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He thinks it must be an accident. Because all he hears is shuffling and soft… clapping? He's about to hang up and laugh because House butt-dialed him while drunk when he hears it.
A very, very obviously sexual grunt. A moan, if more specific. Whatever. Not whatever. He can't really breathe right now, or think; call back later.
He wants to hang up. This is an invasion of privacy. This isn't okay. House butt-dialed him while masturbating, for fuck’s sake. And it's not like he wants to listen. Right? So. Just hang up.
Bookmarked by aquille
18 Mar 2026
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Wilson said, “So we’re just two friends who want to have sex with each other, who aren’t going to do anything about it.”
Spoken with the incredulity of a beautiful person with low impulse control. House shrugged.
“We’ve been that for years. Why mess with success?”
Wilson was looking at his mouth. He sounded strained. “I don’t think what we’re doing qualifies as success.”
- Language:
- English
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- 15,050
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- 1/1
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- 154
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Bookmarked by aquille
18 Mar 2026
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Wilson's the only one who's ever known how to handle House.
Series
- Part 1 of the fighting kind
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,516
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 166
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- 2,238
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Bookmarked by aquille
18 Mar 2026
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Summary
“You’re distracting.”
“Huh,” Wilson manages. His hands tense on his folded arms. “Is it my dazzling good looks?”
“You’re an anomaly,” he replies immediately in a snarl.
“I’m- I’m so sorry, I’ll try to avoid 'being an anomaly' next time.”
What happens when two best friends love each other to the point of hating each other? They try to date and sulk about it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,567
- Chapters:
- 5/5
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- 323
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- 4,857
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- 955
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- 62,172
Bookmarked by aquille
18 Mar 2026
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Summary
House and Wilson share a hotel room at a medical conference. Read on for goofy acronyms, endless banter, horny middle-aged men, and more!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,071
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 620
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- 4,692
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- 69,118
Bookmarked by aquille
13 Mar 2026

