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If he hadn’t let her brush his hair that first time, she would have never figured out how much he liked it. That was the worst part. Because he hadn’t exactly been in the headspace to tell her ‘no’ at the time, and it had been soothing, but it also seemed to have awoken something in them both. And now that it was awake, there was no putting it back to sleep.
Jax liked to have his hair played with. He liked a nice scratching, too, on his scalp, or a gentle tug on the ends. He liked laying his head on Pomni’s lap while she played Animal Crossing and falling asleep with one of her hands idly stroking his hair and the gentle music of Ribbit’s favorite game washing over him. He even liked it when Pomni brushed his hair and pulled it up into a little ponytail.
And she’d figured it out when she’d brushed his hair for the second time that it wasn’t just something he enjoyed like a normal, regular man. He was into it, like a pathetic little freak. Not that it was hard to figure out, since he couldn’t control the panting or the giant, pathetic boner he’d gotten from all her attempts at being sweet to him after he’d clearly gone through something traumatic. Although the sex had helped take his mind off everything. And after that she’d periodically bring out a hair brush and start brushing his hair.
Granted, he’d never stopped her before. But this seemed to be a step too far.
”I don’t know,” He said, finally.
”Don’t know about what?” Pomni asked, already sitting behind him.
He was seated on the floor of her living room, and Pomni was on the couch, her small legs spread so he could sit back against the couch between them. Her hands were already gently raking through his long blond hair. It felt great, because it always felt great, and even though he was unsure, he wasn’t stopping her just yet. Lazy, sweeping tendrils of soft tingles ran over him, making him relax despite himself. And when she was sure he had no big knots, she started gently scratching his scalp with each new stroke of his hair, making his breath come out in short little gasps. God, she was getting good at this.
He limply nudged the jar of cute hair clips in front of him. The glass jar was cute itself: clear with dark red hearts painted around the entire thing. The glass lid was red with a heart on top, too, to match. But it was the the contents that were what he was really concerned with. Inside was an array of cutesy, childish hair clips. They were all pastel, and they mostly had big plastic bits on them: stars, bears, bunnies, whatever. All girly bullshit. And Pomni had produced this cursed jar and told him they were going in his hair today. He didn’t even know where his masculine-leaning girlfriend would even get hairclips like this. And the jar was unlike anything he’d ever seen her buy so the entire thing was one big mystery to him.
“Putting those in my hair,” He managed, but only barely. Both of her hands were in his hair, rubbing his scalp, dragging down through it, draping it over her slim thighs.
”If we don’t like it, we don’t have to do it again. But you might like it if I put clips in your hair. And if you like it, we can go buy brown ones or something. I’m just borrowing these so we don’t have to waste ten dollars on stuff neither of us want, okay?”
”Sure but—“
”Jax, I’m the only person who’s going to see. It’s not like I’m going to clip them in your hair and take you out like that.”
Luckily she tugged on his hair just then, so the gasp that left his mouth could be attributed to that. Instead of what had actually caused it, which was the idea of being out in public with stupid girl clips in his hair. Damn, he was a way bigger freak than he’d ever thought he was.
“Okay, hand me one.”
”Which one?” He asked, taking the lid off the jar. Neither of them mentioned that he’d suddenly changed his mind.
”Just pick one, I don’t care.”
Jax didn’t like that. She ran a brush through his hair and started to tie it up into a ponytail, gently tugging as she did so. His mouth watered and he thrust his hand into the jar, grabbing blindly. When he pulled his hand back out, he was holding a little pink clip with a heart on the end, a tiny lace bow peeking out around it. He scowled and started to put it back in the jar, but Pomni patted his shoulder.
”Come on, give it over.”
After a moment he decided it would be weirder if he didn’t just hand it over, so he did, reaching behind him to press it to her waiting palm. Pomni didn’t mention how girly it was, she just clipped it into his hair. It felt heavy, gently pulling on the blond strands, making him suddenly acutely aware of just where it was on his head. And the weight of it reminded him how cute it was, and his brain supplied an image of himself with it on. He hastily redirected his thoughts to the design on her coasters (different Office Suite symbols, no doubt a gift from a coworker) in an effort not to get hard immediately. Okay, so, yeah, Pomni was right. He definitely needed to keep going to therapy.
”Another one,” Pomni said, voice a little husky now. Her voice always got a little deeper when she was enjoying herself. Well, up until she was really enjoying herself. Then she was all sharp.
Jax shoved his hand into the jar without complaint and tugged another one free. This clip was just a bow. Pink and white gingham. Before he could try to put it back, face flushed when he realized that having matching clips would make it look like he was trying to pick cute ones that went together, she plucked it from his fingers. She made a noise in her throat when she saw it, and to his horror, the rush of embarrassment went right to his dick.
Of course he was into that, too.
“Cute,” Pomni said, low and breathy, as if she hadn’t meant to say it out loud.
Jax moaned.
They both froze. One of her hands was still holding his little ponytail, the other frozen with her fingertips pressed to his skull. Both of his hands were gripping the coffee table now as he willed his dick to remain as flaccid as possible. Not a chance was he getting hard right off the bat. He had better stamina now! He could withstand a little hair play!
“Wow,” Pomni said, and she got that saccharine tone that one might use when talking to a dog, “You look so cute, Jax. Give me that one with the strawberry on it.”
”No,” Jax said, and she clicked her tongue. That was new.
“Don’t misbehave now, Jax.”
”Shit,” He said, and bent over, pulling his hair free of her hand as he did so, moaning helplessly when she didn’t ease her grip on his hair, so as he moved forward, her hand tugged mercilessly at his ponytail. He pressed his face into his hands and panted, hard, as his cock stirred to life in his pants. Well, there went the whole ‘not hard immediately’ goal.
“Strawberry. Please. Be a good boy for me, Jax, don’t…um…make me…punish you?”
Jax snorted and turned his face so he could peer back at her. Her cool confidence was replaced with a kind of nervous expression, and she looked a tiny bit sheepish. But then her eyes caught the damned clips in his hair and her cheeks flushed a little. Oh, so she did think he was cute like this. She hadn’t been teasing him. That was even better, actually. That meant she’d probably insist on doing this again. He’d have no choice but to comply. He usually did whatever she asked him to do. Even if he might complain about it.
