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The wedding planning goes far more smoothly than Eddie would have expected. Years of being both best friends and work partners have made him and Buck experts at compromising on the rare instances when they don’t agree, and their friends have also been all too eager to step in to offer any guidance on these occasions — probably at least in part to make sure they actually go through with it. Eddie supposes he can’t blame them for being wary after how long it took the two of them to get here, but their fears are unfounded; his feet couldn’t possibly be any warmer.
In fact, there’s really just one problem with the whole thing.
“He’s still not coming,” Eddie says tonelessly to his mother during a phone call a few weeks before the ceremony, the seating chart spread out on the kitchen table in front of him.
“I’m sorry, Eddie,” she says, and to her credit, she does sound sincere. “I really tried. But your father just had a very traditional Catholic upbringing, and — well, you know how stubborn he is.”
“Tía Pepa had the same upbringing, and she doesn’t have a problem coming to my wedding,” Eddie argues. She’d been overjoyed for him and Buck, actually; she even helped them find their florist. And his abuela, who played a key role in that upbringing, had also been nothing but supportive before she passed.
“I know,” his mother says, a hint of impatience creeping into her voice. “I’ve talked to him, your tía talked to him, your sisters have talked to him. I…I don’t know what else to say.” She sighs heavily. “I think that he will come around, Eddie. I just don’t know if it will be in time for the wedding.”
Eddie doesn’t know what else to say either. He looks down at the seating chart where he’d optimistically — foolishly — kept his father’s place beside his mother.
“He loves you,” she says now in a softer voice. “He wants you to be happy, and he’s accepted that being with Buck makes you happy. He just…doesn’t believe marriage should be part of that.”
Eddie angrily swipes at the tears gathering in his eyes. “That doesn’t really feel like acceptance,” he sniffs. “Or love.”
His mother, for once, is speechless. Eddie ends the call, then slowly peels the sticker with his father’s name off of the seating chart.
He leaves the space empty though.
***
Eddie largely manages to keep his father’s impending absence out of his mind for the remaining weeks leading up to the wedding. He’s so busy with last minute preparations — including the realization that Christopher’s best man suit needs to be altered again due to him growing another half an inch since the last fitting, as well as a minor Buck meltdown related to their caterer — that he hardly spares him a passing thought.
Until Bobby’s speech at their rehearsal dinner.
It’s equal parts hilarious and heartwarming. Bobby makes them all laugh with the story of Eddie’s first shift with the 118 (except for Buck, who turns pink and grumbles, I’m pretty sure everyone knows this already), then turns their eyes misty by describing how he watched Buck and Eddie show up for each other over and over and over again. He tells them how he gradually realized their relationship went far deeper than friendship; how he had HR forms ready and waiting in his desk for a couple of years before the two of them finally came to the same realization during Eddie’s brief stint back in El Paso.
Bobby pauses for a moment, looking from Buck to Eddie. “I know I’m not either of your fathers,” he says softly, holding Eddie’s gaze, “but I want you to know I couldn’t be happier for you or more proud if you were my own sons. I know that you will continue to be as devoted partners in life as you have been at work for the last eight years, and I…I love you both.” Bobby’s eyes glisten as he lifts his glass of sparkling apple cider. “To Buck and Eddie!”
All around them, champagne flutes rise into the air. Eddie lifts his own to his lips and tries to swallow, but his throat is suddenly painfully tight. He looks down the table at Philip Buckley, awkwardly sipping his champagne and pulling at the collar of his shirt. Across from him and Margaret, Eddie’s mother sits between his sisters and pointedly avoids his eyes. Hen offers him a knowing, sympathetic smile from her place next to Athena.
Eddie pushes back from the table, the scraping sound of the chair legs against the tile floor drawing everyone’s attention, including Buck’s. His brow furrows in concern as he takes in Eddie’s expression.
“You okay?” he asks, reaching for Eddie’s hand.
Eddie nods, blinking rapidly to try to soothe the burning in his eyes. “Yep. I just need some air.”
He staggers away from the table and down the hall leading from the event room to the restaurant’s entrance. Once outside, he takes in a few heaving gasps of the cool night air and the pressure in his chest gradually lessens.
After a few minutes, he hears footsteps behind him. Eddie doesn’t need to turn around to know it’s Buck.
They stand side by side in silence for a few seconds, staring up at the light-polluted sky.
“Your dad?” Buck says quietly.
Eddie nods. “I don’t know why I even care,” he says in a hoarse voice. “After everything he’s done — or hasn’t done, really, when it comes to me — I don’t know why I even want him there.”
