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Chapter Text

Anna and Gabriel came rushing into the kitchen with her laptop in hand. “We’ve found the winner!” Gabriel announced. He set the computer down on the counter and turned it toward their brother.  

Castiel sighed and wiped his hands on his apron. “’Dean Winchester’,” he read, “’likes long walks on the beach and frisky women dot, dot, dot and men’.” He looked up and glared at his brother and sister. “This is hardly a ringing endorsement.” (The man in the picture on the profile was very attractive, though. Castiel also noticed Dean was an Omega on top of that, which may have intrigued him...a year ago.) 

Anna rolled her eyes. “Keep reading.” 

Castiel raised an eyebrow and focused on his sister. “I can’t believe you’re condoning this.” 

“I’m supporting,” the woman said. “Gabriel’s ideas usually suck, yeah--” 

“Hey!” 

“--but what he means makes sense. Even the therapist thought it was a good idea!” Anna lowered her voice. “You need to get back out there, Cassie. Meeting with Dean can help.” 

Castiel rolled his eyes. “I do not need to meet with an escort.” 

“Yes, you do,” Gabriel insisted. Ten months ago, Castiel was robbed at gunpoint and then shot. He hadn’t left his house since. “You need to get back out into the world, broski!” 

“And this...Dean Winchester...is my ticket to the world?” 

Anna giggled, having known Dean for a couple of years and knowing just what he was like. “Maybe. At the very least, just meet him, okay?” 

Castiel turned back to where he was chopping celery for a stew. “No. I have no desire to be out in the current world.” 

Gabriel and Anna shared a look. Castiel hadn’t interacted with anyone in person in over nine months, since he originally left the hospital after the...accident. Everything was online—work, appointments, apps for ordering groceries. Anything Castiel wanted or needed was at his fingertips (and a safe distance away), and he explained that to his siblings often.  

Gabriel had been the one to come up with the idea of ‘renting’ a friend for Castiel—someone for him to meet with on occasion and learn how to interact with humans again...sort of as a joke, but not really. Castiel recounted the story to his therapist, who said it was a plausible plan. Anna was the one to suggest one of her coworkers be the rent-a-friend.  

“Your...coworkers are...escorts,” Castiel had said, trying to make sense of what he was hearing.  

“That’s why they’d be great!” Gabriel tried. “Look, escorts meet all kinds of people, right? Have all kinds of relationships—but they’re temporary, sporadic! That’s what you need!” 

“I don’t need to have sex with anyone, Gabriel.” 

“No, Cassie, I’ve told you before, I don’t have sex all the freaking time!” Anna exclaimed. “This can be a no-sex interaction. Just someone coming over to hang out once in a while, maybe go out and do something with.” 

Castiel had felt an unmatched anxiety since he’d first stepped foot out of the hospital after his incident. That night, he had stood up, began twisting his hands together, and squeezing them tightly. “No, no...no. This isn’t going to work.” The Novak siblings had backed off and opted to ‘revisit the conversation later’. 

Apparently, this Dean Winchester was the ‘winner’. Anna walked up behind Castiel and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning her cheek on his back. “Please, Cassie? We want you safe, yeah, but we also want you to be happy. You’re not happy.” 

He wasn’t happy. He was lonely. His Alpha was lonely, which made things even worse. The only people he saw in person were his siblings, and the only other companionship was his cat, Gertrude. He was terrified of leaving the house, of being out in the world. He didn’t want to invite the danger into his home either. He breathed in slowly through his nose and out through his mouth, inhaling the smells of his home and family—his sanctuary—before resting a hand on top of Anna’s. Her sweet, floral Omega sibling scent wafted around him, trying to comfort him. It didn’t help. 

“Thank you, but--” 

“C’mon, Cassie! He’s hot! Look!” Gabriel picked the laptop up and waved it around. The escort’s profile was pulled up. Anna had picked him as her first choice, but wanted her brothers’ opinions, too. Dean was sweet and kind and charming and funny. He was outgoing and bright, and that was what Castiel needed in his life: brightness. Just a small dot of light in the inky blackness Anna imagined her brother mired in.  

Castiel chuckled with only a little humor. “I don’t care how hot he is, Gabriel. I will not go out to meet someone new.” 

“Who said anything about going--” Anna cleared her throat, cutting Gabriel off. She gave him a wide-eyed glare, telling him to shut up. Gabriel cleared his throat, too. There was no reason to tell Castiel that they wanted Dean to come to him rather than him to go to Dean. If Castiel wanted to say no to the thought that he would have to leave the house, then let him. “Um, yeah. Yeah, you’re right, this isn’t gonna work.” 

Castiel went back to chopping. Thank you, he thought with a sigh. “I appreciate the thought and the gesture.” 

Anna squeezed her big brother around his middle. “I still think you should consider it, Cassie. Having Dean as a friend would be great, y’know. He’s really sweet.” 

Castiel set the knife down and turned around to wrap Anna in a hug. “Thank you anyway.” After a few more minutes, Anna and Gabriel put the laptop away and prepared to help Castiel with their meal for the evening. He considered the matter closed.  

Castiel worked from home as a freelance graphic designer. He’d worked at Heavenly Ads Design Company for almost ten years before the...incident...but had quit and begun doing freelance work afterward. He was just getting settled with a few steady accounts, and that was fine by him. Castiel had managed his money well and had taken some time off after he quit his job. He’d needed the time to recover physically as well as mentally. Recovering mentally was where Castiel still had trouble.  

Ten months ago, Castiel stayed late at work, finishing a project presentation for the following day. Just before he headed out to his car, it had begun storming. Without an umbrella, Castiel got soaked. He ran across the parking lot, trying to get to his car as fast as possible, when he slipped. He landed on his back, looking up at the sky and rain. He closed his eyes and wondered if things could get worse. When he opened his eyes, a person stood over him. Castiel smiled and was about to say thank you when he saw the glint of steel from under the light in the parking lot. He smelled the rank odor of fear and anxiety and determination. 

“Gimme your money, your phone, and whatever else you’ve got.” 

Castiel’s eyes widened as he registered what the man had said. “I don’t...” 

“You don’t what? Have a phone? Shut up, gimme your shit, and I won’t hurt you.” Castiel nodded slowly. He reached into the pocket of his trenchcoat for his phone and held it out. The man snatched it from his hand. Next, Castiel went to his back pocket to pull out his wallet. He habitually carried a ten-dollar bill with him for emergencies, and that was in addition to his credit and debit cards, his Costco card, his insurance cards, and his driver’s license. It wasn’t much, and it could all be replaced. It wasn’t enough to die for. He held the wallet aloft as well.  

The man took it greedily and opened it one-handed. “Ten bucks?” He looked down at Castiel, who had paled considerably. The ground was hot from the sun beating down on the asphalt all day. Castiel’s back was warm, and his front was cold, and it was sending all kinds of signals to his brain, which was already overladen with fight or flight. “Ten fucking bucks!” The man threw the wallet down and raised his gun. He shot once, and Castiel felt fire. He watched the man look around before he took off running.  

“Shit,” Castiel said quietly. His heart was pounding, and the blood was rushing in his ears. No, the blood was rushing out of his shoulder. He tried rolling over and cried out in pain. His was one of only a few cars in the parking lot, and he wasn’t going to hold his breath that someone was going to be coming outside anytime soon.  

The pain was intense. It ached in a way Castiel had never experienced. He couldn’t catch his breath. He was going to die in a parking lot in the middle of the night. They’d find his corpse in the morning when everyone came in for work. The Tiger Lily account was going to be lost without his presentation. He passed out from blood loss soon after.  

When he came to, Castiel was in the hospital. After a couple of weeks, aside from going from the hospital to the car and from the car to the house, Castiel hadn’t been outside since. And his brother and sister wanted him to risk going outside for an escort? A ‘rent-a-friend' as Gabriel called it? No, absolutely not. 

~~~~~ 

“Please?” Anna begged.  

“Dude, no,” Dean said with a chuckle. Anna was trying to convince the man to meet her brother. 

“C’mon, Dean, he just needs a friend. It wouldn’t even be a real job!” She wanted him to come to dinner with her and her brothers that night, but Dean was tired. It’d been a long fucking week, and the last thing he wanted to do was socialize more. 

“This is the same brother who was shot, what, like a year ago, and hasn’t left the house since?” 

Anna sighed. “Yeah. Castiel.” 

“Castiel. Right. He sounds like a great guy, but--” 

“Please? He’s a really sweet Alpha, and... Please?” Anna asked again with a hitch in her voice. Dean closed his eyes and slowly turned around. When he opened them, Anna was looking at him with the most pathetic puppy-dog eyes Dean thought he had ever seen (and that was saying something since his brother had a killer pair of his own).  

“Anna...” She managed to well up some tears in her eyes. One spilled over, and Dean was a goner. “Ugh! When and where?” 

The woman launched herself into Dean’s arms. “Thank you!” she said over and over again as she kissed his cheeks. “I’ll text you the address and meet you there at seven.” She wriggled out of Dean’s arms, straightened her skirt, and went back to whatever it was she was doing before accosting the other Omega. The man rolled his eyes and headed to Jody’s office.  

Jody and her wife Donna opened Wayward Services almost ten years ago. An escort herself once upon a time, Donna wanted to open her own business and do things that her company had never done—like care for its employees. Wayward was small, with only ten people working for the company. Dean was the first hired.  

Jody had known Dean before he became an escort, when he was still technically a hooker and getting busted on occasion. She had been his arresting officer more than once. He went ‘legit’ (as Dean called it) around the time he turned twenty-two and was working for Jody and Donna before he turned twenty-five. He’d been with them now for going on five years.  

Dean knocked perfunctorily on his boss’s door before opening it. “Did you know about this?” he asked.

Jody looked up from her computer and rolled her eyes. “Do you mean did I know that Anna wants to personally pimp you out to her brother? Yes.” 

Dean took a seat in one of the plush visitor’s chairs in front of Jody’s desk. The woman was a former sheriff, hired by her wife to make sure the place ran smoothly and legally. Jody didn’t take anyone’s shit, least of all Dean Winchester’s. 

“I’m hurt. Why didn’t you say somethin’?” Anna’s offer was simple: befriend her shut-in brother and treat him like a client without the sex (or the money). She was serious about the ‘friends’ part—it had to be real. It was possibly the oddest request Dean had ever received. He’d never been ‘volunteered’ to be a friend before. Date, yes. Sex, yes. Friend? No. He didn’t understand why he felt so odd about it, but he did.  

Jody shrugged. “I’m just here to keep you on your toes, Dean, not give you work.” 

“No, that’s your wife’s job.” That was a lie. Donna and Jody may have hired him, but Dean brought in clients—many of whom he’d ‘worked with’ for years. Wayward Services had a website with the escorts’ information and pictures, and a potential client could request a meeting with Dean or one of the other people. They’d have a first date and see if they were compatible. Dean’s sticking point was compatibility. He wasn’t willing to fuck just anyone (or get fucked by just anyone) for anything anymore. His standards were high, and his clientele was small. He liked it that way.  

Dean preferred to meet one-on-one, not this group date crap. Though, okay, it was a family dinner, and he’d be the guy they were all sizing up. Would he be good enough for Castiel? The question was supposed to be: was Castiel good enough for him? Anna was adamant that it wasn’t like that. That it would be Dean who made the final decision, like always; he wouldn’t be forced into anything he didn’t approve of.  

“Look, it was talked about in hypotheticals, okay? Hypothetically, if I had an agoraphobic big brother and he needed a friend, would an escort be able to do that? Hypothetically, yes. See, there’s my involvement. It was up to Anna to talk to you, not me and not Donna.” 

Dean sighed. “Whatever. Looks like I’m having dinner with the family tonight at seven.” 

Jody’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, really?” 

He winced. “Anna cried.” 

Jody laughed. “You big softie. You’re gonna take this guy on as a client, too.” Dean rolled his eyes. He was so not a softie.  

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. I ain’t even getting paid for this shit.” He stood to leave and waved as he walked out the door. Dean checked his watch. It wasn’t even four yet. He decided to go home for the rest of the afternoon and do some cleaning—something he’d been putting off for weeks for one reason or another. He only did it now because he knew if he sat down, he’d be asleep in minutes.  

Dean had worked most of the week for Jo at the Roadhouse since she was out sick. Eighteen-hour days weren’t really his forte anymore. Between working at the auto shop, the bar, and his one or two dates that week (plus going into the office to get some work done), Dean was exhausted. But...at least he wouldn’t have to worry about cooking or ordering dinner that night...  

At six, Dean got a text message from Anna. She gave Castiel’s address and phone number. 

Dean: Why do I need the guy’s phone number? 

Anna: Just put it in your phone...please? 

Dean rolled his eyes and thought about tossing the phone on the bed, but he remembered how she’d looked that afternoon and relented.  

Dean: Fine 

Anna: I love you. 

Dean: I know 

He entered Castiel’s information into his phone and told Anna he needed to get ready. 

Anna: Just dress like you normally would for a first date 

Dean rolled his eyes again and walked to his closet. Tight jeans...check. Button-down...check. Tie? Fuck no. He laid the clothes out on his bed and went to take a shower.  

While he washed, Dean ran through what he knew of Castiel Novak...other than the fact that he was shot the year before. Thirty-seven, graphic designer—those he’d gotten from Anna. Normally, Dean would run an extensive background check (or ask Jody to) on a potential new client, but he didn’t this time because he trusted Anna.  

As the day progressed, Dean began to ask Anna questions about the mysterious brother. Namely, why did she wait so long to find this Castiel a friend? 

“He hasn’t been ready,” the woman explained. 

“Not...ready? For a friend?” Jesus Christ, how bad off is this guy? Dean wondered.  

“For anything.”  

So, it came down to Dean to cheer the guy up, if not eventually fix him (which is what he thought the siblings’ ultimate goal was in this whole thing). The man sighed. It wouldn’t be the first time he stuck his neck out for someone when he didn’t have to...and it probably wouldn’t be the last. 

Chapter Text

Castiel didn’t understand why Anna and Gabriel were acting so oddly. It was their usual family dinner night; Castiel cooked. His siblings seemed fidgety, and it was making Castiel anxious on top of an already anxiety-ridden day.  

He’d made an emergency therapy appointment that morning because he’d barely slept the night before, thanks to nightmares. He hadn’t done anything the day before that would have triggered his PTSD, but maybe he’d missed something...maybe it was just subconsciously there waiting to spring up.  

Regardless, it had been a difficult appointment followed by a stressful meeting that afternoon. One of Castiel’s clients wasn’t satisfied with a new ad design and wanted it to be changed. Castiel had to try to explain that the image they wanted was copyrighted, and he wouldn’t infringe upon that. They’d argued, and Castiel wasn’t sure, but he may have lost a client. He planned to give it a few days and then reach out again. It was stressful.  

Now, Anna and Gabriel were weird, and it was just going to be a perfect storm of a night—Castiel knew it. He could feel a headache brewing behind his eyes that he prayed wouldn’t become a migraine, and he was overly tired from a restless night. When the doorbell rang, he froze.  

No one rang the doorbell unless it was a delivery person. Castiel knew for a fact that he hadn’t ordered anything for delivery in several days. Anything he’d ordered before had already arrived. He remembered too late that Anna and Gabriel were at the house and didn’t know not to open the door. He quickly grabbed his phone, heart pounding, and opened his security app.  

Castiel watched the interaction through the security camera footage at the front door. Gabriel opened it. 

“Howdy! You must be Deano!” 

“Uh, Dean, yeah. Anna said I should be here at seven? Are you...the other brother?” 

“Gabriel’s the name. Anna’s powdering her nose. C’mon in.” 

Castiel wanted to scream ‘no’ at the top of his lungs. Instead, he began to hyperventilate. He dropped his phone and slid down to the floor. There was a stranger in his house. A stranger. Castiel scrambled back into a corner and tried to hide.  

Anna heard Castiel’s phone hit the floor as she reached the first floor. Before she could say anything to Dean or Gabriel, she heard what sounded like a puppy whining in the kitchen. The woman frowned and followed her ears. “Cassie?” she called. Anna rounded the counter and saw Castiel rocking on the floor. “Shit. Gabriel! Castiel, it’s Anna. I want you to do something for me. I need you to breathe. Can you do that? Can you breathe enough to scent me?” She heard Gabriel clatter into the kitchen to stand beside her.  

“Shit.” They looked at each other, and then Gabriel looked across the room at the man he’d just brought inside the house. He and Anna may have talked about Dean—albeit briefly—but they never told Castiel that he would be coming to dinner. “You got this?” Gabriel asked Anna. At her nod, he left the kitchen and went to Dean. “Uh, sorry. Cassie’s... Y’know what? Castiel’s having a panic attack. It’ll be a minute before--” 

“Whoa, is he going to be okay?” Gabriel could read the concern on Dean’s face and could smell it as well. 

Gabriel sighed. “Yeah, it... Anna and I fucked up and didn’t tell Castiel you were going to be here.” 

“You what? Dude, even I know that’s not okay!”  

“Hey, Gabe!” Anna called. The man looked at Dean, shrugged, and then turned to go back to the kitchen.  

“Yeah?” Gabriel turned around the corner of the counter and saw Anna sitting with her arms around Castiel as he counted quietly. “Shit. We majorly fucked up.” 

“Yeah. I can’t believe how wrong I was about this,” Anna said quietly.  

“Why is Dean Winchester here?” Castiel asked when he’d counted to one hundred. He turned wide, glassy eyes to his sister. “You went through with it. You actually hired someone to be my friend.” It was embarrassing. No, it was humiliating. He barked out a laugh as he leaned back. His muscles were still coiled tight, and it hurt to move. “I can’t believe the two of you did this to me.” When his panic attack completely wore off, he’d be furious. Right then, however, his thoughts were still scattered. “I don’t need a friend.”  

He wouldn’t cry, he wouldn’t cry, he wouldn’t cry... Castiel heard a soft meow and felt the first tear fall. Gertrude ducked her head under his hand and rubbed it against his palm. The gray cat began purring as Castiel picked her up and held her in his arms.  

“We’re sorry, Cassie,” Anna whispered. “We thought if Dean came here, it might be easier. We just didn’t factor in that you never have visitors. I’ll talk to Dean, and we’ll set up something else, okay?” 

Castiel elbowed his way out of her arms. “No. This was a bad idea all around. I’d like for you and Gabriel to go.” He wrapped himself tighter around Gertrude.  

Anna sniffled and looked up at Gabriel. He shrugged again. Anna could’ve just kicked herself for messing up so extraordinarily badly. It was her job to tell Castiel that she was bringing Dean to dinner, and she hadn’t. She’d caused her brother pain. “Cassie, I’m--” 

“Please leave and take Dean with you.” Christ, what if he was in hearing range? What if Dean could hear how shaky Castiel’s voice was? How scared he sounded? How he reeked of fear and anxiety? Talk about embarrassment.  

Anna nodded. “Of course.” She didn’t kiss him on the cheek like she normally would have, but simply pulled back and stood up. She turned around and saw Dean standing just outside the kitchen. He had an eyebrow raised, and he wore a frown. “Dean, we should go,” she said quietly.  

“Seriously, Anna?” Dean asked. Castiel winced at the volume and proximity of the voice. “You get me out here and--” Here it comes, thought Castiel. The man would be horrified. “--scare the shit out of your brother? What the fuck?” What the fuck? 

“Will you lower your voice, please?” Anna snapped back in a softer tone. Castiel was grateful for that, at least. His sensory processing was all fucked up after having a panic attack, and loud noises were bound to get him upset again.  

“You’ve told me how bad this can be, Anna. What the fuck?” Dean said again. Castiel was confused. Was Dean upset...on his behalf? Why? Not that he dared ask the question, but Castiel’s mind was going a million miles a minute, and that was just one thought that got caught up in the train. “Hey, um, Cas?” Dean called out in a lower voice. “Uh, bad timing, but I’m Dean. Anna told me you needed a friend, so here I am.” Castiel closed his eyes and sighed, hating both himself and his siblings in that moment. The disembodied voice grew quieter. “I’ll talk to you later, man.”  

When Castiel heard the front door shut and after hearing the roar of an engine, he finally began to relax in small increments. First, his jaw relaxed, then the rest of his facial muscles. His neck felt like a steel cable, but slowly, it began to loosen up, too. By the time Anna and Gabriel left a few minutes later, Castiel was still sitting on the floor with Gertrude, but he wasn’t hunching in on himself anymore. His back and shoulders were finally starting to relax as well.  

Castiel was drained. He was beyond exhausted from his previous night, the whole day, and then that evening. He could just barely scent vanilla, and found it calmed him further. When he began yawning, he knew it was time to get up off the floor and go to bed. 

He stood and looked around the kitchen. His sauce was scorched, and the chicken, charred. The pasta had turned into a gloopy mess after having cooked well past al dente. He took stock of himself. Did he feel like cleaning up the kitchen? 

Actually... Cleaning the kitchen, despite his tiredness, would likely help him relax further, enabling him to shower and then sleep better than he had the night before. The dishwasher was only partially full, so the man began the relaxing process of doing the dishes. When his phone started buzzing with calls and texts from his siblings, he turned all notifications off and went back to his task. 

By the time he had the dishwasher running, Castiel was definitely ready for bed. His back was still tense while he cleaned, creating an ache that would hopefully pass with a shower. Forty-five minutes, one shower, and one Clonazepam later, Castiel climbed into his bed and tried to fall asleep with Gertrude curled beside him. For an hour, the man’s head ran rampant with thoughts of embarrassment and humiliation.  

When he saw his phone light up with a text, he thought it was one of his siblings again. An unknown number greeted him when he checked, however.  

Unknown: Hey it’s Dean Winchester 

Unknown: I just wanted to make sure you were okay 

It only took him a couple of minutes to get over the shock of the man checking on him before he responded. 

Castiel: Please do not come back. 

Well, that was to the point and obvious. Castiel was reasonable, however, when he could have chosen to rage at the mostly innocent bystander. 

Unknown: No worries pal...one time visit 

Castiel: Thank you.  

Castiel: And I am fine, thank you. 

Unknown: Good to know 

Castiel set his phone down on the nightstand once again. A few minutes later (no, he wasn’t staring at it), another text came through.  

Unknown: Night 

Castiel: Yes, goodnight.  

~~~~~ 

Dean was furious as he drove home. He liked Anna a lot and had known her for a couple of years now, but he never thought she could be cruel to someone. She’d told Dean what happened several months ago, not long after the robbery, and she’d given him updates as time went on. The guy seemed to be doing a lot better than he had been in the beginning, but Jesus! What happened if Dean pushed his progress back? What if he just fucked that up for the guy? What had Anna and the other brother been thinking?! 

By the time he got home, Dean’s phone was ringing. It was Anna. “What?” 

“I’m so sorry, Dean. Oh, my God. I can’t--” 

“You’re damn right, you’re sorry. What the fuck was that, Anna?” 

“Cassie had a panic attack. I didn't tell him that you were coming over and--” 

“And how do you just forget somethin’ like that, huh?” Dean demanded. Anna was silent on the other end of the line so long that Dean thought the call had dropped. “Hello?” He walked into the house and began unbuttoning his shirt.  

“I’m sorry, alright. This week hasn’t exactly been easy for me, either. It was also supposed to be a lot easier for you to come over. All this is on me, okay? I feel awful,” she said, voice breaking.  

“Anna, even I know you can’t spring a surprise like that on somebody like that.” Dean sighed. “Will he be okay?” 

“Gabriel said he’d call in another hour or so to check on him.” 

“Good.” 

“Yeah. I... Just forget all of it, okay? None of this was a good idea.” 

“You had good intentions, sweetheart.” Dean changed into some sleep pants and a t-shirt. Whatever Castiel had been cooking smelled great, and he was sad to have missed it. It also meant that he’d missed dinner.  

“Yeah, well, road to Hell and all that.” Anna chuckled. “I really thought you two would hit it off.” 

“Why’s that?” Dean asked, genuinely curious. What would he, a mechanic/escort, have in common with a graphic designer? Sure, they could have some fun in the sheets if that was an option, but it wasn’t. What was left? Dean put Anna on the speaker and ordered dinner through DoorDash.  

“I don’t know. Castiel was never outgoing or extroverted. He never had a lot of friends, you know? He’d had some relationships before the...accident, but they never lasted more than a year or so. But you, Dean Winchester, are so outgoing and extroverted that you could be enough for both of you. I just thought y’all would balance each other well.”  

“Yeah, well, regardless, what you did was shitty. I’m not doin’ that again.” He took the phone into the living room with him. Dean turned on the TV and sat down on the couch.  

“No, I don’t think that’s any kind of option now.” 

“If the guy changes his mind...let me know, okay?” 

“You don’t have to do this out of pity, Dean. In fact, please don’t.” 

Dean sighed again. “Fine. I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Yeah, bye.” 

Dean hung up and scrolled through Netflix. Was this finally the night he’d watch ‘Where the Crawdads Sing’? Unlikely. He queued up ‘Jaws’ for background noise and went to get his laptop. He set it up at the dining table so he could eat and work at the same time without getting too messy. Dean pulled up his calendar and took a look at the next week. He shouldn’t have to work for Jo anymore, which would be great considering he had some real appointments lined up. 

The doorbell rang, and Dean answered, taking his food with a smile and a wave. He sat back down and worked on his schedule for the rest of the week—when he’d be able to work at the shop, when he needed to go get a haircut, when he needed to go get a physical, etc. Hopefully, the days wouldn’t be as rough as the current one had been.  

Getting ready for bed, Dean remembered that he had Castiel’s number saved in his phone. He could check in on Castiel for himself. He began a new text thread. 

Dean: Hey it’s Dean Winchester 

Dean: I just wanted to make sure you were okay 

There, it was short and sweet. Dean was about to delete the contact when he received a reply. 

Castiel: Please do not come back. 

Dean: No worries pal...one time visit 

Castiel: Thank you.  

Castiel: And I am fine, thank you. 

Dean: Good to hear 

What did you say after that? Be good and take your meds? They weren’t friends; they didn’t have anything to talk about. Dean debated for five minutes about what to say. 

Dean: Night 

Castiel: Yes, goodnight.  

There, the conversation was done. Dean plugged his phone in and went to bed.  

In the morning, he went about his usual routine—got up and ready for work, arrived at the auto shop, opened the place up, and got started while everyone else arrived. On his break, Dean checked his phone and saw that he had a text message from Castiel. Had he forgotten to clear the one from the night before? 

Castiel: Hello, Dean. Thank you again for checking on me last night. I appreciate the thought. Having had time to clear my head, I am quite embarrassed over my behavior and wish to apologize. 

Dean had to read the text twice to understand what the man meant. He was apologizing to Dean? Well, that was completely unnecessary. Dean had seen his brother Sam have a panic attack a time or two, and no one handled them well. 

Dean: It’s fine dude. Doubt you could help it 

Another conversation finished; Dean moved on.  

A few days later, he received another text from Castiel. 

Castiel: I don’t think you understand, Dean. We were supposed to meet Thursday night. I ruined that. I appreciate your kindness. 

Dean rolled his eyes but had to smile a little.  

Dean: Dude. You’re fine. You’re welcome.  

“What are you smiling at?” Anna asked, coming up behind Dean on their way to the conference room.  

Dean quickly put his phone away.  “Uh, nothin’. Just somethin’ Sammy sent me.” 

He followed Anna into a boring conference room that lacked any natural light. Dean pulled out two chairs and sat between Anna and Pamela. He wasn’t the only male who worked at Wayward Services, but they were definitely outnumbered.  

“Morning, everybody,” Donna greeted, sitting at one end of the table, with Jody sitting at the other, giving everyone a generic nod. Various people called out good mornings, but most were trying to get through their first coffee of the day (like Dean). 

“Okay, well, it’s the first of the month—staff meeting extraordinaire. I’ve got budgets and financial reports as well as...”  

Dean’s thoughts wandered to Castiel. Was the man really alright, or had he been conditioned to think that any weakness wasn’t allowed, like many Alphas he knew? He sighed, and Anna elbowed him in the arm. Dean would have plenty of mindless work to do that day, writing reports and such, but Castiel would still carve out a piece of it.  

Chapter Text

Castiel hadn’t expected the texts from Dean. He hadn’t expected to ever see or hear from the man again. “Did you give my number to Dean?” Castiel had demanded when he called Anna the following morning.  

“Well, yeah. I mean, I wanted things to work out, so--” 

“He texted me last night, making sure I was okay.” 

“That’s...so Dean. I told you he was a good guy. What’d he say?” 

“He asked if I was okay.” 

“And what did you say?” 

Castiel sighed and closed his eyes as he spun around in his office chair. “I told him to never come back.” 

Anna laughed, knowing she was forgiven. “Way to go, Castiel!” 

“I know. I plan to text him in just a minute to explain my...text from last night.” 

Anna laughed again. “Oh, God, don’t let Gabriel hear you say that!” 

“Say what?” 

“’Text from last night’. It’s a thing: people send snippets of texts or text conversations that are way out of context and hilarious. Gabriel loves it.” 

“Noted. I’ll talk to you later, Anna.” 

“Okay, bye, Cassie.” 

“And Anna?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Next time...please tell me.” 

“There won’t be a next time, Cassie. I promise.” 

He stayed on the phone with his sister for a few more minutes before sending another text to Dean. He obsessed over it for ten minutes before sending it. 

Castiel: Hello, Dean. Thank you again for checking on me last night. I appreciate the thought. Having had time to clear my head, I am quite embarrassed over my behavior and wish to apologize. 

Dean: It’s fine dude. Doubt you could help it 

He supposed the man was right. Castiel nodded to himself and went on about his day. There was a thought that niggled at him in the back of his head, though. A few days later, when the niggle still hadn’t gone away, Castiel texted Dean again. 

Castiel: I don’t think you understand, Dean. We were supposed to meet Thursday night. I ruined that. I appreciate your kindness. 

Dean: Dude. You’re fine. You’re welcome. 

Castiel sighed and rolled his eyes. Fine, he wouldn’t apologize. Later that evening, however, he felt the compulsion to tell Dean something—anything, really—about himself so that he wouldn’t just be known as ‘Anna’s Freak Brother’.  

Castiel: You didn’t get to meet Gertrude. She is my cat. 

He hit send before he really knew what he’d typed out. Reading over his text, however, had Castiel rolling his eyes at himself for the second time that day in relation to Dean Winchester. Was there a way to unsend a text message? Castiel was about to go into the settings on his phone when it buzzed with an incoming message.  

Dean: I did not. I’m not really a cat person though so... and not a dog person either 

Castiel: That’s too bad.  

Castiel went into his photos and selected a picture of a very regal-looking Gertrude sitting on the couch with the sun shining behind her. He sent it to Dean. Dean sent back a picture of a man with a golden retriever.  

Dean: That’s me with my brother’s dog Bones 

Castiel had to do a double-take. The man in the picture was Dean? He was beautiful with bright green eyes and a bright smile and a bright face and just...he radiated...brightness. He swallowed hard. Castiel could admit to himself that he barely bothered to look at Dean’s picture online because of the ludicrous situation, but...would really seeing him have changed his mind? 

Castiel: He’s very handsome. Assuming that’s him on the right, that is. 

Was that too forward? Was it too flirtatious? A little flirtatious was...dear God, was he flirting with a man he’d never met? 

Dean: Ouch!!! Yes that’s Bones you asshole 

Dean: ... ... ... 

Dean: Well? 

Castiel: ‘Well’, what? 

Dean: Are you going to send me a picture of you? 

Castiel: That was intentional? 

Dean: Not technically 

Castiel chuckled. He pulled his photos up again and looked to see if he had a selfie anywhere. There was one of him with Gertrude, but it had been taken at dawn, and his hair was a mess, and he’d had his glasses on, and he looked like a hobo... He selected it and hit send. 

Dean: ... ... ... 

Dean: He’s very handsome, too 

Dean: She* 

Castiel laughed. He turned to find the cat on the floor by the TV. “Dean thinks you’re handsome,” he said to her with a smile. Gertrude’s ear twitched, and she closed her eyes. Castiel snapped a picture and sent it to Dean. 

Castiel: Unimpressed, I’m afraid. 

Dean: That’s too bad 

Castiel: Indeed.  

Castiel’s smile began to fade as it took longer for Dean to respond. He checked the time and saw that it was starting to get late. Perhaps Dean needed to be up early for...work. Castiel’s smile disappeared. He shouldn’t flirt with Dean and get his hopes up. For one, Castiel was never going to leave the house to meet Dean, and second, the man was an escort...he got paid to flirt. Hell, was he still ‘hired’ to be Castiel’s friend? 