Jax tugged the hairclip from its prison and held it out to her, frowning still. Pomni smiled at him and gave his cheek a pinch. And then she grabbed his ponytail and yanked him back, so he was pulled away from the coffee table and his back hit the couch between her legs. He whimpered a little, and if he hadn’t been fully hard before, he was now. Her eyes scanned his expression and then darted down between his crossed legs. His pajama pants certainly didn’t hide anything, and were quite obviously tented, and now she knew he liked this. Which she already knew, of course, that’s why they were doing it. But still.
Pomni clipped the new clip beside the other two and let out a little dreamy sigh.
”Perfect. Okay, now that pink bow.”
”What? No,” Jax said, and she tugged his ponytail again. He let out another little cry and this time his cock jumped, tugging his pajama pants with it, and Pomni kissed his temple.
”Come on, pretty Jaxy, hand me the bow.”
Jax whined again, a soft little noise in the very back of his throat, as he throbbed between his legs. Oh, god, she was going to ruin him entirely. His hand wrapped around the wrist of the hand holding his hair and her other hand reached under his head to gently scratch at the base of his skull, her nails digging between the strands of his hair to reach his scalp. He moaned softly, and adjusted his legs to try to hide a little of his desperation from her. Which was pointless, obviously she’d seen it. But it made him feel a little less anxious.
Jax’s other hand fumbled on the table until he felt the gauzy lace of the bow, and then he thrust it back at her.
”Good boy,” She mumbled, low in his ear, and he groaned helplessly. She pressed on, “You’re so good for me, aren’t you? You impress me every day. My pretty Jaxy boy, so good and well-behaved. I bet we can make you even prettier.”
His mind flooded with images as his breathing went ragged and his cock leaked between his legs. Maybe she’d put him in those thigh-high socks he’d seen around online. Or maybe she’d paint his nails. His fingernails so anyone could see. Maybe she’d put him in a dress and then make him lift the skirt so she could get access to his cock that way. Or maybe she would want him to have earrings. He could get his ears pierced. That was easy. Plenty of guys had ear piercings nowadays. That wouldn’t be weird. Then at home she could put little bows or hearts in his ears and—
”Oh, you like that?” Pomni asked, gently, “Okay, well, next time, okay? I didn’t know.”
”Yeah, you and me both,” Jax grumbled.
Pomni laughed softly, “Come on, it’s not that bad. We’re having fun, aren’t we?”
”I guess.”’
“Jax, if you’re not enjoying this you have to tell me. I know you like to sulk during.”
”I do not,” Jax said, wounded.
She didn’t respond to him. Instead, there was a pause while she stroked his hair and held his head back so she could kiss his throat.
”You like this, don’t you?” Pomni asked, and tugged the ponytail she was holding. He made a noise in his throat and she smiled against his cheek, tugging it again, a little harder. “My pretty boy.”
”Fuck, woah, hold on—“ Jax said, hands coming up to grab at the fingers in his hair.
”Pull your cock out for me,” She mumbled, kissing by his ear.
Jax wanted to say ‘no’ for a split second, just so she’d yank his hair some more. But he was pretty sure she didn’t want to fight him today, and he was pretty sure if she kept yanking on his hair like this he was going to come. She’d love that, of course, but he had to stop letting her do that to him. One, it was embarrassing. And two, she liked it so much that every time she managed to do it she seemed to redouble her efforts in finding new ways to torture him— er, make him come hands free.
After another little yank and her repeating her command, gently, warmly, low and husky in his ear, he tugged his pants down. He pushed his boxers to the side and pulled his dick out, holding it only for a moment before he let go so she could see what she’d done to him. His face flushed red as she hummed approvingly in his ear.
”Very pretty,” She mumbled, sounding just a touch unsure.
His cock throbbed and twitched and, as if to drive him to shame faster, leaked a new glob of precum just for her. He moaned softly, and the hand in his hair shifted, tightened, until his hair was held taut, and he was breathing in sharp, rasping breaths, eyes closed. She nuzzled his cheek and then kissed his temple again, cooing softly against him.
”Hey Jax,” Pomni said, after a moment, stroking his hair idly with the other hand, “There’s a ribbon at the bottom of that jar.”
”Uh huh,” Jax said, body kind of numb now that he was so overwhelmed. The soft, radiating pleasure of being pet mixed with the sharper, hotter burning from having his hair yanked, and all of that blended with the leaking cock between his legs to give him a sort of haze. It felt good, he loved it, he wanted more. But it made him stupid, and he couldn’t guess why she wanted a ribbon.
So he handed it to her, and she smiled again, kissing him once more with a soft, “Good boy.”
Jax moaned helplessly as she adjusted, letting go of his hair entirely now. Her small chest pressed into his shoulders, and then she slid down his back, until her chin dug painfully into his shoulder so her dainty hands could wrap around his dick. He jolted, moaned, and thrusted up into her hands without meaning to do any of it at all. Pomni clicked her tongue.
”Sit still.”
He did as he was told. Mostly, usually. Sometimes he acted out. Like right now, as soon as she gently wrapped the ribbon around his cock he groaned and tried to pull away.
”Jax.”
”What are you doing?” He asked, swallowing hard.
”Making you prettier. Sit still! I’m bad at this.”
”Nah you’re okay.”
”Har har. Not at handjobs. Sit still. Or you can use your hand and then take yourself to bed.”
Jax forced himself to sit still, even though his cock twitched as she gently fixed the pink, gauzy ribbon around it. She tied it in a loose knot and then adjusted it. It wasn’t exactly beautiful, she hadn’t been kidding when she said she wasn’t good at it, but boy, did it get under his skin. He stared down at it wide-eyed, and she gently rubbed her thumb over the head of his cock, forcing out a keening, desperate sound from his throat.
“Look at how pretty you are, Jax.”
”Fuck,” He breathed, and she pulled her hand off his cock slowly, so his precum stretched between her hand and his dick in a loose string. Halfway to his mouth the string broke and then she pressed her fingers to his lips.
