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It was new years eve, midnight was two whole hours away, and Dirk already felt the overwhelming urge to run out of the crowded living room and throw up. He wasn't even drunk this year, something just felt off. There was too many people. Too much noise. In the past Dirk would have loved the excuse for an escape, but he no longer had something he actively wanted to escape from.
All he wanted in this moment was to be huddled up somewhere quiet with the Hanks, not being talked at by seven different objects at once who's voices he could hardly even hear over the thrumming base of the music.
Harper was glaring at him from across the room, and all the people Dirk actually liked had dissappeared from this area of the house ages ago, Betty being the last of them to have vanished out the bustling doors and into another room.
And suddenly it all felt too much. His clothes were too tight, the room was too dirty, his skin was crawling and Dirk almost wanted to rip it off. His eyes darted around the party once, then twice, before Dirk made a break for the door. He bolted up the stairs, a gaining a couple of concerned glances from people lingering in the quiet of the corridor, before flinging himself through the bedroom door and hurriedly opening the closet.
Dirk leans agaist the wall, taking a deep, drawn out, breath, feeling calmer but still slightly unsettled. Dirk hated when he got like this. It made him feel weak. He thought days like this we're over. He thought he'd gotten better. That he didn't need to do this anymore.
Dirk tugged off the dirtier of his clothes, and rearranged his outfit to resemble more of what Clarence would where. It instantly makes Dirk feel better. More confident. More safe. He likes Clarence, Clarence never let the Harper shit faze him, Clarence is put together and normal, and not a fucking mess.
Dirk pulls on a clean shirt left discarded on the closet floor. Clarence tugs at the sleeves and leans agaist the wall.
Clarence. Maybe it's weird he refers to himself by that name when he gets like this. It helps, for some reason, to fully commit to prentending he was someone else. Clarence is his escape. Clarence is his safe space. So it's Clarence's eye's that shoot up in alarm when he hears a soft knock on the closet door.
"Dirk? Someone said they saw you leaving the party, us everything alright?" Comes the familiar voice of Hank 5, gentle and worried, through the closet door.
"Dirk isn't here," Clarence says, because it's easier to prentend this way, easier to allow himself to be this person he isn't than to slip back into the overwhelming emotions Dirk isn't quite sure how to handle just yet.
The door slowly moves to an open and Hank 5's kind eye's meet Clarence's narrowed one's, the rest of the Hanks stood behind him in the bedroom. They all seem to look him up and down in unison, a flicker of confusion, then concern, crossing Hank 5's face, "Clarence?" Hank 5 tries again almost tentatively.
"Long time no see," Clarence smiles almost cockily, "Miss me?"
"Have you missed you?" Hank 5 asks, and Clarences eyes narrow testingly at that. The other Hanks make no move to come forward or speak yet, as if they are leaving it to Hank 5 to properly assess the situation to make sure they don't make things worse.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Clarence asks suspiciously.
"I mean," Hank 5 asks, caressing Clarence face with a tenderness that makes him shrink in on himself slightly, "Do you miss being like you need to be like this? Because that's all that really matters here".
"Of course I have!" Clarence defends hotly, "I'm much better like this, hotter, too, don't you think?" Clarence shoots the Hanks a wink, trying to avoid the guilt swirling in his gut as he lies through his teeth.
"I like you best when your yourself," Hank 1 speaks up from behind Hank 5.
"I am myself!" Clarence shoots back, crossing his arms, and straighting his posture, "Is there something wrong with me like this!?"
"Of course there isn't," Hank 5 soothes, because he's stupidly sweet like that.
"If you think there is, you should just leave," Clarence mutters, "Bat-man is probably still here somewhere, it's not like I need friends, anyway" He says, trying to get across that he doesn't care. That Clarence doesn't care. That's he's perfect. That he doesn't need anyone.
"Maybe not," Hank 5 says softly, "But it's nice to have some anyway, don't you think?"
Clarence hums noncommittally, shrugging his shoulders like he doesn't care if they stayed ot left. He does. He really does. But for some reason, right now, them knowing that fact fucking terrifies him.
The Hanks shuffle into the closet and all sit comfortably around him. Clarence dully notes that they're missing the New Years party to sit depressingly in a dark room with him. Clarence wasn't that important, Dirk certainly wasn't. He doesn't understand why the Hanks always do this. Why their still here.
"Clarence you know we love you, right?" Hank 2 murmers, voice soft but somehow carrying over the noise of the bass escaping from downstairs, "All of you," he emphasises.
You shouldn't, Clarence almost wants to say, because that's how he feels sometimes, a lot of the time actually. Even when he's happy, there's that stupid voice, that sound so much like Harper, in the back of his head, telling him that nothing he does will ever be enough. Certainly not enough to deserve the Hanks anyway.
Hank 3's hand comes to rest on his shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze, as Clarence slides down the wall with a low groan. "I feel shitty," he mutters under his breath.
"What can we do to help, love?" Hank 5 asks sincerely, and Clarence's heart soars in his chest.
"I don't know," Clarence chokes, burying his head in his knees, not even his stupid over confident persona working now, as the walls seemed to be closing in around him.
"That's okay," Hank 4 assured him, "It's okay not to know, but we're here for you, I promise".
Clarence sniffles at this, running his hands through his hair in a desperate sct to ground himself. His breath shudders as he moves to pull off the stupid clean shirt he'd shoved on in an attempt to fix everything wrong with today with a shitty peice of clothing.