He got up from the couch and headed upstairs to bed. He resolutely ignored the dings he heard from his phone as he changed clothes. Castiel felt too hot and embarrassed. What must Dean think of him—a grown Alpha who needs his siblings to hire a friend for him? He sighed and went to bed. He lay awake for over an hour lamenting his chosen reclusiveness and all that it entailed. 

~~~~~ 

Dean was nearly belly laughing. 

Dean: Ouch!!! Yes that’s Bones you asshole 

He really wanted to see what Castiel looked like. So, maybe he had picked that picture for a couple of different reasons.  

Dean: Well? 

Castiel: ‘Well’, what? 

Dean scoffed. 

Dean: Are you going to send me a picture of you? 

Castiel: That was intentional? 

He chuckled. “Not technically,” he said to himself as he typed.  

Dean: Not technically 

Soon, another text message came through. The first thing Dean noticed was Castiel’s deep blue eyes framed in thick black glasses. The lips came next; they looked chapped but inviting. He saw just the barest hint of a smile on those lips. The man was gorgeous. The dark, messy hair, combined with the stubble on the jaw, combined with the lips, the eyes, and the glasses? Castiel Novak was a work of art. 

Picking his tongue up off the floor, Dean began typing a comeback...but then deleted it. Then he wanted to say something pithy...but then deleted it. Finally, he landed on the simple truth. 

Dean: He’s very handsome, too 

Dean: She* 

God, Dean really hoped Castiel laughed at that. Otherwise, he just made himself look like an idiot. Another image came through: Gertrude lying on a rug next to an entertainment center, sound asleep. 

Castiel: Unimpressed, I’m afraid. 

Dean: That’s too bad 

Castiel: Indeed. 

Did that mean that Castiel was unimpressed, too? What if he was just humoring Dean? He needed a minute. Dean set the phone down on the coffee table and went to the kitchen to get a beer. What was he even doing, flirting with this guy? Did Castiel even like guys? Would-- No! He was supposed to be this guy’s friend, not his lover. He was friends with plenty of his clients; it’d be just like that, only no dates and no sex.  

Dean decided he needed to step back and texted Castiel as much.  

Dean: Look Cas I’m sorry if I overstepped. You didn’t want to hear from me again so I’ll respect that.  

Dean: I’m glad you’re okay. 

Dean waited for over an hour for a response before going to bed. He finally received an answer the following morning, promptly at eight o’clock. Confused as to who would be texting him so early, he was a little stunned to see that it was Castiel. 

Castiel: No apology necessary, Dean.  

Well, that answered that, Dean supposed. He’d let Castiel reach out next if the man needed someone to talk to...which he doubted would happen.  

A long and tiring week later, Dean received another text message from Castiel. He frowned, hoping at first that the man was okay (and then hoping he wanted to chat). 

Castiel: I've been thinking. Monkeys are so... clever, and they're sensible in that they leave the skins on the bananas that they eat. Is it really necessary to test cosmetics on them? I mean, how important is lipstick to you, Dean? 

Dean read the text and shook his head with a chuckle. He was getting ready for a date and was already running late. But he stopped and answered Castiel’s question.  

Dean: Not very 

Castiel: Pity. 

Dean laughed outright, then caught sight of the time on his phone. “Shit.” He was wearing his best suit, ready to take a lovely lady out on the town for a gala she needed to attend. Mildred was one of his best clients. There was no sex involved in their working relationship; the woman just wanted eye candy and someone to talk to. Dean could deliver. 

A few days later, Dean sent Castiel a text of the car he was working on at the auto shop. A 1967 Pontiac GTO came into the shop for restoration services. She was once beautiful, with a gold exterior and a dark brown interior. Now, she was rusted in spots, and the leather needed to be conditioned badly. Dean didn’t know why he’d sent the picture, but he did.  

Dean: Wait til you see the finished product 

Castiel: Why are you showing me a picture of an old car? 

Dean: My day job is a mechanic and I specialize in restorations...this is my next project 

The next picture he sent was a before and after Dean’s beloved Impala. The before picture was right after his dad totaled it, and the latter was right after Dean finished restoring the car. She shone in the light of day. Sam had insisted on taking the picture with Dean in it, and his picture (along with the before) was on the Singer Auto website under the restorations tab. It’d brought them a lot of business over the years. 

Dean: My early work 

Castiel: That is very impressive, Dean. I’m sure the other car will be lovely once finished, if this one is any indication. 

That actually meant a lot to hear (read).  

Dean: Thanks Cas 

Where had the nickname come from? 

Castiel: I had no idea you were a mechanic.  

Dean: Yeah well we haven’t really talked much yknow 

Castiel: That is true. Tell me something else about you. 

Dean smiled. Their first meeting may have been a disaster, but the texts were welcome. Maybe he’d make friends with Castiel after all. (Which reminded him that he should check in with Anna.) The men texted back and forth all day, learning snippets about each other. They discussed work, and Dean remembered that Castiel was a freelance graphic designer. He thought about talking to Bobby about revamping their website with Castiel’s help—a thought for another day.  

He learned that Gertrude was named after Gertrude Stein and that she was five years old. Dean shared that he had a brother, Sam. Castiel mentioned his siblings and told a couple of stories about Anna that Dean wanted to remember for later. They continued talking as the days passed.  

Chapter Text

Castiel enjoyed his conversations with Dean. The man was funny and seemed to understand Castiel’s humor as well (rare). It was Thursday night when the Novak siblings got together for dinner. Castiel made dinner, and Anna brought wine. Gabriel brought cupcakes from his bakery (only one was missing). They made small talk and talked about their weeks.  

“Oh, my fucking God, will you stop talking about Dean?” Gabriel begged. Castiel frowned. He had just been retelling a story that Dean told him about his younger brother jumping off a shed while pretending to be Batman when they were children.  

Anna snickered across the table. “What’s so funny?” Castiel asked. 

“You. You and Dean. He’s been talking nonstop about you, too. Your little friendship is turning into a bromance.” 

“I don’t understand what a...a ‘bromance’ is.” 

“Dude, it’s a friendship between two men—a relationship, if you will,” Gabriel explained with a smirk. Castiel had begun talking about Dean from almost the first moment that his siblings arrived. Gabriel could tell the man was smitten. It was in the quirk of his mouth when he told a story, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about Dean the person. He figured the men had something a bit more profound than a bromance, but that was the best definition of their relationship that they could come up with at the moment. 

“I...Dean and I... We’re friends?” Castiel asked with a frown. He was no good at making friends and never had been. He stared too much, was too sarcastic, and didn’t have any people skills. He was awful at making friends, so how did he and Dean manage it?  

“Oh, honey,” Anna cooed. “Of course, you’re friends.” 

Castiel was silent for a moment. “I see.” He did see...kind of. He thought about their text conversations. He would term them ‘friendly’. Did that constitute friendship or just politeness? Castiel decided to ponder the question later.  

After dinner was eaten and cleaned up, and Gabriel and Anna left, Castiel revisited his earlier question: friendship or politeness? He grabbed his phone from the charger in the living room and sat down to look through his and Dean’s texts. They were formal and cordial at first, but then they started talking about Gertrude and flirted(!) and talked about families (kind of) and work (Dean’s day job anyway). Yes, these texts did radiate friendship. Castiel laughed out loud, shocking himself. He’d made a friend!  

As soon as the thought hit him, though, another came right after: what if Gabriel and Anna were paying Dean to be Castiel’s friend? He was an escort/mechanic. He was used to being paid for his time. Oh, God. Did that mean he charged for text messages? Castiel pulled up the text thread he had with his sister. 

Castiel: Are you paying Dean to be my friend? 

Anna: Of course not! You said no to us setting you two up. We had brought Dean to the house to officially meet you...see if you clicked. 

Castiel frowned. That made it sound like they were trying to make the two men date. Oh, that was bad! He never left the house; he couldn’t expect someone else to deal with that. Plus, there were the nightmares and therapy and medication, and everything that Castiel had to do to compensate for his agoraphobia, anxiety, and depression (among other things). He wasn’t worth Dean’s time to date. He was a pathetic Alpha and didn’t deserve the attention of such a beautiful Omega. 

Castiel: Do you mean you were trying to set us up on a date? 

Anna: Kind of? Gabriel and I just want you to be happy, Castiel...however that looks. 

Castiel rolled his eyes. That was a nice non-answer that Anna gave.  

Castiel: Yet you think we are friends. 

Anna: Like I told you at dinner, yes. Friends text each other silly, little mundane things about their lives as well as some important things. 

Anna: You two are friends.  

Anna: Enjoy it. 

Castiel tossed his phone down on the bed and went to take a shower. He had a friend. When was the last time he had a friend that he spoke to as often as he did with Dean? He’d had work friends certainly, but there weren’t that many social friends. Did Dean consider his friendship with Castiel work? That thought haunted him as he showered and got ready for bed. He didn’t want to be an obligation for yet another person. It was bad enough that he was a burden on Anna and Gabriel. He didn’t need to drag Dean down, too.  

Over the next week, his texts to Dean were fewer. Dean had asked him three separate times if he was okay. Castiel always responded vaguely in the affirmative. It seemed to sort of satisfy Dean. The man stopped texting as much, too, and Castiel felt the loss acutely. He needed his contact with Dean. He...needed...Dean.  

Castiel sat with that knowledge for another week before finally texting Dean after having very little contact for fourteen days (exactly).  

Castiel: Are we friends? 

Dean: Hi to you too 

Dean: Yeah I would consider us friends...why? 

Castiel: Just something my siblings were talking about. Thank you for your time. 

Nervously, the man set his phone aside. A couple of minutes later, it signaled another text message. 

Dean: Yeah you’re welcome 

Did Dean’s tone change? Could you tell that through a text message? Was the man angry that Castiel questioned their...relationship?  

What really worried Castiel, however, was the fact that Dean could only be humoring him. What would happen? He’d gain a friend only to be betrayed when the other man didn’t feel the same.  

Castiel sat up straighter. “Feel?” He had no feelings toward Dean Winchester one way or the other. Sure, the man was attractive. And he was funny...and didn’t seem to brush Castiel off every time he texted with a silly question. Those were great qualities to have in a friend, Castiel had to remind himself.  

~~~~~ 

Dean scoffed as he looked down at the message on his phone. “’Thank you for your time’? Who the fuck says that?” he asked himself. He sighed, shrugged, and responded to the text.  

Dean: Yeah you’re welcome 

Dean set his phone down on a nearby workbench. He’d given Castiel his own special ringtone for when he texted, so when Dean heard it even underneath the GTO, he was able to respond. He didn’t realize he’d be answering the worst question ever. Of course, he and Castiel were friends! They were the equivalent of ‘internet friends’--they talked a lot but never officially met.  

He found himself wanting to know more about Castiel, though. Like, how often does he wear his glasses (he’d been floored by the picture Castiel sent of himself—the man was hot)? How was it running your own business? How was he dealing with his PTSD? How does he take his coffee in the mornings? Which side of the bed does he sleep on? Does he sing in the shower? Random stuff like that...  

Dean waited a couple of days before contacting Anna. They were set to have a staff meeting the following day, but he wanted this to remain private. 

Dean: Your brother’s weird 

Shit! That sounds horrible, Winchester! 

Dean: Like dorky weird not bad weird 

Anna: I think I knew what you meant. How are you? 

Dean: Fine. Listen Cas asked me something weird the other day 

Dean: He asked if we were friends...said something about you mentioned it at dinner one night? 

Anna: Oh, you two... 

What’d we do? 

Anna: Yes, he asked me if I thought you and he were friends 

Dean: Why? 

Anna: Good question. Probably because he hasn’t made a friend in years and certainly hasn’t had any stay around over the last year especially. He’s weird remember? 😉   

The two talked back and forth for a few more minutes before their conversation ended. He checked the time on his phone. He had a very expensive date with Bela Talbot that night. Much like Mildred (only several decades younger), she mostly used Dean as arm candy to parties and whatnot, where she would be photographed. Rumors had flown around for years about whether or not the two were an item. They would say they were friends and nothing more. Behind closed doors, of course, their relationship dynamic shifted dramatically.  

He got ready, thinking about Castiel and how the man wasn’t sure if they were friends or not. Surely, there had to be something that could convince him of that...right? If texting didn’t work, what about meeting in person? Dean nixed that idea fairly quickly; that hadn’t worked out last time. Then again, Anna and Gabriel had just kind of thrown Dean at him without warning. What if they eased into-- 

“You’re not listening to me, Dean,” Bela told him tightly in her posh British accent.  

Dean was taken out of his stupor immediately. Right...date. “Uh...no, you’re right. I’m sorry.” He smiled his most charming smile until the corners of Bela’s lips twitched. She rolled her eyes and finished her champagne. Her cheeks were flushed with alcohol, and her hands wandered under the table. Dean caught one as it moved toward his crotch.  

“How ‘bout we take this someplace else, sweetheart?” he whispered near her ear. He felt her shiver a bit before turning her head to press her bright red lips to Dean’s. When she pulled back, her gray-blue eyes were heavy-lidded and dark with lust.  

“I think that’s a fabulous idea.” 

They left the ballroom, got their coats, and Dean called for the car (Baby was at Bela’s for safety—nobody drove her but him). He had a lapful of the woman by the time the driver pulled away from the curb. It’d been a little bit since he’d had sex with a client. Since before Castiel, he thought. Bela’s mouth was hot and insistent on his. What would this feel like with Cas? Dean asked himself, completely ignoring Bela’s wanton moans.  

Her hands began loosening Dean’s tie and unbuttoning his starched white shirt (that likely had bright red lipstick smeared on the collar) while his found her garter belt and released the catch holding the stocking up on her left leg. Castiel wouldn’t have any cumbersome accessories, Dean was sure. The picture he’d received had definitely been taken early in the morning, but other than the glasses, the man didn’t look ‘extra’. (That isn’t to say Dean didn’t appreciate Bela’s stockings and garter belt, though...) 

They stumbled into Bela’s apartment half-dressed. Dean was pretty sure they’d left his bowtie in the elevator. Bela’s hair was around her shoulders, having unpinned it while riding up to the apartment. Already knowing the floor plan, Dean scooped Bela up and walked down the hall to her bedroom, slamming the door shut with his foot. Would Castiel be able to carry me? Dean wondered, suppressing a shudder that he told himself was from Bela’s tongue on his Adam’s apple.  

Dean dropped Bela onto the bed to let her fend for herself in getting her clothing off while Dean finished unbuttoning his shirt. In the excitement, his phone volume must have been activated because just seconds after the shirt hit the floor, it went off. Castiel’s ringtone could be heard throughout the room. It sounded like a typewriter. Dean froze and stared down at his clothes; his hands poised above his pants pocket to retrieve the phone.  

“Oh, please, don’t tell me you’re thinking of answering that,” Bela said, stepping away from the bed in just her underwear, dress discarded over the side. She slinked her way over to Dean and rose to stand on her tippy toes so that she could place a kiss on his lips.  

Dean chuckled and started to speak. It’s late...what if Cas is in trouble? Dean wondered. He forgot about the half-naked woman in front of him and pulled out his phone.  

Castiel: How do friends spend time together? 

Dean breathed a quiet sigh of relief. The guy he barely knew was okay and was simply texting him about friends. Because that’s what they were...friends. What did friends do together? 

“Dean Winchester, do not answer that. You will put the phone away immediately.” 

Dean looked down at the beautiful woman in front of him. “Or you’ll what, sweetheart?” 

“I won’t pay you,” she snarked.  

That stung a little and for more than one reason, but Dean didn’t let it rankle him. “Done.” Dean hit the call button as he leaned down to pick up his shirt. He shrugged into it, holding the phone to his ear, while also walking through Bela’s very expensive apartment, gathering his jacket off the back of the couch. 

As the fourth ring sounded in Dean’s ear, he could vaguely hear Bela yelling out at him from the bedroom. He was ready to hang up and take the tongue-lashing when Castiel finally answered. 

“Hello, Dean,” came a hesitant and gravelly voice at the other end of the line.  

Dean smiled. It was the first time he’d heard the other man’s voice. Somehow, it matched the picture he’d seen. Deep, gravelly voice with sexy hair? Count Dean in. Wait...no...friendship.  

“Hi, Cas.”

Chapter Text

Castiel hadn’t expected his phone to ring. No one called him unless it was his siblings. It was right in front of him, though. The screen read DEAN. He cleared his throat and answered after four very long rings. It was just a phone call. “Hello, Dean.” 

“Hi, Cas.” 

Dean’s voice sounded different when it wasn’t raised. It was deep, but it was...smooth, not harsh like his louder self would lead you to believe. “Why are you calling me, Dean?” 

“Uh, you...asked me a...question. Uh...” Dean trailed off, and Castiel heard a ding that sounded like an elevator.  

“I...did. It being late, however, I sent a text. I expected you to find it in the morning.” 

“I got that, Cas.” Oh, it was nice hearing Cas in Dean’s voice. He preferred the moniker over ‘Cassie’. “I was just worried that something happened, that’s all.” 

Castiel was immediately curious. “Like what?” They were friends, correct? Fresh friends at that. Why would Castiel call or text Dean if something were to happen?  

“Uh...wh...” the man sighed on the other end of the line. “Look, you just got me out of a bad date, alright? Thanks for the assist.” 

“Assist?” Dean was on a date when Castiel interrupted it. A bad one but still...Dean was on a date.  

“Yeah, I called you and left.” 

“Why?” 

“Wh-? Dude, it was a bad date, okay? Nobody wants to be on a bad date, trust me.” 

“I suppose you would know,” Castiel said contemplatively. Surely, an escort who has been in the business as long as Dean (he assumed more than three years since that’s only when Anna had begun working) would have mastered the art of knowing what constitutes a good or bad date. 

Castiel wasn’t big on dating before the incident, and now it just wasn’t a possibility at all. He’d once had a dream of a husband and family of his own, but that was taken away from him. Who would want to tie themselves down to...him? He was an agoraphobic Alpha, one who had debilitating anxiety. Some prize he was, friend or not. 

“You okay, Cas?” 

Castiel heard the growl of a familiar engine. “Your car is very loud,” he stated. He promptly dropped his head into his hand.  

“Uh, yeah, I guess it is. You sure you’re okay, buddy?” 

“Yes, thank you. I just...had that one question.”  

“Right. ‘How do friends spend time together?’ Well...” 

“Dean, you really don’t have to answer. It’s late, and I’m sure you’d rather be going to bed.”  

“Yeah, well, let’s just say it might be a while.” Castiel couldn’t explain the feeling of... Oh God, was that...jealousy? Was he truly jealous of the person warming Dean’s bed? “The date I had ended pretty abruptly, and there’s gonna be paperwork involved.” 

“Oh.” (It was all Castiel could think to say!) 

“Heh, yeah. So, y’know, I have the time to call. And speaking of, calling is something friends do. Talking is something friends do; they get together for games, go out for food, or whatever, and hang out regularly...that kind of thing. We’re halfway there.” 

“Only halfway?” 

“We haven’t hung out in person, but it’s not super important to a friendship. Internet friends may never see each other, and they’re still friends. If that’s the case, then...yeah, man, I think we’re friends.” 

“I see.” And he did—finally. Castiel and Dean could be friends while still respecting Castiel’s (anxiety-induced) boundaries. That meant a lot to him; that Dean would take his feelings on the matter into consideration. “Thank you, Dean,” he said quietly. 

Dean cleared his throat. “Yeah, man, of course. I’ll, uh, let you go.” 

“Enjoy the rest of your night, Dean.” 

“Yeah, you, too.” 

Castiel slowly removed the phone from his ear and disconnected the call. He had a friend. An escort was his friend. Dammit, he still couldn’t be sure if Anna and Gabriel were paying the man to ‘hang out’. He would hate to be a friend whose only existence was an obligation. Castiel frowned and texted Anna.  

Castiel: Are you sure you're not paying Dean to be my friend? 

Anna: Of course not! I told you we would never do that to you! 

Castiel: Yes, you’re right. My apologies. 

Castiel ignored the repeated dings from his phone, likely Anna wanting more clarification or conversation... 

He continued to analyze the texts the following day, balancing work and home tasks. Of course, his anxiety was getting the best of him, but that was nothing new. Castiel had long come to terms with the fact that his overwhelming anxiety (even with medication) overruled his rational thoughts. It didn’t seem as though he had any rational thoughts when it came to Dean, though.  

The man had somehow wormed his way into Castiel’s life—as a friend—and was spreading roots down in a barren (once-barren?) land. Any friends that Castiel had before the incident had abandoned him. His few work friends, with whom he often went to dinner or drinks, stopped offering conversation. He was truly left with Dean and his siblings. Would Dean get tired of him, too? 

It was such a tenuous relationship, Dean’s friendship. It was new and could be severed by the slightest infraction (at least in Castiel’s mind).  He stared down at his phone for several moments, letting the screen go black. He wasn’t really tired, but he knew that his anxiety would be worse the following day if he didn’t at least try to sleep. He hoped it wouldn’t be a nightmare night. He thought about Dean until he fell asleep. 

It was a nightmare night, however, and Castiel got little rest. At one point, he dreamed that it was Dean who was lying on the concrete in the rain, bleeding to death. After that one, he woke up with tears drying on his face. In another dream, Dean was the one to find him, to call 9-1-1, to ride with him to the hospital.  

In the morning, Castiel sat on the couch with his coffee and cat, pondering the meanings behind his dreams from the night before. Most of them featured Dean in some form or fashion, which was extremely odd. Castiel never dreamed about other people. Even his attacker was faceless in his worst nightmares. He had an appointment with his therapist later that day. Perhaps she would have some insight.  

Castiel and Gertrude went about their regular morning routine: coffee on the couch, oatmeal for breakfast, and then he went to his office to work. He lasted almost thirty minutes before he began to think of Dean. He grabbed a Post-it from his desk and jotted down things that made him think of Dean. He had half a dozen items after only a minute. He hadn’t even properly met the man! 

When his therapy appointment finally arrived at two, he’d spent a good fifty percent of his workday so far thinking about Dean and occasionally talking about him with Gertrude.  

“I just don’t understand.” 

“You don’t understand why someone would want to be friends with you?” Lily, his therapist, asked.  

Castiel had to ponder. “Yes, I suppose. I’m...I’m a mess. Everyone else has already deemed me too heavy a burden; why not Dean?” 

“This is a great opportunity to practice that self-compassion we’ve been talking about, Castiel. Dean is someone you recently met. How do you think he would consider you a burden?” 

Castiel sighed and pulled out his Post-it from earlier. Calming voice. Answers ridiculous text messages. Interrupts a date to call. “Perhaps as someone he knows...as a, um...friend, he would feel like he had to manage everything. Which he kind of already does.” 

“How so?” 

“He takes initiative and contacts me when I may not reach out.” 

“And you think that’s burdensome?” Lily asked, repositioning herself in her large chair. Her therapy dog, May, jumped into her lap and settled.  

“I think that maybe he’ll get tired of it.” 

The therapist was silent for a few moments, making Castiel worry that he’d said the wrong thing. “What if he doesn’t?” Castiel was thinking about his answer as Lily checked the time. “Castiel, I’m afraid our time is up for today. Be thinking about what I said, and we can discuss it next week, okay?” The man nodded. “Okay, text me if you need me.”  

“Thank you, Lily. Have a nice afternoon.” 

“You, too.” 

The call ended, and Castiel was left staring at the blank monitor. 

~~~~~ 

Dean rode down the elevator, wondering what the hell he’d just done. He’d just left a date, one that was getting to be pretty steamy. For Castiel. For a text message that he could have answered with another text message the following morning. He walked out of the large and fancy building to the parking lot where his precious car sat. What was it about Castiel that made Dean...well, act differently? 

He thought about it on the way home. From what Dean could tell (without having officially met the man), Castiel was a weird, dorky little guy. (A hot, dorky little guy—but that was beside the point.) He didn’t have any friends because of the accident, which was a tragedy. Dean knew that he had been shot and nearly died. It made sense that the guy was afraid to get out and meet new people. He couldn’t blame him. But what did that have to do with Dean? 

Castiel was his friend. The other man was out of touch and obviously needed reassurance and acknowledgment. Dean could do that. They were friends. But Dean had never had a friend for whom he’d interrupted a date or an appointment or any damn thing that took precedence in Dean’s life.  

Bela would likely file a complaint, leaving Dean filling out paperwork and either trying to smooth things over or cutting his losses. He didn’t think that Bela would be very forgiving and allow their ‘relationship’ to continue, so cutting his losses, it was. It wasn’t as if losing a client was the worst thing to happen to him (anymore), but it stung regardless.  

Dean went to the kitchen to pour a big glass of whiskey. He thought he’d earned it after the whiplash evening he’d just endured. Kissing and heating up one minute, fizzling out and fleeing in the next. He drank as he looked around his apartment. He’d done well for himself. Truth be told, Dean didn’t need to supplement his mechanic’s income anymore. He liked the other work, though.  

Glass in hand, Dean went to the living room to sit down on the couch and drink. He didn’t feel ready for bed despite the late hour, and he wanted to wind down a bit more before he went to shower. He sipped and looked down into the amber liquid. No, he didn’t have to work as an escort any longer. He had made more than enough money to take care of himself (though the extra was nice), and his restoration and mechanic work were rewarding. So, why did he keep doing it? 

Dean was fifteen the first time he offered to suck some guy’s dick for cash. He’d prided himself on not sinking that low (pun intended) before, but this time he and Sammy were really desperate. Three days. That’s how long their dad was supposed to be gone—only three days. By day eight, the money John left was very much gone, and Sam wasn’t feeling well. Dean had hustled as much pool as he could (enough to pay for a walk-in clinic appointment), but it wasn’t enough for that and Sam’s antibiotics. Dean went back to the bar and ‘scored’ again with fifty bucks—enough for Sam’s antibiotics and an orange Fanta to cheer the eleven-year-old up a little (and maybe a little left over to save).  

Selling his services became more lucrative than hoping their dad would remember to leave money when he went off on a bender. Dean began saving some of the money, using it to buy extra groceries or clothes. His emergency money had come in handy on many other occasions when John had forgotten to pay rent that week.  

He had his first run-in with Jody (back when she was still a sheriff) at seventeen. Somehow, Dean had gotten her to drop the charges before they had a chance to call John and tell him he had been arrested. The next time, he wasn’t so lucky. He stayed at the jail for a week before Sam was able to convince John to bail him out. After he turned eighteen, Dean and Jody had a new protocol for his arrests: one phone call and a charge-free twenty-four-hour hold. He’d usually call Sam to at least tell the kid where he was. Sometimes, he’d call John and suffer the man’s wrath, but mostly, he just wanted a warm, dry place to sleep for a night away from his dad. He felt selfish for it, especially when it meant leaving Sam to fend for himself.  

The older Dean grew, the savvier a businessman he became. From the time he was fifteen, he’d begun saving spare change for what he thought of as ‘Sam’s College Fund’. It grew from nickels and pennies to quarters and dimes to dollar bills. What money didn’t go to food, clothes, rent, or bail was saved for Sam. Dean had never been so proud as when he gave the check of eight thousand dollars to his little brother as a graduation gift. He gave himself a year off before going right back to hooking...this time for his own benefit.  

Working strictly for himself coincided with meeting Donna (under not-great circumstances) and introducing her to Jody (yes, they were both arrested for prostitution at the time). Donna was an escort compared to Dean’s hooker, however, and she got a slightly lesser sentence. Her money paid for his bail. 

Shortly thereafter (and after a lengthy discussion with Sam—who, despite Dean’s best efforts, figured out what he was up to), Dean went to work for the woman. It worked for him. He liked the lifestyle—it was fun and breezy and temporary. He didn’t have to work at it because he was naturally charming and attractive.  

He’d kept himself and Sam alive, and the younger Winchester prospered. Dean only did what he did for his own entertainment, really. It’s just that over the last couple of weeks, entertainment looked more like talking to Castiel in the comfort of his own home than going out on a date.  

The very morning after his disastrous date with Bela, Dean was pulled into a meeting with Jody and Donna.  

“You really wanna bite this hand, Dean? She brings in a lot of money for everyone—Bela knows everyone. Hell, she brings you--” 

“Yeah, I know. I made a call. It may have been a bad one, but it’s done. If she wants to file a complaint and cite breach of contract, y’all know I’m good for it.” 

Jody sighed and looked at her wife of almost seven years, who shrugged back at her. If it weren’t for the man in front of them, it was unlikely they ever would have met. Sometimes life was funny that way.  

“Okay, we’ll back you whatever comes.” 

Dean sighed and briefly allowed the relief to wash over him. He knew Donna and Jody would support him, but there was always the chance that the last time could be the last time. He was thankful every day that he’d met the two women—even under shitty circumstances. 

“Thanks. What else do you need me to do?” 

Donna shook her head. “Nothing. We’ll run interference and contact the lawyer just in case we need his stamp of approval or whatever.” 

Dean nodded. “Thanks, ladies. As always, I owe you--” 

“Absolutely nothing, Dean Winchester,” Jody intoned. She knew Dean’s past—all of it—and she still looked out for him. He needed to tell Castiel that that was a real friend. 

Dean nodded again and stood before making his way to the door. Almost as soon as he stepped into the hall, Anna stopped him.  

“Oh, my God, are you okay?” 

“Uh, yeah?” 

“You gave up Bela Talbot?” she exclaimed (a little too loud for Dean’s taste). He grabbed her elbow and led her to his office a few doors down. 

“Spread the gossip, why don’t you?” 

“I’m not even into women, and I could see myself switching teams for her.”  

Dean rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Whatever.” 

Anna walked over and pushed the man’s shoulder. “What the hell happened?” she asked, genuine concern beginning to lace her voice. 

Dean walked around his (totally for-show) desk and sat down with a sigh. “Cas had a question,” he said, almost embarrassed to be admitting it. Hell, he was embarrassed to admit it. 

Anna gaped. “I’m sorry. My brother texted you and you freaking answered? What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

Dean winced. “I called him back, actually.” 

Anna’s eyes rolled back in her head, and she sat down in his visitor’s chair dramatically. “Oh...my...God.” 

“He could’ve been hurt or something! I was worried!” Friends worried about friends! It was totally normal.  

“Dean, what was so important that my brother—who does not like to talk to people—answered a phone call?” 

Dean blushed. “He wanted to know how...friends spend time together,” he finished in a rush. Anna stared at Dean for what felt like an eon before she finally gave it up and laughed in the man’s face. He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Yuck it up.”  

“You...called Castiel in the middle of the night to tell him what now?” she giggled.  

“I screwed up, okay? Bela’s mad, and Cas probably thinks I’m weird or something.” Anna continued laughing. Dean rolled his eyes again and pulled a string on one of his buttons. “You done? I’m an idiot, I get it!” 

After a final snort, Anna regained her composure, delicately wiping away a tear. She cleared her throat and nodded. “Yes.” 

“Jesus. Thank you.” 

The woman’s mouth quirked up in another smile. “Y’all are so cute.” 

“Wh- I am not cute,” Dean replied, indignantly. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Why the fuck are we cute anyway? Cas probably thinks I’m harrassin’ him.” 

Anna couldn’t help but laugh again. “You’re both so afraid of messing this up. It’s cute.” 

“There’s no this, alright?” 

“Oh?” 

“What, ‘oh’?” Dean didn’t like the glint in Anna’s eyes.  

“So, are you saying there isn’t a friendship...a relationship?” 

Dean rolled his eyes yet again. “I don’t mean it like that.” He uncrossed his arms and leaned forward. “Of course, we have a friendship.” Anna nodded along.  

“Good.” She stood and walked to the door. “Castiel is gay, by the way,” she announced without looking back. 

Dean frowned. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

Chapter Text

At almost exactly three p.m. (as Castiel’s appointment with Lily ended), Anna called.  

“You will never believe what I have to tell you!” She sounded joyful and happy, and all Castiel could offer was a ‘hm’. “I think Dean likes you as more than a friend,” she rushed out, sounding giddy.  

Castiel frowned. “What on Earth makes you say that?” They were barely friends. How in the world could Dean think of him as more than that?  

Anna sighed on the other end of the line. “Call it a woman’s intuition. Dean said he called you...during a date.” 

Castiel blushed. “He did. I feel awful about that.” He’d essentially interrupted Dean’s workday (night) and felt bad that he’d pulled the man away from his...duties.  

“Cassie, this is big!” 

Afraid, the man stuttered, “I-I don’t want it to be big.” 

“You talked on the phone with a near stranger. That’s a big leap for you, Big Brother. I’m proud of you.” 

Castiel sighed. “Thank you, I suppose.” He really didn’t want the call to be a big deal, but apparently it was. Was it as big a deal for Dean, or was Castiel alone in his misery? (Probably the latter, based on previous experience.)  

The siblings changed the subject (rather, Castiel did) and began discussing their next family dinner night. Gabriel wanted to ‘Zoom into dinner’ because he wanted Castiel and Anna to meet his new girlfriend. Castiel wasn’t sure how to feel about it, but...he wouldn’t have a real-live stranger in his house, only the image of a person in the dining room. He finally agreed to think about it. 

“You know, if you decide to go through with the dinner meeting, that could also be a possibility for you and Dean. Hanging out without really hanging out.” 

“Um...yes.” Castiel didn’t know if he wanted that; Dean to be ‘in’ his home. The first time was such a disaster... 

“Just think about it. It’s an idea. You know you don’t have to run with your first idea, Cassie.” Anna paused. “Let us know about dinner, okay? I’ll still come in person.”  

“I will, I promise.” 

“Good. Also, think about doing the same with Dean.” 

“Goodbye, Anna,” Castiel huffed. He didn’t want to think about Dean anymore; the man was living in his head rent-free, and Castiel already had too much stuffed in his mind to make room for more.  

He tossed the phone down beside him on the couch and thought really hard about dinner. Castiel had pros and cons laid out in his head. He’d still get to see his brother and sister; there would just be a new face—only a face. Without thinking, he reached for his phone again.  

Castiel: Do you think I should have a Zoom meeting with my brother and his new girlfriend? 

He pressed ‘send’ before he even realized he texted Dean for his opinion. Castiel had answered a phone call from the man. He obviously wanted his friend’s input...both on his original friend question and this one. He didn’t have to wait long for a reply.  

Dean: A zoom meeting???? 

Castiel: Anna would come to dinner, and Gabriel and Kali would ‘phone it in’ as he said. 

Dean:... 

Dean:... 

Castiel wasn’t sure if Dean was going to be sarcastic or not. Gabriel always was when it came to issues such as this one. 

Dean: I mean...it’s a way to meet her right? 

Castiel: Yes, of course. You still haven’t answered my question.  

Dean: Do it. You don’t want someone physically there—cool. Phone it in. 

Castiel thought about Dean’s suggestion for a few minutes before answering, and even he didn’t expect his next question.  

Castiel: Will you practice with me? 

“Are you insane?” he asked himself. Who in the world asks for an audition for a future Zoom meeting? Castiel was in the process of backtracking when Dean responded.  

Dean: Sure. I’m free tonight. Or is that too soon? 

Castiel was impressed at first because Dean said yes, and secondly, because he seemed eager to help. Was that night too soon? He’d already had one social interaction for the day; was he up for having them twice in one day? Working for himself, he scheduled appointments and deliveries whenever he felt like it...usually sporadically because he dreaded them. But this was Dean... Dean would be low-stress, wouldn’t he? 

Castiel: I think that will be fine.  

What time? Was this a late afternoon meeting, or an evening? Night, Heaven forbid? Before he could suggest a reasonable mid-evening time, Castiel saw the three dots on his screen.  

Dean: Awesome! 7? 

Castiel sighed in relief. Yes, that was acceptable. It should give him more than enough time to re-center himself after therapy. (His conversation with Anna was a usual occurrence and therefore, expected and even welcomed.)  

Castiel: Yes, that sounds fine. I shall set up the meeting for that time. 

He could do this. He would do this.  

Dean: Sounds good man. See ya tonight 

Castiel: Yes, I will see you tonight. 

Castiel immediately opened his Zoom app and scheduled a meeting. He texted the link to Dean and then...waited. He tried to do other things in the few hours between then and his meeting with Dean, but he couldn’t do it. Castiel could think of only Dean Winchester, and the calm way he’d apologized for the disaster of a night they were supposed to meet in person. Was he always like that, or was he just acting more delicate with Castiel? The man didn’t know which answer he preferred. 

As seven o’clock neared, Castiel realized that he needed to eat dinner. He had left over Thai food that he had been looking forward to that evening. Would it bother Dean if Castiel ate during their meeting? He fretted until his alarm told him he had just ten minutes before his meeting with Dean.  

“Shit.” Castiel went to the kitchen and made himself dinner as planned. He grabbed a beer and his laptop and set everything up at the bar—more casual than sitting by himself at the dinner table.  

At one minute to seven, Castiel dialed in for his first face-to-face meeting with Dean. Why was he so nervous?  

The minutes ticked by, however, and as seven-oh-one became seven-oh-six, Castiel began to berate himself for getting his hopes up that he had a real friend in the other man. He forked up some of his leftover Pad Thai and shoved it in his mouth, preparing for a good sulk.  

“Hey, Cas. Sorry, I’m late.” 

Castiel’s eyes shot over to the laptop where Dean sat at a table, food in front of him, and a kind smile on his face. The other man finished chewing and swallowed.  

“Hello, Dean.” Did that sound too formal? “May I ask what kept you?” Castiel winced and started to backtrack when Dean laughed. It was full-bodied and carefree. It turned to chuckles and then a...bashful(?) sigh.  

“I, uh, couldn’t pick out what to wear.” He ran a hand through his hair. “And then I remembered I hadn’t eaten all day and...yeah,” Dean finished, a blush coloring his cheekbones. “Sorry, heh.” 

Was Dean as nervous as Castiel was? He smiled carefully, still unsure how to have a conversation with a (frankly, gorgeous) stranger. Treat it like a new doctor’s appointment, or so he tried telling himself. Castiel smiled...comfortably.  

“I’m glad you found time to eat then.” 

“Heh, yeah, me, too. Looks like we had the same thought,” the man said, forking something into his mouth. “Wha’ ‘a ‘ou ‘ot?” 

Castiel frowned. “I have no idea what you just said,” he commented. 

Dean swallowed his food, wiped his mouth, and took a sip of something from a bottle. “Sorry, my brother says my table manners need work. I asked what you were having.” 

“Oh.” Castiel looked down at his plate. “Leftover Pad Thai. What about you?” 

The men talked for over an hour: cooking, siblings, and entertainment. Dean and Castiel both loved cooking, even for one. Castiel learned that Dean had a younger brother, a lawyer who studied at Stanford (it was obvious that Dean was proud of the younger man). When the conversation veered into work, they (usually Dean) steered them back to other topics. It made Castiel wonder if it was for his benefit or Dean’s, a kind of work-life balance thing.  

They talked for over an hour, finding more things they had in common, like ‘nerding out’ to Lord of the Rings (which apparently meant that if you spent an entire day and night watching the extended edition of the three movies, you were a ‘nerd’).  

It felt...good having someone to ‘share a meal’ with. Castiel thought that the conversation would be awkward (that he would be awkward), but it was...easy. Dean was attentive and curious, not bothered by Castiel’s situation or their odd meeting. It felt to Castiel like the man really did want to spend time with him.  

“You, uh, wanna watch a movie or somethin’?” Dean asked after Castiel told the man he was going to put his dish in the sink.  

Castiel couldn’t see the man’s face to see if he was serious or not. Dean wanted to spend even more time with him? Why? More importantly, how? He came around the corner and looked at the screen. What he saw kind of shocked him: Dean was leaning back in his chair, a beer bottle to his lips, and looked...happy. He was happy having a conversation with Castiel?  