Jax moaned, again, letting her gently push them inside of his mouth. His precum tasted salty on his tongue, but definitely less so than it had even six months ago. Pomni had insisted they start eating better at some point, and his new balanced diet (balanced was kind of a strong word; he had like, one fruit a day and most days he had a steamed vegetable) had made him taste less awful. Her fingers rubbed over his tongue, and he moaned desperately around them. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought he’d let a lady do this to him.
And yet here he was, bow on his cock, tasting his own cum, Pomni’s soft, hot breathing rubbing over the side of his head. At least she always seemed to enjoy it as much as he did.
”There you go, good boy, clean me up,” Pomni said softly, “Ooh, Jax, good boy.”
He tried to talk a little but she had to remove her fingers for that, and so she slowly pulled them free, pausing and asking him quietly to suck them clean for her. Happily he did so, mind in a haze, eager to please. And when she was satisfied, she pulled them out of his mouth and wiped them dry on his own shirt.
“Okay, you’re doing great. Now lift your arms.”
Jax obeyed, and she laughed softly against him, telling him he was good, making his body go limp and warm at all the soft, gentle, real affection she was showering him with. It was getting easier to come down from this feeling, too. Last time he hadn’t even sulked in the bathroom for twenty minutes before letting her comfort him. Bless her, she was so patient. He still didn’t really understand how he’d gotten so lucky in finding her, especially as the longer they were together the more it became crystal clear that she could do much better. Pomni gently tugged his shirt up, careful around the hairclips in his hair, and tossed it to the side.
Her small hands, hot to the touch, gently stroked his chest, sliding over his soft, thin frame, down over his bare stomach, until one hand could loosely fist around his cock, pumping it lazily, tantalizingly, as if it was an after thought. Jax’s dick throbbed uselessly and he fought the urge to help her out. If he touched himself now, she’d ask him to finish himself off for her. And he wanted her to touch him.
”Pomni,” He breathed.
”Can you last if I put you in me?”
”No,” He admitted, gritting his teeth.
”Ooh, I bet. Look at you, all pent up. I bet you’re on the very edge, aren’t you?” Her hand hadn’t let up, so every word felt like torture as his cock jumped in her light hold.
”Pompom,” He breathed.
”Can you come for me?” She asked softly, teeth brushing over his neck.
He cried out when she sunk her teeth into him, and her other hand gave his hair a sudden, hard yank. He hadn’t even noticed her slowly easing her hand into his hair, honestly, all of his attention had been on her mouth grazing the side of his neck and the hand light around his dick. But when she pulled his hair, she tightened her grip on his cock and gave it a few good, solid strokes. Pulled in two directions, he moaned helplessly.
“So close,” Pomni mumbled, “Try again.”
”Wha—“ He started, dazed and confused.
But then the hand on his cock tightened and stroked him, picking a quick and brutal rhythm that made colors spark in front of his eyes as he gaped, head pulled back by the hand in his hair. His legs shifted around with no purpose and his hands grabbed at her wrists, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was garbled, useless sounds. And drool, which was embarrassing and new.
“There you go, come nice and pretty for me. Look at how beautiful you are. Good boy, Jax, you can come.”
”Fuck,” He managed to bite out, and then a horrible rush of pleasure blotted out everything for a moment and he came with a whimpering moan, dick jerking as he pumped out his load, leaking over the top of her fist and streaking down the back of her hand. Pomni stroked him through it, cooing softly in his ear empty, useless words of praise that made his mind stay in the warm haze of post-orgasm bliss.
Pomni’s mouth turned to kissing him, soft, sweet kisses that sparked electric against his skin, shooting through him, making his cock twitch as she gently coaxed everything out of him. She wiped her hand on his pants and nuzzled his neck.
”Feel good?”
”Mmm, uh huh,” He mumbled, leaning back into her, so she had to press against him to keep sitting upright.
After a moment he turned around, not bothering to try to fix his appearance. The bow was limp and soggy from his cum, and it hung sadly under him, still attached, now that he was on his knees and facing her. But her eyes didn’t even glance down, they were trained on his face. Her own face was flushed and her eyes were dark with heat. God, she was pretty. Her dark hair had come halfway out of the sloppy ponytail she’d thrown it up in, because it was too fine and silky to stay unless she was really serious about it. And so now she looked messy and undone in the way he liked her.
Which was all the time.
He liked her all the time. He thought he might even love her, actually. He was pretty sure that if she wouldn’t flip out, he’d tell her she was the only thing keeping him on this stupid fucking planet. He might even admit he kind of wanted to marry her. He’d even sign a fucking prenup, so his shitty life wouldn’t drag her down when she wised up and dumped him. He just wanted her all the time.
They’d only been together for a little over a year and a half. But he was still just as crazy about her as she was about him, seemingly. Since they spent most of their time together now. She’d even slept a few nights at his place, although she hadn’t much cared for his cold concrete floors or his lack of natural light. She did, however, like his very comfortable mattress. To the point that she’d jokingly asked him to move in and bring it with him. But they spent most of their time at her place, which was much warmer.
He slid up between her legs and pressed into her space, his sleepy smile met by her own. Pomni cupped his cheeks and looked over his hair, seemingly pleased with herself.
”Hi there, pretty boy.”
”Hi there, Pompom.”
”So?”
”So?” He echoed, confused.
”Did you like the hair clips? The bow?”
”Yeah,” he admitted, cheeks blazing red, “I like when you brush my hair.”
”I know,” Pomni laughed, “Why do you think I do it for you?”
”Mm, because you’re down bad for a guy with beautiful blond tresses?”
”That goes without saying,” Pomni teased.
“You could say it anyway,” Jax grinned, and she laughed and kissed his mouth, a ghost of a kiss that he eagerly pressed into, pinning her against the back of the couch. “Tell me, Pomni, how much you looooveeee me.”
”Mm,” Pomni smiled at him, cocking her head to the side, “Why do you want to hear it so bad?”
Jax shoved his face into the nape of her neck and gave her a little nibble, preening when she gasped and shoved at his face lightly.
”No marking me up,” She warned.
”Yeah, yeah,” He mumbled.
She didn’t want bruises showing at work. Which was fine, he understood. But as much as he liked seeing signs of her on his body, he liked seeing signs of him on hers, too. So he left hickeys on her thighs or on her breasts instead. When she took her clothes off the next day he always felt especially pleased with himself. His Pomni, all marked up, and not minding at all…as long as it was under her clothes.
