Chapter Text
“This was the day he first left for that forsaken summer camp,” The blonde zoomed in on the picture on his laptop. The screen displayed a short teen boy clutching tightly his stuffed backpack to his side, annoyance dripping from his mahogany eyes that matched his uneven hair, his shoe being pulled by an amused kid with freckles all over his sunburnt exposed skin. Frizzy golden waves stuck to his forehead covering just the smallest portion of the boy’s shit-eating grin.
“I would actually miss him so much. He only attended like two summers or something, though.”
Tears pricked his eyes as he stared at his brother’s younger version. He had always been moody and stubborn, and William had loved to tease him about it. The photography showed a young Will Solace, blue braces over a bright wide smile. His lips pressed themselves into a thin tight line forming something that resembled something distant from sunny or merry.
He knew that kid was still somehow inside of him, but he also knew an even bigger part of him had drifted along with Michael, leaving a brother-shaped hole permanently in his soul.
“He would always come back extremely depressed and anxious. Dunno, he was never a very cheery guy, but I never liked him going away.” He continued, not paying Nico’s indecipherable gaze much mind.
“After he went away for the first time, something about him changed a lot. We saw each other less after he moved out.”
Surprisingly, he wasn’t having much trouble speaking aloud about his brother in this way, in a wicked sense it almost felt refreshing. “Then he moved out and well,” The young man trailed off with a lazy shrug, his nails finding the back of his neck. “Then, like a year and something before he, erm, left, we got really close again.”
His fingers lingered on the mouse as he zoomed out of his brother’s scowl, afraid to let go of it.
“I.. It was the happiest I had ever been, we had this huge friend group, and we would go out like every week. “ The blue-eyed man said, the corner of his mouth lifting faintly for a few seconds before suddenly closing the laptop.
It was only after a few minutes that he remembered someone else was in the room with him. Self-consciousness crept up on him, an awkward redness spreading over his cheeks and around his neck.
He cleared his throat, hoping that would prevent it from closing itself as he shyly gazed over the other’s direction.
Will felt painfully exposed, a feeling he was quite familiar with, a version of himself that he kept strictly to himself mainly because no one would ever be around to witness his despair And truly, there was no one more consistent in his life.
His back shifted uncomfortably in his chair, his heart picking up a faster and annoying pace inside of his ears.
The blonde mentally shook himself for searching for comfort in a most likely product of his delirious mind. He thanked the coolness of the desk against his warm cheek as he let his face slip from his hands onto its surface, a sour expression on it that no one would ever get to see.
Because that’s what all of this was about, wasn’t it?
He could be alone for as long as he wanted to, only leaving his bed when it was absolutely necessary. The embarrassing number of dirty dishes overflowing his sink and a small portion of his counters -some of them meeting worse fates, like that one time he had been so sick of the smell he had thrown out a nearly new set of pans and pots out the window- wouldn’t go anywhere either. He could let the assignments pile up on his desk and his phone to buzz unattended. Or maybe it wouldn’t.
That was the best part. As long as he kept on ignoring the faint whisper on the back of his head, he could be as depressed as his body would let him, constantly testing its limits as long as no one was around.
Though, most days he would just go on about his normal routine, trying his best to ignore the entity lurking in every corner of his apartment. Sometimes he would talk for what seemed like hours about himself, mainly focusing on his life a few years back before he had become ..this.
Nico in return wouldn’t say much, he just wandered around the rooms around his place, occasionally fusing with the shadows. Will wondered if he actually listened to all that he had to say but decided he wasn’t dying to find out. It didn’t really feel like talking to a real person, so the weight of the words he spoke lied significantly lighter on his back.
The first time he had left the apartment since first encountering Nico, he had been relieved that his abysmal darkness had decided to give him a break, he had enough of his own for the next few lifetimes, thank you very much.
He had faded from his sight as soon as he had placed a foot outside his apartment building, amusingly granting him the first glimpse of privacy in days in the middle of the crowded street. At the same time, he had been kind of disappointed as he was rather curious to find out if other people could see him too or if he was indeed a product of his brain. That last option was very plausible.
The grace in which the ghost would carry himself in circles around Will made every room spin around his eyes. Every time he would talk about his brother, the ghost would avoid his gaze only to focus on a different spot on his face each time, making him feel terrifically seen. And those soft distant breaths that never failed to cause an embarrassing feeling of relief to engulf his core every morning upon listening to it, the rapid beats hammering beneath his chest unrelated to the thought of a dead person breathing. All of that felt unbelievable.
Still, he wasn’t exactly eager to find out.
No matter how intriguing this matter was to William, all of that was from a very distant reality. In the real world, he had more pressing business to care for. Like the sea of eyes that were currently glaring daggers at him.
“Could you,” William gulped as he looked down, alarmed by the groceries already packed inside of his shopping cart. “Try it again?”
The man in front of him gave him an unimpressed expression, his eyes narrowing at him. He let out a superlatively unnecessary sigh, his obscured eyes going blank at him before scanning his card once more.
