Chapter Text
Mike Wheeler never liked Nancy’s past boyfriends.
In fact, it would be much more apt to say he hated them. Loathed them really.
First, there was Steve “The Hair” Harrington. He was a hair-product-using, car-polishing, dumb-smiling jerk. If that wasn’t bad enough, he was also a jock. Mike was a nerd. By rules of nature and comic book law, Mike was obligated to hate him.
Then came Jonathan. He had known him almost as long as he had known Will. Quiet. Awkward. Supposedly "nice". Except the Wheeler household had thin walls, and he had heard too many late-night muffled sobs over the phone. Nancy always brushed it off in the morning, claiming she was fine.
So, Mike came to a conclusion: Boyfriends = bad. Boyfriends = tears. Boyfriends = Mike Wheeler's sworn enemy.
When Nancy started acting…suspicious… he knew evil was afoot.
She was smiling again, laughing quietly into the phone at night. Actually giggling. The Nancy Wheeler. Giggling.
He debated back and forth in his mind who he thought it could be. Surely she wouldn’t go back to Steve. She and Jonathan broke up more recently, though he’s not sure it’s him either. Then again, this was all speculation on Mike’s part with no concrete evidence.
Until the most damning evidence of all arrives the next morning, hidden strategically but Mike watches like a hawk. Nancy joined the rest of the family for breakfast in a sweater, hair loosely framing her face in that “so totally casual, definitely didn’t plan it this way” kind of way.
But Mike Wheeler is no fool.
He squints.
There. Barely visible. Her neck.
A hickey.
Mike choked on the large spoonful of cereal shoved into his mouth, almost spraying the breakfast table in half-chewed Frosted Flakes.
Nancy blinked, and raised a manicured brow, “You okay?”
“I-“ He coughed, trying to clear his throat. “Fine, just uh swallowed wrong.”
Nancy tilted her head curiously, before she shrugged and smiled.
Sweetly.
Like a damn criminal.
Mike’s brain lit up like a conspiracy board.
Someone had done this to her. Someone put That Look™ back on her face. Someone had dared to exist within kissing-distance of Nancy Wheeler.
He was going to find them.
And destroy them.
Operation: Save Nancy From Idiots
Mike knew he couldn’t do this alone. He needed help. Experts in the field. True spies and investigators who could help tail his sister, monitor her calls and solve the mystery of who is putting That Look™ on her face.
Naturally, he called on The Party.
They arrived within the hour, all tumbling into the Wheeler basement like a war council.
Lucas lounged on back on the couch, feet kicked up like it was second nature. “So…you called a meeting.”
“Yes,” Mike said grimly, his brows furrowed in concern.
“About Nancy?” Dustin tilted his head curiously, his voice pitching higher.
“About her dating someone,” Mike clarified with a huff. Clearly, his friends weren’t sensing the urgency and importance of this mission.
Max perked up immediately from her spot in the overstuffed armchair. “Wait. She’s dating again?”
Will blinked slowly, as though absorbing the information. “I thought she and Jonathan were on a break?”
“A break doesn’t normally include a ‘mysterious secret boyfriend’, Will!” Mike snapped as he paced the floor of the basement, hand running through his shaggy, dark hair.
El sunk low in the beanbag chair, hands fiddling with the Rubik’s cube. Quiet for a moment, before she curiously tilted her head and asked “Do you know who?”
“That, El, is exactly what we’re going to find out!” Mike grinned manically, his arms crossed like a general preparing troops for battle. “She’s hiding something. And she has a –“ he lowered his voice, partly for dramatic effect, partly because he’s almost embarrassed to speak it into existence, “-hickey.”
Dustin choked loudly on his soda, spraying leftover droplets over Max who swiftly hit him over the head with a cushion.
Lucas laughed and clapped his hands. “This. Is already the best day of my life.”
Max laughed and bounced up from her seat, already plotting. “Oh, this is gonna be good” she grinned mischievously.