The oversized shirt she wore to bed was easy enough to tug up, and he quickly dropped down to sink his teeth into her stomach instead, biting just hard enough to get her to complain and swat playfully at his head.
“You’re a jackass,” She said.
”I’m your jackass,” He grinned, popping out from under her shirt to tease her.
”I guess that’s true,” Pomni said, face softening a little. “How long until you can go again?”
”Yeesh, you’ll wear a guy out, you know that? You’re insatiable.”
”Am I? Or are you just not up to the task?”
“Pfft,” He rolled his eyes. If he didn’t know her better, that might have stung. But they both knew her sex drive was kind of out of control. They’d talked about it before, and then again when they’d watched some documentary about lions. But now he got an idea and he grinned, “Why don’t you come sit on my face if you’re so worked up?”
If she sat on his face, she could yank on his hair as she grinded against his mouth. That was probably his second favorite position, because he could kind of bliss out. Not think about anything. Just watch his girl enjoy herself. And that’s all he wanted to do, really.
“How about,” Pomni said, winding a strand of his hair around her finger. That got his attention, and he sat, staring at her, waiting for her directions. “When you get hard again you press me down onto the bed on my stomach and fuck me nice and deep while you cover my back in bite marks?”
Jax blinked a few times and then said, in a kind of small voice, “What? For real?”
”Yeah. If my shirts cover it, I don’t care what marks you leave. You know that.”
”But you’ve never asked for it. Damn, who are you? Where’s my girlfriend?”
”Oh, so you don’t want to? Too bad,” Pomni sighed and started to act like she was going to stand up and leave him all alone with only that mental image for company. Which was way unfair.
Jax dug his arms under her knees and grabbed her legs, pinning her down to the couch. Both of his hands inched up to shove her shirt up so he could kiss her stomach again. She laughed and complained but didn’t try to pull away this time. He didn’t know why she was suddenly into the idea of being marked up, but he wasn’t going to complain. It would remind them both that they belonged to each other.
“Take me to bed?” Pomni asked, nudging her knee against him.
After making sure he could actually stand he climbed to his feet, scooping her up with him. Her ankles locked around his waist and her arms wrapped around his neck as his hands cupped her ass so he wouldn’t drop her on the floor or something. He’d nearly forgotten about the sad bow except every step had his cock bouncing with it still tied to him, so it flopped wetly and made him cringe a little. His pants were still pushed down around his upper thighs, too, but he wasn’t concerned with that so long as he didn’t trip. And if he kind of waddled instead of walked, they stayed up okay enough that tripping wasn’t a big concern.
Pomni’s nails gently scratched the back of his neck as she kissed his mouth and then his cheek, mumbling soft little words of praise. Definitely to get his dick hard again faster, but hey, he couldn’t get mad at her for playing the game. Bless her, even, he was pretty sure it wouldn’t take too long with this kind of encouragement. When they got to her room she reached up with one hand to tug her hair tie from her hair and as they passed her dresser she tossed it on top.
He laid her gingerly on her bed and leaned back to see her hair fanned around her face, her eyes soft and sweet, her mouth inviting, her hands resting on his arms that fenced her in. Her big pajama shirt was bunched up, exposing her stomach and the underside of her breasts, and the men’s boxers she wore were a touch too big, so she had to pin them in place. He reached back and took one of her ankles in his hand to tug it playfully, and she smiled at him.
”You know,” He said, “If you didn’t insist on stealing things, you might have clothes that actually fit you.”
”But then how will I remember that your favorite game is Call of Duty if I don’t have your big shirt with the logo on it?”
“I’m gonna steal them back one of these days, you know that.”
”Go ahead,” Pomni beamed, "You'll always come back. Presumably dressed. So I’ll always have a steady supply.”
”At least wear something less cringey.”
”Sorry, I can’t. My boyfriend has really bad taste.”
”Not that bad. He chose you.”
”Ooh, Jax! Aren’t you sentimental today. Is it our anniversary and nobody told me?”
Jax rolled his eyes, amused and embarrassed. He didn’t think he was being particularly sentimental at all. But maybe he was. He’d been getting too soft lately. He hadn’t had a single argument with Gangle or Zooble in two months.
”Hey, can I ask you something?”
”Oh, that’s always a great sign,”Jax grumbled.
”Why haven’t you moved?” Pomni saw his confused, closed off look and quickly continued, “You make okay money. You save a lot every month. But you live in the worst apartment ever. And we’ve been together for like a year and a half-ish and I think I’ve only stayed over like four times.”
”Three.”
”Okay, well, that’s my point though. Why not move somewhere better?”
Jax blinked and then said, slowly, “I didn’t think about it.”
”You’ve never thought about moving?”
“No,” Jax said firmly. A little too firmly.
Pomni cocked her head, eyes reading too much into his expression. The only real downside to dating her was that she was ridiculously perceptive and usually caught onto his bullshit faster than anyone he’d ever met. Ribbit would be best friends with her, he knew it. They’d weasel out every secret he’d ever had between the two of them, the devils. But right now he needed her to not pick up on the fact that he had remained in his apartment for one simple reason: he was hoping that when he finally moved out, they’d move in together.
Which was stupid, because he knew she valued her space. Outside of the clothes she stole from him he still had to pack a bag to come over, because she didn’t offer him any space in her closet or dresser, and he didn’t know how to ask. They spent most of their nights together, but once in a while she didn’t ask him over or said ‘no’ when he asked her. So she seemed to really need alone time, at least once in a while, to destress. And he knew that he was, while a lot better now, still pretty volatile. He sulked, he closed himself off from the world, he snapped at her and the others once in a while. He wasn’t throwing stuff or laying on the floor and wanting to die anymore, but once in a while…
He understood, anyway, that the time for moving in together was simply not yet. Maybe not ever, since he didn’t know if Pomni was the type to ‘settle down’. She didn’t even seem to be the type to ‘date seriously’ or apply labels, if Ragatha’s genuine shock at being told he was her boyfriend had meant anything. Although it could be her stupid, useless crush on Pomni that had sent her into shocked silence, more than the label thing.
