1 - 20 of 63 Bookmarks by Cymalin

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  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    when dean was 4, he lost his mother.
    and when he was 41, he lost cas, again.

    here are some of the things that happened in between
    and some of the things that happened after

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    187,635
    Chapters:
    25/56
    Comments:
    368
    Kudos:
    275
    Bookmarks:
    122
    Hits:
    12,276

    29 Apr 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Beginning(?) of 7

  2. Public Bookmark 15

    Tags
    Summary

    "Obeying Dad, not living my own life, the family business." That used to be Sam’s motto. Now... well, now it's more like: "Trying to remember how I got here, trying not to die, the damn family business"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,125
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    70
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1,804

    11 Apr 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Fini

  3. Public Bookmark 75

    Tags
    Summary

    After John’s demise at the hands of a demon, twenty-six year old Dean discovers his brother didn’t actually die in the fire that killed their mother. Sixteen year old Sammy is alive and well in Minnesota, calling Kate Milligan mom and believing nine year old Adam is his only brother. Now that he has his little brother back, Dean will stop at nothing to keep Sam in his life, even if that means dragging him away from everything he’s ever known.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    89,405
    Chapters:
    38/38
    Comments:
    393
    Kudos:
    385
    Bookmarks:
    75
    Hits:
    14,862

    11 Apr 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    End of 37

  4. Public Bookmark 14

    Tags
    Summary

    Sam survived eleven years of hell. Now he has to learn how to live.

    At twenty-two, Sam Winchester is attempting his first real relationship—with Jess, a woman who doesn't know what he's survived. She expects him to be "normal". The PTSD makes it hard. The years of sexual trauma and learned behavior make it damn near impossible. But Sam is *trying*.

    Dean, twenty-seven, finally has his baby brother back. But watching Sam struggle—watching him self-destruct in slow motion—is killing him. Especially when Dean finds himself unexpectedly drawn to Benny Lafitte, and has to figure out his own shit while keeping Sam alive.

    The Winchester brothers learn what healthy love looks like. It's far messier than either of them expected.

     

    Note: this was originally titled Sex and the Single Winchester. I had intended it to be sort of a rom-com-dramedy but the subject matter is way too dark. So the new title reflects that.

    This is Part 2 of the
    Brothers, Man Series
    It can be read standalone, but context from this first part, will deepen the experience.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    340,954
    Chapters:
    65/65
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    323
    Kudos:
    227
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    15,190

    17 Mar 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    End of 49

  5. Public Bookmark 60

    Tags
    Summary

    What if Sam is kidnapped as a child, and after searching for over a decade, Dean finally finds his baby brother-but the Sam he finds is nothing like the Sam he lost.

    Eleven-year-old Sam Winchester is taken on sixteen-year-old Dean's watch. Dean spends the next eleven years searching. He never stops. He can't stop.

    When Dean finally finds Sam at twenty-two, his baby brother is alive. Talking. Functional. But something is really wrong. While both Sam and Dean know Sam endured eleven years of severe sexual torture, Sam is decidedly unbothered by it. He's hypersexual, reckless, and seeks out situations that hurt him. Dean wants to save Sam, but Sam doesn't think he needs to be saved.

    Sam's in denial. Sam's dissociated from his own trauma. And Dean has to figure out how to bring home a brother who doesn't believe he was ever lost.

    ---

    Dark hurt/comfort. This is the story of finding Sam—and the much harder work of actually bringing him home.

    Part 1 of the Brothers, Man series.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    103,314
    Chapters:
    33/33
    Comments:
    142
    Kudos:
    332
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    16,570

    12 Mar 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Fini

  6. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    Sam doesn't go to Stanford. Everything goes downhill from there.

    Words:
    6,819
    Works:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    260

    07 Mar 2025

  7. Public Bookmark 29

    Tags
    Summary

    The YED would like to talk to Sam. It's not very effective. Meanwhile, Dean tries to get through to his brother and John is unhelpful.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,305
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    572
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    7,801

    07 Mar 2025

  8. Public Bookmark 9

    Tags
    Summary

    Somewhere between Dean's trip downstairs and Sam's own secrets, the gaping wounds in their own relationship are pushed to the limits when they end up in Iowa for a run-of-the-mill haunting that slips sideways quickly.

    Or.

