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1.
Maybe a week or so after Rei finishes practicing his non-butterfly strokes with Rin during the Samezuka afterhours, Rin starts realizing that his nights are lacking a certain something. He’s not entirely sure what it is, and he’s almost positive he can get it out of his system with just a quick dip in the pool, but that never fully satiates whatever it is. It’s keeping him up at night, to be honest, and Sousuke’s starting to grow weary of his late night jogging excursions.
“I try to be quiet when I come through the door,” Rin tries to reason with him, but Sousuke just eyes him even more disapprovingly from where he’s lounging on the top bunk. Far be it from him to tell Rin what to do or what’s best for him, but just because one of them can’t sleep doesn’t mean the other shouldn’t be able to, right?
“I’ve always been a light sleeper.” Sousuke reasons back, and Rin averts his gaze, staring at the floor where all their belongings are beginning to form a messy home. Sousuke flips onto his back to stare at the ceiling, pillowing his head with his arms. “You started acting all weird after you stopped giving that guy from Iwatobi swimming lessons. Maybe you like giving swimming lessons. Why not try some after-hour training with the team?”
Rin scoffs and unzips his jacket, slipping it off his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. “The team doesn’t need my help outside of practice. None of them are as hopeless as that guy is.” He toes off his shoes. “I tried swimming at night, but that didn’t really help either, and I’ve never really pegged myself for the teaching type.”
Sousuke keeps staring at the ceiling. He listens to Rin’s words, and then he rolls them over in his head again, and when he makes the connection, he doesn’t open his mouth to say it. Some things you just have to figure out on your own. “Well, just try to be a little quieter.” He feels Rin gently punch the bottom of his bunk, and he smiles.
Rin still can’t sleep, though.
Even if he’s disturbing Sousuke less, going out for runs less, swimming late at night less, he still keeps finding himself in bed staring at the bottom springs of the bunk above him, wondering why he’s so antsy and full of energy. Surely a couple of training sessions for an hour or two with a guy he barely knows didn’t throw his entire sleep schedule out of whack. Doesn’t it take, like, three weeks to do that or something?
He still doesn’t sleep, at least not at night. If he starts nodding off in class, it’s not like he can really do anything about it. He’s tired, and he’s a teenager, and he works hard when he’s not… you know, sleeping in class, and at least he’s decent at hiding it. He doesn’t get called out by the teacher until at least the fourth time he does it, and in Samezuka standards, that’s pretty good. But he’s noticing that a lot of the stuff going up on the chalkboard isn’t matching what’s in his notebook anymore, and he’s not entirely following the answers his classmates seem to be giving out so easily, and he looks out the window because There it is, I’m screwed.
He calls up Rei without thinking. He just vaguely remember Makoto saying something about how the kid's a whiz at all this complex science stuff, so if there’s anyone he should ask, it should be him, right? Besides, Rei still kind of owes him. A couple of cookies doesn’t really make up for the hours spent training him.
“I need you to help me with biology.” Rin grumbles when he shows up on Rei’s doorstep, mostly out of embarrassment for himself than any animosity toward Rei, and his bag feels heavy on his shoulder as Rei ushers in him. “I’m normally not this careless in school, I guess I’ve just been feeling under the weather lately.”
“It’s understandable.” Rei says, leading Rin to his room. “I sometimes get tired enough after practice that I forget to make copies of my notes. Do you know how jarring that is?” He shudders a bit. “If you lose the one copy, that’s it, they’re gone.” Rin laughs a little and claps Rei on the shoulder as he makes his way into the room, because even if they’re new acquaintances, that sounds exactly like something Rei would say.
They lose track of time easily, and Rin almost forgets that he’s studying while he’s there. Rei has a couple of thick textbooks splayed out on the floor between them, pointing to each of them individually as he explains a concept, and Rin’s following his lead, slowly, but carefully. Rei’s younger than him, but he has a way of explaining things that seems clearer and more obvious than his teachers. He stays a bit later than he means to, and when he finally bothers to check the time, it’s already dark outside.
Rin hums discontentedly. “Crap, I meant to be heading home by now.” He looks at all the papers and notes that Rei has strewn on the floor and rubs the back of his neck. “Do you mind if we postpone this until another time? I’ve really gotta get back, the dorm advisors don’t like it when we’re out this late.”
Surprisingly, Rei crosses his arms and nods. “Sure. Whenever your schedule is open, let me know, I’ll be happy to help you.” He smiles. “You went out of your way to help me with swimming, so I don’t mind going out of my way to help you back. It’s kind of an extra thank you, since all I really could offer you was cookies.”
Rin slings his backpack over his shoulder, and even he has to admit that he’s a little bit stunned. He didn’t want to make Rei feel like he owed him anything, but still, the gesture of kindness is a bit from left field.
He thinks about the relay race, though, and how this is the same guy who sacrificed his opportunity to swim with the people he had really grown to look up to so that they could mend their relationship with an old friend. This is the same guy that watched from the sidelines as a person he barely knew took his place, and didn’t say a word. He barely knows Rei, but somehow he can’t help but think that, despite his occasional overconfidence and his tendency to be calculating and a little too robotic, more so than most people Rin knows, his capacity for compassion is boundless.
“Rin-san?” Rei asks, more than a little perplexed that Rin is still standing in his bedroom. “Is something wrong?”
“No,” Rin says, inwardly shaking his head to clear his thoughts, “no, I’m fine, I was just trying to remember something. I’ll… I’ll text you and let you know when I can come over again sometime.” He hesitates, then adds, “Thanks, by the way, for helping me out. You really put a lot of things into perspective.”
“I have a gift for science, I guess.” Rin doesn’t mention that that’s not really what he meant.
Nevertheless, Rei sees him out with a smile and a friendly wave, and makes sure he watches until Rin gets to the nearest streetlight before shutting his front door. The walk home to Samezuka leaves Rin in a daze, almost like he didn’t experience it at all, and he opens the door as softly as he can as to not wake up Sousuke, and collapses into bed.
He’s out like a light, and dreams soundly for the first time in a while.
2.