”Where would I move to?” He heard himself saying as he screamed internally to shut up, “I’d have to find a place and apply and it’s a whole mess. I’d still be living alone so why bother?”
”Oh, so you’d move somewhere if you didn’t live alone?” Pomni asked, mouth twisting into an amused and naughty smile. He was going to kill her. Or himself, really, since he knew better than to engage with her pointed questions and he still did it.
With stupid girl ribbons in his hair and around his dick. Great.
”Uh, I didn’t say that.”
”You said it wouldn’t be worth it to be living alone.”
”Sure,” He said, feeling the sick, uneasy feeling that usually came before he ran away from something. His hands were shaking a little and her eyes darted down to where he was holding her ankle before meeting his face again.
”Hey, what’s that?” She asked, sitting up to look behind him.
Jax turned, curious, and she lightly kicked him in his hip with her other foot, making him stumble. Annoyed, he turned back to glare at her and she was grinning back.
”Made you look.”
”Oh, you’re dead,” He growled playfully, and lunged for her as she twisted around, laughing, to try to climb over the bed and hop off the other side.
But he was too fast, and he scooped her around her waist and pulled her under him, flattening her to the bed with a soft ‘oof’. Pillows scattered and the blankets all bunched up around them as she struggled and he fought her, and then finally they ended up with her securely imprisoned underneath him, all of his limbs around her like a cage. She laughed breathlessly against his throat and he kissed her head, hard, a few times before he growled again and shoved his face against hers.
”You thought you’d get away? From me? With your tiny little limbs? Ha!”
Pomni laughed again and squirmed under him, her hands securely pinned to her sides so she couldn’t do anything funny like tickle him. Because she was an absolute fucking menace when she got all goofy and silly on him like this and she absolutely would play dirty.
“Maybe we should tie you up,” He said, “If you can’t behave for ten minutes.”
”Do you want to?”
Jax couldn’t have heard her right. They’d never tied her up. He barely even ever got to be in charge in any capacity, actually, she pretty much led the charge in bed. Not that he minded, he really didn’t know what he was doing and she was good at it so why fix what wasn’t broken? Absolutely had nothing to do with the fact that he liked being taken care of and tugged around and told what to do, no way. Even if he had found himself wondering about stupid shit like what size dog collar would work for him.
”Huh? What?” He said, baffled.
”You can tie me up if you want to. I don’t mind,” Pomni said calmly, as if she had any right to be calm after blowing up his understanding of how things ‘worked’ for them.
She led the way. What the hell was he going to do in charge? Did he even know what to do with her when she was tied up? Well maybe if he tied her hands up over her head he could at least enjoy her tits without her getting her hands in the way or trying to distract him into doing something else. He could really take his time and get a really good, long taste of them.
“Oh, you like that?” Pomni said, suddenly, and he blinked, trying to figure out how she knew, only to flush a little when one of her hands, still pinned, managed to brush over the head of his cock. Right, he was still hanging out of his pants like an idiot, and he was getting hard again.
“You’re a demon, Pomni.”
”Mmm,” Pomni hummed, pleased, “So you did like that idea! I have some cuffs—“
”Side table, yeah, I know.”
”Good boy. Go get them, come on.”
Jax slid to the edge of the bed, leaving her where he’d pinned her, and she sat up on her elbows to watch him, smiling a little as he untied the ribbon from his cock and tucked himself away before he tugged open her nightstand drawer. Pomni crawled up behind him as he was digging through the drawer and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, leaning onto his back with her whole body. They were lucky she was so light, or he might have just collapsed and sent them both tumbling over the side of the bed. He leaned his head back so the sides of his head brushed against hers and she kissed his temple, winding her fingers in his hair.
”What’s taking so long?” She teased.
”Someone’s not letting me get them.”
”Who would do something like that?”
”It’s a mystery,” He said, rolling his eyes good naturedly. She laughed in his ear, soft and breathy, and his cock twitched. He didn’t know if she knew how much of everything he did was driven by her, specifically. Not any hot chick could laugh in his ear and get his cock to jump and his mind to wander.
It was a Pomni special. Which was…probably cute. Although his gauge on what was cute or not was mostly ‘would Ribbit tease him mercilessly about it’? If so, it was cute. And he’d hated being cute. Until Pomni. Now when she said ‘cute’ and pressed a kiss to his head he was sitting at her heels like some lovesick puppy dog. Which was…humiliating. Or it would be, anyway, if she wasn’t so into it. As it was, it was horrifying in a hot way.
It was a weird feeling.
”Come on, I’ll even lay back and wait for you.”
She slid off his back, her shirt catching and her chest rubbing down along his spine as she did so. He shuddered as his mind’s eye filled with images of her (his) shirt riding up, exposing stomach and the sweet underside of her small (and perfect) breasts. He fumbled with the drawer and shoved a bunch of necessities to the side to pull out the handcuffs. They were thick leather with a little belt on each cuff that secured them in place. So far they’d used them all of once, and he’d kind of totally panicked and pulled the plug. Something about not being able to get free had freaked him out at the time.
Recently he’d been feeling a touch more secure in his relationship with her and thought he could finally handle getting that vulnerable, but he didn’t know how to ask. So maybe this was getting his foot in the door with this. Okay, fine, he could do this! How scary could it be? He’d nuzzle her tits and eat her out and then he’d definitely be ready to go again, and she could get what she clearly wanted: dick.
Yeah. Easy.
He moved back over to where she laid near her headboard, the kind with perfectly spaced slats that showed the color of the wall behind them. He was pretty sure she specifically picked it for sex, but he hadn’t asked, because she’d had it when he’d started seeing her and as lame as it was, he wasn’t super into hearing her talk about her previous exploits. He straddled her stomach so he could wrap the cuff around one of her wrists.
”It’s okay,” Pomni said, gentle and warm. Her big eyes looked up at him as he shakily tried to secure the belt so the cuff would stay in place. “We don’t have to try this if you don’t want to.”
”I want to,” Jax said, annoyed, “Just give me a second, damn.”
