Chapter Text
April 7th, 1986
Will stacks the last plate in the dish rack with a painful sigh, the skin of his hands wrinkly from being in water for too long and his nostrils filled with the disgusting combination of too sweet birthday cake and apple scented dish soap. His legs were slightly aching from standing by the kitchen sink for too long and he has to resist the second deep sigh that tickles inside his chest as he unplugs the sink and wipes off his wet hands on the kitchen towel.
He would try to remind himself for the near future to not let his mother bake another birthday cake, because one - it wasn’t the best cake none of them had ever tasted and second - since his mother made it, it was almost forced upon him that he was the one to do the dishes, him being her son and all. Number one made it just worse for number two, because if the cake tastes bad, no one will finish it and the one doing the dishes would have to spend a proper ten minutes scraping off the leftovers before even filling ger sink.
The entire day had been quite chaotic, and he was now longing desperately to lay down on the hard mattress on the basement floor and just snuggle down between the covers. He had suffered from back pain the first couple of nights, but now it was rather more starting to become his bed. Warm and comfy, the place he would go if he just wanted to be alone.
It was a proper change hanging out with the Wheeler’s all day, every day. Ted’s whining, Karens nonstop gossiping, Nancy and Jonathan's shared looks and awkward giggling - not to mention that Jonathan almost wakes him up every night by sneaking into her bedroom, and the consistent tension of being around Mike all the time. Their relationship had grown stronger since California, sure, but there was still something playing in the air that kept them from truly opening up towards one another.
Will felt it especially stronger today, with the celebration of Mike's birthday and all. They had spent the majority of the day biking around town trying to find ingredients for his birthday cake, and when they got home, they had drawn themselves to different rooms of the house doing different things until they were called for cake. Will found it a little extra hard trying to contain the ugly beast growing inside of him as he watched Mike open the small amount of birthday presents that his parents and Joyce had managed to stumble upon in town - with the town having a strict curfew and lock down, it was hard enough finding wrapping paper to even wrap the papers in. He looked so giggly and sweet, like a child on Christmas Eve - but with his eyes constantly wandering back to the phone on the wall, waiting for a special someone to call.
And that was the thing keeping them apart, keeping them from truly opening up to one another. El. Or rather, what was going on between the two of them. There was a tension so clear as day, and still Mike couldn’t find himself telling Will about what was going on. It had been just around two weeks since their big fight in Lenora, and even though Mike had just hinted about what the fight was about, Will could tell that it was about something serious enough to try and stay out of it.
But there it was again, the jealousy that hit him in California. He knew he was being selfish, being thankful that El wasn’t around in the van, giving Will the upper hand to actually have some alone time with him. He was even thankful now, when she had to stay away in a cabin in the middle of the woods and he could stay comfortably in Mike's house, sharing the same shower, toilet, kitchen table and even the same toothbrush mug. He was so stupid, so ignorant, so… childish. And so desperate.
“Hey, Will.” Mikes voice echos in the empty kitchen and Will spins around in surprise. Mikes standing there, by the other side of the kitchen, holding the VHS tape he had opened earlier in a present from his parents. He looks nervous, his eyes shining. Will finds him almost sweet looking, his cheeks shining a little pink as he reminds himself that Mike is actually looking at him. “You wanna watch Teen - Wolf? Jonathans out so we could watch in the basement if you want.” Mike wiggles the tape in his hand and Wills breath hitches for just a short second.
They hadn’t had time to be alone for over two weeks and with the kind of conversations they had actually shared in California and in the van, Will could feel a desperate need to follow it up, and he could almost sense that Mike felt it too. Like they had unfinished business that had been cut off when they came back to Hawkins.
“Yea- yeah, sure.” Will smiles back at him and nods, showing off his pearly white bunny teeth. A small, sweet taste of excitement enters his body as they start to walk around in the kitchen talking about how long they’ve wanted to see the movie while making popcorn. The same smile Mikes had all day is still lurking on his lips but seems to look deeper as they walk down the basement stairs with a big bowl of freshly popped popcorn and each a can of sugary soda. Mike closes the door behind them, leaving them in the dark before he turns on the desk lamp in the corner on his way to the sofa. Will sits down in a groan, putting down the bowl and his can on the table in front of him.
He watches carefully as Mike puts in the VHS tape into the tv, pushes the on button and rushes back to the couch before the movie starts rolling. Mike was probably one of the very few people Will know that actually loved watching movies and didn’t want to miss a single second of the movies that he’s watching. He had always admired that about him; because Will is the pure opposite. He loves watching movies, but he is also the kind of person that falls asleep mid through and wakes up again ten minutes before it’s finished. And that was something Mike had accepted a long time ago, so every time he asked Will to watch movies together, he already knew that he would need to explain it later so that Will would understand the ending. And a part of him found it quite cute.
“Popcorn?” Will takes the big bowl from the table and hands it to Mike. Who mumbles a soft “thanks” before he takes a handful and stuffs his mouth with them. Will places the bowl between them, his cheeks burning hot from happiness along with his chest, and his eyes finds their way on the television; even though he would rather just look back at Mike again and watch him get all full on heavily salted popcorns.
