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Trinity had a habit of scrolling on TikTok with the volume all the way up. It annoyed Dennis to no end, but he wasn’t going to say anything. It was her couch after all.
He’d been hearing the same audio for the last couple of minutes. Something about Hawaii? He wasn’t sure. It was just the one lyric playing over and over. He was going to have to go to his room if it didn’t stop. He needed to change soon anyway. Trinity demanded he accompany her out this evening, despite them having the day shift tomorrow. Something about being able to sleep when you’re dead. Dennis was like 80% sure he was going to Hell, but he wasn’t going to use that as an argument.
She was still looking at her phone with a dead-eyed stare when she said, “You’ve totally gotta try this, Huckleberry.” She turned her phone around to show a girl hanging off the bar that connects a pedestrian signal to a lamppost.
Dennis didn’t know what the point of the video was. He didn’t post on social media. He lurked a little on specific parts of it but wasn’t really in touch with the mainstream stuff. “I’m not doing that.”
She finally turned her phone off and looked at him. “Why not? I’ve seen you do your pull-up stuff. I’m sure you could do it!”
Dennis got up to put their plates in the sink. He’d load the dishwasher tomorrow after their shift…probably. “I could definitely do a one-armed dead hang, that’s not even hard.” Regular meals and daily exercise had done him well.
Trinity followed him to the doorway of the kitchen and leaned on it. Casual to a fault. “Come on. What’s the point of having a douchey pull-up bar in your doorway all the time if you never flex on these ho’s?”
Dennis walked out of the kitchen, past her, and back to the couch. He flopped down like a kid. “I don’t know. Cardiovascular health, bone density, shoulder mobility, grip strength, posture-“
“I get it! You’re better than me. Let me get the clout of having a secretly hot roommate.”
Denny laughed a little , “I’m not hot, Trin.”
She tried not to show her shock. She didn’t want to compliment him too much, but this was just inaccurate. “You have like insane biceps, clear skin, and big, wet, sad eyes. Also, I fixed your hair so you look less homeschooled than ever. You’ll do numbers, trust.” She nodded assuredly.
Dennis opened the Reddit app to pretend like he was disengaged. He didn’t want to hear her humor him. She was just being nice. “I’m not doing it, Trinity. I don’t care how much you beg.”
Then he was doing the stupid trend.
Trinity, with her generous spirit, was buying that night. Dennis was just trying to keep up, not wanting to hear her call him Amish or a Mormon or whatever insult she was fixated on that week. Dennis’s alcohol tolerance wasn’t what it once was in undergrad. They also wanted to get out by a reasonable time and needed the full 8 hours to be completely sober for their shift.
They were walking back from the bar, everything was funny, and the night seemed limitless. They tried to pet a cat and it got mad at them. Dennis had never had a best friend like this. Trinity understood now how precious things like this were. She was going to get a video of Dennis like this and she was going to post it and then she was going to show Dennis all of the comments that her college friends left hyping him up. It was the least she could do.
“Huckleberry Finn. My favorite roommate.” Her tone was grand and whimsical. “Please do the thing! I wanna remember it forever. I’ll turn off shares and put it on followers only.”
“Nooooo. Don’t make me!”
“I bet you can’t even do it!” She stumbled over her words a little, giggling too much. Her scheme was becoming clear in her head. She knew how competitive Dennis was. “You just like to train the glamour muscles. Health, my ass.”
He scoffed, all offended. The instinct to prove himself was untempered by his usual logic. “I can totally do it. Don’t piss me off.” Drunk him was cocky.
“I don’t believe you,” she said in a sing-song way. “Twenty bucks says you can’t.”
“I want first shower after shifts for the next week and $20.”
“Deal.” She practically squealed.
Dennis couldn’t remember why he didn’t want to do it in the first place. And he needed to demonstrate his prowess, which was under question. “Fine, show me the video again.”
That was how a video of Dennis shirtless winded up on the internet. He was obviously inebriated. He looked a little unsteady as he jumped up to grab onto the handhold. His forearms bulged a little at the engagement.
The song was playing, Dennis remembered he had to lip sync to it and usually he would feel self-conscious about that, but Trinity was wooing at him. He took one arm off the bar he was holding and pointed at his friend, then flexed a little. Fuck her for not believing him. Then, at the last part of the audio, he did something that would totally make Trinity swoon if she were at all susceptible to the opposite sex. A one armed pull up.
His core was engaged, and his pecs were defined. His shoulders looked insane. He had a little smirk on his face because he knew he was doing something a little wild. He got his chin above his hand and then controlled his descent in a way that looked too practiced.