Pomni rolled her eyes but her mouth was still quirked up into a smile. Thank god she found some of his snappiness attractive, or something, cause otherwise they wouldn’t have lasted this long. They were rapidly approaching being together for two years, too, and he wasn’t sure what to do about that. It felt like something big should happen between them, but he didn’t know what. As he thought and panicked over the ever-changing nature of any kind of human connection, he managed to finish up one of the cuffs. Pomni’s wrist flexed and twisted and then she nodded.
”That’s good. Now loop it through the headboard,” Pomni said, and he followed her instructions as she lifted her free wrist up over her head so he could slip the other cuff around it. “You’re doing great. I wouldn’t have known this was your first time.”
”Who says it is?” He asked, without thinking, totally on auto pilot due to being focused on what his fingers were doing.
Pomni snorted, “Ooh, okay. Sure. Mister Experienced over here.”
”There,” He preened, having not heard her at all, “Try that.”
Pomni gently tugged her wrists down and they caught against her headboard, the metal connecting the two cuffs making a soft creaking sound as it strained. She gave him a thumbs up and he perked right up, beaming down at her.
”Good work, Jax.”
But of course now that she was under him and tied up, he was getting kind of nervous. He was okay in bed, he knew that. Mostly because if he wasn’t at least passable she would have sat him down and told him point-blank at some point or another. And she hadn’t. In fact, she kind of jumped him more often than not. So he was okay, at the very least. He’d actually say he was ‘good’ in bed but he didn’t want to risk her teasing him and asking who told him that, because his mild, fragile ego would shatter.
And having sex required some ego, or he would be a simpering idiot. So better to protect his a little bit or he really would be bad. He sat back so his ass was on her hips and tugged her shirt up. Pomni looked surprised but only for a moment before she smiled at him, clearly amused.
”Oh, I see.”
”Whaat?” He laughed, looking down his nose at her big cocky smile taking up too much of his face, “You look so hot, let me help you out, Pompom. Get a little breeze against your skin.”
”Yeah, sure. That’s what we’re doing right now.”
His shirt was huge on her and it pulled up easily, revealing the smooth, pale expanse of her torso before the swell of her breasts appeared at the shirt’s hem. The fabric brushed over her, making her shiver a little as her skin goosebumped, even when he didn’t do anything more. It was, to put it frankly, extremely hot. Especially when he pulled it up further and the fabric caught on her hard nipples. Jax must have looked quite taken with her, because she shifted under him and his eyes darted up to her amused, soft face.
”Go ahead,” She said, good naturedly.
”God, I love you,” Jax said, not thinking, and bent over, burying his face in her chest.
Pomni let out a little noise of surprise, but didn’t complain, and he opened his mouth so his breath and lips could brush over her tits. First one, then the other, as if to be sure they were both still there, and then he playfully nipped at them until she did complain, a soft, annoyed ‘careful’. And with a smile he stopped, before kissing where he’d left a little pink mark on her skin, and then he took her nipple into his mouth and rolled it with his tongue against his teeth.
“Hey!” Pomni said, and she shifted under him again.
Jax smiled, catching her nipple between his teeth, and looked up at her. Pomni was glaring back down at him, but her cheeks were a pretty shade of pink and she was already looking a little less in-control than she had been, so he felt her ‘hey’ was more of an exclamation than a request to stop. He winked at her and she let out a little, unladylike, snort. But she didn’t follow up with any further requests to stop, so he went back to playing with her.
It wasn’t that she didn’t let him play with her breasts usually, because she did. She was a really good sport about it, actually, considering she said she didn’t get much out of it. But she never let him just suck on them and rub his face between them. Not that he’d asked, of course. She let him do a lot of stuff if he asked. But asking for some time with her breasts felt inherently selfish, because he knew she didn’t love it, and as a general rule he tried to be as unselfish as possible.
With Pomni specifically, at least. Everyone else could fuck right off.
And only so she’d keep letting him crawl into bed with her. So really even his one act of being unselfish was kind of selfish at its core. As he sucked on one of her breasts he played with the other, kneading the soft flesh and pinching and rolling her nipple between his thumb and finger. And when he was done sucking on one breast, he switched to the other, so both of them got plenty of attention not only from his mouth, but from his hand, too, and she didn’t complain even once about how long he took to savor her. He didn’t know what he’d done to earn such a treat, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth here.
But eventually the guilt gnawed at him enough that he knew he had to switch it up, for her sake, and he pressed her breasts together to rub his face between them one last time before he kissed down her stomach, hands dragging down her sides to hook into her (his) boxers and tug them off her body. They slid easily, and he realized belatedly that she must have shaved her legs before he’d come over. One of his hands rubbed up her smooth calf and she laughed a little.
”I was wondering if you’d notice.”
”Just for me? You spoil me.”
”Pfft, oh please! It’s for me. I washed the sheets,” Pomni said.
”Right, right. You’re a little freak and like the feeling of fresh sheets on your legs. I remember.”
She did this thing where she’d climb in bed and swish her legs around a bit, marveling at the sensation of fresh sheets on newly shaved legs before she curled up against him. It was very cute, but also probably the strangest behavior he’d seen from a woman.
“But if you benefit, too,” Pomni continued, rubbing her other leg against his side, “I don’t mind.”
Jax laughed and she smiled back and for a moment he kind of thought maybe he’d prefer to just hold her for a bit. But then her leg came up and squeezed his side and he glanced down, just to catch the view of her glistening pussy. Already wet and ready for him. Ah, hell. They could cuddle after.
He slid down her body, leaving open mouthed kisses along her stomach and then below her bellybutton, before he finally laid on his stomach and grabbed her thighs up in his hands. Pomni made a breathy little sound as he lifted them over his shoulders, his breath hot on her slick cunt. Her ankles caught together behind his head and he smiled, kissing her thigh before giving it a quick little nip. And then he buried his face into her pussy and got to work.
Pomni had never been particularly hard to get off, which is why he couldn’t understand what other dudes were doing, but she was especially vocal when she couldn’t bite down on her fingers or cover her mouth with her hands. Well, especially vocal for Pomni, who tended to be much quieter in bed than he was (which was embarrassing). But she was most vocal when he was eating her out, and tonight was no exception. Her little gasps and harsh breaths and low moans were only amplified, and he wondered if it really was just that she couldn’t stifle anything, or if maybe she was more into this than he’d originally assumed.
