Archive of Our Own ^beta

Azula raised the dagger. She held it fastidiously, charting a course straight to her stomach. No wind blew. From the outside, the wooden shack looked inert. Not quite. Azula sat on the bed, the sheets stained with blood and remorse. Her arms were covered in slashes that blazed a thousand suns with pain. If nothing else, her implement was well-made. She'd sequestered herself in the bedroom, away from eyes. The blood seeping from the wounds provided an air of finality, reminding her of how close she truly was. Her mind slipped to the dagger. She held it high, held it strong. Her knuckles had gone white from her vise grip. Her heart raced, yet from above the sun setting gave her radiance. A calming presence. Where no one had been, this light beamed. It washed everything in fire, from the vase to the bed. Blood-stained. The dagger commanded her. It stole her thoughts.

Revenge. Zuko will be destroyed. Everyone will be. They will see the monster they've created.

Azula heaved over and over, not ready yet. Maybe she'd never be. Her hands were shaking now. Either right this moment, or never she thought to herself. She took one last breath. Her final fill of life before the dagger mantled her in the dreamless sleep. She closed her eyes.

And...

She opened them again, flipping the dagger and giving herself another horrific slash on her left arm. She threw it to the wall, the handle smashing against the wood. The thud reverberated violently. She threw herself from the bed, to hie outside. She bolted through the corridors, and fell out from the shack onto the grass before her. On her knees, she thanked the spirits that her abode was nowhere near the other peasants in the village. She could scream. On her hands and knees, she could scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

It tore the air. It desecrated the peace she thought she held. Her azure flame flew upwards like a gust of sorrow. The fire kept spewing from her mouth, unyielding. Tears welled in her burning eyes, with their hues of flame. Her mutiny flared outwards. It ended when she needed to catch her breath. She breathed in, breathed out. Each patch of air took effort, crossed her lungs with difficulty. She screamed again.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Another burst of flame. This one ended with a pained cry. She screamed again.

"AAAAHhhh-"

Much shorter, as her anger gave way to pain. She sobbed, stared at the ground crying. Tears streamed down her cheeks, her yelping a pitiable sight. She took her head into her hands.

This is what I am now. I failed. Again and again. I cannot do anything right anymore.

She continued to cry. The bile of depression within her spilled more and more. She didn't care for the blood, the dirt staining her garments. It was all over.

None of it matters if I've failed.

She screamed again. She cried. She fell on her hands, desperate to end the pain.

"Azula!" came a voice, like sweet relief from the hills. Azula's head bolted to the right. There Ty Lee stood, her eyes filled with confusion and sorrow. Her satchel swung over her shoulder, her face expressing true horror. She was garbed in the Kyoshi warrior outfit, but without that ridiculous makeup Azula pretended to hate so much. She stood like a divine spirit. Or a nightmare. Azula couldn't tell. The princess could only make out that she was running towards her now. Ty Lee too threw herself to the ground, and wrapped Azula in her harms as violently as she could.

"Spirits, Zuzu, are you oka-" Then her eyes fell to the gaping wounds on Azula's arms. Her eyes shot wide. "Zuzu... Spirits..." She struggled for words.

"Who did this to you?"

Azula's brow furrowed. Hate envenomed her entire expression. She stood up. She reeled back from Ty Lee.

"Who? You dare ask me who? It's you!" she yelled. "It's every single one of you!" Ty Lee too stood up. Her face enveloped in shock.

"Azula what are you-"

"I was proving all of you right!" she snapped. "That I am the monster! If I am such a monster, you will all get to taste what you've done!" Tears began gathering in the Kyoshi warrior's eyes.

"I've lost so much blood, I might just die!" the princess screamed. "AND MAYBE YOU WILL REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE CREATED!" she cried out. She fell to the ground, sobbing. A moment of silence. Ty Lee attempted to take it all in. This time she approached the girl slowly. She sat on the ground, beside the wilting lily.

"Don't touch me," commanded Azula. Ty Lee hesitated for a moment, then asked:

"You did this to yourself?"

Azula stared at the warrior with pure rage in her eyes.

"You were the ones who banished me," she hissed. Her expression immediately returned to disarray. She continued crying.

"Ty Lee," she yelped. "Please." Ty Lee listened intently.

"Help me."

Ty Lee wrapped Azula's arms, covered in herbal paste. As she tightened the cloth on her arms, Azula shook. She made no sound. They sat in the living room, Ty Lee having confiscated the dagger. Azula felt safe.

"What's the point of living?" Azula asked. She stared at Ty Lee's handiwork on her arm. Ty Lee didn't respond. She moved onto the other arm, covering it in paste. They sat in silence for a while. She wrapped Azula's arm, the princess making a small noise as she tightened the cloth. She looked up at Ty Lee. Ty Lee was situated on a rickety chair, her hands folded together on her lap now that she was done.

"Did you want to die?" she asked.

"Yes," responded Azula. Another silence. Azula lowered her gaze to the floor.

"Do you not hate me?" Azula inquired. "After everything? The boiling rock, the asylum?" she asked. Ty Lee smirked.

"Why would I hate you?"

Azula's gaze snapped immediately to Ty Lee's face. The girl was poised. Her smirk had faded into a warm smile. The room was dimly lit, but Azula could swear that Ty Lee emanated with something.

"I still love you," said Ty Lee. "I didn't come here to hurt you, I came here to visit you." Azula stared at her, wide eyed. Something inside her melted into relief.

"I'll be staying for a while." Ty Lee lifted her hand up, and led it to Azula's cheek. Azula leaned into the touch as the girl caressed her. With a deft move, Ty Lee held Azula's chin and gave her a peck on the lips. Azula froze.

"Still?" she asked. She teetered on the brink of tears. "After everything?"

"Always." Ty Lee leaned in again, deeper this time. Her lips claimed Azula's, as the princess felt a warmth pool within her. Neither eased. They both went deeper and deeper, lips intertwining and tongues dancing. Ty Lee focused on the upper lip, then the lower, giving all of her lover the attention she deserved. She let her tongue roll inside, feeling all of Azula. They eventually parted for breath. Still holding the princess close, Ty Lee whispered:

"I'll always love you."