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Neve had only distantly thought that this could be an outcome when she had asked him on a date.
It had been perfectly innocent. Come with me, call it a date. They went together to Arlathan in time for dusk, so they could watch the sunset over the old capital. Their fingers twined together, she listened to him talk about his favourite things to cook and thanked him for all of the single socks he keeps knitting her. She admitted that she threw out all her other ones, that she likes his the best. Neve told him about what her old apartments were like, how she likes little cosy spaces and laughs at the thought of living in a giant villa.
They shared more than a few kisses in that spot. Neve hasn’t counted their kisses since that first encounter in the kitchen, but she knows that she has kissed him more than anyone else nonetheless. She feels young when they kiss. What she likes most is how close they sat to one another, as close as they could be without being on each other, thighs touching thighs and shoulders on shoulders.
They’d stood outside her room once they returned and shared a chaste goodbye-for-now kiss, but then he was in her office, kissing her as she removed his shirt. It’s funny how things end up sometimes.
Neve looks at his naked torso, a lingering glance that changes the pattern of his breaths. He has dark chest hair that trails down his belly and below his waistband, which delights and thrills her and makes her swoon in equal parts. Where the hair is sparser on his belly she can see the toned muscle beneath, dips and lines that appear only from great discipline and routine. Frankly, she’d like to give him the ride of his life.
Taking it slow is an unfamiliar concept, but she is determined to try for him. The thought of riding him rough is pushed to the back of her mind and she lays a tentative hand over one of his pectorals, tense and firm under her touch. When he doesn’t stop her, she mirrors the action on the other side. She takes a deep breath to try and urge him to do the same.
‘You’re a sight.’ She says softly, which sounds stupid and she hates it when it leaves her mouth. But she can’t think of the words, can’t even figure out if they exist at all. There may need to be a new language for the sole purpose of describing his beauty. Lucanis closes the very short distance between their faces, making the tips of their noses touch.
‘I want to undress you.’ He says, sounding so shy it tugs at her heartstrings. His hands have remained very modestly on her back, and the thought of that changing sends sparks just beneath the skin of her belly. She nods, their noses rub together.
‘Take my clothes off.’
Why are they being so quiet, she wonders as his hands finally move, sliding around to her waist. No one is listening. This moment would be theirs if they spoke normally, too. Lucanis’s palms press against her rib cage as he fingers the buttons of her shirt. He’s a master assassin, it shouldn't be hard to him, but his hands stumble with them, his breaths come hard. She steals one from his mouth.
He finishes with the buttons and gets his hands beneath the fabric. His palms spread warmth over her waist, her rib cage, her shoulder blades as he goes behind. He avoids her breasts, and for this Neve is only very mildly perturbed, because she knows he’s a gentleman and blanket permission is probably an unfathomable concept to him right now. She lets him take his time to become acquainted with the feel of her skin beneath his fingers.
Finally, after what feels like an age of waiting and trying not to get too excited, he slides her shirt off of her shoulders and lets it crumple to the floor. Her breasts press against his chest and they both sigh. Neve tries to summon to memory a time where it’s been this slow, this meticulous, but she can’t. Not once has she taken it slow, nor has anybody deemed her worthy of taking their time with her.
Lucanis looks down between them at where their chests press together. She looks with him. The curve of her breasts seems to fascinate him.
‘Lucanis.’
She catches his attention just like she had wanted. His dark eyes gaze into hers, reverent, hungry.
‘Bed.’ She says, and forces herself away from his warmth to pull him towards her bed. She needs it, really, before he can undress her any further. Her prosthetic taps against the stone as she guides him, the cool air making her skin prickle. They sit together on the edge and Neve rests a hand on her knee. From the corner of her eye she can see his restlessness clear as day. He’s watching her, his body angled towards her like he’s ready to kiss her forever.
‘I need to get this thing off.’ She explains, but makes no move to do so. Lucanis places his hand over hers.
‘Take your time.’ His voice is lower than normal and it’s as delicious as the foods he makes just for her to taste. He draws his hand away and rests it on her back instead, firm, warm.