Please not now, mom, he clenched the fist that was resting on the counter as he scrambled around his mind. This wouldn’t be the first time she would cut him off since Michael’s death.
He opened his eyes after a count of ten, a smirk plastered on his face as he batted his eyelashes at the cashier in a way he hoped wasn’t so shameless. His hand lingered a second too long on the man’s dark skin as he handed him a couple of twenties, keenly aware he was short on cash a few dollars.
He felt pathetic even attempting this, but he really didn’t have anything more on him than the ridiculous trick he was about to pull out of his sleep, clinging on a small sense of hope that it wouldn’t blow up spectacularly in his face.
“I’m sorry,” He spoke in a honeyed voice, stretching his vowels in a way he knew would let the accent he has spent many nights trying to suppress slip out. Without missing a bit, he glanced away strategically before locking eyes with the man once more, a smooth hand running through his light glossy curls. “Silly old me.” Will shrugged and tried for a casual smile, guessing he had failed fantastically.
William’s teeth sunk into his lip, though there was no seductiveness behind it, plain uneasiness running through his body as he pulled at the tender piece of flesh. He unclenched his hand once he received a smirk from the cashier.
*
“God, chill out, dude.” Will panted heavily, placing his hands in an attempt to push the man away from him slightly, but before he could do so he felt the sharp pain of his blonde hair being pulled back, his now exposed throat being ruthlessly attacked by sloppy wet kisses and light nibbles. A croaky moan rolled off his tongue as he grasped at the man’s coarse skin, his blood rushing to his face once more. His fingers made their way to the stranger’s lower back, pulling his hips closer to his own, the friction between their jeans making him squirm.
He felt so... alive.
There wasn’t anything particularly special about this stranger, but it had been way too long since he had done something like this. The thrill of how much of a bad idea hooking up in a janitor’s supply closet made his clothes even tighter as this went on, a thousand different thoughts speeding across his mind, not one of them good or pertinent.
A small sound darting between a giggle and a groan filled the room briefly as the young man’s ebony fingers roamed freely on his lower belly, a thumb feeling gently over his waistband.
His eyes opened slowly as he sensed the situation escalating further. He stared at the ceiling’s fluorescent light for a second before shutting them once more, his mind further away than these four walls.
He was thrown off balance, the room increasing in temperature when a firm palm rubbed against the core of his arousal. When he searched for the bigger man’s eyes, he was met with onyx gems, a faint sickly redness around the pale skin.
An unfamiliar tingle made his back shudder on its entirety, awareness pressing against his ribs. He remained motionless in his place as he gawked at the other’s lustful gaze looming over his body. The flame that had just begun to spark in his insides extinguished by an all too well-known frosty blast.
The skin around his nose brightened and entire body shivered in response, troubled gasps escaping his now harshly dry mouth.
“Nico?” He hurried and rapidly shoved the raven man away, raspy hands pulling out of his jeans.
“Mm?” The man stared at him with that same tired kind of look from earlier. “It’s Carter.”
His wide baby blues travelled ephemerally to the man’s uniform, fixing on the little tag that read his name in messy cursive. He fought the urge to clean the wetness against his neck that had before made him feel excited in discomfort, the lights on the ceiling shining way too brightly over his head.
“Yeah, of course it is.” Will chuckled awkwardly as he pulled his zipper up, the small space between them suddenly not enough. He wiggled awkwardly once more, unable to meet Carter’s confused face as he worked his way to the door of the closet with unexpected difficulty, his shoulders bumping with cleaning supplies.
All excitement had faded from his body as he waved dismissably at the cashier before picking up a pair of plastic bags with groceries, finally exiting the room with an apologetic scowl.
The phantom of Nico’s glance set behind his eyelids before he even made it out of the store.
.
The old lady behind him coughed at him for the second time, irritation set on her paper-thin lips. He obliged his leg to stop tapping the floor rapidly and pulled his nails away from his mouth.
The time he had spent at the line of the ATM was obscene, not as much as the curse word he blurted out when he checked his balance, the old woman behind him vividly disapproving.
His hands clung tightly at the plastic sides of the machine; his forehead pressed against the screen as he continued to stare at the digits in an expectant manner hoping they would suddenly change.
The walk home hadn’t been any better, the harsh winter making him regret even stepping out of bed this morning.
But again, he had needed to get out of that apartment. He couldn’t just spend the whole day trying to figure Nico out and his weirdly enchanting face. He had bigger issues now, for example, the single dollar residing lonely inside of his wallet. He could relate to it.
His mom had played a similar trick a few months back when he wouldn’t meet with her or answer her five daily worried sick calls.
She had been the first person to make him lose all hope on his brother ever coming back and Will had despised her for it for the longest time. He didn’t hate her or anything, after all, the woman had single-handedly raised him and Michael. But his chipper demeanor wasn’t exactly looking forward to some family quality time at the moment, or any future moment for that matter. Naomi Solace was the most mysterious woman he had ever met, so full of secrets. He didn’t need that kind of drama all over his life again.
She was a liar and a coward.
