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So Sebastian had the worst possible opinion of him. At least that should make Haley see reason that just because two guys turned out to be gay in the same valley, it did not mean they were in any way attracted to each other.
Which was of course why the first thing Haley said to him once they sat together in their next class, was, “He’s so attracted to you!”
“How did you get there from ‘I think Alex is a meathead jock'?” Alex sighed, rubbing his temples. “I overheard all of that, by the way.”
“Good, then you must also have heard how he praised your good looks!”
“You mean when he said that I’m way too concerned with them and it made me stupid?”
Haley waved her pencil about, like a teacher trying to explain a difficult concept. “It’s about reading between the lines!”
“Look - I’m not good at reading the lines, period. I’m not sure what you want me to find between them.”
“Love!” Haley proclaimed, throwing her arms up. “And a handjob!"
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 127,237
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 465
- Kudos:
- 1,220
- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by CharlottePuddingWannabe
05 Mar 2026
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At forty, a mysterious Grand Line phenomenon whisks Zoro to a life other than his own. He tries to return to the one that belongs to him, and keeps finding Sanji instead.
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Sanji hooks up with his hot neighbor.
Things spiral from there.
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“You’re 39?!” Sanji gaped, eyeing him up and down. Regrettably, the mosshead had filled out well. If one looked at the right angle, the stupid swordsman would even look, god he was gonna throw up, kind of decent. It made him wonder what he looked like at 39. Hopefully still as handsome as he was at 19.
“Tch, 39 is not that old.” Zoro crossed his arms, looking away in annoyance. “Anyways, I gotta go back home soon. You can come if you want.”
Home. Never in a million years would Sanji think he’d hear Zoro use the word ‘home’. But domesticity will do that to a man. He wasn’t jealous, definitely not.
Would Sanji, 20 years in the future, have a home as well?
After being hit by some devil fruit powers, Sanji finds himself being transported to a world where he and Zoro are old and married???!!!!
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⋆───･:࿔*✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧*࿔:･───⋆
Pouring the steamed milk with his practiced, signature spiral, Sanji steps up to the counter with the finished product. “One Lavender sedative for the Mosshead,” the witch prompts with a wink; Zoro snorting indignantly at the nickname.
Their hands brush in the transfer and the blond finds himself lingering on demonfolk’s fingers, the digits dark black, as if dipped in charcoal, and searingly warm to the touch.
If Zoro notices, he doesn’t mention it. The man instead glancing between the swirl in the coffee to the curl of the witch’s eyebrow before smirking, “Thanks Curly,” he says, tipping his chin up in a nod After a moment of lingering amusement, the demonfolk turns and heads to the far corner of the cafe.
Sanji watches him go with a frown, his fingertips tingling and a furious blush warming his ears.
What a bastard.
⋆───･:࿔*✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧*࿔:･───⋆
Urban Fantasy Zosan - Witch!Sanji and Demon!Zoro - Rating for full story - Tags updated with chapters
Content warnings marked per chapter with skippable links﹢₊*⊹⋆˚｡🌶️ -
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When Sanji was young, Zeff once told him a bedtime story about a human who fell in love with the god of hurricanes. The man would stand outside, high on the mountaintop where his village was built to avoid ravaging floods, exalting in the winds that whipped his hair and lashed at his face, rejoicing in the rising tide and snarling waves.
When Sanji was 19, he met his god of hurricanes in the form of a man who welcomed and survived a slash across his chest that should have felled a mortal.
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Sanji’s heat is mostly over, but his body isn’t done giving. When Luffy pulls him into his lap at breakfast for a taste, the strawhats don't mind… except Zoro, who watches every swallow like it’s meant for him.
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The companions guild was something the swordsman had always been aware of distantly, something he was absolutely not allowed to refer to as a whore house or a brothel as apparently that was offensive despite the whole intercourse for money thing still happening. Rich kids get a first hand demonstration on the world of fucking in a controlled, clean, and most importantly, proper way. When Zoro had first learned about it he had laughed. Then Mihawk had told him he’d be assigned his own companion for “education”. Zoro hadn’t laughed at that.
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Like a girl’s, Sanji had said, not fooling either of them… not for a single second was he fooling either of them, but the offer had been so damn tantalising that Zoro hadn’t let on, allowing Sanji to use him wherever and whenever he was desperate enough to ask because any measure of attention that Zoro could get from the bastard was worth more than any and all treasures the Grand Line could have to offer.
Zoro decides he'd also like to get something out of him and Sanji's weird little arrangement.
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Sanji wants Zoro's blood, but can't tell him; also Sanji is Zoro's mate, but neither knows—naturally, a miscommunication occurs.
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When a wolfsbane-addled werewolf wandered into his garden and ate all his watermelons, Sanji had assumed the most annoying part would be tolerating the wolf's horrendous lack of manners—or the annoying persistence at owing him a favor. He was wrong on both counts. As the reclusive vampire quickly discovered, the hardest part was trying to remain calm when the wolf's enticing blood kept putting him at risk of doing something incredibly stupid...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 135,214
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 845
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- 3,146
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- 818
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Bookmarked by CharlottePuddingWannabe
21 Aug 2025
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Whenever Zoro's Asura form took over, the swordsman needed a little "assistance" to help it go down—typically in the form of a feisty cook.