~~~~~ 

Dean looked at the time. “Goddammit!” he exclaimed. He had ten minutes to get on the Zoom call with Castiel, and he still didn’t know what the fuck to wear! 

Anna was out as the ‘supportive friend’ (a role she normally filled well and often) because she was Castiel’s sister. He didn’t want to invite ridicule or unwarranted (though possibly warranted) teasing. He rolled his eyes and called his brother. 

“Hey, I have a thing in five, and I don’t know what to wear,” Dean rushed out as soon as Sam answered. 

“Uh, hi to you, too. What do you mean you don’t know what to wear for a date? You always know what to wear for a date.” 

Dean rolled his eyes. “It’s not a date. It’s more like...an interview, I guess.” He held up a dark green shirt to his chest. No, that one looked like he was trying too hard. He tossed it on the bed with a pile of others.  

“So? Wear a suit if you’re trying to impress somebody.” 

“That only works when I’m workin’, Sammy. This is...” What the hell was this? He was meeting Castiel via Zoom (in less than five minutes). “It’s not that.” 

“Okay... Then what’s wrong with what you always wear?” 

“You know, you’re being really unhelpful right now.” Dean tugged on a pair of ripped jeans and his favorite tee and called it good. 

Sam laughed. “I’m sorry, man, I just don’t know why you’re freaking out.” 

Why was he freaking out? Oh, maybe because a guy he thinks is super-hot invited him to what was essentially an interview to be his damn friend! Dean still had a feeling Castiel was on the fence about the friend thing and wanted to put his best foot forward.  

He was still surprised—hours later—by the request in the first place. He’d been finishing up some paperwork for reimbursement when Castiel texted him. 

Cas: Do you think I should have a Zoom meeting with my brother and his new girlfriend? 

Dean laughed and then remembered who he was speaking to. Castiel didn’t like meeting new people, especially ones that came to his home (announced or unannounced, Dean figured). Whoever’s idea it was, it was pretty brilliant. But then, Castiel said he wanted to practice with Dean. That made him pause. What did that entail exactly?  

Ultimately, however, Dean decided he’d be good, low-stakes practice for the guy.  

Dean: Sure. I’m free tonight. Or is that too soon? 

He didn’t want to spook the guy with something so soon, but it was true: he was free that evening. (There was also a small part of him that didn’t want to lose the chance to actually meet the other man.) 

Cas: I think that will be fine.  

Dean: Awesome! 7? 

Cas: Yes, that sounds fine. I shall set up the meeting for that time. 

Dean: Sounds good man. See ya tonight 

Cas: Yes, I will see you tonight. 

But now, Dean was running late because he was trying to look cool and put together for his non-date with a new friend and--  

“Holy shit, it’s seven. Bye, Sam!” 

“Wh--” 

He rushed into the kitchen with his laptop and set it up on the dining table. As he was about to log on, Dean’s stomach growled, reminding him that he’d forgotten to eat much that day. 

“Shit!” Dean didn’t want his stomach growling during their ‘meeting’, but he felt bad eating if Castiel wasn’t... “Fuck it.” He got up, ran to the fridge for a beer and leftover spaghetti before dropping down into his chair just in time (well, a few minutes late, but better than never showing at all).  

The meeting screen opened, and Dean saw Castiel with his cheeks full of food, a noodle hanging out of his mouth, and a scowl on his face. Dean’s stomach did a weird little flip that he hadn’t felt in ages. It felt really fucking good, like sunshine and warmth and goodness. He smiled. 

“Hey, Cas. Sorry, I’m late.” 

Stunning blue eyes darted up to the laptop camera, giving Dean a full-face image of his gorgeous...friend. Dean swallowed hard. The man finished eating and finally spoke.  

“Hello, Dean. May I ask what kept you?” Castiel winced just as Dean busted out into a loud laugh.  

Moment of truth time... Did Dean tell Castiel the truth (that he was primping) or did he lie and say he forgot? There was no contest. 

“I, uh, couldn’t pick out what to wear.” He ran a hand through his hair (messing it up, dammit!). “And then I remembered I hadn’t eaten all day and...yeah,” Dean finished, a blush coloring his cheekbones. “Sorry, heh.” He was seriously blushing like a pre-teen with a crush.  

Castiel smiled and, completely judgment-free, said, “I’m glad you found time to eat then.” 

“Heh, yeah, me, too. Looks like we had the same thought,” the man said, forking a cold meatball into his mouth. “Wha’ ‘a ‘ou ‘ot?” Jesus fucking Christ, man, pull yourself together. 

Castiel frowned. “I have no idea what you just said,” he commented. 

Dean swallowed his food, wiped his mouth, and took a sip of his beer. He felt another blush creep across his cheeks. “Sorry, my brother says my table manners need work. I asked what you were having.” 

“Oh.” Castiel looked down at his plate. “Leftover Pad Thai. What about you?” 

“Leftover spaghetti. I made it a coupl’a days ago, so...” he shrugged as if that was a complete sentence.  

“Yes, same here, actually,” the other man said with a small smile. Dean considered it a win. He’d yet to see a full smile, but he’d definitely take the small ones.  

“You cook?” 

They talked about food and cooking until Castiel got quiet. “I was making meatloaf the night you...visited.” 

Dean remembered something smelling good when he walked into the house—savory and meaty. There’d also been the smell of rich pine and rain. “Hey, Cas, man... That was a really shitty situation. I’m sorry.” 

Castiel frowned, a deep worry line appearing between his eyebrows (Dean wanted to soothe it away). “That wasn’t your fault, Dean. I--” 

“It wasn’t yours either, dude!” Dean still hadn’t totally forgiven Anna and their other brother for that little fuckup.  

The other man sighed and seemed to stare directly into Dean’s eyes (and soul?). “I suppose I should be happy it was you instead of a surprise stripper.” 

Dean practically howled with laughter. “You’re kidding!” 

“Gabriel has threatened it in the past.” The frown came back. “At least until he and Anna realized it was truly going to be my life now—one of solitude.”  

Dean sighed and shook his head, pushing his plate to the side. “I don’t buy that.” 

“Dean, I--” 

“I’m proof of that. Right now. I’m in your home.” He watched Castiel process what he’d said. He swallowed hard and continued. “I’m your friend, Cas. You’re not gonna be alone anymore.” Dean shrugged a shoulder, looked away, and lifted his beer before drinking it empty.  

“Thank you, Dean. I’m...glad it was you.” 

That stomach feeling came back and almost made Dean nauseated after eating. “Yeah, man, me, too.” He cleared his throat and leaned in. “Tell me more about this stripper threat. I haven’t pranked my little brother in forever, and it’s time.” 

When Castiel smiled and ducked his head, Dean thought he might be in trouble. It would be all too easy to latch onto the other man, develop...not-so-friendly feelings. He needed to be careful. Friendship! he yelled at himself. 

They talked for a long time, or at least it felt long to Dean, and it wasn’t a problem at all. He and Castiel played twenty questions, asking about pretty much everything. Dean drew the line at talking about his escort job, though. Any time the conversation felt like it was headed in that direction, he made it all about being a mechanic.  

After a while, the conversation slowed, and the men were left staring at each other through a computer screen. Castiel stood up during one such lull and said he needed to put his dishes away. 

“You, uh, wanna watch a movie or somethin’?” Dean asked.  

Castiel tilted his head, and the worry line appeared again. (Dean felt a very deep need to try and kiss it away.) “How?” 

Dean shrugged. “We put on the same movie and watch at the same time, duh.” It was pretty obvious! And it was something friends did—watched movies! After talking for over an hour! After practically having dinner together!  

A smile broke out on Castiel’s face. “I think I would enjoy that. What do you have in mind?” 

And that was how, at two a.m., the men fell asleep on their respective couches while watching the newest season of Dr. Sexy. 

Chapter Text

Castiel woke up to his alarm with his neck at an odd angle...on his couch...with his laptop open on the arm, pointing his way. He frowned and sat up straighter, trying to work the kink out of the muscle. He reached out and pressed the space bar, but nothing happened. Castiel frowned harder before realizing that the laptop was no longer plugged in and had, in all likelihood, died.  

“Dean!” 

Of course, Castiel wouldn’t expect the man to still be sitting on the other side of the screen, but it was a sudden and—at the time—very important thing to be cognizant of.  

“I need coffee,” Castiel announced. He looked around for Gertrude before realizing she was probably asleep on his bed. She’d made herself scarce after the men had moved onto the couch and begun watching Dean’s favorite TV show. She wasn’t used to all the activities surrounding having someone new in the house.  

Gertrude did meet Dean, however, when it neared their (Castiel’s and the cat’s) bedtime.  

“Hey, beautiful,” Dean had said to her. The sleek gray cat promptly struck a pose, stayed for exactly ten seconds, and then turned her nose up and walked away toward the staircase. “I think she likes me.”  

Castiel laughed more the night before than he had in...almost a year. He slowly walked to the kitchen to make coffee. He almost grabbed his laptop to take with him before realizing that Dean wasn’t there anymore. It was a silly impulse, thinking that Dean would want to watch him make coffee, of all things. (Not to mention the fact that the other man wasn’t even there.)  

While waiting for the coffee maker to do its thing, Castiel began wondering what Dean’s routine was like in the mornings. Did he get up early to work out as Castiel did? How did he take his coffee? What would he look like, sun-bathed, and in Castiel’s bed? The coffee mug that Castiel was in the process of pulling down from the cabinet fell and hit the floor with a loud crash, breaking into several small pieces. Where did that thought come from? Castiel swallowed hard and shook himself out of his shock.  

He stared down at the ceramic shards for several moments, however, before moving to get the broom and dustpan to clean up the mess. What was he doing thinking about Dean that way? The man was his friend. Friends don’t imagine their other friend lying naked in a rumpled bed beside them...kissing them.  

The coffee maker beeped, making Castiel jump. “Fuck,” he whispered, eyes closed tightly, trying in vain to get his traitorous thoughts under control. Hands shaking only slightly, Castiel put everything away, pulled down a new mug, and filled it to the brim.  

Castiel took his mug to the bar and sat, mind racing around thinking about his evening (night, really) with Dean. The man was funny and charming, charismatic without being too bold. And so far out of Castiel’s league, it was laughable. He’d have to tell his therapist about everything the following week and see what her thoughts were.  

It wasn’t like Castiel was a prolific dater before the incident, but, of course, afterward, it didn’t matter. As he told Dean the night before, he’d accepted that he would be lonely for the rest of his life. He heard Lily in his head, asking, “But what if you didn’t have to be?”  

The last date he had was over a year ago. It’d been with a man named Ishim. Castiel had thought him distinguished when they met, but pompous when it came to dating. They only went out a couple of times before the incident. He remembered that they were supposed to have a date the following night, the night after he was shot. Ishim thought he had been stood up and sent Castiel a nasty text message (and voicemail) ‘breaking up’ with him. Neither Anna nor Gabriel thought it was a great loss. 

What would his siblings think about his dinner with Dean? Would Castiel tell them? Did they really need to know he was so afraid of meeting Gabriel’s girlfriend that he wanted to practice? Would Dean laugh with Anna about how pathetic it all was? 

“Oh, God,” Castiel groaned, dropping his head into his hands. Of course, it was pathetic. How could he expect Dean to be friends with someone like him? Without thinking, he grabbed his phone and opened his thread with Dean.  

Castiel: I’m sorry about last night. I won’t bother you again. 

It wasn’t five minutes later that Dean called.  

“Hello, Dean,” the man sighed, answering the call like it was second nature. 

“Dude, what happened? I thought we had fun. Did I do something wrong?”  

That rendered Castiel speechless. Dean thought that he was the awkward one of the night? He laughed humorlessly. “Dean, I was a disaster. You had a Zoom dinner with a shut-in, lame Alpha. How was that fun for you?”  

Dean was quiet on the other end of the line for a few moments, worrying Castiel more. “Cas, I thought last night was...great, heh.” He cleared his throat. “I think you passed the test to meet Gabriel’s girlfriend.”  

“Right. Last night was...practice.” 

Castiel could hear Dean sigh quietly. “Right.” Why did the man sound disappointed? 

“Thank you, by the way. I’m sure it was awkward, but--” 

“Nah, it was good.” The men were silent. Castiel wished he knew what Dean was thinking! “Do you know when you’ll meet her?” 

“Oh, um, next Thursday. That’s our family dinner night.”  

“Oh, yeah. You, uh, you told me that.” Gertrude hopped up onto the stool beside Castiel and meowed. Dean chuckled. “Tell the princess good morning.” 

Castiel smiled widely. “Yes, that is appropriate.” He looked down at his companion. “Dean says ‘good morning’ and calls you a princess.” The cat flicked her tail. “I think she approves.” He ran a hand from her head, down her back, and over her tail. She arched into it before headbutting Castiel’s hand. “The princess demands breakfast.” 

“And I demand time with that sweet GTO,” Dean said excitedly. They talked a little about the project the night before.  

“Are you already at work then?” 

“Nah, gonna leave in a few minutes.” Dean cleared his throat. “I just wanted to check on you. Your message...” 

“Thank you, Dean.” 

“Yeah, anytime. I should probably get goin’, but, uh... Would you want to...do that—dinner—again sometime? Maybe...soonish?” 

Dean wanted to ‘hang out’ again? “You mean last night wasn’t too...awkward?”  

“I mean, maybe, at first? But we got over it. Friends can hang out more than once, Cas.” The other man could hear Dean’s smile in his voice. “C’mon, please? If nothin’ else, we need to watch another few episodes of Dr. Sexy; close out the season.”  

Castiel rolled his eyes. “That show was horrifically medically inaccurate, Dean. I--” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cowboy boots, Cas. Focus on the cowboy boots. They’re what make Dr. Sexy, sexy.” 

“I don’t think that’s possible.”  

Dean sighed. “Agree to disagree. I got work, and I’m sure you do, too.” 

“Yes, you’re right. Goodbye, Dean.” 

“See ya, Sunshine.” 

Castiel ended the call with a smile before it registered that Dean had called him ‘sunshine’. He was about to call the man back and make sure he didn’t have a stroke when Anna called first. 

“Good morning, Anna.” 

“Oh, good, you’re already up! Listen, I was thinking last night about the Zoom thing with Gabriel and, hear me out--” 

“Dean and I had dinner and watched a television show last night via Zoom. I think I’m prepared now.” 

“I... You what?” 

Dammit, he really was going to tell Anna about his ‘practice run’. “I asked Dean to...practice with me. I set up a meeting and sent him the link. We ended up having dinner ‘together’, and then Dean suggested we watch something.” His lips twitched. “It was...fun.” 

“O-oh. That’s...” Anna cleared her throat. “That’s so great, Cassie! What did you watch?” 

Castiel’s face flamed. Did he dare reveal Dean’s secret love of soap operas? “Oh, I didn’t catch the name. It was some inaccurate medical drama.” 

Anna laughed. “Okay, well, I’m really glad you had fun.” 

“Thank you. I did.” Castiel paused, expecting Anna to ask a question about their dinner with Gabriel. “Was there something about dinner next week that you wanted to talk about?” 

“Oh! Right. I was actually going to suggest I come to dinner through Zoom, too, like a rehearsal.” 

“Oh. That was very thoughtful, Anna. I’m afraid Dean beat you to it.” 

“He did, indeed.” The siblings were quiet again. “So, you had fun. What did you think of Dean? Now that you’ve, like, met and all.” 

A corner of Castiel’s mouth pulled up in a half-smile. “He’s very handsome.” Shit. “Shit. Don’t tell Dean I said that.” Oh, God, what if Dean found out that Castiel thought he was handsome? Would the man still want to be friends? 

“Oh, my God, Castiel!” Anna squealed. Castiel pulled the phone away from his ear for a moment and winced. “You two totally need to meet in person!” 

He found that he almost wanted to say yes. “I...don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“Yet, Cassie. It’s not a good idea yet.”  

Castiel tilted his head and scowled, feeling tension across his brow line. “I’m not sure I understand your meaning, Anna.” 

“Don’t worry about it, Big Brother. I need to get going to a salon appointment. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” 

“Yes, I’ll talk to you later. Have a good day.” 

“You, too!” 

~~~~~ 

“Oh, my fucking God!” Dean exclaimed when he got off the phone with Castiel. “Are you fucking twelve?” He stopped yelling and started muttering about how idiotic he sounded.  

Oh, no, Cas didn’t have any fun! I need to make sure it wasn’t because of me immediately! Dean rolled his eyes at himself as he backed out of his parking space to leave for the auto shop.  His entire morning was spent analyzing and dissecting his night with Castiel.  

Had Dr. Sexy been a bad choice for watching with him? Maybe. The man did interrupt a lot to ask questions or point out what was ‘grossly wrong’ with a procedure, scene, piece of dialogue... Dean laughed, remembering the number of times he had to pause his TV, mute himself on Zoom, and laugh out loud at the guy. (He’d never truly laugh at him; Dean wasn’t like that.)  

Castiel also said the love triangle—which Dean had to explain was a thing and ended up using the word ‘fucktangular’ to describe Dr. Sexy’s...situationships (something else Dean had to awkwardly explain)--was a horrible way to portray romance. 

“Dude,” Dean had said, “when was the last time you were in love, huh? It’s like that.” 

“Well, I’ve never been in love, so I don’t think I quite understand the appeal.” 

“Of sex?” Dean had yelled (squeaked). 

“No, Dean,” Castiel patiently replied. “I meant that I don’t understand the appeal of a love triangle.” 

Dean laughed a little breathlessly. “Nobody does, pal.” 

But then he started watching Castiel watch the show through his laptop rather than watch on his own TV. The way the man’s mouth curved up was... 

“Fucking hell!” Dean pulled his hand away from the sander, shaking it, trying to make it stop hurting.  

“That’s what you get for workin’ around here with damn heart eyes all day,” Bobby groused, coming over to help Dean clean up the small blood spatters on the counter. “Lemme see.” Dean grabbed a paper towel and dabbed his thumb. He’d practically abraded his fingerprint off, and it hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. “You’ll live. Let’s bandage you up.” 

Dean nodded and followed Bobby back to the staff lounge/office. He got out a first aid kit and gestured for the younger man to wash his hands.  

“I don’t have fucking heart eyes, by the way. The muffler got away from me’s all.” 

“Uh-huh. C’mere and let me see this.” Bobby inspected Dean’s thumb and hand, making sure nothing was cut or scraped too badly. “Nothin’ to piece back together.” 

“Yeah, like you said, I’ll live.” Dean reached into the first aid kit for the antiseptic wipe for himself. He refused to meet his surrogate father’s eyes.  

Bobby had been a friend of John Winchester’s for as long as Dean could remember. He was also John’s only friend after his wife died, and he checked the fuck out. He was the one to find out Dean was selling himself to make rent. Bobby found him—all his wise sixteen years—trying to 'hustle pool'...on his knees...in the grubby bathroom of the dive bar. The man didn’t say a word, but his stare spoke volumes.  

Dean left the bar—without his money—and didn’t talk to Bobby for a month. When it came time for Sam’s birthday, however, Dean wanted to throw the squirt a real party for his twelve-year-old self. He wanted Bobby’s help, and he had to ask for it in order for everything to work out the way he wanted. 

“Can I ask why?” the man asked gruffly but quietly as he flipped a pancake onto Dean’s plate. 

The teenager shrugged. “Kinda obvious, Bobby,” Dean muttered.  

Bobby sighed. “Ain’t no way you’d stop and take money from me and Ellen, wouldja?” 

Dean chuckled mirthlessly. “Yeah, right.” 

“Don’t be stupid, ya idjit. Hear me?” And Dean did. 

Bobby knew he was an escort, along with working at Singer’s Auto and Restoration. After that day, however, and continuing to the present, the man never said another word about it.  

“What’s got you all worked up today anyway?” Bobby asked, placing a piece of gauze on Dean’s thumb.  

Dean frowned. “’m not worked up, either.” 

The older man rolled his eyes and deftly taped the gauze to secure it. “Whatever you say, Dean.” 

“Fine! There’s...a guy. He’s a friend of a friend. He’s a hermit, or practically, won’t leave the house. He’s Anna’s brother.” Oh, God, stop talking! “He, uh, was in an accident last year and... I don’t know why I’m tellin’ you this,” Dean finally muttered. He pulled his hand away from Bobby and tested his thumb’s mobility (limited but workable...at least it was his left hand).  

“Haven’t heard you talk about anyone specific in...ever,” the other man said, surprise evident in his voice. Bobby was right, though: Dean was very tight-lipped about his life—both professional and personal.  

He sighed, and Bobby stood to take the kit back to the cabinet where he found it. “Yeah, well, Cas is...different.” 

Bobby looked pointedly at Dean’s hand. “Must be.” 

Dean felt his entire body flash hot, and then all the blood inside him rushed to his face. “Thanks,” he mumbled before fleeing back to the main floor. Shit, that was embarrassing. He kept his head down for the rest of the day, buried up to his elbows in the engine parts of his GTO project.  

Without a date that night, Dean stayed working at the shop much later than he normally would have. He’d been ignoring Sam’s texts and calls all evening. He turned off the notifications and went back to work. When Dean heard a familiar boop-boop call of FaceTime, he knew it wasn’t his brother.  

Standing up faster than he should have, Dean hit his head on the raised hood of the car just as he reached for his pocket to grab his phone. Cas lit up the screen. The man had been on his mind all fucking day. Castiel hadn’t bothered to text or call since early that morning, but now, he wanted to FaceTime? (Even with notifications off, Dean checked his phone at least every twenty minutes to make sure he didn’t miss anything from Castiel.) 

“Hey, Cas. You good?” 

The man on the other end of the call narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. “Hello, Dean. You have...something on your face.” 

“Huh?” Dean looked at his reflected self in the corner of the screen. He rolled his eyes when his gaze focused. “Shit. It’s grease from the engine I’m workin’ on. Hang on.” Nice—answer the phone without checking to see how you look. Not even a fucking rookie made that move! He set the phone down on the towel he had been leaning on to avoid scuffing the paint even more.  

“The GTO?” Castiel asked, sounding muffled, the farther away Dean went for the towels at his station.  

“Uh, yeah,” Dean called out, his voice carrying clearly to the phone. He grabbed a paper towel and wiped his face. Grease, sweat, and dirt came away on the blue towel. Dean rolled his eyes. Nice look you got goin’ on there, Winchester. “Yeah, I got busy on her and couldn’t stop, heh.” He grabbed another towel and wiped his hands, and then got another two for his face.  

“Dean, I don’t mind--” 

“I’m here!” Dean popped his face back over the phone, the camera catching him from a...very interesting angle. He swallowed hard, looking down at Castiel, picturing his navy sheets under the man all too easily. He licked his lips, and Castiel looked away. Dean picked up the phone and cleared his throat, checking himself out in the inset picture. Dammit, now it’s the fucking hair!  

Castiel cleared his throat before returning his gaze to Dean’s. “It’s gone. The grease.” 

“Uh, heh, yeah. So, uh, what’s up?” Dean tried to school his face into an easy smile, but dear God, that had sounded awful.  

“Oh, yes. Um, I was wondering if you would like to...watch something. Later! You’re obviously still at work, so now wouldn’t be a good time.” Castiel paused and frowned. “Dean, it’s after eleven. Why are you still working?” 

The man didn’t have a good answer for that... Did he say that ever since he’d admitted to Bobby that Castiel was special, he hadn’t been able to think of all the ways fast enough? And because he wanted to think of them, he threw himself into his work and lost complete track of time. 

“I got caught up with the engine, and once I dig in, heh, I gotta finish it.” He opened his eyes to see an eerie yellow eyeball looking at him disdainfully.  

“Gertrude, no.” Castiel removed the cat from wherever she was sitting and came back into view. Dean noticed Castiel was wearing his glasses.  

“You tryin’ out a new look?” 

“I beg your pardon?” 

Dean walked over and sat down on an upturned red milk crate. He gestured at his eyes. “The glasses.” 

“Oh!” Castiel rushed to pull them off. “I was up late...working. I usually wear them when I...work.”  

“So, you’re callin’ me at...” Dean looked at his watch. It was eleven-twenty-two. “...nearly midnight because you were up working late?” That was weird, right? Even for Castiel? The man’s face fell, and Dean felt like shit. “I mean...like, you’re not hurt or anything, right? I just want to make sure of that, I--” 

“Yes, yes. I’m...fine. I...” Castiel stopped and sighed. He reached up and tugged on his right earlobe. He’s nervous, Dean realized with a small, tender smile.  

“You good, Cas? What’s up?” he asked gently.  

The other man sighed again. “I dozed off and had a nightmare. I... You were the first person I thought to call.” 

“Oh.” That was... That...meant something. “Thanks for that, Cas. I’m glad you thought you could count on me.” 

“Yes, well, I’m glad I didn’t wake you. Or interrupt another date.” 

“Right. Right, a date.” Dean hadn’t had a date lined up since his last disastrous date with Bela. Even Mildred hadn’t set anything up since the month before. “I, uh, heh. Guess even hookers go through dry spells,” he said with a shrug and a self-deprecating smile. Why did his stomach twist when he thought about Castiel and work at the same time? 

“So, I’m not interrupting you? Other than the engine, of course!” 

“Yeah, no, Cas, you’re good. What’d’ya wanna talk about?” 

Chapter Text

“I don’t know if I can do this, Dean,” Castiel said Thursday night as he cooked dinner for him and his sister.  

“Dude, it’s not any different than what we’re doing right this second. You’re gonna be fine.” 

Castiel’s laptop was set up next to the stove; the Zoom call opened with Dean’s face filling his screen. He glanced that way. The scene was almost exact: Dean stood at the stove with the laptop aimed in his direction, too. The man was fixing pizza for him and his brother, who was coming over for an impromptu dinner.  

“Do you think Sam has news to share?” Castiel asked, changing the subject. 

“Don’t change the subject. And probably.” Dean reached up and switched knobs to the left or the right. “He’s been dating this new chick, Jess. I think he wants us to meet soon.” Castiel watched Dean flip the kitchen towel over his shoulder and snap before pointing finger guns at the stove. He laughed and got to see Dean glance down and blush. “Shut up and worry about your own dinner.” 

“My dinner is done, pending my sister’s arrival.” 

“Yeah, well, mine--” Dean was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. The men looked at each other oddly.  

“Was that you or me?” they asked together. Then Castiel heard the alert on his phone that someone was at the door.  

“It’s Anna,” he announced. Castiel was about to excuse himself to get to the door when he realized that he would have to end his conversation with Dean soon. “Um, I don’t suppose you’d like to continue despite her--” The doorbell sounded again, almost more insistently. Castiel rolled his eyes and sighed. “Excuse me.” 

He wiped his hands on his apron and walked out of the kitchen to the sound of Dean’s laughter. He was starting to get used to hearing the sound. Before, his house was too quiet. Now, as he and Dean got to know each other and he allowed the man into his space, it was slowly becoming louder. Castiel liked it. It meant he wasn’t alone. His Alpha often preened when he was able to make his Omega—the Omega, of course—laugh. (Dean was in no way his.) 

“Finally!” Anna exclaimed when Castiel finally opened the door. She launched herself into her brother’s arms for a hug. “God, I was about to use my keys!” 

Castiel sighed and replied to his overly dramatic sister, “I’m fine. I was just cooking and talking to Dean.” 

Anna grabbed Castiel’s arm as he turned to go down the short flight of stairs. “Whoa, is Dean here? I didn’t see his car.” 

Castiel frowned. “Of course, not. He’s in the kitchen.” He turned and left a confused Anna in his wake.  

“Hi, Anna!” Dean yelled from the laptop.  

“Oh, my God, Dean Winchester is in my brother’s kitchen.” The woman sounded awestruck as she turned the corner and saw Castiel’s setup at the stove. He looked at the laptop where Dean stood in his own kitchen, waving. “What is happening?” 

“Sammy’s comin’ over! Cas thinks he has somethin’ to tell me.” 

“I do. I think you’ll get to meet the new woman soon.” 

Anna sat down quietly at the bar and watched her brother and one of her best friends interact. The men talked (and occasionally remembered to include her in conversation), and she heard her big brother’s laugh for the first time in ages. She felt tears gather in her eyes.  

Clearing her throat, the woman announced, “Well, I’m going to the ladies’. Cassie, say goodbye to Dean. Our dinner with Gabe starts in a few minutes.” She stood and waved at Dean before practically running up the stairs and into the hall bathroom. She pulled out her phone and frantically called Gabriel.  

“Dudette, can you not wait five minutes?” the elder Novak answered, sounding bored already.  

“You. Have. To. See. This!” Anna whisper-yelled. She pulled the phone away from her ear and sent Gabriel a short video. “Watch that right now.” 

Gabriel let out a put-upon sigh but did as he was told. Ten seconds later, he asked, “What the actual fuck did I just watch? Was that Castiel flirting with someone?” 

“He told a joke to Dean, and they both laughed! Gabe!” Anna felt emotion clog her throat and tears flood her eyes. “Your stupid idea worked. Cassie has a new friend.” 

“I think you mean they both have a new crush.” 

Anna let out a watery chuckle. “Well, yeah, that, too. Thank you, Gabe.” They were slowly getting their brother back, piece by piece, and over the last several weeks, they’d been bigger pieces and more frequently—thanks in large part to Dean.  

“Anna?” Castiel called from outside the door. “Are you alright?” 

“Shit!” she hissed, ending the call to Gabriel. “Yes!” She flushed the toilet and quickly turned on the faucet to pretend to wash her hands. “I just had to answer a text first.” 

“Alright. I’ll see you downstairs.” 

“Yep!” 

Castiel stood outside the door for a moment longer before making himself go back downstairs.  

“She good?” Dean asked as the other man turned the corner into the kitchen.  

“Yes, she said there was a text she needed to answer.” 

“Alright, cool. Look at me, Cas.” Castiel sighed and walked closer to the laptop, angling the screen and leaning against the counter to ‘meet Dean’s eyes’. “You’ve got this, okay? No different from us. It’s...” 

Castiel stopped paying attention after Dean said ‘no different from us’. No, very different from us, he thought. He dreaded the call with Gabriel and Kali, and that was his family! Dean was...different. Dean had no expectations, no preconceived notions. He seemed to like Castiel just as he was and didn’t actively try to change that (unlike some people...he was still a little bitter about their disastrous first meeting).  

“Hey, you hear me, Sunshine?” 

Castiel blushed, both because he had definitely not heard what Dean was saying and because of the nickname. He cleared his throat. “No, I did not.”  

Dean rolled his eyes (fondly?). “I was sayin’ that if you can get through talkin’ to me on the computer, Gabe and Kali should be smooth sailin’. Besides, you can always duck out to the bathroom or something to take a break, yeah?” 

Castiel nodded. “Yeah.”  

Anna came around the corner and sat down at the bar once again, thoroughly enjoying the interaction between her brother and friend.  

The doorbell sounded again, this time on Dean’s end. “Here’s Sammy. Okay, you’ve got this. Let me know how it goes.” 

Castiel nodded again. “I will,” he replied with a small smile. For some reason, he really wished Dean could join them. He’d feel more comfortable with the other man present...and in person. They ended their call, and Castiel went to put the finishing touches on dinner.  

“You two are cute.” 

“There’s nothing to be cute about.”  

“I just mean it’s nice that Dean’s got your back, is all.” 

“Hm.” Castiel chose to put it out of his mind. He liked Dean far more than should be alright for ‘friends’, and it was beginning to become problematic in Castiel’s mind. “Will you set the table, please, Anna?” The woman rolled her eyes but stood and went to get plates, silverware, and napkins for her and her brother. “Did Gabriel say if he was cooking tonight?” 

“You mean burning? No. Apparently, Kali can cook, though, so he won’t starve.” (Gabriel may have been an outstanding baker, but making food-food was not his forte.)

“Yes, that is good to know.”  

As the time for their dinner meeting grew closer, Castiel began to get nervous again. It would be the first time—no, second—that he’d let a stranger ‘into’ his home; first Dean, and now Gabriel’s girlfriend.  

Castiel excused himself to the restroom after dishing dinner and setting it on the table. If Anna thought it was strange, she didn’t mention it (thankfully). He just needed to text Dean for one more bit of encouragement.  

Castiel: Will you be available after dinner? 

The man paced as he waited for an answer before realizing that Dean had a dinner guest of his own. Castiel sighed and left his room, heading back downstairs to face someone new. As he reached the kitchen, his phone pinged.  

Dean: Course dude 

“Okay,” Castiel whispered. He checked the time. There were only a few minutes left before dinner began. He grabbed his laptop from the counter and took it to the dining table. Castiel and Anna sat on the same side of the table so that they’d both be able to see their brother.  

He opened the meeting, and the two prepared to wait ten to fifteen minutes for Gabriel to get himself together and join in. They were surprised, therefore, when the man logged on only three minutes past seven.  

“Hey, fam!” Gabriel greeted joyfully. Castiel smiled widely. Yes, this was going to be okay.  