She played it back once to make sure the audio lined up and it was perfect. A glorious social media debut for her shy bestie! “Damn, Dennis! You look fine in this.”
Dennis didn’t care about that and waved it off. She had to say that. “I’ll take my twenty now. And my showers later.” They stumbled home, went to bed, and didn’t even notice that Trinity never changed her post settings off public.
Trinity was followed by a couple of people in the department under the age of forty. She posted pretty frequently about her job and life and was always hoping to get her numbers up. She wanted to be one of those influencer doctors who got sent Liquid IV and free Hokas.
Mateo was the first to see it. He was just doomscrolling in bed when Dennis, sans shirt, appeared. Who knew he was hiding all that? He sent it to McKay, who sent it to a group chat with Dana, Princess, and Perlah. Victoria saw it on her For You Page the following morning when she was procrastinating getting out of bed. She liked it before she even noticed it was her friend. The location tag and the vaguely familiar username were the only reasons she connected the two. She couldn’t believe her friend had gotten a hundred thousand views on a post that was made only nine hours ago. Or that Dennis was kinda…hot. She sent it to Mel and Samira with an accompanying message full of question marks and thirsty emojis.
The two roommates, of course, woke up late and hungover. Trinity didn’t plug in her phone and it was too late now. The time on the microwave told her she was fucked.
She banged on Dennis’s door while she was brushing her teeth and stopped when she heard the groans of someone regretting waking up. He could throw on scrubs and do his business in the bathroom in less than five minutes, so she wasn’t going to worry too much about him getting out the door.
They skipped the usual Dunkin run, and if that doesn’t demonstrate their level of desperation, she wasn’t sure what did. They miraculously ran in right on time. Abbot was even still on the floor, looking at something on Dana’s phone. Robby had put on his glasses and was squinting a little over his partner's shoulder as his eyes adjusted.
Dennis’s stomach dropped when he got close enough to hear a snippet of the song that he had forgotten about completely until this moment. He prayed this was a different video than the one he barely remembered making. Judging from the raised eyebrows and slightly gaping jaws, he wasn’t hopeful.
He glared a little at his friend and asked in a pleading way, “You turned off shares, right?”
Trinity made an ‘oh shit’ face and his stomach dropped a little more. “Uhhh. I don’t think I did. My bad.” One half of her mouth went up in a wince. Dennis punched her arm in a way that was much closer to a sibling fight than coworkers, and Trinity’s loud response made the two attendings unglue their eyes from the looping video.
Robby’s adam’s apple moved up and down while Abbot stayed eerily still. Dennis looked away quickly and said, “God dammit, Santos,” as he walked away.
Robby quietly asked, “You thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Yup,” Jack replied as his eyes tracked Whitaker stomping away.
Dennis was just trying to get through his shift, but everyone was just being weird. Victoria was clumsy around him, Jesse was flirty, and McKay was proud like a grandmother with a handsome grandson. Don’t even get him started at the looks Princess and Perlah were giving him. Fuck his stupid life.
Robby was mostly normal, but his grip was a little firmer. A little lower on his arms, more on his biceps. Dennis could understand that. It didn’t always look like there was much to grab in his scrubs.
The day thankfully ended quickly, but the video kept gaining traction. Trinity plugged her phone in after borrowing a charger and checked it when she was walking out with Dennis. “Holy shit, dude! It has two hundred thousand likes, and Wendy’s commented!”
“Why would Wendy’s comment?”
She rolled her eyes, “They comment on stuff all the time. It’s their thing.”
“I don’t really understand why it’s becoming such a big deal.”
Trinity scoffed a little. He was so self-effacing. “Your arms are the size of a small country and you have a sweet little face. I don’t know why you’re pretending like you don’t get it.”
He was flustered now. His brothers were always the big, strong, manly men. He was the one with his nose in a chemistry textbook. He was the runt. Dennis put his head down and kept walking towards the garage. He never quite learned how to accept compliments. Or assert his opinion.
Dennis was putting a frozen pizza in the oven when he heard Trinity talking in the living room. He assumed she was Facetiming her family or one of her old friends. When he listened closer to be nosey, he heard her saying stuff about him.
“And he doesn’t even think he’s hot! But I read him some comments you guys left and he got all red, so he appreciates them, I’m sure. Another question people had was if he was going to be in more videos of mine and I’m sure he will be. We work together and live together, so we have plenty of access. He is gay, so sorry to the ladies-“
He slammed the oven door shut harder than he needed to and left the kitchen swiftly. “Whoa! Why are you telling people on the internet my business?”
“Huckleberry! The man of the hour. Look at him in his cute sweater and oven mitts!” She pointed her phone at him and Dennis turned around, not wanting his face in the video.