It’s an hour into the movie that Will is fighting against himself to stay awake. His eyes are heavy, his focus is spinning around to all the different things in the basement, and they land eventually on the mattress on the floor. Covers messy, pillow still pushed down from this morning. It looked so warm and comfortable.
He sighs softly and reaches out towards the popcorn bowl to grab another hand of the salty treats, but both his and Mike’s hand almost flies up from the bowl as Will’s hand slowly, accidentally, strokes the back of the other, sharing their warmth for just a second before both understand what happened.
“Sorry.” Mike burst out, his breath hitched as he looks at Will with a flustered expression on his face. Will only looks back, his fingertips tickling as he tries to remember the feeling of stroking Mike’s bare skin. His heart is beating like a rocket waiting for countdown, but he forces himself to look away just a few couple of seconds later.
“It’s fine.” He was just thankful that it was dark in the room, so neither of them could see the heavy beating of Wills heart being visible on the thin layer of his t-shirt. And on the other side of the couch, Mike’s wondering why his heart is playing catch and run with him all of a sudden, looking down at his hand where he can still feel the sensation of Wills stroking fingers - almost burning as if he had gotten touched by something hot.
May 11th, 1986
Mike can’t help but think about Will as he lays down in his bed for the night. He’s feeling worried about him, and not in the way that he usually does. Not in the way that he thinks he’s getting possessed again, or that there’s something worrying him that he refuses to talk about. Rather in the way that he’s worried about how the world is gonna treat him and look at him tomorrow.
He had sensed Will’s tension all week when the military announced that the cracks have been successfully covered and that school is back on track tomorrow. And that was what had worried Mike, and he guessed it was what caused Will to be so tensed as well. It was enough to know that he was being bullied all middle school, was found in the water by the quarry, then brought back to live, just to move away for almost a year and then suddenly be back. Mike knew for a fact that no one had forgotten his sudden disappearance in 1983. No on. He was still zombie boy to people and that’s exactly who he was gonna be as he enters school tomorrow.
He groans in his bed, moving around like a lost sheep trying to find its way back home. He was feeling so restless and it didn’t help that he actually wanted to sleep but wasn’t tired. He wanted to sleep so that he could just get it over with. But instead, he finds himself throwing himself up from the bed and start to dress himself again calmly. His naked body shivers from the cold air but immediately calms back down he pulls on a pair of blue flannel sweaters and a way too big Star Wars t-shirt.
He was very much aware of the time and that the majority of the household was already fast asleep as he slowly opens his creaking door and step into the empty hallway. He doesn’t even get to the stairs before he hears someone walking a few feet in front of him, up the stars. A dark silhouette enters his view, and an uncomfortable shiver runs down his spine as Jonathan enters the small light from the lit lamp by the window.
“Jonathan?”
“Mike? What are you doing up?” Jonathan is whispering violently, showing off every shame in his skinny body over the fact that Mike has caught him right-handed. There was no other reason for him to be up here other than visiting Nancy. And as the time was already almost one am, he didn’t even wanna think about what they would be doing as fast as that bedroom door was closed and locked.
“I-I…” he doesn’t know what to say, so he just goes with the truth. “I wanted to check on Will.” For some reason, he feels ashamed admitting to it.
“What, why?” Jonathan frowns. He’s still whispering but Mike knows there’s no use. Maybe if they tried to avoid waking up Holly, but both his parents were like two dead rats the second the fell asleep. His mother was using sleeping pills, and his father was a man in his late 40s - he didn’t need sleeping pills to be halfway to death while sleeping. He wouldn’t tell Jonathan this though, because it was fun watching him like this. So vulnerable.
“Just because.” Mike shrugs. He has some hint to why he wants to check on him, but he wasn’t gonna tell anyone that. It made HIM feel vulnerable, like if people knew how he always wanted to have control and know how Will was doing, that someone would use it against him. Rip of the bandaid, stab him in the fresh wound.
Jonathan just nods slowly, frowning. “He’s in the basement.” He says and they look at each other with judgmental eyes as they start waking opposite ways again, Jonathan further down the corridor towards Nancy’s bedroom and Mike towards the stars leading him to the stairs. His heart beats a little harder, almost faster too, when he takes the first step of the staircase. Why was he actually wanting to check on Will? He isn’t sure he truly knows why himself. The answer was there, and that was that he was worried about tomorrow and that he just wanted to check on how he was feeling. But it still feels like there was something more, something deeper inside him telling him that it wasn’t the only reason he wanted to sneak into the basement tonight.
It felt like they had been drifting apart lately but also like they were actually getting tighter. They don’t talk that often, but when they do, they really do have loads of fun and can share their deepest of thoughts with one another without being uncomfortable. Everything about it felt so sweet to Mike, like he was finally getting back a proper relationship with Will. Just like he had hoped and wished for. He has been fighting nonstop with trying to restore their relationship, just like he had promised to do back in California, but it felt so hard at times. There are so many emotions already busying around inside his head that it feels hard organizing them and knowing what feelings were connected to what problem.
