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Summary
(Figured the Mitski song's title matches the story plenty well)
John is stuck in bed after the events of chapter 140ish where John fights Gibert and breaks his arms. John is mostly alone, becauze Shaun is asleep, so John starts to think... John's mind makes up a reason for why all of this has happened. It is so painfully wrong.
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This whole thing is John monologuing and thinking by the way.