Clarence tosses the shirt across the room, and Dirk watches it crumple to the floor as it lands in the courner of the closet. Dirk let's Clarence go in that moment, abounding the mask he wears in an act of overwhelming vunrablilty.
"Sorry," Dirk mumbles, "For the Clarence bullshit, I don't even know why I do it, it doesn't even help anymore, it's a stupid persona. He isn't even real. He never was". Hank 1 pulls Dirk into his arms, and Dirk goes willingly, eyes wetting as Hank 1 runs a hand soothingly through his hair.
"Don't be sorry," Hank 5 assures gently, "Sometimes we can't control the coping mechanisms are brains choose, but you've recognised that hiding from your feelings isn't healthy, and you're brave enough to talk to us as you. That's a big step, dude"
Dirk curls further into Hank 1's arms, as the others move in around him too, joining Hank 1 in holding Dirk, in that horribly endearing way only the Hanks could ever pull off. Hank 5 speaks up then, breath fluttering softly agasit Dirk's neck, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't know what happened," Dirk mumbles, "Everything was just too loud, and overwhelmingly, and Harper was there and I just... panicked, I wanted to feel safe and that's what Clarence used to make me feel I guess".
"Do you want to stay up here with us for the rest of the night?" Hank 3 asks.
"You guys will miss the party, it's nearly midnight," Dirk protests.
"We'd much rather spend new years with you," Hank 2 confesses, and Dirk pulls back from the group hug at that before surging fowards to kiss Hank 2.
Hank 2 makes a low noise of suprise, but quickly melts into the kiss, pulling Dirk in by the waist so they could be even closer than they were before. "Thank you," Dirk breathes out as he pulls back, "All of you, so much".
"It's what you deserve," Hank 3 whispers into his ear, arms circling him from behind, lips trailing down his neck, "You deserve it all".
Dirk lets out a low, needy, sound at that, squirming slightly at the affirmation. Hank 4 is the first to notice this and he quickly joins in with the praise, "You looks so pretty like this, Dirk, let yourself enjoy it, you deserve a good new year".
Dirk moans, pawing at Hank 3 to touch him more, hissing as he sinks his teeth into Dirk's neck and continues to teasingly brush his thighs, "Do you want it, sweetheart?" He murmers, "All you have to do is ask".
"Ah-" Dirk gasps, writhing back into Hank, as he let all the thoughts clouding his mind fade away, giving himself over to the Hanks command, "Please," he begs, without any further prompting. He wants it. Wants to start the new year surrounded by the people he loves the most in the world.
"Who do you want to fuck you, baby?" Hank 2 asks, titling his chin up tenderly, forcing Dirk to see the heat in his eyes.
A whimper escapes his throat, "All of you," he says hurriedly, "I don't mind".
"All of us, hm?" Hank 4 laughs good naturedly.
"You could if you tried," Dirk mumbles defiantly.
"Maybe another day, sweetheart, we want to be gentle with you today," Hank 5 says, "We want to sit back and watch, tell you how beautiful you are," Hank 3 works off Dirk's clothes as Hank 5 continues talking, "How gorgeous you look when you get like this".
Dirk blinks up at Hank 5, completely naked now as he leans back into Hank 3, "You think I'm gorgeous?" He asks, eye's wide and glistening.
Hank 5 leans forward to place a kiss to his forehead as Hank 1 answers the question for him, "You're absolutely beautiful," he says, and Dirk's breath catches in his throat.
Hank 3 adjusts Dirks position so he's straddling his lap, working off his own clothes as Dirk rocks his hips into the man's growing erection, "Fuck me," Dirk pants into Hank 3's ear, "Please"
"Jesus christ," Hank 4 breathes from behind them, causing Dirk to bite back a smile, feeling oddly proud of himself for being able to gain this reaction from the others for doing something as simple as begging for it.
When Hank 3 finally thrusts into him, a low grunt escaping his mouth as Dirk moans lewdly, rocking himself fowards, taking Hank 3's cock even further, as the other Hanks colour him in praise, making him feeling dizzingly warm inside.
Dirk isn't going to last very long, he suddenly realises. Today has been a lot for him, and right now he felt so fucking loved that it was almost burning him alive in the best way possible. His eyes roll back as whimpers fall helplessly from his mouth, back arching away from Hank 3, only managing to shift Dirk's hips further forward, causing his nails to dig into Hank 3's shoulders.
"I'm close," Dirk chokes as Hank 3's hand comes to wrap around Dirk's cock, which was already steadily leaking precum, like he was some needy virgin having sex for the first time.
"Is it that good, baby?" Hank 4 asks, "Is Hank 3 fucking you well?"
"Ahh," Dirk moans, a tear rolling down his cheek, burning hotly across his face causing him to shiver, "So well".
Dirk spills over Hank 3's hand, and luckily Hank comes quickly after him, making him feel less bad about finishing so early. Dirk settles bonelessly into Hank 3's arms, tucking his chin over the man's shoulder and looking at the other Hanks with an affectionate smile.
A sudden cheer echos from downstairs, and Hank 3 hugs Dirk even closer to his body. "Happy New Year," Hank 2 says before anyone else, and they all echo the words tenderly in reply
"I love you guys," Hank 1 says, gesturing for them all to move closer to him.
All the Hanks replied, and Hank 3 moved Dirk towards the others, allowing him to snuggle into their arms, pushing the thoughts of cleaning up to later, "I love you all so much," Dirk whispers, "Happy New Year".