‘Not having both legs can make things like this complicated, sometimes.’ Neve tells him as she fiddles with a crease on her trousers. Lucanis rubs circles into her back with his thumb.
‘I’ve never done this before. It will be complicated for me… but not like that.’
Neve isn’t sure what to say to that, not when his words caress her heart like they’ve been lovers for a lifetime, like they’ve shared past lives and she’s hearing him say it again for the first time. After a couple of quiet minutes she reaches down and undoes the enchantment, letting the prosthetic slough off and into her hands. Lucanis is watching but not staring, his eyes follow her hands rather than lingering on her leg. She likes that. It makes her wonder if he likes her hands the way she likes his.
The leg is set against her bedside, balanced against the knob of the drawer so that it doesn’t fall. Then, she unbuttons her trousers, keeping them on for him to remove.
She looks at him, and now he leans forwards to kiss her. Her world spins, he slides his tongue into her mouth, soft and seeking. He’s gone too quickly, she pulls him back with a hand on the back of his neck. Their lips collide and he moans into her mouth, the first one she gets to hear from him. It rumbles in his throat, like when his r’s roll over his tongue when he speaks, and it tastes like every thought she’s ever had about him past dinner time.
It would be all too easy to rush after that, to demand he tear her trousers off, to undress him completely and climb astride him. Neve refuses to make it easy. She touches his waist, his belly, his chest, tastes his pleasured sounds as they escape him more freely. When she shifts she can feel her own arousal properly, she’s so wet she has no clue how she hasn’t shattered yet.
Lucanis slips his fingers beneath her waistband and grips it with his thumbs. Neve lifts herself and they work off her trousers together.
Lucanis doesn’t even look at her leg, he’s very focussed on the rest of her belly that’s revealed to him, and her rather soaked underwear.
‘Can I lay you down?’ He asks like he’s praying at her altar.
‘Take your trousers off,’ she says, ‘and you can.’
His speed is rather endearing. Neve smiles as he strips, getting a good look at his lean thighs with a lovely layer of dark hair. She wouldn’t mind having those thighs around her head. Chewing on her lower lip, she tucks that thought away for later.
Lucanis comes back to her, his hand on her back, and lays her down. He’s at her side in an instant, touching her waist, kissing her hot and needy on the lips.
She needs him, not even the Maker could fathom her need for him, her want. He needs her, she knows because she can feel him hard through his underwear against her thigh. More than she needs him, he needs her to go be gentle, to let him set their pace. Neve finds herself liking slow.
Lucanis does not. Their lips separate, he whispers against her mouth.
‘Tell me what to do. I don’t…’
Honestly, Neve hasn’t for even a second considered the fact she might have an orgasm tonight, but she’s not going to deny him a whole part of this shared experience. She presses a very soft kiss to his bottom lip before shifting onto her back.
Her stomach sinks. Fuck, when’s the last time she felt shy? She pushes it down deep.
‘It’s alright,’ she reaches to stroke his beard, ‘just… kiss me. Wherever you like.’
It’s a good start for him, she thinks. Lucanis leans over her and kisses her mouth, her cheeks, her forehead. It’s definitely not what she was implying and that’s what makes it so beautiful, that the first place he wants to kiss is somewhere he can kiss all the time. Somewhere that might have lost its meaning. But it hasn’t, not yet. He kisses the tip of her nose.
When he presses his mouth against the underside of her jaw she sighs and tips her head back for him. That makes him pause, his breath fanning over her very sensitive skin. Then, soft and sweet, he kisses her pulse.
He spends a while on her neck, to the point where she thinks he’s a little obsessed. She instructs him, with gentle words, to suck at the skin of her throat and leave marks because fuck, she’s wanted to look in the mirror and see the bruises of his lust upon her skin. A couple of tries and he’s got it, he sucks until it hurts just a little, and that’s how she knows she’s got a beautiful array of bites across her throat and down her collarbones.
This does mean, however, that she has grown a little delirious with arousal and simply cannot decide if she wants his fingers, his mouth, both, or just to have him inside her and against him. Lucanis kisses down her soft belly, below her navel, to her waistband. She’s so wet he might drown if he gets his head between her legs.
His chin rests just above her waistband and he looks up at her with wide eyes, a seeking glance.