“Dude!”
She was still talking to her phone. “He’s camera shy! When he’s not a little tipsy, that is.”
He interjected, “Don’t tell people that!”
“Then show the camera your face.”
“I-I don’t really want to be perceived like that.” He sounded small.
Trinity stopped the video. She didn’t want him to actually feel bad. This wasn’t some act or compliment fishing. He was genuinely insecure and nervous to have eyes on him.
Her face was fond and her tone soft. “Dennis, people are genuinely interested in you. They want you to start your own account! Come look.” She scooted away from the middle of the couch to make room for him to sit.
who is this man???
i’m saving this!
His eye bags and non threatening aura has enchanted me.
giggling about this
What’s his @?!?
“I don’t even have this app, Trin. I wouldn’t know what to do. I’m just going to disappoint them.” His biggest fear was disappointing people. He’d done it enough already.
“No! You don’t understand. It’s like a whole genre of videos where people who don’t really know how the app works make content. You’re what we call chronically offline and I’m chronically online!” Trinity wouldn’t say it, but she had this desperate need to be successful. She’d been trying to get this kind of attention since she was an intern. She wouldn’t make Dennis feel guilty for not going along with it if he really didn’t want to, but this was the breakout she’s been waiting for.
Dennis knew this. He also knew Trinity wouldn’t ever put him in the position to be humiliated. She could’ve done that a while ago when she found him squatting. She could’ve told Gloria or Robby. She could’ve told everybody that he couldn’t take care of himself but she didn’t. She never held it over his head that she paid for him and never let it slip. Even told people she was useless in the kitchen and she didn’t know how to load a dishwasher to justify him moving in. She embarrassed herself to save him from it. The least he could do is sit for a couple of videos. People would get tired of him anyway.
They made a video together answering the most liked questions. Just basic information like his name, where he was from, his job. He and Trinity couldn’t help but bicker and tease each other. Dennis felt the need to tell the audience, “I’m not really on here, so I don’t know what you guys want.” He did a dismissive little laugh. “Unless you want some shirtless CPR lessons, I don’t have much else to give.”
Turns out that was exactly what they wanted. In fact, there were hundreds of comments demanding it. Dennis could at least construe this as educational. Raising awareness for life-saving measures was important. Maybe he could do the Heimlich Maneuver next!
Trinity had to explain to her new followers that she had to procure a dummy somehow before she could post, but that Dennis was willing to show them proper pull-up technique.
The gifts from companies came after that. Gym wear, water bottles, scrubs. They all sent two of everything, knowing the friendship was the true charm of the profile, even if the eye candy helped. The Red Cross was sending them a dummy if they promised to mention and tag them.
And people at work were not normal about it. Mateo had to take a selfie with him for his cousin, who ‘was a big fan.’ Princess wanted him to flex for her. Dennis didn’t know what to do with the attention. He’d never been looked at like this. He slipped by, sometimes being adopted by particularly strong personalities, but never the focus of the group. He tagged along like a kid sibling, but now he was a bona fide micro-celebrity.
He was waiting for people to lose interest. How long could people be endeared by his rural obliviousness and chicken and dumpling recipe?
Robby downloaded TikTok. Jake sent him videos sometimes, but he’d never bothered to make his own account. Not until all this.
He kept overhearing about more videos, and he and Jack just had to see them. They weren’t even all like the first one. Yeah, there were the pull-ups and CPR, but there were recipes, roommate grocery hauls, something called an ‘OOTD’ set to a song he remembered listening to on the radio twenty years ago, a video showing all the times Dennis had to change his scrubs in a week. Dennis looked like a baby deer in all of them. A little uncertain but biologically incapable of not being cute.
He wanted to be railed by him. Not exactly a defendable impulse, but Jack had a way of making him feel better about it. It’s almost an objectively wantable thing when two people are prepared to go for it.
They’d been talking about it between themselves ever since that video was passed around a little bit ago. They’d been doing things about it, too.
Robby was standing a little closer, and Abbot was going out of his way to joke with the younger man. They felt it was obvious. They didn’t want to be over the top, though. Wary of being the old men shamelessly going after the hot commodity.
It wasn’t obvious to Dennis, though. Sure, he’d gotten the ego boost of people flattering him online, but it didn’t change how he actually felt about himself deep down. He hadn’t gotten his first kiss until freshman year of college. No friend had ever confessed an attraction to him. His brothers all had girlfriends in high school and he had a 4.0. His mother assured him she was proud of him for working so hard, but she would always unspokenly be more proud of the weddings and grandchildren they were able to give her only a couple of years out of high school.