El hummed softly in thought before frowning, “What if he is good?”
Mike scoffed. “El. Please. It’s Nancy. She has terrible taste.”
Will squawked a noise of disagreement, “I feel like somehow this insults me by proxy.”
“Focus!” Mike barked. “We stake out. We watch. We notice patterns. Surveil the goddamn phone if we have to. We will solve this. Us detectives gotta stick together.”
Day 1 Surveillance
The Party take turns observing Nancy and noting down any ‘suspicious’ behaviour into a notebook that Dustin covertly labelled “NANCY INVESTIGATION – Classified”.
Some such observations included:
- Nancy humming while getting ready. – suspicious
- Nancy smiling at NOTHING. – suspicious
- Nancy answering the phone and whispering – HIGH ALERT
As The Party reviewed their notes, Dustin said smugly “She only does that for boys.”
Lucas nodded, deep in thought. “But is it Steve or Jonathan? Is there a secret third option we’re missing?” He curiously stroked his chin.
Max snorted and smacked the back of his head. “If she went back to Steve, I’ll personally push him down the stairs.”
El grinned gleefully, “I can help.”
Meanwhile, Will read over the notes again, his brows furrowed in thought. “So, she’s…happy?”
Mike stiffened, arms crossed. “She thinks she is. That’s when they get you.”
Day 3 Surveillance
The Party became a little more mobile in their investigation. Meaning:
- They followed her to the park.
- They followed her to the library.
- They even followed her to the store to buy milk.
Nancy, somehow, did not notice.
“Okay.” Lucas whispered as he braced himself against a shelf, peeking over the highest level. He grabbed his walkie and reported to the rest, “She’s in aisle five.”
Mike nodded approvingly. “Dustin. Intel.” He ordered as he hid behind a cardboard cutout display.
Dustin squinted closer, before he grabbed his binoculars for a better look. “She’s… buying nail polish?”
Max popped her head over Dustin’s shoulder. “Lip-gloss too. Pink to be specific. Definitely dating.”
“Who would she even date?” Will asked exasperated.
Mike grit his teeth. “Someone unworthy.”
Boiling Point
Mike had reached his limit as he watched Nancy come home floaty. Dreamlike. She leaned against the wall after closing the front door and smiled like she had a secret star just for her.
He stormed into the basement where the Party waited. “That’s it,” he declared dramatically. “We’re confronting her.”
Everyone gasped.
Max grinned like Christmas came early. “Hell yeah.”
All six of them marched upstairs and into the kitchen where they cornered Nancy like a badly organized Scooby-Doo gang.
“Nancy,” Mike said. “Sit down.” Arms folded, brows furrowed. He was deadly serious.
She blinked. “Why?”
“Sit.”
She sat though she remained incredibly confused.
Nancy looked at them.
They looked at her.
Silence.
Mike slammed his hands on the table. “WHO IS HE?!”
Nancy blinked. “…what?”
Dustin slammed down the notebook. “Confess.”
Lucas nodded. “We know everything.”
“We know NOTHING,” Will whispered, panicked.
Nancy looked at each of them in total confusion, head tilted, brows furrowed.
Until Max leaned back smugly and uttered a single word. “Neck.”
Nancy went bright red. “Oh my god—”
Mike pointed furiously. “THE HICKEY!”
Nancy buried her face in her hands, her ears burning red as she groaned.
El leaned forward gently. “Is he kind to you?”
Nancy paused before she slowly lifted her head from her hands. Then… she smiled softly. “Yeah,” she whispered.
Mike’s anger faltered.
For a second, he remembered the crying. The heartbreak. The leftovers of sadness.
Nancy didn’t look like that now. She looked… Light. Soft. Happy.
Mike swallowed. “…who is he?”
Nancy hesitated.
Then.. the front door opened.
Footsteps echoed down the hall, advancing towards the kitchen.
The Party turned.