‘Take them off.’ It’s not a demand, the furthest thing from it, probably. She can’t demand from him, it’s not in their nature. From one another, they do not demand.
‘Neve, when… I want to use my mouth. Can you…’
He kisses her belly, breathing deeply against her skin. ‘Would you show me what to do, rather than tell me?’
His beard rubs against her belly, a gentle scratch that’s very pleasant. She catches on fairly quickly, eyes up his long, silky hair.
‘I can do that.’
Lucanis pulls off her underwear and she kicks them off of her ankle. He presses his mouth against her hip where her waistband had left a small indent, trailing his lips down her thigh and inwards. She thought he’d tease her more in his tender way, kissing every inch of her skin before he indulges. He gets his arms under her thighs, resting his hands on top, her legs over his shoulders.
His tongue is so sweet, she wishes she could come from that first tentative touch. He laps at her, soft kitten licks that spark through her body. Her chin wobbles and she bites her lip to keep it still, emotion swelling in the deepest pits of her belly.
For a short while, she lets him take his own pace and decide which parts of her taste the best. When his nose bumps against where she’s most sensitive she threads a hand into his hair and guides his mouth there with a firm hand. Neve moans, it rips out of her chest, when the flat of his tongue presses against her. He’s so far from her but so close, she can’t look into his eyes but she can feel him all around her nonetheless, his weight is in the air. His hair is soft between her fingers, threads of silk that are too perfect to be grasped in her hand.
Lucanis doesn't stop, but that’s probably because she doesn’t let him move his head. Her head rolls back onto the pillow and her back arches, pushing herself harder against his lovely face. He moans, so beautiful, so visceral, nothing has ever befallen her ears quite like the noises in his throat.
Unfortunately, Lucanis needs to breathe, and her newfound pressure against his face makes that hard. He pulls back and she has to let go of him, letting him rest his head on her thigh and catch his breath.
‘You did-‘
‘I’m not done.’ He says, quite firmly with a serious look. It silences any doubts that try to rise within her.
‘You- it’s been a while, does your jaw not hurt?’
‘Not enough for me to want to stop.’
He kisses her thigh.
‘Sabes deliciosa.’
‘Tell me what it means.’ She says, a gentle request though she has a good idea of what it is he's just said. Lucanis flushes and shakes his head.
‘No.’
He goes back to sucking on her clit like nothing even happened. He doesn’t stop until she wrenches him away, not because she’s finished but because she’s satisfied regardless. There will be a time to teach him properly how to coax an orgasm out of her, maybe more than one, but right now she can think only of how much she wants him on top of her, inside of her pressed entirely against her. She pulls him up to her so she can claim his mouth, tasting herself on his swollen lips.
Her hands grope at his ass to bring him closer, trying to pry his underwear from his form to expose him to her completely. He tries to help as best as he can without putting his complete weight onto her. She wouldn’t mind. It’s not often she finds herself below somebody, but she’s handed him the reins and likes how he’s steering them. He looks good on top of her. He deserves this privilege, and it is a privilege, really, because Neve doesn’t like to have somebody this close. Physically. Yes, only physically…
He makes the remaining effort to pry his underwear eagerly from his legs, pressing their mouths together once they are gone. His kisses have turned firm and excitable, desperate when their tongues slide together. Neve reaches down between their bodies to help guide him into her.
Their lips part when he slips inside, a desperate, broken moan from his mouth against her own lips. His brows furrow in concentration as he shudders all over and keeps going. Neve hikes her legs over his hips and urges him, gently, forwards with her foot on the back of his thigh. It’s an effort to stay completely relaxed, to stop herself from pulsing around him.
Once he’s seated fully within her he captures her lips again. She moans into his mouth and works her tongue into it. It’s only then that she receives a very brutal punch to the gut, a rather overwhelming feeling of pure adoration and care that spreads through every inch of her within seconds. His tongue is so soft, his skin so warm and he’s thick and hot inside of her. His smoky scent is everywhere, she’s drowning in it, she only wishes she could do that happily. The feeling is deeply uncomfortable, uncertain and above all it is fucking terrifying, and yet she wants to lean into it, let it pull her down beneath the water.