Dennis didn’t think he was ugly, which was almost worse. He was fine looking, he’d grown into his features well enough, and he had muscle definition but it wasn’t much to write home about for him. He’d seen better. He wasn’t ugly, so it must just be something about him. Something about the way he spoke or carried himself was off-putting enough to remove him for being a romantic prospect people took seriously.
It would all come out eventually, the more content Trinity made. People would see what everyone who had met Dennis in real life would eventually see. And they would leave. And Dennis would try to act above being hurt by it.
But for now, he’d accept the matching Labubu’s sent to him and his roommate. Someone was nice enough to make custom little scrubs for them so he couldn’t turn them down!
So, no, he didn’t think his attendings were flirting with him. He didn’t assign meaning to Robby’s thumb making circles on his arm or Abbot passively inviting him to go to the gym with him. It wasn’t even an option on his mind that people of high status and caliber would want him. Until Trinity said, “Dude, they want you so bad.” Abbot had just asked him if he was doing anything different for forearm definition and grip strength. Dennis told him about farmer walks.
“Huh?” He didn’t process what she said, typing too fast to divide his attention on a dime.
“They’re all like ‘Oh, Dennis. How’d you get so big and strong? Oh, Dennis, you did so good with that closed reduction, we really needed your counter force.’” She batted her eyes and made her voice high-pitched and girly when she said it.
Dennis looked at her blankly. “It’s not like that. You know they’re married.”
Trinity had a half smile, “And you know that doesn’t really exclude them from flirting with someone younger. You’ve watched TLC.”
“This isn’t Seeking Sister Wife.”
“No, it’s Seeking Younger Third!” Dennis was not in the mood for her jokes that were only funny to the asshole making them. He tried to stay on task.
Samira walked over and caught the tail end of the conversation, “Who’s looking for a third?”
Dennis said, “Nobody.”
“Dr. Robby and Dr.Abbot.”
Samira looked like she was calculating numbers in her head until she looked back at them, “Is that what’s going on? They’ve been so…attentive with Whitaker recently. I was worried he told them he was going to throw himself off the roof or something.”
Dennis groaned a little. “They’re our attendings. They literally have to be attentive to us. Same root word and everything.”
“Dr. Robby is honestly kinda mean to me,” Samira replied.
Trinity lit up a little at the barest prospect of talking shit or commiserating. “Low key me too!”
Dennis stood up to grab his discharge instructions from the printer under the desk while he said, “Then I suggest you document and report him.”
Trinity tilted her head a little to the side and said, “I would never report your boyfriend to HR.”
“Ugh, I can’t do this right now.” He couldn’t do this ever.
But the thought hung around in his head. What was the explanation for the shift? Dennis was acting the same at work. He wasn’t getting a big head or anything; he was still a little clumsy and overly caring. He made no changes to his life except for being a little slutty on the internet once in a while (at Trinity’s insistence, he might add.)
He came to the conclusion that they would move on too. This would be a little blip in his life where people imagined him to be more interesting than he was. People would find a new account to learn all about, and his attendings would find a new concept to spice up their marriage. He was good at waiting things out. It was perhaps the one useful skill hunting with his father taught him.
In waiting for the other shoe to drop, Dennis didn’t really notice the escalations. Some energy drink wanted to partner with them and sent enough cans and merch to get them through the rest of their residencies. A local restaurant they shouted out got so much business they now ate there for free (Dennis tipped the cost of the meal, uncomfortable with a small business feeding them for free). Robby and Abbot started texting him.
It started as Abbot talking about something he was publishing. Dennis said he couldn’t wait to read it and then he was sent access to the file before the fucking journal it was for. He could’ve said to just use his work email but Dennis was a weak, weak man. Obviously, he replied with his thoughts on the oddly humorous case write-up. Then Robby sent a Facebook meme and it all went to shit.
The men started sending selfies. Like, honest to god middle-aged, bear face selfies. Them at the park. Them at dinner. Them at a shift exchange when Dennis was sick enough that he couldn’t force himself to come in. Them in bed with a ‘Wish you were here….’
Dennis wished he were there too, shit. He had to show it to Trinity to double-check he was interpreting it right. She cackled when he asked. “Dude! Our bosses sent you a Gen X selfie, shirtless in bed, basically told you to get the fuck under their covers, and you’re asking me if you’re making it weird.” She grabbed the remote to unpause her YouTube video and said, “Go be a unicorn, Huckleberry! Fly off into the sunset on the aching backs of those old men.”
“That metaphor doesn’t even make sense!” He was putting on his beat-up Chucks by the door.
“Why are you still here? Go!”