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Zoro hadn't planned on exchanging blow jobs with a drag queen when he had come out to the bar at Nami's behest, and yet he can't pretend he’s not enjoying it. It might be one of his better decisions actually.
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Zoro hooks up with a drag queen and the guy he hates on the soccer team starts acting weird. These two things are probably unrelated.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,264
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 120
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- 1,731
- Bookmarks:
- 347
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- 12,935
Bookmarked by CharlottePuddingWannabe
02 Aug 2025
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Sharing heats and ruts is nothing but convenience for Zoro and Sanji. Two times a year they fuck like animals and then go their separate ways. Even if separate ways is just down the hall. It works for them. That's what they tell themselves anyway.
Then a poorly timed heat makes a mess of everything.
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The world seems to slow down as Sanji's heart skips a beat. It seems that whoever is in the heavens above has decided to make Sanji's life miserable. He contemplates his choice to turn around and not face Him, but the moment his eyes meet his own, Sanji finds himself glued to the spot. Sanji’s body stiffens, and suddenly he’s barreled back to being twenty-one and in a screaming match with someone that once called him a coward.
“Mosshead,” Sanji’s eyes narrow at the man standing in front of him — all too real. “It’s been a while.”
Nine years after the Strawhat Pirates go their seperate ways, Sanji lives in the East Blue as the Baratie’s head chef. It’s also nine years after that he receives a call from Luffy, hoping to bring the crew together one last time to fulfill Brook’s request. While most parted on good terms, Sanji and Zoro did not.
Reuniting is a disaster waiting to happen. When Sanji arrives in Sabaody, he quickly realizes that some things can’t be left behind.
Like Sanji’s sudden departure from the crew. Or Zoro’s son.
Or the choices that keep drawing them back to each other.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 56,405
- Chapters:
- 9/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 143
- Kudos:
- 677
- Bookmarks:
- 147
- Hits:
- 15,940
Bookmarked by CharlottePuddingWannabe
14 Jul 2025
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Roronoa Zoro is incapable of staying in one place, and it falls to Sanji to keep track of him. If only he would stop wandering off at the worst times.
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Zoro keeps getting lost. Sanji keeps finding him.
Bookmarked by CharlottePuddingWannabe
29 Jun 2025
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“Thanks for all your help, baby,” Nami throws scathingly over her shoulder to Zoro.
Zoro shoves her away. “Gross.”
Sanji does not point out the fact that Zoro didn’t think the term was so gross when he was using it to beg Sanji to move faster, go harder. He wonders if Zoro says it to any of his other hookups, or if Sanji gets the moniker all to himself.
God, this is becoming a problem.
Really, the first problem was fucking his frenemy. Okay, he shouldn't say that. The word frenemy is so tacky. And also inaccurate for what Zoro is to him. But mostly the tacky thing.So you caught feelings for you super-casual, months-long, practically-but-not-actually-exclusive hookup. It's probably fine, right?
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Zoro does not want to be involved with people. He’s already dealing with a zombie apocalypse and the fact that he's hallucinating specters of his dead friends.
Then Sanji comes into the picture and changes everything.
Bookmarked by CharlottePuddingWannabe
12 Jun 2025
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still left with the river, still left with his hands by winterafternoons (summermidnights)
Fandoms: One Piece
04 May 2022
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A voicemail from an unknown number, recorded at 3:17 AM during Zoro’s layover flight. The number will be disconnected by the time Zoro notices and tries to call back.The transcription: Hey. It’s me. Listen, I’ve got to go. Don’t you dare try to fucking follow me, you lughead. I’m not sure if I’ll come back anytime soon. Tell Luffy that I’m sorry but this is something that I have to do. I—
A self-deprecating huff of laughter as Sanji cuts himself off. Fuck. Um, keep the others safe, yeah? I won’t be using the Los Angeles safehouse anymore, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use it. God knows how many times you’ve nearly bled out on that couch.
Another pause, followed by weary exhale that Zoro feels in his bones. And Zoro, I—
Whatever Sanji's trying to say gets stuck in his throat again, sticky and tar-like. It's—never mind. Take care of yourself, mosshead.
The voicemail ends there.
Alternatively: do you have to know someone in their entirety to love them unconditionally?
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It was that first time, just once, murmured against Sanji's mouth with his hand tight around Sanji’s cock that Zoro said, “Fuck, you're such a slut for it.”
And it was Sanji’s first fatal mistake to moan in response because it's only gone downhill from there.
Or
Zoro talks a lot in bed, but if that’s the only way he communicates, then of course no talking gets done at all.
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If Sanji could get rid of that damn itch that only men could scratch by himself, he would. When Nami sets him up with friend of hers that's both up for no-strings-attached hookups and doesn't mind Sanji's demands for keeping it anonymous, the problem has solved itself.
Now all he needs to do is keep it casual. That can't be hard. He never met a guy he'd been attracted to on an emotional level, so why would he start now?