She feels as though she could cry, and she’d honestly rather die than let that happen. More than the fact that it would be utterly mortifying, it could very easily sour his opinion of her finally, and sour his memory of his first time. Neve desperately tries to find reason, it’s sex, you've had sex, nothing is wrong. It is utterly unreachable - Lucanis shifts and his hand is stroking her hair - it only grows.
He breaks their kiss, and now with her eyes open she sees he’s rested on his forearms. There’s no gap between their bodies except their faces, and even then Lucanis presses closer so their noses rub together.
‘You’re tense,’ he whispers, ‘have I done something wrong?’
Neve laughs, because it’s the only thing she can do other than cry. It catches in her throat and comes out a little strangled which makes concern flood his face.
‘No. Not at all.’
He gives her the softest, sweetest kiss she has ever received and the feeling starts to make sense.
‘What’s the matter, querida?’
His voice, fuck, that soft tone that he only takes with her. Her chin wobbles. Is love always so consuming? Does it burn through others the way her love burns through her? Will it set him alight if she gives it to him and destroy him completely?
He stops stroking her hair for a moment, his fingers spread amongst her locks, and leans to the side to kiss her cheek, right on the bone.
Start slow, her logic tells her, test the waters.
‘Nothing.’
No, that’s not what you were supposed to say.
‘I mean- it’s not nothing. I-‘
She takes a long pause to appreciate him, perhaps for the last time before he tears himself away from her, realising she’s more trouble than she’s worth. His scent, the warmth of his skin, his breath on her cheek. The stretch of him inside of her, the weight of the marks on her neck and chest.
‘I don’t think I’ve done this with someone I care about. That’s all.’
Neve braces for the worst, for a withdrawal, but it doesn’t come. Lucanis just kisses her sweetly on the mouth.
‘I hope you’re not too invested in it… I don’t think I’ll be able to last long.’
Oh, how sweet he is. His entire face is pressed against hers and she feels the tension in his shoulders.
‘That’s alright. I’m very satisfied.’ She purrs, delighting in how she feels him tremble.
‘Did you…’
Neve kisses whatever part of his face that her lips reach first; somewhere over his beard. ‘No, but that’s not always everything.’
‘You’re sure?’ He asks, ever so devoted to her pleasure. His voice is low and gruff like he’s ready to get his head back down between her legs at even the barest nod from her.
‘I’m sure. Just enjoy yourself, I know I will.’
He rests his forehead against hers and pulls his hips back. His first thrust is clumsy but his second is more practiced. It’s sweet, how furrowed his brows are and how quiet he is trying to get it right, and then when his hips roll deliciously into her he lets himself moan. She moans little encouragement into his ear. You’re so good. Keep going, that’s it, so good for me-
That does it.
His forehead presses against hers and a strangled moan leaves his pretty lips. It sends a pleasurable wave through her, to see him completely undone and beautiful. He fills her completely, twitching and bucking his hips like an animal.
They stay pressed together even after he’s slipped out of her, side by side with the covers pulled over them up to their hips (they became too distracted by kissing to make it the rest of the way). Their legs are tangled together, which makes her idly wonder if it feels strange for him to only feel one and a half legs amongst his own. His words echo through his head quite quickly after that thought. It will be complicated for me, but not like that.
Lucanis is tracing his finger over her nose bone in a similar gentle, devoted way that he may use to touch her between her legs. It amuses her, and she smiles to make it clear.
‘It’s one of my favourite parts of your face.’ He says in response.
‘What’s your favourite?’ She tries to bring to mind a favourite part of his face but she can’t. She’d devour all of him if she could.
‘All of it.’
Neve chuckles and he catches the laugh with his mouth. He soon goes back to stroking her face, gazing at her with adoring eyes.
‘You are so beautiful.’ The words fan against her forehead as he kisses her there.
‘Careful… I might get used to this.’ Neve murmurs, and it’s as much of a warning to him as it is to herself. He lays his palm flat on her sternum and the warmth travels straight through to the previously quite hollow chasm of her chest. His fingers spread, leaning to the left, laying claim to her racing heart.
‘I hope so.’