“He’s still your dad,” Buck says. “You love him, despite everything. And you want your feelings to matter more to him than his pride.”
Eddie finally turns to face Buck. “I guess I should have known by now that was too much to ask for.”
“It’s really not,” Buck insists. “He’s the one who’s going to regret this, Eddie. Not you.”
Eddie’s eyes fill with tears. “I promise to have this all out of my system by tomorrow,” he says, forcing a shaky laugh. “Only happy tears at our wedding.”
Buck reaches up to stroke his thumb along Eddie’s cheekbone, wiping a few of the tears away. “You don’t have to,” he says gently. “You never have to hide how you’re feeling from me. Especially on our wedding day.”
Eddie nods, exhaling. He knows that. The only problems he and Buck have ever had were because they hid their feelings from each other.
He takes another deep breath to collect himself, drying the rest of his tears with his sleeve. “Okay. I think I’m ready to go back in now.”
Buck squeezes his shoulder. “You go ahead, I’ll be right behind you. I just — I need to make a quick call.”
“Please tell me it’s not the caterer again,” Eddie groans. “Everything’s going to be fine. There’s no way our entire reception is going to end up with food poisoning.”
“I just need to check something,” Buck says sheepishly, averting his gaze.
Eddie leans forward to press a kiss to Buck’s cheek. “Alright. But don’t keep me waiting too long.”
Buck flushes, his lips curving up. “Never.”
As Eddie makes his way back inside, he realizes something — it doesn’t matter how much his parents disappoint him as long as he has Buck at his side.
That’s the family he chose a long time ago.
***
An hour before the ceremony is due to start, there’s a knock on the door of the suite Eddie’s been given to get ready.
Eddie glances away from the mirror where he’s just been putting the finishing touches on his hair. “For the last time, Buck,” he calls, “it’s not bad luck for us to see each other before the wedding. Just get in here already!”
But when the door opens, it’s not Buck who appears.
It’s Eddie’s father.
Eddie turns away from the counter completely, his hair gel forgotten. He blinks a few times, half-convinced he’s hallucinating.
“Edmundo,” his father says, closing the door behind him. “You look….”
He trails off awkwardly. Eddie clears his throat, finding his voice.
“What are you doing here?” he asks.
His father remains standing several feet away, twisting his hands together. For the first time, Eddie registers that he’s wearing a suit.
“I…I know I’m late,” Ramon starts, “and I understand if there’s no place for me. But I would really like to come to your wedding. If you’ll have me.”
Eddie stares at him. This is the outcome he’s been hoping for since the day his mother reluctantly confirmed that her RSVP for one wasn’t a mistake, but now that it’s happening, Eddie doesn’t know what to feel. Relief? Joy? Anger?
Shock overshadows everything else, leaving him mostly numb. “You’ve had months to decide,” Eddie says incredulously. “Why now? What changed your mind?”
Ramon reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. “Buck,” he says simply.
If Eddie thought he couldn’t possibly feel any more surprised, he was wrong. “What?”
His father nods, swiping his phone screen to unlock it. “He’s sent me a voice note every day since you first told us about your engagement.”
“But that’s —” Eddie quickly does the math in his head, “that’s a —”
“An entire year,” Ramon says with a wry smile. “Believe me, I know.”
“But….” Eddie shakes his head; he still doesn’t understand. “Why would he do that? What was he saying?”
“I think it’s better if I let you hear for yourself,” his dad says, then presses play on his phone.
“Hey, Mr. Diaz. This is Buck, your son’s — well, I guess I’m his fiancé now. Wow, that still feels crazy to say.” Buck’s laugh comes over the speaker, and Eddie feels his own lips twitch upward automatically, a pavlovian response. “Anyway, I’m sending this message because I heard you were a little uncomfortable about our engagement…and maybe that’s partly because it seems sudden and impulsive to you. And I know you don’t know me super well, but I thought if I tell you all of the reasons why I love Eddie so much, you’ll understand that this isn’t sudden or impulsive at all. It’s…it’s real.
So here goes. Reason number one why I love Eddie Diaz: he’s an incredible father. I know you haven’t always agreed with him, but he’s devoted to Christopher in a way I wish my parents had been when I was growing up, and…yeah, I think that’s the first thing I ever really loved about him. From the moment I saw Eddie with Chris for the first time and the way they both lit up as soon as they were together…I was theirs. I’ve never looked back, and I never will.”
Buck pauses for a long moment. Eddie’s eyes burn.
“That’s all I’ve got for today. I’ll be back with the next reason tomorrow. Bye, Mr. Diaz!”
Before Eddie can even begin to process, his father presses play on another message.