~~~~~ 

Dean tucked his phone back under his thigh, where he could feel it if it buzzed again.  

“You gonna check your phone all night?” Sam asked (almost innocently).  

“Nah, just had to answer that one real quick.” Dean lifted his pizza and took a huge bite. Sam scoffed and shook his head. “Wha’?”  

“How you get dates is beyond me. Your table manners--” 

“Hey, it’s called acting, Sasquatch. I can be a gentleman when I wanna be.” 

Sam smirked. “Uh-huh.” 

“Shut up and eat.” Dean couldn’t enjoy his meal because Castiel permeated his mind. Sam asked a question? Dean had to hear it again. Sam made a snarky comment? Dean let it slide. 

“Okay, what’s with you?” the younger man finally asked.  

“Nothing! I’m waiting for you to spill what you wanted to tell me.” Sam didn’t know about Castiel or their odd friendship. Dean wanted to tell his brother about the weird, dorky guy he was falling for, but-- Dean’s brain went offline for a good five seconds. Falling for Cas? Absolutely not. He pushed that thought far, far, far away and went back to goading Sam. He cleared his throat. “Well?” 

Sam’s face flamed with a blush. Dean laughed. “Fine. I want you to meet Jess, okay?” 

“That’s all, man? Sure!” 

“Well, I was kind of thinking it could be a double date.” 

Dean was confused. “A date with who?”  

“Whoever you’ve been texting for the last month! Dude, you haven’t rubbed your work in my face in weeks and--” 

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re so easy to bait.” It was true. Dean drove Sam crazy, exaggerating his job’s... perks. (It took Sam a long time to come to terms with both what Dean did when they were growing up and what he was doing now, but time and seeing Dean happy smoothed some of the rougher edges.) 

Sam rolled his eyes. “And you’ve been talking about these mystery movie nights with someone.” 

Dean frowned. Had he mentioned Castiel to Sam before? “How do you know that?” 

“Because every time I call you--” 

“Which you can stop, by the way.” 

“--you’re always on the computer with someone.” Dean frowned again. “Dude, I can hear the echo. You’re not subtle. You’re even blushing when you answer those texts!”  

The man was speechless. His thoughts were racing, though. Why was he so secretive about Castiel? He was a friend, and friends talked about their friends to other people. Aside from Donna, Jody, Anna, and Gabriel, however, no one else knew about the strange man he’d befriended.  

“I...have this...new friend, okay?” 

“Thank you! Jesus, was that so hard to admit?” 

In for a penny... “He’s agoraphobic and has a thing about other people in his house. So, we text and get on the computer and watch movies together and make dinner together sometimes.” Dean grinned. “Cas has a cat that’s a total diva. He’ll...” he trailed off when he caught sight of Sam’s smug smile. “What?” 

“You have a crush. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with a crush.”  

Yeah, because crushes in my business can lead to being crushed, Dean thought forlornly, realizing that Sam was right. “Shut up.” He took the rest of his pizza and stuffed it in his mouth. Sam kept talking. 

“I still want you to meet Jess. If, uh, Cas can make it, that’d be cool too.”  

Dean narrowed his eyes as he chewed. “Cas ain’t gonna be there, so get that outta your head. Yes, I’d love to meet the woman who has you gooey-eyed all the time. Cheers,” he finished, raising his bottle of beer in a toast.  

After Sam left an hour later, Dean felt buzzy. His thoughts were centered on the falling for Castiel thing that he’d thought he buried. Yeah, so Dean liked the guy; no big deal. Yeah, so maybe, once in a while (read: quite often), Dean would jack off to the idea of them together. He licked his lips before wiping them with his hand. 

He stopped and dropped his head back onto his shoulders. Now he was getting horny. “Fuck.”  

Dean thought back to that very first time he’d thought of Castiel while getting off. Shit, it’d been just a couple of weeks ago that it happened... 

It was getting late, and he could tell Castiel was getting sleepy because his voice became deeper, and he began slurring his words. Dean had laughed, but Castiel had moaned. The sound shot straight to his cock.  

He swallowed hard, trying to wet his suddenly dry mouth. “You, uh, okay there, pal?” That sounded normal...right? 

“I’ve been lying awkwardly and finally stretched.” 

“Ah.” 

“I believe this is where I leave you,” Castiel said in his gravelly voice. (Fuck, Dean was getting hard.) 

“Uh, yeah, if you’re ready for bed.” I wanna go, too...  

“Mm, yes, I believe so.” The man sounded soft and comfortable.  

Dean closed his eyes and bit his lip. Oh, God, he could see it too clearly; him in bed with Castiel... “Night, Cas.” He was fully hard and seconds away from palming himself.  

“Goodnight, Dean.”  

The call ended, and Dean tossed his phone to the side while moaning. “Fuck, why did that sound so fucking sexy?” he wondered out loud while pushing his pants and underwear down his thighs. He wrapped a hand around his hot length and began stroking slowly. He groaned low in his throat.  

He could imagine it perfectly... Dean with Castiel, only it was early morning, not late at night. The man would be on top of him, pressing him into the mattress. They’d be naked, rubbing their cocks gently against each other, building the pleasure incrementally. They’d be kissing (and oh, fuck, what would it be like to get his lips on Castiel’s pillowy-looking ones?), and Castiel would already have three fingers inside him, slick easing their slide and easily stretching his hole.  

Dean moaned again. Castiel would leverage himself above Dean, his cock replacing his fingers, and would push inside him slowly. Dean’s hips stuttered, and he came without warning over his fist and onto his abdomen.  

“Ah! What the...fuck?” he panted, looking down at himself. It may have been a few days since he’d jerked off, but there was no way that orgasm should’ve been that good. (And each one after it was just as awesome.) 

Dean sighed and decided that a shower was necessary. He tried valiantly to not get hard but ultimately failed.  

“Shit,” the man hissed as he leaned his forehead against the shower wall. Dean stroked himself quickly. He turned around and leaned his back against the wall instead.  

He moved his hand in fast strokes, squeezing the head when he reached it and twisting his wrist. With his other hand, Dean sank two fingers into his ass with a wanton cry, feeling a stretch and burn that he really enjoyed. Slick dripped past them, making their slide in and out smooth. 

Fuck, what would it be like with Castiel for real? Dean came quickly after that thought, but his high was suddenly brought down by the realization that them—together—wasn’t an option. The man sighed and finished washing, taking his time, definitely not thinking about what he thought about earlier.  

The following morning, Dean waited impatiently for Castiel to text him about dinner the night before. He didn’t want to bombard the man with questions first thing, but it was hard to resist.  

Dean was in his office chair, spinning around, trying not to pick up his phone to call Castiel when Donna and Jody knocked on his door. Slightly dizzy, the man looked up and frowned. “What’d I do?” 

The women walked in, and Jody closed the door behind them. They chose chairs and sat down. Dean was about to vibrate out of his skin.  

Donna spoke first, “Dean, are you happy here?” 

“Uh...yes?” 

“No, seriously.” 

“I was going through monthly reports and noticed that you didn’t turn one in,” Jody explained. 

Oh. “Oh.” Yeah, he didn’t do that, did he? “Oops,” he said with a bashful smile.  

“You’ve never even turned in a report late, let alone not one at all.”  

Donna took a breath. “We looked at your calendar, Dean. Do you still want to work here? You’ve not had--” 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Y’all are lookin’ at schedules now?” It wasn’t a huge invasion of privacy because clients signed a waiver; Dean signed a waiver. The Freedom of Information Act was alive and well at Wayward Services.  

“We got worried, Dean.” 

The man huffed and pulled up his calendar on his phone. Huh. Yeah, he had been turning down more appointments over the last several weeks. If they fell on a movie night with Castiel, he nixed them immediately. The problem was that the men had a movie night almost every night. Dean wanted the guy to know he had a friend at the ready! (A friend who jerked off to him every night...) 

As Dean was about to give his rebuttal, Castiel texted. He met Donna’s eyes and didn’t miss Jody’s raised eyebrows. He picked up his phone and checked the message. 

Cas: I’m afraid dinner was awkward. 

Dean smiled. He doubted it could have been that awkward. Jody cleared her throat. 

“Are we interrupting?” 

“It’s...Anna’s brother.” 

“Oh, really?” Donna asked; the glint in her eyes was obvious. Dean felt his ears heat. Had the other Omega not been wearing blockers, her scent would probably be ripe with mischief. 

Dean blushed harder. “Yeah, so?” 

“So, you’re not going out because of your new...friend?” Jody tried to clarify. Yes, she’d gone into her employee’s calendar (as was her right, stated in their contracts) to find it bare. Usually, Dean had one or two nights a week that he blocked off for his various clients. The past month and a half, he had no appointments of any kind.  

“I...” Fuck. Dean was stuck. Either he admitted his budding feelings (and the ick factor that came along with fucking himself silly over one guy while going out with someone else, even if it was only once), or he said he was in a dry spell. He didn’t know which was supposed to be more embarrassing for him.  

“Dean, you can always quit,” Donna told him quietly. She had when she met Jody, Dean remembered. Had they been on only one date before Donna hung up her garters?  

He blushed again and leaned back in his chair. “I like the guy, but there’s...nothin’. I just...haven’t been feelin’ it,” Dean finished with a shrug.  

Donna smiled kindly at him. “Take all the time you need, hon.”  The women stood and left the office, leaving Dean confused and alone. 

Chapter Text

After dinner with Gabriel and Kali ended, Castiel simply sat and absorbed everything that had happened over the past two hours.  

Kali was lovely and seemed to understand the importance of her acceptance in his home. She asked no invasive questions (likely having gotten the ‘lowdown’ from Gabriel on Castiel’s conditions) but offered information about herself freely. She was a therapist (which shocked the other Novak siblings into silence...and made Castiel a little nervous) and seemed to really like Gabriel despite his childishness. 

“How on Earth do you stand it?” Anna finally asked after her third glass of wine.  

“Stand what?” Kali asked, a small smile just barely visible behind her own glass. 

“Gabriel's antics or whatever!” the other woman exclaimed. “He’s a pest!” 

Kali looked over at Gabriel (who was beginning to pout) with adoration. “Yes, but he’s my pest, isn’t he?” The man in question smiled, completely besotted.  

“’Scuse me, kiddos, but I think it’s time we get our night...moving along.” Gabriel winked exaggeratedly at the computer. “If ya know what I mean!” 

Castiel laughed at his brother’s foolishness (having indulged in the wine himself). “I’m very glad to have met you, Kali,” he said genuinely. Gabriel choked on whatever he was drinking, and Anna looked like she might cry. “What?” 

Anna cleared her throat and blinked rapidly. “Dean’s been really good for you, is all,” she said with a small sniffle.  

Gabriel turned to Kali. “Hey, babe, do you mind skedaddling for a sec? The sibs and I need to pow-wow.” 

“And how do you understand him?” Anna blurted out before covering her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled.  

Kali laughed. “I speak several languages; I’ve simply added ‘Gabriel’ to the list.” She leaned over and kissed the man’s cheek before picking up plates and walking away. 

“Why did you send Kali away?” Castiel asked, very confused. “She was--” 

“Dude! You said you were glad to meet her!” Gabriel yelled. (Castiel was more than sure Kali was still within hearing distance.) 

The man blushed. “Yes, I did.” He lowered his gaze. “I do believe Dean has been good for me.” Under the table, Castiel began to twist his hands. Was it bad that his friendship with Dean was having such an effect on him?  

Anna smiled widely. “I’m really happy for you.” 

“Yeah, broski, ‘bout time we meet your boyfriend, right?”  

Castiel blushed. “I’m sorry, b-boyfriend? As in boyfriend?” No, of course, not! Dean wouldn’t want to be with him; it was ridiculous!  

Anna frowned slightly. “I don’t think they’re quite there yet, Gabe.”  

“You, too?” Castiel accused her. “Dean would never... I’m not...” He clasped his hands tightly together. “I think you should go.” It hurt him to say it, but it hurt him more to think that his siblings thought he had a chance with the other man—that he was worthy of the other man. His Alpha began to pace; anxiety likely tainted his scent. 

“Cassie, I--” 

“Gabriel, please tell Kali it was wonderful to meet her—truly—and that I hope we see each other again—truly. Anna, I’ll walk you out.” 

Anna huffed. “Castiel, you’re not as broken as you like to think you are.”  

“I’m with Anna-Banana. Peace out, youse two.” Gabriel waved and left their meeting.  

Castiel sighed and began to gather dishes to take to the kitchen. “What, Anna?” He could feel her stare boring into the back of his neck. 

“I think Dean likes you, Cassie. If gossip around the office is true--” 

“I will not listen to gossip about Dean.” On that, Castiel was firm. Dean’s private life was none of his business.  

It was Anna’s turn to sigh. “Castiel--” 

“Good night, Anna.” 

“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?” Anna grabbed her purse and stomped off. When Castiel heard the front door slam, he let himself sag at the sink. It was futile to get his hopes up that Dean would want anything more than friendship. He was broken on a fundamental level—neither he nor his Alpha would ever fully recover. 

That night, however, Castiel dreamed easily of a relationship with Dean. They shared dinners together in person. They watched movies in person. They touched...  

Dean straddled Castiel’s lap as they kissed on the couch in Castiel’s living room. They grinded into each other, panted into each other’s mouths, and fought with clothing. Castiel could almost smell Dean’s slick, something with vanilla. Dream Castiel sank into Dean’s tight heat quickly, while Dream Dean moaned and squeezed around him. Real Castiel woke up, coming in his sleep pants, knot swollen with nothing to milk it. This was bad. 

Yes, Castiel had harbored a sort of...crush on Dean for the past several weeks, but it was only because the man was so wonderful! He was kind and thoughtful and didn’t rush Castiel or judge him or find him off-putting because of his limitations. This sexual attraction didn’t fit in with his current narrative at all.  

He didn’t contact Dean right away the following morning, like he normally would have—just to tell him about dinner (not to wish him a good morning or anything). After a couple of hours, though, he couldn’t wait any longer. He needed to talk about the dinner (but not the other part!).  

Castiel: I’m afraid dinner was awkward. 

He waited a few minutes before going back to work. Unfortunately, the green tone he was currently using for a client’s wedding invitations looked exactly like Dean’s eyes. About the time he closed the program, Dean texted him back. 

Dean: I doubt it could’ve been that bad 

Castiel: The meal itself was fine. Kali was very nice. 

Dean: Then what was awkward? 

“It wasn’t you there with us.” Castiel surprised himself with his admission. 

Dean: Just because it was a little awkward doesn’t mean it was a failure 

Castiel sighed.  

Castiel: I suppose you’re right. 

Dean sent a selfie; he smiled brightly. The text beneath read, I’m always right! 

For a week, things remained normal. Castiel and Dean talked every day, whether it was by text, phone call, or Zoom. They continued to have dinner together and watch movies afterward. Then, Castiel realized the anniversary of his shooting was just a week away. 

For four days, Castiel had nightmares and near-constant panic attacks. Anna had come to stay with him for a night, only to be thrown out the next morning for daring to bring up that an extra therapy appointment that week wouldn’t be a bad thing. She skirted around the topic of the nightmares, but Castiel knew she wanted to ask. 

He stayed up for another two days, ignoring his phone, work, and anything that reminded him of the outside world.  

When the day arrived, the man wandered around his own house like a ghost. Castiel’s shoulder ached all day; rain was coming, just like the day last year. When it started thundering around noon, he had to take some extra of his anxiety medicine to try and keep his breath from hitching. Castiel stuck mostly to his living room, huddled under a blanket with a series of nature documentaries lined up for watching.  

His therapist texted him several times that day. He’d declined making an appointment, though perhaps he should have taken the woman up on it. When his shoulder began throbbing again, he began crying and shaking. Why had he kicked Anna out? She’d be a comfort since Gertrude could only help so much.  

Castiel was in the kitchen, forcing himself to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, when the doorbell rang. The man jumped a foot in the air and nearly choked on his bite of sandwich. Surely, Anna and Gabriel hadn’t decided to come over. His phone alerted him to the unwanted visitor, and he opened his security app. Dean’s wet face greeted him just before his phone began to ring.  

“Hello, Dean,” he greeted dully. 

“Hey, Cas, I know I said I’d never come back, but Anna told me what day it was. You’ve had me scared shitless this week, heh. Answer your damn texts once in a while, asshat.”  

“Why are you here?” 

“I told you: Anna told me what today was for you. I-I'm really sorry, Cas, but I don’t think you should be alone anymore today.”  

“You should leave, Dean,” Castiel said quietly. Thunder sounded again, and he jumped. “Fuck,” he hissed. 

“Cas? Please, man.” Dean sounded almost desperate. What would it mean, letting Dean into his home—for real? The man had already found his way through most of Castiel’s other defenses. What was one more? 

He sighed. “I’ll be right there.” Castiel ended the call abruptly and looked down at the security app again. Dean scowled up at the camera above the door before flipping him off. He engaged the speaker. “Keep that up, and you won’t be invited in.” Castiel watched Dean roll his eyes and thought he was going to regret this for a multitude of reasons. He closed the app, took a deep breath, and walked slowly to the front door. 

~~~~~ 

Dean barged into Anna’s office without knocking. “What’s wrong with Cas?” he asked urgently.  

Anna looked up at him sadly and sighed, knowing exactly what was happening. “Today’s the one-year anniversary of the shooting.” 

“So, he’s been ignoring you, too, I take it?” The woman nodded. Dean walked farther into the office before dropping down onto the loveseat across from Anna’s desk. “Well, that makes me feel a little better.” 

“He hasn’t had a good week, Dean. Cassie--” 

“Yeah, I can figure it out.” 

It had been fine on the first and second day when Castiel didn’t respond to Dean’s texts. The man responded sporadically and was really locked in when he worked. It wasn’t too unusual for him to ignore Dean in favor of it (Dean got it). But by day four, he was going insane, worrying about the man. His Omega paced with its own anxiety over its Alpha being in trouble. 

Dean had waited as long as he could before going to Anna, but it had to be done. He had to know what was wrong with Castiel. Hearing that it was the worst anniversary ever calmed him somewhat. Knowing that Castiel was going through Hell alone, however, hurt him deeper than he thought it would.  

“How pissed would Cas be if I went to see him this afternoon?” 

Anna’s eyebrows shot up. “Dean, I don’t think that’s a very good idea. I mean, he’s barely spoken to Gabe or me, I don’t think he’ll talk to you, either.” She chuckled a little. “Plus, he practically threw me out after one night.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I heard his nightmares, Dean, and he--” A tear slid down her cheek as she shook her head. “Will you please try?” 

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I’ll try.” 

By the time he was able to go over to Castiel’s, it had started storming. Dean remembered something about the weather when the man was originally shot. He pressed a little harder on the gas pedal.  

Dean sat in his car for a moment. This was okay, right? Just a friend worried about another friend. It wasn’t like he wanted to bundle the man up and hold him all night or anything... Dean rolled his eyes at himself and got out of the car, jogging down the pathway to the front door and getting soaked in the process.  

He rang the doorbell without hesitation as he looked up at the camera above the door. Castiel surely knew he was there by now. Dean pulled his phone out and called the other man.  

“Hello, Dean,” he greeted dully. 

Oh, thank God. “Hey, Cas, I know I said I’d never come back, but Anna told me what day it was. You’ve had me scared shitless all week, heh. Answer your damn texts once in a while, asshat.”  

“Why are you here?” 

Dean sighed. “I told you: Anna told me what today was for you. I-I'm really sorry, Cas, but I don’t think you should be alone anymore today.”  

“You should leave, Dean,” Castiel said quietly. Thunder sounded again, and Dean heard Castiel hiss, “Fuck.”  

“Cas? Please, man.” Dean knew he sounded desperate (his Omega felt desperate and wanted its Alpha). He kind of was, though, right? His...friend was hurting—a lot. He held his breath as he waited for Castiel’s reply. 

The other man sighed. “I’ll be right there.”  

Then he waited five minutes out in the rain, wishing that Castiel had a covered porch. Dean banged on the door. “Cas! C’mon, man, I’m melting out here!” Maybe the man had changed his mind. Dean was about to turn around when he heard several locks disengage. The door slowly opened, and he got his first in-person look at Castiel Novak.  

“Hello, Dean.” 

“Hey, Cas.” 

They stared at each other until another boom of thunder sounded. Castiel jumped back, and Dean rushed inside, closing the door behind him.  

“You’re taller than I expected,” Castiel stated, head cocked to the side.  

Oh, fuck me, Dean thought, swallowing hard. He forced out a chuckle. “Thanks, I think.” 

“Let me go get you a towel.” 

Dean nodded. “I’d appreciate that.” He tried really hard not to smile. Castiel was in front of him, wrapped in a blanket. His hair was a mess and curling over his collar. He hadn’t shaved in a few days, and he wore his glasses. The man looked...both adorable and pitiful. Dean looked down at his feet, lamenting the wet spot he was leaving on the floor.  

Castiel passed by him on the stairs, shrugging off his blanket and resting it on the newel post beside him. “I’ll be right back.” Dean nodded again as the man turned and walked up the stairs. 

He sighed in relief once Castiel was out of hearing range. “Thank fuck,” Dean whispered. For better or worse, he was in the house and planned to take care of Castiel as much as he needed that night. His Omega clawed at him, insisting he stay with the man and offer what comfort he could, especially after having scented the anxiety and fear inside and on Castiel. He pulled his phone out and texted Anna.  

Dean: I’m in 

Anna: Is he okay? 

Dean rolled his eyes.  

Dean: What do you think? 

He put the phone away as Castiel came back down the stairs holding a towel and...clothes.  

“I thought you might like to change into something dry as well,” Castiel said, sounding shy.  

Dean gently took the clothing and towel and smiled. “Thanks, Cas. Where, uh...?” 

“The bathroom is just upstairs. You can’t miss it.”  

Dean nodded and walked (squished) up the stairs and across the hall to the bathroom. He set everything on the counter and closed the door behind him. He walked back to the vanity and looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was plastered to his scalp, and his shirt was stuck to his chest (not a bad first in-person impression...at least physically). Dean knew he looked good, so that wasn’t a worry.  

He rubbed the towel over his head first and then pulled off his soaked shirt. He wrung it out in the sink before hanging it over the shower curtain to dry. Dean stepped out of his boots and socks (still dry, thankfully) before shimmying out of his jeans. Once more, he wrung out his jeans (not nearly as wet as his shirt) and hung them over the shower rod, too. 

Dean ran the towel over his body, drying damp areas (and wiping away the remnants of his blockers, hoping that he didn’t smell too rank with worry before dressing in the comfortable sleep pants and a t-shirt. They smelled...awesome. He felt comfortable and safe wrapped in his—the—Alpha’s clothes.   Finally, he hung the towel to dry on the hook near the shower. He took a look at himself in the mirror again and smoothed his hand down his chest. Yeah, this was totally a friendly thing to do—wear his clothes and then wish you could do it all the time. Dean rolled his eyes at himself. (He did take one more whiff of the shirt he wore. Pine and earth and rain and clean and... He snapped himself out of it.) 

Ready to go downstairs, Dean turned and left the bathroom to look for Castiel. He found Gertrude sitting, statuesque, at the top of the stairs, staring at Dean. “Hey, Princess, where’s your dad, huh?” He reached down and scooped the cat up before padding down the stairs and into the living room.  

Dean cleared his throat. “Cas?” he asked in what he hoped was a neutral and relaxed voice. 

“Kitchen.” Dean followed the sound of Castiel’s voice to his right. He let Gertrude jump down as he turned the corner. Castiel stood at the counter making...a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  

“Good, you’re eating. I wasn’t sure if--” 

“This is yours.” 

“Oh. Thanks.” 

Castiel looked up from his task. “You’re welcome.” 

Dean pulled out a stool and sat at the bar. “So, uh, how come you’re not freaking out? Not that I’m not happy about that, but the last time I was here...things didn’t go so hot.” 

“You’ve said it before, Dean, you’ve been in my home more than anyone beyond my siblings. It...feels nice that you’re here.” Dean watched the man’s nostrils flare, likely taking in the man's scent. 

Something warm bloomed in Dean’s chest and spread outward. He swallowed hard. “Yeah. So, uh, movie while we eat?” 

Castiel’s lips twitched. “Just like always?” He slid the plate with the sandwich over to Dean. He picked it up and grinned. 

“Just like always, Sunshine.” He took a big bite and grinned around it. They’d be okay. 

Two movies later, and Castiel was not okay. They’d ordered dinner an hour before; it sat untouched on the coffee table. Dean had gotten them beers, which Castiel actually drank (really fast). He’d fixed popcorn just a few minutes before, trying to entice the man to eat something again. After a few minutes, Dean happened to glance over and saw Castiel twisting his hands together. He stuck another piece of popcorn in his mouth as he thought about what he should do.  

He had researched PTSD and agoraphobia not long after he and Castiel began talking, wanting to know what triggers to avoid, making sure the other man enjoyed himself around Dean rather than feel threatened. 

“Hey, Sunshine? Count to five for me.” 

Castiel had huddled under his blanket and retreated further into it. “Dean, you do not need me to count your food.” 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Fine. What color...are...my eyes?” he finished quickly. He needed to get Castiel out of his head, even for a few moments.  

“Green.” 

“Okay, that’s--” 

“But more like moss than apple when the light hits them just right,” Castiel said quietly. Dean’s gaze jumped from Castiel’s hands to the other man’s eyes. They grew wider the longer Dean looked, and he could tell that the man’s hands stopped twisting, but the grip had tightened. “I shouldn’t have said that.” Castiel’s scent was all over the place. 

Dean didn’t know what to do next. Castiel began to shift, likely about to stand, when he leaned over, shut his eyes, and pressed his lips to Castiel’s. Dean felt Castiel seize up. As he began to pull back, fully aware that he’d fucked up, Dean felt Castiel shift again. He felt the man’s hand come up to rest on his jaw. Dean’s eyes flew open, and he gasped, causing Castiel to pull back just as their lips touched.  

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Castiel whispered, his wide eyes on Dean’s.  

“We shouldn’t do a lot of things,” Dean murmured as he closed his eyes and moved forward. He pressed his lips to Castiel’s again, this time softer and with a hint of a smile. Castiel wanted this, too. This time, the man kissed back and even began to deepen the kiss. Dean let out a small moan as he felt the tip of Castiel’s tongue run along his bottom lip. He, of course, opened for Castiel, and a salty, hoppy flavor from their beer and popcorn exploded on his tongue. 

Their scents turned aroused and interested and filled the house with their pheromones. Dean was more drunk on that than anything else he’d ever experienced. 

Chapter Text

Seeing Dean in person for the first time was almost too much for Castiel. The man looked even better than he did on a computer screen.  

He’d turned to watch Dean climb the stairs to go to the bathroom. The clothes had been spur-of-the-moment, but when Castiel had registered the man was soaked, he felt (his Alpha felt) the need to at least help in some way beyond just a towel.  

Castiel caught the faintest scent of vanilla and citrus and something almost floral as the man walked away. It stayed in his nose even after Dean had long gone. Oh, boy. When Dean came back down the stairs, however... It made Castiel feel a certain kind of way. Seeing the man’s smile in person made him feel the same odd way.  

Kissing Dean, however, sent Castiel’s feelings skyrocketing. He hadn’t let himself hope...or want. The panic that he’d been about to spiral into disappeared almost immediately. He deepened their kiss, and Dean responded so beautifully. One of them moaned, and the other answered.  

“Cas...” Dean murmured. “This...” 

“Mm.” Castiel pressed in closer and swiped his tongue into Dean’s mouth. This is a bad idea! his mind screamed. His body and Alpha, however, overruled his sane mind. With his other hand, Castiel reached for Dean’s shoulder, squeezing the bicep, his fingers finding and kneading the warm flesh under the short sleeve.  

Dean’s hands went to Castiel’s hair and pulled just enough to pull him back to look into the other man’s eyes. The green of Dean’s eyes was dark; the iris was taken over by the pupil and a thin ring of gold. They were glazed with lust, which just made Castiel chase Dean’s lips. Dean pulled back slightly, however, causing Castiel to whimper softly. 

“Cas...” 

“You said that already.” 

Dean huffed a small laugh. “Smartass.” His eyes turned serious. “We really shouldn’t do this, Cas. I--” 

“I don’t care.” Castiel lunged forward and captured Dean’s lips in a frantic kiss. They shifted and groped, and soon, Dean was straddling Castiel’s lap. It was infinitely better than Castiel’s dream.  

Both men wore soft sleep pants, and Castiel could feel Dean’s hard length against his own. He could smell Dean’s slick and could almost feel a dampness on his thighs. Frustrated with the thin barriers, Castiel moved his hands to Dean’s hips and began tugging at the waistband of the pants he wore, wanting his hand on the man’s cock as soon as possible. He could smell Dean now, his slick giving away his arousal. Vanilla and orange blossom with a hint of spice. 

It’d been well over a year since Castiel had a sexual partner. Even before his incident, he wasn’t one to go out and date very much. He (and his Alpha) felt needy, and he wasn’t used to it. Perhaps it was simply starvation for human contact after a year of none at all. Perhaps... 

Dean lifted himself slightly and tugged his pants and underwear down over his ass and under his balls. Castiel’s hand immediately went to wrap around the man’s cock. Dean bucked his hips and moaned. His hands went to Castiel’s pants next and quickly freed the man, too. Dean resituated himself in Castiel’s lap, leaning forward far enough that he could rub their cocks together.  

Castiel wrapped his hand around them both and began stroking them surely and quickly. Dean leaned even closer and rested their foreheads together; his hands fisted in Castiel’s shirt.  

With his free hand, Castiel reached up and grasped Dean’s jaw, angling it to kiss down the man’s neck. Hit bit, he sucked, he licked to soothe, and then did it all over again. Wanting to be even closer to Dean, he used both hands to raise the borrowed t-shirt. Obediently, Dean lifted his arms, and the shirt came off.  

“Your turn,” Dean panted. Castiel wrapped an arm around Dean’s waist and rolled them, putting Dean on his back. He reached up and took his shirt off in one swift movement before lying down on top of Dean.  

“Shit, I should’ve gotten your pants off,” Castiel panted. He suddenly had the desire to lick Dean’s slick from the source and see if it tasted as good as it smelled. 

“Pants off means you’re fuckin’ me, man, and I can’t wait any--”  

Castiel moaned loudly into Dean’s mouth and almost came right then. The thought of being even closer to Dean... He rubbed his hot erection against Dean’s and began rolling his hips. Dean could barely manage it, but he hooked a leg around one of Castiel’s for leverage and began thrusting against the other man.  

His hips began losing their rhythm, and Castiel felt Dean seize beneath him. A liquid warmth spread between their abdomens, easing Castiel’s slide exponentially.  

“Oh, fuck, Dean.” 

“Yes.”  

Castiel buried his face in Dean’s neck where his scent was strongest, and Dean’s fingers weaved their way into his hair, tugging sharply on the strands. He came shortly after, his eyes squeezing shut as he shouted out Dean’s name. Castiel rested his forehead against Dean’s sweaty collarbone and tried to catch his breath. He felt Dean’s heart beating wildly underneath his lips.  

What had they done? 

Dean must’ve felt Castiel tense in his arms or caught a change in his scent, because he loosened them and cleared his throat. “Listen, Cas, I... This wasn’t my intention, I swear. I--” 

Castiel raised his head and kissed the corner of Dean’s mouth. “Mine either.” He rested his weight on his elbows so that he could look down at Dean. “I...don’t regret it.” 

Dean’s lips twitched. The man’s eyes were bright and his cheeks flushed. “Me, either.” 

“Let me get something to clean us up.” Castiel hesitated only a moment before he leaned down and kissed Dean softly. He carefully pushed himself up and off Dean, stepping away from the couch and pulling up his pants. He walked through to the kitchen and went to the drawer that had the hand towels and washcloths in it.  

Castiel grabbed a linen and walked to the sink to wet it. He cleaned himself up first before wetting it again and taking it out to Dean. The man was still reclined on the couch, though he, too, had pulled up his pants. As Castiel walked closer, he noticed that Dean was frowning with his eyes closed. His scent wasn't as enticing as a few minutes prior.  

“Dean?” The man opened his eyes and looked over at Castiel with a soft smile. “Are you alright?” 

Dean dropped his eyes. “Just a little up in my head is all.” 

Castiel walked closer and sat on the edge of the couch so that he could reach Dean’s abdomen to clean him of their mixed come. He began to worry that Dean really did regret what had happened. They were friends after all. Friends didn’t makeout and frot on the couch until they climaxed. (At least that was what Castiel remembered of the differences between friendship and a relationship.) 

He finished wiping off Dean’s stomach and simply sat. “I don’t want you to think I was taking advantage of a situation.” 

“Same here,” Dean said quietly, sitting up to look directly into Castiel’s eyes. “I know you were about to have a panic attack, and it--” 

Castiel leaned in for another kiss, effectively shutting Dean up for the time being. “Thank you.” He watched Dean blush and shrug. 

“I just didn’t want you to suffer’s all,” he muttered. The man cleared his throat. “So, y’know, how are you?” 

Castiel smirked. “Not anxious for the first time all day.”  

Dean grinned and shook his head. He checked his watch. “It’s getting late; I should go.” 

But Castiel didn’t want Dean to go. He found that he wanted the man to stay, to share his bed, to wake up feeling...normal for a change. Gertrude walked up and rubbed herself against Castiel’s legs. He checked the clock over the fireplace. Eleven-ten. He’d been shot around eight—at least according to the reports he heard later and what he remembered of the night as he left work.  

But Castiel didn’t want Dean to go. He made the other man feel normal and whole. Dean was the first person he’d let into his life in a year. He was almost afraid that if Dean left, he’d never see him again (though, why that thought popped into his head, he wasn’t sure).  

“You could stay,” Castieil told Dean softly, shyly meeting the man’s confused gaze. “If you want to, that is. I don’t know what you have to do in the morning, and I--” 

Dean cut Castiel off with a kiss. He pulled back slowly and opened his eyes, meeting Castiel’s. “Yeah, I’d like that.”  

Castiel smiled widely. His day had started off miserably, waking up from a nightmare at three and not being able to go back to sleep. He’d tried all day to keep his mind from wandering. Who knew all he needed was...Dean? 