He freezes in front of the basement door for a minute. Maybe two. He doesn’t know what to expect when he walks down, and the thought that he’s even bothering about what would happen was bothering him itself. Why is he so worried? It’s just Will. The same little boy who would practically live inside his house entire summers when they were children. The boy who could crawl into his bed in the middle of the night because of nightmares. The boy he had spent countless nights and days messing around with playing on his Nintendo and watching movies.
He sighs and takes ahold of the doorknob and walks down the small stairs to the basement, his eyes searching automatically after the young boy. He finds Will lying on the mattress on the floor – looking up at the ceiling with his hands resting on top of his bare chest. Something in Mikes chest twist inside of him as his eyes catches the view of his naked collarbones, pupils widening.
“Already back – Mike? What’re you-“ Will sits up from the mattress with heavy eyelids and pupils that turn vivid the second he doesn’t see his brother by the stair, but Mike, dressed in his oversized pajamas and messy curls. Mike swallows hard and takes the last couples of seps until his bare feet meet the basement floor. He would think about this when he fell asleep tonight, he just knew that. Will takes a steady, rushed grip of his covers and pushes it up over his torso, covering up most of his bare skin. Mike can sense even in the dim light that he is flustered. He would be as well if they had switched positions. “What are you doing here?”
“You’re awake.” Mike says instead of answering. He swallows down and finds it awfully hard and awfully easy to look away from Will’s naked collarbones onto the floor. What is going on with him tonight? His hormones are at its peak; that’s the only explanation he could come up with. He slowly walks over to the matress and sits down on the floor next to will, sighing as he looks at everything except the boy next to him.
“Yeah. Jonathan isn’t the best at sneaking around, you know.” Will mumbles with a deep sigh, calming himself down as he slowly lays back down on the mattress – the covers pushed up to his chin now, compared to when Mike had walked into the room and every little millimeter from Will’s navel up to his ears had been visible for Mike’s eyes to see.
“I don’t even wanna know what they are doing up there right now.” Mike mumbles, pushing up his knees to his chest with his arms crossed over them. He looks down at Will, waiting for a response. Will doesn’t say anything but gives mike a disgusted face, frowning and muttering out a quiet “Eww.” Mike chuckles lightly, his chest starting to let go off the tension he had built up on his way to the basement.
“How are you feeling?” He asks. Will looks back up at him again and rearrange his pillow underneath his head. “For tomorrow, I mean.” He continues. Will shrugs lightly and looks away. Mike gets the hint immediately. He has known Will for ten years, he knows when something is wrong. His hand takes a hold onto Will’s forearm before he even thinks about doing so. Something inside him switches the second the two boys skin meet, the second they start sharing body heat and the second both of their hair sacks react into an obvious flow of goosebumps. Something inside him switches – and he liked it. He liked the feeling of being able to comfort Will physically, the thought of stroking his arm if he was to open up to him, to be able to caress the soft skin of his hand. Most of all, he felt thankful that they were all alone down here in the dark.
Cause even though it was a touch pure by heart, he didn’t want someone else to see or share this moment. H e wanted to walk out of here tonight and know that this moment would be an intimate teaser that only the two of them would know about. He wanted to be able to sit down at the breakfast table tomorrow, with Will at his side as always, help him pour his coffee and not even ask about how many sugar cubes he wanted in it – because he already knew. A month ago, he had also known how much milk he wanted – even though he never acted on it. He was an observer.
Will looks up at him, eyes a little more widened than before. Mike looks back.
“It’s okay, really.” Will licks his dry lips and looks away from Mikes eyes, glancing down at his star wats t-shirt before his eyes meet the ceiling again. “I’m just nervous, I guess. I never thought I would have to go back to school here, with the same classmates I had in middle school and stuff. Those people are practically strangers to me.” He sighs.
“You’ve got me.” Mike’s answer is too fast, and he realizes it quickly enough. “And Lucas, and Dustin. We’re no strangers, and that something, right?” Mike adds in a hurry and removes his hand from Will’s forearm. He regrets it almost immediately because his hand turns cold as ice, as if Will was the one keeping him from freezing to death. But putting it back would be too weird.
“Yeah, that’s something. Thanks.” Will mumbles, eyes going back to be heavily lidded and sleepy. Mike can’t help but smile a little.
“No problem. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Yah.”
June 10th, 1986
Will felt like it went faster than he thought to get into usual routines with school again. He got up, ate breakfast with the rest of his own and the Wheeler family, take Nancy’s old bike and ride to school with Mike and Holly, and he had finally understood where all the classrooms were. It helped a lot that Mike, Dustin and Lucas had went the year before and practically knew all the teachers and how the classes looked like. And it helped even better that he shared almost all of their classes, except individual choice, where he had taken art instead of extra history classes like the others. Will sucked at history, but Art he was good at.
The only difficult part of the new routines was the lack of clothes he owned and that Jonathan always forgot to set an alarm. His mother had bought him some new clothes before the start of school and even though he had gotten at least three new pairs of everything, he could still find the drawers in the basement empty in the mornings. And with actually having new clothes to wear, it came other things to be bothered about. For an example, Mike’s wardrobe was ten times bigger and stuffed with clothes. Clothes no one recognized as his and only piled up in one of the “teenage boys” piles while doing the laundry – and since Will’s pile would always be smaller than the other, it became almost obvious that the clothes belonged to Will’s pile – which it didn’t.