Rei takes the time to tutor Rin a couple of more time before Rin feels confident that he’s caught up with the rest of the class, and their get-togethers amicably become less and less frequent. Soon enough, Rin doesn’t visit the Ryugazaki household anymore, and he doesn’t notice how his feet suddenly feel heavier when he jogs past the premises on clear, cool nights.
He goes about his regular business with school and with swimming and finds himself at the mall one weekend, shopping for more tank tops to wear so he doesn’t have to cycle his laundry so much during the summer. He’s got a couple picked out and folded over his arm when he turns a corner around one of the display shelves and bumps into something.
He nearly drops everything he’s holding. “Ah, sorry, sorry,” he catches everything before it hits the ground and looks up to see familiar spectacled eyes staring back at him. “Rei? Funny running into you here, how are you?”
Rei seems flustered and just a little bit panicky, which sets off some alarm bells in Rin’s head that he has to quietly ignore. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to run into you like that, Rin-san, I was just,” he looks around like a small, nervous animal of some kind, unsure of where to go, “I came here to do some shopping for the team and get them all thank you presents, but I’m… uh…”
“Getting a little overwhelmed?” Rin offers, tilting his head.
“Yeah. I guess. I think.” Rei replies, obviously not thinking as clearly as he normally does. “Everything’s on sale, but then there are clearance racks? But the nice things come in bundles? And I don’t even know what Gou-san likes, how am I supposed to shop for her -”
“Rei, relax.” Rin says, and he waves his hand a little bit so that Rei will stop looking around for a minute and focus on him. “I can help you out, if you want. I mean, those guys are my best friends, and Gou’s my sister, so I think I’ll know how to shop for them, alright? You don’t have to freak out.”
Rei blushes and he puts his hands up to protest. “N-No, I couldn’t make you do that, Rin-san! You were here shopping for yourself, I can’t just make you stop everything you’re doing to help me, that’s rude.” He deflates a little bit. “I feel like I… sort of know what they would all want? But I wouldn’t want to mess up, and there are so many marked-down prices and I have so many coupons that I don’t understand…”
Rin punts a hand on his shoulder, and it stops him short, his mouth pulled tightly shut with panic and embarrassment. Rin smiles at him and says, “I told you, I’m going to help you, and I don’t want any word otherwise, alright? Let’s go find some sweets for my sister, she’ll love you forever for that.”
At first, it feels a little bit like Rin is dragging around a stubborn dog with how Rei stops and stares at merchandise, confused and clearly stupefied, but once they get into a rhythm of looking for gifts for the other Iwatobi swimmers and finding the best price for each of them, his fervor seems to calm down a bit and he even begins to enjoy walking around the mall with Rin. With each gift he purchases, it’s like an extra weight lifts off his shoulders and he becomes less and less unwound.
“Well, I, uh,” Rei says, looking down at the plastic bags wrung around his wrist, and there’s a bit of a grin on his face that he can’t hide, a relief and happiness that Rin almost feels embarrassed to witness. “Thank you, Rin-san. I don’t think I could have gotten this all done as efficiently without you.” He laughs sheepishly. “To be honest, I always get overwhelmed in shopping malls, there’s too much going on at once, I think.”
Rin shrugs. “I think I can understand that. I felt really overwhelmed when I first went to Australia. Everything was so new and foreign to me. I think I can sympathize.” He looks over to Rei and notices that he’s… watching Rin, in a way, almost with a deep sort of admiration or respect that Rin normally only feels from the underclassmen on the swim team. Except with them, it’s because they’re his subordinates, but with Rei, it’s completely different. Rei respects Rin because he chooses to, and there have only been a handful of people in his life who have ever chosen to admire him like that. It gives him pause. “You know… we should hang out more. I think. I had fun today.”
Rei laughs again. “Even though I completely derailed your shopping trip to help me out?”
“I didn’t mind. I told you, it was fun.”
He doesn’t want to make Rei nervous. He appreciates the respect and admiration, but he wonders if Rei knows that that admiration is entirely mutual, if he knows just how much he’s done for Rin, just the magnitude of his actions. He jokes around that he owes Rin, that he needs to repay him by making him cookies or tutoring him in biology, but if anything, Rin doesn’t think he’ll ever stop being in Rei’s debt. It’s one thing to teach a guy how to swim or to help him shop for presents, but it’s another to rebuild somebody’s confidence and rekindle three dead relationships in one fell swoop.
So he punches Rei’s arm affectionately. “I’ll text you, alright? We should hang out more.”
And when Rei smiles back, almost overenthusiastic when he replies, “Sure!” Rin can’t help but think that somewhere along the line, somebody put him on the right track.
3.
Rin ends up getting a cold somewhere in the middle of spring, an adverse reaction to allergens in the air and overworking himself. It feels like he’s just being slowed down at first, but the symptoms start piling on, first with a headache, then a runny nose, then a sore throat, and eventually he’s bedridden and absolutely miserable about it. He finally crashes and burns right at the beginning of Golden Week, which only makes things even worse, and practically collapses over the Matsuoka residence’s threshold.
Gou replaces the damp face cloth on Rin’s forehead with a cold one and frowns. “It’s just like you to get sick right when vacation starts. I wanted to go see movies with you or something, and you have to be all stuck in bed.” She pouts. “Don’t you ever take my feelings into consideration?”
“Like I could have done anything to stop a cold.” Rin argues weakly, but it only irritates his throat enough to start a new barrage of coughing, and Gou holds a glass of water out to him. He takes it gratefully. “I’ll try to get better fast, okay? Then we can go see that movie, the one with the boys you keep talking about.”
“It’s called Pacific Rim, Rin, it’s about robots, not boys.” She crosses her arms and huffs. “Well. It has boys in it. But mostly robots, is my point!”
She takes care of him throughout the day, intermittently checking on him and making sure he’s not wheezing himself into a fit, and about halfway through the day, the door to Rin’s room opens quietly and Gou pops her head through, grinning.
“Hey, Riiiiin.” she says gently, being careful not to open the door any wider. “I have a surprise for you!”
“What?” he croaks out, because to be honest, he’s not really in the mood of surprises right now, but she still has his curiosity peaked, and he stares at her and the slightly ajar door for a moment or two until it bursts open with a flurry of blonde hair and worried cooing.