~~~~~ 

Dean lay on the couch with come tacky on his stomach, and slick was uncomfortable in his ass and on his thighs. What the fuck had just happened? He’d just wanted to keep Castiel from spiraling. What led him to the kiss? It wasn’t instinct...not entirely anyway. He’d just wanted a distraction for the other man. But, oh God, what a kiss. 

He heard water running in the kitchen and began plotting his exit. Castiel was likely exhausted and needed to rest; Dean wouldn’t keep him from that.   

“Dean?” The man opened his eyes and looked over at Castiel with a soft smile. “Are you alright?” 

Dean dropped his eyes. “Just a little up in my head is all.” A lot. 

Castiel walked closer and sat on the edge of the couch so that he could reach Dean’s abdomen to clean him of their mixed come. He finished wiping off Dean’s stomach and simply sat. “I don’t want you to think I was taking advantage of a situation.” 

“Same here,” Dean said quietly, sitting up to look directly into Castiel’s eyes. “I know you were about to have a panic attack, and it--” 

Castiel leaned in for another kiss, effectively shutting Dean up for the time being. “Thank you.” He watched Dean blush and shrug. 

“I just didn’t want you to suffer’s all,” he muttered. The man cleared his throat. “So, y’know, how are you?” 

Castiel smirked. “Not anxious for the first time all day.”  

Dean grinned and shook his head. It wasn’t what he meant, but he was glad Castiel could joke. He checked the clock, and Dean checked his watch. “It’s getting late; I should go.” 

“You could stay,” Castiel told Dean softly, shyly meeting the man’s confused gaze. “If you want to, that is. I don’t know what you have to do in the morning, and I--” 

Dean cut Castiel off with a kiss. He pulled back slowly and opened his eyes, meeting Castiel’s. “Yeah, I’d like that.” Danger, Will Robinson! 

Castiel’s smile grew. Dean had only seen the wide, scrunchy smile once or twice before. Knowing he was the cause warmed the man’s chest.  

“Are you ready? I have a few spare toothbrushes upstairs if--” 

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Dean interrupted with a smile. Castiel stood first and held out a hand to help Dean up. The man frowned again, worried about Castiel. “Are you sure you’re okay with this, Cas? I don’t want to rush--” Another kiss, another sentence cut off.  

“I feel very comfortable with you, Dean. For the first time in a year, I...” Castiel broke off and swallowed hard, briefly averting his eyes. When he looked back into Dean’s, his eyes were wet. “I have...hope. And it’s thanks to you,” Castiel admitted quietly.  

Dean had never given anyone hope before (at least not that he’d been told). It felt heavy, not like a burden but a...a solid weight in his abdomen, a warm weight that told him things with Castiel were more serious than Dean had expected. Rather than trying to speak, he reached for Castiel’s hand and smiled. Castiel returned it and led Dean over to the stairs.  

They climbed them slowly, almost like Castiel was giving Dean plenty of time to back out if he wanted to...he didn’t. Once they reached the top landing, Castiel took Dean to the left and into his bedroom.  

“The bathroom is this way. Let me get you a toothbrush and some fresh clothes.” Dean let Castiel lead him into the room. He still held Dean’s hand even as he rummaged around for the spare toothbrush he promised. (Dean thought it was endearing.) “Aha!” He turned and held up a wrapped toothbrush.  

Dean took it gently. “Thanks, Cas.” 

The man nodded. “Of course.” It felt like Castiel reluctantly let go of Dean’s hand, giving him the toothbrush and stepping away to one of the sinks where his own toiletries were lined up. They brushed their teeth side-by-side, trading not-so-secret glances in the mirror. 

After they finished, they cleaned up (and changed into clean pants and underwear) and went back to the bedroom. Dean paused. Was Castiel really ready for this step? Was Dean?  He didn’t stay. Hooker, escort; all the same—don't stay the night. But, really, had Dean been an escort since he met Castiel? He turned down appointments. He didn’t reach out to clients he hadn’t heard from in a while. He swallowed hard.  

“Dean, if you’re having second thoughts...” 

The man looked at Castiel. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his face looked a bit thinner. No, he needed Dean just then, and that overrode anything else he might have been thinking. Even Dean’s Omega was begging him not to leave yet. 

“Nah, just wondering which side is yours, heh.” Dean was freaking out a bit. He’d never done this. He’d never had serious relationships that required staying over. Is that what this was? A serious relationship? While Dean spiraled, Castiel pulled down the blankets and got in on his side of the bed. When he looked at Dean oddly (the Omega really needed to get his scent under control), the man forced a small smile and climbed in next to Castiel.  

The other man then leaned over and turned off the bedside light on his side; Dean followed suit. In the darkness, Dean began to wonder what this meant. Did he ask Castiel if he wanted a relationship? Did he ask Castiel anything? He felt Castiel shift and suddenly felt himself being pulled toward the man.  

“Do you mind?” Castiel whispered, keeping a firm arm around Dean’s waist.  

“No,” Dean replied quietly, rolling over to face Castiel. The man’s scent wasn’t as heady, and it carried a touch of burnt pine with it. He gently reached out and touched the scar on the man’s shoulder. He’d seen it from the bullet wound earlier, but didn’t want to say anything. Hell, he didn’t want to say anything now. He did, however, want to acknowledge it.  

“I’ve never been so scared in my life," Castiel admitted quietly.

“I can’t imagine.” 

“They never found the man who...shot me. It’s...part of the agoraphobia.” 

“Cas, you don’t have to tell me.” Dean didn’t want to upset Castiel after having a mind-blowing orgasm and talking about hope. 

“I’d like for you to know.”  

I want to know everything, Dean thought. The men quieted, and their breathing slowed. Dean tried to keep his eyes open as long as he could, but he soon fell asleep, comfortable and safe in Castiel’s arms.  

Dean didn’t know what time it was, only that it was dark, when he woke up suddenly. He lay with his eyes wide open, not sure what woke him up. Then he felt it: Castiel twitched and then made a sound. Dean reached over and turned his light on. The man was frowning, and he had a sheen of sweat across his chest and on his face. Nightmare. 

“Cas, Cas, wake up, Sunshine,” Dean tried quietly, leaning over Castiel and shaking his arm. Louder, “Cas. Cas!” The other man was shaking and scaring Dean; his scent was all over the place. He shook Castiel’s arm, hard, nearly pinching him just to get him to open his eyes. Finally, they shot open and darted around the room. Castiel sat up suddenly and grabbed his arm, as if in pain.  

“Ah!” he exclaimed.  

“Cas, look at me. Baby, please.” Dean was desperate to look into Castiel’s eyes, making some kind of grounding contact. He reached up and turned the other man’s face toward him. “Hey, hey, look at me. Cas, please,” Dean begged.  

Finally, Castiel’s wild eyes met Dean’s. “Dean,” he croaked, tears streaming down his face.  

Dean raised his other hand and held Castiel’s face in it. He smiled wanly. “There you are. Can you take some deep breaths for me?” He removed one hand and took Castiel’s, raising it to his chest so that the man could feel Dean breathing calmly (sort of). “Like this...” He inhaled deeply, but Castiel began to hyperventilate. “Okay, forget that.” Dean did the only other thing he knew to do. He wrapped his arms around Castiel’s shoulders and held on tightly. He heard the Alpha begin to count quietly. 

Slowly, Castiel’s breaths evened, and Dean let out a small sigh of relief. He was scared out of his mind, but he wouldn’t let the other man know that. He worked hard to keep his scent controlled and calm. Castiel turned his head and buried his face in Dean’s neck just before the sobs began tearing through his body.  

Dean held Castiel for a long while, feeling the tears drip down his shoulder and chest. Until finally, the other man’s breaths slowed (but continued to hitch every now and then).  

“Can I get you some water?” Dean whispered. 

Castiel sighed and sniffled. “Yes, please,” he said, his voice raw.  

Dean pulled back slowly and looked at Castiel’s pale face. His eyes were glassy, and he had tear tracks down his cheeks. The other man’s heart melted down to his toes. Fuck, I love Cas, Dean realized. He forced a small smile and wiped away a tear with his thumb.  

“You gonna be good for a minute?” Castiel pulled back, dropped his head in his hands, and nodded. Dean took a chance and leaned forward to press a small kiss to Castiel’s temple. “Be right back.” He got out of bed quickly and went to the bathroom, turning on the harsh light. He rushed to Castiel’s sink and grabbed the glass sitting there, filling it with cold water.  

When Dean returned to the bedroom, Castiel was sitting with his legs drawn up to his chest and his head resting on his knees. He must have sensed Dean’s presence because he apologized. “I shouldn’t have asked you to stay; I’m sorry. I didn’t think... The nightmares...” 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Dean soothed as he sat down on Castiel’s side of the bed. “Nothin’ to be ashamed of, man. Hell, I have ‘em, too, sometimes.” (It wasn’t a lie, either. He’d experienced nightmares in some form or fashion since he was a kid, when his mom died. They came and went, different subject matters, different responses. No one handled them well.) Dean reached for Castiel’s hand slowly and placed the glass in it. Castiel stared at it for several moments before drinking deeply.  

“Thank you.” The man hung his head after setting the glass down on the nightstand. “I understand if you’d like to--” 

“Cas, I’m stayin’.” Dean angled his head to meet Castiel’s eyes. “I believe I was invited for the whole night,” he said with a smile. He wanted to make Castiel smile, too, but wasn’t sure how. They were quiet for several minutes before Dean asked, “Do you think you can get back to sleep?” 

Castiel snorted. “No, I’m afraid I’m awake now, for better or worse.” He slowly met Dean’s eyes. “If you’d like to continue to sleep, however...” 

“Nah.” Dean brushed another tear away with his thumb. “I’m with you, Sunshine.” He felt his heart give a hard kick against his ribs. He was going to get his heart broken; he just knew it.

Chapter Text

Castiel’s eyes stayed on Dean’s. Until Dean’s thumb brushed across his lower lip, and then his eyes wandered down to Dean’s. They were soft and plump, and felt wonderful against his.  

Dean started to lean forward, but then stopped. He pulled back, cleared his throat, and asked, “So, what do you do when you’re awake at...three in the morning?” 

Had Dean been about to kiss him again? That would clear the rest of the nightmare away; he was sure. Would Dean welcome a kiss, though? After having seen how damaged Castiel was—for the second time, no less—the man had to be rethinking their relationship. That word brought the man up short. No...friendship. Although was it still classified as a friendship when you’ve felt the other person’s cock in your hand? 

“Cas? You good?” 

“Yes. Um, I sometimes will run on the treadmill or work. I clean when they’re bad.” 

“What’s this one feelin’ like?” 

Castiel had to think, had to look into Dean’s eyes again. “A movie?” 

The other man grinned widely. “Yeah, we can do that.” 

Castiel couldn’t help himself and leaned forward to kiss Dean. He was about to pull back when Dean moaned softly. He sighed before pressing harder, leaning into Dean, pushing him backward onto the bed. As if knowing Castiel’s thoughts, Dean shifted and spread his legs, allowing the other man to settle between them.  

Dean was the first to roll his hips, brushing their half-hard cocks against each other. Both men moaned into their deepening kiss.  Dean could smell their arousal filling the room.  

This was what had been missing from Castiel’s life for the last year (possibly longer)--companionship, friendship, love... Dean rolled his hips again and moved to kiss along Castiel’s neck; he couldn’t focus on anything anymore.  

“Dean, I... Can I...” 

As if reading his cluttered mind, Dean moaned and nodded, scraping his teeth along the strong tendon in Castiel’s neck. For some reason, however, Dean then pulled away and looked into Castiel’s eyes.  

“I’d...really like that, Cas, but maybe now isn’t--” 

Castiel cut him off with a deep kiss. “Now...please,” he begged softly, running a hand down Dean’s side to toy with the waistband of his pants. He placed a few kisses across Dean’s jaw, and the man turned his head to give Castiel more room to explore. After a few more kisses (and bites) and grinding against each other, he felt Dean swallow and then nod.  

“Yes,” he whispered, opening his eyes to find Castiel’s. He nodded before thrusting his hands into Castiel’s hair and pulling him down for a probing kiss. “Mm, pants,” Dean murmured against Castiel’s lips.  

Castiel moaned and nodded before pulling back and staring down at Dean. The man’s cheeks were flushed, as was his chest. His eyes were glassy with lust. He smirked. Castiel retaliated by nipping Dean’s lower lip and earning a gasp before he began to kiss down Dean’s naked torso. At the waistband of the man’s pants, Castiel worked to suck a bruise onto Dean’s hip. He nuzzled Dean’s cock and inhaled the amazing scent of the man. He crawled off the bed with the goal of getting them both naked as quickly as possible.   

Dean cursed. “Fuck, where are you goin’?” 

“Just to do this,” Castiel replied, pulling down Dean’s pants and underwear in one fell swoop. He threw them behind him and began kissing up Dean’s body as he tried to shed his own. At the man’s cock, he took Dean in his mouth and swallowed him down, causing Dean to cry out. After one good suck, Castiel moved on, kissing back up Dean’s torso. He took a stiffened nipple into his mouth and flicked it with his tongue before grazing it with his teeth. Dean arched his back, pressing the men together from chest to groin.  

All of a sudden, he sat back on his heels. “Shit. I don’t have anything,” he panted. 

“Check my jeans pockets. I usually carry at least one condom with me at all times. There should be one.” Castiel looked at Dean in wonder, and Dean blushed (in embarrassment?). He bit his lip before Castiel leaned down and sucked it between his own.  

“You’re resourceful.” Castiel climbed back off the bed and headed, naked, for the hall bathroom where he’d seen Dean’s clothes carefully hung over the shower rod. He felt along the pockets of Dean’s pants before finding his prize. He hurried back to the bedroom to see Dean writhing on the bed, stroking his cock, with two fingers in his ass. Well, all of that was Castiel’s job. 

He went ahead and opened the condom, sliding it onto his throbbing cock. Before climbing onto the bed, Castiel batted Dean’s hand away from his cock. “That’s my job.”  

He slowly got onto the bed and kissed Dean almost chastely as he inserted two fingers into Dean’s wet hole. He crooked his fingers and found Dean’s prostate quickly. The Omega cried out but ground down on the Alpha’s fingers. 

Castiel wanted, desperately, to taste Dean, to take him apart with just his tongue, but he couldn’t wait. He removed his fingers and then poised himself above Dean. 

At the man’s stunned nod, Castiel pushed in past the first ring of muscle. Dean moaned into a hard, passionate kiss as the man finally seated himself.  He clenched around Castiel’s cock, and it urged the other man to move.  

Castiel pressed his forehead to Dean’s, trying to remember how to breathe. “Fuck, Dean.” 

The man groaned. “Yes, please.” 

Slowly but surely, Castiel began to increase his thrusts and make them deeper, longer so that they dragged against Dean’s prostate with every pass. Dean cried out as he clenched around Castiel again. The way their hips began to stutter, they were both getting close to coming. Dean took himself in hand and began to stroke his shaft in time with Castiel’s thrusts. He came in under a minute. Castiel was quickly behind him, knotting them together.  

The men lay panting into each other’s mouths. Dean’s heart was once again thundering against Castiel’s own. Much like downstairs earlier, Dean began carding his fingers through Castiel’s hair, lightly scratching his scalp. Dean rolled them slightly but kept his arms around Castiel. He kissed the man’s jaw, and that was the last Castiel remembered before falling asleep.  

The sun was bright in Castiel’s eyes when he woke up. Startled, he sat up quickly, the sheet falling to his waist. Dean. He frantically looked around the room, seeing that his sleep pants were gone from the floor. He wondered—briefly, hopefully—if Dean was still there. Castiel jumped out of bed and grabbed his own pants from the night before, foregoing his underwear in his haste.  

The man nearly slid down the last few steps but caught himself before he ran into the newel post. Castiel sighed and told himself and his Alpha to calm down. He only felt his anxiety abate when he saw Dean poke his head around the corner. 

“The hell did you do?” 

Awed, all Castiel could do was say, “You stayed.” 

Dean’s eyes widened marginally, and he looked down at the floor. “Uh, yeah. I can...y’know, leave if--” 

“No. Please.” Castiel cleared his throat and took a step forward. “Stay,” he told Dean quietly.  

Dean raised his eyes to meet Castiel’s before nodding. “Okay.” He licked his lips before gesturing over his shoulder with his thumb. “I, uh, made coffee.” 

Castiel smiled. “Thank you, Dean.” The other man blushed and nodded. He walked back to the kitchen, and Castiel followed.  

The scent of coffee was strong, making Castiel wonder how long the man had been awake. (It didn’t, however, take away from the fresh, orange-and-vanilla scent of the other man.) Dean walked around the counter to the coffee maker and poured two mugs. “How do you take yours?” he asked, looking over his shoulder.  

Castiel’s mouth went dry. His tentative hope grew exponentially to real hope, and he stepped forward to wrap his arms around Dean’s middle. It’d be so easy...just lean in and whisper the words to the man he loved.  

Instead, Castiel kissed Dean’s shoulder and replied, “Black is fine for today.” Dean nodded and lifted the mug, handing it back to Castiel, who promptly set it back down on the counter.  

“What--” 

Castiel leaned in and kissed Dean. “Thank you.” 

The other man looked a bit stunned. “For what?”  

“Everything.” Dean had stayed through a nightmare and a panic attack. He’d gotten Castiel to sleep after said nightmare (after phenomenal sex at that). He made coffee. Castiel had a lot to be thankful for.  