And today was one of those days where he had woken up to an empty drawer of shirts and only sighed when looking over at the pile of Mike’s clothes on the dresser. He had started to stack them, so used to getting clothes that wasn’t his. It was getting tiring giving mikes his clothes back every day, so it had just started to become a habit of saving them all week and then give them back on Sunday, when the last laundry had been dried and folded.
He hesitates for a second, before grabbing the shirt at the top of the small pile and puts it on, the soft fabric feeling pleasantly smooth against his bare skin. A shiver runs down his entire body when the shirt is on, covering his chest, stomach, back collars. The body hair on his neck and arms stands upright, his eyes closing as he embraces the feeling off the shirt. Mike’s shirt, that he had seen him in three days earlier when they had sat by the dinner table eating Sunday supper. A rush of excitement runt through his body and he has to bite down into the inside of his lips to keep himself from acting on his feelings.
Something had changed inside of him the night Mike had visited him in the basement. He couldn’t look at him the same; and every time he did look at him, he replayed that night as if it was the most natural thing ever. Even though nothing has actually happened between them, he had been left with a gulp inside his throat and a tension inside - and under – his abdomen. Teasing, aching, wanting him to act into it.
To his surprise, no one noticed that he wasn’t wearing someone else’s clothes until lunch, when he sat down with the rest of the party at lunch and started nibbling on his sliced carrots, effortlessly crunching them between his front teeth.
“Are you wearing Mike’s clothes?” Says Lucas. Both Will, Dustin and Mike look up at him at the same time, like a symmetrical wave of curious eyes. Will blushes before he even gets to meet Lucas' gaze.
“Oh.. I didn’t-“ Will can’t help but meet Mikes eyes. They are shining, looking down on his shirt with a confused look, almost as if he tries to figure out if it’s actually his shirt or not. His eyes widen only a millimeter or so when it hits him. “I didn’t have any clean clothes, and my mum always mess up our clothes so...” he starts to ramble but stop talking the minute he has said enough. He wasn’t supposed to be embarrassed about this, because it wasn’t supposed to be a big thing. He was meant to say something as easy like “Didn’t have any clean clothes. Sorry dude.”
But he just couldn’t think about it like that. He hadn’t worn Mikes clothes in years, and he couldn’t deny the excitement that aroused him into a semi-hard erection every time he thought about it. Him wearing Mike's too big, too soft, too Mike scented shirt. If he could remember correctly, the thought of sneaking into the bathroom for just a minute or two and jerk one out before school had actually happened. He didn’t do it cause like always – they were running late, but the thought had stayed with him all morning.
“It’s fine, yeah.” Mike looks at him with a big puppy eye and shapes a small smile on his lips when he finishes taking. Wills inside twist painfully.
“How couldn’t you notice he was wearing your clothes? Do you even put attention to what you’re wearing, dude?” Lucas mumbles next to him and Will looks back down on his plate and goes back to nibbling on his carrots. He listened carefully, pretending not to care.
“I don’t know! It’s not like I usually care about what other people are wearing.”
The bell rings a few minutes later and Will stands up from his seat and collect his things onto the tray. He can see in the corner of the eye how Mike stands up with his tray in his hands and how his eyes lay on Will as he stands still, waiting for him. Will looks up at him briefly. “Huh?”
Mike shrugs effortlessly at him when Will finally stands up properly with the tray in both hands. “Wanna accompany me to chemistry?” His eyes wander fast and uncertainly up and down, actually, all over the boy in front of him. Will can’t help but feel ashamed by his appearance.
“Yeah, sure.” He looks over at the end of the canteen and watches as Dustin and Lucas vanished out the entrance. A small stone starts to build up inside his chest as they take lead towards the door, throwing away their trays and silverware in the dish before leaving the big room.
Will was pretty certain he was starting to go mad, with how unstoppable his thoughts had started to act. Maybe it was because of hormones and finally getting into the age of experimenting and things, but he wasn’t sure. There was something between him and Mike that made him feel like this – something invisible, something untouchable. But it could be felt, like sparkles.
Maybe he was the only one who felt it. Maybe Mike felt I too, but not in the same way that Will did. Maybe he was just crazy, thinking about his best friend this way. But anyhow, has there ever been a time where he hadn’t thought of Mike this way?
Maybe the sexual thoughts were new and unique, but the feeling itself had probably been there since they were small kids. The yearning of hugging him or talking to him, even making him laugh or making him look at him. It had always been there but gotten more and more hard to resist and more desperate with every year that passed on.
“You know.” Mike says and Will almost jumps out of his thoughts. The hallway was starting to get quiet and empty with all of the other students being way faster than them to get to class. It was the last class of the season. They were finally finishing freshman year tomorrow. “You should keep it. The shirt, I mean.”
Will stops in his steps and Mike looks back at him with a little frown between his eyebrows as he too stops walking. “Mike, no. I possibly couldn’t. It’s... I-”
“Will, calm down. It’s just a shirt. I have like 20 of those.” Mike looks him in the eyes and gives him a smile. Will looks back. “It looks better on you anyway.” Their shared look breaks and Mike starts walking again. It only takes a second or left until Will starts following him.