“Rin-chan!” Nagisa whines, rushing to Rin’s bedside and dropping to his knees so that their faces are relatively level. “We heard you were sick so we came by to help you feel better! Gou-chan’s really a good sister, you know, she texted all of us so that we could come over and cheer you up.”
Haruka and Makoto enter Rin’s bedroom without the same pomp and circumstance as Nagisa, Makoto being sure to turn to Gou and thank her for letting them in, but they both look to him in turn with their own expressions of concern and sympathy. Rin lays there for a moment, stunned that the three of them would bother coming to visit him, his eyes flitting from Nagisa then to Haruka and Makoto standing a bit further away.
“You guys didn’t have to show up, you know.” he struggles to get out, lifting himself up weakly and propping himself up against his headboard. “I was just gonna sit around and be sick until my body decided to not be sick anymore. I don’t really need moral support.”
“Well,” Makoto starts, wearing the same pleasant smile he always wears, “we wanted to come and visit you anyway. Colds can really do a number on your emotional health, too. Nobody really thinks about that.”
“Nagisa and Makoto wanted to come.” Haruka says quietly. “So I came too.”
Rin looks at the three of them, still a little embarrassed and feeling just a hint guilty, but he smiles, because of all the people who would go out of their way to visit Rin when he’s ill, he supposes it makes sense that they would be the first to arrive. “Thanks, I guess. It’s good to see you guys.” He takes stock of the room’s inhabitants one more time -- one, two, three -- and his smile disappears slowly, the dawning of his realization muddled by sickness. “Where’s Rei? Is he not with you guys today?”
He doesn’t mean for it to come out sounding so sad and pathetic, but he’s hoping they won’t notice, since a thoroughly ripped up throat kind of makes everything sound sad and pathetic, and he’s a little relieved when Nagisa waves him off with a wide grin. “Oh, don’t worry! Rei-chan’s on his way, he said he had to pick some things up from the store.”
“Pick things up from the store?”
Almost as if on cue, there’s the sounds of a door being opened from downstairs, and a muffled conversation between Gou and an obvious newcomer to the Matsuoka household. Nagisa perks up, says, “There he is!” and almost immediately afterward, Rin’s door bursts open again to reveal a winded Rei holding a full grocery bag.
“I’m sorry I’m late!” he says, in a way that’s more like calling it into the air of the room than actually directing it at anybody, and he straightens his glasses out on his face, gently placing his bag down and catching his breath. “I wanted to grab some things from the convenience store that might help you feel better, Rin-san.”
Well, now he really feels embarrassed and guilty. “I… Rei, you didn’t have to do that, I would have gotten on fine on my own.”
Rei isn’t having any of it, though, and he shakes his head, almost a little too enthusiastically. “It was no trouble at all, really! My mother has the best remedy for a cold and I wanted to offer you the same care that always helps me feel better!” His enthusiasm suddenly abates a bit, and his eyes slide to the ground. “Though, to be honest, the convenience store wasn’t very well stocked. But!” He bends down to start rummaging through the bag. “I bought orange juice and water bottles and a box of tissues and some cough drops and cans of soup, and -”
He stops when he hears Rin begin to laugh, a sort of raspy but somehow still warm noise that filters through the air. Rei blushes, and he seems to be a bit embarrassed now, holding his various purchases and choosing not to move. Nagisa flicks Rin on the nose.
“Hey!” he says. “It’s not nice to laugh at him like that, he was only trying to help you!”
Rin waves his hand away, but he’s still smiling. “No, I’m sorry, I wasn’t laughing at you, Rei, I swear. It’s just really nice that you would think to do that for me. To go out of your way and all that.” He brings his hand up to his mouth as a new wave of coughing rolls up his body, but when he finally gets it to settle down, he grins warmly at Rei. “People don’t normally do stuff like that for me. I was a little surprised, but… thank you.”
Rei’s still kneeling on the floor with his numerous cold-related convenience store purchases, but he’s stunned into silence, staring at Rin from across the room like they’ve suddenly made some big leap in their friendship, like Rin honestly expressing his approval is somehow revolutionary to their relationship. And in a way, it is. Rei has a weird way of thinking, and even after baking for Rin, he still felt like he was in his debt for helping him with his swimming strokes. Even after helping him study, he still felt like he was repaying a debt, and now here he is in Rin’s bedroom while he’s ill, having bought way too many bottles of orange juice and realizing that this isn’t repaying a debt anymore. Without doing anything but getting sick, Rin’s been able to make Rei realize that they really are on an equal playing field. Not one person trying to repay another, but two, honest-to-goodness friends.
Rin steels himself, because he wants to make sure Rei always knows that.
Makoto is the first person to break the silence. He, Nagisa, and Haruka seem to be completely unaware of the real gravity of the interaction that just occurred, but Rin doesn’t find it pertinent to explain it to them. He’d end up sounding silly, anyway. “It’s the least we could do for a friend, Rin.” he says warmly. “Now, Rei, we should try and get one of those cans of soup heated up so Rin can have something to eat. Haru and Nagisa will stay behind and keep you entertained.” He smiles and helps Rei, who seems to be in a bit of a daze, put everything back in the bag, and they leave the room together, Rei staring at Makoto’s back. Rin watches them as Nagisa chatters on about school and asks for the occasional one-word input from Haruka.
Makoto and Rei return a couple minutes later with the soup heated up a little too hot and they apologize and tell Rin many times in a row not to eat it yet, and the Iwatobi boys stay for an hour or two more, sitting around Rin’s messy bedroom and shooting the breeze with him so he feels less alone. They tell him stories about weird things that happen at school, and Rin supplies them with stories of his own when his throat decides not to fight with him, and he notices that Rei seems a bit quiet, though not as if he’s hurt or feels uncomfortable. He looks… happy, really. Just very content to be included.
The sun is beginning to set when the four of them decide that it’s probably best to head home, and they each bid Rin goodbye with a joke or a reassuring quip, and Rin waves them all off with an affectionate, “Yeah, get out of here before you get sick, too.” They file out and Rin watches them shut the door, and he closes his eyes as he listens to them pad down the hallway and downstairs to leave.
He doesn’t hear the door to room crack open quietly, and he only opens his eyes again when he hears someone call, “Rin-san?”