The clips in his hair kept catching on her thighs, tugging on his hair, as he worked his tongue against her clit. It might have been annoying, except it reminded him that he’d left his hair ‘pretty’ for her, and the thought of that went right to his dick, so by the time she came with a soft cry, her hips rocking to meet his tongue, he was rock hard again. Which was good, because clearly this whole thing would be a wash if she didn’t get dicked down. While tied up.
“Jax,” She said breathily, legs a little weak when he gently pried them apart.
He climbed up between her spread thighs, wiping his face with his hand and then comically licking it clean, making sounds as if he was enjoying something especially delicious. Pomni laughed and smacked her knee into his side again and he grinned back and fell forward, so his clothed hips rocked against her bare pussy, and his hands boxed her in. Not bothered by his sudden proximity, or his wet face, she leaned up to press her lips to his, eyes fluttering shut as she did so. He kissed her back, a nice little chaste thing.
Which gave him enough time to tug his pants down and—
“Fuck,” He groaned. “Condom. Hold on.”
Pomni laughed again when he rolled back over, fumbling with her bedside table once more. And then she watched as he (expertly) slid a condom down over his cock. Which he’d learned to do sometime in the nearly-two-years he’d been Pomni’s boyfriend. But that he rarely got to do, because she tended to like to do it for him. He was pretty sure it was some kind of power play, because she liked playing with him when she did it and seeing him get all riled up. Because Pomni wasn’t a woman, at all, she was a demon in woman skin, or something. Which surprisingly worked really, really well for him.
”Very nice,” She said, amused, and he grinned down at her before lining himself up against her entrance.
“Ready?”
She nodded and wrapped her legs around his hips, earning her a flash of a grin from him. And then he was shoving into her. She was slick and hot and welcoming, swallowing up his entire length with no resistance at all. Which meant she really was into brushing his hair and tying bows around his cock. That was kind of a relief, actually. If they were both into it, it felt less shameful than if she was simply humoring him. He’d have to bring that up in therapy or something. If he ever got the nerve to talk about his sex life with his therapist, anyway.
She let out a little gasp when he finally filled her up, and he rested there just for a moment so she could shift under him and adjust to the feeling. And when he was sure she was good to go he pulled out of her before he slammed back into her, one harsh movement to make her let out a little cry and shoot him a glare.
”Are you trying to break me?”
”Maaaybe,” He grinned.
But he didn’t want to actually piss her off, and he gave her a kiss on her cheek to show her no hard feelings. He found a suitable pace, one that he could keep up fairly well, and his mouth trailed down the side of her neck, leaving soft, little kisses before he finally adjusted their position. Jax leaned back and held one of her thighs with one hand so he wouldn’t lose leverage as he bent down to be able to suck on her nipples as he fucked her. Pomni made a noise of mild complaint at that, but he didn’t exactly care at the moment. He dropped her leg so he could grope her, too, kneading her breasts, kissing and sucking on them, and when he peeked with one eye, he was pretty sure he was leaving his mark all over her chest.
He grunted as the mental image of Pomni’s tits covered in hickeys shot through him and landed in his cock, and she moaned softly, shifting her leg, wrapping it around his waist. He quirked a brow. They were at kind of a weird angle, and he wasn’t sure if she’d like it that much, but it seemed she was more into this angle than she had been when he’d been more on top of her. Well, great, now they both got to win.
The room filled with the soft sounds of Pomni’s little moans, the slick sound of their bodies coupling, and the sloppy, moist sounds of his sucking and kissing on her breasts. And not once did his girl complain. What a champ. Her breathing was getting kind of raspy and hard, which it sometimes did when she was approaching a particularly strong orgasm, and he wasn’t one to spoil her fun, so he kept up his pace and enjoyed her tits for the little while longer that he’d have access to them.
After a few moments her legs clamped down around him as her pussy squeezed around his cock, all of her getting really tight and tense under him before everything released at once. Pomni tossed her head and strained against the restraints as she moaned aloud, body trembling a little as it went limp, sagging into the bed. Jax sucked one of her nipples into his mouth and kept going, rocking into her with soft, steady, wet smacks as she came down from her orgasm.
And despite how relaxed and clearly ‘done’ she was, he just…kept going. She did it to him enough that he thought this was probably fine. Pomni shifted under him, as if to signal that she wanted up, but her body was already responding to the continued stimulation. Her breaths came out in strained, hot gasps and she squirmed under him as he moved his mouth from the nipple he’d been favoring to the other. She cried out, a soft thing that surprised them both, making her light pink cheeks flush deep red and her eyes fluttered open before closing again, as if she couldn’t bear to look at him.
The leg that wasn’t pinned under his waist flailed about, trying to get her out of her predicament, and he kept going, enjoying the show as her face scrunched up and she strained against her cuffs. Her teeth worried her bottom lip and she let out a sharp little cry again, brow furrowed, her hips moving to meet his with a rolling motion that was driving him a bit nuts. Jax bit down on her nipple, earning him a yelp and a glare that lasted, maybe, a moment, before she was twisting under him again.
”Jax—“
”You wanted me in charge,” He said, voice a hoarse whisper, “So I’m in charge.”
”Oh,” She said, but it came out more of a sharp gasp than a word.
The hand that wasn’t propping him up dropped between them and rubbed sloppily at her clit and Pomni made a little squeal of a sound that startled him enough that he hesitated for a breath before he realized it had been a good sound and then he redoubled his efforts, his own orgasm rapidly approaching as she squeezed around him and squirmed under him and made the prettiest sounds he’d ever heard come out of her mouth. His pace picked up, even as his hips stuttered and his body ached from the weird angle, and then she was arching off the bed, shoving her breasts into his face as she clamped down on him and let out a harsh, desperate, breathless little cry, and then they were crashing down together, her shaking under him as he grabbed her hip and held her against him as he came inside of her, balls deep.
Their breathing was ragged as he fell on top of her, still buried in her as his cock finished emptying what little remained in his balls. He kissed her sleepily, lazily, and she kissed him back before she shook her wrists.
”Let me out?”