“Hi, Mr. Diaz! It’s me, Buck, back as promised with reason number two why I love Eddie: I love how amazingly competent he is at everything. Yeah, okay, it might have pissed me off a little when we first met, but the way he never doubts himself on the job is honestly inspiring. He’s been the best partner I ever could have asked for, and I know that, no matter what, he’ll always have my back…and I hope you know that I’ll always have his.”
“I won’t play them all,” Ramon says, “but just for you to get the idea….”
“Reason number nineteen: I love how Eddie’s kept Shannon’s memory alive for Chris, even when it’s been painful for him.
Reason number twenty: I love how Eddie puts everyone else’s needs above his own…and I also hate that at the same time. I want him to put himself first sometimes.
Reason number thirty-four: I love when Eddie’s a little bitchy…with all due respect, Mr. Diaz, it’s kinda hot. And based on some of the phone calls I’ve heard over the years, I’m pretty sure he gets it from his mother, so I know you know what I’m talking about.
Reason number fifty-two: I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but Eddie’s a bit of a technophobe and it’s honestly hilarious. I think the day Christopher finally brings home an actual robot from robotics club will be the best day of my life…apart from our wedding day, of course!
Reason number sixty-nine: Look, I’m just going to be real with you — he’s got the best ass I’ve ever seen. I’m so sorry, it was a brutal shift and I’m exhausted, so that’s all I got right now…I’ll think of a better one tomorrow, I promise!”
Eddie can’t help it; he bursts out laughing. Ramon quickly swipes to the next voice note, his cheeks faintly pink.
“Reason number seventy, and it’s still appearance-based but hopefully it’s a little better than yesterday’s: I love Eddie’s eyes. You know how people say eyes are soulful? I never really understood that until the first time I saw Eddie, but Eddie has soulful eyes. I always feel like he really sees me — the real me — in a way that no one else does.
Reason number one hundred and eighteen: I love the way he makes me want to be a better man. When I think back about who I was before I met Eddie, I don’t even recognize that person. For a long time, I thought being a firefighter was the only thing that gave my life any meaning, but Eddie helped me find my purpose outside of that. I’ll never stop trying to be worthy of him and Christopher and the family they’ve given me.
Reason number one hundred and thirty-three: I love the dorky way he dances even though I also know that he can, in fact, really dance. I’ve seen the ballroom trophies.
Reason number one hundred and ninety-seven: I love that after I was struck by lightning, Eddie was the only one who didn’t hover around me. He waited for me to come to him and gave me a safe place to land. He just…he always seems to know what I need, even when I don’t know myself.
Reason number two hundred and twelve: I love his dad rock taste in music. He seems like such a cool, suave guy, and then listens to Bob Seger when he thinks he’s alone. It’s amazing.
Reason number two hundred and forty-one: I love his obsession with telenovelas. He used to say he only watched them with Christopher to practice Spanish, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught him watching them with Chris nowhere to be seen. He’s just a secret romantic who lives for the drama, and I love that for him.
Reason number two hundred and eighty-four: I love how resilient Eddie is. When I think about everything he’s been through, and how kind and funny and compassionate he still is…I mean, he has every reason to be such an angry person, but he’s not. I’m just in awe of him every day.
Reason number three hundred and seventeen: I love that even though our relationship has changed, he’s still my best friend. He’s the last person I want to talk to every night, and the first thing I want to see every morning, and as soon as we come off a twenty-four hour shift together, I still just want to keep hanging out with him. I don’t think any amount of time could ever be enough.”
Ramon pauses the recordings. The sudden silence echoes in Eddie’s ears as he swipes at the tears streaming down his cheeks; he gave up on trying to stop them from falling about seven messages ago.
“I don’t understand,” Eddie says hoarsely. “He was sending these to you all year…but just a few weeks ago, Mom told me you still weren’t coming. So how…when…?”
Something that looks like shame passes across his father’s face. “This is the message he sent yesterday,” he says, pressing play again.
“Hi, Mr. Diaz. I’m sure you know that tonight’s our rehearsal dinner. I think Eddie and I were both holding out hope that you would show, but….” Buck trails off, then takes a deep breath. “I don’t know if it’s pride keeping you away, but I just want to say — if you think there’s no point in coming tomorrow because you’ve taken this too far and Eddie won’t forgive you, then you really don’t know your son…but I do. He’s the most forgiving person I know, to everyone except himself. And it’s not too late for you to do the right thing by him.