“What’s up?” he asks, and he sees Rei standing there, half in his room and half in the hallway. “Did you forget something?”
“Ah,” Rei stutters, and looks down at his feet, “no, no, it wasn’t that, I just thought I’d tell you, uh.” He looks up again and meets Rin’s eyes. “I left all the things I brought in your kitchen, like the juice and the soup and everything. I just wanted you to know. Um.” He smiles. “Get better soon!”
Rin’s stunned for a moment, but he’s able to manage a raspy, “Yeah,” as Rei waves and shuts the door behind him again. Rin just stares at the door for a moment or two more, and quietly, to the empty room, says, “Thank you.”
4.
The cold ends up treating Rin very benevolently, and by noon on the second day of Golden Week, Rin’s feeling recovered enough to be up and walking around -- still sniffling pathetically, but at least not as bad as he was the first day. He tells Gou that he’s going out for a run and that the fresh air will be good for him, and then slips out to the nearest cinema to buy two tickets to see Pacific Rim on the last day of their vacation. He pockets them with a grin on his face, hoping that the surprise will be an adequate thank-you for taking care of him.
Gou, of course, wakes up on the last day of Golden Week with a cough to rival Rin’s from a couple days before, and a fever reaching numbers Rin’s pretty sure the thermometer shouldn’t be able to reach.
“You got me siiiiick,” she whines, her nose stuffed up and only serving to make her sound even more pathetic. He cracks open one of the bottles of orange juice that Rei left behind and holds it out for her to drink.
“I know, I’m sorry. It’s cause you were taking care of me.” She takes a swig of the orange juice and glowers at him, but he can’t help but think that she looks like an angry kitten. He smiles sheepishly and pulls the tickets out of his pocket. “I was, uh. I was gonna surprise you today.”
She seems confused for a second, stuck in a bit of a permanent daze, but her eyes finally land on the tickets and she gasps. “I can’t believe you!” She punches his arm, albeit weakly. “I would have totally gone with you, too, but you had to go and get me sick!” She pouts. “You’re not allowed to do nice things for me when I’m mad at you, it's super confusing”
Rin sighs. “I know, I know. I guess I’ll just eat the money I spent on them and throw them in the trash. You took care of me, so it’s only fair that I take care of you.”
Gou jabs a finger into his bicep. “No, I took care of you because you barely know how to take care of yourself.” She sniffles again, and Rin can’t help but smile a bit. “Thank you for listening to me and buying the tickets. I’d kiss you on the cheek if I weren’t super gross right now, but I don’t want them to go to waste just so you can play nurse all day. Call up one of your friends and invite them to go with you.” She finally allows herself to grin, just a little. “I promise I can responsibly drink orange juice without adult supervision.”
“Are you sure?” Rin asks.
“I’m sure as hell not getting out of bed, so you might as well just go.” Rin ruffles her hair affectionately, and she swats him away, though without any real malice behind it, and he leaves her room to go see if he can round up anybody to see a movie about robots with him.
Just his luck, it’s harder than it sounds.
Sousuke’s visiting some of his friends in Tokyo, so he’s out of the question, and Nitori is off on vacation with his family. He’s not sure he knows Momotarou well enough yet to invite him to go see a movie, so that really only leaves the guys from Iwatobi.
“Ah, sorry!” Makoto apologizes profusely when he calls, and there are sounds of a huge commotion going on in the background. “Ran and Ren wanted to spend the day with me and my parents went out on a date.” Makoto’s voice suddenly seems farther away. “Please don’t pull your sister’s hair!”
Nagisa has a similar excuse when Rin calls him. “I really, really would, Rin-chan, trust me, and I’d much rather go see a cool robot movie with you right now, but my sisters decided they wanted to bring me on a shopping trip.” His voice drops to a whisper. “It’s as bad as it sounds.”
Haruka doesn’t even pick up his phone, and Rin mutters, “Typical,” under his breath, listening to Haruka’s short voicemail message. I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m probably swimming. Leave a message, I guess. He chuckles a little, though, because he’s not surprised at a voicemail message like that.
He ends up scrolling through his contacts for what feels like at least a couple of hours (it’s really only about twenty minutes, but Rin’s never been the best at judging time) and realizes he’s going a bit too fast to be reading anybody’s name, so he grumbles and scrolls back up and stops when he reaches Ryugazaki Rei. He stares at it for a moment, then blinks.
It’s weird how he suddenly feels relieved that everyone else bailed on him, because he’s always telling Rei how they should hang out more, but has never worked up the gall to actually invite him to do anything, and this is his chance. It’s just some dumb movie about robots and aliens, and maybe he’s getting a little bit too excited, but that’s not going to stop him now. He grins, and dials the number.
Rei sounds pleasantly surprised when Rin calls and all too eager to take him up on his offer, and Rin can’t help but be a little excited that he doesn’t have to throw out two perfectly good movie tickets. There’s a moment when he stops, still standing in his house and staring down at the screen of his phone, the words TERMINATED CALL - Ryugazaki Rei shining back at him, that he wonders if his excitement runs deeper than that, but he pushes it away. He has to get ready, after all.
A couple hours later, he meets Rei in front of the cinema, jogging to meet up with him with a wave and a grin. They chat some before Rin hands the tickets over to the ticket taker and head inside to the cinema marked Pacific Rim. The movie ends up actually being pretty good, and Rin gets why Gou was so excited to see it - it’s straight from America, so some of it translates oddly, but it still ends up being thoroughly enjoyable and cool to watch. Rei occasionally leans over to pick apart some of the plot holes and technical follies, and Rin snickers a bit, which make a couple sitting a few rows in front of them look back and glare. Rei freezes when he sees them, but Rin nudges his arm and he relaxes again.
After the movie lets out, they’re able to talk about the movie animatedly without fear of how loud they are, and Rei gets himself pretty worked up over some glaring errors in the movie’s narrative, which makes Rin laugh harder than he has in a while. They walk through the plaza for a while, talking away and casually window shopping, occasionally dropping in to look at things without ever actually buying anything, and they take the scenic route as the sun sets across the beach to get back to Rei’s place. The light cast all over the sky is reflected in the water of the ocean, and it bursts with oranges and yellows and soft purples as foam crashes down on the shore.
