Work Text:
At first, he thought the glimpse of distinctive silver hair had been a figment of his imagination because there was no way it could be real. It wouldn’t have been the first time that Gon thought he had seen something and it turn out to be nothing. His mind had played tricks on him before. Leorio had told him that it was just “wishful thinking”. For five years he had hoped time and time again that he would see Killua, only to face bitter disappointment when it turned out to be nothing but his overly active imagination.
Yet now here he was in Yorknew, standing across the street in front of a stylish hotel, waiting for a cab. It looked as if he had been staying at the hotel and was on his way to the airport. Gon felt his pulse start to race and cheeks burn as he took in Killua’s appearance.
The years had been kind to him. He was still tall and lean. His had grown his hair out slightly and it now reached his shoulders. The white locks were pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck and out of the way. His face showed slight signs of aging; as a result his laugh lines were clearly visible and a wrinkle or two had appeared on his forehead. Gon thought he looked gorgeous.
Gathering his courage, Gon called out to get his attention. “Killua…” he called. Upon hearing his name, Killua’s head snapped up and he locked eyes with Gon. The sapphire orbs wide in surprise as he as he recognized who had called him.
Gon’s breath caught in his throat as their eyes met. The distance between them seemed to shrink as he focused on Killua. The last five years had done nothing to change his eyes. They were still a stunning sapphire that gleamed in the sunlight. The orbs slightly shadowed by darkness, giving them a deep soulful look. His gaze seemed to be trying to take into every detail of his face and body, while Gon desperately tried to do the same.
Before he knew it, Gon was standing in front of him. He did not know when his legs had decided to subconsciously start moving however, he was across the street standing in front of a man that he was not completely sure wasn’t a ghost. It was as if they were both too afraid to speak that any sound could ruin the moment and the other would disappear as quickly as they appeared.
“Hi,” he heard Killua whisper hesitantly. His voice soothing as it washed over him. It had been too long since Gon had last heard it.
“Hi, What are you doing in Yorknew? ” he replied earnestly.
“I was just here for a job” Killua answered as if it was obvious. Now that Gon thought about it Yorknew seems to be overrun with criminals and he was a Blacklist hunter.” On my way to the airport now. My airship leaves in about an hour” he continues.
“Oh yeah. I would ask you if you caught the person, but we both know the answer to that is yes. You would never leave a job until it was finished. ” Gon says.
“True. I’m just that good” Killua chuckles.
“I think not” he quips, chuckling with Killua. The moment almost feeling normal. As if things had gone back to the way they were.
“Whatever” Killua gruffs as he rolls his eyes.
Suddenly a cab pulls up to the curb, stopping in front of where they are standing. “It was good seeing you, Killua,” Gon says honestly.
"You too. We should meet up sometimes” he offers.
“Sure” Killua accepts appeasingly.
“Well, see you later,” Gon said carefully as he could not bear to say the word goodbye now. It was too final and after that short interaction, he wanted more. More of Killua in all the way he couldn't have him.
“See you, Gon” is Killua's response before moving to get in the cab as Gon turned to walk away.
He had barely crossed the street when he felt on hand on his arm. The touch sending a chill up his body. He turned around to see Killua staring down at him. His eyes full of emotion.
“How?” he says brokenly. Gon knows exactly what he is talking about. It was the same question that he asked himself almost every day. How did they did end up like this? Divorced and distant?
They had done everything right. After the World Tree, Killua traveled with Alluka and Gon finally met Ging and then went to regain his Nen. After about year, old wounds had healed.Killua had forgiven Gon a long time ago and he apologized to Gon for assuming he knew what was best for him and not saying anything. They had healed and moved on.
They traveled the world again without a care in the world. Alluka training with Wing-san, meaning Killua was free to do as he pleased without worrying about trying to protect her. He had made a wish of Nanika to keep Illumni from finding them. He did not know exactly how Nanika had accomplished that, but he had not heard from his family in over a year.
He and Gon traveled the world for about a year, before going their separate ways again. However, this time, was different. They kept in contact through texts, calls, and emails. The nature of their relationship shifted from being strictly platonic to something more.
They officially starting dating at 17 and got married at 23. Many people had told them they were too young , yet they did not care. They had been through hell and back together and were not going to waste any more time in starting their life together. They were a team.They may have been young, but they knew life was short.
The wedding was a small affair. The guest a mix of their close friends. It was held at Whale Tail Island on the beach at sunset. The grooms wore suits instead of tuxedos. Mito-san cried the entire ceremony. She had welcomed Killua and Alluka into the family with open arms.
Alluka was the flower girl and Morel-san officiated the wedding. Also, Leorio and Kurapika served as their best men.
Killua and Gon wrote their own vows, and Gon was crying by the time Killua finished his. His face was flushed in embarrassment from verbalizing how much he cared for Gon in front of a crowd, but he had done it for him. Killua seemed to know that their wedding day was one of those days that Gon needed to be reassured that he was loveable and that he loved him.
The first seven years of their marriage was amazing. Wonderful, even. The best years of Gon’s life. They were blissfully happy and in love. They argued from time to time, however, they always made up quickly. Gon did not think he could ever love someone more than Killua.
As they started to get busier and busier, they saw each other less and less. The first year, Gon stayed optimistic and hopeful that they could work things out. That things would get better. It wasn’t as if Killua was neglecting him on purpose, they were just busy.
Then one year became two. The touches became less frequent. They started talking less and started living two separate lives. He loved Killua so he stayed and fought for his marriage, yet it started to seem like he was the only one fighting.
After nine years of marriage, Gon did not know how much more of this he could take. He had been waiting for two years to get his husband back, but they seemed to be growing further apart. He and Killua fell into old habits and stopped communicating with each other. Gon knew it was only a matter of time before Killua would leave him too. Like everyone else. He was just unlovable or that is how he felt.
His world changed in an instant when Killua came home and said those fateful words. “ I can’t do this anymore, Gon. I’m just so tired.”
“Me too” Gon murmured. He was so tired. Tired of waiting for things to get better. Tired of Killua shutting him out. Tired of trying. He had tried so hard, but it takes two to make a relationship work and Killua was always gone and so was he. He loved him, but it wasn’t enough. Love just wasn’t enough anymore.
Here they were five years later. It felt like his nerves were exposed and raw. The ache in his chest becoming heavier as he heard Killua sounding so broken and dejected as he asked him how.
“I don’t know,” Gon said as he hung his head. His heart breaking slightly as he could not give Killua an answer. There had never been one defining moment where they had grown apart. It happened gradually without rhythm or reason. Small hits to their relationship that had left it wounded and unrepairable.
Gon felt a finger under his chin and tilting his head upward so that Killua could look into his eyes.
“We should really meet up sometimes,”Gon uttered hopefully as he reached up to brush the hair out of Killua’s face.
“I can’t,” Killua said.
“I know” he responded.
“Yeah…I should go.” Killua said after clearing his throat. His voice still raw with emotion.
“Yeah, see ya” Gon stated ruefully as he turned and walked away. Killua hand falling away from his arm as he let go.