”Mhm,” He hummed, still kissing her as his hand moved up to tug at the belt on her wrist restraint. It came undone under his fingers and she pulled her wrist free, cupping his cheek. He smiled against her mouth and she smiled back, their lips still brushing against each other. He peeked an eye open and found she was looking at him already, gaze warm with affection. He freed her other hand and she cupped his cheeks, kissing him properly, her eyes closing again to savor it.
Her fingers danced along his skin as her hands slid down around the back his neck. She played with the end of his ponytail and sighed against him, pulling back a little to look up at him with big eyes.
”I love you, too.”
”Huh?” He said, color draining from his face.
”Well, that’s what you said, right?”
”What? No.” He tried to pull back more, but her hands were locked around his neck so he couldn’t move much farther away. And then he realized, with horror, that he had, in fact, told his girlfriend of nearly two years that he loved her. For the very first time.
While they were doing the highly romantic act of fucking.
”Shit,” He said.
”Yeah, I kind of figured you didn’t mean to,” She said, a smile on her lips, “You’re too stubborn to just tell me.”
”I’m not stubborn,” Jax snapped, cheeks flushing and feeling a tug in his gut that made him want to lash out and run and hide. As if suddenly his year of therapy had simply not happened or didn’t matter. He added, testily, “I’m a realist.”
”A realist?” Pomni’s brow furrowed and he wanted to yell at her, suddenly. Anything, anything to not be this vulnerable with her. Naked. Wrapped up in each other. Showing emotion. God. Kill him.
Jax turned his face and glared at the wall, heart beating rapidly in his chest as he struggled with the anger at having emotions that he had to constantly cope with. And so what if she knew? They’d been dating forever. Who cared if she knew he loved her?
But then she had to know, right? That life with him was simply not what she deserved? That she was smart, and funny, and pretty, and fun to be with. That she could do way, way better than he’d ever, ever be? Even now that he was trying, even now with therapy, even now that he loved her and didn’t want to die anymore and showered daily and cleaned his house, even with all of that, he wasn’t ever going to be worth anything. He couldn’t get a better job. He still lived in his sad basement apartment. He still played video games and didn’t do much else.
“Hey, Jax? Do you want to tell me about what you’re thinking..?”
”No,” He said, and tried to pull away again. Pomni sighed, one of her hands cupping his cheek, her thumb rubbing against him affectionately. He flinched at the contact.
”If I let you go, are you going to run?”
Jax hesitated and finally admitted, very miserably, “Yes.”
”Jax,” Pomni sighed, “Just tell me what’s wrong.”
”Are you teasing me?” He asked, the words breaking from his mouth before his head could stop his heart from making this worse, “About—what you said.”
”What?” Pomni laughed, incredulous, “You can’t be serious. Jax, you’re so— of course I love you. We’ve been dating for a long time.”
”Yeah,” He said, frowning.
”Honestly, if I didn’t love you I don’t know how I’d put up with this,” She teased lightly, “You’re so moody.”
He peeked at her out of the corner of his eye and realized he had two paths before him: he could calm down and kiss his very patient and cool girlfriend, or he could bail and ruin everything and mope for the rest of the night. And the latter was easier, of course.
It was always easier to ruin things. It was always easier to close himself off and not let her in and run and hide and be alone. Always. The siren call of just destroying everything had never stopped, and sometimes he still slipped up, even now. Because it was so hard to be even the tiny fraction of the man she deserved. But after a minute of silence he sighed and chose the harder path, yet again, just for her.
”Sorry.”
”Hey,” Pomni said, suddenly serious, “Do you want to…”
She trailed off, thoughtful, and he narrowed his eyes, turning to look at her. She was looking off into the distance, calculating, and then her eyes snapped back to his and she smiled.
”Watch something with me?”
”What? Why?”
”It’ll be a nice way to relax before bed. You’re staying over, right?”
”Yeah?”
”Okay, so, do you want to? I have a few movies, oh, you know, I recently got a new one from the drug store.”
”You bought a movie at the drug store?”
”Yeah they have a DVD display in the front. What?”
”God, you’re just so old,” Jax grinned at her as she gave him an annoyed, offended look before she tugged his hair a little harder, so he grit his teeth and pulled out of her. So they could get dressed properly to cuddle on the couch, of course. Not because sometimes she liked to push his poor body to its absolute limit.
”I’m not that old. I just don’t like paying for a bunch of streaming services. I had a few during lockdown but— Stop that.”
He’d been grinning at her as if she was cute and silly, because she was, and she clearly didn’t find it to be as funny as he did, because she started trying to shove him off of her. He laughed as she shimmied out from under him and she rolled her eyes when he grabbed her around her waist, yanking her back down against him, burying his face in the nape of her neck and mussing up her already messy hair.
”Whaaat? What am I doing, Pompom?”
”You’re trying to get a rise out of me and I’m not interested.”
”Yeah, you have shit taste in men.”
Pomni grinned over her shoulder at him, her cranky pretense dropping, “I don’t think I do, though. Not all the time, anyway.”
Jax’s shit-eating grin faded and his eyes got all stupid and glassy on him. She patted his hand and he let her go, and she twisted around so they were facing each other.
”My life’s better with you in it. I hope you know that.”
Jax tried to look away but she caught his face in her hands and kissed him, softly, holding him still as he tried to breathe evenly and deeply. But despite his best efforts it came in shaky and went out trembling.
”Can you pop some popcorn for me?”
”What?”
”For the show. I’m going to go clean up. Popcorns in the cupboard next to the microwave. Okay, be right back!”
And without another thought she let him go and climbed off her bed, making her merry way to the bathroom. He blinked after her and then slowly rolled over to sit on the side of her bed, staring at the closed blinds of her window.
Maybe she was telling the truth. Maybe her life was better because he was in it. Maybe she didn’t mind all of his shortcomings because she was just happy he was there, like he was happy she was there. Maybe she really did feel a happy rush from seeing his name on her phone screen like he felt when he saw hers. Maybe the background photo that was him, annoyed, reaching for the camera was because she liked that he had a little bite to him, as opposed to something to make fun of him for or to remind him that no matter how much therapy he’d had, he still got testy. Maybe she loved him, and that’s all she cared about, because being with him would always be better than being without.
”Nah,” He said, shrugging, and he stood up, stretching.
No way. His luck was never that good. Absolutely no way.