“Thank you for inviting me out today.” Rei says as they get closer to his home. “I didn’t have any plans for today and I was afraid I was going to end up staring at the wall in my bedroom.”
Rin shrugs. “Hey, it was my pleasure. You really helped me out, actually, I was afraid I was going to have to waste two perfectly good movie tickets. Plus, I had fun.” He nudges Rei's shoulder with his own as they part ways, and he gives him a grin. “I’ll invite you out again sometime.”
Rei nods and gives one last, hesitant wave before heading up the stairs that lead to his door, and Rin keeps walking toward his house without slowing down, the sky now a blanket of dark navy covering the bright hues of the sun. His feet feel light, for some reason, and he feels invigorated, even in the dark, and when he reaches his own front door, he whistles as he steps through it and inside.
“How was your date with Rei-kun?” Gou calls quietly from her bedroom, and he stops in the hallway to peek through her door.
“Sick people can’t make fun of their big brothers.” he says softly. “Go to sleep so you’ll feel better.”
“I hope you had fun.” she says back, before going quiet again, turning over in her bed to fall back asleep. He leaves her be and shuts her bedroom door, and heads to his own room so that he can collapse, suddenly exhausted and feeling well worn out from the day.
He’s tired, that’s for sure, but he lies awake in his bed for what is at first just a short hour, but turns into two, and then three, peering into the darkness and almost unable to close his eyes. He stares at his ceiling and thinks about what Gou said, however much in jest it was, because if he thinks about it, he just took a dude to the movies and then for a walk on the beach. He stares harder at the ceiling, and he can almost swear the ceiling is staring back.
He thinks about it again, and his heart beats in his chest like a tight timpani, and he wonders if he should have thought harder on this sooner, because it all seems so obvious now. But more than that, he wonders for how long he’s looked at Rei like a fresh breath of air, like a spot of dry land in an endless ocean. Like something he’s wanted for a long time.
He doesn’t sleep.
5.
Rin heads back to Samezuka regrettably more confused than he was when he left, and Sousuke pokes fun at him for looking so tired despite having four days off. Rin’s got enough energy in him to tease back, just enough that Sousuke won’t realize that he’s going through a bit of a personal revelation, but that’s all he can really manage to do.
It seems that he’s back to square one, because he still finds himself unable to sleep, staring at the metalwork that holds up Sousuke’s bunk above him. Night after night, he tosses and turns and tries not to groan in frustration at how truly exhausted he is, but he can’t help but let his thoughts race, can’t keep himself from thinking about how stupid he’s been. Somebody crashes into his life and completely changes it for the better, has the modesty to act like he owes Rin something, treats him like a close friend because that’s just what good people do. Rin thinks that it was never about showing Rei that he wasn’t in any debt from the beginning, it’s always been about something more complex than that.
He doesn’t go out on midnight runs, doesn’t visit the pool, doesn’t even get out of bed for fear of waking Sousuke up, because if his childhood friend was getting suspicious when Rin didn’t know what was going on, there’s no telling what he’d do now that Rin does understand. So he just suffers in silence, and everyday he feels more and more heavy, has less and less energy, and eventually he starts falling asleep in class again.
There’s a burning knot of dread and excitement that pools in the base of his stomach when he realizes that he’s, once again, behind on biology, and he stares at Rei’s name in his phone for at least a half an hour (accurate, this time) before selecting it.
“You could probably say that hemochromatosis happens more in men because of correlations that date back to the Black Plague, really.” Rei says thoughtfully, staring down at a badly written paper Rin is kind of embarrassed to have him read. “Men during that time had more iron in their blood, anyway, due to women having menstrual cycles and children typically being malnourished, but that iron also led to men being more commonly infected. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Rin lies.
Rei sets the paper down on the floor and stretches to crack his back. He’d opted to come to Rin’s dorm instead of inviting him over this time because he had apparently been in the area anyway, and Sousuke had left to go do some shopping or whatever else he had said, Rin hadn’t really been paying attention. The lack of sleep is really starting to make him spacy, and even with Rei explaining things more clearly than his teacher, he can’t help but find himself getting distracted.
Rin’s surprised to hear Rei laugh out of the blue, and he feels self-conscious for a moment before Rei speaks. “Did I ever tell you what your sister thought was happening to me when I was coming to get help with swimming from you?” Rei rubs the back of his neck, and his shirt is riding up some, revealing the bottom of his stomach, and Rin only barely remembers to reply to him.
“No, I don’t think you did.” he says, his throat dry.
Rei’s gaze travels to the ceiling, as if he’s trying to remember certain bits and pieces of the situation, and there’s a small grin tugging at his lips. “She brought me all these dating books at the end of class one day, just slammed them right down on my desk and told me I could ask her advice if I ever fell in love with a girl. She thought I was cutting out after swim practice to visit a girl I had a crush on. It was very nice of her, though more than a little misled.”
Rin nods. “Well, that’s Gou for you. Always the romantic.” He smirks. “I might have been a bit embarrassed had one of my friends done that to me. You don’t come off as the kind of guy who’s that hopeless when it comes to girls.”
At that, Rei blushes and seems to pause for a moment, keeping his eyes fixed on the ceiling as he thinks over his words. Rin thinks it’s a little strange, but then figures Rei must just be the shy type when it comes to romance, and eventually, the other boy brings his gaze down. “I… ha, well, it’s funny you should say that. I mean, that hadn’t been the case, but had it been, I probably would have been talking her ear off asking so many questions. I’m not… very good with things like that.”
Rin hums in thought. “No kidding. I mean, aside for needing some help with your swimming, you seem like a pretty smooth guy. There isn’t really anything to be good at.” He scratches his cheek. “I mean, you just tell a girl you like her, you date, you kiss, simple stuff like that. It’s easy.”
“Yeah, the whole, uh… kissing situation is a bit out of my league.” Rei’s face dyes a shade darker and Rin is beginning to feel the tension and embarrassment radiating off of him. He feels bad, he hadn’t meant to put Rei on the spot but -
Wait.
“I, uh,” Rin starts, and now he’s starting like an awkward preteen, his tongue suddenly feeling two sizes too big for his mouth. He knows that this could either be the best or the worst thing he could possibly propose at this very moment, but he knows if he doesn’t just get it out in the air then he’ll probably never work up the nerve to say anything even close to it ever again. “I could… teach you, if that’s not too forward. Just so you know. I guess.”