But it wasn’t the shirts worth that was bothering him. It was just a basic, one colored navy-blue shirt that probably came in a three pack from target or something. Cheap, nothing much. But it was Mike’s. And how could Will possibly keep up the hard work on fighting back his thoughts and feelings towards the taller boy if he had a shirt that smelled like him? That felt like him, that showed how soft it would be to hug him or stroke his hands over his back or give him such vivid fantasies that he would probably end up wearing it even in the shower. Or put it on in the middle of the night, to let his hand wander all over his body while inhaling Mike’s scent and then fall asleep with that very scent.
It would be impossible. And yet, he loved it.
July 17th, 1986
Since Max still showed no signs of waking up and El had no choice but spend the majority of her time training or at home, it became quite clear that Will would spend the majority of the summer with Lucas, Dustin, Mike, Nancy and Jonathan.
Nancy and Jonathan had their own stuff going on and was currently too busy with helping Steve and Robin to set up a radio station to even drive the boys to get ice cream in a 28°C heat. Will didn’t know too much about it, just that he was excited and was counting down the days for the first broadcast. He had even saved up money from helping out the neighborhoods with some works to buy himself a proper radio.
Not to mention that Dustin had been starting to act weird and that was something that Will could barely get a hand on. He had no idea what was going on there.
Mike hung around for most of the time, but since he now had a lot of free time, he spent more time visiting El in the woods and Will couldn’t help but feel a little hurt when he would come back late afternoon, missing dinner. They woke up together, ate almost every meal together, even stopped bothering if their mums exchanged their clothing, and still – Will felt jealous he spent 3 hours with his girlfriend 3 days a week. Almost as if he was supposed to stay home so that they could talk or play with water-guns with holly in the backyard, hear each other moan about the hot weather and glance at one another while chugging big glasses of water.
He was very well aware of that most of those things only meant things for him, though. He wasn’t stupid. Mike never glanced at him while spilling water down his chin or felt the burning view of watching him get sprayed with water until his t-shirt would slick into his skin. He didn’t stay up late at night wearing will clothes, staring up into the ceiling while begging for his brother to disappear for only a few minutes so he could get some alone time. To finally let his crazy fantasies free and enjoy them.
It takes over a month into summer break until Mike finally takes an initiative to do something with Will alone. A month before he comes home from El one day, sighing louder than usual before he throws himself down next to Will on the couch, closer than usual, and says “Let’s go do something.”
“What would that be? It’s so hot.” Will looks at him with a frown before he looks back at the television. He is wearing short, brown cargo shorts and one of Mike’s t-shirts that slipped into his pile of freshly folded clothes last night. Too big, too soft and too Mike.
“We could go bathing. Loves lake shouldn’t have too many people now, right? With the earthquake and all.” Mike says. He looks over at the coffee table and grabs the half drunk can of seven up. Will watches him carefully as he places the metal can to his lips and starts chugging the cold liquid, jawline clenching with every swallow. His legs tighten against each other.
“Well, duh. People think it’s radioactive or something.” Will mumbles and fight his eyes away from Mike. Both of them knew that it was totally safe however, but that was something they kept for themselves and the party. The military had closed up everything with the cracks – even in lovers lake. None of them had wanted to go back there though.
“Then, let’s go.” Mike pushes himself off the couch, still holding onto the can of soda.
Before Will really gets a concept of time and space, he’s sitting on Nancy’s old bike again and cycling up coal mill road towards lovers' lake with a backpack filled with swimwear, snacks, soda and a towel. Mike had insisted on only bringing one backpack and Will had insisted on taking it since Mike had already been out in the heat that day.
It was indeed empty when they arrived, drawing only more nervousness to Will and his stupid, beating, heart. A lone with Mike in their swimwear, late summer afternoon in the middle of July. It has to be a dream come true.
“Did you ever find someone in California?” Asks Mike when they park their bikes by a couple of trees. Will look up at him, a little surprised from the sudden question, but mostly confused.
“Find what?” He asks.
“I don’t know, a girlfriend maybe? I know I wasn’t that good at keeping contact with you, but I-” Mike says and Will can see on his face that he’s starting to question his own conversation starter. “I always thought that you would move on from us so easily, so I didn’t want to keep you away from finding something greater.”
He’s taking off his shirt, and for once, Will isn’t looking away as he does so. He watches as Mike expose his bare chest, his collarbones, his beautifully shaped back and stomach. He looks beautiful.
“No.” He looks away when Mike looks up at him after throwing his shirt on the ground. “Nothing like that.” He still feel a bitter sweetness thinking about the relationship Mike and he had while he was living in California. All those days just wanting for a call or a letter – or something! But nothing. He was totally forgotten.
Will yank off his – or rather Mike’s – shirt from his body and hangs it carefully on his bike before he opened up the backpack and dig his hand in looking for the two pair of swimwear. He hands one pair to Mike and they turn around, letting their backs face one another as they easily slip out of their shorts and into their swimwear. It’s reckless, and exciting, and Will regrets for a second that he didn’t put them on at home before they left instead.
