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Published:
2016-11-11
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1,031
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1/1
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Morning’s Suck

Summary:

Just a little missing scene from the middle of (Dis)Members Only

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Barely functioning after a day of real work followed by a night playing Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys with Hale, only to come home and try to get a few hours sleep with ear plugs and ear muffs, the last thing Kenzi wanted to wake up to was a succubus and a werewolf dry humping against the counter in front of the coffee machine.  "Okay, for serious, I just vurped.  Move it along, already."

 

At least Bo had the decency to move herself, and Dyson, to the other side of the room.  God, did he even need to breathe?

 

Four scoops for good measure.  Water.  Power.  Percolation.

 

The knowledge that coffee was moments away gave Kenzi the ability to face the disgustingly high-school-sweethearty make out sesh.  "So, like, I have to be at the club in an hour.  Can you please stop eating each others faces long enough to have a conversation with me?"

 

Giggling, Bo disentangled herself enough to turn around, though Dyson refused to let her go, his arms snaking across collarbone and hips, face buried in her hair. 

 

"What can we do for you, Kenz?"

 

Arching a brow at the 'we', Kenzi decided to change her game plan.  Two strikes against her at the Country Club didn't seem like such a big deal while standing in her own kitchen watching the Love Boat sail past.  The coffee was ready and she needed to prepare her line of questioning for when Dyson finally left.  Unless he was staying for breakfast . . .

 

Finding her favourite giant mug-bowl dirty in the sink, fresh pink milk remnants and two spoons, sparked the suspicion even harder.

 

"Mmm-hmm.  Don't you have, like, some stuff to do or something before you have me serve your lucky ass lunch?"  Not the most subtle she had ever been, even with Dyson.

 

Seeming to notice Kenzi for the first time, Dyson unfolded himself from around Bo, standing straight but keeping his hands in place.  Looking Kenzi in the eye, he winked.  "I do want an actual shower."  Using his height to lean around, Dyson kissed Bo soundly one last time and let her go, sliding out from between her body and the counter.  "I'll pick you up after ten.  I'll make our reservation for eleven."

 

Both human and fae waited for the wolf to leave before speaking.  They opened their mouths at the same time, though like usual - at least where speech was concerned - Kenzi's tongue was faster.  "What the hell is all the honeymoon bullshit about?"  Maybe a little harsh, but Kenzi had never been a fan of morning in general.

 

Smiling to herself, Bo moved right up against Kenzi's side, linking arms and sighing.  "Okay, so apparently in nouveau riche high society, 'Whiskey Tasting' is code for 'Giant Swinger Orgy'."

 

Feeling her eyes bugging out of her head, Kenzi dropped her sunglasses down.  "And how did that go?"  Trying desperately to keep the smirk out of her voice, she poured Bo a cup of coffee.

 

"Mmm, not so well.  I was totally in, but Dyson was most definitely not.  Which made us look like complete assholes for crashing the party, then splitting just when it started getting good."  Taking a sip of coffee, Kenzi couldn't help but notice how Bo's smile had changed when she looked back.  "But then we got back here, and Dyson, I mean he-"

 

"He made you cum eleven times, I know."  Pouring cereal, Kenzi felt a shallow, vindictive little flash of satisfaction as she finished the milk before Bo had fixed her second cup of coffee.

 

Laughing, Bo threw a playful little hip-check Kenzi's way, which would have sloshed milk all over Kenzi's only work shirt, if not for said lady's cat-like reflexes.  "Well, thirteen actually, but I mean before that.  When we left the club, we were both pissed, me at him for dragging me out of the best party ever, and I thought he was pissed at the general situation.  But no, we get home and I'm like 'Thanks a lot, I could have closed the case!', and he's all, 'Maybe there's a less sleazy way to get information'."

 

Totally hanging on every word at this point despite herself, Kenz winced in sympathy.  "He called you sleazy?  So how did that turn into me needing ear plugs and ear muffs all night long?  Wait, eww, I just answered my own question.  You perv."

 

Dimples flashing, Bo hugged Kenzi tight for a moment.  "Actually, no.  I got rather indignant, thank you very much, and made him explain that comment.  And suddenly he's like, 'I don't want to share you, Bo.  I don't want anyone else's hands on your body.  I don't want anyone's mouth on yours.  And I know you don't want to hear this.'"  Her impersonation was eerily perfect.

 

Shaking her head, puzzled, Kenzi said, "Are you kidding me?  Mister-I-can-bang-whoever-I-want-in-the-back-of-the-Dall?  Well, I guess it makes sense, with the whole Dr. Hotpants reaction and - I'll shut up now."

 

"So anyway, then I'm all 'Why wouldn't I want to hear that?' and he's like, 'You're a succubus, duh'.  Then I made a fantastic touche, if I do say so myself, along the lines of 'I don't see you chewing bones and playing fetch all day'."  Pausing to make sure the high five being thrown her way connected, Bo continued.  "So then I said 'I'm fighting my nature, for you,' and he gets down on his knees in front of me and starts giving me this intense speech about all his irritating muleheadedness and shit, then it ends with, 'but I'm also yours,' like he'd just figured it out.  And that is why you needed ear plugs and ear muffs all night long."

 

"Two days ago he's all 'that's too relationshippy,' and last night he lurvs you?  That boy is gonna give you whiplash if you don't look out, girl."  Kissing Bo on the temple, Kenzi disengaged the impromptu cuddle puddle and vacated the premisses with one last dig, "Gotta catch the sharty bus to work now, but I'll always lurv you no matter what.  Peace."  And she was gone.

 

Bo leaned against the counter, pulling her robe tighter, still smiling to herself.

Notes:

I wrote this years ago, before season two of Lost Girl even aired, but I still like it.