The minute it’s out there, Rin immediately realizes how stupid it sounds and regrets saying it, but Rei stutters for a moment, keeping his eyes firmly focused on his hands, balled up on his knees tightly enough to whiten his knuckles. “I suppose that would help me in the long run.” he says quickly, punctuating it by a quick, nervous laugh. “And besides, we were already in a teaching rhythm - or, uh, not rhythm, but, um. Well, you know, one favor for another. I think.”
Rin opens his mouth to say something, but he closes it again, choosing against it. If there’s a best way to do this, it’s the simplest and most straightforward way possible. He clears some of the papers off of the floor between them and moves them to the side, and shimmies forward so that he’s sitting closer to Rei, almost uncomfortably close, on the floor. He seems even more tense now that Rin’s moved, and Rin lifts his hand, almost lays it on top of Rei’s own, but instead chooses to put it on his shoulder.
He smiles, and tries to be comforting. “Hey, relax, it’s simple, I’ll show you.” He examines Rei’s face for a moment, meeting his eyes before moving down to glance at his lips quickly, and he tries to be inconspicuous when he licks his own. “Close your eyes.”
Rei does as he’s told and scrunches his eyes hard, and it takes all of Rin’s willpower not to laugh. He looks like he’s bracing himself, his face is still a bright red from embarrassment, and he pops one eye open when Rin says, quieter, “Not like that, not so tightly.” Rei nods and exhales shakily, and he relaxes his face enough so that he doesn’t look like he’s in pain, although he still looks more nervous than anyone Rin has ever seen in his life.
“Okay, so,” Rin starts, and he’s still not sure where to put his hands, so he just braces them on either of Rei’s shoulders, feeling stiff and awkward in his movements, “you have to make sure that your head is angled so that you won’t bump noses with the other person, so normally one person’s head will be straight - that’ll be you for now - and the other person’s head will be tilted.” Rei nods again without opening his eyes, and Rin takes a moment to look at his mouth again. He leans closer, bringing his voice down. “Other than that, all you do is,” he says, practically speaking the words against Rei’s lips, “go for it.”
And he does. He closes the gap between them and presses his lips against Rei’s, and the younger swimmer makes a small, strangled noise in the back of his throat, surprised at the sudden contact. His lips are drier than Rin expected, but their mouths still fit together well, and Rin moves one of his hands up to grasp at the nape of Rei’s neck. He exhales gently through his nose before realizing that, the way Rei has himself all clammed up, he’ll never get into the motion of it on his own. Rin has an idea.
He backs away and sighs. “Hey, uh, what was the name of that thing you were talking about earlier?” Rei opens his eyes, bewildered and still blushing enough to reach the tips of his ears. “The disease where your blood has too much iron in it? I keep forgetting that.”
Rei hesitates, clearly confused, and he furrows his brow. “Um… you mean hemochro -”
Rin swoops in while he’s still talking and catches his lips mid-sentence, and Rei jumps harder than Rin really would have liked, but there’s no way he would have relaxed on his own. Rin pushes forward to make the kiss more natural, moving against Rei’s lips like it’s second nature, and the sound Rei makes is… well, it’s flustered, that’s for sure, but it isn’t a grunt of surprise or discomfort, more like a sudden whine of need. Rin keeps his hand steady on the back of Rei’s neck and brings the other one down to rest on his side, pulling him closer, and that’s when Rei decides to push back, finally reciprocating Rin’s motions in full, and Rin’s not sure if this guy has never had experience with kissing, because he gets into it like he knows what he’s doing. Rin nips at Rei’s bottom lip playfully before deepening the kiss, slipping his tongue past Rei’s lips tentatively, asking for permission. Rei opens his mouth a bit wider, and that’s all the permission Rin needs.
He realizes, vaguely, in the back of his mind, that he’s practically in Rei’s lap at this point, licking into his mouth like he’s been dying to for months (which he’s coming to understand that he has been) and he moves the hand he has on Rei’s side up to feel his chest through the soft fabric of his shirt. Rei seems to be unsure of what to do with his hands, but after a moment he brings one up to the side of Rin’s head, caresses the sharp jut of his cheekbone before tangling into his hair, and he must not realize the way he tugs at it gently. Rin makes a quiet, desperate noise, barely even perceptible to his own ears, but it seems to be enough to knock the situation into Rei, because he breaks off abruptly, blinks hard, and then scuttles back an inch.
“I, um. I.” he stutters, and Rin’s just as dazed as he is, and super bummed that he’s not making out with someone anymore, “I think I should, uh. You see, I’m glad that - thank you - uh, no, t-today’s been educational for the both of us, but I really should be getting home.”
It takes Rin a second longer than it usually would to really process what he’s saying, and Rei’s already haphazardly gathering up his papers and the textbooks he lugged over when he says, “Well, hold on, it’s not even dark, you don’t -”
“I really think I should go, my parents are probably worried sick!” Rei cuts him off, and his voice is strained, his face somehow an even darker shade of red than it was before, and he hastily crams everything into his backpack (certainly uncharacteristic, those papers could get wrinkled) before bouncing to his feet and half-jogging to the door. “Thank you so much for having me over, Rin-san, h-hopefully we’ll see each other soon, maybe, I don’t know! Um, yes, bye! Have a good, uh. Bye!”
He damn near trips out of Rin’s dorm room and slams the door behind him, and Rin is left sitting on the floor, still utterly and hopelessly confused and definitely more riled up than he was ten minutes ago, but now he’s alone, and that sucks. He stares at the door, thinking it has to be some cruel dream that he’s messed up this badly, but a minute goes by, and then two, and then five, and nothing changes. He gets up slowly and brushes himself off, straightens out the wrinkles in his shirt and his pants, but never takes his eyes from the door, afraid he might miss something, and a glowing hot ball of regret begins to form right in the center of his chest, and it takes everything he has to swallow it down.
He moves slowly, mechanically, to sit down on his bed, and he braces his elbows on his knees, holding his head up with his hands as he stares at the floor. His lips still tingle and it feels like the hot air rushing through his lungs from Rei, his nerves, his anxiety, his utter desperation to just get it right, is still flowing through him. And damn him, he still doesn’t know what that stupid blood disorder is called, anyway.