“I was too busy taking care of El, I think. She had a hard time getting around so I spent most of my free time with her too.” Will mumbles, sneaking an eye backwards and watches as Mike pulls up his swimwear the last three centimeters of his waist. For some reason he felt like he needed to explain the fact that he hadn’t gotten a girlfriend in California. He was, no matter the less, the only one in the party without a partner. And that was probably the only thing stopping him. He wanted a partner, not a girlfriend.
“It’s fine, Will. You’ll find your person. All of us will sooner or later.” Mike says. He takes a few steps towards the shorter boy and places his right hand on his shoulder. He digs in his fingers slowly, yet lightly, clapping it there once before he removes it completely and leaves Will stunned on the beach while walking down into the water. Will watches him from behind, amazed, every inch of his body tickling.
God, how he wanted Mike to come back out of the water and place his hands on his body again. But instead, he puts way his restless thought in the “no touching until alone time” box and joins Mike in the water.
“Is there…” he wonders about what he’s gonna say for a second. “Is there something you want to tell me?” He asks. Mike gives him a glance before he throws himself into the lukewarm water, letting all of him get soaked before he throws himself above the surface again. Will watches him, water up to his thighs.
“Come on, dude! It’s so cool in here.” Mike looks at him as he drags his hands over his face and slicks back his dark curls. Wills heart throws a backflip before he slowly nods and lets himself sink down towards the water, shivers running around his skin like a war of goosebumps. The sun was starting to set, but it was still light enough for Will to watch the sunlight lit up Mike’s wet face and hair.
Mike looks at him for a second until the water hits Will’s collarbones. He doesn’t smile anymore, but he doesn’t look sad or bothered either.
“It’s El.” He speak. Loud enough for Will hear it as clear as day, even if there were a few feet between them. He studies Mikes expression softly as he slowly starts to take a few steps forward, eventually with the water hitting his chin. “We broke up.”
Will doesn’t know what to say. A part of him feels scared, another feels thankful and the last feel sorry for him. How many years had them been together now? Three? Yeah, probably around there.
“Wh-” Will shakes his head and looks down on the water. When he looks back up again, Mike is swimming towards him. “Why?”
Please say something. Tell me something I won’t be able to stop thinking about tonight. Please tell me something so beautiful and scary that I will want to throw myself at you right now, right here.
“It was mutual. I think we just feel like none of us have the motivation or interest of being in a relationship right now.” Mike says.
Will doesn’t know how to respond, so he just nods slowly. His body goes hot, his face too, as he turns around and dives into the water – let’s it cool down every part of him, even the aching pain inside his chest.
October 31st, 1986
Halloween had always been the favorite holiday between the party members. No matter how old they got, there was always a huge excitement dressing up as different characters or costumes, messing around like little kids and eating loads and loads of candy.
The meaning of Halloween had really changed a bit for two years ago when Dustin had found Dart, but since they were the entire part for the first time to celebrate together since then, they chose to have a sleepover all together, watch scary movies and eat so much snacks that they'd be throwing up the following morning.
The sky had gone dark hours ago when they finally enter the basement in the Wheeler house, groaning and moaning from their three hour walk around Hawkins. They had all collected each big bin filled with candy to the very brim, and Will couldn't wait to get into it as they settled down the bins on the coffee table.
"I can't believe we still get this much. Can't people see that we're kids anymore?" Dustin asks and he takes out a package of big-league chew, throws one in the mouth effortlessly.
"Doesn't surprise me! Look at that baby face of yours!" Mike bursts out as he shuffles off his costume, Will watching for just a short second before he turns around to look at something else. His mattress on the floor, the couch where Lucas was busy pulling off his shoes and then eventually to his grey overall where he started to unbutton.
A few minutes later, he's pressed between the armrest of the couch and Mike, the large candy jar in his lap and his fingers playing around its plastic edge as he watches Halloween on the tv in front of them. They were finally allowed to see it – since they all had finally passed the PG15 recommendation that Will's mother had strictly refused to see through her fingers.
His thigh is pressed to Mikes, something he tries his best not to think about. Something he doesn't think about. Something that doesn't stop him from craving the candy in the jar and watch the tv. Something that doesn't cause him to shift around in his seat every five minutes. Begging, praying, that it's not visible how nervous he is by the constant body contact. Praying that Mike doesn't notice how his eyes shift to look at him every other second.
But he doesn't. Mike's eyes are on the tv, his hand unwrapping bar after bar of sweet chocolate and chewing it loudly while arguing about topics of the movie with Lucas and Dustin.
"Hey, Will. Where is Jonathan supposed to sleep tonight?" Lucas leans forward to look at Will. Will turns his head at him fast and has to clear his thoughts before answering, too embarrassed of his train of thoughts that Lucas had interrupted.
"Uh, um.. Mom's sleeping at Hoppers tonight so he'll just take the extra bed upstairs." He answers. Lucas scoffs and mumbles something like "yeah sure, we all know where that's gonna go" and goes back into sagging on the couch. Obviously, he was pointing out the fact that he was gonna sneak into Nancy's bedroom again. Like always.
"Can we focus on the movie, please?" Dustin interrupts Mike and Lucas who continued the conversation further – complaining.