Dean turned and kissed him properly, arms coming around Castiel’s shoulders. It deepened quickly but stayed languid.  

~~~~~ 

Castiel took a step forward and pushed Dean back against the counter. Dean could feel the man slowly hardening against his hip; he was in the same predicament. God, Castiel felt amazing against him. They’d just...fit the night before (early that morning). It’d taken Dean by surprise.  

The man had plenty of sex over the years, don’t get him wrong, but Dean was pretty sure it’d never been as intense as with Castiel. His Omega was still purring hours later. 

The man in question leaned down and grasped Dean’s thighs, lifting him up and onto the counter (narrowly missing the full mug of coffee near his hip). Castiel stepped closer as Dean scooted to the edge and wrapped his legs around the other man’s waist. He adjusted his arms so that they tightened around Castiel’s neck and moaned against his mouth.  

Castiel hummed against Dean’s lips. “Bedroom?”  

“Fuck, yes.” Dean got the shock of his life, though, when Castiel pulled him off the counter and began to carry him towards the stairs. “Shit, Cas!” Alpha strength...whoo! 

“You’re on your own at the stairs, don’t worry,” the other man chuckled. Castiel began kissing down Dean’s neck, biting on the corded muscle. So preoccupied with Dean’s neck, the man almost tripped on the stairs and nearly dropped Dean.  

To save his ass from the hardwood (heh), Dean dropped his legs to stand on the step above Castiel. The kiss slowed down to mere pecks. The man took Castiel’s hand and led him up the stairs. Their stare was intense, heated, and so fucking hot.  

When they reached the landing, Castiel rushed Dean, pinning him against the wall with his hard body. Dean lost his breath momentarily as the other man continued kissing him like his life depended on it. Castiel grabbed Dean’s ass, pulling him closer and grinding against him. Dean moaned.  

“Shit, wait,” Dean panted, suddenly remembering an important detail.  

Castiel’s head came up quickly, his eyes searching Dean’s. “Do you not want--” 

“We don’t have any more condoms, Cas.” 

“Fuck,” the other man said emphatically. Dean laughed loudly at Castiel’s pout and kissed it ‘better’. Castiel met Dean’s eyes and seemed to search for something in them. “Dean, would you... That is, I know it’s something to discuss long-term and--” 

“What are you tryin’ to say, Cas?” Dean asked, genuinely confused. Discuss long-term? What did that even mean? 

The man’s cheeks reddened, and he averted his eyes. “Never mind, it was--” 

“What, Cas?” Dean whispered. 

“The, um, condom situation. That is, the fact that--” 

Dean’s jaw dropped. “You want to...without?” He’d never consciously had sex without a condom in his life. Even back in the day, he’d made guys wear a condom even if he was just goin’ down on them (he wanted to be smart about his new job).  

Castiel nodded. “I understand that is something that--” 

Dean swallowed hard. What did this mean for them? That there was no going back. Dean was, for all intents and purposes, head over heels, crazy, stupidly in love with the man in front of him. “I have my latest test results on my phone if--” He was cut off by a hard kiss that stole his breath.  

Still kissing (and smiling into it), Castiel carefully walked Dean backwards up the stairs and into the bedroom. The men made quick work of shedding pants and getting on the bed. Dean rolled them quickly, however, and, while still kissing Castiel, he began grinding his ass on the Alpha’s cock.  

Castiel wrapped his hand around Dean’s length and began stroking it agonizingly slowly. Oh, fuck that. Dean was in charge this time.  

Dean shuffled back until he was poised above Castiel’s thick thighs (running on the treadmill did him a lot of good). Looking intently into Castiel’s eyes, Dean wanted to feel every inch of Castiel inside him. He felt so good in Dean’s hand (and ass) and wanted more. He leaned down and licked a stripe up the underside of Castiel's cock before pulling back. 

“Dean, you--” 

“I’m good, Cas,” the man told Castiel as he knee-walked up Castiel’s body to hover above his waist. Dean reached behind himself and held Castiel’s cock steady as he sank slowly down onto it. As he lowered himself further, the slight burn turned pleasurable. He felt every ridge of Castiel’s cock against his tight, inner walls, and his breath caught.  

“Dean...” 

He opened his eyes and looked down into Castiel’s as he fully seated himself. Oh, fuck, Dean was a goner. He had to move, had to feel something other than his heart exploding, growing, making more room for Castiel than he had hoped to ever have. He circled his hips a couple of times before finding the right angle, and when he did, he cried out.  

Castiel gripped his hips tightly and planted his feet. He shallowly thrust up into Dean. The other man lifted himself slowly and lowered himself quicker, speeding up his movements each time. Castiel caught onto the rhythm soon enough, thrusting up as Dean slid down.  

“Cas...” Dean was so close to coming, but he didn’t want it to end. He felt Castiel shift and sit up, wrapping one arm around Dean’s waist for stability. He used his free hand to pull Dean into a hard, frantic kiss.  Dean’s hands found their favorite spot in Castiel’s hair, tugging and moving the man where he wanted.  

Their movements began to slow and stutter, and then Dean felt Castiel’s knot expand inside him, felt the heat inside him—Castiel coming inside him, filling him. That had Dean careening off the edge as well. Their kissing slowed, and they rested, forehead to forehead. Dean squeezed his eyes tightly, colors exploding behind his lids. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Two firsts in twenty-four hours might make him explode.  

“Dean, are you alright?”  

The man could only nod. If he opened his mouth, the truth would come out. He cleared his throat and swallowed hard. “Yeah,” he rasped. He pulled back and looked Castiel in the eyes. Oh, fuck. “I love you.” 

Castiel’s eyes narrowed, and he tilted his head in that cute, endearing way he had. The longer the silence lingered, the more anxious Dean became. He wished he could move off Castiel. He was embarrassed and-- 

The feel of Castiel’s lips on his was different; softer, somehow. Dean didn’t know what it meant. After a few moments of steady pressure, Castiel backed away only far enough to gaze into Dean’s apprehensive eyes.  

“I love you, too.” 

Dean’s jaw dropped. No one had ever said that to him before...at least not since his mother. Why did it freak him out so much? His stomach dropped, and he shook his head. “Cas, I’m... I’m me, okay? I--” 

“You’re brilliant and handsome and kind and...” Castiel paused to reach up and cradle Dean’s cheek. “And I love you.” 

Tears began to gather in Dean’s eyes. He had to tell Castiel everything, the good, the bad, and especially the ugly about his life. Yes, Castiel knew the basics, but that was all. “Sunshine, there’s...there’s things about my life that I’m really not proud of, and if you really--” 

Castiel shut Dean up quickly with a hard kiss. “I love all of you, Dean Winchester.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Please, believe me.” 

Dean took a shaky breath. “No one’s ever...not since before my mom died.”  

Castiel didn’t seem to understand at first, but then his eyes cleared. “Then I’m more than happy to be your first.” 

“And I’ve never...y’know...been in love or whatever, so I’m gonna screw stuff up, Cas.” 

“Another first.” He pecked a quick kiss on Dean’s pouting mouth.  

Was none of this bothering the man? Dean was a fucking escort! Okay, so he hadn’t had any clients in...over a month. It was still his job! And yeah, he had a day job that didn’t involve sex; so, what? It was always going to be a very important aspect of Dean’s life, past, present, or future. But would it really? 

Shaky from exertion and the conversation, Dean slowly began to shift and wished they weren’t tied together. 

“Dean, may I ask why you’re upset?”  

Dean sighed and stared up at the ceiling. “Doesn’t it bother you?” 

“What?” 

“Don’t be dumb. I take money for sex, Cas. I’m a hooker with better branding.” Dean looked at Castiel, and the man was looking back.  

“Why did you start?” he asked quietly. Dean owed it to the man to answer. He’d never talked about his other job to Castiel, had wanted to...shield him from it, he supposed. He also never talked about his past other than what pertained to Sam’s accomplishments as he grew up. So, yeah, Castiel deserved some answers.  

“Can we, uh, clean up first?” 

“Of course.”  

They were quiet for the next several minutes as they waited for Castiel’s knot to go down. With every small shift, however, a lightning bolt shot down his spine, and Dean wanted to be tied to the man forever. Eventually, however, Castiel’s knot went down, and Dean slowly lifted himself and moved across the bed to get out (leaving a confused Alpha in his wake). He felt the come mix with slick running down his thighs and decided he needed a shower. 

“Fuck,” Dean whispered, looking into the bathroom mirror. Had that really just happened? Castiel...loved him? Well, at least the man thought that he did. That made Dean’s chest hurt to think about, so he pushed it out of his mind and cleaned up quickly in the shower.  

Stepping out a few minutes later, Dean saw that Castiel had set out a towel for him. He reached for it and dried off before putting on his clothing from the day before. He walked over to the vanity to brush his teeth and took his time. He didn’t know if Castiel would be waiting for him in the bedroom or not. When a knock sounded, Dean had his answer. 

“May I come in?” 

Dean spit and rinsed his mouth out before calling out, “Yeah.” 

Castiel entered, and their eyes met in the mirror. “I’d like a shower as well. If I remember correctly, there’s also still coffee--” 

“Probably cold.” 

“--downstairs, that I would like to drink.” Castiel stepped into the still-steamy room and smiled, the corner of his mouth ticking up just a little before he raised a thick, black eyebrow. “I love you.” Dean swallowed hard as Castiel turned the shower on and stepped inside. He fled quickly, nearly forgetting that he shouldn’t slam the door.  

Dean’s eyes landed on the rumpled bed. He could too easily see himself waking up there every morning, being loved every night. His eyes cut away, and he left the room. 

Downstairs, it smelled like burned coffee. Dean rolled his eyes and went to make another pot. He checked the time and saw that it was nearly noon; no wonder he was getting hungry. He dumped out the old coffee and made new. While it was brewing, Dean went to the fridge to see about making some food. Eggs, shredded cheese, even bacon (score!)...omelets it was. 

Chapter Text

Castiel couldn’t stop smiling in the shower. Dean loved him. His best friend turned lover turned...love of his life. He frowned, however, when he thought about Dean’s reaction. The man hadn’t seemed enthusiastic, even going so far as to use his (second) occupation as a reason it was a bad idea. 

While he washed, Castiel lined up questions he wanted to ask, since Dean obviously expected them. Some of them were simple, while others were complex; he didn’t know where to start.  

After a few more minutes, Castiel turned off the water and got out of the shower. He went to his closet as he wrapped his towel around his waist. Grabbing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, he went to the dresser in the bedroom for underwear. Once dressed, he quickly left the room and headed downstairs. 

As Castiel neared the kitchen, he could hear Dean humming some song that he didn’t recognize. He cleared his throat as he walked in, hoping not to startle the other man too much. Rather than jumping, however, Dean froze before also clearing his throat as well. His scent was slightly off, and it was concerning. 

“Coffee?” 

“Yes, please. Black is still fine.” Castiel pulled out a stool and sat at the bar, watching Dean move around the space. The man had already found mugs and started breakfast, it would seem, and it made Castiel happy to know Dean felt at home enough to poke around.  

“What’re you smilin’ about?” Dean muttered, turning around with Castiel’s coffee. He set it on the counter in front of the other man.  

“I’m glad you found food,” Castiel lied. “Thank you for fixing something. I didn’t realize how hungry I am.” 

Dean nodded. “Yeah.” He turned back to the stove and moved from frying bacon to cracking eggs.  

Castiel took a steadying breath and decided to go for it. “Why an escort?” he asked quietly, truly curious and willing to play Dean’s game. The other man, however, flinched, and his scent turned almost sour, making Castiel feel awful. He was about to apologize for his bluntness when Dean replied. 

“I’m good at it.” 

“Sex?” Castiel asked gently.  

Dean shifted, and his shoulder muscles bunched under his t-shirt. “Yeah.”  

“Do you enjoy the work?" 

Dean shrugged. “Sometimes.” 

“Would you ever...consider...quitting?” Castiel asked hesitantly.  

Dean raised his head from where he was staring intently at the skillet before him. He turned to look at Castiel and nodded slowly. “Yeah.” 

“Why haven’t you quit before now?” 

“Like I said: I’m good at it,” Dean replied, turning away again to look in the cabinets for plates. He cleared his throat. “I’m good at bein’ the arm candy, I’m good at sex, heh, and I’m good at just plain listenin’.” The man sighed. “It’s... It’s not all sex.” 

“Anna has said as much over the years.” Dean rolled his eyes. “Is Anna not supposed to discuss her job with her brothers?” Castiel asked, teasingly. (Though, yes, when the young woman had announced what she wanted to do, the big brothers had hotly contested her decision.) 

Dean walked back to the stove and plated the omelets. He placed one in front of Castiel and set the other next to it. He grabbed his own coffee mug and went to sit beside the other man. Dean’s shoulders were still very tense, as was his jaw. Castiel wondered how the man would actually eat.  

“You can ask, y’know? The...why of it. If you want to know.” 

Castiel thought about it for a moment. Did it matter how Dean came to where he was in life? “Not particularly,” he finally said before forking up a bite of fluffy eggs, bacon, and cheese into his mouth.  

Dean gaped. “You seriously don’t give a shit? Most people would be--” 

“Dean,” Castiel interrupted, “am I ‘most people’? I’m agoraphobic. I have PTSD along with severe anxiety and depression. I didn’t have a friend in the world until you. You know why I am--” 

“Exactly. I know why. You deserve to know, too.” 

Castiel sighed. “If it means that much to you...” 

Dean sighed, too, before setting his fork down on the plate and taking a drink of his coffee. His scent mellowed, and Castiel knew it was for his own protection rather than Dean's. “My dad was a bastard who forgot he had kids after our mom died. He’d go off on benders for days at a time. As I got older, though, they got longer.” He took another sip of his coffee. “Hustling pool only gets you so far ahead for the rest of the month, heh.” 

Castiel wanted to reach out and touch Dean, offer comfort as the man talked about his past. When Dean began to pause more between his ‘admissions’, Castiel did reach out and place his hand on the other man’s thigh.  

“Dean, truly--” 

“I met Donna when she was already an escort,” Dean rushed to say. He swallowed hard and looked down at his omelet. “We were arrested at the same party; she had a date and I, uh... I was some of the entertainment,” he finally got out.  

Castiel shook his head. “I don’t understand.” He may not have completely understood the significance, but he knew it had an impact on Dean as the man’s scent turned turbulent. 

The other man looked over at Castiel—finally—with tired eyes. “I was brought in drugged and naked as a party favor.” Castiel gasped, and Dean averted his eyes again. “When the place was raided, I was arrested and charged, too. I had drugs in my system, though, and was just a pathetic hooker, so why bother checking to see if I was okay with anything, right?” He took another deep drink of coffee. “I nearly OD’d in Holding. Donna got Jody’s attention, and because she knew who I was, I got special treatment.”  

“Special treatment?” Castiel asked, small and quiet, horrified under everything. He knew his own scent betrayed his sadness, anger, and helplessness. His Alpha wanted to comfort his Omega, but he didn’t know how. 

“They didn’t let me die, Sunshine.” Dean finished the rest of his coffee and stood up again. “I’m gonna go powder my nose.” He started to stand and go...somewhere, but Castiel stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.  

“Dean, please look at me,” he begged. 

“Cas, you don’t want me like that; you can’t, okay? I--” Castiel cut the other man off with a hard kiss. He squeezed Dean’s shoulder and reached up with his other hand to cradle Dean’s cheek.  

“I do not care about your past, Dean. I care about now.” He shifted, and both hands held Dean’s face. “I love you now.”  

“I haven’t had a date since Bela,” Dean said quietly. When Castiel frowned, confused, the man finally cracked a small smile. “The night I called you.” 

It was Castiel’s turn to stare with his mouth hanging open. “That was over a month ago.”  

Dean shrugged and blushed. “Guess it’s a good thing I have a day job, heh.” 

“Why?” 

“Just wasn’t interested. I was havin’ more fun with you.” 

“What would happen if I were to say that I wished to date you—exclusively?” What dating would look like, Castiel wasn’t sure. He was too afraid to leave the house. Why would Dean want to be with him if he couldn’t do the traditional date things? 

“I’d say gimme two days; one to officially quit and one to officially call my clients,” Dean told Castiel eagerly. The Alpha gaped. “Did you really think I wouldn’t pick you?”  

“I was too afraid to hope.” 

Dean leaned forward and rested his forehead on Castiel’s. “I love you, Cas.” 

“I love you, too.” 

~~~~~ 

Dean felt his chest loosen, and he could finally breathe deeply again. He shifted and pressed his lips to Castiel’s. He hadn’t been lying: he’d spend the next however many days it took to quit his job at Wayward. Yeah, he’d miss Mildred and some of his other more entertaining clients, but fuck it. Dean wanted Castiel more.  

Somewhere nearby, a phone began to ring. The men pulled apart reluctantly. Dean patted his pockets, but he didn’t know where his phone had ended up over the course of the night. 

“It’s mine,” Castiel finally said, frowning.  

“Yeah, and now we have to find it.”  

“I think it’s coming from the living room...” The man stood and walked to the other room, trailing his hand across Dean’s shoulders as he passed by. It spread warmth throughout Dean’s body.  

He couldn’t believe that Castiel loved him. And despite his history! Dean allowed himself to smile. It was almost too good to be true. Before he could stew on that thought for too long, he heard Castiel walking back to him, talking on the phone.  

The man’s eyes met Dean’s. “Yes, I promise.” He put the phone to his shoulder for a moment to whisper to Dean. “Anna’s worried that I haven’t talked to her in days.”  

“No shit, Sherlock,” Dean muttered as he gathered plates while Castiel went back to his phone call.  

“I sound better?” he asked, looking over at Dean, smiling. “Yes, yes, I suppose I do.” Castiel sighed heavily. “Yes, I’ve been ignoring Gabriel as well.”  

Dean jumped lightly as he felt Castiel wrap an arm around his waist from behind. He pressed his cheek to Dean’s, allowing the man to hear the other half of the conversation. 

“Well, at least there’s that,” Anna said, sounding petulant to Dean’s ear. “I’m sorry to be a bother, Cassie, but we’ve been worried sick. Yesterday was--” 

“Difficult, yes.” Castiel pulled back and placed a kiss on Dean’s cheek. “Should I tell her you were with me?” he whispered. Dean closed his eyes and shrugged. That was totally up to the other man; he’d go along with it. (Personally, he kind of wanted to keep it to themselves a little longer.) “I came out the other side, however, and...I think that’s good progress.” 

“Of course, it is! I don’t mean to make it sound like it’s not, Cassie, I promise! I’ve just been really worried, okay? I’m sorry.” 

“Please don’t be sorry, Anna,” Castiel said, stepping away from Dean and leaning on the opposite counter.  

After rinsing the dishes, Dean decided to make himself scarce for the time being; he didn’t need to hear more of Anna being worried. He went to the living room to search for his own phone. After a few minutes, he realized it was sitting on the side table. He rolled his eyes and checked his messages. 

Sam: When are we doing dinner? Jess really wants to meet you 

Dean: Whenever 

Dean put his phone in his back pocket and went in search of his boots from the night before. They were likely still upstairs in the bathroom. He started to climb the stairs.  

“You’re leaving?” Castiel asked, sounding disappointed.  

Was he? Dean shook his head as he turned around. “Not if you don’t want me to.” He didn’t want to go anyway. Castiel grinned and held out his hand. The smell of happy Alpha wafted between them. Dean walked down the few steps to the main floor before taking it and lacing their fingers together.  

“Was Anna satisfied?” 

“Mostly.” Castiel pulled Dean closer. Their chests touched and then their lips, reminding Dean a little of their first kiss: tentative at first and then deepening. Castiel didn’t disappoint. He flicked his tongue out onto Dean’s lower lip before nipping it. Dean opened and allowed Castiel in.  

“Wanna stay on the couch all day and make out?” Dean offered.  

Castiel’s lips curved against Dean’s. “Absolutely.” 

Dean would’ve stayed the night again, but he really needed to go to Wayward Services first thing the next morning and talk to Jody and Donna. It was difficult leaving Castiel after such an emotionally charged day, but they eventually parted. Dean drove home in a daze.  

By the time he arrived at his apartment, Sam had sent three more messages. 

Sammy: So tomorrow is good? 

Sammy: Will Castiel be there? 

Sammy: You should invite Castiel. 

Dean rolled his eyes. In the elevator, he leaned back against the wall and sighed. He was pleasantly sore in a myriad of places (all of them awesome), and he felt lighter than he had in...forever.  

He walked into his apartment and pulled his phone out.  

Dean: Calm your tits...I’ll ask Cas about both. 

Sammy: Great! 

Dean rolled his eyes. Giant puppy, he thought, heading for the kitchen. He and Castiel had napped through lunch, and with their sexcapades that day, Dean was starving. He looked in the fridge and found some stuff for sandwiches. He made it through getting the bread before he called Castiel.  

“Hello, Dean,” the man answered, a smile evident in his voice.  

“Hey, Cas.” For a long minute, neither man spoke. Finally, Dean cleared his throat and asked his question. “How do you feel about meeting Sam and his girlfriend tomorrow night?” 

“Oh. I...” Castiel sounded disappointed all of a sudden. “Dean, I won’t be able... That is, I’m not--” 

“Hey, hey, hey. Zoom, Sunshine. I’d never put you in that position again, okay?” 

Castiel paused before replying, “Okay.” 

“So tomorrow about six?” 

“Will you come here?” 

Dean smiled tenderly. “Yeah, I’ll be there.” 

“Good.” 

The men stayed on the phone until it got dark, talking more in depth about themselves now that Dean had opened the door for more frank discussion. Castiel knew about Dean’s mom and her tragic death. He knew about Dean’s childhood all the way up to where he was now. Dean had never shared so much of himself before.  

“I should let you go to bed,” Castiel announced.  

“Oh, yeah, heh. It is gettin’ kinda late.” (It was nearing eleven p.m. when their conversation stalled.) Dean really wished he were going to sleep next to Castiel again instead of going to bed alone. After a long goodbye, the men finally ended the call, each planning to go to bed soon after.  

After a fitful night of sleep, Dean woke up with new determination. He’d dreamed intermittently throughout the night, each time about Castiel. They were being domestic, they were fighting, they were making up, they were building a life together. There may have been a brief dream of Dean...pregnant. 

The man got out of bed and went to take a shower first rather than make his customary coffee. As he stripped, he let his mind wander.  

Dean had no qualms about quitting Wayward Services. Yeah, he’d been there for several years and had made friends with both coworkers and clients, but...it didn’t feel like enough anymore, knowing how Castiel felt about him. He’d choose the other man over and over. He practiced what he would say to Jody and Donna, but all it really came down to was the fact that he was in love with this random guy he met, and he didn’t want to ruin that by continuing to ‘see’ other people. 

While driving to Wayward services, Dean couldn’t stop smiling. He was in love and loved in return (as scary as it sounded, it also made Dean’s insides all warm and fuzzy). He parked and, with a spring in his footsteps, made his way to their offices on the fourth floor.  

The elevator opened, and Anna stood on the other side. “Hey, you!” she greeted and gave him a hug. “I need to talk to you about something when you have a chance.” 

Dean frowned. “Oh?” 

“It’s about Castiel.” 

The man immediately went on red alert. “Is he okay?” He started to reach for his phone to check his messages when Anna stopped him with an odd look on her face. 

“Did you and Cassie have another movie night last night?” 

“Uh, yeah?” He wasn’t going to tell Anna about the shift in their relationship until Castiel did (or was ready to). Dean was surprised by another tight hug. 

“I know things got off to a rocky start, but I’m really glad Castiel has you as a friend, Dean.” The woman sniffled and backed away, walking over to the elevator once again.  

Slowly relaxing, Dean allowed himself a small smile. Yeah, ‘rocky start’ covered it, no doubt. He walked down the hall to Jody’s office and knocked. When he heard her say come in, he opened the door and prepared to change the trajectory of his life once again. 

Chapter Text

For the first time in months, Castiel slept without nightmares. He woke up once to reach over for Dean, only to find empty space and a pillow he could wrap around to make up for it.  

When he finally woke up, he was surprised to find that it was earlier than he imagined. It’d been a long time since he had awoken before his alarm. It was the twenty-sixth; he’d survived the one-year anniversary of his shooting—and with help from Dean, it was actually a good day, one with much better memories. 

That afternoon, he had his weekly appointment with Lily. “You seem...happy?”  

The man felt his cheeks heat. “Um, do you remember me speaking about...Dean?” 

Lily’s lips twitched. “Yes, Castiel. You’ve only brought him up during nearly every appointment for the last two months.”  

Castiel swallowed hard and made himself look at the computer screen and meet his therapist’s eyes. “He came over to check on me. We, um...” He dropped his eyes to his twisting hands. “He said he loves me.” 

“Oh, Castiel! That’s wonderful!” Lily exclaimed.  

Castiel brought his eyes back to hers and smiled just a little. It was more nerve-wracking than he thought it would be to admit everything out loud. “I love him as well. He...stayed with me.” 

“Oh?” Lily looked like she had a glint in her eyes. “How did that go?” She smiled kindly, however. “Of course, you don’t have to tell me what you don’t want to, Castiel—always remember that.” The man blushed more, and he figured the woman could extrapolate how the night went from that.  

His main concern for the rest of his and Lily’s time together had been whether Dean would be able to have a future with Castiel as broken and burdensome as he was. 

“Castiel Novak! We’ve talked about this: you are neither of those things. If Dean truly loves you, none of it will matter.” 

The appointment ended (finally), and, surprisingly, Castiel felt lighter. Someone knew, understood, and supported. Next, he had to tell his family. Would Dean be alright with that? He’d ask that night when Dean came over for dinner. He found his phone and texted the man.  

Castiel: Hello, Dean. I was just checking in regarding tonight. I know we said 6, but I wasn’t sure what time you would like to arrive. 

The man set his phone to the side of his keyboard, facedown, and went back to work. Five minutes later (and no work yet accomplished), Castiel’s phone sounded. He immediately grabbed it and opened the text thread between himself and Dean.  

Dean: How about now? 

Castiel wasn’t sure what that meant until another text came through. 

Dean: I’m in the driveway 

Castiel smiled, stretching his cheeks in a smile that he wasn’t entirely used to. And so far, it was only for Dean. He left his office and headed for the door. He used the peephole to make sure it really was Dean (he wasn’t stupid) before unlocking the three deadbolts and letting the man inside.  

“Hey, Sunshine.” 

Castiel hooked a hand behind Dean’s neck and pulled him into a kiss as he shut the door. He ended it just as quickly and saw Dean’s stunned face. “Hello, Dean.”  

The other man smirked and leaned in for another kiss. Castiel backed him up against the door. 

“Damn, guess I should come over more often,” Dean said softly, his smile still in place.  

“I’d like that, actually.” 

The men stared, starry-eyed, at each other for several minutes, kissing every so often. Castiel began to deepen their current one when Dean’s phone rang. The man groaned, and the sound went straight to Castiel’s cock (well, that might be a problem in the future...).  

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned it to show Castiel the screen. Sammy was calling.  

“This had better be important,” Dean groused while reaching out to toy with Castiel’s belt. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed Castiel was getting hard.  

“I just wanted to confirm that tonight was okay. You telling me it was the...y’know, anniversary had us worried Castiel wouldn’t feel right meeting someone knew right now.” 

Dean rolled his eyes and bit the tip of his tongue when he’d unbuckled Castiel’s belt. “Well, I’m here now. Lemme ask.” He unbuttoned the jeans with one hand and lowered the zipper. Slowly, Dean inserted his hand inside Castiel’s boxers. The man had to lean forward and brace himself on the wall on either side of Dean’s head. “Cas, how do you feel about meeting some new people tonight? That still okay?” Dean asked, sounding completely normal as he stroked Castiel’s length. 

Dean had pulled the phone away from his ear, so Castiel took advantage and leaned in to bite the lobe. The other man gasped—good. “Yes, Beloved,” Castiel whispered. 

Dean cleared his throat and swallowed hard before bringing the phone back to his ear after Castiel backed away. “Yep, all good. I’ll send the link. See y’all at six. Bye.” Dean ended the call and attacked Castiel’s mouth. He squeezed his hand around Castiel’s cock, and they both moaned. He removed his hand and then pushed Castiel back a step. He lowered himself to his knees, still looking up at Castiel with his lust-blown, golden eyes.  

Castiel adjusted his stance and leaned against the wall once more. Dean pulled Castiel’s pants and underwear down quickly before taking his cock into his hot, wet mouth. Castiel groaned as Dean began bobbing his head slowly, sucking and licking at varying intervals.  

“I won’t last, Beloved,” Castiel panted.  

Dean pulled off the other man’s cock slowly before grinning up at Castiel. “Kinda the point, Sweetheart.” He went back to his task and doubled down.  

“Dean...” The man sucked harder as he reached the head, only to suddenly stop and quickly swallow Castiel to the root. A few more times of that, and Castiel spilled down Dean’s throat. “Jesus.” He was breathing heavily, and he was pretty sure his eyes were permanently crossed.  

Dean stood up slowly, practically slithering up Castiel’s sensitive body. He brought Castiel’s underwear and jeans up as he moved before standing upright. Dean looked up at Castiel through his lashes.  

“Good?” he asked smugly.  

Castiel rolled his eyes and leaned in for a hard kiss before he realized Dean hadn’t come yet. Still kissing, he worked on Dean’s belt as well for a moment before freezing. “You came? From...?”  

Dean shrugged. “Pretty hot; me on my knees and you fucking my mouth.” He grinned bashfully. “Can I borrow some clothes?” 

Castiel smiled fondly at the man he loved. “Of course, Dean. Come upstairs with me.” He held out his hand, and Dean took it without hesitation. 

A few minutes later, Dean was in clean pants and boxers. “What’s for dinner?” he asked as they headed back downstairs.  

Castiel checked the time. It was only three. He had a few hours to come up with a menu. “I don’t know yet.” He looked over at the other man. “Would you want to cook?” 

Dean seemed a little shocked. “Dude, you’d let me use your kitchen?”  

“Why wouldn’t I offer to let you use the kitchen?” 

Dean sat down on one of the stools and pulled Castiel to stand between his legs. “You’ve been through a lot the last few days, Cas. Sam wouldn’t care if we canceled.” 

Castiel was still confused. “What does that have to do with my kitchen?” 

The other man chuckled. “You’re lettin’ me in really fast. You once told me the kitchen was one of your safe spaces.” 

“You remember that?” 

“Of course, I do. Which is why I’m askin’ if you’re sure you want me in there.” Dean looked and sounded so concerned and sincere that Castiel’s eyes began to fill with tears. “Oh, shit, no, don’t cry, Cas. Please.” 

Castiel sniffled and leaned forward to kiss Dean’s forehead. “I love you.” 

Dean raised his head to look into Castiel’s eyes. “I love you, too. How do you feel about burgers?” 

Castiel pretended to give it some thought. “Favorable.”  

“Do I need to make a grocery run?” 

“Probably. I can order deli--” 