His room is painfully silent.
+1.
At least it is for a minute or two more, until the door slams open again and scares Rin so badly that he yelps. Rei is standing there in his doorway with his stupid overfilled green backpack and his stupid flushed face and he’s breathing hard, and he says, completely out of the blue, “I was walking down the street and I realized I needed to ask you something!”
“Um,” is all Rin can say for a second, watching Rei as he pants and refuses to let go of his grip on the doorknob. “Sure, uh. Shoot.”
“Are we dating?!” Rei’s voice is panicky and distressed, almost as if the answer to this question could potentially send the world crashing down around him. “Because I realize it kind of feels like I’ve been dating you for a while and I got really scared because you’re really good at kissing and I never thought you’d want to date somebody like me but are we already dating?!”
Rin’s processing the whole conversation like it’s at half speed and underwater. “I,” he starts, his voice almost comically grave, “I think we. I think we totally are, I think we’re dating.”
Rei groans loud enough to reverberate through the entire room and he kicks the door shut, dropping his backpack on the floor, and he exclaims to the heavens (or the ceiling, that is), “How long have I not been single?!” and it’s the last thing Rin hears before Rei crosses the room and kisses him like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do while he’s alive.
That’s when everything suddenly speeds up for Rin, like somebody hitting fast-forward on a recording, and he becomes very aware of the fact that Rei is kissing him again, and he takes full advantage of the situation, bringing one arm up to loop around his neck and meet him in full. Rei’s got one leg resting on the edge of Rin’s bed, so Rin pulls away and nips at his lips, grinning as he says, “Here, come here,” and tugs at Rei’s shoulders.
They collapse in a bit of a heap with Rin’s back against the mattress and Rei suspended only a few inches above him, clearly caught off guard. He stutters for a moment before saying, “Okay, uh, that’s. This is good, I just didn’t think I’d get this far, I’m still really slow on this sort of thing.”
Rin puts a hand up. “Sure, noted. No rushing.” His arm’s still looped around Rei’s shoulders, but he pulls it back and reaches up to gently slide Rei’s glasses off of his face. He looks different without his eyes being framed, but it almost looks as if his face is even more open now, more earnest. He looks like a man who thinks he’s dreaming, and he stares at Rin with a deep, blue darkness swirling in his eyes. “Thank you for coming back.”
And with that, some of the confusion and anxiety and awkward embarrassment seems to dissipate from Rei’s expression, and even he grins a little, leaning down again to kiss Rin in full, sliding his tongue into Rin’s mouth as he was shown earlier, and Rin tangles his hands in the younger boy’s hair, letting out a quiet sigh of approval. There’s something to be said about the way Rei picks up new talents when learning, but Rin can definitely say that he’s glad he got the kissing thing down faster than his backstroke. He finds his hands roaming down graceful slope of Rei’s lower back, teasing at the skin underneath the thin cloth with his nails, and when he reaches the hem at the bottom, he slides his hands underneath and does the same over again in the other direction, slowly, and Rei breaks off the kiss to breathe shakily.
“I don’t… I don’t want to do anything you wouldn’t want me to do.” Rei says softly, and he’s partially unfocused with the way Rin is moving his hands up his back and over his abdomen. He pauses and uprights himself just enough to slip his shirt over his head and deposit it somewhere on Rin’s mess of a bedroom floor, before leaning down to kiss him briefly. “I’m flying blind here, I just want to make you happy. I guess.”
“Well, you’ve already done that, so there’s really no pressure.” Rin says, matter-of-fact, but it gets Rei blushing again, so he’s glad he said it. “You just need to relax, Rei, don’t overthink it. Seriously.” He moves one of his hands down to grab at Rei’s ass, and he lifts his own hips up and grinds up against him, feeling the hard line of Rei’s cock through the fabric of his pants. Rei makes a strangled sound and Rin bites his lip at the sudden friction, repeating the motion slowly, over and over in a tantalizing rhythm. “It’s easy.”
Rei exhales slowly through his nose. “I… okay.” He puts one hand on Rin’s hips and lowers them back to the bed, and he leans his head down again. Rin shuts his eyes, expecting Rei’s mouth to meet his again, but he feels the warmth of Rei’s mouth start to suck at the pulse point on his neck at the exact same moment that his hips grind down on Rin’s again, and he moans, spreading his legs as to allow the younger swimmer better access. Rei uses one hand to lift up one of Rin’s legs, rutting against him with the same infuriating pace Rin had set before, and he continues to suck deep, red marks into the side of Rin’s neck and against his collarbone. He licks the pads of his thumb and forefinger on his free hand before using it to hike Rin’s shirt up, rubbing against his nipple with slow, circular motions that match the tempo of his hips.
Rin’s breath hitches and he lets out a low, quiet whine, tangling his hand in Rei’s hair and pulling at the dark strands. “See?” he breathes, rocking his hips to match Rei’s in time, “I didn’t even have to tell you any of that, you got it all on your own.” Rei chuckles nervously and leaves the neat line of bruises forming on Rei’s neck and collar to kiss him again, deeply and with a much more apparent lust than before, and Rin moans into Rei’s mouth when their tongues intertwine again. He doesn’t notice when Rei lets up on the pressure of his thrusting or when he slowly lowers Rin’s hiked-up leg, but he sure as hell notices when Rei hooks a finger in the hem of his sweatpants and pulls them down far enough to expose his fully-hard cock, dripping against his skin. Rei looks at it and licks his lips, grasping it gently. Rin’s about to make some stupid comment about the hungry look on Rei’s face, but he gasps when Rei begins stroking, slowly at first, but then with a steady and strong rhythm that makes Rin’s groin ache.