I guess this is the last reason I love Eddie that I’m going to send you, since tomorrow I’ll be a little busy marrying him. So here it is — reason number three hundred and sixty-five why I love Eddie Diaz: I love that he’s brave enough to be true to himself and pursue the life that makes him happy, even knowing that you disapprove. I only hope that one day you can appreciate how brave he is too.
Goodbye, Mr. Diaz.”
His father slips his phone back into his pocket and looks up at Eddie, his expression caught somewhere between remorse and hope. “I’m sorry it took me so long, Edmundo,” he says, his voice shaking a little, “but…I am honored to have a son who inspires this kind of love. And I would be so proud to see you marry this man.”
A spark of white-hot anger flares in Eddie’s chest. It shouldn’t have taken three hundred and sixty-five messages from Buck for his father to remember he’s supposed to love Eddie too — it shouldn’t have taken any. The words are on the tip of his tongue to tell Ramon that Buck was wrong and it is too late, that Eddie can’t forgive him and he should just leave.
But then he thinks about Hen and what she probably would have given for Toni to show up to her wedding, even at the last minute. Even if she hadn’t gotten there on her own.
As quickly as it appeared, the anger vanishes. His father’s here now, and that’s something. It might not be the unconditional support he deserved, but it’s more than some people get.
Eddie takes a deep breath and nods. “Good thing I saved you a seat.”
***
Buck is waiting for him in front of the altar. The second Eddie meets him there, he grabs Buck’s face and kisses him, perhaps a little indecently considering all of their guests.
Buck pulls back slowly, lashes fluttering, his face pleasantly flushed. “I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to save that for the end,” he breathes.
“I don’t care,” Eddie whispers, gripping Buck’s lapels to keep him close. “I love you.”
Buck smiles, soft and radiant. “I love you too,” he says easily, then gestures at the altar. “Hey, wanna get married?”
Eddie smiles back. “Thought you’d never ask.”
The ceremony is perfect. Buck brings everyone, including himself, to tears with his vows. Eddie uses his rusty ballroom dancing skills to dip Buck dangerously low for their first official kiss as husbands, eliciting cheers and a wolf-whistle that definitely comes from Chimney.
As soon as they make their way back down the aisle, they’re whisked off to take a few more pictures before they lose the light. After that, they only have about five minutes to shove down some of the cocktail hour hors d’oeuvres Buck painstakingly selected before it’s time to make their grand entrance into the reception.
The result is that Eddie doesn’t really have a chance to talk to Buck alone until they’re in the middle of their first dance.
He abandons his formal waltz posture to wind his arms around Buck’s neck. “Today’s been perfect,” he sighs.
Buck smiles, letting his hands fall to Eddie’s waist. “Yeah? Everything you dreamed of?”
“And then some.” As they spin around the dance floor, Eddie spots his father sitting between his mom and Pepa, watching them with a small smile.
Buck clears his throat. “Yeah…I, um, noticed your dad made it.”
Eddie nods. “He did.”
Buck fixes his gaze on a point over Eddie’s shoulder, schooling his expression into one of casual interest. “Did he, uh, give any indication what might have changed his mind?”
Eddie bites the inside of his lip to keep from smiling. “Reason number one why I love Evan Buckley,” he says. “He’s the least subtle person I’ve ever met.”
Buck’s eyes fall closed. “He told you,” he groans.
“Reason number two why I love Evan Buckley,” Eddie continues, sliding one of his hands down to rest on Buck’s chest. “He has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known.”
When Buck blinks his eyes back open, they’re glistening.
“I’d say I can’t believe you did that for me,” Eddie says softly, “but honestly, I really can.”
Buck shrugs a little. “I just want to make you happy.”
Eddie shakes his head incredulously, his heart swelling with an overwhelming rush of affection for his weird, wonderful, beautiful husband. “Reason number three why I love Evan Buckley: he makes me happier than I ever thought I could be.”
Buck ducks his head, a bashful smile playing across his lips. “Are you going to keep doing this all night?”
“Well, it’s going to take me a while to catch up to three hundred and sixty-five,” Eddie says, blinking innocently. “Don’t worry, though — I’ll get there.” He moves his hand from Buck’s chest to squeeze one of his biceps. “Reason number four why I love Evan Buckley: his arms are ridiculous.”
“My arms, really?”
“You sent a sonnet about my ass to my father, but I can’t wax poetic about your arms?”
Buck gapes at him. “He played you that one?”
“I’m pretty sure it was a mistake,” Eddie shrugs.
With a groan, Buck drops his head onto Eddie’s shoulder.
Eddie smiles and keeps spinning them slowly around the dance floor. “Shhh, it’s okay. Reason number five why I love Evan Buckley….”