddie and Richie. Kissing shitfaced drunk on Richie’s couch just two days after Eddie’s seventeenth birthday. It should have felt wrong, he should have felt dirty, he should have felt sick but he couldn’t bring himself to.
Richie pulled away and set his head on Eddie’s shoulder with a small laugh. He pushed Eddie back so that they were laying down on the couch, Richie with his arms wrapped around Eddie’s middle and his body between Eddie’s and the couch. He pulled his glasses off and set them on the coffee table so that he could really dig his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck. “For the record.” he mumbled, his voice vibrating against Eddie’s neck, “I’d marry you and I wouldn’t morph into your mother. I’d just fuck her.”