Somewhere in the middle of the second horror movie of the night, Will passes out leaning against the armrest. He doesn't remember what the last thing he saw from the movie was or if he had even touched a piece of candy – but he does wake up from someone touching him. It's not the usual, rough shake from someone trying to wake you up. It's sweet, soft, meant to go untouchable. But Will notices it.
He can hear the tv still running in the background, and the other boys talking about how Will always fall asleep while they're watching movies. He wants to sit up and protest, but he doesn't. He stays still; his eyes closed as he just takes in the feeling of Mikes fingers on his thigh.
"Do you think he's okay? With everything going on?" Lucas mumbles and Will can almost feel them looking at him. He expects mikes finger to disappear. But they don't. They just rest there, gently, on top of his sweaters.
"How am I supposed to know?" Mike whispers back, a little aggressive in his tone.
"Because you're his best friend, dude! He practically only talks to you about that shit." Lucas says back, loader.
"We don't talk that much anymore, Lucas. And I-"
Will realizes it's time to cut it off. He shifts in his seat, and he feels how Mikes hand almost flies away from him, but not far. Will doesn't realize why Mike suddenly decided to touch him like that until he opens his eyes and notice that he's lying underneath a blanket, shared with the boy next to him. That's why. No one had seen his hand, and he had probably not even thought about it either. It had gone unnoticed until he had felt wills body move. That was the only explanation.
"What are y'all yelling about?" Will mumbles sleepy and rubs his eyes with the back of his hands. His skin feels cold, empty. Almost as if those brushes off Mike's fingertips against his thigh was the battery to his lifeline. That he now was running out of time, energy, to keep living. Mike had removed his hand from his body and he was now dying.
December 25th, 1986
Will was pretty sure that he had gone mad, completely. Or that his head had gone blank and gotten filled with filthy thoughts that he didn't want to have inside of him. Thoughts about him, thoughts about mike, thoughts about what they could do - alone, and together. He was being corrupted by the sin of lust and longing - through and through. There was no doubt about it.
For the most part, he kept it inside of him. Late nights tossing and turning on his hard mattress, aching body parts and a heart that he wished would stop beating. Some nights he just cried the thoughts away, his hand pressed to his mouth to keep quiet as his body spasmed out the pain in to his palm. It wasn't easy for sure, not knowing what was going on inside his body and mind.
He even thinks about it when he comes up from the basement after leaving off his Christmas gifts by his bed. His chest aching, hair messy from trying to wipe the thoughts off his face, cheeks red from embarrassment. It felt like everyone knew what he was thinking about wherever he went, and that made it especially hard living with the one person that actually was the cause of these horrible thoughts.
"Are you okay?" Will jumps and looks at the person standing next to the basement door, leaning against wall. Mike. It looks like he's been waiting for Will to come back up, like he had been standing there for at least two minutes or more, listening to him walk around on the basement floor while groaning and sighing of frustration.
"Yes, of course." Will mumbles and looks away, his chest heating up inside of him and his heart beating even faster than before. He couldn't stand this anymore. He couldn't stand ignoring it anymore, the heat inside of him. The way his body ached. "Why wouldn't I be?" He starts to walk away but gets stopped in his tracks when mike ruches forward and takes ahold of his wrist. Will spins around, lips parted with a hitched breath and eyes widened.
"Why can't you just talk to me?" Mike takes a step forward. He gets too close, their faces only half a feet between their noses. He's standing way too close for Will to ignore it. His eyes flashes down to Mikes lips for just a pinch of a second, but the second he does so, he knows he's too late cause Mike is still staring at him. He has seen what he did and he would not be able to undo it. But Mike ignores it. "You know you can talk to me, right? I'm here for you whatever's happening."
"Whatever's happening? Nothing is happening, Micheal." Will mutters, still staring into mikes eyes as he watches them grow with confusing. They look almost hurt. They had both sensed it - their relationship growing into something new, something they couldn't understand. None of them knew what was going on and it caused a lot of confusion and frustration between the two. Maybe it was just usual behavior around teenage boys. Maybe Wills thoughts and feelings were normal. Maybe the extremely small space between their faces didn't mean anything at all. But none of them had the answers to anything, cause they were just two stupid teenage boys - living for the first time.
"I know that something is going on. You've been acting weird since Halloween. Have i done something to piss you off?" Mike mumbles, almost whispers. His eyes flashes behind Wills head for a short second, marking sure that the rest of their families is still enjoying themselves in the living room. "Have I done something to... I don't even know what you're feeling. Can you just please open up a little for once?" He's looking down on his sock covered feet. Will is watching him carefully, lips still parted - dry, steady breaths.
"You- You haven't done anything." Will whispers back. His eyes soften a little, he lets his face fall out of tension, his pounding heart starts to calm down. He feels the scent of mikes hair from where he's standing - still looking down. It looks soft, extra beautiful with the combination of his pale skin and dark purple sweater. A part of him wants to hold out his hand and touch him, another part wants to throw himself at him all at once, and the last part want someone to walk into the hallway this very second so that Mike could let go off his arm and the would get separated. "Really." His voice is so low that Mike eventually looks up at him with dilated pupils and hair falling down over his forehead. He looked like an angel. Will can feel his body react effortlessly by just looking at him. His breath hitches a little, jeans getting tighter around his waist.