But so was he, could he really get mad at her for it?
He deeply needed to believe that this was his mother’s way of reaching out to him and that for the time being, his mind could occupy itself with more other-worldly business instead of the prospect of looking for a job.
Of course she would do this right now.
Clearly no one had anything better to do that to piss him off. Apparently not even death would allow him to have a normal fucking day
A strong sense of uneasiness formed in the back of his head, his posture straightening in defense. Irritation was already making his teeth sore from clenching his jaw too tight. The frustration from the interrupted business from earlier left him rather shaken from the sudden invasion and, well, he was now pretty damn pent up.
And now he couldn’t even consider going to the gym to get rid of the tension pooling in his shoulders because he had no form of payment. He couldn’t just go about making out with people to get things away for free. Even if the idea of getting rid of this awful sexual frustration sounded shamefully appealing.
He finally made it home just a few hours after the ATM incident after successfully getting his coat soaked through with snow, his mood barely improved after a long walk. He really hated this city and couldn’t wait to go back to Austin after the semester was over, even if it meant dealing with her.
The blonde just wished whatever outburst his mother was going through didn’t affect her generosity to keep covering most of his college life expenses, if he had one anyway.
Only a small fraction of his frustration dissipated from his shoulders as he heavily sighed in between his own hands, the steam from the shower coming to his aid. His fingers traced lightly the sunken and slightly dull skin under his eyes in front of the mirror, fixing specifically on them for a moment before stepping into the hot water after realizing nothing would happen.
For a second, he let his mind wander and the muscles on his back relax as the stream washed away today’s problems. He wondered if Nico would indulge in lewd behaviors as a ghost, like if he ever stared at Will whenever he would shower using ghostly powers or something to disguise himself.
That was highly unlikely given the spirit’s indifferent nature, still he decided he would let the idea amuse him momentarily.
He picked whatever clothes were clean from a colorful pile he had in the corner Nico would usually stand on- since when it had become Nico’s corner?
And more importantly, where was he?
His teeth tugged at his bottom lip for the hundredth time in the day, this time with enough force to draw a metallic taste over his tongue, the sharp pain of it failing to pull him out of his frantic search.
There wasn’t much to look around through, his apartment was really modest. He could pretty much scan everything in his residence from his bed except for the kitchenette. But as it turned out, the ghost hadn’t apparently been in the mood for a late-night snack.
After a few dances around his apartment, he decided he would make the most out of this situation, probably engage in some of his usual daily activities he had given upon for the last week or so.
Alone at last.
He managed half a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes as he threw himself over his mattress, his arms stretching to wrap themselves around his duvet.
It took a couple of annoying minutes to realize his body wasn’t in the mood to drift into the world of hopefully peaceful sleep, obliging his back to roll over to face the popcorn ceiling.
The only sound bouncing from these four grey walls besides his own breathing was the gentle hum of the fridge meeting the air conditioner’s own subtle melody. A particular high-pitched whistle rung inside of his ears. The kind you’re only capable of encountering when there’s nothing surrounding you but a conspicuous quietude. The kind you can only hear when the only light you see is the faint glow of the moon peeking through your curtains, the absence of your brother on the bed next to you even more rattling than the silence that only lasts a second before you call out to your mom, letting her know you were dreaming about drowning again.
It was eerily quiet for the city that never sleeps at 7 o'clock.
“What in tarnation, Willy?” He grimaced at his nearly perfect impression of his mother’s unmistakable southern accent, his voice significantly higher.
The memory came back easily enough; the first time he’d had that nightmare. It had been the first time Michael had been off to some boarding school, the first time he had slept alone.
Will had been seven. And inconsolable. His brother’s hazel eyes had met Naomi’s, his face unreadable to him back then. Now he knew what it had been. He had been afraid and their mother, instead of reassuring them, sent him with a prayer and a much more tearful goodbye than needed for a son she would see again in Thanksgiving.
“It’s all gonna be just fine,” she had said in her usual warm voice, pressing a small kiss on Will’s curls before starting the engine of their old Honda. Although when the blonde spoke the words now to himself, something felt missing.
Probably the bullshit and the lies.
“Because I said so, William. I don’t need to explain myself to you,” she had told him bitterly when he had asked her why she had enrolled Michael in another boarding school after she had promised it was a one-time thing.
“You’ll understand it when you’re older, Will.” He mimicked as he began pacing around his room clutching a pillow, the wood uncomfortable beneath his naked feet.
“Well, I don’t understand, mom!” He blurted out before pausing to take in his reflection on the bathroom mirror, a pillow flew towards it, shortly followed by a loud groan.
Despite the pillow being within grabbing distance, he kicked it away. His hands slid across the length of the white porcelain under his reflection, cool and wet to the touch. He stood there for a moment, focusing on the shadow his fingers cast or the light reflecting on the sink.
All anger evaporated from his body, a new much more disconcerting feeling taking over him as he tried to swallow the lump forming down his throat. He had been too caught up in his frustration to notice a small detail.
The light.
He had turned it off before closing the door after showering.