    The end of the world. Winchester fashion.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,664
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    915

    12 Feb 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Mid 2

  9. Public Bookmark 46

    Tags
    Summary

    Sam is tired. Dean is protective (and a little confused). John is not-so-oblivious.
    After a hunt-gone-wrong, John is left scrambling to pick up the pieces and protect his boys.
    Teenchesters. Wincest. Slow-burn, with eventual smut.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    97,525
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    72
    Kudos:
    148
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    5,088

    01 Oct 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    1/3

  10. Public Bookmark 36

    Tags
    Summary

    "Sam's legs gave out and he allowed himself to slide slowly down along the bathroom wall. Can't breath. He lifted his hand, eyes locked on to them as tremors ran up and down his arm. Smelled. He had to get the smell off"

    Something bad is happening to Sam at school, will Dean be able to figure it out? Will Sam be able to heal? This is a dark fic with dark themes of sexual assault and healing. It is not erotic but can get graphic please read with caution.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,374
    Chapters:
    31/33
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    153
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    5,326

    29 Sep 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    End of 20

  11. Public Bookmark 7

    Tags
    Summary

    When Sam and Dean learn from Crowley that Azazel has been playing with them their entire lives they decide to take the throne with force.

    There's sex. Hot. Sweaty. Cajun. Vampire. Sex. Mr. Fizzles was not invited.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,682
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1,131

    09 Sep 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Chapt 1

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    When Dean tells him to walk away, he does it. There's nowhere to go this time. Sam should know better.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,508
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    335
    Kudos:
    924
    Bookmarks:
    207
    Hits:
    28,955

    07 Aug 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    End of 14

  13. Public Bookmark 84

    Tags
    Summary

    “I dunno what kinda wake up call you need, but this stops. You hear me?”

    Sam looks up, his expression blank. He doesn’t have to fight to keep it that way, because really he just feels numb. His palms tingle, the adrenaline and low blood sugar making him clammy with trembles. “It’s nothing.”

    “No, this is not nothing, Sam!” Dean shouts, harsh and angry. His eyes stare wide and heavy into Sam’s “Are you listening to me? This stops.”

    He can feel the acid eat away at his stomach, but something about the sensation is comforting rather than painful.
    Sam cannot really explain it, because he doesn’t fully know why he does it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,399
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    568
    Bookmarks:
    84
    Hits:
    5,928

    06 Aug 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Fini
    Really well done support conversation.

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    AU: Mary never died and if the supernatural exists, it leaves the Winchesters alone.

    When Dean Winchester was four years old he almost lost his younger brother for the first time to a fire. When Dean Winchester was eighteen he almost lost his brother a second time to a full bathtub and a pack of sleeping pills, citing some decidedly unbrotherly feelings in his suicide note. At twenty-two he's about to lose him for a third time to Stanford University.

    He and Sam's therapist sit down and talk out the chain of events leading up to and proceeding after what Dean considers to be the worst day of his life. He figures out a few things along the way.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,234
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    409
    Bookmarks:
    121
    Hits:
    7,386

    16 Jun 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Fini and Oh Damn

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Dean Winchesters attempts suicide on a dirty motel bathtub, ending brain dead on a hospital. A trickster promises John and Sam that he will save him for “free”, as long as they both get through watching a series of Dean´s memories, good and bad. The twist is that they will feel everything Dean did at the time and they can stop it at any time, but then Dean will die. They both accept thinking it cant be that bad. Spoiler: it is worse.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    125,411
    Chapters:
    48/?
    Comments:
    1,448
    Kudos:
    2,835
    Bookmarks:
    519
    Hits:
    131,117

    13 Jun 2024

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Sam Winchester has an eating disorder.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,027
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    408
    Bookmarks:
    105
    Hits:
    8,147

    03 Jun 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Fini - awesomeness esp Jesse

  17. Public Bookmark 3

    Tags
    Summary

    Sam and Dean were not what they once were... but for just a moment there were whispers of what they used to be.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,721
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    400

    03 Jun 2024

  18. Public Bookmark 7

    Tags
    Summary

    Sam and Caleb reflect on Sam's teenaged years, and discuss the real events that set Sam's psychic abilities into motion. Brotherhood AU. Rated T for swearing and violence.

    **Re-Edited April 2020

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,253
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    2,206

    30 May 2024

  19. Public Bookmark 81

    Tags
    Summary

    1996, September. The year Dean's life shatters to pieces. Sam disappears, gone, without any answers, and Dean is left fumbling in the whirlwind of his brother's sudden absence. He chases after ghosts and empty promises for the next decade, praying for a ghost of a chance, until it seems he's given an answer from the most unlikely of places, about what may have happened that beautiful autumn day, when Sam went missing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    250,574
    Chapters:
    43/43
    Comments:
    328
    Kudos:
    219
    Bookmarks:
    81
    Hits:
    11,926

    11 May 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    End of 38

  20. Public Bookmark 2

    Words:
    8,509
    Works:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    2

    10 May 2024

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