"Are you sure?" Mike moans with a low, raspy voice and leans forward, his forehead bumping into wills chest. Will freezes in his movements and just stands still staring into the wall in front of him as he takes in the feeling of Mike being so close to him. He knew he could hear the beating of his heart, his heat through his clothes. He loved and feared it so deeply at the same time. He wanted to stay like this, to stay with Mikes forehead pressed against is chest, forever. Maybe somewhere more private, where he could let his heart do its thing and beat him into his own death. Where his impulse could take control. "I don't want us to fight. And I want you to talk to me."
"Sure." Will says quickly, his voice still low - but high enough for Mike to hear as clear as day. His head disappear from Will's chest and looks up at him with innocent, hopeful eyes. "I'll tell you what's going on. But not now."
"Yes, absolutely. Of course, of course. I- we could..." Mike takes a step back and bite into his lip, trying to hide the innocent smile that creeps in the corner of his bottom lip. "We could have a sleepover, in my room. Tomorrow? Or whenever you feel ready or I don't know real-"
"Tomorrow's fine." Will interrupts. He was starting to panic a little bit. His body wasn't calming down and the view of Mike, Mike, Mike was only making it worse. The thought of having a sleepover in his room was the last straw. He can't hold it back anymore. "I'm just gonna... go to the restroom. I'll see you later." He mumbles. He doesn't wait for Mikes response before he turns his heels and start heading towards the stairs. If he had been paying enough attention to his surroundings, the top floor was empty and he wouldn't be bothered if he just sneaked into the bathroom to calm himself down for a bit.
"Yeah, sure." Mike says and watches as Will disappears upstairs. Will sneaks into the bathroom as fast as he can, feet light and almost inaudible when they swim over the floor. The loudest thing around is when he closes and locks the bathroom door behind him. His eyes flash down towards his aching abdomen the second the door is shut, his hands flying down towards his fly and undoes the zipper and silver button. His breaths are heavy and unsteady, even though he hasn't even placed a single finger on himself yet. He leans down towards the bathroom wall, his head hitting the coldness of it as he lets himself lean over the counter uncomfortably.
It takes him a second to decide what to do.
And that's when he does it. During the late evening of Christmas, he finally gives in. He lets his hands wander down towards his waist, take a hold of his pants and bowsers and push them down to his knees. The coldness hits his hard crotch, causing an uncomfortable but exciting shiver to run down his skin. He takes a hold of himself, a loud gasp leaving his dry lips.
Of course he had done this before, but never like this. Never when he needed to. Never when it called him. Only, and just only, when he wanted to and when he called for it. While teasing himself up to it, while trying to picture the pretty girls he had seen in Jonathan old magazines or just kissing someone. Never in his entire life had he ever given into an unwritten erection before.
He closes his eyes as he makes the first stroke down, his front teeth sinking down into his juicy bottom lip. God, he needed this. He needed it so much. And he was so tired of holding back that it almost felt unbelievable finally giving into it. Like the best feeling he had ever touched or tasted. Like eating your favorite meal for the first time, completely unknowing that it was going to be your favorite.
Mike's eyes reappear in front of his shut eyes as his eyes keep on sliding up and down, causing a perfect friction. He can feel himself getting more wet for every stroke, and it doesn't take him more than just a few seconds before he realizes what he can use it for, sliding his dry thumb over the wet head, smearing it around his cock for the sweetness of soaking the frictions. A quiet moan leaves his throat as he takes the first wet stroke. And another one when the phase quickens, and another, and another, and another.
He tells himself that everything is downstairs. That the doos is locked. That no one would hear him even if he removed his teeth from his bottom lip. So he lets himself make sounds. He lets himself loose the grip off his lip and part them instead, breaths heavy, lips soaked as he keeps licking them over and over with his pink tongue.
He can feel his orgasm close in on him and he can see Mike lean down to press his head on his chest. He can feel Mike's fingers stroke the inside of his thigh, he can see Mike's wet hair as he appears out of the surface of lovers lake. He can see Mike's wet skin, shining in the sunlight and -
He grabs a hold of his shirt and stuffs it inside his shaky teeth as he leans back towards the counter, his hand fastening even more - filling up the entire bathroom with wet sounds as he strokes up and down in a steady rhythm. Mikes eyes look at him, innocently, deeply, irises shrinking brown as he finally feels the orgasm hit him. His hips thrust up onto his hand as the thick liquid covers his naked stomach.
He takes a bunch of paper and starts cleaning it up as fast as he's come down again. Cheeks flushed and jaw painful as they're still clenched around his thick sweater. He toss the paper in the toilet, flushes and washes his hands silently, his breath still a little heavy and hands shaking. And that when it comes, the fear, the realization, the image of his own face in the bathroom mirror. He can see the memory of Mike's face inside of him, the feeling of touching himself as he was imagining it in front of him. He feels ashamed, scared.
He feels like a mistake. And he knew already then that he wouldn't be able to sleep in the same room as Mike without losing control. Ever.