Pastryplate



Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    He doesn’t mean for it to happen that way. He sees the asphalt before he reaches it.

    He thinks, Ilya.

    He doesn’t remember much after that.

    -

    SHANE HOLLANDER, CAPTAIN OF MONTREAL METROS, FOUND UNRESPONSIVE AFTER FALLING FROM APARTMENT BALCONY
    The incident occurred mere hours after rumors of the hockey star’s sexuality started circulating, stemming from an online video of a private conversation between the young captain and actress Rose Landry. There is no update on his current status after being moved to…

    Or, Shane gets outed and accidentally hurts himself, the world thinks he's tried to end his life, and Ilya struggles to come to terms with mortality in more than one sense of the word.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,264
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    395
    Kudos:
    2,399
    Bookmarks:
    737
    Hits:
    36,847

    16 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In which Shane Hollander's pubic hair goes viral, the internet colour-matches it to Pantone 15-1214 (Warm Sand), and Ilya Rozanov - creates accounts on Reddit, TikTok, Instagram, Tumblr, AND YouTube to anonymously defend his not-boyfriend's crotch using genetics Wikipedia and advanced hockey analytics.

    Features: a one-star Calvin Klein review ("very poor elastic, ruined my life"), Svetlana and Rose who have never once been wrong, and the most romantic use of the word "melanocytes" in the history of the English language according to Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,506
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    447
    Kudos:
    5,315
    Bookmarks:
    1,258
    Hits:
    41,939

    15 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Am I a bad friend?”

    Hayden has always been the guy Shane joked with, the guy he trusted to feed him without mocking him, the guy he roomed with on the road, and Shane is the only man who has ever seen Hayden cry, and Hayden loves Shane. He fucking loves him. They are like brothers, and they have been for almost ten fucking years. He’s always been Shane’s guy, Shane’s best friend.

    Except all along, maybe that wasn’t true. Ilya Rozanov, apparently, had been the guy. Before Hayden had ever met Shane, Ilya Rozanov had been there. And Hayden had never even noticed.

    Shane is all over every inch of Hayden’s life. Hayden thought that was reciprocal.
    +++
    “You know I think about you all the time,
    And my deep misunderstanding of your life,
    And how bad it must have been for you back then,
    And how hard it was to keep it all inside.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,071
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    281
    Kudos:
    2,661
    Bookmarks:
    560
    Hits:
    9,992

    15 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    A collection of Shane Hollander pregancy drabbles/oneshots based off some Tumblr prompts.

    Table of contents:
    Chapter 1 - Shane passes out
    Chapter 2 - Ilya gives Shane a foot rub
    Chapter 3 - Shane goes into labor at the Stanley cup
    Chapter 4 - Ilya figures out Shane is pregnant at the 2026 Olympics
    Chapter 5 - Shane and Ilya introduce their new baby to Anya
    Chapter 6 - Ilya wants to take care of his pregnant husband
    Chapter 7 - Shane and Ilya discover they are expecting more than one baby

     

    Will be updated as more prompts are received!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,309
    Chapters:
    7/10
    Comments:
    77
    Kudos:
    1,346
    Bookmarks:
    288
    Hits:
    26,649

    15 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    What if Scott Hunter was waiting for an elevator in Vegas?

    What if Shane and Ilya had an emotional support Old Man and his Art History Twink?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    150,501
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    1,627
    Kudos:
    4,623
    Bookmarks:
    1,983
    Hits:
    151,303

    15 Mar 2026