CancerCadaver
Fandoms
Recent works
-
i keep thinking surely somebody will save me (at every turn i learn that no one will) by CancerCadaver
Fandoms: Psych (TV 2006)
08 Mar 2026
Tags
Summary
His eyes stumbled upon a name in his contacts that made him pause.
Lassie ;)
He’d forgotten when he’d added that winking emoticon to Lassie’s name. It must’ve been a while ago. It was some old safety measure so that he would always be able to call Lassie in the case that he got kidnapped again and he could convince his captor to let him call a partner. It worked once with Juliet, but Lassie was more headstrong in cases like those.
On paper, Lassie seemed like the perfect person to call. Shawn was certain that he didn’t care about him enough to lecture him or to try and give him some form of sympathy, and that he would be able to swindle Lassie into getting a ride home.
--
(or, after a bad case, shawn falls back on some old, self destructive habits, involving a pushy creep and a little too much alcohol, so he calls lassie to save him. lassie comes, of course.)
-
how to unblock your psychic chakra's and score free pineapple smoothies (a beginners guide) by CancerCadaver
Fandoms: Psych (TV 2006)
28 Feb 2026
Tags
Summary
He also, somewhat, wanted to distract himself. From all of it. From the crowd of people all muttering around him, from the friction of his clothes rubbing against him as he moved, from the stupid bright lights that wouldn’t stop buzzing. All of it was rubbing him the wrong way, making him feel as though he was going to lose it. All of this stupid stuff shouldn’t have been bothering him, it almost never did. But now it was, and he felt as though he was about to throw up. Or break down. Or cry. Or, D, all of the above.
One thing became crystal clear to him. If he didn’t get out of that room immediately, something bad was going to happen.
-
(or, shawn gets overstimulated and doesnt really know how to handle it. luckily, lassie does.)
-
Tags
Summary
In the last roughly 24 hours, Theadore Spankoffski's life had gone through more changes than he ever could have anticipated. He'd started from a gross, pitiful man who lived a lonely, isolated life, not even being able to get the company of another desperate, lonely person at a wedding. Then, he'd become an outlaw, reckless and carefree in a time so far beyond his own that everyone had been left in the rear-view mirror. When he'd come back to 2004, he'd become hopeful that he could finally undo the mistake that he had once made that had thrown his life away and turned him into the unrecognizable mess that he now was.
And now? Now, he was sitting in an office chair, the warm morning light beaming onto his face, praying that his final hope to fix his horrifying mistake would work out. It would work out, right? After all, he was the Time Bastard. The Casanova of Coven Communication Research and Power. He and only he had the ability to save Jenny, just as he had doomed her. And he would.
(or, the one where instead of having his mind broken by tinky, ted runs away from his problems.)
Series
- Part 7 of cancer writes hatchetfield
-
Tags
Summary
Ted Spankoffski was not scared of thunder.
Well, okay. Who liked thunder, really? He’d never met anyone who would label themselves a fan of thunder. Nobody liked it. He just disliked it… more than some people.
(or, the one where ted is scared of thunder, and paul helps him)
Series
- Part 6 of cancer writes hatchetfield
-
closet case (featuring, two openly queer men) by CancerCadaver
Fandoms: Hatchetfield Series - Team StarKid
06 Jul 2025
Tags
Summary
“No, and–” Paul twisted the door knob twice, which made no effort to budge. “And it wasn’t supposed to close.”
“Why the fuck not?” Ted tried his best not to sound too worried about the prospects of a locked door. “You have the key, right?”
“Okay, okay, um, well–” Paul took a deep breath in. “No?”
“No?” Ted repeated. “Are you asking me or telling me? Because I’m pretty sure I don’t like either of those answers.”
---
ted and paul get trapped in a closet. homosexuality ensues.
Series
- Part 5 of cancer writes hatchetfield
Recent series
-
- Words:
- 19,138
- Works:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 1
Recent bookmarks
-
Important Things Are Worth Protecting by heartbroken_by_boundaries
Fandoms: Psych (TV 2006)
30 Jan 2026
Tags
Summary
Protecting a world-famous singer should be the perfect career opportunity for Carlton.