Dean put his hands on Castiel’s waist and squeezed gently. “Let me.”  

~~~~~ 

Let me take care of you, Dean’s Omega pleaded silently. The blow job was spur of the moment (and what a moment!), but Dean wanted to do more for the other man. He wanted to show Castiel that he didn’t mind the limitations (for lack of a better word) of their relationship. He wanted Castiel to know that Dean supported him and was a safe person.  

“I can go get the ingredients,” Dean began (seductively), “and you can wait here while I’m gone, thinking about where you’re gonna fuck me when I get back.” Castiel’s eyes were wide, and the pupils were blown, red, ringing them. Dean watched it in real time and felt powerful. “One hour.” He grinned ferally. “Time me.” He pecked a kiss on Castiel’s lips and quickly left the house before he just plain asked to be bent over the table. 

Dean made himself slow down at the grocery store, wanting to make sure that Castiel waited until the last possible minute. He took his time picking out his ground beef and had a long debate with himself over buying fries versus making his own to impress Castiel. In the end, he rolled his eyes at himself. Of course, he wanted to impress the man he loved; duh.  

Dean grabbed some ice cream while he was in the frozen food section, just for the hell of it (and he had another ten minutes he could spend in the store). He also found some chocolate and caramel sauce (neither of which was going to go on ice cream). Dean checked the time and decided he was ready. If he’d had another half an hour, he’d swing by his apartment and get a butt plug to surprise Castiel. Oh, well...next time, he thought with a grin.  

 Dean pulled into Castiel’s driveway with two minutes to spare. He smiled and could have sworn he saw one of the curtains twitch. He bit his lip and took his time getting out of the car.  

He felt his phone buzz as he reached the front door. He looked up at the camera above the door and winked. 

Cas: You’re late. 

Dean: Gonna let me in sunshine? 

The locks disengaged, and Castiel stood in the doorway, inches from stepping outside, only to grab Dean’s collar and pull him inside. He slammed the man back against the door, shutting it in the process. Dean gasped, and Castiel attacked and plundered his mouth.  

“You’re two minutes late, Dean.” Castiel’s hands were already pushing at the sweats Dean wore.  

“I think you’re two minutes early.” Dean nipped Castiel’s lips. “Figure out wh--” 

“I want you in my bed on your knees.” 

“Makin’ up for lost time, I see,” Dean teased.  

“Two minutes, Dean. After you leave me with such a...wonderful idea.”  

Shirts came off next, and then Dean kicked off his boots just before pushing Castiel away and jogging up the stairs. He laughed as he shed his pants and climbed up onto the bed. He looked over at the door and saw Castiel standing there, looking at him like he was...special. The smile went away.  

Castiel pushed his own sweats down and off and stalked naked over to the bed. Dean hung his head as he felt the other man climb up and settle behind him. He also felt when Castiel’s hands came up to his waist...and when the man began to kiss his spine and then his shoulders. Dean let out a shaky breath and then felt Castiel’s tongue at his entrance. 

He dropped his head between his shoulders and pushed back against Castiel, whose tongue had already breached him. Dean didn’t know how long Castiel licked and sucked on his rim, but he was getting antsy. 

“Get in me already,” Dean panted, sweat already gathering at his temples. He moaned and whined. He felt Castiel back away, and almost immediately, the man was pushing into him. He cried out as Castiel sheathed himself quickly.  

Without giving Dean time to adjust, Castiel pulled his hips back and snapped them forward again. Dean raised a hand and slapped it against the headboard to keep from scooting up the bed.  

“Is this...what you wanted?” 

“Yes!”  

Castiel’s grip was tight on Dean’s hips, pulling the man back against him. Dean pushed back, feeling Castiel’s cock rub against his prostate almost incessantly. He moaned out Castiel’s name and came suddenly beneath him. Sensitive but not caring, Dean continued meeting Castiel’s hips. Within a few more strokes, he felt Castiel’s knot catch and his cock twitch inside him, and then the warmth of the other man’s come.  

“Christ, Cas, where you been hidin’ that?” 

The man kissed the side of Dean’s neck. “I got impatient; you were two--” 

“Yeah, yeah...two minutes late.” Dean turned his head and met Castiel’s glassy eyes. He smiled. “I maintain that I was right on time.” He squeezed around Castiel, causing the man to bite down on Dean’s neck with a groan. Dean shivered. Oh, God, what would it be like to feel the man’s bite on his mating gland? They rolled to their sides, and Castiel pulled Dean even closer. 

“I’m glad you came back.” 

Dean frowned. “Why wouldn’t I?” He turned his head to look back at Castiel. 

The Alpha shook his head. “This is all too good to be true, Dean. You are too good to be true.” 

Dean raised his hand and rested it on Castiel’s stubbled cheek. “You are, too, y’know?” He grinned. “Julia Roberts ain’t got nothin’ on me.” 

“Who?” 

“We’re watching Pretty Woman after dinner,” Dean told Castiel firmly. The other man chuckled. Dean checked his watch. “I need to get started on burgers and fries.”  

“I need to finish some work.”  

They came untied, and Dean turned fully around. He leaned in for a kiss. “Guess we both need to get up then.” He really didn’t want to get up. He wanted to text Sam and cancel due to...happiness. That then reminded him of his talk with Jody and Donna. “Oh, I, uh, quit today...Wayward, that is.”  

Castiel raised his hand and placed it on Dean’s cheek. “How did it go?” 

Dean placed his hand on top of Castiel’s, turned his face to kiss the palm, and then met his Alpha’s eyes. “I’m officially just a mechanic.” He started wondering, though, if that would be enough for the other man? He swallowed hard and opened his mouth to say more, but Castiel spoke first. 

“Your scent changed. I’m proud of you, Dean, if that’s what has you upset. I know this was a big step—a big part of your life. I--” Dean cut him off with a kiss.  

“I was just wonderin’ if you’d be okay with the mechanic job. I know it’s not really glamorous or anything--” 

“I’ve seen you sweaty and grease-stained, and I’ve wished I could help you clean up, Dean.” Castiel grinned. “I’m very okay with it.”  

Shocked, Dean let out a surprised laugh. “Oh, really?”  

“It’s a new fantasy, one that I would very much like to explore one day.”  

Dean leaned in for another kiss. This one lingered, and neither man noticed the passage of time...or when they fell asleep.  

The incessant ringing of Dean’s phone woke him up. He looked over the side of the bed and wondered where his pants ended up. Oh, well. Naked, he climbed out of bed and went in search of them. The ringing stopped for a minute and then started again. Dean sighed. He knew it had to be Sam.  

Jeans found (along with the phone), Dean rolled his eyes at the number of texts he’d received from his brother. He hit the call button and went to the bathroom.  

“Jesus, Dean, are you okay?” 

“Uh, yeah, why?” Better than okay, but for the purposes of this conversation, I'm fine.  

“Dude, you totally flaked on dinner,” Sam exclaimed.  

“What? No...” Dean noticed how dark the room was, and he checked his watch. It was nine-thirty. “Holy shit!" he hissed, not wanting to wake Castiel. "Sam, I am so sorry. Cas and I got...preoccupied with something and took a nap, apparently, and--” 

“So, you are sleeping with the guy,” Sam teased. 

“Wait, I thought you were mad.” 

“And I thought you were just friends.” 

Dean rolled his eyes and went to get a pair of sweats from Castiel’s dresser. Mostly dressed, he left the bedroom and headed downstairs. “Shut up, Bitch.” 

“So, are we rescheduling, or will you two be preoccupied again?” 

“Yes, and yes,” Dean answered petulantly. As he reached the first landing, he remembered the groceries were still in his trunk. “Oh, fuck me,” he groaned. 

“Ew! Dean!” 

“I left food in the trunk of Baby, and now she’ll be ruined.” 

“You...forgot food? Damn, this must be serious.” 

“Shut up, Sam.” 

Dean opened the front door, tested that it would still be unlocked from the outside, and closed it behind him. He raced to Baby only to realize he didn’t have his keys. He dropped his chin on his chest. Love made him forgetful as fuck, apparently. He stomped back to the door, opened it, and nearly slammed it shut. (He did remember to flip the deadbolts.) 

Sam must have heard his brother’s grumbling because he started laughing. Dean rolled his eyes as the younger man got himself under control. “Ya done?” he asked, stepping into the living room. 

“Yeah,” Sam sighed. “When are you two free next?” 

“Uh, for dinner?” 

“Of course, for dinner. Jess still wants to meet you, and I really want you to meet her. Please?” 

“I already said yes, Sam! Jeez. Let me check with Cas in the morning, alright?” 

“Fine, but don’t forget.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He pulled the coffee canister toward him as he felt Castiel’s arms wrapped around his middle. Dean automatically leaned back into the Alpha’s chest. “I’ll let you know. Bye.”  

“You hung up on your brother.” 

“Eh, he’ll get over it.” Dean tilted his head and kissed Castiel’s jaw. “We skipped dinner. It's nine.” 

“That’s why it’s so dark.”  

Dean chuckled. “Yes, Alpha, that’s why it’s dark.” He kissed the man’s jaw again. “I’m makin’ coffee; back off.” 

Castiel hummed and nipped Dean’s mating gland hard. The Omega gasped, then moaned. “It’s nine p.m., Dean. You do not need coffee.” Castiel began swaying slightly back and forth, nearly putting Dean back to sleep. “Are you hungry?” 

“Tired.” 

“Then let’s go back to bed.” 

Dean nodded, accepted a quick kiss from Castiel before the two walked back upstairs, hand in hand. When they got back to bed, Dean immediately rolled towards Castiel and buried his face in the man’s neck. As he fell asleep with the calming scent of his Alpha, Dean wondered, could mating be on the table for us? 

Chapter Text

Castiel woke up to the sound of his alarm and quickly reached over to silence it before it also woke Dean. He froze for a moment afterward to see if the other man would wake. In the end, Dean shifted and began snoring lightly. Castiel smiled and got out of bed to change into workout gear. 

He grabbed his running shoes and went down the hall to his gym. He pulled a water bottle out of a little refrigerator and stepped on the treadmill. Running outdoors had been one of the hardest things to give up once he decided he wasn’t ever going outside again. Castiel had loved the ritual, the meditation. Now he ran inside on a treadmill that faced the window overlooking the front yard. He rolled his eyes at himself.  

After his allotted hour, Castiel began to slow down, walking to cool down. Next up was thirty minutes of yoga. When he’d finished his workout, Castiel headed straight downstairs for coffee before his shower; he deserved it.  

Wanting to let Dean sleep longer, he didn’t bother going to wake the man up for coffee together. Castiel didn’t know what Dean’s plans were for the day and didn’t want to mess them up if it didn’t involve getting up at seven a.m.  

He turned the corner into the kitchen and saw Dean, already dressed and with damp hair, standing at the coffee maker. 

“Jesus Christ, Cas,” Dean groaned. He turned around, grabbed the Alpha’s collar, and met the other man’s eyes. They flashed gold for just a second before Dean launched himself into Castiel’s arms. He immediately buried his face in the Alpha’s neck. “Fuck, you smell amazing.” 

Castiel didn’t understand the appeal of his sweat, but Dean licking his neck? That he understood. He gripped Dean’s hips and pushed him back into the counter. The man’s eyes were ringed in gold. Castiel could smell Dean’s arousal building fast and heady.  

“Are you going into heat?” he asked logically. 

Dean rolled his eyes. “You smell awesome, and I want your knot before I have to go to work. Plus, I’m on suppressants, so we’ve got about another month before that hits. All that good enough?” 

Castiel nodded and pressed his lips to Dean’s, forcing them open with his tongue so that he could taste his Omega as well. Dean moaned loudly into the kiss before he began pushing at Castiel’s shorts. 

“Much as I’m lovin’ these shorts on you, Sunshine, they gotta go.” Castiel nodded and began working on Dean’s belt. Dean reached his prize first and wrapped a hand around Castiel’s hard and leaking cock. He dropped his head to Dean’s shoulder and groaned.  

“Dean,” he intoned. Castiel turned his head and also went for Dean’s neck, sucking the tender flesh before nibbling on it. His Omega gasped, and he remembered he had a task: knot Dean. He almost cried with joy when the belt clanged open, and he could unbutton and unzip the other man’s jeans. The next task accomplished, Castiel grabbed Dean’s hips and roughly turned him around. He pulled the pants under Dean’s leaking ass and pushed his own just below his balls.  

Castiel speared Dean hard and fast, and both men were very vocal about it.  

“Castiel!” 

His Alpha puffed up and felt triumphant. Castiel pulled back and swiftly thrust back in, pulling Dean back on his cock. Dean dropped down to his elbows and canted his ass out for a better angle. When Castiel hit the man’s prostate, he shouted. Dean reached back for Castiel’s hand and linked them together.  

As he felt his knot begin to swell and catch, Castiel debated actually knotting Dean in the kitchen as opposed to, say, the couch. “Dean, I--” 

“Fuck, don’t you dare stop. Knot me, Cas.”  

Who was Castiel to deny his Omega anything? He thrust one last time into Dean and allowed his knot to tie them together. He felt Dean squeeze his hand as they came together. Dean leaned over further, putting his head down on his forearm.  

Concerned, Castiel pressed closer to Dean’s back. He kissed the man between the shoulder blades. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asked gently. 

Dean chuckling and clenching down on Castiel’s cock had the Alpha practically growling. “No, Alpha, you most certainly did not.” The man sounded a little drunk, and Castiel’s Alpha howled with pride.  

“Good. I would hate to hurt you, Dean.”  

Dean shifted and turned his head for a kiss. “I know,” he said quietly. They kissed for a few minutes before coming untied. Dean groaned. “I need to go home for clean clothes.” It was true; Dean's pants were wet with slick. 

“I’ll get you some clothes to wear home.” Castiel slowly pulled out of Dean and watched his come, and Dean’s slick mingle on the man’s thighs. He rolled his eyes at himself and turned to get Dean a towel to clean up. Handing it over, Castiel then pulled his shorts up and went upstairs for another pair of underwear and sweats for Dean. He smiled as he pulled them out of the drawer. He really enjoyed seeing Dean in his clothes.  

Castiel returned to the kitchen, where Dean was naked from the waist down. The Alpha stopped in his tracks to admire his Omega.  

“Gimme those. Don’t objectify me.” Dean grinned and grabbed the clothing from Castiel’s arms. In the middle of the kitchen, he put on the bright orange boxer briefs that Castiel found, as well as some red and black plaid sleep pants. Dean dressed quickly.  

“In a hurry?” 

“Bobby’ll pitch a fit if I’m late, but he’s gonna have to get over it.” Dean finished putting his boots back on and leaned over to kiss Castiel quickly before shouting a short ‘bye’ over his shoulder as he left the room.  

Castiel heard the door open and shut and went to secure the locks. He smiled all morning as he worked. He checked his phone for texts often and tried not to be disappointed when he didn’t have anything from Dean. The man was at work, busy doing something...mechanical. He couldn’t be expected to text Castiel all day.  

At lunch, the man left his phone in the office on purpose so that he’d have at least some time away from it. He’d broken down and texted Dean around ten-thirty. 

Castiel: I love you 

Did Dean not want him to say it through a text? Was Dean embarrassed? What if he was embarrassed by Castiel? The Alpha suddenly felt sick to his stomach. No, Dean loved him. Castiel trusted that the other man was being honest with him. And he was...right? 

At one-twenty-six, Dean called Castiel’s phone. He smiled and picked it up, answering almost immediately. “Hello, Dean.” 

“Uh, hey, Cas.” The man sounded...odd.  

“Is everything alright?” 

“Heh, not really. I...got hurt at work, and...I’m at the ER.” 

Castiel was shocked speechless. Dean was hurt? Dean was in the ER? He needed to go to him! His Alpha was already preparing to take care of its Omega.  

“I... What happened?” he demanded. He thought the worst. Dean had scraped his thumb badly a few weeks prior, and according to him, that was usually the extent of any injuries. 

“I...may have hit my head.” 

“You...may have. You don’t know?” Castiel was concerned that Dean could have amnesia.  

“No, Cas, I did hit my head, I just feel stupid about it.” 

“Well, are you...?” 

“I had a head CT and MRI, and...” 

Castiel stood and stormed out of his office. He made it to the garage door (where his car still sat, unused and dusty) before he stopped. He had been about to get into his car and go to Dean. Castiel hadn’t felt the impulse to leave the house in over a year. But Dean was hurt... His chest began to feel tight. 

“I... I can’t...” 

“Hey, hey, no. Cas, I just wanted to let you know. I promise that’s all I wanted.” Dean lowered his voice. “I know you’d come if you could.” 

Castiel leaned against the doorframe. Some Alpha he was. His Omega was hurt and in pain, and he couldn’t even go to the man! “A-are you a-alone?” That he simply could not bear. He’d call Gabriel or Anna to go sit with him...in his place. His breath started to come in short pants. 

Dean must’ve heard the Alpha make some noise. His next words were firm. “Castiel, listen to me. Bobby’s here, okay? I’ve probably just got a concussion and can leave in a coupl’a hours.” 

Castiel ran a hand through his hair and tugged none too gently (nothing like having Dean’s hands in his hair), trying to pull himself out of a panic attack. The only thing he could think of was bad Alpha.  

“Cas?”  

“I’m so sorry, Dean. I...” 

“Hey, Sweetheart, it’s all good. I’m being taken care of.” Dean paused briefly. “Would it make you feel better if I came over after the hospital?” 

Castiel squeezed his eyes tightly. Yes! He nodded and felt his chest open just a little. He could breathe easier and managed to reply to Dean’s question. “Yes, that would be for the best, I think.” His Alpha needed to see that his Omega was alright. He needed to take care of the man, prove that he really was a worthy Alpha.  

“Okay, Cas. I’ll have Bobby drop me off, okay?” Someone spoke on Dean’s end of the line. “Oh, hey, the doctor’s here. You wanna hear what he has to say?” 

Castiel’s chest loosened further. “Yes,” he rasped. He heard shuffling and then, clearly, he heard a doctor talking to Dean. 

“You’re very lucky, Mr. Winchester. You’ve got a concussion—a pretty severe one—and ended up with seven stitches. You could have been hurt worse.” 

“Dean...” The man didn’t mention stitches...and worse?

“Yeah, I hit pretty hard,” he admitted. 

The doctor chuckled. “My mate’s the same way—overprotective to a fault. It’s why we love ‘em, though, right?” 

Dean was quiet on the other end of the line. “Yeah,” he finally said. He cleared his throat. “You were sayin’ about a concussion?” 

“Yes, I’d like to keep you overnight for observation.” 

“I can observe him,” Castiel immediately told them, not even thinking he was talking to a stranger over the phone. “What do I need to do?” 

“I’d really prefer if--” Castiel growled low in his throat. “I--” 

Dean interrupted, “He’s agoraphobic, doc. Lemme go home to ‘im?”  

Castiel, while grateful that Dean wanted to stay with him, recoiled at hearing the other man tell the doctor about him. He was practically admitting that he had a bad Alpha—one who wasn’t able to leave the house! Castiel felt ashamed. 

“Dean...” 

“Yes, alright. I suppose if there are extenuating circumstances. I’ll discharge you in a few hours—I still want to observe you for a while and make sure you don’t feel worse. Then, once I’m satisfied, you’ll be able to go home to your mate. Deal?”  

Castiel winced. “We’re not--” 

“Works for me, man. Hook me up to whatever and let’s get this over with.” Castiel heard shuffling again. “Thanks, doc,” he said, sounding closer. “You okay, Cas?” Dean asked softly.   

“We’re...not mated.” But, oh, how he wanted to be. It was nothing more than a silly dream, however. Dean couldn’t possibly want him after this, after realizing that Castiel was a bad Alpha.  

“Oh. Uh, yeah, no. I just...agreed.” Dean quieted. 

“Dean?” 

“Are you really okay with me coming over after I leave?” the man asked, sounding apprehensive. “I can go home and have Sam check in on me. I don’t want to...overreach, or anything.”  

This could be his chance to prove he was a good Alpha, one who Dean might actually...mate someday. (Could he even dare dream?)  

~~~~~ 

Dean heard Castiel take a shaky breath and closed his eyes, ready for rejection. “It’s fine. My Alpha is...very concerned.” 

“Oh.” He cleared his throat and whispered, “My, uh...Omega really wants you right now.” Dean closed his eyes, pushing the feeling down to a manageable level. He can’t be here. It’s fine. It’s...fine. 

“Tell me what happened?” 

Dean chuckled and leaned his head back. He was told not to go to sleep yet, and the headache he currently had would likely make sure that wouldn’t happen. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.” 

“That’s all?” Dean could practically see Castiel raise an eyebrow, not convinced that really was all.  

“Uh, not...really.” He sighed. “I was working on the GTO and got up from the floor and turned around too fast, I guess. I hit my head and split my eyebrow.” 

“Oh, is that all?” Castiel sassed. Dean closed his eyes against the fluorescent lights and allowed himself a small smile. It sounded like maybe the crisis had been averted. 

“Mr. Winchester, you’re not allowed to fall asleep,” the nurse said, coming to check on his vitals or stitches or something.  

“’m not. My head hurts like a bitch, and the lights ain’t helpin’.” Shit, was he slurring his words? “Hey, Cas?” 

“Yes, Dean?” 

“Are you mad?” The nurse gave him a sympathetic look, and Dean blushed. He was worried about Castiel, that the man would feel guilt or anger toward Dean for putting him in an awkward position. 

Castiel sighed heavily. He sounded exhausted as he finally answered, “Only at myself.” Exhausted and sad. Dean didn’t like that he was the cause.  

“Cas, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I--” 

“I doubt you hit your head on purpose, Dean.” (Dean decided not to tell Castiel that he was texting the Alpha at the time...) 

“Yeah, but--” 

“Please have Bobby bring you here when you’re discharged.” 

“Can I swing by my apartment and get a bag together and then go home?” Whoa! Home? Dean shut his eyes and mentally kicked himself. He loved Castiel; his Omega would think of the Alpha’s home as his own.  

“Of course, Dean; anything.” 

“Then tell me about your day. I’m gonna be bored as fuck in about five minutes,” Dean joked. He got a chuckle out of Castiel and considered it a win.  

For two hours, the men talked back and forth, both waiting for Dean to be discharged. Finally, after three hours, the nurse came back with his release papers.  

“Okay, you need to be monitored for at least twenty-four hours. No heavy lifting or strenuous activity. Limit screens or nix them completely. No driving. You’ll have a headache, but if you experience any nausea or vomiting--” 

“Dean, who would take you back if you were to get worse? I-I--” 

“Sammy. Sam would; all it’d take would be a text.” He met the nurse’s eyes and swallowed hard. Dean didn’t know if she’d heard him tell the doctor that his mate was agoraphobic, but he wasn’t going to say it out loud a second time.  

While Castiel was silent, the nurse continued to explain what to do after he left the hospital. “Now, important question time: is there someone here to take you home?” 

“Yep; the grumpy bastard in the trucker’s cap out in the waiting room,” Dean joked. Castiel remained silent. “Cas?” 

“I’ll see you soon, Dean.” The man then ended the call. Dean was left staring at his phone in shock. Had he said something wrong? 

“Right, well, let’s get out to him, shall we?” The nurse stepped outside the small cubicle for a moment before bringing in a wheelchair.  

“Seriously?” 

“This or you don’t go, hon.” 

Dean rolled his eyes (which hurt) but relented and transferred from the bed to the chair. He was wheeled out to the waiting room, where Bobby was sitting, flipping through a copy of Psychology Today.  

“Anything good?” Dean asked.  

“Nope.” Bobby set the magazine to the side. “Hang on a sec, and I’ll bring the truck around.” A few minutes later, he arrived, and Dean was loaded into it. The sunlight was brutal, so he shut his eyes. “Where we headed?” 

“Uh, apartment then Cas’ place.” 

“I get to meet the fella?” 

“Heh, no. He doesn’t like new people.” 

“How’d he end up with your ass then?” 

Dean had to laugh. “Anna--his baby sister—pimped me out as a new friend.” His chuckles slowed. “And the rest is history.” 

The men arrived at Dean’s apartment, and he quickly packed a bag for a couple of nights...just in case (he really hoped he wasn’t overstepping). The closer the men drove to Castiel’s house, the worse Dean’s headache became. He figured it was half worry and half concussion.  

“Do I help you in, or what?” Bobby asked, pulling into the other man’s driveway. 

Dean grabbed his bag. “Nah, I got it from here. Thanks for the ride.” 

“Remember, no work for the next week. I don’t want you keelin’ over again.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. See ya.” 

Bobby waved before backing out of the driveway and going on his way. Dean sighed and turned toward the house. Fuck, he wanted a nap. He felt like that would fix all his problems...yeah, a nap with his Alpha beside him. Without realizing it, Dean walked up to the front door and knocked. The sound of deadbolts disengaging had him smiling widely. On the other side of the door, however, a ragged Alpha stood.  

“You’re here.”  

Dean took in the way the other man looked—pale and disheveled. He probably didn’t look so hot himself. He stepped forward, but Castiel didn’t yield.  

“Yeah, man. We talked about it, right?” Please don’t turn me away. Dean didn’t think he’d survive being sent away when he was hurting and needed comfort. “Cas?” 

The Alpha shook his head, and Dean’s heart dropped. “I didn’t think you meant it.” 

Shocked, he nodded. “Yeah, I did.” 

“I didn’t come to you at the hospital.” 

“We already talked about that, Cas.” Dean’s voice was beginning to turn whiny, needy. He felt tears well up in his eyes, and his head throbbed. “I really want my Alpha,” he whispered.  

Castiel stared at him for a moment (awed?) before reaching out and taking Dean’s hand. He pulled the man into the house before closing and locking the door. They didn’t move toward the stairs, simply stayed at the doorway, and gazed intently into each other’s eyes.  

Castiel searched Dean’s face. “You look like you’ve had a rough day.” 

Dean, shocked, barked out a laugh. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could say that.” 

“Would you like a shower?” Dean began to relax in increments. He nodded. Castiel smiled a little. “Go do that, and I’ll meet you in the kitchen.” He reached out again and gestured at Dean’s hand. “Your discharge papers?” Dean handed them to the other man. He began to lean in for a kiss, but Castiel turned away and headed downstairs. Dean’s Omega was confused.  

He climbed the stairs slowly, both in deference to his headache and the weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. He set his duffel on the bed and pulled comfy clothes out for after his shower. Dean took everything to the bathroom and stood at the vanity. He peeled the gauze off his forehead and got a look at his stitches for the first time. It wasn’t the first time he’d had them, and it probably wouldn’t be the last.  

Dean sighed and walked over to turn on the shower. He stripped and stepped in, sighing at the hot water, hitting his shoulders and loosening some of the tension he held there. He didn’t know what was wrong with Castiel, but it was bothersome. Even the man’s scent was confusing. 

Dean washed quickly, got out, dried off, dressed, and went in search of his Alpha. He tried the kitchen first with no luck. The man frowned. “Cas?” he called out. Well, at least he wouldn’t leave, Dean reminded himself. On the counter were his discharge papers, highlighted in some areas. Castiel had made a list in the margins. 

• Limited screen time 

• 24-hour monitoring 

• Nausea, dizziness, vomiting 

• Tylenol 

Well, at least the Alpha was prepared. Dean checked the time and saw that it was getting close to dinner. He’d eventually saved the groceries from the trunk the other day (the ice cream definitely melted and would require some serious cleanup) and went to the fridge and pulled out the ingredients for his burgers.  

An hour later, the burgers and fries were finished, and Dean went looking for Castiel again. This time, he headed for the office off the living room (next was going to be the gym room). He walked up to the double doors and saw through the paneled glass that Castiel wasn’t doing anything but holding his head in his hands. Dean knocked, and the Alpha’s head snapped up.  

Rather than wave Dean in, the other man got up and walked to the door, opening it only slightly. He’d been crying.  

“Yes, Dean?” 

The Omega swallowed hard. Castiel’s scent was all over the place. “Uh, dinner. If you want it, that is.”  

Castiel nodded. “Thank you, Dean.” He stepped back in and closed the door in Dean’s face.  

“Nice, Cas,” Dean muttered as he turned away to go eat by himself, apparently. He ignored the way his Omega whined. 

Chapter Text

Castiel went to the kitchen only long enough to read through Dean's release instructions. After that, he went to hide in his office. He felt awful. His Alpha was pacing, telling him to go to his (hurt) Omega. Every time he thought about going upstairs, however, his hands began to shake. Bad Alpha, circled through his mind over and over. Castiel knew he was going to lose Dean; it was only a matter of time before the other man realized how useless his Alpha was.  

But, oh, God, hearing Dean so casually call Castiel his mate... It’d made his heart stutter. Was that something that Dean actually wanted? Well, probably not anymore. He dropped his head into his hands and allowed the tears he’d been holding back all afternoon to fall.  

Sometime later, Dean knocked on the office door. Castiel could see him through the glass. His head was bruising and the stitched area looked angry and probably hurt like hell. His stomach twisted. Castiel slowly stood up and walked to the door. 

“Yes, Dean?” 

The Omega swallowed hard. His scent was nervous and apprehensive, something Castiel wasn’t really used to, and it made him feel worse. “Uh, dinner. If you want it, that is.” He tried schooling his own scent to something less heartbreaking. 

Castiel nodded. “Thank you, Dean.” He stepped back in and closed the door in Dean’s face. He turned quickly, not wanting to see Dean’s likely crestfallen face. He went over to the couch he’d put in his office and lay down, hands coming up to cover his face. Castiel was miserable; he hurt physically and mentally, and all he wanted to do was go to Dean. Bad Alpha.  

He stayed in his office until it became dark. Castiel wondered if Dean left. He slowly sat up (his head hurt from crying so much that afternoon), stood, and exited the office. Everything—even the kitchen was dark. He checked his watch. It was almost eight. Dean must have left. It’s for the best, Castiel reminded himself.  

The Alpha trudged up the stairs and into the bedroom. One of the nightstand lights was on, but it looked like Dean was fast asleep. According to his discharge papers, the man needed to be monitored for twenty-four hours. Castiel debated for a few minutes on whether he should wake Dean up. 

“Starin’s creepy,” the Omega said quietly. 

“My apologies. I was just wondering if I should wake you up as part of your monitoring.” 

Dean opened his eyes and turned his head to face Castiel. “I have an alarm set for a couple of hours from now.” He looked away. “Figured by then you’ll have decided if you want me here or not.” 

Castiel had to think about it himself. He desperately wanted Dean to stay, but he also didn’t want to be a bad Alpha to his injured Omega. He could only nod and turn to walk away. 

“Cas, wait.” Castiel heard shuffling and turned to see Dean sitting up on the edge of the bed. “What happened?” Dean whispered. “You’re upset about something. I wish you’d tell me what.” 

Castiel swallowed hard. “I couldn’t go to the hospital,” he said in a small voice. 

“And?” Dean looked exasperated. “We handled it, man.” 

Castiel turned around to face the other man. “And next time you’re hurt or in an accident?” His voice rose incrementally. “I wouldn’t be able to take you, Dean. I wouldn’t be able to stay by your side when you need me the most. I...” He took a deep breath and met Dean’s wet eyes. “I’m a bad Alpha for you, Dean. You deserve better than someone who’s broken inside.” 

“Bullshit.” Castiel certainly wasn’t expecting that. “You’re an amazing Alpha. You stayed on the phone with me so I wouldn’t be alone. You--” 

“Exactly, Dean, I was on the goddamn phone! I should’ve been there.”  

“Cas, I get that you can’t...that you’re not able to get out. I won’t pressure you to do it—ever. You are my Alpha, and I’ll decide whether you’re good or not. Which, by the way, you’re phenomenal.” The men stared into each other’s eyes, one’s sad and the other’s determined. The compliment nearly crushed Castiel. He winced and looked away. Dean sighed. “I’ll pack up and call Sam if you really want me to go.” 

Castiel was at war with himself. Did he tell Dean to go? Did he ask him to stay? “I...” he broke off. His Alpha (and his heart) only wanted Dean, but his head... 

Dean nodded and stood. “That's answer enough.” He walked to his duffel and zipped it up definitively. He pulled his phone out of his pocket as he stood so that he could call Sam. Dean met Castiel’s eyes. “Hey, Sammy, you free for about an hour? Yeah, no, I’m good.” He cleared his throat. “Cas isn’t up for visitors tonight.” Dean nodded. “Cool, I’ll text you the address. Yeah, bye.” He texted quickly, then put his phone away, and sat to put his boots on.

“Dean--” 

“You’ve made your point.” Dean shifted his duffel on his shoulder and pushed past Castiel to leave the room and head down the stairs. 

Castiel’s Alpha howled in pain. Was he really going to turn away his Omega? He stood in the bedroom doorway as the front door slammed behind Dean. It’s for the best... 

After two days of no contact with Dean, Castiel began to feel sick. When Thursday night's family dinner rolled around, the man ordered takeout to make things easier on him; he was so...sad. His shoulder ached for those two days, making him surly.  

When Anna and Gabriel arrived, his sister was the first to make a comment. “Cassie, you look awful! Are you alright?” She stepped forward and reached her hand up to feel her brother’s forehead. “I think you have a fever.” 

Gabriel, finally concerned after having gone directly to the kitchen to inspect dinner, came up beside him. “No Deano?” 

Castiel stiffened and swallowed down a pathetic whine. “I believe that Dean and I have...ended what we...had.” God, it hurt to say! He reached up and rubbed his shoulder.  

“Oh, my God, Castiel! What happened?” Anna exclaimed. She had been rooting for the two since the beginning, and to hear that the men had broken up (as a younger sister, she had the right to make assumptions about her brothers)? It was devastating (especially knowing that Castiel would lose both a friend and a partner if their ‘separation’ went on too long). 

Castiel averted his eyes. He cancelled his therapy appointment the day before; he wasn’t ready to talk about Dean and their...situation. With his siblings, however... 

“Dean was injured a few days ago at the auto shop.” There was a chorus of ‘What happened’ and ‘Oh, my God’. He closed his eyes. “I couldn’t go to him at the hospital. I had to...” Castiel’s breath hitched. “I stayed on the phone. I couldn’t...can’t...” 

“Oh, Castiel,” Anna crooned as she gathered her brother in her arms. She looked over at Gabriel, who actually looked concerned, likely frowning at the situation Castiel had found himself in. “What happened? You couldn’t go to the hospital, but Dean was discharged, right?” 

Castiel nodded. “He...came here before I...convinced him to leave.” 

“You what?” Gabriel spoke up. “Dude!” 

“I... I can’t be the Alpha Dean needs. I could never be there for him, I...” He’d not be able to see his pups being born. A tear slid down his cheek.  

“Cassie, I don’t think Dean cares,” Anna tried to soothe. “You should have seen him the day he quit Wayward; he was happy. He is happy—with you.”  

Castiel shook his head. “No, he won’t be as time goes on. He’ll want to do things out of the house and will expect--” 

“Absolutely nothing!” Anna exclaimed. “Dean knows and understands, Castiel, he--” 

“I think perhaps we should cancel dinner tonight. You’re right, Anna: I’m not feeling very well.” He walked up to the door and began unlocking it, opening it for his siblings to exit. 

Anna scoffed and looked at Gabriel, who shrugged. The woman rolled her eyes and walked to the door before stopping and looking at her brother. “You’re gonna regret this, Castiel, and I hope Dean loves you enough to take you back, you idiot.” She sailed out the door without looking back. 

Gabriel stayed in the living room, hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels. “Dean’s been really good for you, Cassie. Don’t cock it up.” He finally made his way to the door, clapped his brother on the non-injured shoulder, and left.  

Castiel barely refrained from slamming the door. He stood at the door, unsure of what to do next. He leaned against the door and knocked his head against it a few times. He wanted to text Dean and check on him—his impulse for the last two days—but he always stopped himself before grabbing his phone. 

As the days passed, Castiel really did begin to feel sick. He made an appointment with his doctor (who listened patiently as the man described what had happened over the past week and a half).  

“I’m calling Rejection Sickness.” 

Castiel was confused. “I’ve not been rejected.” 

“No, from the sound of things, you rejected yourself.” Castiel scowled. “I’m just saying that, as your doctor, if this gets too extreme, we will have to hospitalize you.”  

Castiel began shaking—both his body and his head. He was about to refute the doctor’s claim when the doorbell rang. The man jumped. There were no deliveries scheduled for that day. He swallowed hard and looked at the doctor as the doorbell sounded again.  

“I should get that,” Castiel told the other man shakily.  

“You’re still taking your medications?” The Alpha nodded. It was hard to take them, however, knowing they were supposed to make him feel somewhat better. Dean would help more than anything. The doorbell rang again, this time with someone beating on the door. The two said quick goodbyes, and Castiel opened his security app. 

Standing at the door was a very tall man with longish hair. Castiel vaguely recognized him. “Hello. I don’t have any deliveries scheduled for today. Please leave.” 

The man looked up at the camera. “You’re Castiel?” 

“I’m...not sure who you are, but--” 

“I’m Sam, Dean’s brother.” At the sound of Dean’s name, Castiel’s heart practically leaped from his chest. “Look, I know the situation, but Dean’s been hospitalized for Rejection Sickness. Thanks to you. The least you can do is open the door so I can punch you.” 

Dean...hospital...Rejection Sickness. “I’m afraid I will not be doing that, Sam.” His breath hitched. I did this.  

Sam scoffed. “Right. Well, whatever you said or did to my brother, you'd better fix it.” The man turned around and walked to his car.  

Castiel stepped back, almost falling down the stairs before catching himself with the newel post. His mind was reeling; his Alpha was howling, and he felt sick—sicker than what he’d told Anna and Gabriel about the week before.  

He decided to pull out his phone and text Dean. Would he answer? 

Castiel: Sam was here. He told me you are in the hospital. 

Dean: ... 

Dean:... 

Dean: This is Sam’s girlfriend Jess. I’m not going to pass along your message. 

Castiel’s stomach dropped even further if that was possible.  