His eyes slide shut and he gets lost in the feeling of it for a couple of seconds, the way Rei's hand moves on his cock like nothing Rin's ever even dreamt of, but he comes to the hazy realization that he's the only one getting serviced here, and he shakes himself back into semi-focus. “Hey, hey,” Rin says, and he stops Rei with a hand on his wrist. Rei starts to stutter out an apology, but his words fall dead as Rin reaches down to grasp at the buttons of his jeans. “Far be it from me to stop you, but I don’t wanna be the only one having a good time here.” He pushes Rei’s jeans down from his hips, and they don’t get all the way off him, but enough so that his cock is exposed, and Rin grasps it, rubbing down the whole length of it once, twice, to get the feeling of it, and also to watch the way Rei’s face crumbles and the needy, breathless groan that he lets out into the too-warm air. “C’mere,” Rin mumbles, grasping both members at the same time, Rei’s and his own. He pecks at Rei’s lips as he begins to stroke the both of them off simultaneously, the friction from his hand and from Rei’s cock driving him insane.
Rei is breathing hard and he brings his hand down to cover Rin’s, matching his tempo and rocking his hips slightly, gauging Rin's reaction, and Rin groans, the edges of his vision blurring as he feels himself getting nearer and nearer to coming. “You… you sound…” Rei starts, and he leans down to kiss Rin, and Rin is sure he must look like a mess from Rei’s point of view, flushed and disheveled with red marks smattered across his skin. Rei brings his mouth next to Rin’s ear, mumbles, “Let me hear you again.” And how can he not oblige?
Rei picks up the rhythm and Rin can feel a strange sensation of fiery hotness and chilling ice begin to center at the pit of his stomach, and he moans, long and low, as he and Rei stroke one another in tandem. His hand slips and he accidentally rubs the pad of his thumb roughly over the tip of his cock and a full-body shake wracks him from his head to his toes, and his groan is ragged, throwing his head back as he comes in white ribbons across his stomach. His own hand stutters, but Rei keeps working him through it until he’s spent, kissing his cheek and his jaw and down his neck until the tension in his body finally dissipates and he relaxes, loose and boneless against the bed.
Rei kisses him gently and Rin can feel him smiling against his mouth. “You, uh. H-How was that?” he asks, still cautious but clearly happy, and Rin feels slow and lethargic as he smiles up at the younger swimmer, answering him by reaching up and kissing him again. Rei gets distracted by the kiss, sweet and sensual as it is, and Rin takes the opportunity to muster up the last of his strength and flip them both over.
“Wha -?!”
“Don’t think I didn’t notice.” Rin says with a smirk, now looming over Rei like a predatory animal. “You were just gonna let me come and not even let me worry about you. Because you’re sweet.” He kisses Rei quickly. “But also dumb, sometimes. Lie back so I can take care of you.”
Rei blushes hard as Rin shifts down so that his face is closer to Rei’s hips, and he stutters, “You really don’t have to, I - I, um - oh my god.” He watches Rin lick at the head of his cock before taking in a bit of the length. Rin works his mouth and takes Rei into his mouth slowly, sucking on his cock and laving his tongue around the head like it’s the only thing he knows how to do, and he works at the base with his hand, stroking it in tandem with his mouth. “You’re… Rin-san, please.”
Rin watches as Rei throws his head back and covers his mouth with the back of his hand, his hips stuttering as he tries not to thrust into the warmth of Rin’s mouth, and he feels triumphant, in a way, that he could make him look like that, all flushed and embarrassed. It doesn’t take Rin very long, sucking at Rei’s cock and occasionally bringing his mouth off of it to lick up its length from base to tip, slowly, torturously, and Rei is making small little mewling sounds like he really can’t stand it any longer. Rin takes it into his mouth one more time, quickly, and that’s all Rei can handle, coming with a low groan and a hand in Rin’s hair.
Rin swallows and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, casual as Rei watches from below him in a daze. “See?” he says pointedly. “Everyone has fun when Rin’s involved.” Rei lets out a harsh breath, something that sounds like an aborted laugh, and Rin grins, moving to kiss him slowly, letting his tongue travel briefly into Rei’s mouth so he can taste himself (and he does, if the growl in the back of his throat is any indication,) before climbing out of the bunk to fix his sweatpants and grab tissues from the bathroom.
When he returns, Rei’s rubbing some dirt off the lenses of his briefly discarded glasses with the hem of the shirt he’s still not wearing, and his boxers and jeans have been pulled up but haven’t been buttoned yet. “You know,” Rin says, “had I known we could have been doing this the whole time, I would have cut right to the chase and asked you out when I walked you home from the plaza.”
Rei slips on his glasses and looks up at him, perplexed. “How many dating things have we done that we haven’t been aware of?” He thinks about it for a second. “There was the movie, and the shopping mall…”
“You bought me stuff when I was sick,” Rin adds, “and also you’ve been helping me study since… well, for a while now.” He sighs. “We’ve really been dating for a long time, haven’t we?”
“When’s our anniversary?” Rei asks, and it’s so gravely concerned that Rin can’t help but laugh. Rei seems all too pleased that he was able to make Rin laugh, and he climbs out of the bunk bed to slip his shirt back on and button his pants. “I should probably head out before Sousuke-san gets back from his errands. Or my parents start panicking.”
He takes a step forward and bridges the small gap between himself and Rin and kisses him - without any suggestion, just the simple, sweet action of someone who’s altogether too happy to kiss another. Rin lets his eyes slide shut and he feels a bit overwhelmed, and he kisses Rei back with the same intent, the same level of adoration.
When Rei pulls back, he clears his throat, and he grins sheepishly. “So, I’ll… I’ll call you tomorrow. Or tonight. Or I’ll text you tonight, and call you tomorrow? Or something like that?”
Rin smiles back at him. “Sure. Both is good.” He yawns, and he stretches one arm over his head to work out some kinks in his shoulders. “Besides, I’m probably gonna have to keep nagging you over biology stuff anyway, so we might as well keep in contact as much as possible. That includes visits.” He winks, and Rei flushes.
Rei kisses Rin again before grabbing his backpack from the floor, and kisses him again before saying goodbye, and when he kisses Rin after the goodbye, Rin laughs and shoos him off through the door. He waves and shuts the door quietly behind him, and Rin just stands and stares at the door for a minute, then two, then five. Much less regretful, much more insanely satisfied.
Later that night, Sousuke asks into the darkness, “Did you figure out why you couldn’t sleep?”
He doesn’t get an answer. Rin is fast asleep, and Sousuke smiles in satisfaction, because he knows what the answer is, anyway.