Unfortunately, the singer in question is the most insufferable woman on the planet… or so he’s heard. Perhaps that’s why she’s been receiving death threats in the first place. Then there’s the puzzling question of why she’s so happy to be pictured in her underwear.
Right when Carlton thought the assignment couldn’t get any worse, the Chief forces him to work with Spencer, the last person he wants to spend time with (allegedly). Carlton’s dream job is officially turning into a nightmare.
But a few days together in a safe house might make Carlton reflect on how there’s often more to people than meets the eye. Why would a singer be so good with a shovel? And why is Spencer being so… nice?
At least everything should go back to normal once the concert is over and their protection detail finishes. Surely nothing could happen inside a few days that would be truly life changing.
Bookmarked by CancerCadaver
20 Feb 2026
-
Tags
Summary
He’s so close. But Buck’s face sways even closer, eyes laser-focused on Eddie’s mouth, like he wants to ensure that what he whispers next make its way inside:
“The quiet, closeted catastrophe of Edmundo Diaz—performed nightly for an audience of none.”
Eddie flinches like the words hit skin. For a second, all the noise in his head goes silent, leaving gaping awareness and the awful, naked feeling of being seen.
“W-what—” Eddie’s voice cracks and he’s trying to frown, trying to be mad, but he feels exposed, so his words come out broken, quiet and confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
or: buck fights back during the kitchen scene in 8x17 and it sends eddie spiralling
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,521
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 234
- Kudos:
- 5,323
- Bookmarks:
- 1,224
- Hits:
- 60,039
Bookmarked by CancerCadaver
20 Aug 2025
-
Tags
Summary
Buck, 27
FirefighterWhat made me apply for Love is Blind? Uh, well, it's been a couple of months since my last serious relationship ended. Which was also my first serious relationship. But I feel like I'm ready for a real commitment. That, and one of my coworkers made me apply, so if this all goes wrong, blame Chimney.
Eddie, 28
FirefighterMy sisters actually applied for me. They said it wouldn't be like other dating shows, that's its meant to be like a science experiment. My wife- sorry, my ex-wife, still getting used to it, divorced me fairly recently. I want to get back in the dating pool, but it's hard when you're a single dad. I'd like to find a real connection, and somehow this seems preferable to having my tía set me up on dates with her friends’ daughters.
***
Buck and Eddie meet on Love is Blind, and find themselves more drawn to each other than the women they're supposed to be falling in love with.Bookmarked by CancerCadaver
20 Jun 2025
-
Tags
Summary
He's heard a lot of people say they don't know exactly when their problem started.
They say it was a lot of things- a lot of situations and moments and thoughts that somehow came together, that grew little by little, that ended up exploding before they could realize they had a problem.
Buck knows the exact moment when it all started. He remembers it clearly- and sometimes he feels guilty about it, because he made a choice, he told himself he was going to do it and he tried really damn hard to stick to his word. It's like he wanted it.
Like he craved it.
The problem starts again when he moves in with Eddie.
or, buck struggles with food and his body. it's not new.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,965
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 25
- Kudos:
- 829
- Bookmarks:
- 209
- Hits:
- 12,406
Bookmarked by CancerCadaver
04 Jun 2025
-
Tags
Summary
He knows he could have called Maddie and she would have been there, though the memory of her disappointment last time stopped him. As for everyone else—even if he weren’t prohibited from talking to them by his lawyer, Buck doubts anyone would have come. The last time they talked was when they ran into each other in the grocery store a week back, and, since Buck is not eager for a repeat of that interaction, he doesn’t even consider calling anyone in to hold his hand for what is, he tells himself, probably just another little blip on his road back to the 118.
He is able to convince himself of this up until the moment Dr. Gutierrez walks into his room and says, “Well, Evan, you just can’t seem to do anything the easy way, can you?”
Because, as it turns out, there is a circumstance under which a tiny clot that doesn’t cause you to vomit blood in front of all of your friends and family is worse than three big ones that do: that circumstance is called ‘being on blood thinners.’
***
In the midst of the lawsuit, Buck is diagnosed with cancer. Dropping the lawsuit is easy. Finding forgiveness, less so.Series
- Part 1 of Love is a Place
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,636
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 826
- Kudos:
- 8,965
- Bookmarks:
- 2,245
- Hits:
- 201,976
Bookmarked by CancerCadaver
31 May 2025