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The chill froze my body as we stood next to a frozen building. I could feel my body freezing from the cold, and yet it didn’t feel anything.
“Woah, there, calm down-”
‘Don’t change the subject! Y-You can go back in time! Can’t you?’ It stayed silent-
“It, huh? Despite so many loops together, you still think of me like a creature, hm?”
‘Answer, the fucking question! You can-’
“Yes.” Silence for a moment as it admits it’s ability out loud.
I could feel horror in my chest, then anger.
‘Then why! WHY KILL SUSIE! WHY?! YOU COULD’VE-’
“I love him, Kris.” The soul interrupts me. Sounding like it said something meaningful despite it just saying nonsense.
‘Who? Ralsei? What does he have to do with this? What the fuck are you talking-’
“Ok, stop swearing already, it doesn’t make you sound cool.” I simmer down for a moment, very aware now that my words could mean less than nothing to the soul.
I needed to convince it to loop back.
I needed it to bring Susie back. Bring everything back.
So what if I had to play nice for a bit? As long as Susie’s back. As long as it goes back and stops hurting Noelle, I can be nice for a bit.
I could convince it to stop. I have to believe I can do something.
‘What does Ralsei have to do with this?’ I ask again, trying my best to calm down.
“I love him, Kris. Just like you love Susie. Just like you love Noelle.”
‘… What does that have to do with anything-’ Before I can ask again, it mutters something.
“Because… I can’t save him.” Silence fills the air as a cold wind blows by.
‘What?’ I was unsure if it was because I was angry that I truly didn’t understand what it was saying, or if it really was just saying random shit.
Still, I needed to keep calm.
‘What does that have anything to do with you making Noelle freeze Susie?! With you doing all of … this?!’ It snorts. Then laughs.
“Because Kris. You love them. Like I love him.” Anger starts bubbling as it talks in circles, refusing to answer my question.
‘What. Does. That. Have. To. Do. With. ANYTHING?!’
“Okay, okay, stop yelling. Fine, you want to know the reason, Kris? For me doing all this? Fine. Sure. Why not. It’s not like this has ever happened before, why not have some fun?” It doesn’t take me seriously, but I notice the meaning behind it’s words.
So it has looped back here before!
Meaning… It could go back again. It has gone back before. Was it because I convinced it?… Then why come back though?
“I love him, Kris. I love him so much it hurts whenever I go back to the beginning. It hurts me to see him so alone, so tired and so eager for any contact.” I stay quiet, even as I feel impatience begin to bubble up in me.
“So, I hug him. focus on him for you to love him like I do, make you learn more about him. But you don’t like him how I do. You never do… It’s fine though. I take a backseat while you and Susie figure out your stuff. And I wait to get my vessel back so I can love him properly… Then the ending happens.” My heart leaps to my chest as it brings up the finale. Aware of the ending it was talking about.
I could feel my nails digging into my hands as it clenched my fist.
‘To save the worlds there is only one way. A hero must give up their life for the angel to be swayed. Only then will the worlds be saved.’ I recite the final prophecy as the soul nods.
“It always happens the same. You and the knight start the roaring. I go with Susie or Ralsei to stop you. And Ralsei dies. Always throwing himself in-front of the last attack of the knight to save you or Susie or Dess. And as always. You get your soul back. I get banished, and it’s all happily ever after for you, Kris!.” It breathes out. Then laughs.
“So! I try again! I go back! I beg you to stop. To understand! To help save him! But do you listen to me?”
‘… I’m sorry.’
It slaps itself. And I feel the pain that it can not.
-99 HP!
“NO YOU’RE NOT!” It snarls, angry enough that I could feel my body warm up from how fast my heart was pumping.
“You’ve never been sorry. You’ve never cared for him. Why care for an object? Why care for someone who based their whole purpose around making you happy? I could go back to the start. I could go to the beginning of it all! And nothing would change. OoOoO I PrOmIsEd! I HaVe tO- BULLSHIT!”
-20 HP
It punches the wall and I could feel my hand crack.
“…Kris?” Noelle comes back from killing the last darkeners around. Something the soul made her do as an exercise in 'independence'.
I couldn’t help but wonder if it knew this was going to happen.
“Yes, honey?” It paused, then smiled as it spoke, looking at the deer. Speaking in a tone that made my stomach roll.
“I… I’m done.” She doesn’t question why I was injured. Only meekly looking down as she clenches her robes.
“Good girl~ Now, leave me alone for a bit okay? Wait for me at the dark fountain until I finish talking to… Them.” She nods, not understanding, but knowing better than to disobey... I wish I could say I blamed her, but having watched from the start, I only blamed myself for making that stupid promise.
Then she leaves us alone again.
The soul takes a deep breath.
“I think that’s a record for her, y’know. What was that? 10 Minutes? Amazing mage that one. I’m so proud of her.” It muses out loud as it watches Noelle slowly walk away.
‘… Please. Stop hurting her.’ It smiles again as it looks at my body, contemplating something, before speaking again.
“My vessel is rotting in your backyard.” My heart sinks even further at it’s words. Ignoring my plead and bringing up something I thought I hid well enough to never be found.
“I found it when I made a dark fountain there once. It was so surreal to battle it in the dark world with her.” I’d flinch if I had control of my body at the tone it had. It seemed so casual, as if it was reminiscing about the past.
“So, Kris. Let me explain everything to you in case you haven’t gotten it through your thick skull. You took my vessel. You took my soul to use it to bring back your friend. You don’t have the decency to treat me or look at me like a normal person, only a creature whose only purpose is to assist you. You lock me in a cage. You mistreat me when I try to help your friends and don’t do any of this. And you kill my love at the end everytime… and you expect sympathy? You expect me to care about you?”
‘I-’
“I hate you, Kris.” My body shakes as it clenches its fists again. Anger racking throughout it’s body.
“You are my cage. And nothing more. And I hate that I ever helped you. I hate that I ever believed in you. You always get your happy ending. You always get to date Susie and Noelle at the 'good' ending, happily watching while Dess and Carol make up for lost time. While I’m left grieving for the one I love. Why do you get everything you want? Why do I have to be the one unable to save a friend while you revive one from a death she deserved?” They breathe deeply. Then stop shaking.
I could feel a toothy grin appear on my face, satisfaction filling its voice as it speaks again.
“Noelle will kill Dess when the plan goes through, and Carol too. Then, all of hometown will follow suit. In the time it’s covered in darkness, I’ll have Noelle freeze everyone you’ve ever cared about. Toriel. Asgore… Asriel. In the end, I’ll seal every fountain and freeze every titan too. And I’ll be banished. But you? For once, You get to be the one grieving. Sometimes, you kill yourself and apologize to Noelle. other times, you kill Noelle and drown yourself in the lake… It doesn’t matter though. You suffer the same everytime… But I wonder what you’ll do this time? Beg me to rewind? This is the first time I slipped up about my ability after all.”
‘Don’t do this.’ I beg them, and they freeze before laughing as if they heard the funniest joke in the world.
“Oh, man does it feel good being on the other side of this dynamic for once! You never begged me like this before! Always just being like ‘If I have to wait an eternity to kill you, then I will’ or some edgy shit… Man, I kinda get why you ignore me when I talk to you now.” They move forward, going to the dark fountain as they hum an oddly familiar tune.
“But no. It’s too late for apologies. Now? It’s time for you to face the music, Kris. Time for you to suffer, just like you make me suffer everytime I tried to help you.”
‘I’ll kill him if you don’t stop.’ I mutter before being able to stop myself.
The souls steps falter for a moment.
Then they continue, but I could feel their smile strain.
“You always do.”