awkwardsadmad



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane's breath catches on a sob, and he muffles the sound with his hand. Everything feels like too much. He’s naked, and he can feel entirely too much on his body, inside his body, and he hates how it's starting to feel gross. His head is pounding, and he can't even focus on placating his mind when his lungs are also screaming in his throat for breath.

    Ilya hears, and his hands reach out to hold Shane, tension lying in every part of his body. “Shane—”

    “Don't touch me,” Shane snaps, more desperation than yelling as he rips his arm out of Ilyas's grasp. His tears have nowhere to go now, and they finally spill over, hot and humiliating, down his cheeks.

    Ilya freezes in place, hand hovering mid-air. A myriad of emotions flicker across his face: confusion, hurt, fear. Ilya takes an unconscious step back like someone shoved him. His body curls in on itself, trying to make himself appear smaller.

    He looks... terrified. Like, Shane just called him a monster, and he believes it.

    OR: inspired by the fight in the long game when ilya had told shane he could have sex with other men because he did not believe in cheating.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,413
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    330
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    12,669
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    06 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Under the guidance of his doctor and mostly out of desperation due to his last annual heat being severe enough to nearly land him in the hospital, Shane Hollander knows he needs to take a heat partner for the first time if he doesn’t want to end up in a cycle facility.
    With his options between hiring a comfort alpha or asking one Ilya Rozanov for help, the choice is clear to Shane. Even if it feels like he’s losing every shred of his dignity to ask his - rival? fuckbuddy? - whatever Rozanov is to help him through his heat, Rozanov is the only alpha he trusts enough to take care of him.
    Rozanov is due for his own rut and is more than happy to finally, finally have heat sex with Hollander. Which is why he says yes with no hesitation. No other reason, of course.
    Now they both just need to survive the week with their hearts intact, which is something far easier said than done.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,364
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    434
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    06 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane’s heart drops into his stomach. “Ilya,” he breathes. His vision goes blurry, throat tight. He tries to swallow it down and focus, shove his swirling thoughts into a neat little box, but it’s impossible. He feels—he might throw up, actually. “Are you seriously telling me you tried to fucking kill yourself?”

    “Yes,” Ilya agrees blandly, “It did not work.”

    Ilya calls Shane from the hospital. Shane handles it very normally.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,110
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    452
    Kudos:
    14,746
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    2,893
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    02 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “Hollander,” Ilya urges, voice deceptively level. “Who did this to you?”

    ----

    Shane stumbles back to his apartment, bruised and battered, after a grueling night of patrolling Montreal as Spider-Man. He finds Ilya waiting for him on his bed, shirtless and cocky and woefully uncaring that Shane warned him not to come by tonight.

    Lying to the world is one thing. Lying to Ilya, the one person he truly trusts, is another.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,102
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    54
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    2,342
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    450
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    23,137

    01 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya hurts Shane.

    It’s an accident, of course, but his mind goes to the only place it knows how afterwards: He deserves to hurt too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,895
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    102
    Kudos:
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    01 Mar 2026