Castiel: I understand. 

~~~~~ 

Dean stood outside for almost twenty minutes while he waited for Sam. He was doing his damndest not to cry, but... Well, nobody told his Omega that. Standing in the late August sun and heat (even so late in the day) had him feeling dizzy by the time Sam arrived.  

The overly dramatic Alpha raced out of the car to help Dean out of it when they reached his apartment, but he scoffed and pushed his brother away. 

“Dude, you reek, okay? Let me at least help you inside,” Sam said quietly so no one would hear, which Dean appreciated.  

He shook his head, however, and stated, “Just take the duffel.” Dean was sure Sam was right about his scent—sad Omega, hurt Omega (mentally and physically), tired and cranky Omega, sweaty Omega... 

The younger man huffed and frowned, but went to the backseat to get Dean’s beat-up leather duffel. Dean had packed three days' worth of clothes; wishful thinking, apparently. He trudged through the lobby (with Sam walking slowly, probably waiting for Dean to fall over) and reached the elevator. He jabbed the number for his floor and leaned back against the wall.  

“You look like shit, too.” 

“Fuck you very much,” Dean muttered. He felt so tired. Everything hurt, but especially his head. He wanted his Alpha to make it better, but that wasn’t going to happen.  

The elevator stopped, and the men stepped out. One big perk of Dean’s apartment building was the scent- and soundproof walls. The man knew that he’d be alone soon and could yell and throw things (and sob) without anyone calling the cops on him. 

“You want me to stay?” Sam asked (far too) gently when they entered the apartment. It didn’t smell like pine and wet Earth. Dean dug his nails into his palms to keep from dropping to the floor and crying right in front of his brother. 

Instead, he shook his head. “I’ll set alarms.” Dean needed to be woken every few hours. He had hoped it would be Castiel to kiss him awake. He heard Sam sigh. 

“You really shouldn’t be alone, Dean; seriously.” 

Dean rolled his eyes, hurting his head more. “Then fucking call me, Sam.” Yeah, that’s what he needed—his annoying little brother calling him every four hours. 

“Fine.”  

Fuck.  

It took another twenty minutes for Dean to get rid of Sam. It had been going on two hours since he’d been released from the hospital, and all he wanted was pain relief and a fucking nap. He left his duffel by the door and walked down the hall to the bathroom, making a beeline for the medicine cabinet. He found Tylenol, shook out four, and stuck his face in the sink to drink from the faucet.  

Dean chanced it and closed the cabinet, forcing himself to look in the mirror. “Not your fault, man,” he whispered. It was Castiel’s; he was the one who pushed Dean away. That didn’t mean the guilt, the hurt, the rejection weren’t still there. He closed his eyes and left for the bedroom. Dean didn’t register the tears on his cheeks.  

The Omega hadn't bothered changing out of his pajamas when he left Castiel's, so he climbed into his empty, not-as-good-smelling bed and actually fell asleep. 

The following morning, Dean was ready to kill his brother. Every. Four. Hours. Sam called every four hours like clockwork to ask Dean stupid questions, like when his birthday was. He lay in bed, waiting for a phone call. He had been up every two hours because he kept dreaming about Castiel. Suffice it to say, Dean did not sleep well.  

Bobby had banished him from work for a week, and the man didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to do. At least with Castiel... Dean sniffled. Not again, he pleaded. He felt wrung dry of tears. How could there be so many left? 

Sam stopped calling Dean at two-thirty—p.m. He was grateful because he wanted to sleep. Dean got up to pee and took more Tylenol before shuffling down the hall to the kitchen. He didn’t like the idea of coffee and really didn’t like the idea of food. Instead, he filled a glass with water and drank it quickly. It felt good on his raw throat.  

Going back to bed was a special kind of torture. He desperately wanted Castiel beside him. Dean shed more tears as he climbed in and got comfortable. He remembered Gertrude lying at their feet when they slept. He kind of missed it; the weight, the warmth (no, that was still Castiel). 

Dean was pounding on Castiel’s door in his dream, yelling for the dumbass Alpha to open the goddamn door. When his brain registered that it was someone actually knocking on his door, he groaned and sat up. He was holding his head in his hands when Sam barged in.  

“Oh, thank God.” 

Dean looked up at his brother through squinty (still sleepy) eyes. “What?” he croaked. He swallowed. Damn, he was thirsty. He started to get out of bed when Sam stopped him. 

“No, no way. Get back in bed.” Fair enough, Dean thought as he lay back down. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me. Do you even know where your phone is?”  

Dean was having trouble focusing. “Uh...” 

“I haven’t heard from you in almost three fucking days, Dean!” 

“Wh...” He tried to sit up again, but Sam’s hand on his chest pushed him down easily.  

“I’m calling Jess. She’s on shift at the hospital and--” 

“No, I’m not goin’ to the hospital. I’m fine. I’m...tired.” 

“No, you have Rejection Sickness, and you’re probably super dehydrated. I’m taking you to the damn hospital.” The younger man pulled out his phone and pushed a couple of buttons. “Hey. Yeah, he’s alive at least.” Sam cut his eyes over to Dean. “Yeah, we’re on our way.” The call ended, and Sam shoved the phone in his back pocket. He glared at Dean, who rolled his eyes.  

Two hours later, he was hooked up to an I.V. drip for fluids and antibiotics (an infection was trying to set in on the cut on his forehead). Dean never said anything. He felt...empty and lost.  

It wasn’t at all how he planned to meet Sam’s girlfriend, but Jess was a nurse in the ER and was assigned to him. “I think Sam grabbed your phone. Do you want it? 

Dean cleared his throat. “Not really, but thanks.” Jess nodded and smiled kindly. She was great for Sam, and Dean genuinely liked her (except when she was poking him with needles).  

“No worries. Looks like your bag is almost empty,” the woman said happily as she checked Dean's vitals. “You’ll be able to go to your own room--” 

“No, no, no. I ain’t stayin’.” 

“Dean, you’re severely dehydrated, you have an infection, and you have Rejection Sickness. Do you really think a doctor is going to let you go home alone?” 

The man sighed. “I’m not staying. Sam can come--” 

“Oh,” Jess exclaimed when Dean’s phone pinged in her hand. “Oh, shit.” 

“What?” 

“The notification said it was from Cas.” 

Dean’s eyes widened. It’d been a week since he’d seen or heard from the man. He cleared his throat. “What’s it say?”  

“What’s your code?” 

“Sammy’s birthday.” 

Jess rolled her eyes and muttered, “You two are so predictable.” She swiped to where she needed to be and gasped again. “I’ll kill him.” 

“Whoa, who? Cas?” Dean’s heart monitor started beeping faster. 

“No, I mean, yes, technically. But he said that Sam went to his house and told him you were in the hospital.” 

“I’ll kill him.” It was one part irritation, one part sadness, and one part hope. “Uh, what’s he...say?” 

Jess’s eyes turned sympathetic. “Do you really want to talk to him?” she asked gently.  

Yes. Dean nodded, and the woman gave him the phone. 

Cas: Sam was here. He told me you are in the hospital. 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Alphas thinkin’ they’re all badass. At least Cas wouldn’t have opened the door for him.” He held the phone for several moments, starting and stopping typing, before handing it to Jess. “Tell him whatever.” He swallowed hard and looked away. All he wanted to do was tell the Alpha he was loved and forgiven. 

Jess typed in a message. Do you want to read it?” 

“Nah. Thanks.” 

“Yeah, of course. I’ll let you rest a while and talk to the doctor about discharging you under Sam’s care.”  

“Whoopee.” 

“Hey, he’s better than sleeping on these awful mattresses for a few more days.”  

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, alright.”  

The man wasn’t discharged until late the following day. Both Sam and Jess picked him up.  

“How are you feeling?” Sam asked as he drove away from the hospital exit. 

“Like shit.” 

There was no more conversation on the way to Dean’s apartment. 

Chapter Text

Castiel didn’t sleep for two days. Nightmares and panic attacks plagued him. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Dean’s pale face as he told the Omega to leave. It just became easier not to sleep.  

“I think you should try reaching out again,” Anna suggested at their family dinner. It was just the three siblings, but only two were talking. 

Castiel shook his head and stood to get more whiskey off the counter. “Jess said not to.” 

“No, she said she wouldn’t tell Dean about your text,” his sister insisted. “Try again; call this time.” 

Castiel poured the amber liquid into his glass. He’d have to see if InstaCart would bring more alcohol after his siblings left. He'd just put in this order the day before.

“So, Zombie Castiel, when are you gonna go get your prince charming?” 

“I can’t leave the fucking house, Gabriel!” the Alpha shouted. “Do you think I want to be here? Do you think I wanted to send Dean away? I’m fucking broken!” Panting, Castiel went around the bar and into the kitchen to throw his glass in the sink. Shards of it went flying, most landing on Castiel’s hand and arm.  

“Castiel!” Anna was the first one to get to him. He turned to her and sobbed in her arms. The woman looked helplessly over at Gabriel, who seemed stunned speechless for a change. He shrugged.  

“I messed up so badly, Anna. I just--” 

“Cassie, you are not broken, okay?” 

“Bent a bit, maybe...” 

“You’re not helping,” Anna scolded Gabriel. “Be useful and get a first aid kit.” She pulled back to look at her heartbroken brother. “Cassie, you had something horrible happen to you. Dean understands that, and he has from the moment he walked in the door—literally! He wanted to be your friend, Castiel, and you two turned into so much more.”  

“Will you get to your point?”  

Anna rolled her eyes. “Call him. Text him. Zoom him. Whatever you have to do to talk to him.” 

“Alrighty, let’s see our patient.” 

“You are not qualified to be a doctor,” Castiel pointed out to his brother. 

“Do you want the glass out of your arm or not, Don Juan?” Castiel relented and rolled his eyes, holding his arm out to be taken care of. (Gabriel was, in fact, a horrible doctor.) 

After Anna and Gabriel (finally!) left the house, Castiel sat on his bed, staring at his phone. He sighed and picked it up, going to his and Dean’s text thread. 

Castiel: Sam was here. He told me you are in the hospital. 

Dean: This is Sam’s girlfriend Jess. I’m a nurse. I’m not going to pass along your message. 

Castiel: I understand 

Castiel: I’m afraid dinner was awkward. 

It was the same thing he’d told Dean weeks before when he met Kali. He sat and stared at the phone for almost an hour before he started yawning. Castiel lay down, clutching his phone, praying that Dean would respond. 

Two days later, he received a text from Dean. 

Dean: I doubt it could’ve been that bad 

Castiel laughed (a little hysterically). It was the same thing Dean had replied to in the beginning.  

Castiel: Dean, I’m so incredibly sorry. I hope someday you’ll forgive me. 

He wondered if Jess would answer or Dean, or if it was even the man responding in the first place? Castiel ignored the laundry (as if he’d been doing a good job of keeping up with it anyway) and the dishes. He sat on the couch, wrapped in his favorite blanket, and watched documentaries all day. His phone never left his side.  

Castiel fell asleep at some point and only woke up because his phone buzzed in his hand. It was still dark outside, but it was a text from Dean, so he had to read it. 

Dean: I don’t know. 

Castiel: That’s okay.  

Dean: I want to hate you 

Castiel’s heart ached, and his stomach twisted into something greasy and uncomfortable.  

Dean: But I can’t 

What did he mean? He can’t what? He can’t hate Castiel? Was that even possible? Castiel was in the middle of typing his question when Dean texted again. 

Dean: I still love you 

Dean: And I’m an idiot for it 

Castiel couldn’t do anything except stare at his phone screen. Dean still loved him. Would he be willing to give his stupid Alpha another chance? 

Castiel: Dean, I love you, too. I’m the idiot.  

He was surprised when Dean Facetimed him not a minute later. Castiel dropped the phone in his haste to answer. It was his first look at Dean in almost three weeks.  

“Hello, Dean.”  

The Omega looked tired, with dark circles under his eyes. The cut on his forehead didn’t look good. Castiel glanced at the inset picture of himself; unshaven, glasses on, and he had his own dark circles. 

He watched Dean swallow hard and then tried to smile. “Hey, Cas.”  

The two didn’t speak; they only stared. “I’m sorry,” Castiel blurted.  

“Yeah,” he whispered, “you should be.”  

“Dean, I l--” 

“Will you do this again?” Castiel frowned, not understanding Dean’s meaning. “Tell me to leave?”  

The Alpha’s eyes widened. He vigorously shook his head as tears sprang into his eyes. “Never. I’ll...” Castiel licked his lips. He paused and started to speak again, to apologize again, when Dean interrupted. 

“I know things are...different, Cas, but...” The left side of Dean’s mouth twitched in a semblance of a smile. “I want you. I want you like you are. I lo--” 

“Please come over,” Castiel begged. He didn’t care what time it was. He didn’t care that he was exhausted or that Dean looked just as bad as him. “Please.” 

Dean clenched his jaw and glanced away. It took a few moments for the man to answer. “Yeah, okay,” he said, turning back to look at his phone. “Gimme an hour.” He smirked, and Castiel thought he might eventually win Dean’s forgiveness again. “You can time me.” 

Castiel also allowed himself a small smile. “I believe that I will.”  

Dean ended the call, and Castiel continued staring at his dark phone. The man—his Omega—was coming home. He tossed the phone onto the bed and jumped out. He looked down at himself, then sniffed himself. He winced, smelling rejection and depression. Castiel decided that a shower and shave would be prudent and made his way to the bathroom. He had an Omega to win back. 

~~~~~ 

Dean was bored out of his fucking mind by day two of being home. Sam plied him with puzzle books and his favorite movies and snacks...he didn’t want any of them. Bobby wouldn’t let him anywhere near the shop for another four days (at least), and Dean was desperate for his Alpha.  

He spent his days playing along—faking it ‘til he made it and all that jazz—and his nights lying wide awake and wishing Castiel was with him, or rather, he was with Castiel. What he couldn’t get the stupid man to understand was that Dean wanted him regardless of what the other man said.  

He was drinking his good whiskey and eating ice cream from the carton when he got the brilliant idea to call Castiel. Dean was reaching for his phone when the other man beat him to it. 

Cas: I’m afraid dinner was awkward. 

Dinner... Right, it was Thursday. Dinner with Anna and Gabriel. Dean shook his head, wondering what Anna must think of all this—Castiel's decision to push him away, Dean’s struggle with Rejection Sickness. He stewed on it (and Castiel’s sudden text) for the next two days. Finally, he texted his Alpha back.  

Dean: I doubt it could’ve been that bad 

That’s what he said in the beginning, right? The night Castiel was supposed to meet Kali. Would the Alpha remember? 

Cas: Dean, I’m so incredibly sorry. I hope someday you’ll forgive me. 

Dean gasped and choked on his spit. Did he mean it? Was Castiel really apologizing for being such a dumbass?  

Dean: I don’t know. 

Castiel: That’s okay.  

Dean continued typing without thinking. 

Dean: I want to hate you 

A tear slid down Dean’s face.  

Dean: But I can’t 

Dean: I still love you 

Dean: And I’m an idiot for it 

Castiel: Dean, I love you, too. I’m the idiot.  

An hour... Dean could do better than that. He hurried through a shower, threw on the first clothes he saw in the closet, and rushed out of the apartment. He pulled into Castiel’s driveway with fifteen minutes to spare (there wasn’t much traffic at three in the morning). Dean got out of his car quickly and ran to the front door, which was already opening as he approached. He slowed, however, as he reached his destination.  

“Hello, Dean.”  

“Hey, Cas.” 

Castiel slowly stepped aside so that Dean could enter the house. Dean made himself turn around and face his Alpha. He swallowed hard as he registered that the dark circles weren’t exaggerated.  

“I, uh...” Dean trailed off, staring into Castiel’s eyes. His resolve buckled. “Of course I forgive you, Cas,” he whispered.  

They stepped into the hug at the same time. Dean burrowed into Castiel’s neck and inhaled the scent of home. The Alpha did the same. Neither smelled too good despite the showers, but they were desperate to scent and scent mark their mate.  

“I’m sorry, Beloved,” Castiel murmured into Dean’s neck. He placed a kiss just to the side of his Adam’s Apple. “I’m so sorry.” He kissed Dean’s jaw. “I--” 

“Just fucking kiss me, Cas.” 

Castiel pressed his lips gently onto Dean’s, but the Omega wanted more. He raised his hands to hold the other man’s face where he wanted it. Dean nibbled on Castiel’s lower lip until the man opened. The kiss deepened as Castiel pushed Dean back against the wall. They moaned as their bodies bumped together.  

Almost three weeks, Dean thought. He suddenly pulled back. “Two and a half weeks, Cas. You--”  

Castiel cut Dean off with another kiss, this one gentle. “I know. I’m so sorry.”  

“You better be,” Dean muttered against Castiel’s lips. He chased those lips when Castiel pulled away again. Their eyes met, and he could see the love in them. “What?” 

“I’d like to demonstrate how sorry I am, but frankly...I just want to sleep with you.” 

Dean grinned. “That sounds really good.” His cheeks hurt from not using the muscles in such a way for so long. He nuzzled his nose against Castiel’s. “Now?” 

“Yes, please,” Castiel sighed.  

They broke apart, and Castiel took Dean’s hand, leading him upstairs and into the bedroom. The Alpha turned on the nightstand lamp, and Dean noticed the piles of dirty laundry. He looked at Castiel and raised an eyebrow.  

“Maid quit?” 

“I’ve not been in a good place. The laundry was very low on my priority list.” It sounded stiff and defensive, and Dean felt immediate remorse. He began taking his shoes off. 

“Yeah, dishes for me,” he admitted. There were stacks of dirty dishes on the counter and clean dishes in the dishwasher, ready to be put away. But yes, Castiel put it best: he hadn’t been in a good place. 

The other man turned and looked at Dean. “I’m--” 

Dean shook his head and stepped up to Castiel beside the bed. “We’re good, Cas. I forgive you.” His lips twitched. “And I love you, so there’s that.” 

“I love you, too.”  

The men smiled into a kiss that ended with two almost perfectly timed yawns. Chuckling, they got into bed. Dean turned the light off and rolled over to face Castiel. The other man was already turning as well, and they bumped into each other. They rearranged themselves until they were touching nearly everywhere. Dean fell asleep easily for the first time in weeks. 

He woke up to the sound of Castiel’s alarm. Dean grunted and tried to roll over. Castiel was plastered to his back with an arm surprisingly tight around his waist.  

“Stay,” Castiel rumbled in Dean’s ear. 

“Then turn your damn alarm off.” 

Castiel grumbled something under his breath but moved away from Dean long enough to reach over and end the noise. Done, the man resituated himself against Dean’s back.  

“Pretend you didn’t hear it.” 

Dean chuckled and turned in Castiel’s arms. “Hear what?”  

“Exactly. I believe we’ve slept for about two hours. I think we both need more.” 

Dean yawned. “Mm. Yeah, okay.”  

When they woke up next, the sun was high in the sky, and Castiel’s phone was ringing. Dean stretched as Castiel cursed and rolled over.  

“What, Gabriel? No, you woke me up. Yes, I slept.” He looked over at Dean. “I, um, followed Anna’s advice and reached out to Dean.” The man laughed. “Yes, he came over early this morning.” Castiel reached over and linked his fingers with Dean’s and squeezed them gently. “Yes, I am. Goodbye, Gabriel.” He tossed his phone onto the nightstand; it landed with a clatter, waking Dean up further. “Good morning, Dean.” 

Dean smiled and opened his eyes. “Mornin’.”  

“How do you feel about breakfast?” 

Dean pretended to really think about it. “I think breakfast would be good.” He rolled onto his side. “But I think you need to earn it first.” 

“Oh?” Dean began inching up Castiel’s sleep shirt to find skin with his fingertips. “Oh.” The Omega leaned in and began placing teasing kisses on and around Castiel’s lips. Castiel tried to chase Dean’s lips as they moved, and finally, Dean relented and touched their lips together.  

Castiel rolled them over slowly, Dean now lying on his back. He pulled away and sat back on his heels. Dean pouted. “You can fuck me with clothes on, you know.” 

Castiel grinned, and it sent a tingle down Dean’s spine. “Well, seeing as how I don’t plan on ‘fucking’ you, I think my way is more appropriate.”  

Dean rolled his eyes and sat up just as Castiel tossed his shirt to the side. “You’re talkin’ too much and too proper. I ain’t doin’ a very--” Castiel swooped in for a deep and probing kiss. Dean moaned into it and allowed the other man to remove his shirt as well.  

Castiel eased Dean back down to the mattress and swung a leg over the Omega’s waist. He grabbed Dean’s wrists and held them over the man’s head. “Stay?” 

Dean’s lips twitched. “Forever?” Well, technically, it wasn’t supposed to be said, but the lead-in was too good. Dean wanted Castiel forever. He wanted to mate the man, have his pups, grow old-- 

“You want that?” 

The Alpha sounded shocked, and that wouldn’t do. Dean licked his lips and made himself continue. He swallowed hard. “Yeah,” he whispered.  

“And all that it entails?” 

There’s the Alpha I love. Dean smiled genuinely. “Yes, Castiel. And all that it entails.”  

The men stared at each other, one up and one down. Dean was about to say something pithy to lighten the moment when Castiel smiled down at him once again. “Then how about we start with you moving in?”  

Dean tried shifting but couldn’t move his arms. He rolled his eyes as Castiel chuckled and raised his head for a kiss. Castiel met him halfway, helping him relax back onto the mattress. Dean sighed into the kiss, scenting happy Alpha and Omega for the first time in weeks. He laced their fingers and squeezed gently. 

He nodded. “Yeah, I like the sound of that.”  

They made love slowly and tenderly, whispering ‘I love yous’. Dean crested as Castiel locked inside him. He felt the man fill him and arched his back on a groan. Dean came again when Castiel grazed his teeth along the Omega’s mating gland.  

“Someday, Beloved,” Castiel whispered in his ear. Dean nodded. Someday couldn’t come soon enough.  

Chapter Text

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” Dean panted. He was up to his chest in warm water; in the tub he’d insisted on being set up in their bedroom because that’s where he felt the calmest and most settled. “I’m not feeling calm and settled anymore, Cas,” he announced.  

The Alpha (dangerously...for him) chuckled. “I suggested the bathroom since that’s where she was conceived.” 

Dean panted out a chuckle. He was glad the man was able to laugh at the situation. When they had found out eight and a half months ago that the Omega was pregnant, the Alpha had a panic attack.  

“I-I c-can't. I won’t be able to--” 

“Hey, no, look at me,” Dean had commanded. “You are going to be with me no matter what, capisce?” His eyes bored into Castiel’s. They were sitting cross-legged in front of the bathtub, and the men’s heads were turned to face each other, mere inches away.  

Castiel’s eyes had gone wet, so Dean raised his hands to the other man’s cheeks. “Dean, I won’t be able to leave the house wh-when the time comes. And I want the best care for you and...” Castiel trailed off, and Dean’s own eyes watered. He reached over with his free hand (the other held the pregnancy test) and laid it low on Dean’s abdomen. “And our pup.” 

Dean nodded. “And we’ll get it. We’ll figure it out with Jess.” Dean was so happy, and he wanted—needed—Castiel to be happy, too. He tried smiling. “Please be happy, Alpha.” His voice shook, and he hated it, but-- 

Castiel leaned in and kissed Dean hard. He rested their foreheads together and chuckled almost breathlessly. “I couldn’t possibly be happier, Dean.” 

They—along with Jess (Sam’s new mate as of a year and a half ago)--decided on a home water birth. Dean was iffy about the water part at first, but once Jess explained it’d help ease some of the pain he’d feel, he was all for it. (Yes, Sam, I can handle a ‘natural birth’. Fuck you.) Well, however many weeks of pregnancy plus over twenty-four hours of labor, Dean was calling bullshit. He wanted drugs. 

“Yes, you can, Dean! You’re almost there. I can feel the head!” Jess excitedly told him. The woman had been a huge help to Dean during his pregnancy. He could go to her with medical questions that he knew would freak Castiel out, or if he just needed to bitch. She’d become a really good friend to Dean over the past few years, and being his nurse-midwife had only made their Omega bond stronger. “Cas, come here.”  

Dean panted like he was told to earlier when he was between contractions and nodded when Castiel looked at him for permission. The Alpha kissed Dean’s temple and shuffled down the inflatable pool a little closer to the woman. Jess took his wrist and submerged his hand into the water. She guided him between Dean’s spread legs and... 

“I feel it,” Castiel said with a watery chuckle. He looked back at Dean, who had his head back and his eyes closed, still trying to catch his breath.  

Dean chuckled with what little breath he had. Castiel had said the exact same thing the exact same way the first time he’d felt their pup kick.  

They’d been on the couch, watching a movie, with Dean lying on his back and Castiel lying on his side, squished against the back of the couch.  

Ever since Dean had begun to show, the Alpha had his hands on his pup constantly. Dean thought it was cute. (As time passed, however, it became annoying to have to stop a task for Alpha daddy to spout a fact about bees at his belly, rub it, and then walk away). Castiel had his hand resting on the lower part of Dean’s bump. Dean felt it first, the flutter that had just started a few weeks ago that Castiel hadn’t yet been able to feel.  

“Do you have the hiccups? Should you sit up?” Castiel asked, concern obvious in his voice. 

Dean had turned his head towards his mate. “Cas, that was the pup.” Their son or daughter (they didn’t want to know, though Dean was convinced it was a girl) kicked again.  

“I feel it!” 

In the bedroom, Dean shook his head tiredly. “This sucks. I’m done.”  

“C’mon, like three more pushes, okay?” Jess weedled.  

Castiel moved back up to Dean’s head and took his hand, kissing the knuckles. “You’re almost there, Beloved.” Dean shook his head before he winced with another contraction. 

They had definitely started off as indigestion; Dean was sure of it. The spicy Pad Thai he ordered hadn’t settled right, and he was getting uncomfortable with it. Hell, he was pacing the kitchen trying to work it out of his system. 

“Dean? Are you alright?” 

He was literally about to apologize for the gas he was about to pass when his water broke. “Oh shit.” The men looked at each other. 

“How long have you been having contractions?” Castiel asked, shocked.  

“That’s your first question?” Dean rolled his eyes as the other man nodded. “I don’t know! I’ve had indigestion since I ate that Pad Thai.”  

“Wait, since last night or since this morning?” 

“This morning,” Dean gritted out as pain wrapped around his middle and squeezed. Castiel continued to nod along as Dean described the pain he’d been having that day.

“I’m calling Jess.” Castiel grabbed his phone off the counter and pushed a few buttons, bringing the phone to his ear. “You should sit.” He pulled out a stool, and Dean sat carefully. That kicked off the last twenty hours of waiting and breathing through contractions. 

“Okay, Dean, push!” Jess told the man, as he felt like his insides were being pulled out of him.  

Castiel pressed his cheek to Dean’s and murmured words of encouragement. “Did we ever decide on a boy name?” he suddenly asked. Dean barked out a laugh. 

“Relax, Dean,” Jess told him as she resituated herself. As if she could feel the contraction beginning, she shouted, “Okay, one more, my guy!” Dean bore down and squeezed Castiel’s hands tightly. He cried out as he felt immense pressure and then nothing. After only a couple of seconds, he heard Jess announce, “She’s here!” She pulled the small pup out from the water and cradled it. 

Dean’s excitement at hearing that he had a daughter was overridden by his sudden fear. He looked frantically at Castiel and then at Jess. “She’s not crying.” That was bad. The books said that it was bad when a pup didn't cry at birth.  

“It’ll take a moment, remember?” Castiel told him quietly. Dean knew the man was just as worried, thanks to his smell, but also the fact that he was squeezing Dean’s hand back just as hard. 

Dean nodded and tried to catch his breath. Right, Jess had to suction and clear the pup’s airway. As soon as he heard his daughter cry, though, Dean cried, too. The woman shuffled over and placed the pup on his chest. He reached up to hold her as she screamed, very angry that she was no longer warm and comfortable in the womb.  

Jess brought up a couple of blankets and covered the pup with them.  

“She’s here,” Castiel said in awe, breathing heavily against Dean’s temple. “I can’t believe she’s here.” The hand that reached out and cradled his daughter’s head shook. His other hand kneaded Dean’s mating bite/shoulder, trying to relieve some tension and offer comfort.  

Jess sniffled on the other side of the pool and set her phone down. “I was just texting Sam. I know you said no pictures.”  

Dean looked up from his daughter’s scrunched but slightly less irritated face and grinned. “Thank you, Jess.” 

“It was my absolute pleasure.”  

Jess helped Castiel take the pup and clean her up while Dean labored through the afterbirth for a few minutes. When done, she helped the new father into the shower while the other dressed the pup.  

“You don’t have to stay, y’know,” Dean said tiredly as she helped him get settled in bed with Castiel. “We can take care of--” 

“You’re not moving a muscle. I’ll take care of everything—like I told you I would—and then we’ll head out, okay?” 

Dean lay on his side, propped up on his elbow across from Castiel with their daughter in the middle, swaddled in a purple blanket. He sighed exaggeratedly and rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say.” 

“Damn straight. Go, bond, or whatever.” Jess began cleaning up with Dean’s eternal gratitude.  

~~~~~ 

When the woman emerged from the bedroom two hours later, she headed downstairs to Sam. Castiel carefully got out of bed (so as not to wake Dean or the pup) and followed her.  

“Jess,” he called as he jogged down the stairs. She turned with a tired smile (she’d been with them for almost 36 hours while Dean labored and then delivered).  

“Yeah, Cas?” 

The man stopped in front of her and looked over her shoulder at Sam, who had a big smile on his face. “May I hug you, Jess?” 

She nodded and let out a quiet sob. They reached around each other. “That was incredible.” Jess pulled back and took the chance of reaching up to cup his face. “Thank you for letting me be part of it.” She hugged him again before letting go and turning to face Sam. “They’re all set. We need to head out.” 

“Yeah, you got everything?” the other Alpha asked. Jess nodded. “Cas, congrats, man.” Castiel tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. “You good?” 

“I find that I would also like to hug you, Sam.” How...unusual. 

Not long after Castiel and Dean made up, they finally sat down to dinner with Sam and Jess via Zoom. Rather than focus on the awkwardness of the situation, Jess actually spent her time grilling Dean about his concussion a few weeks prior...along with various pranks he’d played on Sam over the years. 

Castiel found himself laughing and enjoying their company. When dinner finally ended, Dean had cornered him in the kitchen. He was putting leftovers in the fridge when the Omega stepped up behind him and tugged on the back of his shirt.  

“You did great, Cas,” Dean said with a big smile as the other man turned around. 

“You think so? I wasn’t too awkward?” Castiel shut the fridge and went into Dean’s arms. “Your brother doesn’t think I’m a ‘weirdo', does he?” 

“Only in the way that little brothers think of their older brother’s partners.” The man pulled back. “You still did a great job, and I’m proud of you.” 

On Christmas, Castiel had felt brave enough to host it at his and Dean’s house—all the siblings and their significant others. It’d be more people than Castiel had ever had physically in his home (on Zoom, yes). He had nightmares for a week leading up to it.  

When the day came, Dean told Castiel over and over that it would be okay to cancel; everyone would understand.  

“No, we’re doing this. I...want to try.” He made it an embarrassing half hour.  

Over time, thanks to Dean and his patience, Castiel had eventually been able to have people in his home for more than an hour (almost two!). Those people were a small group, but it had become one of Castiel’s greatest hurdles, one of his greatest successes. His other had been befriending Sam. After the incident of Sam's visit to punch Castiel, they bonded over their love of books and the environment. Dean joked that Cas was going to have a new best friend. And he did.  

Hugging the other Alpha, however? He’d only touched his immediate family and Dean before Jess (who had surprised him greatly by jumping up and hugging him when they announced Dean was pregnant). But now, Castiel felt an urge to hug Sam.  

“Hey, if you’re cool with it, I’d love to give you one, Cas,” Sam replied eagerly. His brother had just had a pup, and his brother-in-law was standing right in front of him.  

Castiel thought about it for a minute and then nodded. He stepped towards the other man, and Sam took two giant steps to meet him. Being engulfed in Sam’s arms was like being covered by a very warm, very thick blanket that smelled like books and parchment. Castiel slowly raised his arms and hugged Sam back. He quickly ended it, however.  

“Dean’s not going to believe you two just hugged. I wish I had recorded it for posterity,” Jess said, smiling.

The new father nodded eagerly. “Yes.” Castiel looked at both Jess and Sam with tears in his eyes. “Thank you both very much. I--” 

Emotional (and secretly pregnant) herself, Jess pulled the man in for another hug. “Thank you, Cas. You’re the one who made this possible.” 

Castiel laughed as Jess pulled away. “No, I think that was Dean.” His Dean, his Omega, his heart. He walked Sam and Jess to the door and let them out, locking the deadbolts securely (Castiel checked three times to make sure) behind them.  

In truth, he was terrified. From the moment Castiel and Dean found out that the Omega was pregnant, he’d worried. What if there was a complication, and Dean had to go to the hospital without him—again? (He’d never forgive himself for not being at the hospital when Dean was injured.) What if Dean decided to give birth at home? What would they do, who would they see, when--? 

And then Dean found him out, making him talk about his worries and fears. They’d stayed up all night making a birth plan and contingencies. When Dean fell asleep in Castiel’s arms around dawn, the Alpha felt calmer than he had in weeks.  

Months later, new worries had grown and put down roots, and those—even with Dean’s help—were harder to control. With Lily's help, however, he was able to overcome one or two of the barriers.  

Now, Mary Jude Novak was here, in the world her Alpha father was so afraid of. Dean would make an amazing father, of course, able to take their daughter out on a whim or errand. Castiel would not, and therefore, would not be part of the experience, and he refused—refused!--for her to be raised in the house, also afraid of what dangers might or might not lurk outside.  

“Cas?” Dean called out.  

Castiel shook himself out of his budding panic. Dean needed him. Mary needed him. He jogged up the stairs and slowly opened their bedroom door. The room initially smelled of pain and anxiety, but underneath it, growing bolder, was happy Omega.  

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel quietly greeted with a smile.  

“You good? You were gone when I woke up.” Castiel took in the scene before him: his mate, holding their newborn daughter, in their home. He sniffled. “Hey, no, c’mere,” Dean said, holding out a hand. “You're killin’ my endorphin and Percocet buzz, Babe," he said with a grin.  

The men chuckled, and Castiel made his way to the bed. He climbed in on the empty side and took Dean’s hand, scooting closer to the other man.  

“You’re tired.” 

Dean grinned (very tiredly). “Yep.” He raised a hand to brush the backs of his fingers over Castiel’s cheek. “But you’re too wired, and I wanna know why.” 

“You just birthed our pup, Dean, I think ‘wired’--” 

“Spare me, Cas. Under whatever you’re tryin’ to do with your scent, you’re anxious.” Dean smiled up at his mate. “We got through the hard part, right?” 

Castiel reached over and nudged Mary’s blanket aside so that he could see her pink cheeks. He smiled—happily, but sad in a way, too. “You know I’ll always worry, Dean. I’m not going to be the average--” 

“Who says you have to be average?” Dean asked. Castiel was very confused. Castiel had to be better than average. Bad Alpha still played in his head on some nights. Dean didn’t give him a chance to reply. “Cas, we know you’re not gonna be bad at this, okay? Shaky, maybe,” he added with a grin, “but not bad. You’ve read at least fifty books--” 

“Forty-one,” Castiel grumbled. (Number forty-two was open on his desk.)  

“Dude.” The Alpha rolled his eyes, and Dean continued. “You took an online class for Christ’s sake, Cas! Even I didn’t wanna do that. And you did it scared; I know you did. So, no, don’t be average—be scared if you have to. We’re gonna figure it out together no matter what, okay?” 

Castiel gazed lovingly into his mate’s eyes. “I love you. Thank you for understanding.” 

“Always.” Dean leaned over to touch his lips to Castiel’s before burrowing into his neck and passing Mary to her other father. “Now, take a look at this beauty,” he whispered, looking down at the pup.  

Castiel kissed Dean’s forehead before looking down at his daughter. “She is, yes.” He’d do whatever it took to protect and support the little girl in his arms—always.  

***Six Months Later*** 

“You good?” Dean asked for the thirtieth time.  

Castiel took a breath and nodded. He gestured for Dean to open the door since his arms were full (by design, so that he couldn’t slam the doors shut). The other man rolled his eyes but did as was discussed and slowly opened the door to the back deck. Castiel took another deep breath and stepped outside for the first time in over four years.  

The sun was bright on his face, the light making him squint and his eyes water. He felt Dean put sunglasses on his face and slowly opened his eyes. Colors were muted, but they were beautiful in person instead of behind glass. Castiel smiled widely as Dean took the quilt and spread it out. He took the picnic basket from Castiel and set it down by the blanket.  

Dean sat down first and held up a hand for Castiel to take, which he did (and it only shook a little). He sat and leaned into Dean’s shoulder, lacing their fingers together. Dean let the Alpha scent and scent mark him (some fears were innate, primitive) before using his other hand to reach for the basket that held their lunch.  

Neither ate, but that wasn’t the point. The point Castiel wanted to make to himself was that things were possible.  

“Mary would probably like a swing set out here when she’s older,” he commented.  

“Yeah, one day.” 

“Maybe next time, we should bring her out and ask.” 

“Slow your roll, Sunshine. We’ve been outside for like five minutes. Baby steps, okay?” 

Castiel rolled his eyes but knew Dean was right. Baby steps meant a text, then a phone call, then a Zoom, then... Baby steps were just fine.